Aameen

SAW

I had the same Q 🫠 he did mention something around 15:30. But still, this is a tough situation & not everyone will understand. People I live with understand because they see what I am put through by my own mother. No matter how much you try to bare patience, the reactive abuse, manipulation & gas lighting can be too much. Im not an expert sis but this is what I do - I stay away from her as much as I possibly can living under one roof. I do NOT mean ignore her, I just stay away when I can - for my sanity, MOST IMPORTANTLY IT IS TO AVOID SIN BY ARGUING WITH HER - but at the same time FULFIL YOUR duty as a daughter. Do your part for the sake of Allah, for the sake of your akhira. This is so important. Depending on your situation - Literally avoid eye contact, or excessive chit chat or even confrontations - which may lead to arguments. It can make it easier if you just look at her as severely mentally unwell. And see how differently you react. At the end of the day we are doing this for our akhira. Just DONT MAKE IT OBVIOUS that you are avoiding her. You don’t want to face punishment for hurting anyone’s feelings, whilst protecting yourself. Just keep yourself busy with important things. It’s tough! Remember one rule: your mum is your test. Some are tested with war torn country, some tested with poverty, or domestic violence, legal injustice, difficult children, and some are tested with a narcissistic mother. But each time you feel you’re about to snap just remind yourself of what punishment you may face for snapping at your mother. It’s so easy to snap believe me I know. Or even better, just remind yourself this dunya is temporary. Don’t think of this as a phrase. Instead picture yourself in jannah - this dunya will only feel like a couple of minutes. Sometimes it’s easier to just look at people as if they’re not really there. As in they’re just a test. Everyone around you is a test. May Allah make it easier for you sis.

Also coming from certain cultures makes it worse…. 😕🥲 I’ve honestly just come closer to my deen, moved away from the cultural traps. It really helps. I am slowly finding more and more solutions.

@@CK12f7 iam moving to my own place soon inshallah. i dont interact with her much