Thank you so much :) I really appreciate it. It's been a gift for me to be able to share these videos with all of you, and to spark such genuine conversations to be a part of. I honestly can't tell you enough how happy I am that so many of us have been able to connect in this way. Much love

I didn't actually know exactly how his friend ended up doing it, but this makes the video hit even harder knowing that. Great catch. Man the last lines I had to stifle the tears. It's just so real. I feel like I was listening to a private moment that I shouldn't be, which is what makes Ren's music so beautiful because he chooses to let us see the inside of his mind and soul. Much love

@@GhostWatcher2024 My understanding it is The bridge from which Joe Hughes is assumed to have jumped

What @@Veeliscious said. That is my understanding, too -- that this performance is on the bridge where his friend chose to end his life. It makes it the performance even more of a gut punch. The circumstances of the event to which the song is referring also makes me think that the on the *surface* relatively upbeat-sounding "over and over we go, over the hills and the valleys below" has a really tragic connotation of going over the edge (literally and figuratively). It's a hell of a song, and absolutely tough to listen to every single time; especially the ending.

Sorry all but that's misinformation, it was absolutely not performed on that bridge, if you don't hear it from Ren don't believe it ❤

I just want to start by saying you're not a failure. I'm so sorry for your losses and everything that that has put you through. Pain from loss can feel so overwhelming, especially when we find ourselves feeling alone as well, but know that you're not alone. The power of Ren's music alone helps us to understand that we're not alone, as it connects to us emotionally and knowing that someone is able to relate means that on some level we're going through similar experiences, meaning we're not alone. On top of that, however, you have the people of this community who are here for you, myself included. You said you WERE such a butterfly, but I think you're still that butterfly, you're just going through a metamorphosis. Life may not have gone the way one hopes or you intended so far, but your future is going to bring you joys that you may not have ever considered. Sending you lots of love

Great words sir 👏

Much love to you. None of this is your fault. You've done the best you could in any moment. As Ren asks in Dear God: "Do we even choose" (our own destiny)? Ren seems to wrestle with that question a lot and I've wondered a lot about this, too. When I'm so stuck that I can't seem to escape, can I really choose to get out? I think the answer is both (a paradox). I recommend Thomas Huebl's work on individual, ancestral, and collective trauma. Take care. The butterfly is still there, dormant. ❤

❤🙏❤

Sending some love and virtual hugs to you ❤

Literally their songs so far have been just so powerful. Like you mentioned, to be able to put all of this into music means his experiences up until this point have just been so crushing, and yet he still shares this pain with us which is beautiful. Much love

I'm so sorry for your loss, Christi. This kind of loss is just so difficult. I've lost people close to me but never my child, so I can't say that I know exactly how you're feeling, but I want you to know that you're not alone in this. I wish it had turned out for the best, but I'm glad that you got closure. Though we can't bring back those who we've lost, we can keep them alive in our hearts, which you do. Much much love to you

Heartbreaking Christi. My partner was in addiction for many years, whilst he is alive and in recovery now (we are no longer together) I understand how immensely hard it is to not become an enabler, and even harder to not fall victim to their manipulations to get money out of you as they self medicate their pain - I've been left with £30k debts as I wasn't strong enough - that nearly took me to ending my life instead several times. It's a devastating situation for all involved including those suffering addition. I pray your son at peace now and that you can find peace in accepting everything you did for him was for love and his - and the rest of your family's - highest good

I lost my daughter 3 years ago to an overdose after she fought mental illness and addiction for 20 years. She was in my life for 38 years. My husband died almost a year later. I hang onto Ren for dear life. I wish she were here to "meet" Ren and now Chinchilla. As for my daughter, as Ren said "I miss you so". My heart is broken forever but somehow Ren, you are helping me. Glad I found you.

Yeah I didn't really think about the other perspective until we got to the end of the song, but I relistened to the song with that in mind and the ability to cater to two perspectives with the same words is astounding. The way you said this is perfect, that's exactly the duality of it and it's breathtaking in the sense of the beauty of the song but also the heartache of the song. Love your explanation and thank you for the support. Much love

I love that perspective, @Apollo Rising. I've listened to this song a *lot*. It's my favourite Ren piece so far - it's beautifully devastating, the harmonies are astonishing, and Chinchilla is amazing here. But the more I listened to it and absorbed the lyrics, the more confused I was about who exactly was speaking to us. The end bit is obviously Ren, no confusion there. But was the rest Ren telling us his story, his reaction to his friend's death? Or was it Ren putting himself in his friend's head and telling the story from that side? I swung between each possibility almost every time I listened, unable to decide. You have resolved it perfectly, it's *both*. Thank you. This man impresses me more and more every day I spend down the rabbit hole. He really is a total feckin' genius.

No way... That's even more dreadful. I can't imagine the layer of sadness that it would add not to see them for one last time. Heartbreaking. Much love

You said this so perfectly. It's just that, like everything in the world falling away and your insides bubbling up to the surface to create a cage that keeps you feeling trapped. I really appreciate your consideration of this, thank you. Much love

I found this video (and comment) wayyyy late, but you're so precisely right. I'm sorry for the loss you experienced that allowed you to perfectly capture in words the 10 or so hours I lived immediately after my mom passed abruptly.

It's definitely true. I listened to it again with that in mind, and it's insane the ability Ren has to write such complex emotions from so many different perspectives. Gotta love his talent. Thanks for the support :) Much love

You said exactly what I was feeling

It truly, truly is. Loss is so difficult in and of itself, but it hurts so much more when that loss is a choice. Much love

SCRATCH Decent. I meant Brilliant, Touching, Captivating and shit loads more fantastic praises. My Bad.

Haha, you're definitely right. This is brilliant, touching, captivating, and all of the positive expressions one could think of for music because damn, the emotion that this song evokes and conveys is just on another level. Much love from Canada :)

First of all, I love Lessons. I can feel your pain through the lyrics and the way you perform it. It's that kind of pain that's born from so much love and for you to carry on his legacy like that is beautiful. Thank you for bearing your soul both in the song and here. When I lost my grandma, who was very important in my life, I remember how much music helped to support me through that time so you're right, the power of music is incomparable. Much love to you for your strength, creativity, and just being a fantastic person.

Thank you so much again. I honestly almost cried at the end there myself. I had to take a second because that last part really really hit. Much love

Haha thank you so much :) It's an honour for you to be looking forward to the breakdowns. I hope the patience was worth it :P Much love

Its always worth. Youre doing THE best analysis of his songs. I feel like other reactors should watch your reactions :D

They're definitely on the way. Sorry it's been so long haha, but they're definitely in my sights. I've also heard that Crutch is very emotional so I'm preparing myself for that one as well. Much love

Thank you so much, seriously. Not only for your support and kindness, but for recommending me to Ren like that. I really appreciate it. To take the time and consideration to do that is something I can't thank you enough for. I think we're all here to experience life together, and for those that are going through struggles in any way, shape, or form, it's even more important that they know that we're a community, so to hear you thanking me for that actually brings tears to my eyes. Much love, and thanks for being amazing

Thank you for saying that. The light and love is the reason I wanted to start this channel. Hearing you say that is one of the greatest compliments, so thank you for saying that and for taking the time to watch Aidan :) Much love

Thanks so much :) Your support is honestly so amazing

Thanks so much Iam :) Much love

In terms of the pausing, I think you're right that it takes the emotion out of the song to some degree, but my assumption is usually if someone is watching the song here they've already seen it. That's also why I post the link to the video in the description in case people want to watch before the breakdown. Thank you for taking the time to watch :) Much love

No, you are amazing :)

I really appreciate it :) It's been an honest pleasure just to be able to share and discuss with so many people through the channel. I think connecting like this is something a lot of us are missing and just to be able to talk and chat as a result of the videos has been such a gift, because I know how important connection is, especially now. Much love and thank you for being awesome!

That has been at the core of my heart for some time now. It really took root when my grandma passed away and I realized that the way that we keep people alive is by talking about them and sharing their stories. It's not immortality in the biological sense, but talking about them, sharing their experiences and lessons, etc, is how we keep their energy and memory alive long after they're gone. Much love Stranger

They are so amazing, it's unjust how underrated they were for so long. Their music just has so much heart and passion. Much love

Thanks so much :) I'm glad to be on this journey with you! Much love

OR everybody drops both amazing songs and a strong way of interpretation which I think you can interpret in a poetic way as well.

THANK YOU!! I'm honestly so lucky to have such supportive people like yourself alongside me for the journey, so thank you for that :) I'll probably end up going through all of Ren's work over time but I'll definitely add those to be watched. Much love and thanks again :)

I wish everyone felt like they were always able to reach out

Thanks so much :) Much love

Oh man, I didn't consider it as you being accepted by the faith. That adds even more depth to it, especially if faith is in reference to those that have passed. Very nice insight. Much love

It's such a great song. He has such a way with words

First of all, thank you for the compliment :) I really appreciate it. In regards to the butchering, so to speak, there are two things I'd like to mention. This is one of my earlier videos when I was first getting introduced to Ren and Chinchilla and hadn't done reactions before, so this definitely isn't my most succinct work. Though the other, and I think the more important part, is that this is a reaction, as you also mentioned. It's meant to be the thoughts and feelings that arise when I'm watching the art that these two created, and speaks volumes of how powerful their music is if it evokes that kind of reaction. If someone wants to listen to the song, specifically, they can (and should) listen to the original video instead of listening to my commentary. I've improved the way I approach the reactions since, but even if I hadn't I would rather butcher the video and provide a breakdown because there are a fair few who watch the videos and English is not their first language so they come here for an understanding of the meanings behind the words and I'd rather that they also enjoyed it than I actively just skip past things so that it gets more "viewable." Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your watching of the video, even if it wasn't to your taste. Much love

ROUNDS! That's what it's called. I was trying to think of the name of it because my friends and I will sit there and go back and forth like that when we're singing a song, but for the life of me I couldn't remember. Thank you so much haha. You're right, the way they do it here is absolutely amazing, and the way they unify at the end is almost as though both voices are now synched, which is a great touch. Much love!

Thank you :) Much love

Thank you. I'm glad that you thought so. Much love

You shared it accurately because it is definitely a punch to the soul, which I'm finding is Ren's superpower. Much love

Thank you for taking the time to share with us and for the vulnerability and bravery that it takes to do that. I know that losing someone can feel impossible, especially when they're someone so so close to you, but I think that feeling of loss and sorrow is a true testament to the love that the two of you share, and for you to tell your story and share your thoughts about her is another way that we keep those people alive both in our hearts and in our memories. I hope you know you're not alone. Much love from Canada. Nav

Haha I've never thought about it as counselling before but honestly it means so much to me that you consider the videos to be even in the realm of that. If I'm being honest, I read that and it brought tears to my eyes, so I think we broke each other, haha. Much love

Thanks so much :) Much love

Thank you so much for this, it truly warms my heart

There's just something so different about what he does. I think it's how important he considers the human experience that helps to drive my love of him and his music. Much love

He really is talented beyond measure. Just from what I've seen so far he has such a myriad of styles, too, which is insanely difficult to do in and of itself, but to do it to the caliber he can is absolutely bonkers. I'll have to check out The Civil Wars! Much love

I love that you love it! Thanks for your support and for being your wonderful self :) Much love

@@shadowaeternum2690 of course! Do you ever livestream?

Haha that would be awesome! I'm glad you loved it :P Much love

Thanks so much :) I really appreciate it. Much love from Canada

Thanks so much! Much love

Haha no need to apologize! Thanks for the support :) Much love

Oh and maybe Freckled Angels for another song made about the friend he lost. It’s beautiful.

Crutch is next :) I'm very much looking forward to it. And I'll check out freckled angel as well. Casper had also mentioned it so for you guys I definitely have to check it out! Much love

There have been quite a few people that have mentioned Civil Wars. I think I'm going to have to check them out! Much love

@@shadowaeternum2690 Similar chemistry with each other. They broke up, but they are quite great.

That's just it. When it comes to what gets shared or seen nowadays, it's mostly successes or the highs in peoples' lives which paints a false picture of what life can really be like. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be hurting, in fact it's those downs that help us truly fall into the ups. I'm sorry that you've gone through those breakdowns, but know that you're an inspiration to those who are going through it so thank you for that. Much love

@@shadowaeternum2690 funnily enough already planning my next phase...doing just that. So little information about the issues I've had, so thinking of starting something to provide advice and resources for others :) I fall hard but I power up quickly once I get going again

I'm so sorry about your loss. Losing a loved one, especially in tragedies like that, leaves a pain that feels unbearable. While I'm not sure what your beliefs are, I want you to know I believe that things the things that we've done or the things that have happened to us do not dictate our future, but serve as stepping stones to better ourselves, the good, the bad, and the terrible. You're not in need of redemption, you're a beautiful human being just the way you are, no matter what you've done, thought, been told, anything. What's important in life is we keep taking steps forward to better ourselves, those around us, and the future. If you're someone who believes there's a reason for everything, there's a reason that you survived and that you're here now, and by telling your story you give strength to others while simultaneously empowering yourself, so hat's off to you. Much love because you are loved.

It speaks to the soul in such a direct way. Absolutely heart wrenching. Much love

Thank you Casper :) I'll have to check that out! Much love

Thank you so much :)

That's definitely next :P Much love

I definitely agree with you, I just don't think I have the capacity to house all the considerations that bubble up from Ren's music if I wait to pause too long haha. I'll try to curb it to some degree in the future though :P Thanks for your support :) Also just to touch on the part about getting a feel for the piece, I feel like I do but I also have the opportunity to watch it again after as well, which makes it okay for me :P Much love

@@shadowaeternum2690 if I asked the question, I imagine others will be thinking it, too. A lot of us are looking for very specific things when we come to a reaction channel. Understanding what you’re listening to and watching is obviously key, but we’re looking for that first-time reaction so that we can kind of get that feeling back for ourselves. Especially at our favourite parts. When you pause it so frequently, and for so long each time, you/we lose all of that. You should definitely rewind five seconds after each pause. It helps you get back into the track, and we all appreciate that. It might help a little with all the pausing, but I still feel you’ll have more people engaged if you knocked it down a couple a notches. Again, that’s just my opinion. Perhaps I’m in the minority of people who think this way, but I’m assuming I’m not haha. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.

His analysis is what im coming for to His channel. Let him do his thing, hes very good at it

You're definitely right, there's no confusion in the words that Ren says or the way he presents his music, but that's not why I started the channel. I just appreciate art, especially art with a message, and finding meaning in things and sharing that experience alongside others. It's the connection that gets forged as a result of the connection Ren makes with us that really makes me want to continue doing videos like this. I totally get if that's not what you're looking for, but that's why I love doing this. I'm a teacher by day, haha. Much love :)

Do you know what a reaction video is ? It’s where someone gives their thoughts and analysis of a creative work . If you are disappointed that Shadow is giving his interpretation of REN’s lyrics then you should not click on a reaction video but the artist’s original video . The rest of us who click on Shadow’s channel are coming to hear his breakdown and opinion - which are spot on and brilliant I might add.

@@shadowaeternum2690 I understand. After a couple other reactions of yours I started to see how you do things. Of course my opinion may differ and that's fine. Not everyone would take what I wrote with as much understanding, maybe even say I was hyper critical. Perhaps I was. It could be I was in one of my own emotional days and hearing Ren again with this one hit me differently. I now know what type of 'reactions' you do, I may not always like them, but some are ok. I can just move on of course and not say anything, probably would have been best, as I seem to have sparked comments to my remark, and they didn't seem all that agreeable. :) It is what it is. The world and every one living on it have their own life's struggles and opinions. That is what makes life interesting, good or bad. In short, you do things the way you like to do, I get it. I hope there will be no more hard feelings from others against me.

Ren is a poet. Poetry speaks to each person differently, depending on all the things that make the reader an individual. Shadow A is sharing the meaning he is taking from REN’s words, which is a perfectly legitimate response to art. No artist drops his creation into a silent vacuum, they offer it to the world because they want to be heard.

There's a lot that goes on in the Ren videos and I don't want to miss a beat because his art speaks SO much that it would be impossible for me to not pause and still cover all of the ground that his music does. Definitely not a reaction style for everyone but I think it's the best way to do justice to his work. Much love