Problem is many ladies ask the “what do you do” question not because they’re interested in your career/passions, they’re mostly interested in how much money you (us guys) make

You went straight from dont make the date sound like a job interview to ask her " Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" which is the biggest job interview question I ever heard

I usually try to ask questions that give the person the opportunity to showcase their best self. I ask them about their passions, goals, dreams, etc. and when they get excited about something, ask them to elaborate and explain more. In general, it makes for a pleasant experience for them because people love being heard and it allows you to see a glimpse into their best self.

I think a good rule is to ask yourself "how would I feel if they asked ME this question?" before you say it. If women's number one thing they look for on a date is to feel comfortable, then asking questions that make them feel the opposite is not exactly going to go well for you.

I won’t ask these questions as long as they don’t ask the same questions to me either. It’s only fair. If you can’t reciprocate, or show me the same respect, then we’re done.

I've been asked all these questions by many women. The outcome is an awkward feeling that makes a date feel like a tense interview rather than a fun time out. Maybe it's just me, but letting things just go organically and slow, not uptight and fast, makes the most sense.

I had a co-worker ask me “What’s your story” one time, and i agree with everything Courtney said lol, it’s such a vague question, i had no idea how to answer it

Getting a first date at all is 90% of the struggle for men.

Asking where do you see this relationship going on a first date is actually insane I could not imagine someone ever asking something like that unerotically And I thought I needed help lol.

I had a great script to follow when I met my wife. I met her at work on her first day. I was supposed to train her on our computer system and also do a quick interview for our office newsletter’s spotlight page for new employees. The questions were along the lines of “What’s something you do for fun?” “What’s a dream of yours outside the profession?” They were all “fun” questions and turned out to be super ice-breakers. I left thinking, “she’s nice.” Oh, and I also noticed she had nice eyes… Yep kids, that’s how I met your mother!!!

Important things as well: 0:45 First thing - What do you do; 1:09 agree with that as well; 1:15 Appropriate questions as well; 2:06 Second thing - What do you bring to the table; 3:50 So true that; 4:40 Better questions as well; 5:07 Third thing - What's your story; 5:38 Good questions; 6:47 agree with specific questions as well; 6:52 Forth thing - Why are you still single; 9:29 Fifth thing - Why did your last relationship end; 10:33 Sixth thing - Where do you see this relationship going; 11:27 Appropriate way of thinking as well; 11:43 just relax; 12:23 Seventh thing - Sexual questions; 13:05 Agree with that behavior as well (it's bad); 13:48 Agree with morals and values as well; 15:30 Eight thing - Are you seeing anyone else; 16:24 to summarize all the told things as well. I love when you have told that topic as well Courtney. I can say that what women don't like to ask, also men don't like some of these questions to be asked as well. Among the mentioned things that you have told (on first date), I can add also are: Ninth thing - How much do you earn; and Tenth thing - Why did you choose to do this job in company. Generally, all the told things can be also used in meeting some new people as well. I remember one thing that my father told me as well when I was little child as well. He told me this: "Son, when you're meeting new people, don't behave to them like this: Here is a heart on your palm." As for me I remember that some girls asked what type of the model kit airplane is this, then some of them asked me what's your hobby, and sometimes some of them asked me this about the hobby modeling: "Is hard for you to do that model kits." I'm telling you this, cause I had a chance that I have met some women that like doing model kits as well (believe it or not). Looking forward to see more topics to be done as well dear Courtney. Keep up the work 💪💪💪🦾🦾🦾. Love you 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤❤❤❤.

One thing to keep in mind when going on a date is to try to be friendly as you possibly can. If you approach the date with the idea of wanting a relationship, you will be more serious & tense. However, if you approach it as trying to meet new friends you will be more friendly, fun, outgoing, and in the end will have more luck with the ladies. Because, at the end of the day all of us, not just women, want to have FUN, no one wants to be around someone who is extremely serious, unless you are a serious person yourself. Additionally, most people enter relationships when the person they are with are enjoying their time, having fun, and as cliche as it may sound, enjoying the experiences of the world.

Person 1: "So, what do you bring to the table? 🧐" Person 2: "Mostly food and water, sometimes a deck of cards or games 😁."

"What's your story?" First, I was a single cell. Then I split into a double, and so on...

I wouldn't ask a woman why she's single but I dread being asked that question as I expect a women to say "there must be something wrong with you."

I think the “what do you bring to the table” question is more of a rhetorical question to highlight how women aren’t really expected to bring anything significant (jobs, money, etc.). I don’t think it is for a first date, or any date at all. Definitely turns the date into a job interview

You really don't need to ask her why she's single. It'll come up in one way or another, especially once you get to know and spend more time with her. And once you do find out, you'll understand why you stopped seeing her lol

I mostly agree with the things you said. One thing though, call me old fashioned, but the being exclusive is a big thing for me. If you see other men, I'm not interested in you. Same goes the other way round, if I'm interested in you, I'm not seeing other women.

A lot of these seem very intrusive and too much too soon. I had a girl one time tell me a pretty rough story about what her ex did to her. Mind you this was the second date so definitely an over-share. A question I like to ask on dates is “What’s the nerdiest thing about you?” This helps me get a sense of their interests and hobbies.

Thanks Courtney for your insightful coaching. I think the abundance mindset isn’t focused on enough for men in the dating scene; many of us guys unwittingly have scarcity mindset which torpedoes opportunities and sets you up all wrong for a date. Once you embrace abundance mindset, you realise that there is an abundance of potential compatible mates, and you relax about the entire process. Women clearly notice the difference here, and the switch in philosophies has been a paradigm shift for me personally. Thank you for your encouragement, empathy and appreciation; I’m sure it means a lot to all of your subscribers. I have made multiple micro shifts in my approach to dating since I began watching your clips around a year ago. Keep up the great work 🙏

Most girls on dating apps get mad when you ask them what their passions are .... I've tried so many times and they all get mad or don't respond....must be because they don't have any passions or hobbies

And guys... contrary to female dating advice... you do not have to dress or act a certain way or say the right thing to get a girl... If she likes you, you almost can't mess up. To the contrary... if she doesn't like you... all the dinners and flowers in the world won't get her attracted to you.

"What's my body count?" 32 kills and counting. 😎

Courtney, thank you for helping people be better.

I died when you said "I am an anxious girlie". 🤣💀

Trying not to provoke anyone's shame/guilt about themselves is a good rule of thumb. I've always been comfortable being an open book, as long as the questions were asked, but oftentimes, most people do not since they are more apprehensive than I am. I'm probably the most extreme on that spectrum.

Classy as usual. What sets you apart is you aren't negative.

Don't go on formal dates unless you're in a relationship ... don't try and "court", it never works.

Hi Courtney, great video! I like how you gave alternatives from a very staightforward question (which I feel is how most guys think) to a more elegant and nuanced question, but that gives the same answer. Ive found success in asking more fun type questions that also reveal their values morals etc. Some of my favorites are If you could get any tattoo what would it be and whats its meaning? And then Describe your ultimate retirement scenario.

I agree with "Why are you single?" question 100%. I don't like this question as I feel it kind of puts me on the defensive. I would imagine it would make women feel the same way. There are many factors and not all have to do with a person's personal flaws. Sometimes, relationships just don't work out or you haven't met the right person

Ironic as women have asked me lots of these questions…and for the same reasons you made this video, the questions were just as off putting for me as well 😂

I remember being asked these questions several times, and I've always found myself confused and not sure how to answer. Not in a boring way anyway. While it is a relief to know some boring conversations weren't my fault, can we get a follow-up on how to answer these questions, if we get asked them?

A number of years ago (in my 30s) on a 1st date in a coffee bar and after 30-40 minutes of getting to know each other she asked, "What's the downside?" I didn't know what she meant. She explained by saying "You're attractive, intelligent and single so what's the downside?" Somewhat shell-shocked I tried to list personal negative attributes like procrastination etc. but she wanted something deeper to explain myself. There really was no correct answer. I mean she was my age and single but it never crossed my mind to ask her why. Of course back then we didn't have the internet much less the wisdom and wise advise of Courtney to guide us through the dating jungle. Thank you Courtney for all you do today!

I've got a good one: "What the hell are you good for? Or... "tell me, why should I ask you out again?" LOL. That'll get her off her high horse. 🤣

I am always impressed by your videos - you're very personable and I think your advice is always good common sense and I appreciate you speak of morals and values. You're doing a fantastic job!

Courtney I think you made some good points on the topic of bringing up sex. But there is something that you don't realize, there are people such as myself who have been cut off from the rest of the world and sheltered at a young age. I grew up in violence and isolation. I don't know what natural progression of a relationship looks like. All I know is that I see people around me together and I am aware that they are an intimate couple. I have no idea how they came to be that way. Besides seeing people who are already together I have nothing to go off of to understand or see how two people have gotten to the point of being intimate overtime as opposed to in a direct way such as an agreement to hook up via tinder etc.

It's strange how women brag about their age when they're under 25 but suddenly do not want to talk about it once they hit 30

I had a girl ask me what is the sweetest thing you've done for a woman? I answered, "Well, I turned a suicidal woman into a happy, healthy successful professional woman." She said, "No, what is the sweetest gesture?" I think to myself, "I'm sorry, but is that not enough?" I SAVED the woman's life from the brink of death. I calmly say that this is turning into an interview, and I lost interest. I unmatched her. Dating has turned into a job application/interview process, and then when they "hire" you, you get the distinct pleasure of women letting you spend all of your money and resources on them. Stay strong and stay single, kings.

Hi Courtney, once again, another great and down-to-earth video! Can you make a video on dating/relationship advices for busy people? What if people want enter a relationship but afraid that they won't have the time for other person. I know that if we truly want something, we should be able to make time for it, but sometimes it is just very hard when other areas in your life (schools, work, family...) are also demanding for your time. Thank you!

This was a great video once again. On a similar note, be aware that whatever question you ask someone is completely fair game for the other person to ask the same question back to you once you have answered. Yes, there are definitely questions that are first date questions and others that should not be asked until date two, three, etc.

I find the best way to get into an interesting conversation is to ask a question with no clear answer as watching them solve a hypothetical problem with give you an indication of the sort of person they are. Something like "If you was dictator for a day what would you do?" Or "If you had an hour to live what would you do?" For best results have a witty answer ready for if she asks it back.

If they're asking what you earn. You are entitled to ask them the same thing.

Basically, just wait to meet people and don't put too much pressure on a first date to be the ideal person, the most important thing is to see if you have a good time together, after that you can start getting to know all of these things

so asking "whats your body count" is a no no is it? damn.. iv wondered where iv been going wrong

I got asked how did my last relationship ended. Dunno what she would extract from that and its just not something I am confortable talking with almost total stranger. First meetings shouldnt be about extracting the past. But about more light- hearted stuff. I reallyy like your suggestions at start about questions to find out more about the person.

Great video, I've been asked many of these questions over the years, that's why I'm 70 years old, single and never married...

"What's your body count" IS a nessesary question. Technically not on the 1st date. But if you are looking for purity and are pure yourself, then maybe. If your going on a date with someone and you don't ever plan to marry someone with a count higher than 0, then its best not to waste any more of their and your time.

I have a date this weekend with a gal, and I agree I like to keep it light and fun, no pressure just getting to know each other appreciate your input! One thing I'd like to see you cover is the male height issue. statistically only 14.5% of men are over 6ft tall. Yet statistically 80% of women on dating sites are looking for a man over 6 ft! That's what I found because I was curious about the topic . Being six foot three myself I don't have problems meeting gals online. But height maybe a problem for a lot of men unless they're extremely fit and rich! LOL. Can you interview your peer group and ask them what they think? That would definitely be interesting and a real sampling of what they really think. Appreciate what you do Courtney keep up the great work!

This comment is off topic but worth mentioning. I quit alcohol recently to be more healthy and woman are definitely looking for men who don’t drink. I noticed this and I believe it is because alcohol makes relationships much more difficult. It’s a big advantage over other men who use alcohol. Woman know that the man who is in control of himself and his life doesn’t need booze.

Watching the video... when you said "what do you bring to the table?" I was literally shocked! Wow! I just interviewed someone today, and I wouldn't have even asked that question in an interview setting. So many better ways to extract that kind of information.

This is so funny!!! The question of “what do you do?” Happens to be the first question that most women ask within the first 10 minutes (if you manage to get a dialogue). I’ve been on many speed dating events and other singles events. It NEVER fails. It’s the first question women ask. I’m honestly surprised that any guy would lead with such a question

I understand it both ways. I get not asking about body count on the first date bc it can be awkward and off-putting, but at the same time none of the rest matters if that ain't right, because being promiscuous is an automatic disqualifier.

I try to ask questions, but it usually ends up with the girl thinking I’m being rude.

"What do you bring to the table" is a question that seems most often generated by those who don't actually have a table to begin with and are looking to use someone else's. If you're in your frame, holding yourself by your values and principles, then that will speak for itself across all situations at any given time. The table is only useful when it is consistently there and can bear the weight of not only the lightest of things, but also the heaviest. So, to consider the question of the table in the first place is to acknowledge to the world that you do not, yourself, have a table. In a desperate search to feel grounded, you're seeking grounding in someone/something else, which is always a case of falling out of your frame.

Interestingly enough, these are the exact same questions that my last date asked me. She also asked about my relationship with my ex-wife and if my ex-wife and I still communicated and how we did it to remain peaceful. But the questions you made in the video were all the same ones she asked me. This definitely goes both ways.

Her past matters. At some point ask the girl you're out with this: "if I was to call up all of your exes, told them who I was, and that I'd like to date you...what would they tell me about you?" Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

🙏🏼Definitely open doors for me to prepare myself for this one particular girl that I wanted to ask her out, super cute beautiful woman. I think I’m ready for a relationship but worry that I might scare her away with awkward conversations not knowing what to say. Ever time I mean all the time she passes by my workplace she always gives me a smile, i smile back not knowing if I should approach her. After watching this video gives me confidence n courage. It’s been a while for me on the dating world lol 😆 wish me luck. Thank you Courtney for the amazing tips. Really appreciate all your advice and suggestions always on point. 🙏🏼

An alternative to the "bring to the table" is, "What is your favorite part of being in a relationship?" That will tell you how they view their role and what they consider important.

“What do you being to the table?” My ex asked me this many times while he saw me crying. He had his life together and I dumped him for being an as*hole many times. Now he is doing drugs, broke and calls me everyday crying to tell me I made his life better and that he misses me. It pains me to see him like that but when you really love someone you DONT ask them that or mistreat them.

Hey Courtney, perhaps a good video (unless you made one already) is where to have a first date? From experience, I have noticed on the first dates I’ve had, we would have an activity to do (like mini golf, or a walk in a nice public area). I personally have had success with that because those types of dates allows for distraction if the conversation stalls a bit. That gives both parties time to think of something else to say if they tend to be a little more shy like me. Hope you consider and thanks! 👍🏼

Asking , “What do you bring to the table?” It’s like someone asking you, “how much do you make?” The question on body count… This came up once when I was dating someone. We were both 27. She was alarmed that I had 4 exgirlfriends. She had 1 ex boyfriend. It contradicted a different story. Apparently she had slept with a coworker that another coworker was interested in. I asked for clarification. She said “that was just casual sex” and “it wasn’t serious”. It turns out that she had a lot of 1 night stands in college. I’ve found, or I assume that if someone gives you vague comments, in which they don’t elaborate; assume they’re hiding something.

A conversation shouldn't be a therapy session or a job interview. Ask questions on what they really want to do......passions.....hobbies......outside interests....traveling.....what they like to do in their spare time. Goals and personal accomplishments. Not dull, boring,and insignificant questions. Some local, national, or world news events. A natural flowing and easy-going conversation.

My ideal conversation is saying the least and still be comfortable

I agree with everything except asking if they are seeing other people. I don’t want to waste my time with someone parallel dating because that is an orange flag. Im surprised you think this is a bad question, it’s important to understand for your own expectations as well. It’s not about exclusivity, it’s about knowing the dating attitude of the other person. It’s up for you to decide if you it’s ok but you can’t do that if you don’t know. Really surprised by this making the list! Note it should be asked at the very end though, when the date is almost over and if you think it’s looking positive

Re: the "where do you see this going?" question, @Courtney I'm curious about your thoughts on 1) how soon it should be asked; 2) who (in a hetero relationship) should ask it, the guy or the girl.

I can agree with 99% of this. The "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" is too job interview like. That's a top question in an interview. I'd like to see a "What questions not to ask men and what you should ask." See if it's any different.

I'm so glad I've never asked these questions before lol. I get super nervous on first dates but luckily didn't spit one of these out. I have a few friends who speak like this to random women when we are out and they arent even on dates which is super awkward.

Guy: “What’s your story? Girl: “Oh…well…let’s see…okay…we’ll I was born in Cincinnati… (10 minutes later) Guy: (To himself) “God, she never stops talking.”

I love the phrase "emotional vomit." That's new to me. :) Part of me is thinking that I shouldn't be asking questions to my dates, but just draw the answers out of them. "Tell me what you love." "Tell me what a good day feels like to you." "I like you already. Just talk to me."

Just for her to say that the foundation is built upon values and morals similarities deserve a like for this video. I think that is why "soul mates" are labeled bc it is difficult to find someone with the same or with similar values.

The most accurate is not questions but the vibe, feeling, reaction, or first impressions.

I think the asking of the body count is totally valid, because finding out 10-20 dates in when you have committed/invested time and money that your current girlfriend has slept with x number of guys or walking down the street there is a good chance of being spotted by an number of older boyfriends. Its also difficult to spot by just talking about past relationships, that alone will trigger in her mind "what are you asking?" So when is it a good idea to ask because you are not going to just find out because you guys spend time together.

Best question to ask: How’s your relationship with your father!

"What do you bring to the table?" is a question/phrase I see a lot in comments. It's a question you should be asking IN YOUR MIND about her, you don't say it to her, Geez, (unless you are in 'ending the relationship' argument). In the beginning, it is a very logical and reasonable question to ask yourself about her, but what use actually to ask her? Do you want a load of glory she thinks about herself? You're there filtering her (and she you), both are evaluating each other. You don't ask her to evaluate herself generally. Start nibbling around the edges with questions and hypotheticals and she will reveal who she is in a more honest way. "What's your story?" OMG this is so lame. "What do you bring to the table?", "What's your story?" These type questions are lazy. You get the answers to these questions one little piece at a time if ACCURACY matters to you. You aren't going to get a realistic picture of her from sound bite questions. You put a picture of her together like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, a question for each little piece. If a woman asked me "what's your story?" I would immediately think she isn't very cerebral, the question is pedestrian and vague. The ONLY correct answer to such a question is; "Could you be more specific?" "Where do you see this date going?" NEVER ask such a question. You are there to find out, BUT NOT BY ASKING directly. This is such a lame question. Even if she answered "to your bedroom", it would NOT be a good answer. Ask lots of small questions that she doesn't or at least shouldn't need to think about. When you/they think about the answer you're/they are censoring the response or concocting a clean reply. That's not rigorously honest. Quite the contrary. Small questions, lots of them. Keeps conversation going and gives a clearer, more accurate picture. And NEVER body count questions. You'll not get an honest answer if it's viewed by her to be high, or she thinks you'll think it's too high. A fairly accurate perception of her body count will become clear during filtering. It's more likely that she might ask YOU a body count type question. Have an answer ready for that.

General rule of thumb, if you want to do an "interview" style "date" ... Limit your questions to something broad that will give you insight into your date's thoughts and personality... (these are general examples, and not limited to men asking women ... but can also work the other way around) ... and funnily enough, one of these was covered several times in this video, so massive kudos to Ms. Courtney Ryan. :D A few examples: 1. What single object would you decide to keep with you if you were stranded on a deserted island, and why? 2. Why do you do what you do? 3. Where do you aspire to be in 5 years? These are all safe questions that will give you insight into your date's personality, mindset, etc... and will help you (and her/him) quickly evaluate whether the two of you are a good match. Stop the interview dates! :)

I've got a better solution, I'm just going to give up on relationships! 😂

Also, it's a good idea to ask pertinent questions that make her a little uncomfortable, it shows your ability to calmly have a difficult conversation

YES! The number of times I’ve been asked “what attracted you to me” is way too many. Here’s the deal. All of society has been telling me I shouldn’t put as much stock in your appearance and I don’t know enough about you to say anything else. Y’all want me to give you a chance? Then stop punishing me when I do! 9 times out of 10 I didn’t see any immediate red flags and decided to get to know you before deciding if I like you. How am I supposed to answer honestly without hurting your feelings? Asking this question comes across as fishing for compliments and also moving way too fast. Give me time to get to know you and I’ll tell you on my own time.

Well the fact that enough people ask these questions that you felt compelled to make this list sure makes me feel good about myself, so I guess I benefitted from it in that way 🤣

People actually ask "what do you bring to the table?" That's just twisted.

Men, don't buy this crap. Ask whatever you want. Remember this: Dating IS an INTERVIEW for a LIFE PARTNER, not just for fun. As I told women before I got married, "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here looking for a wife. Friends come and go, family is forever". Gentlemen, always date with a purpose and don't waste your time on nonsense. What YOU want is important. If they can't answer honestly in the beginning, they won't be honest later. Don't waste your time with a liar. Don't waste your time or money "getting to know them" if they can't answer (honestly) a question any other adult would answer. If her feelings get hurt by simple questions, then she's not able to cope with the world (RED FLAG). Never walk around on eggshells when asking questions. Cheers.

What I gathered/understood from the first question you mentioned in the video is, ask more inquisitive questions that gets her to think more. Less generic questions.

yea guys. never ask "what do you bring to the table" because you don't want her to actually feel like you're expecting anything from her and shit :/ just be happy what what you get and be happy when she asks you what you do for a living so that she knows exactly what you're bringing to the table...(this is called sarcasm by the way)

The Last question regarding Body count related to are you dating (likely sleeping with others) . Yes, Men must know this . Asking on the 2nd date is a waste of time and not knowing puts Men at risk NOT Women.

Wait so women can ask men “ What they do “ but we can’t ?

Do you have tattoos? what's your body count? have you ever dyed your hair a crazy colour? do you want children? can you cook? do you get on with your parents? do you use tiktok? do you have an onlyfans? have you been in many relationships? tell me something interesting about yourself? done. No need to waste time if you fail these

Great questions! It's weird, I've noticed a lot of girls get the wrong impression of me. They tend to think I'm like a bit of a player or something, even though I'm a short nerdy guy who has only recently developed better social skills and trying to meet people. I find it easier to ask a girl to hang out than to go out on a date. Most people in general just don't talk anymore, you have their number, ask them what they're doing and nothing! Still to this day, my best friends are all online and we game/talk everyday, can ask them anything!

"What you bring to the table" is just bizzare. An honest answer would be something like your body, and your personality. Possibly you can tack on finances. If you think about it, each is awkward at best. But the biggest problem is the tone: argumentative, hostile, even a bit churlish.

00:45 - What do you do? 2:05 - What do you bring to the table? 5:05 - What’s your story? 6:50 - Why are you still single? 9:30 - Why did your last relationship end? 10:35 - Where do you see this relationship going? 12:15 - Sexual questions

first-- disagree about the "body count" question. in this scenario, the date is going well, i am really interested in her, and I want to know if she is a bed-hopping skank, or, has had a modest amount of relationships. this is discussed on many channel, and goes directly to her ability to be loyal. I have never dated multiple women at the same time, so the "exclusive" question is going to get asked. not as a " or else", i want to know, if later ON, and we are much more of a couple, it has to be exclusive, she says no, never, like, even up to the point of getting married ( yes, there are girls spouting that nonsense ), i want to know NOW, before i waste valuable time, and a sh**ton of money, on a dead end. so yes, i want to know body count, and depending on her age, will decide if I would accept that # as reasonable or not. and, i want to know if she will at least entertain the thought of being exclusive, IF, down the road, we are a much more attached couple. as for questions.. i like to ask what were some favorite hobbies as a kid, and did you carry any of those with you into adult life ? do you have favorite summer vacations you remember, or hope to recreate with someone... what movies and books do you like.. favorite foods, lease favorite foods, hate crowds, love busy places.. all give me a feel for that persons likes, dislikes, general nature, show me some emotion, did they love their family, have a good childhood, all things that affect who they are NOW, and "our" ability to have a future.

I think these are really great and I basically agree with all of them. Although one caveat for me personally (and I think perhaps lots of guys) is the idea of waiting weeks or months to find out if this person is seeing other people at the same time. I certainly wouldn't ask that on the first date and maaaaaybe not even a few weeks, but that would be the max for me I think. I get that women sometimes or even often talk to multiple guys at once while playing the field, but I think that it *feels* unfaithful or something to some guys if it were to go on for weeks or months, especially if they were being physically intimate with all of those guys. I think people are asking this because it's a values-based question for lots of men: if I'm willing to see spend some time to get to know someone and perhaps be intimate with them and them alone, I'd like to have a partner be on the same page with that. Asking right off the bat is a bit much, but I think it's an important question to know within the first few weeks for sure. It's not like we're asking women to commit to an LTR or something. I think we just want to date a woman who likes us enough to not be seeing other dudes for an extended period of time. If she decides we're not it, then she can always jump ship any time she wants. I might be old-fashioned or just unrealistic, but I feel like if I'm dating a girl for months and we really like each other and she says that she has been seeing other guys the whole time, it's very off-putting for her (or me!) to also be doing the same thing with one or more other people. I get that women have more options usually, but it feels like if a woman hasn't stopped talking to other guys after a few weeks at most, then she and I probably aren't really that compatible and/or she's just not sure what she's looking for. The longer it goes on, the more it starts to feel dishonest and disrespectful. And I mean realistically it is, because if she hasn't told a man she's seeing other guys, then that means she is either lying to cover it up or she is simply withholding certain things to avoid arousing suspicion, both of which can make men feel like she is dishonest overall. I know that the classic romance stories have multiple suitors courting one woman, and for lots of women that might even be the reality, but I think that wanting to date people who date one person at a time is an acceptable boundary or value to have while dating. In a lot of those stories, the guys at least get the courtesy of knowing that there's someone else involved. I think my problem is with the fact that is requires the woman to be secretive and/or dishonest during that "test" period or whatever. My reasoning is that if I can take the time to get to know one person at a time, why can't they? Just because they have more options? Would they be okay with me going out with and sharing emotional and/or physical connection with other women? I really don't know the answer, so I am legit curious what other people think. But like I said earlier, it might be that I'm just being unrealistic and I should just go into it accepting that most women will be simultaneously dating several other men, potentially for months. It might just be something that most guys are cool with and I just need to get over it, but the sooner a woman narrows it down to one guy---even if it's not me--the better it is for everyone involved.

If your date has interests that you don't really like, take that as an opportunity to get to know her. Ask questions about it. You don't have to like what she likes, but be interested in WHY she likes what she likes.

I had a girl ask me the fourth one, "Why are you still single." I answered it honestly, but felt strange about her asking me that considering that she wasn't that much younger than me. Courtney's right about that one, it's too presumptuous and hasty to ask outright. Those things will reveal themselves in time.

What do you bring to the table could be nothing more then, “love and affection.” And that would be ok.

Thank you Courtney! Regarding the first alternative question "Wat part of your job you like most?", if I haven't yet learned anything about her occupation at all, then I cannot ask such details. How to ask about her job or what does she do when I'm really interested in, without doing this so directly, before going into more details about the lady?

Sup Court I hope all is well. I don't watch all your videos, but I really enjoy watching this channel grow. Thanks for the videos

It would also depend on the culture of the girl too. My Japanese fiance wasn't a talkative person naturally but enjoyed listening to me talk and asking her questions sometimes. She preferred showing actions of love more than just saying them.

If you're on a date with a woman with one or more of the following: Lot's of tattoos, piercings, dyed hair or ultra tight clothing, the 'body count' question pretty well answers itself.

The "what do you bring to the table?" question made me think about does a partner add value to my life and would I add value to someone else's. I'm 23 on my way to becoming a Marine and most of the things I want I'm heading towards. So it doesn't really make sense for me to be in a relationship. And I wouldn't want to be in a relationship because being in one doesn't really align with any of my goals so I don't think I'd be a good partner.

I bought some dating conversation cards. There are some good ones in there. What do you enjoy about your job? What is your normal routine after work? If the world ended tomorrow, what would you do today? What are your goals this year? What do you enjoy about living in....?