Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know if you're choosing someone out of love or loneliness.

To quote an excellent 80's movie, "I rather be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong reason." Amanda Jones😎

I feel like Ive been meeting the wrong people for so long that I've become so pessimistic about meeting people, which I know is a bad attitude to have, but man oh man, it's so rough

I have absolutely and truly given up entirely. The loneliness is oppressive, but the feeling of constant disappointment is even worse. Stage four lockdown here in Melbourne still and I can’t leave the house for longer than an hour a day. No point whatsoever in wasting my energy. I’m exhausted.

Okay, I changed my mind. I'll date again. What are you doing this Friday, Matt?

The idea of dating the world is beautiful and it’s that type of thinking that we could all benefit from

Introvert here, literally everything drains me. Even going out on a social event just to meet people is extremely draining. And being friendly to strangers is also draining. Being an introvert is just a challenge and I just can’t.

That "give energy only to get energy" thing is something I really needed to hear. It's selfish for me to say "I'm only going to put in this energy if someone is willing to give it in return". I need to do it because that what I want to see in the world! Not because I want a return on my investment

I feel he’s my therapist and knew I gave up

The No.1 thing that trips a lot of us in dating, is choosing the wrong people to give our energy and time to. One thing that is so important to recognising someone amazing, is our own self awareness. The more self awareness we have of our amazing traits and things we need to work on, will help us recognise an amazing quality person when they come along :) Thanks Matthew, always an inspiration for my channel :)

I’ve been following Mathew Hussey for five years now. Since then, whenever I go through a breakup, I leave gracefully. I write down all the things I’d say to my exes as if I was confronting them, but after a few hours, I delete the notes. After calming down and rereading the notes, I feel it’s not worth risking my dignity. I make myself clear to them about what I want, and if they still fail to meet me in the middle, my words will not convince them to come back. I keep my integrity in tact, and usually, my exes contact me after some time gap.

It's even harder when you're a single parent, go to the trouble of arranging child care, then just get ghosted after the date!

Single for 8 years now, while I've been in college (as a grandmama). This gives me hope. Not just for myself, but for all my friends out their who want a loving relationship but are tired of the superficial. I have no interest in online dating or artificial meetups, but this reminds me that I still want to live my life to the fullest and, if Mr.Right is out there, that being actively involved in the things I love out in the world, is probably where I'd run across him. Thank you. :)

#2 is basically the draining part for me... after dating a narcissist I’m so demotivated from pouring into people who just take, take, take 😩

14 years single, loving life, hate online dating

I've been single for a really, really long time. Finally starting to date again 😌 I remember why I hate dating apps 😑

As an older lady I feel like I don’t want to waste my time anymore. I can be doing something else I love. If it happens it happens. But I can’t do anymore. It’s too tiring.

God wants me all to himself in this single season I’m in right now. I moved to another state for work and was dating a guy before I left and then he broke up with me after I arrived. I’m just not allowing anyone else in right now. Time to heal. I am giving up dating on purpose for my purpose! It’s difficult to be alone and not have someone to share life with but it’s no longer my time to date. I’m stickin with God.

Exactly I am just so done too. I do want a relationship to share life and give love. But maybe you can't find it through dating...Maybe it's just destiny. Been looking for so long and even fallen in love a few times ..but you can't make it happen just because you want it even for all the right reasons.

I'm a total extrovert. Prepandemic, I would meet and be approached by lots of people. We would have great chats. And then nothing. I refuse to put in more energy than the person on the other side. Not just in potential love relationships but also friendships. We all deserve better. We all want to show our best at first go; if his best is making me feel like an after thought, I'm out.

Just focus on finding, accepting and loving yourself. When you find yourself, you find love because they are the same.

I found two of my amazingly close friends on dating app... Not everything has to lead to a relationship or love, dating apps can just be like a place for finding someone you enjoy hanging out with and have a great friendship with... It just has to be on you to filter out the quality people... 💯💕 Everything you do can lead to something, just discarding things as useless unless you meet someone you seriously date is just wrong for your life... PS - I did meet my boyfriend in an unexpected way while I was making everything else count it's value...

I see the kindness in this man's eyes.

Who are these people going on actual dates??! I can't even meet men and I'm an outgoing extrovert.

Aww. Shout out to Anthony Bourdain may he forever rest in light. He was definitely passionate about life. "Dating the world" is definitely the way to live life. Thanks again Matthew!! 🤍

Love the last point of yours in this video - "Focus on the person who is going to thank you in the future for not giving up today". Very inspiring I find it. I know I would appreciate a person who is not giving up today to meet me in the future too. Thanks, Matt.

Matthew Hussey..Every mother deserves a son like you.. Every daughter deserves a father like you.. Every sister deserves a brother like you.. Every wife deserves a husband like you.. Every good girl deserves a good man like you.. Matthew Hussey..You deserve all the happiness..all the love..all the respect..in the world..

That last point made me cry. It's hard to think someone will thank me for choosing them when it seems men ghost, hurt, neglect, and abandon me. I've dated so many men in my life during the past 22 years and I'm tired. My birthday is in two weeks and, with going into my 40s, a reminder that if I wasn't enough for any man in my 20s and 30s, how can I be in my 40s as I'm getting older? They don't want a family with me and seem to not want marriage. I get it! I'm not enough and it hurts knowing I'm so complex for one person. Giving up seems like the best thing which is sad in a world of 7.5 billion people. Sorry this is such a sad post, but it's my truth. However, thank you Matthew for the video. 🙂

I’ve been alone for quite some time. Who I give my time, attention, and energy to is very important to me. This pandemic has given me a much-needed break from all the online dating fuckery. I deleted the dating apps and focused on my own sanity. After all of this Covid shit is over, I am in no rush to date anyone. Going on dates isn’t difficult; it’s the dealing with the frauds, phonies, mentally-ill, married, ghosters, and lying d-bags that gets exhausting. I’m over it and it’s ok if I stay alone for the rest of my days. I’d rather be alone than deal with all the nonsense out there.🤷🏻‍♀️

I remember when I came across Matthews videos about 2 years ago when my ex broke up with me and stumbling across his "breakup" videos. I still watch his videos... But I watch them now from a place after post break up, then going on a bunch of dates and meeting a zillion people... But now I am just so happy being single and doing my thing (covid environment or not) and I really think I would not be in the spot I'm in, with the wisdom I have without the help from Matt's videos. I'm sure I'll date again one day when I'm ready to do that again but right now I just have so much gratitude for having someone like Matt to be able to help me find some of the self reflection I really needed to hear when I felt so low during the hard times when I wasn't so content. THANKS MATTY. 🥰

When life has has left you feeling like the only person left on Earth sometimes, you just wanna turn off your brain forever. It's hard to not have bad thoughts, hard to not think the worst of people, and to feel like the world don't care about you. Guys like this can give advice all day but this guy isn't getting turned down. Billions of us alive, I can't imagine we all matter in the end, some of us just don't get a good hand. That's the way of the world. The world doesn't care.

I love the fact that Matthew Hussey is soooo optimistic! That's something we all need these days. A lot of people (myself included, I'm 23) get sad and disappointed sometimes, and a lot of people are very impatient too.

Sorry, Matthew. I give up. After 51 years of searching, waiting, hoping and praying for the right one, I give up. I can’t keep believing in something that clearly isn’t showing up. Maybe it’s not in my plan from the universe to find love. It breaks my heart. 💔

Hey Matthew, I'm sorry that you have to deal with us frustrated, sometimes even bitter women all over the world but on the other hand - thank you! Thank you for not giving up and taking care of us. You're doing an amazing job. God knows it's not easy haha

I love to be curious about dating. Yes it's hard and awful and time wasting in one way, but I learn so much about myself, about communication, about people, about respect, about boundaries, about love, etc.. I take that back to my friends and we also grow in all those aspects. And I have a LOT of laughs! 😂

After a bad experience at 6months of my so called 'relatioship' I decided to stop loving completely but then i realized that, that is not who I am. I have always been a caring, loving person. I didn't want to let one man change that thing in me. So now I'm at a pitstop in my life. But I'm trying to eventually go out, flirt, smile attend gatherings and do things that make me, me before I met this guy. 🤞🏻 Fingers crossed

I've been single for the past 7 years, and I'm content with my life and close friends circle. Being a tactile person, going out latin dancing every week helps a lot. Tho due to lockdown, no dancing or seeing friends, so just enjoying myself at home and working on myself.

I was someone who was ALWAYS dating, constantly searching for the one. Now I've come completely to peace with the thought of being single very least until the covid vaccine comes out, since I hate video chat dates. And I've never felt so much liberation before from just allowing myself to be single ♥️

Thanks for this amazing video Matthew!!! I feel like life in general is more than dating and men and finding "the one". Life should be about having as many memories and experiences and little regrets. It's about finding interesting people and having interesting conversations. I gave up on dating and men a long time ago but what I love about you Matthew is that you really try to help and uplift women regardless of their relationship status. I love this video!

"Never go in search of love. Go in search of life. And life will find you the love you seek" After going through my breakup I read one of Matthew Husseys books and took his advice to progress as a person as my way to heal. Part of that was going to improv classes - which is where I met my current boyfriend lol. Life found me the love I sought and have every confidence it can do the same for everyone 😊

True! Dating has become a chore

#5 Really hit me... I almost had to sit down and hold my tears back. One day this will all be worth it

We are never alone. We have ourselves. The animals. The numbers. The sky. We have the music.

Oh Matt... I feel you heard me yesterday, after another failed first date, saying “I’m tired of this now. I don’t want to meet anybody”. Thank you for the pep talk and the motivational words. I’m so grateful you use your talent to support and empower people. What you do makes a difference in my life. May your future be pure radiance ✨

Thanks Matthew. You help me grow every day as a better person. I'm so proud of the changes I made, your videos have been there all the time guiding me through my ups and downs. Now I'm more open to meet new people, I can give without feeling frustrated (most of the time) I compliment people and guys I like without feeling vulnerable or waiting for a feedback... but most importantly, thanks to you I learned to chose.

I just don't have the energy anymore

Do not give up on Love! There are ways of getting it!

I gave up, and it was the best decision to make. It's relieving to stop thinking of a necessity to have another person in my life. There's no place, no time, no energy for somebody else. I recently turned 30 and I've never felt better about all this finding a partner idea.

Throughout the arc of the pandemic and quarantine, dating has evolved. At first, it was put on hold by many older adults who worried about their health and virus exposure, but as COVID-19 has lingered people are eager to connect. However, many are still navigating that first in-person contact, how to get beyond video chatting and how to safely move ahead with sexual activity.

MY problem is I fall in love with people who aren't in love with me. Then the very few that "wanted" me were people I did not want to be around at all. It's so frustrating and I hate it. =P

This really helped me. I was seeing a guy for a couple months- a genuinely nice man. However he was open about his intimacy issues and eventually he said he needed to figure them out alone. He was extremely open and put in effort so I was pretty let down. However it’s good for me to remember that I didn’t waste the affection and care I put into that situation. I did it because I wanted to give. Not because I should expect him to reciprocate.

Giving that energy is also very draining -- especially when it's not reciprocated. But doing so with no concern for the outcome is absolutely doable. And you're right about this. [6:00]

Correct or correct?...It's when you give up on dating and literally move nonchalant that's when your dating life gets into a whole new level you was hoping for.

It’s like this video is made for me...

I am crying while watching this video and allowing myself to be vulnerable and stay strong again

Matthew you have added such incredible wisdom to my life. You have put in words what I have been feeling. 4 yeas ago I got out of a second abusive marriage. I stuck around for 36 years. But had built a very successful teaching career and my own friends along the way. I am part of many volunteer activities in my community and all this kept me going. But you have put it all so eloquently here. I know I am a risk taker and love new challenges. Now I appreciate my own space and can include people when I want. Thanks for all your wisdom!

I’m so there now Matthew! 🙄 think it harder when you were with someone say for 12yrs and then you seperate.. dating is so exhausting now!! Here we go again!!

“No available dates and times” to speak with someone. Must not be “my time” and I’m happy for those who’s time is now. Would someone tell me the cost of the virtual retreat? Stay safe everyone! 🌞🇨🇦

I’m 49 and I haven’t dated since 2008 I was 36 about to turn 37 when I gave up. I have no plans to ever date again. I literally have not touched a woman kissed a woman or held hands let alone anything else. I just have horrible trust issues so I just quit and never looked back

A lot of the motivational speakers that I have been listening to recently talk about the value of "progress." If you feel like you are making progress that can keep you going toward the ultimate goal. The "activation energy" that you generate will hopefully keep you going. Also, if you volunteer for a worthy cause, it can have a dual purpose. You may meet a caring person also looking for a mate and if you don't at least you have done some good in this crazy world!!! 😁

You have to love yourself first before loving anyone else! When you're comfortable in your own skin you attract people who appreciate for who you are! xxx

Dude I'm loosing motivation all together, not just dating!

Matt is a rare jewel - so genuinely deep, mindful, and generous with his ideas. Really wish there were more people like him, or it just inspires me to seek them out there. Perhaps that's just it, "saying no to the wrong people" sooner - that opens up your attention/energy to finding more suitable people (romance or no).

That's exactly right. With career goals, health goals and any other personal goal it feels like effort that'll result in progress, but with meeting people, whenever things go left field with someone, you're right back to square one. Progress with one person doesn't do anything to create progress with the next person, because people are so different. What I'm learning is to take breaks whenever my energy feels depleted (I'm an introvert to a T), and maybe the next time instead of jumping straight into dating I'll be more sociable. That's at least progress I can monitor. Then maybe after that I'll feel a little less shy about the possibility of meeting someone who might not be the one, because I've met so many people for the sake of meeting people already

Thank you for your positive energy, Matt! I feel like this is what I needed to hear...

I'm crying right now, don't even know why...

I've come to terms and accepted the fact that there is no one out there for me. I gave up completely on my birthday. Even though I still get lonely, i just think of all the crap I went through with previous relationships and all the tears and frustrations I experienced then I start again at appreciating single life.

This video was inspired in my opinion. It's clear how much care and thought you all put into it by the explanation at the end--you're right, Matthew, the world wasn't ready for this message 6 months ago. I certainly wasn't. Thank you for the brief tribute to Anthony Bourdain. His "dating the world" approach to life touched my own life in a profound way, and, to be honest, it makes me trust your advice that much more to hear you draw on Bourdain's memory and words. Also, #5 is going to stick with me for a while to come, and it's what prompted me to write this extended comment, which is something I very rarely do. Thank you for these beautiful reminders to live life to the fullest with humility and gratitude.

Really been feeling this way the last few weeks..years..

All this is well and dandy, but what if ur chances of even getting a date are less than 5%. It makes you feel like a loser that’s unwanted, and makes you believe you have to settle with that one person that gave you a shot, even if they’re a crappy individual. At this point I just don’t see a point to keep berating myself anymore by always being rejected. This world sucks

Bourdain is the man! I love that metaphor of him dating the world. You’re very eloquent. Also, I have a ton of respect for Bourdain’s deep passion for food. He was a joy to watch

I’m happy by myself I was married at one time. Been there done that. I still believe men can be loving/loyal. I’ll look when the time is right. My poodle is my low maintenance cuddle buddy. Yes he barks back lol.

as far as I’m concerned,dating for me being single all my life at 60 years old never married and have no kids,if no women seen me attractive enough to be a husband while I was in my prime years between 21-45 years old,I haven’t gotten any better looking so why try find a woman now for a potential future wife when I’m old enough to be a grandpa,I never considered myself as a handsome looking man and I’m 5’ 6” tall so that right off the start women ain’t interested in me no matter what kind of personality I have,so I decided I’m gonna stay single the rest of my life and ask God what exactly was my purpose on this earth besides being alone, I tried many times to find a woman I would be proud to marry and call her “My Wife” but I guess I’m not husband material and nowadays why bother getting married when 90% of marriages after 7-10 years end up in divorce,makes me wonder why I was even born bcuz my life has been nothing but a WASTE of time and a struggle

Being Gen X I was lucky enough to spend most of my youth without online dating and social media. I met actual people out and about and at parties and through friends and we never went on dates. We just hung out as friends for awhile and then realized we really liked each other and became boyfriend and girlfriend. After my divorce in my mid 40s I entered the dating scene again and felt like I was airdropped into a foreign land.

I am forty ,a single mother , I lost three stone .I am in the best shape I have been ever .I get attention but I am tired and promised myself that I would never join a dating site no longer looking.. It will happen for me if it is suppose to,if not I am cool with that to.

He is like the hot guy friend we go to when we need advice.

I have given up dating. Its impossible to find someone now.

There is so much growth happening with you Matthew. You are growing. Your aura is so peaceful and clean. You are healing and growing and I can feel it. Good for you 🙂. Your content is also moving up in the realm of depth and wisdom. You have always been great at what you do but, recently , you are becoming phenomenal and that is so beautiful to watch

Someone give this man a hug And tell him he's loved and it so calming to observe the person he is when he speaks his heart out ❤️ and there's just so many lovely humans in this world wauu

I’ve been a widow for 3 years after being in a good marriage with a soulmate for 27 years. The 50+ dating pool seems like the island of misfit toys. We’re all broken in some way or we wouldn’t be single now. I’m trying to think of dating as just meeting new people, at least making some new friends, but most of the time I’d rather just join a book club or a photography class. At least I know I’ll have fun and meet decent people who don’t just want to hook up.

Haha I wish I actually had a dating life that so I can actually think of giving up dating 😅🤣😂

Anthony Bourdain inspired the way I aspire to travel & I love that notion that he “dated the world”! I kick off my Christmas holiday season by watching Elf every year & no matter what’s going on everything seems better afterwards! It’s so damn funny 😆 Thanks Matthew this is the hopeful spark I needed & although we’re not allowed to travel freely I’m starting to plan some trips 🙏🏾✈️🏟🗼🥐🍷🍝

Using tinder was one of most fun filled activities. I've learned so much about people's needs, their appearance, how to talk to have a good time. I had really good time because I thought that since I am potentially speaking with the love of my life, I can relax already and speak in such manner. And I have found a human that was on the exact same note as me with that approach. So we started a fulfilling relationship right away through an app 💚

I would be so happy if I managed to get a date. That would be progress for me. I'm an introverted guy, who got dumped from a six years relationship this spring. I pulled myself together and feel ready for the dating scene. But all theses apps are draining me. Short conversation that I end up getting ghosted in. Long conversations where the girl doesn't wanna meet up. Not even in a Skype call. If I just got one date, that could end up horrible, I would see that as a huge win for me now. Cause right now, am pretty close to just give up for awhile.

It's still covid matt :(

Honestly, too tired to think of dating anymore. 42 and single is not where I thought I'd be but I need to look after me and not worry about what someone else thinks of me or whether they want to be with me or not anymore. Its hard enuff dealing with life in a pandemic, without putting energy into dating as well. Have to be content with day to day.

Needed this recently, been feeling incredibly lonely and struggling with dating, will use these tips!

Yes Every guy seems to be narcissistic

Men in their 20s and early 30s shouldn't date or have a serious relationship, focus on your goals and aspirations, chase your dreams not women

Adding to my below comment, let's take a moment to appreciate the beauty of this man. Like damn Mathew you keep getting finer with time. The look you have at the end of the video is so 😍😍😍

I don't know if I would have heard this the same way when you originally recorded it, but there is something about this that feels timeless. I've always told people I listen to dating coaches because ALL relationships are improved by working on my interpersonal skills. I want to thank you for giving me more reasons to listen. This one stopped me in my tracks today!

I was staying at my brother's place after my divorce and trying to pick up the pieces of my life and psyche after years of abuse. My brother told me that I needed to develop RBF (resting B face) in order to deter shady dudes, and yes, that would certainly do the job, but it would also deter everyone else. At the end of the day, I had to decide who I wanted to be no matter how someone else treated me, and the reality is that there are plenty of users out there who cannot be trusted, but we don't have to become just like them. Staying friendly in an unfriendly world is an act of defiance. Sometimes we have to live contrary to what we have been through and not let it shape who we are.

Thank you for this inspiration! I am quite introvert and living and dating in Switzerland where people are very reserved anyways... dating def. Is not easygoing. But you inspired me just to go on, doing things i enjoy and be open for what is coming

You are genuinely the first dating coach I've come across online that actually has useful advice

Really powerful. I needed to hear that last part. Staying positive is key. I started losing weight in May (20 so far) for my cycling. I have good and bad days. For me, I struggle with internalizing rejection. I'm getting better... that's the key.

As I watch this I literally cry. I am so tired of dating. I have never had a real boyfriend who really love me for who I am. The only guy who was close to me was harrassing me, and then I never found any guy ever since. It's been 7 years I never even have a boyfriend. I thought dating apps (Tinder) would work, but most guys ghosted me though I have TRIED so hard to be a positive person everytime I meet them. I have levelled up my game in dating: by improving the way I look, the way I talk and even they way I approach. But romance seems to be impossible for me to experience. Dating is so tiring for me mentally and physically. I don't know what should I do. My heart is breaking.

Interesting thoughts. I’m definitely in this space right now. Dating has never been easy but modern dating culture just like so many other things has just made it easier to expose the worst of human nature. Too many people are just left jaded and resentful of the process and the opposite sex or just the opposite person. It’s like 50 times bitten 1 million times shy. In psychological terms it’s called learned helplessness. Your natural instinct is to try but the more you try and fail the more you stop trying as a protection mechanism from feeling failure, happens with Dogs, happens with people who can’t find work etc

I really needed this video today to convince me to get on dating apps. I feel so negative about them, then conflicted after agreeing with Logan Urys comments about them in her book (which I thought was fab) and now I’m in the middle of wanting them but convincing myself to wait longer. Im such a hesitator, but I have decided I want to put myself out there slowly and this video helped me to realise that. Thanks

You find love the second you're about to give up and think there's no one out there for you. Keep going and don't give up!

I love your words of wisdom Matthew! I always feel dejected after spending time to get dressed up and go out only for the night to be a flop. Really needed to hear this advice