Rejection and Rage with Borderline Personality Disorder

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Dr. Todd Grande

Dr. Todd Grande

Күн бұрын

This video answers the question: What is the relationship between rejection sensitivity, rage and borderline personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder is a Cluster B personality disorder and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), which is the emotional, erratic, and dramatic cluster. It's the same cluster as antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders. The symptom criteria include: frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, an unstable relationship pattern (sometimes this is called the love-hate cycle), identity disturbance, impulsivity in at least two areas that could be self-damaging, suicidal behaviors, affective instability, a chronic feeling of emptiness, inappropriate, intense anger, and paranoid ideation or dissociation. It's important to note here of course that only five of these symptoms need to be present for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Only a licensed and qualified clinician can make a diagnosis. There are presentations of borderline personality order that don't involve inappropriate, intense anger. In my experience these are not as common as presentations that do involve anger, but it is still important to recognize that we see with borderline personality disorder, not all presentations are similar. When the symptom criterion of anger is met in borderline personality disorder, we see this anger has a certain characteristic to it a lot of times. This particular type of anger is sometimes referred to as borderline rage. This is because it's not only intense and inappropriate, but there's an uncontrolled feeling to this particular type of anger, and it causes a lot of problems for individuals of borderline personality disorder. We see evidence of this in the research. This anger or rage can disrupt relationships including romantic relationships, friendships, relationships at work, and even the therapeutic relationship. We also see that this anger or rage is associated with violence and it predicts early termination of treatment on the part of the individual with borderline personality disorder. Individuals who have this rage are more likely to drop out of therapy. We also see an increased risk for self-harm and suicidal behavior associated with borderline rage. Research shows a strong association between rejection sensitivity and rage. It's important when looking at the results to here that we keep in mind that rejection sensitivity isn't the only thing that explains rage in borderline personality disorder, but it does appear to be a significant factor.
Berenson, K. R., Downey, G., Rafaeli, E., Coifman, K. G., & Paquin, N. L. (2011). The rejection-rage contingency in borderline personality disorder. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 120(3), 681-690.

Пікірлер: 161
@old68new68
@old68new68 4 жыл бұрын
My ex was expecting a engagement ring for Christmas 6 months into our relationship. She opened her Christmas gifts, didn’t see what she was expecting to see, and completely snapped. We were at her parents home and she started overturning furniture, tables, etc. I will never forget the stunned horror of everyone in the home.
@misery8264
@misery8264 5 жыл бұрын
this channel deserves more attention
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!
@iamlight1
@iamlight1 5 жыл бұрын
I noticed and like that his videos have no advertisement; I wonder if that affects how much it gets promoted. I wouldn't change that, simply noticed, like the fact and wondered.
@lovesdogs8616
@lovesdogs8616 5 жыл бұрын
It does, but he skips the hype and thats hard for people. that are used to YT'ers that are creating a safe place for broken hearts. Much more clinical than blame shifting, which I like because it is not so exhausting, just helpful.
@pattyholmes127
@pattyholmes127 5 жыл бұрын
I also like the videos Dr. Grande does on murderers such as Ted Bundy, etc.
@kirstinstrand6292
@kirstinstrand6292 4 жыл бұрын
So very true. Sadly, the US has little interest in mental health or self observation. Those that show interest are often tuned into less professional "healers". I wonder what percent of the adult population has experienced college or university. Popularity weighs more than preparedness and professionalism...at least on the internet.
@garyburgess4464
@garyburgess4464 Жыл бұрын
Until you live with someone with BPD you have no idea how utterly soul destroying they can be. The moods and anger are never ending. It's like living on eggshells waiting for their next turn. Worst of all is the fact that you can't communicate with them when they are having a turn. Then they don't remember or realise what they have done.
@shewho333
@shewho333 4 жыл бұрын
Can borderline people be severe and uncontrolled at home, but also high functioning as far as job achievement and social masking?
@mystijkissler8183
@mystijkissler8183 5 жыл бұрын
The outburst of rage is so beyond anything thing I'd seen before. It is a Snap start and Snap end with an obvious inability to recall what they were screaming when verbally off the charts which makes sense. I felt it was brought on by feeling he was losing my respect and feared my opinion of him when debating a topic. Perceived is the keyword.
@usiluv
@usiluv 5 жыл бұрын
these rages are domestic violence.
@melissam597
@melissam597 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve experienced this, terrifying.
@RaysDad
@RaysDad 4 жыл бұрын
When I was 13 I spent a summer vacation with my mother's sister and her big family. My mother was jealous of her sister, who was leading a better life, with a very stable marriage, a big house and 5 happy kids. Mother had BPD and was going through yet another divorce (I was her only significant lifetime relationship). When I returned from that vacation I was much more confident and assertive -- acting like a normal kid for a change! My face still burns when I recall the slap I received; it came out of nowhere! There wasn't time to brace myself. And I'll never forget the look on her face, both rage and smugness, as she screamed at me about my disloyalty. After that slap I returned to being the docile loner I'd been before. The after-effects of that wonderful vacation were over. Borderline rage may seem spontaneous and excessive, but I believe it is a pressure release of anger built up over a lifetime.
@kirstinstrand6292
@kirstinstrand6292 4 жыл бұрын
Rays dad. I can imagine how devastated you felt. Life is hard. I hope you have found life better since childhood. We all carry scars.
@LDuke-pc7kq
@LDuke-pc7kq 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, they love to pull others down to as far to their level as possible... Black holes... if they are 'not happy' they sure as Hell won't let anyone else be if they can stop it
@stompthedragon4010
@stompthedragon4010 4 жыл бұрын
That makes sense about rejection sensitivity. My question is, how do you communicate with someone who has that issue? You never know when they are going to mininterpret something and get triggered into rage, or even if they are perceiving something fairly accyrately or even somewhat accurately, their reaction is 1000 when maybe it should have been a 5.
@suterfire
@suterfire 5 жыл бұрын
This video was really helpful for me! Thank you. Being more aware of my sensitivity to rejection has made me less sensitive to perceived rejection.
@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091
@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091 5 жыл бұрын
Its a real thing. I project negative connotations onto the most innocuous changes in other people's eyes. Now that I know I've learned to ignore it like a buzzing fly or a blip in reality. Worse case scenario I ask the person if I'm crazy or are they thinking xyz. So far I've always been crazy.
@BlondeManNoName
@BlondeManNoName 3 жыл бұрын
The rage is more than scary. My ex gf with BPD got extremely mad over perceived abandonment and got violent because of that. It traumatized me. BPD makes healthy long term relationships literally impossible and it always is abusive and draining towards the partner.
@FreeJulianAssange23
@FreeJulianAssange23 5 жыл бұрын
I feel so much hate right now and anger and wish it would get out and stay out.
@aerialmanx4852
@aerialmanx4852 3 жыл бұрын
And now I fully understand why the rage of my divorce was so prolonged and intense. Thank you.
@pamtrampe7721
@pamtrampe7721 Жыл бұрын
42 years putting up with rage up and downs. Being a co-defendant I have walked on egg-shells, realizing this person probably won't ever change.
@felix52282
@felix52282 3 жыл бұрын
This makes so much sense. Last week I went on a rage bender with an ex. The relationship was doomed from the beginning, but I made it worse and lost someone I felt so close to. I'm not physically abusive, but I totally tore at her with her insecurities and got myself cut off from her life. I feel everything your talking about. Bpd is the worse 😭😭😭
@raphaellavelasquez8144
@raphaellavelasquez8144 4 жыл бұрын
Growing up neglected and tortured builds up and explodes. Not a mystery. A few life skills are necessary to cope.
@cocainebuffet
@cocainebuffet 4 жыл бұрын
My brothers girlfriend is borderline and they have been together for almost two years (don't ask) Although I understand this won't work I always tell her that she idealizes and devalues as well as having Violent rage fuled temper tandrums..I ask her if she is aware that she doesn't help or solve anything and she continues to do the same cycle. That's what's crazy about borderline..she can talk about how it's wrong, how she's crazy and how she can handle things better, then still continues the same behavior.. I pray that my brother gets better and gets this person out of our family
@peggyjuma
@peggyjuma 3 жыл бұрын
Rejection is the worst thing for me..It makes me so angry and I feel like my eyes go red when I’m angry..I fear my anger cause I think I might end up in prison so I try not to act on it..but then again I like provoking anger in someone else
@denise4590
@denise4590 3 жыл бұрын
100% feel you. I really try to remember my actions can have serious legal consequences. Best of luck you got this✨💕
@peggyjuma
@peggyjuma 3 жыл бұрын
denise you too 💕
@kimmieskuisinehomesteading1575
@kimmieskuisinehomesteading1575 4 жыл бұрын
I can no longer interact with my sister in law because of her rage. She has never been diagnosed but she seems to have so many of the characteristics of bpd. She doesn’t get a long with anybody
@Orcabracer
@Orcabracer 3 ай бұрын
My latest rejection spiral started after I was attempting to show my wife affection/intimacy while we were chilling on the couch and when I looked up and saw her deadpan, emotionless, couldn’t enjoy this less face I sunk into the usual bottomless pit of rejection hell. I decided then and there “fine you don’t want to be touched? Got it”. It’s been about 24 hours and I have avoided all the usual “happy me” touches I give her and feel overwhelmingly sad and depressed. The worst part is that I know she knows what’s going on with me and why. I’m sure it’s exhausting for her to deal with me but in my head I feel like this is the natural and appropriate response to how she responded or didn’t respond to me in that moment. With BPD, everything is personal, and your vision for how someone should react to you in a given situation is never the reality you get. It’s just constant disappointment and fear that everything around you isn’t right and either needs correcting or you just sink into a temporary depressive acceptance/hopeless mode until a positive event occurs between you and other person that resets you back to baseline.
@yasserelgabry
@yasserelgabry 4 жыл бұрын
Dear Dr Grande. Would you please explain the paradox of being pushed away and avoided by BPD persons, although they have an extreme fear of abandonment?! 🤔
@RaysDad
@RaysDad 5 жыл бұрын
Interesting study. The bpd client seems to use rejection sensitivity as a means of controlling people who are uncomfortable dealing with hyper-emotional responses. During treatment the client may attempt to shape the responses of the therapist, and recruit the therapist to support the client's perceptions, interpretations and plans of action.
@SpecialAgent-zn1vv
@SpecialAgent-zn1vv 4 жыл бұрын
Interesting AND intimate perspective, Thank You for Sharing.
@ryangowing8611
@ryangowing8611 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly what my brother did
@4haruchan
@4haruchan 4 жыл бұрын
Omg i did the rejection test and got angry just by doing it. Thanks for the video it was helpful how you explain it all with respect. It is difficult to find videos that are not about getting away from people with bpd and that are trying to understand better the disorder (and that ironically trigger more the rage of being rejected)
@MerlinTheBird
@MerlinTheBird 5 жыл бұрын
Do you have advice for how you can deal with someone exhibiting this behaviour? I’m going through one of the worst periods of my life and have this disorder. I’m bouncing in and out of horrific periods of being upset and angry, and have attempted suicide very recently. I know my general behaviour right now has been unpleasant, but my friends have been telling me to ‘get on with it’ as well as blocking me, because I know they don’t want to discuss negative topics. All those wild irrational fears of abandonment and rejection were realised when I needed help the most. The people around me don’t want to, or know how to, approach this. I know it must be difficult to be an outsider watching a friend or family member act this way, so if there’s a video anywhere that gives details on how best to offer support that would be much appreciated. You explain things so well with no bells and whistles, thank you.
@kimberlyrosssegovia203
@kimberlyrosssegovia203 4 жыл бұрын
I hope you found your way out of that dark Patch. It's the worse kind of agony anyone can endure. Wish u the best! Prayers of peace, grace, joy and success.
@dk-m9529
@dk-m9529 4 жыл бұрын
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy are helping My Daughter and learning as much as I can about the condition is helping me to deal with it better too........it's painful for me to watch and go through so I can only imagine how awful it is for her......but I can honestly say that she is doing a lot better because she is totally committed to the therapy.....at the moment.....it's hard work.....she has lost a lot of friends over the years and dealt with a lot of of judgement, even from me as her mother when I didn't understand what was happening. We have both had to educate ourselves, I've had to set my boundaries and stick to them and she is learning to recognise what's happening and using tools she taught to help her control her emotions and work out what reality actually is as apposed to what she perceives it to be.....it's hard work but get yourself to DBT therapy and do the work......it will be worth it.....don't fall into the trap of seeing a therapist just to unload...if you do the exercises you're given and practice regulating your emotions will become easier and easier over time......my daughter was off the scale a year ago with aggressive verbal and violent behaviour, it was absolutely destroying all of her relationships, she couldn't hold down a job, she got diagnosed by the psychiatrist with BPD, and suddenly, as her mother, I looked back at our life together and her difficulties and it made sense to both of us. She started DBT and the improvement has been noticeably significant for her, she still has major melt downs but she recognises the triggers she's learning radical acceptance and what is perceived versus what is real, she's self calming a lot better and the episodes are not lasting as long.....what I'm trying to say is hang in there kid, look for the right therapy and work your ass off at it and you will get better, you will feel better and you will have some stability......💖
@craigsmith1365
@craigsmith1365 2 жыл бұрын
Wish I new all about this years ago. So glad to get some understanding now. It's never to late.
@rayashleigh494
@rayashleigh494 5 жыл бұрын
Something i very much struggle with except its all internal rage and can be triggered so easily. Hard to live like that :( never thought i was an angry person.. I am usually chill until i feel/percieve my FP has/did reject me. I hate feeling i am losing control of the situation.
@practicalintuition4030
@practicalintuition4030 4 жыл бұрын
Isn't that the quiet type of b.p.d?
@4haruchan
@4haruchan 4 жыл бұрын
Woah girl i feel the same way. The anger of loosing control. The rejection. The best pain I'm getting is from myself. With this FP thing what I'm getting is that I'm not enough as an individual and that I don't deserve hapiness if they reject me. And it's all in my head but I kinda make it happen in the end. Its horrendous. But we must keep living while trying to be okay with ourselves.
@iansmith4924
@iansmith4924 4 жыл бұрын
You are courageous for being able to come out like that.
@LDuke-pc7kq
@LDuke-pc7kq 4 жыл бұрын
@Blake839 , her ability to take ownership of her behavior and self reflect with a diagnosis of BPD is however :) No one wants to see negative qualities in the mirror, but those willing to search for that truth, acknowledge its capacity to harm others if left unchecked, and be willing to get help is very courageous and selfless. It gives me hope too that the person I am trying to understand may also be able to be helped
@eaumartineau7890
@eaumartineau7890 4 жыл бұрын
Be be very careful people with these labels. You can have traits. Everyone has personality traits from one or more types across the board but that doesn't mean you are a full-blown personality disorder.
@lydiam9323
@lydiam9323 4 жыл бұрын
My borderline - narcissist would always tell me : you know I hate rejection! Boy I always thought why does he say that? No one likes rejection. Dear god, I had no true insight into what that truly meant until I was totally hooked by his tentacles
@BC-iz8gt
@BC-iz8gt 4 жыл бұрын
When you do leave them they run straight to some other supply
@joannawork714714623
@joannawork714714623 4 жыл бұрын
I was just assigned a borderline patient who has shown everything you talked about in this video before our first session. Thank you.
@elizabethmee7507
@elizabethmee7507 4 жыл бұрын
Hello again Dr.Grande 💔 I remember being at my mother's side when she passed away , my father was in a psychiatric hospital at that time , so the medics told him what happened that night , he was all alone when he heard this , as I am an only child . We were all of us alone that night looking back it seems .
@sonyap.6512
@sonyap.6512 5 жыл бұрын
Can PTSD or C-PTSD be mistaken for BPD?
@Mosaichealing
@Mosaichealing 5 жыл бұрын
Sonya P. Yes. So can adhd
@FrancesShear
@FrancesShear 3 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande sounds like that was a flawless study discussion with details concerning the specific scientific data showing a rapid switching of moods. It seems to me that scientific measuring of mood states after ruling out other conditions first which may be causing it shortlived. The way your video was produced with the writing on the wall really helped me understand better. May explain why some widowers within the first year of their spouse's death have a much harder time dealing with grief than others do and so they experience a severe clinical depression which requires medication sometimes.
@absolutamentenadie9690
@absolutamentenadie9690 5 жыл бұрын
Great as always, thanks Dr. Grande!
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
You are quite welcome!
@michaelwilkins3050
@michaelwilkins3050 4 жыл бұрын
Only a few I trust and follow. The insight has helped my professional growth. Tx, Dr. Grande !
@empowered_relationships
@empowered_relationships 2 жыл бұрын
This is the best channel and most scientific.
@akehapkap6143
@akehapkap6143 5 жыл бұрын
This is really informative. For a nurse and next of kin :) Thank you dr. Grande :)
@bradmcewen
@bradmcewen 5 жыл бұрын
Ditto. When you have witnessed this surprise behavior its mystifying. Dr Grande has been key to understanding & compartmentalizing its affects.
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
You are quite welcome!
@lachele7099
@lachele7099 5 жыл бұрын
This video was helpful, thank you.
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
@h.borter5367
@h.borter5367 4 жыл бұрын
😞The Psychiatric proscriber I just stopped working with a few months ago diagnosed me with this but my therapist said I do not have it at all. The proscriber was upset that I terminated my care with her because of her behavior towards me, not my fault. She didn't see the big picture of course but it was not right to diagnose me with that just because of my terminating my care with her because of HER behavior. Thanks so much for explaining what BPD really is because I didn't know exactly.
@slaws2279
@slaws2279 Жыл бұрын
I haven’t been coping well lately when it comes to my moods. I think my lifelong childhood friend not inviting me to her wedding has triggered me, and now I’m hypersensitive to any kind of rejection. I just feel wretched and enraged over things that I normally wouldn’t be upset about. It’s been so bad, that I’m now distancing myself from loved ones because I attack them with my words and threaten suicide. I hate feeling this way.
@The6thMessenger
@The6thMessenger 5 жыл бұрын
I think it's about trust, and having that trust betrayed. Coupled with splitting, it's instant traitors, instant liars and evil deceivers.
@beyondbeauty6921
@beyondbeauty6921 5 жыл бұрын
The6thMessenger you just gave a description of borderlines, u are NOT victims u are the abusers.
@tdNin
@tdNin 5 жыл бұрын
Beyond Beauty69 Your username, couple with your entitlement to assume people are abusers and not victims probably says a lot about what you are. It's very interesting to observe someone like you accusing and essentially abusing people who probably were themselves abused thus developing a personality disorder, all the while sitting on a pedestal and showing the utmost lack of self awareness and respect for people. Hmm you actually look quite narcissistic and lacking in the empathy department, which is objectively worst than what you're blindly accusing others to be (BPDs). Good luck to you, because it seems by your comments that you've become what you hate. lol
@sinnyozzy
@sinnyozzy 5 жыл бұрын
Yup, totally
@tonihudson6749
@tonihudson6749 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge. I am seeking insight to better understand my friend that has been diagnosed with bpd and schizoaffective disorders. It breaks my heart to see his turmoil and pain.
@runwiththewind3281
@runwiththewind3281 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for helping me understand
@livfreeali1481
@livfreeali1481 5 жыл бұрын
people will start self diagnosing when they watch this... you start thinking i have this when really you don’t
@vj7077
@vj7077 4 жыл бұрын
Great videos . Thankyou!
@isabeldaley2583
@isabeldaley2583 5 жыл бұрын
BPD rage seems akin to NPD rage. Can you compare/contrast the issue of rage in these personality disorders. Is it possible that these two disorders are on a continuum? Is it possible that people with NPD also , or necessarily, have BPD?
@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091
@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091 5 жыл бұрын
BPD rage for reasons not even they know, NPD rage for reasons only they know. Thats mine but I think it was Millon or Kernberg who stated narcissism was a defense against the borderline personality structure. I believe this indicate two levels rather than a continuum. The narc who faces reality 'drops' down into a decompensated borderline sounds about right to me.
@suk4honesty
@suk4honesty 5 жыл бұрын
Why are you guys so obsessed with linking bpd to npd
@halfmanhalfamazing9812
@halfmanhalfamazing9812 4 жыл бұрын
vickie g it has a strong relation. Where as somebody who has BPD can also have NPD trait . Often a lot of people think that they are dealing with a Narcissist but are dealing with a person of BPD especially with the abandonment area and so BPD can take from all the Personality disorders from the cluster B and behave stronger on one trait, which is seen with The narcissistic trait .
@aquariusvibe7851
@aquariusvibe7851 4 жыл бұрын
vickie g because the abuse is sooooo similar
@melissam597
@melissam597 4 жыл бұрын
My abuser has BPD but, while she has a few traits associated with vulnerable narcissism, I would say not enough to be diagnosed with NPD. Borderlines can be just as scary & harmful as Narcs and ASPDs and this needs to be understood by more.
@rayne7841
@rayne7841 5 жыл бұрын
Excellent video!
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@Catssandra13
@Catssandra13 4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande, this video really helped clarify a lot for me regarding one of my siblings. So much rage from childhood and onward. Can this kind of rage in a young child be linked to the child witnessing a parent display such feelings of rage in front of the child, while very young? I know this video isn't one of your newer ones, hopefully you will see my comment and can answer. As always, thank you for these informative and helpful videos.
@fraiser3330
@fraiser3330 4 жыл бұрын
CBT!!! Best thing I ever did!!! 🇨🇦👍🏼💃🏼
@miraggg
@miraggg 5 жыл бұрын
i have a video request: can you please make a video about betterhelp and your opinion on online therapy? thank you!
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
I hope to be able to produce a video about Betterhelp soon. I have an older video on text therapy: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jt1oisV9mpyUe5s.html
@lucasjustinien6416
@lucasjustinien6416 4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande have you made a video where you explain how you define rejection. I think most of us associate it with picking someone up in a bar, but how does rejection work in other parts of the lives of people with BPD. My mother has an extreme case of BPD and I had to cut her out of my life for good after she physically attacked my boyfriend. I want to know more about how rejection operates in her life.
@suk4honesty
@suk4honesty 5 жыл бұрын
I have bpd but I’m not argumentative and if I’m angry enough to yell it won’t even come out because I’ll be crying too much. If I’m full of rage I take out on myself in the form of self harm and/or I just become very cold and cut the person off as much as I can
@rosariorob6954
@rosariorob6954 5 жыл бұрын
Sorry to ask, but I don't know of I have any if this. I can get really angry for stupid minor things, but instead of yelling at someone, I hurt myself by punching objects or pinching or scratching myself ( although of the other person is my sister I yell at her and walk out of the room while punching walls). There are other things in this video that that I feel identified with. Just some days ago I started digging about all this stuff, so I was wondering if you think I could have something like bpd, or if I should let anyone know about my condition. Thanks!
@beyondbeauty6921
@beyondbeauty6921 5 жыл бұрын
vickie g your borderline and NOT argumentative.. really wow!!! Lol
@vinblack85
@vinblack85 5 жыл бұрын
I would love to hear your opinion and thoughts on adderall and its use for those with ADD
@kirstinstrand6292
@kirstinstrand6292 4 жыл бұрын
Rage and Hatred were never part of my ideation, nor was emptiness. I was always confused about the hatred and emptiness concepts. Not part of MY MO. Rejection was not MY hangup, either.
@Jess-kn8vl
@Jess-kn8vl 4 жыл бұрын
Look into CPTSD
@pommie5093
@pommie5093 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this informative video about the nature of rejection and rage with BPD. I might be missing it, if you already did so, but I wondered if you might consider a video about the differences between BPD and PTSD. In the majority of books that I have read about PTSD, the author will describe an inaccurate diagnosis-in many cases- of a personality disorder with those struggling with PTSD, by some in the mental health field. I believe that there are some cross over items in personality disorders with PTSD and this could be the catalyst for a personality disorder diagnosis. Still, I think that it could be helpful to describe the differences in these two diagnoses. Thank you for reading.
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
Here is one on BPD vs. CPTSD: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/l7umYMJkxs-yhJc.html I will add BPD vs. PTSD to the production list. Thank you!
@moirae1227
@moirae1227 2 жыл бұрын
We are all different
@agnesagni
@agnesagni 5 жыл бұрын
Could it be that the traditional therapeutic relationship that is imbalanced and does not treat the client as a partner in solving his or her issues causes that they leave therapy often? DBT treats them more as equals and thus is much more effective.
@fraiser3330
@fraiser3330 4 жыл бұрын
Is there not different degrees of this disorder?
@rosariorob6954
@rosariorob6954 5 жыл бұрын
I don't know exactly what I have. When I fail at doing something of minor importance, when someone corrects me, and in other in insignificant situation, I get really angry. The thing is that, instead of hurting others I hurt myself. I punch walls or objects , pinch or scratch myself. I even once THOUGHT of killing one of my friends instead of punching her. For example, I could be having a great time with my friend, but then she says a silly joke and that makes me want to shout at her. Also, I still most of the time hate my friend ( mainly because she makes me feel angry, but she doesn't know it because I hide it by hurting myself )but when she gets mad at me I feel very bad and want to fix our problem (witch makes no sense since I don't like her much) At home I usually get angry at my sister. I shout at her and walk away. After that I usually punch a wall and a pillow. In that cases I feel like no one understands me. I don't know if this is normal in people, that's why in hear watching this video. If someone knows what this could mean I would really appreciate if you could please tell me. Great video, by the way.
@anis9166
@anis9166 5 жыл бұрын
Rosario Rob I feel similar to you! And have also been looking more into personality disorders. I understand what you mean by hating a friend but then wanting to do everything to fix whatever issues come up. I cut off all my friends due to this rage. being around them made me want to hurt myself or even them. Do you feel close to them at any point in the relationship? I usually feel stable at he beginning of relationships but then start to throw tantrums as the relationship goes on. Ive wondered if I just have a strong repulsion to being attached to people. I hope you read this!
@Blobby192
@Blobby192 Жыл бұрын
yes finally after all these years i find a rare grande akido master video,still more to find,i did see a purple one, if anyone is interested
@LiamFranklinFarang
@LiamFranklinFarang Жыл бұрын
It's amazing how unhinged BPD people can be. It's truly incredible. I have a feeling everyone who actually knows this woman in real life knows she's a nut job though. She seems to think she's been "gaslight" by friends, family and past lovers. I would say she's the common denominator
@marvfromthecity
@marvfromthecity 2 ай бұрын
I am still trying to process the rage my pwbpd has and I feel drained. I have an auto immune condition called vitiligo and stress really causes my skin to lighten, yet, when my pwbpd flips its like nothing Ive ever seen. Hurts my heart bc I love her, but dawgon this shit is beyond stressful.
@ryannt.2143
@ryannt.2143 3 жыл бұрын
Doc...could you please let me know why I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. When I have borderline personality disorder? I’ve heard these two specific mood disorders have many overlapping symptoms. I had rage when I had my previous psychiatrist kept telling me I had bipolar disorder. has become easier to for professional to determine the difference between the two? Thank you
@Pvppy_dr3amz
@Pvppy_dr3amz 4 ай бұрын
My boyfriend doesn't understand. He thinks I cut myself because I'm depressed. I want to protect him from my rage cutting is the only way to do that I don't want to hurt him I'd die for him. My therapist is evil and wants me to hurt my boyfriend she hospitalizes me and takes me away from the only person I care about and all my coping mechanisms. Hurting myself helps me feel normal I'm not ashamed and I'm tired of people saying self harm is wrong it's help me so much
@lydiam9323
@lydiam9323 4 жыл бұрын
I wasted my beautiful face body life on a borderline-narcissist it hurts so much
@danheath1937
@danheath1937 4 жыл бұрын
Same here im an idiot
@aquariusvibe7851
@aquariusvibe7851 4 жыл бұрын
Same
@tyler_drdn
@tyler_drdn 4 жыл бұрын
Are you sure you are not narcissist? beautiful face body life
@bodge6886
@bodge6886 4 жыл бұрын
My second eldest son has explosive narcissism because of his mother’s rejection and her own BPD, sadly I am at a loss as to how to assist him in his condition.
@melmel8907
@melmel8907 4 жыл бұрын
The fact that you are reaching out is huge. I hope you find help. 🙏🏻
@stephenfermoyle1498
@stephenfermoyle1498 4 жыл бұрын
this is everything i am and why ? my Father has the same rage..i did not stand a chance the treatment for this....is ? thank you for your videos its the first time i have seen the light at the end of the tunnel..for the WHAT it is but not how to treat this thank you
@lesleygore5106
@lesleygore5106 Жыл бұрын
I've been locked in a intensive care psychiatric ward for a year, with diagnosis of BPD, i don't feel rejection.
@lisafeck1537
@lisafeck1537 2 жыл бұрын
The question that comes to mind while listening- related to the diagnostic jounal, what if the person has little or no reflective abilities? Or is drinking so much that they are unable to reflect, just stew on that rage?
@bebopbountyhead
@bebopbountyhead 4 жыл бұрын
Is living with Borderline even worth it? I've been going to therapy for about eight years now, and my experience of socialization is still that of willful self-torture. If I cannot genuinely relate to others, and am disruptive as a result, what use can I be to others? I've begun fantasizing about dying again, and am wondering whether I should just go-forward with committing suicide.
@angelamerlati8814
@angelamerlati8814 4 жыл бұрын
Keep your head up, you deserve to be happy. Keep trying
@marielarsson6718
@marielarsson6718 4 жыл бұрын
Im sorry that you have got so much pain. Hang on. You are not alone.
@dane3038
@dane3038 4 жыл бұрын
I can relate. I've spent time in " The Hospital " because my rage caused me to hate myself so much that I wanted to kill myself. With mellowing that comes with age and some insight from psychology and philosophy, I've learned to manage it ( not cure ). I still suffer from depression and live with fear of another flare up but when I have suicidal thoughts I usually remind myself that the grave WILL have it's day and every day after. Now is the time for life and everything good and bad in it. No need to rush to the inevitable. And learn to forgive yourself as you struggle to manage yourself. That's probably key.
@carlybarker4538
@carlybarker4538 5 жыл бұрын
Hi, is an "episodic" person the same as borderline?
@podlou9939
@podlou9939 4 жыл бұрын
I wonder if somebody presenting with co-morbid introverted narcissism/BPD would be more able to control rage at perceived rejection with articulacy/manipulation through language than with violence. Anybody believe they have either been on receiving end of this, the feelings of having been raged at, but as if it's 'rational' (the giver's perspective) as it is not physically violent?
@VioletViolence
@VioletViolence 5 жыл бұрын
this video made me angry for some reason lmaooo
@thisisbob1001
@thisisbob1001 4 жыл бұрын
How in the UK can I find out if I have Bpd?
@bardoface
@bardoface Жыл бұрын
Interesting….demoralizing too.
@droan999
@droan999 4 жыл бұрын
Does anyone make up elaborate excuses or scenarios to get someone your losing in a relationship to come back or simply text you? I’ve done this a lot and I’m thinking I have bpd
@glenparr1155
@glenparr1155 3 жыл бұрын
I'd never understood how people didn't explode in extreme anger over certain things. I've broken my own and others bones in bouts of explosive anger and always likened my anger to trying to contain an exploding grenade in a paper bag. I was abandoned at birth by both my parents, and raised by a mother that beat me black and blue with sticks, until I was big enough to stop her. I'd never thought my childhood was any cause of my terrible anger but have come to think otherwise. I fit descriptions of BPD and Antisocial Personality disorders but talking to strangers about it has brought on even more anger and what might be anxiety attacks.
@MADIXCULT
@MADIXCULT 4 жыл бұрын
How long did it take to know all these disorders so well?
@dk-m9529
@dk-m9529 4 жыл бұрын
Can mood stabilisers help people who suffer with this disorder?
@MrTwinkieeater
@MrTwinkieeater Жыл бұрын
What isn't mentioned is that borderline traits can be triggered when the narcissist unmasks themselves. Imagine someone setting you up for years then saying "just effing with you" it's enough to make any sane person mental. Psychopathic.
@laurahall7681
@laurahall7681 5 жыл бұрын
Could you possibly cover something in regards to Borderline and chronic nightmares? I've been suffering from them for years and there isn't that much out there to help me.. Im just tired of being afraid to go to sleep. The most I know in regards to why I dream the way I do, is because my dreams are anxiety based.. And thats about all I know...
@VoiceOfThe
@VoiceOfThe 4 жыл бұрын
My ex regularly had a nightmare that her teeth were falling out and would wake up sobbing. Quite scary being woken up to that to be honest.. after some Googling, it apparently fits with her being abandoned by her father when she was younger.
@donnahilton471
@donnahilton471 4 жыл бұрын
Reading before going to sleep. Something pleasant.
@selfsabotagingbanana0451
@selfsabotagingbanana0451 Жыл бұрын
Does feeling like someone is triggering you on purpose count as paranoid ideation? I have that a lot and it often confuses me in hindsight, because I have no way of knowing if the other person did it on purpose or not. I mean who would admit triggering someone on purpose?
@k.polanchekfntp8033
@k.polanchekfntp8033 3 жыл бұрын
Where do I get tested?
@danyella1579
@danyella1579 5 жыл бұрын
do you think its a good idea to email someone I hurt to apologize even if I never spoke to them?
@danyella1579
@danyella1579 5 жыл бұрын
By that I mean I was passive aggressive and we sort of had built up tension and enmeshed and I disappeared never talking to him again and I went psychotic and had hallucinations and dissociated. Or would that be considered hoovering. I dont really expect anything from them but it was also 13 months ago and I dont want to bring something up to them that they possibly forgot.
@shadrach6299
@shadrach6299 5 жыл бұрын
Dany Ella Never put anything that can be misinterpreted in writing.
@veronicasjoblom4462
@veronicasjoblom4462 4 жыл бұрын
Hmh. Rejection... But if abandoned I feel bereft, I feel that I need to die.
@antiochiaadtaurum3786
@antiochiaadtaurum3786 5 жыл бұрын
Do some BPD's sufferers act out on objects (such as slashing objects, or damaging things in some other way) instead of cutting themselves? Or is cutting objects outside of themselves more an anti-social feature?
@Clustersey
@Clustersey 4 жыл бұрын
Awkward Autistic What did you see a car in the streets with its tyres slashed and just assume some with BPD did it? And same with trashed bedrooms, did you goto a friends that had a trashed room and labelled them lol
@melmel8907
@melmel8907 4 жыл бұрын
They act out on others too. Tried to kill me.
@erichaynes7502
@erichaynes7502 4 жыл бұрын
I think there's a high percentage of personality disorders in countries like the U.S. because there's so much dysfunction in both the family and society as a whole. I'd say maybe 40-80% of american's have NPD or BPD or some other personality disorder.
@unforgiven-xi3rz
@unforgiven-xi3rz 5 жыл бұрын
Have you ever made a video about bpd with no sense of a personality whatsoever?
@cmattbacon7838
@cmattbacon7838 4 жыл бұрын
History Ron IC?
@Gigi-dg9mu
@Gigi-dg9mu Жыл бұрын
I kicked my front car windshield in a rage 😡 after my ex kept accusing me of talking to men on Facebook which was his paranoia. It was an accumulation of things and I exploded 😂
@ser2952
@ser2952 4 жыл бұрын
KZfaq recommended this today and it's pretty timely with all the Trisha Paytas drama.
@lunarmystic9896
@lunarmystic9896 5 жыл бұрын
😈😈I'm angry 😠🎃🎃 😅 I like this guy
@singingsiren82
@singingsiren82 5 жыл бұрын
I'd like to see the difference between borderline and bipolar disorder. I'm bipolar and a lot of these symptoms seem to be common with bipolar disorder.
@DrGrande
@DrGrande 5 жыл бұрын
Here you go: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mrthorWfvNG2oGQ.html
@singingsiren82
@singingsiren82 5 жыл бұрын
@@DrGrande thanks!
@beyondbeauty6921
@beyondbeauty6921 5 жыл бұрын
booplouisetx Borderline personality disorder is a personality disorder bipolar is a mood disorder causing extremes of high mania and lows depression not the same at all.
@VoiceOfThe
@VoiceOfThe 4 жыл бұрын
Beyond Beauty69 And with bpd the extreme moods can change within an hour, from elation to anger etc... with bi-polar it’s much longer and can be days or weeks. That’s the fundamental difference apparently.
@FLORIDA_MAN_813
@FLORIDA_MAN_813 Жыл бұрын
I have BPD and seeing the comments of how many people have been hurt by people with the disorder makes me wonder if I’m making everyone around me miserable.
@drlarrymitchell
@drlarrymitchell 2 жыл бұрын
Pull the pin, and let the chips fall where they may.
@THEONEJENDAV
@THEONEJENDAV 5 жыл бұрын
Hello Holly.
@Lin.1703
@Lin.1703 Жыл бұрын
I avoid all bpd people after the abuse I suffered from them nobody out there making videos for me
@Kroops12
@Kroops12 Жыл бұрын
All of you talking like people with bpd arent humans you have no idea how it feels being inside a brain with the disorder, you have, NO idea how horrible it is.
@jamesgang4433
@jamesgang4433 5 жыл бұрын
But I thought I was a special snowflake n the ultimate gift to all woman, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about, it's always the girls fault it doesn't take a PhD to figure that out doc! Lmao
@melindac3368
@melindac3368 5 жыл бұрын
Well, none of this is good news!
@michael_stanley
@michael_stanley 4 жыл бұрын
interesting but confusing - more like geared for clinicians - not very useful for the general public
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