Links to academic sources at the end.
Four Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships:
1. If it feels wrong - it is wrong.
2. S/he is trying too hard? Involves too much conspicuous and ostentatious effort? It is fake.
3. Too good to be true? It is not true.
4. Verify everything: 90% of the time, people lie and 90% of the time we believe every word they say (90:90 rule or base rate fallacy).
You feel ill at ease because you are flooded with info that generates cognitive dissonance (he says one thing and behaves another) and emotional dissonance (I am so into him, I will ignore). This leads to confirmation bias.
But all the info is there (misogynist vs. narcissist vs. sadist), available to your intuition.
Philosophers have a lot to tell you about your gut feeling and whether, when, and how you should trust it.
Ariely’s studies on dishonesty www.psychologi...
Neuroscience of unthinking trust www.pbs.org/ne...
Everyone lies all the time theconversatio...
We trust everyone all the time hbr.org/2009/0...
Ariely’s new book about lying www.amazon.com...
Everyone cheats all the time www.wsj.com/ar...
TED Talks on lying www.ted.com/pl...
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...