'Real friends are useless': Arthur Brooks on true happiness and goals for your tomorrow

Рет қаралды 473,133

Күн бұрын

A Harvard professor teamed up with TV icon Oprah Winfrey to help people find true happiness in life. Arthur Brooks sits down one-on-one with Stephanie Ruhle to talk about his new book, “Build the Life You Want.”
» Subscribe to MSNBC: on.msnbc.com/SubscribeTomsnbc
Follow MSNBC Show Blogs
MaddowBlog: www.msnbc.com/maddowblog
ReidOut Blog: www.msnbc.com/reidoutblog
MSNBC delivers breaking news, in-depth analysis of politics headlines, as well as commentary and informed perspectives. Find video clips and segments from The Rachel Maddow Show, Morning Joe, The Beat with Ari Melber, Deadline: White House, The ReidOut, All In, Last Word, 11th Hour, and Alex Wagner who brings her breadth of reporting experience to MSNBC primetime. Watch “Alex Wagner Tonight” Tuesday through Friday at 9pm Eastern.
Connect with MSNBC Online
Visit msnbc.com: on.msnbc.com/Readmsnbc
Subscribe to the MSNBC Daily Newsletter: MSNBC.com/NewslettersKZfaq
Find MSNBC on Facebook: on.msnbc.com/Likemsnbc
Follow MSNBC on Twitter: on.msnbc.com/Followmsnbc
Follow MSNBC on Instagram: on.msnbc.com/Instamsnbc
#msnbc #arthurbrooks #oprah

Пікірлер: 844

@AlisVolatPropiis 10 ай бұрын

“Real friends are useless” means that the friendship doesn’t benefit you in a materialistic or transactional way. Hence, not a transactional friendship. Real friendship is about emotional support, honesty, and intimacy, or as he said, love. I’m blessed to have real friends and this is a great reminder to renew these relationships 🥰

@AlisVolatPropiis 10 ай бұрын

@@rafaelw8115 because it’s unconditional

@g6ter1 10 ай бұрын

@@rafaelw8115 don't have to be so literal. point is not to think "what do I get out of this person" as a basis for friendship.

@MJLOVEnow 10 ай бұрын

@@rafaelw8115It’s more about how these relationships make you FEEL, not what you “get”, and honestly, it’s when we’re giving more than we’re receiving that it really feels the most fulfilling and therefore, happy. 😁

@commonsense3921 9 ай бұрын

True happiness isn’t dependent on anyone, Loving yourself will put you in a state of happiness because it’s the only thing you can control.

@18_rabbit 9 ай бұрын

@@MJLOVEnow seems close, but actually misses the boat entirely: the whole point of friendship is there's no sense of whether we're giving/receiving at all, the discourse /interaction simply flows without any tension. I have a lifelong acqutainance who has always been a pill, and he';s gotten infinitely worse over midlife. He sees and operates w/ ppl as transactions even though he puts on a front of "empathy" which is 100% false.

@calidreams5379 10 ай бұрын

Real friends are the “useless” people in your life. The one that doesn’t have materialistic things to offer or connections that are helpful for one’s career, the one you just enjoy spending time with. Too often people “connect” or move on based on “transactional value”. Time and even relationships have become commodities.

@helenaville5939 8 ай бұрын

Yes. Even the term "friends with benefits" is a much used term these days. I have always disliked it.

@maha-madpedo-gayphukumber1533 8 ай бұрын

Love,Friendship and realation just have become just another comodity in this consumerism,capitalist, individualistic and materialistic world. This diseases came from west and we lost collectivity, unity, traditional family values ,family love, and genuine frendship।

@aparnamujumdar5144 7 ай бұрын

well said!

@SurpriseMeJT 4 ай бұрын

@hcatapang186 Shared burden is needed less and less, especially for knowledge.

@jane_7193 6 ай бұрын

I love my dog. I truly really love him so much it fills my heart and makes me happy.

@happygrandma2732 6 ай бұрын

Having a pet is a very fulfilling and adds much love to your life. Love without conditions is the only love worthwhile.

@jane_7193 6 ай бұрын

@@spotonnls3538 no, he does not. Dogs that are not well looked after bark when once again left alone staring the walls 24/24. I am committed to looking after my dog and seeing his needs are met.

@ah3738 6 ай бұрын

Oh dogs are so great. They are little happiness machines 😊😊😊

@jane_7193 6 ай бұрын

@@ah3738 so true, all creatures are

@paulacaffey6026 10 ай бұрын

By far, one of the BEST, most relevant discussions I’ve listened to in AGES. And it made total sense to me. Bless you both - and kudos to MSNBC for giving 12 minutes of airtime to a discussion unrelated to politics.

@StevenCudnoch-oo9gp 8 ай бұрын

Following the sheep to keep the cotton and money rolling

@createone100 6 ай бұрын

Check out talks by David Brooks. They are so much better.

@matthewcuomo765 6 ай бұрын

00:04:15 Thus you have to pay the extortionate tuition fee, among other efforts, first before they reverse the script and tell you as a member of society what they've been motivating you to do since kindergarten is useless all along. Sounds like society is sacked by irrelevant narcissists that pollute all levels. This is precisely the reason why a person doesn't authority for no reason. These types of costs.

@karsten9895 6 ай бұрын

This guy is a shady salesman and a neo-conservative (he has the same old capitalist drivel in stock to sell as well - this is political!). Just some rebranding of known trivia and confusing terminology, like defining 'true friendship' as the opposite of how the whole world used to understand this term. I don't trust anyone promoted by Oprah. The hole self-help industry is a scam anyway.

@LordGreystoke 26 күн бұрын

It’s called self-help and it’s a billion dollar industry

@kiddywriter 7 ай бұрын

Real friends are very hard to come by…so if you have one you are a very lucky person.

@filrabat1965 10 ай бұрын

My formula is: Pursue truth no matter how unpleasant it is. If your happiness is based on errors, it will collapse sooner or later; see the flashy and photogenic lifestyles and personality as the blind, mindless, cultish worship of imagery over content; be satisfied with minimal material and social needs; ultimately you are your own best friend; have a strong sense of what justice and fairness are (reduces chances of exploitation by others) last but not least - help, heal, and uplift those in most need of it.

@makeracistsafraidagain 10 ай бұрын

I’m happy because I’ve been married to the same woman for over 40 years.

@eddenoy321 10 ай бұрын

Sounds good to me

@AlwaysAwesome001 10 ай бұрын

😇👍

@Peter-jo6yu 10 ай бұрын

Wonderful. That's a treasure you have

@Gabedudley1 10 ай бұрын

Is her name Karen by chance?

@picholoup 10 ай бұрын

@@Gabedudley1envious much??😋

@elinannestad5320 8 ай бұрын

'Friends will always let you down" : my mother. It sounds miserable but it is the opposite - it frees you from disappointment and bitterness. There will always be times when you think you need something, and your friend is going some other way.

@acdude5266 10 ай бұрын

The self help industry is a gaslighting mess.

@TheMisterGriswold 9 ай бұрын

it's ridiculous all you need is stoic philosophy wisdom of the ages

@jungersrules 9 ай бұрын

"If I had a prayer, it would be this: 'God spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.'" ~Byron Katie. This quote changed my life forever. My anxiety plummeted, and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. We run into problems when we expect other people, especially friends/family, to treat us a certain way. We cannot look to others for peace, happiness. Side note: I only heard Byron Katie on Oprah's radio show years back. It's too bad she didn't have her back on. I think it's too much for a lot of people. We are so addicted to suffering that we think we must suffer or there is something wrong with us. It's the other way around, but most of us don't see life this way.

@klnrklnr4433 9 ай бұрын

hmm, sounds like you may want to look in buddhism. covers these topics in depth.

@grealish2234 8 ай бұрын

Her books are very good . The work especially

@ayesha8809 7 ай бұрын

Without love, approval and appreciation, a baby wouldn't survive. None of us would be here.

@sassygal4727 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing this❤

@MichaelDamianPHD 6 ай бұрын

Lot of nonsense. Most people don't walk around anguished about getting/not getting others' approval or affection.

@centerforheartconsciousliv9154 9 ай бұрын

It's all about Love. Love, Light and Life are all the same frequency. If you are in the frequency of love, you will also be happy because you are filled with LIGHT and LIFE. Friends, relatives, faith all bring that out in us, teaching us to love unconditionally until one day we are able to look at ourselves and achieve full unconditional SELF LOVE. That's what this is really about. Thanks for a great 12 minutes!

@Pulse2AM 10 ай бұрын

I go for a 2 or 3 mile walk every day, I never take my phone but I see a lot of people on my walk glued to theirs. I use it to clear my head, go over what I want to do that day and just take in the day. There's an author Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. that I read when I was going through a failed engagement after 8 years of dating. It's really a great series of books that if you're interested in why we hook up with the one we do and why we often fail and also how to hopefully keep it together with the one you love.

@rikfriday6079 10 ай бұрын

I have no cell phone. When I walk down the street, if a stranger standing next to me picks up their ringing phone, I always say, “If that’s for me, tell them I’m not here.”

@Pulse2AM 10 ай бұрын

@@rikfriday6079 I just bought my first cell phone this year and ONLY because our laundry room machines require an app to pay for laundry! Otherwise I probably wouldn't have bought it, I have no cell service and don't plan on getting any either.

@luismiguel69able 10 ай бұрын

Well ... think your better than those ppl isnt helping.

@vicadegboye684 9 ай бұрын

I just ordered 2 of his books on Amazon based on your recommendation. I hope they will be good

@Pulse2AM 9 ай бұрын

@@vicadegboye684 They are good, it's a lot to take into account and can be hard in practice. They did help me heal after a devistating break up.

@cg2642 10 ай бұрын

This guy really is like: "my students tell me what makes them happy, and I tell them they are wrong." He rejects the idea that different people have different things that makes them happy. He says satisfaction comes through struggling to accomplish something, but for many people that's not a satisfying feeling, that's just doing something hard that they need to do to survive or keep a job, and happiness for them might come from taking time to clear their mind so they can reflect and recharge. He says happiness comes from interacting with people, but for people who have been abused all their life trying to forge interactions with people might be overwhelmingly stressful with no tangible benefits in sight. I agree that his assessment of what corporate media has told us we need to pursue to make us happy is problematic. But his rejection of what different people might need to make them happy is problematic. For some, following this guy's recommendations would make them stressed out and miserable.

@Pulse2AM 10 ай бұрын

Therapy, I can vouch for that. I come from an abusive family and was abused and abandoned as a child and teen. Granted some may not respond to therapy or meds, that is sad but it does happen.

@timages 10 ай бұрын

I couldn't agree more, I don't find anything he says that's enlightening or makes happiness more attainable.

@lisabluecurls 10 ай бұрын

Agree. Some of us don't have much family left to call. Some of us have been betrayed by "real friends" and find it challenging to make new friends, especially as we age. He makes it sound simple and reductionist. It sounds like his research was done solely in the ivory tower of Harvard. Not with large samples of people from throughout the population and various cultures. Of course Oprah would be drawn to this type of pop psychology.

@jessicaheger1880 10 ай бұрын

I'd like to encourage you all to expand your ideas of what qualifies as family and friends; family might be chosen rather than biological and friends don't have to be human. Jane Goodall would certainly call the gorillas she worked with friends, and quite nearly family even. Joy can come from genuine earthling interactions across species, such as a pet cat or dog. Therapy dogs are real. In fact, caring for an animal can fulfill most of the items on his checklist if you really try to listen to the animal and connect with it and take care of it; it's a real friend, not just a deal friend.

@user-ly4sq5uc5f 10 ай бұрын

This is not a criticism of you, cg2642, just an observation. Everybody always blames "the corporate media," and I get that. They shape our conversations. But isn't that happening here, with Brooks talking about the book? Just a thought. I agree that some people need challenges to overcome and make some big or personal difference. I would ask if the relief of completing any task results in happiness, vs. doing the task. And interacting with people for a form of happiness? When was the last time you had an interaction with somebody who wasn't thinking of something else or in a rush? Asking for a friend.

@gilenasimons7081 10 ай бұрын

As a Taoist, I applaud this book and agree with all four of the principles of happiness as discussed. Amen. 🇬🇧

@myndgodandpsyche 10 ай бұрын

Amen is for Christianity

@AlwaysAwesome001 10 ай бұрын

Goober. Goober.

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

@@AlwaysAwesome001 Goober, goober, yourself.

@leoniedejong9549 10 ай бұрын

I would say, put it in a time capsule, so that humanity that comes after us, because we are lost since we let it slip away, can use this as a guideline in developing their society. For now this only for the happy few.

@AlwaysAwesome001 10 ай бұрын

@@leoniedejong9549 👆👆 Slipping away? 🤔 You speak fluent cowardness. ✅ 🇺🇸 hasn't even begun to flex its muscle on this EVIL. 🇺🇸💕😇👍

@Eric-zo8wo 10 ай бұрын

0:39: 😊 Happiness is not a feeling, but something more tangible than feelings. 2:45: ! The video discusses the defeatist checklist of things that would make someone happy, and emphasizes that happiness is a direction, not a destination. 4:54: 💡 The importance of having real friends and not just transactional relationships. 7:33: ! The importance of love, diversity, and human connection in a technologically-driven world. 9:35: 💡 The importance of having real friends and staying in touch with family. Recap by Tammy AI

@eldenringer6466 10 ай бұрын

🤩

@wolke1955 10 ай бұрын

❤

@tringuyen7519 10 ай бұрын

Curses can become blessings & blessings become curses with time & perspective. Life is cumulative. You tend to remember the struggles more than the triumph.

@FUJA-b3o 10 ай бұрын

Faith, family, friends and work that serves others

@barefootincactus 6 ай бұрын

Except if our family sucks

@Kentavious444 9 ай бұрын

My wife and I are quite literally polar opposites on just on everything. Must be love, we've been together for 33yrs!

@Cutlerypotato 3 ай бұрын

That or you make really good money

@susansmiles2630 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for having this great guest on. I have had a great deal of pain and loss, in m long life, but It is the Core of my Spiritual Being that has kept me happy in spite of it all.. I just had a triple bypass heart surgery three days ago and I feel great because I am plugged into my Source. I am NOT religious, but totally Spiritual. There are no borders or boundaries to Love; truly, LOVE is Infinite! You CAN choose to be happy if you are willing to drop your cynicism and envy in Life!

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for bringing these things to light many people forget that the basics are called basics because the basics for a reason.

@gilenasimons7081 10 ай бұрын

Buddha’s eightfold path contains right action, right speech and right occupation. Totally in alignment with this conversation. Amen. 🇬🇧

@Queenofcore 10 ай бұрын

Oh my goodness. I really wish people would listen to this man. This is something I ave been saying for literally years.

@rosaliebent4833 10 ай бұрын

"real friends are useless..." so awesomely true. My best friend is as close as anyone could be and yet... totally useless.

@myfriendgoo2816 10 ай бұрын

Same here. Funny how that works.

@Gabedudley1 10 ай бұрын

Because democrats are conformed into narcissist. Almost impossible for them to have lasting relationships

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

How can you define an authentic relationship as useless? I know, the Professor is talking about "useless" friends in a material sense...they can't help you get a job, introduce you to your dream date, or loan you money when you're hard up, but they make a real difference in your life.

@user-iv2xl6ud1r 10 ай бұрын

Wild generalizations like these--even if they are actually well expressed--are useless. You need to let go of your obvious contempt for people who do not share your political views.@@Gabedudley1

@Gabedudley1 10 ай бұрын

@@user-iv2xl6ud1r everything they call trump is merely a projection of themselves. Its beyond obvious at this point.

@davidbiddle3257 10 ай бұрын

What a great guy, and message!

@mwmnmwm 10 ай бұрын

What about people who are only happy when left alone to do their own single person activities? I'm only happy when left alone to do my own thing, ALONE. We're all different.

@op3129 10 ай бұрын

I get that. *_this guy in the video never talked to people like you (or me ... ) bc we'd never participate in a group study._* bc "group." his results are garbage - self-selecting OUT people like you (and me ... ) you be you. the guy in the video is wrong. it's YOUR life.

@Alz98 10 ай бұрын

Have you ever considered that that is not healthy, and perhaps something you need to work on?

@GatorEE 10 ай бұрын

I'm much happier doing things alone too. Being around others all the time only drains me and diminishes my quality of life.

@mwmnmwm 10 ай бұрын

@@Alz98 I'm the only one who holds MY fishing pole, though MY knowledge comes thru the overall collective. But only I alone can use the learned skills to become a real tangential event in my journey through this life. GLHF

@op3129 10 ай бұрын

@@Alz98 have YOU ever considered that not everyone needs outside validation? and that perhaps that's something you need to work on? my stars, _DO YOU NOT EVEN HEAR HOW NEEDY YOU ARE?!?_

@tikkas1203 2 күн бұрын

I just love this Professor. 😊

@talisha5863 10 ай бұрын

What a beautiful interview…..thanks for this👏🏽

@rajguleria3862 8 ай бұрын

The most Profound line ....'REAL FRIENDS ARE USELESS' ....YOU ARE WITH THEM FOR THE LOVE OF THEM & NOT TO GAIN ANYTHING MATERIALISTIC ...! .......A very deep deep line indeed !

@zer0set721 10 ай бұрын

Ya, funny thing about all this: I grew up in an era and a place where, as youth, we were told to pursue our lives in a way that would make us happy. So, when we did society called us Slackers and Lazy and actually harmful to society because we were creating a path for ourselves that fell outside the 'NORMS' of how to be and adult and responsible, etc. It takes Oprah to co-sign some Harvard professor, who is using concepts that were poo-poo'd by western civilization (concepts from Buddhism and from Eastern cultures or just non-western civilization, ie white folks) to bring these simple ideas into the "NORM"?? Funny how these things go. Yes, the western world is sooooo superior to everything else... hahahahahahahahahaha

@atanamorell2 10 ай бұрын

You could not be more right.

@michaelarnold7503 10 ай бұрын

Yes. It is ridiculous that very old concepts are repackaged and presented as profound, new revelations.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

@@michaelarnold7503their new because people haven't thought of them before the people that can learn from this pretty novel if you think about

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Why fight it when it works. The best part is that it's being brought to light here in what we call Western civilization.

@BoomboomMancini-cb1xh 10 ай бұрын

@@williampride6008they're or they are. Dummy

@eddrupz1805 7 ай бұрын

Respect to Arthur for making it through talking to her for 45 minutes before the interview and respect to her for recognizing the burden of that.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Not only do we need to interact with people in person like they're explaining, but what happens during the first four minutes of contact has something to do with what happens in your mind every 4 seconds as well. The mind is a terrible thing to waste but an easy thing to invest in.

@xizheng8548 7 ай бұрын

I have a friend who is neither a real friend nor a deal friend. Spend a lot of time together and totally useless. Only takes takes takes and almost no giving at all. I’be decided to keep it a nice distance going forward and be at peace with it. 😇

@Morgan313 5 ай бұрын

That person is not a friend at all. That person is a taker.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

I don't feel like I suffered that much now thank you for the book. Irreplaceable.

@gregparrott 10 ай бұрын

Given that Harvard is where some of the most extreme right wing congressmen received their education, what went wrong?

@americansagainsttrump1337 8 ай бұрын

THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE BECAUSE OF STEPHANIE RUHLE AND HER AMAZING SHOW. WHAT A POWERFUL SEGMENT TO HAVE DURING THE TIME OF YEAR WHEN FOLKS START TO TAKE STOCK OF THEIR LIVES.

@gilenasimons7081 10 ай бұрын

Ty for this powerful and meaningful episode. I agree with everything said about happiness. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🇬🇧

@Gabedudley1 10 ай бұрын

Yes narcissist dont have real friends. Thats why its for the viewers

@picholoup 10 ай бұрын

@@Gabedudley1Troll! 😂😂😂

@Gabedudley1 10 ай бұрын

@@picholoup says the troll. Programmed to project. You dont even realize it do you? Narcissist never do

@AS-kf1ol 7 ай бұрын

As soon as someone says "friends and family" are the answer to happiness the grain of salt im taking them with gets even smaller.

@future-75 5 ай бұрын

Faith, family, friends, work that serves others. If there are no family/friends, well, he doesn't say that the 4 things are equally weighted. I think it depends on the person and life circumstances. Having good Faith and good work would be at least half way there, and maybe lead to a lot more.

@trishhunt4085 10 ай бұрын

This approach is completely unrealistic for some people, like me. Yes, I have faith & friends, but I do not have any family, so calling someone everyday is not possible. And, I would love more than anything to have the job of my dreams, but realistically, I need a healthy paycheque to afford rent, food, transportation, insurance, etc, etc. I suppose I could do my dream job and live on the streets. Would that be true happiness? 🤷🏼‍♀️

@reason6835 10 ай бұрын

It’s nonsense anyway. What really makes this guy happy is selling more books. That’s the only reason he’s doing this interview.

@eddenoy321 10 ай бұрын

Your thinking is 100% spot on. Agree totally. I heard enough psychobabble to last 100 lifetimes.

@silkroadcaravan 10 ай бұрын

so, the suggestion is to work towards feeling satisfaction in whatever service you're able to do others.

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

@@reason6835 You ARE cynical. How many people have gotten to what they think is the pinnacle of success and then felt let down? A quote from David Bowie's song FAME...once you get there things are hollow.

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

@@eddenoy321 It's not psycho-babble. If you really think about it, what everyone really wants, once basic physical needs are met, is to be loved and to love, inclusive of, but not limited to, romantic love. We all want at least someone to be aware that we exist and appreciate the fact.

@timmaloney6441 10 ай бұрын

This man really had a lot to offer . a Great guest and it drives me Nuts when the Host wants to talk over the guest . I believe having Purpose is more important than "Happiness".

@susanjoy1501 6 ай бұрын

Over the years my real friends have died and it's so difficult to replace them. To be honest it's hard work. 'chi trova un amico/a trova un tesoro' translated from italian means ' he who finds a true friend finds a trasure' SO TRUE!

@lorraine6947 7 ай бұрын

I love Stephanie. Please keep your job!😊

@user-ur2wd8du4z 6 ай бұрын

All this work but not if you are poor and have actual survival problems.. " just pick a book tomorrow" is such a classist and privileged "tip for happiness"

@moumou3811 7 ай бұрын

This guy is correct. I have known it since I was very very young, I call it common sense. priceless.

@pattip1413 3 ай бұрын

I call it uncommon sense or the road less traveled. It works.

@henriqueanton3024 3 күн бұрын

Excellent interview! Both the interviewer and interviewee.

@ellentaylor4351 10 ай бұрын

Thank you, I know the loss of friends and the need for friends

@beatmydrum 6 ай бұрын

Arthur is the best! So glad he’s getting so much press!👏🏽👌🏽🥂

@savannahscarborough2171 10 ай бұрын

Lost me at "the smell of the turkey is evidence of Thanksgiving dinner." The smell of the turkey is evidence of carnage, and of a depraved culture that equates that with happiness.

@listrahtes 6 ай бұрын

See he made you face your own bias of hate and you weren't able to overcome it. He helped you, you are just too weak ,lost in agenda,to realize it.

@DNA350ppm 10 ай бұрын

In the conversation they just laid out why Finland is the happiest country in the world, without mentioning the country's name of course. Finland is famous for the sincere, serious, reliable, honest people, who make real friends and does it slowly, because family and old friends come first, and their silent church is their relationship with Nature, and they thrive in their special life-work balance, where their emphasis is on quality and being useful, more than status and bling. Finns are living the life they want and they don't want to exchange it for another - that is: most of them are happy with what they have, love, and are.

@Soistoi-meme 9 ай бұрын

Something fascinating… you said “life-work” balance. In the US, we say “work-life” - and that says everything about our priorities. I’m changing it from now on.

@DNA350ppm 9 ай бұрын

@@Soistoi-meme Oh, thanks a lot. I actually did it on purpose and I'm so glad you like it. Maybe more people will do it, too, I hope. - We work to live, not live to work, if it is not a life-purpose, of course, like Jane Goodall's or Rachel Carson's.

@gehasafras 10 ай бұрын

Oprah who is now worth billions, tells the rest of us money isn't important😅

@jamesbyrne9312 9 ай бұрын

Yep gaslighting

@jenniecaverley4781 9 ай бұрын

She would know...she's got loooots of money.

@Thomas-hl1go 9 ай бұрын

They certainly shouldn't say "it's not important"... but I think a rich person is well-placed to say, from experience, that money doesn't make you happy

@GrimDarkDude 8 ай бұрын

They didn’t say it’s not important, how you earn it is. Rewatch it silly goose

@JRspeaking 8 ай бұрын

@@GrimDarkDude Right! And this is coming from a Grim Dark Dude.😁

@williamhartman9 8 ай бұрын

Very impressed by her interviewing and his presentation. Both were great .

@JRspeaking 8 ай бұрын

I found her slightly annoying. 😊

@jeswilde6188 6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this, watched and decided to call my Aunt who I've been apart from for years because of political divide as it has taken a lot of families. Spoke just now for an hour and it was everything! ALL love! life is short call your family

@mackymintle7806 10 ай бұрын

“The religion of your youth” Well put.

@teresalegler2777 10 ай бұрын

Fantastic discussion and interview. Now I need to start making some phone calls!

@Gabedudley1 10 ай бұрын

Crazy Teresa called me last night going on and on about orange man bad 😂

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

@@Gabedudley1 Teresa's not THAT crazy.

@Gabedudley1 10 ай бұрын

@@mimsyborogove3906 anybody who tunes into msdnc state propaganda is either crazy or a proud commie

@AlwaysAwesome001 10 ай бұрын

@@mimsyborogove3906 Teresa is a dude! 🤣

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

@@AlwaysAwesome001it takes a Sane mind to recognize insanity.

@Lola-mt1ne 8 ай бұрын

Great show. The guest spoke well and not too slow or fast. I admire hosts who do it well.

@rubymendoza9525 10 ай бұрын

Thank you Arthur’s Brooks!

@lucianozaffaina9853 5 ай бұрын

Had a lot of real friends before watching this video. Then I told them they are completely useless. Now I have no real friends😢.

@termsofusepolice 10 ай бұрын

Nothing beats affluent people telling those living paycheck to paycheck that more money won't produce more happiness. 😂

@g6ter1 10 ай бұрын

after a certain point of financial success, its true. diminishing returns on happiness for the vast majority of people. Probably not a major diff in happiness between making $400k/yr vs $650k or going from $1MM to $2MM, a little for sure, but not like when you go from $20k/yr to $100k, a truly major shift.

@akshayde 10 ай бұрын

Yah but happiness is a spectrum. Lets say its like a linear number line. +10 is happiness and unhappiness is -10. If money gets you from -10 to 0 , you might think that thats happiness. I would say that it isn't. Its more like you have got to a place devoid of stress and problems and unhappiness by solving money issues and NOW you can move forward towards happiness.

@themaskedman221 9 ай бұрын

@@akshayde Yeah, but it's not linear at all. The happiness boost from $30k to $100k is much larger than the jump from $1 mill. to $2 mill. The thing is, nothing lasts forever not even happiness. People get bored with things, even money.

@akshayde 9 ай бұрын

@@themaskedman221 not at all what i was saying. And i doubt there is any change in happiness when you have 1 million in yiur bank and you get another milli

@themaskedman221 9 ай бұрын

@@akshayde Which is exactly what I just said.

@Golgibaby 10 ай бұрын

Real friends are not transactional. There is reciprocation in the being each other's presence.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Investing like Arthur Brooks is saying here is critical. Remember after you got those Christmas presents for that birthday present there was a little bit of a letdown afterwards. Same thing with all big successes. Even if you made ten billion dollars last year next year you'll want more. Materialism or do you have a soul. Serving others is critical. All the basics here are critical. As in achieving critical thinking and so much more.

@richardhusband3332 10 ай бұрын

Many people don't even have the material necessities. This is just Oprah hogwash.

@iMetaTV 10 ай бұрын

This is a Wisdom classneeded all school levels. We need this for a better america.

@81aherna 7 ай бұрын

I like this guy a lot. Seems genuine and i like his work.

@nicholashayes4081 10 ай бұрын

What he’s saying is so true!!

@gigiburke154 6 ай бұрын

I appreciate the conversation and the work that went into writing this book. The concepts presented are nothing new, just a new way presenting it that will land for people who need and want to learn it.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Thank you endlessly

@JP51ism 10 ай бұрын

“We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. All art is quite useless.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray [Re: real friends being "useless"]

@steffibaker6121 10 ай бұрын

I made the same connection!

@themaskedman221 9 ай бұрын

One of my favorite books (and authors).

@mulembo2 6 ай бұрын

Nobody and nothing make you happy. Happiness is You. Happiness is Life. Happiness is Living In the Moment.

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

I like Professor Brooks. I'd like to take a class with him.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

I loved it when Arthur said just like Grandma would have told you

@HazzyWazzey 7 ай бұрын

I’m sorry but having enough money to quit having to work for the corporate elite would provide society far more happiness than any of his points combined.

@JuicyLoux Ай бұрын

He presents his work very well, it’s trained. You can tell he practices what he teaches. He is the one of the most successful businessmen of our era. He’s successfully sold happiness. Usually when people sell, “self help” guides or biographies, they’re met with positive feedback and an equal negative response. His responses are more positive, I’d say 90/10. I’m glad to see people becoming more aware of their environments, experiences, growths etc

@logiclight 10 ай бұрын

Self checkouts are the antithesis of happiness.

@pattykelly6621 10 ай бұрын

Yes!

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

When you say "self checkouts," do you mean observing yourself and how you're doing by society's standards?

@GerryRR 10 ай бұрын

Speak for yourself - I like getting out of the store faster 😂

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

I'm too technological resistant to use those things, but I'm glad some people can.@@GerryRR

@ThatsJustMyBabyDaddy 10 ай бұрын

Love this!

@Rob_132 7 ай бұрын

Good interview 👍🏻 More of this on the news.

@richardwildlife88-wj6kl 9 ай бұрын

I used to be so popular in the 2000's and by 2010 was when I cut everyone off and disappeared. I will never have a useless friendship ever again. Either I gain something or we're moving on. I'm also willing to share with a person & help them, but, I'm not picking up problems and opening doors for people without receiving anything in return. I've changed lots of lives & opened plenty of doors with nothing in return and the worst, absolute WORST feeling is when they cut me off after I've lead them into that path. I'm not mad at them for it, I'm mad at myself for putting into someone that had nothing to offer me in return. People have smiled in my face and pretended to be my friend just so they cant take from me, and then turn into my enemy within a blink of an unsuspected eye. Moving forward, its all transactional. I'm not bitter, not resentful, not angry. I'm only disappointed in myself for not being an opportunist.

@NA-vt6mz 8 ай бұрын

Exactly

@AS-kf1ol 7 ай бұрын

The people I've dealt qith didn't maliciously use me BUT I get nothing from them and they get everything from me. I don't learn from them. I don't grow with them. They arent in positions to give me advice. They constantly want to trauma dump and get my advice but not take it. I guess they're cool and funny sometimes but I'm done with useless relationships. I have a huge family of people who offer me absolutely nothing but a nice meal and giggle. I'm not taking on anymore causes.

@sassygal4727 7 ай бұрын

Hi. This happens to me also . It is hard.

@Scottieguru 6 ай бұрын

Happiness is by definition an emotion.

@ligbzd837 10 ай бұрын

Very true! To be happy in life...just spend time with the people you love and those who love you. All other activities are to get income so you can feed yourself and your family.

@dagmarvandoren9364 6 ай бұрын

Frau Fuhle sieht naturlich aus....not to much face changes....

@gail9566 8 ай бұрын

Ive got no faith and no friends and didnt feel better when I had them. My faith was a trap and my friends talked about me behind my back. I dont need that.

@TremblingQualifier 7 ай бұрын

When it comes to work, it is better to be in person. The problem is there is a lot of “work” that is useless that occurs because people are in person trying to pretend and there is a commute issue. Furthermore, it is much harder to be yourself at work. So for a lot of people, remote and hybrid is more beneficial.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Family is the most underrated resource in most people's lives. Faith is a fickle thing for some. For many others thankfully it is just as easy as drawing the next breath there will be no conscious thought per-say required about said faith. Like the fish in the ocean you will be swimming and it. Kind of like you are now😅. With eyes ears arms hearts and minds wide open. You're already communicating it to yourself just tune it in a little bit.

@future-75 5 ай бұрын

i don't underrate family as a concept, but some families can't be spent time with if the person wants to pursue happiness, they have to drop family. Agree on the faith thing.

@williampride6008 5 ай бұрын

@@future-75 I agree with your words. The word family holds many meanings for many people. Obviously in my opinion you do not need to be related by marriage or blood to be a member of a family. My animal companions in this Walk of Life are the greatest family and friends, I've had the honor to share my life with. It's Justin in general because people often get used to their family and overlook them in many cases when their family could be the one to help them through something trivial or something major. But you are right family does not mean the same to everyone and certainly cannot be expected to. Here's to your family and your living spirits.

@Golgibaby 10 ай бұрын

Timestamp: 10:40 1) Are you truly earning your success? 2) Are you truly adding value with your life and helping others to lift them up?

@rainergro4055 10 ай бұрын

*Making happy makes happy❣️*

@davidbanjo2346 26 күн бұрын

Amazing dialog. wow!

@susydyson1750 10 ай бұрын

I noticed how he covered her hand when they shook hands at the end of the program

@orozcoaj69 10 ай бұрын

That’s an expression of care, respect and good regards 😊

@pattykelly6621 10 ай бұрын

Well, I have peace and contentment and gratitude and no friends. When I die, I wonder how long it will be before anyone notices.

@AlwaysAwesome001 10 ай бұрын

You babble a lot for not wanting to be noticed. 🤣

@mimsyborogove3906 10 ай бұрын

@@AlwaysAwesome001 She didn't say anything about not wanting to be noticed. Her lament is that she could die without being missed.

@GatorEE 10 ай бұрын

I feel your pain Patty.

@concessajean-marie5571 10 ай бұрын

Insightful & great interview!

@corujariousa 9 ай бұрын

Great segment! Thank you!

@allisone369 10 ай бұрын

These are the things we should be teaching our children way before an “education”. Teaching meditation and proper breathing techniques would help too. Our society is so backwards because we worship money over happiness.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Unagi... Spoken like a true self-aware happy and growing person thank you.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

Just the act of struggling to find happiness brings happiness. We make mistakes we succeed we cannot know one without the other. Time nor tides of the ocean will ever wait for mankind. Mother nature plays her tune and we attempt to listen. words are pale actions rule the Day. Your actions your day.

@williampride6008 10 ай бұрын

There are absolutely correct here in one smore is Faith requires you to embrace the uncomfortable as well as the heavenly. So take heed. Sometimes the uncomfortable can include family friends co-workers it's our duty and our responsibility to rise above every time. With the basic approaches that are being illustrated here and the ones that you will develop from applying these techniques you will live and begin to live Revelation in every breath. You will recognize your individuality and experienced a novel reality. Freedom whispers your name.

@KindlySo 10 ай бұрын

I am 72. How would I have gotten this far in my life without the grace of my dear friends and loved ones? I have an active friend from when I was four. I remember the day we met. We talked last Friday. I have a dear friend from age 14. We had lunch yesterday. I have a friend from age 16, we worked together at my first part time job. What an angel she is! I have another friend from age 18, we were out last Monday. Then there is my twin sister, who I have known since our egg split. Go on, fella. Real friends are NOT what you claim.

@mister_manager 10 ай бұрын

I think you may have misunderstood his point: he was saying that real friends are not our transactional relationships.

@janetmalcolm3403 10 ай бұрын

Good for you. You have loved ones around you. You truly don't need a book written by a Harvard professor and commercialized by Oprah.

@akshayde 10 ай бұрын

I don't think you watched the video

@alanc7772 8 ай бұрын

What would your advice be for someone who doesn't really feel comfortable with his own family and has trouble making friends? Thanks.

@akshayde 8 ай бұрын

@@alanc7772 well, therapy. "Comfort" is a vague term, an outcome term. so start therapy to help narrow down the issue to find out the cause and if its is them or you. Then take necessary steps, baby steps to begin with, to go towards the outcome you want.

@mirfir 9 ай бұрын

Faith, family, friends, purpose 😊❤ aka LOVE

@malatighosh9669 7 ай бұрын

Awesome talk!

@ravikurup8350 10 ай бұрын

Sometimes your friends will bring you down

@DHFrank 8 ай бұрын

This was really good. One of the best I’ve heard.

@susanharrison2941 10 ай бұрын

Excellent stuff. TY

@lazersly 10 ай бұрын

I love this!

@Umbrellagasm 6 ай бұрын

Real happiness also comes from being economically secure, but that message doesnt tend to play as well on feel good daytime talkshow segment

@rhondacosta160 6 ай бұрын

Full respect.

@MaryCloda-ju7xe 9 ай бұрын

So informative. Thank you

@alphabeta8403 9 ай бұрын

3:00 *Faith, family, friends and work that serves other people.*

@AliaStation 10 ай бұрын

Very interesting interview. Thank you!

@bdflatlander 6 ай бұрын

Completely agree with Brooks about social media. I have a Facebook account but am rarely on it and don’t make any posts about myself. I mainly follow FB pages that are groups about subjects I am interested in (Atheism and a few sports teams). IMO social media does way more harm than good. It has also been a factor in the ending of some of my relationships although they were having issues apart from social media.