I have done more videos on this condition and will be doing some more in the future! :) xx

I always thought I was the only one that never spoke

I've had selective mutism ever since I can remember. I like that you're talking about it. Not many people do.

I was born with selective mutism and severe social phobia I feel like I can't connect with anyone in school and I feel like an outcast outside of the house

My selective mutism was so bad in elementary :/ bad memories

I'm 12 years old and have had selected mutism. I feel like I'm having anxiety over EVERYTHING. Whether it's my health my pets health or my family's health i can't stop worrying. And at school I feel like there is something in my throat and I can't speak. I try soooooo hard but I can't. My grandfather is so rude he yells at me for not speaking. When I was 9 I spoke to him for the first time since I was a baby he ignored me later said "see what it feels like!!" When I'm at school I have NO confidence. I'm afraid to move. I can't even stand up from my chair without having a flash of anxiety go through my body. And my mom is so supportive of me and I have therapy and meds. I'm so afraid I will never get better. And people act like I'm fine and act like nothing is wrong and people yell at me to chill. I hate that. I just want to not worry about everything and not be afraid of everything and everyone. It brings me down. Can anyone relate??😔😔😳😳😳

omg i've had selective mutism basically my whole life (i'm almost 19 now). and i mean like really bad. my whole life is just filled with uncomfortable situations ugh glad i'm not alone! even tho i'm pretty much alone irl

When I’m at home I’m really loud and have no problem talking but as soon as I go to a store or school or something my voice goes down to a whisper. And I hate it when the situation calls for me to talk louder. I’ve tried to, but I just can’t. And whenever someone at school talks to me I just nod my head and answer in the shortest way possible when I have to. I’d love to talk to them but I just feel that I can’t. But I think I’ve gotten slightly better because I can talk to random strangers and teachers, but after I run the conversation through my head over and over until what I said sounds dumb. I’ve been trying to stop doing it but I usually don’t have any distractions. Whoops, I just realized how long this has gotten. I’m going to stop here before it gets any longer.

I've had Selective Mutism since I was born. It has caused me to miss out on so so so much in my life. I've never been able to participate in gym classes and raising my hand in class is a nightmare. School was and still is hell. I've been bullied because i couldn't talk and I've been taken advantage of my entire life by classmates and other peers. Because of SM I have trust issues because of people embarrassing me and taking advantage of me.

I've had selective mutism all my life I'm now 25 and still the same. Watching your video I hope to be confident one day. Listening to you is very helpful.

I am suffering from this rn, it is rlly hard at school because there r some people who just don't understand me😔. But I kno that I'm not alone x

I had selective mutism and didn't speak at school expect whisper to a really close friend and a couple of other friends. Not many people really understood it and I remember going to psychologists and was on medication for a little which didn't really help. When I was 12 and started at secondary school I started to speak and gain more and more confidence slowly. Now 16, I am confident enough to speak in front of the class and do orals. What you have explained is extremely similar to how I felt.

I relate so much. I was a child in the 80s so there was no understanding at all.

Am I the only one who panicked when they were little and the teacher would say, *”don’t raise your hands I’m picking randomly”* I was always scared so I’d try to hide, I always got picked but my teacher would get mad because I was to quiet...I got really upset so I just ended up only speaking to my very best friend and my family..my voice changed a lot and everybody was so surprised when I accidentally said something loud, they thought my voice was weird because they never heard it before and I was really scared, I didn’t talk to anyone for the rest of the day..I got really scared of talking to people because I thought they’d judge me, I only talk to my family and my best friend...my other friends I don’t really talk too..

I had this up until last year when I was fourteen and can now talk to almost anyone but am now very social awkward because of the lack of social situations I was put into when I was younger. I had about five different people come into the school and try to help me by talking to me and trying to have me express my feelings through writing. Personally I think that this made me feel about as uncomfortable as putting me in a room of people because I was taken out of my regular class and put on the spot to go into a quiet room with a table, crayons and such. I felt out of place and like there was something wrong with me. I felt paralyzed when someone would try and talk to me and was so scared in younger grades that I would not even nod or move but sometimes wet myself. I later on stopped feeling as strongly and stopped wetting myself and started to nod to familiar people but never to strangers. The elementery school I went to blamed my mom for not talking and thought that she had done something to me to make me afraid enough or that she had tramatized me and I got it from that when it only started when I started going into school. I was excluded from school events like plays and reading sessions and was often put at levels of reading levels much easier than I was at because they had no proof I was understanding what I was reading and that led up to junior high. I too was placed into unwanted social situations like swimming lessons, ballet and eventually after school activities but would cry. I do not feel I benefitted very much to anyone coming in to speak with me about my problem although most young kids do. I finally got over it after my homeroom teacher put me into groups with another girl that seemed to be more extroverted and tried to get to know me throughout the year. My teacher then had me come in every morning before school started with said friend to sit in the class empty and if I felt comfortable, talk, if not, I could write. It did not put me on the spot with an adult and I was in a familiar area with someone I got to know better though that year. I very much enjoyed this video and can relate to a large majority of what you mentioned although I do not feel that my selective mutism was connected with my self confidence. Overall great video and really hope that your video makes some parents going through this possibly understand it a bit better!

So glad to see how many people do Selective Mutism on this video! Also, I say “do” not “have”, as SM is not a disease, it is just a phase! For those who do SM, I know the struggle of this: little kids who won’t stop asking your name, people trying to use sign language, nonstop questions of “Will you talk to me?”, etc. It’s all very akward. I’m in the middle of fixing SM. When I was little I never smiled with friends. Now I smile at random strangers. One time at a party in Kindergarten I was shaking like crazy when I was eating cake only because my teacher was there. Now, I whisper to my whole class and most of my teachers. (This took a whole year) The next step I whispering openly class instead of in people’s ears. Next, talking. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬 I know what being pressured to talk is like. Same with stepping out of line / doing something wrong (AHHHHHHHH) And when people don’t understand that you don’t want to talk. And when you are the center of attention. People judging you, people asking if it’s because of them, feeling like you are a tiny ant in a world of sky scrapers, feeling stuck in your own head, being on vacation and scanning the room for that one family member you don’t talk to before talking, feeling like you are drowning in a room echoing with loud sounds (like talking). Selective Mutism may be scary, but (if you do it) YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS!!!!!!!!!

i cried watching this because everything completely relates to me & i got in trouble a lot in middle school for not talking. now that i'm in high school though i've gotten better and can actually talk & have fun at school instead of being trapped and scared.

anyone who has selective mutism wanna be friends? I would like to be friends with someone who has the same disorder like me :)

I suffer from selective mutism. I have a hard time making friends, so I only have about 2 friends. They don't understand me. I can talk perfectly fine over face time with them and over the phone, but in public I'm dead silent. When they sit with their other friends and I sit with them, I'm left out. Their friends don't understand either. Everyone in my school gives me weird looks too. In the hallway they look at me like I'm disabled and CAN'T speak, but really I can speak and want to speak more than anything. People don't let me sit by them at lunch or on the bus. In gym class they purposely hit me with the ball just to put me in an uncomfortable situation.. Even if they're on my TEAM they hit me with a ball to be a jerk and make me feel weak. In the lunch line people cut in front of me just because they know I won't do or say anything about it. Every second of this video was relatable. I felt relieved that other people have gone through what I am going through with in my life. It makes me a little bit more confident that you have broken your silence and I hope that one day I can "break the silence" too! xx

Such a harsh thing to go through. My prayers go out to anyone who suffers from this. YOU WILL OVERCOME!

I suffer from this and thats why i get bullied..

I have selective mutism I feel like when I go to school I feel so scared it's like I freeze and I feel like people are just watching me I still don't talk to my teacher and any adults I talk to my friend I never used to talk to my friends because of my voice my voice is really high once I was at camp this girl asked me something and I didn't answer and she called me rude I felt like crying an getting in trouble that's the worst

I convert my feelings onto poetry

I was diagnosed when I was 3 and I'm nearly 18 and still can't to anyone but my mum and sisters.

YES FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT! Everything in this video describes me. Including the fact that being forced into talking totally clams me up like nothing else, and gives me a nice anxiety ride to go along with it. I love how at the end you mentioned thinking of yourself as a person everyone loves, that's great advice. I had a similar background, where people would say hello to me and I would not reply. I remember also feeling helpless as a kid like, why am I different than them? And even up to recently my quietness (which I now think is SM) has made me feel insecure. But I think I've gained more discipline... it's a thing where many times I literally cannot speak, but certain moments I can force myself to talk. Even if it's awkward, even if it comes out super messy, I tell myself it's good practice and I'll get better. I think I will, I just have to keep pushing forward and remember that my quietness DOES NOT DEFINE ME. It's not who I am. I am more than this. I am created in the image of the one true God, and He makes everyone special and beautiful. No exceptions. (Also you have an awesome personality just saying!😊)

Thank you for making this video because I've had this since I was 5 and nobody ever really understands what it is. I hope more people understand it because it has affected my life so much. It's an absolutely awful feeling and when I was younger some people didn't understand and they thought it was a choice of not speaking and they would yell at my and it would be so much worse. It still affects me today but I've gotten a lot better and I hope everyone else is doing well. I truly appreciate this video, it made me feel better!!! Thank you!!!

Tbh,I've never heard of this before.Really interesting!

I can.. well not so easily.. but I can talk to complete strangers that I probably will never see again but not my friends or best friend I've known all my life or teachers or anyone (except family) I know but I find it easy to talk to people online. 😂😂 and in school I litteraly have a breakdown when it's drama.. no one knows I gotta work with people I don't know or bullies

I think this definitely relates a lot with social anxiety. I can totally relate. I get so afraid to go somewhere out in public alone. Afraid of people watching me, or having strangers try to talk to me. This awkward, uncomfortable, and weird feeling. Hard to describe but I appreciate you being so open with it!

Does anyone have it a lot of the time but every now and then feel like a rush of energy then all of a sudden feel your able to talk and do all the things you usually can't, for me this happens so sometimes I think I'm over it but it always comes back again

Thank you for the video Georgie! I was diagnosed with selective mutism when I started pre-school, (early to mid 90s). I received speech therapy up until the age of 14. Today, at 29 years old, I still struggle with it, not as bad as before, but there is still a struggle, especially when wanting to get to know someone. I would deliver best when we exchange thoughts on social media, messenger... but when it comes to meeting in person I'm not myself and I can't act like the person I am today, except with close friends and family. I did everything I could think of to overcome this. I waitressed for 8 years, bartended for 2 years, worked in customer service for over a decade, I taught English overseas for 4 years. I've traveled SOLO to over 20 countries. Ive been working non-stop since the age of 15. I had no choice but to survive on my own to make ends meet, even though I knew I still struggled with selective mutism/anxiety and I knew I had to take some time to see a specialist about it but never really had the time nor money to meet with one. I didn't even know how I could start doing that. Now I am currently living in South America, and I have been on a mental break for months. I still travel very lightly, not as much as before but I have noticed a huge difference in focus which is another problem I struggled with FOR YEARS. The main thing I want to fix is being comfortable when having a conversation with someone I don't know. Anyway, I have always been a confident person but when it comes to dating my mind shuts down and I sound like someone who just started learning English a week ago. Again, I have gotten much better, overcame so much, but I still don't sound natural and the last thing I want to do is start telling the people who I want to date that I have selective mutism. I apologize if I rambled on, just wanted to talk my background... So, how has dating worked for you? Thank you, Natasha

I have selective mutism. And it's so strange how it affects people differently. See I wouldnt be able to sit at the camera like you and talk.

I am 50 years old. I have seen a minimum of ten psychiatrists and none of them has diagnosed me with SM. They even comment that I am very quiet. Not quiet-but silent. I have taken so many RX's and no help.Something was triggering my depression, anxiety, and social anxiety disorder.After last night's Christmas and how embarrassed I was to not be able to speak in the group and abruptly leave the room, I knew there was something else wrong. I've been this way for thirty-five plus years. I traced my condition back to being verbally bullied by my brother. Each time I said something he'd say "shut up, you're stupid", "you're dumb". So, as the years went on when i tried to speak publicly and before i'd say what was on my mind, i heard my brother's insults coming from the people i was speaking with. So, i stayed mum. But as the years went by it became more apparent to myself and others of how quiet i was. Complete embarrassment. I've avoided crowds and can only speak to people on a one on one basis to this day. I'm glad i searched my condition on the web and found all of you fellow sufferers. Professionals aren't even aware of our conditions because, from what i could find, we are only .08% of the population. Sorry if i rambled. I'll pray for all of us and we are not alone. if you'd like to email me to compare our conditions, my email is paulpalmer222@yahoo.com ....Hang in there!

I am very happy that you uploaded thus video, I never knew this was a thing xx hope your okay :)) 💗💗

...i think im a selective mute...i have always been like that, i can totally relate. i havent spoken in school for 8 years, apart from my really close friends, i cant even talk to most of the people in my friend group coz im affraid that they will juge me

Thanks for posting. I had Selective Mutism from birth to age 13. I'm eighteen now and am doing great. I would encourage anyone who is still suffering from SM to have hope, because SM can be beaten and once a person beats it they will be much stronger because of it. I also think people with SM develop a strong sense of individuality and that can help distinguish a person later in life.

Wow, when you talked about the swimming part in your childhood, it made me realize that THAT is why I don't have a swimming license right now. It's because of the SM I had (from the day I was born to 10 years old) . I have never thought about it like this before and how it affects my everyday life right now. Great video and good to hear that you are (kinda) recovered from this!

Selective mutism is hard, I didn't talk to most members of my family because I'd never really met them.People don't know just how hard it is. I grew up for five years with very limited support from anyone, it made me feel neglected and upset. It's very pressuring when someone who you don't know or don't like just asks, why don't you talk? Every day I went through this at school, all the kids would question me on a daily basis, all the teachers tried to force me into talking, all except three people. Three people in my life made me feel safe and secure, not even family. Two friends and my old principal. Too see people from my kind of background talking about it just makes me feel so overjoyed. In my first two years I just wandered the grounds alone and doing nothing, that all changed when another lonely girl joined, she made me feel wanted and when people saw I could talk and I was a good person inside they made an effort. These days I still get bullied and I still get those stupid questions. It is so discouraging and I had to go to a clinic to help me. Early childhood was the worst time in my life. Adults think they know but they don't. They don't know until they experience it and can put themselves in our shoes. That was how I talked to my first adult. For two years he tried to get me to talk and when the third year came, he understood. When someone cares so much about you that they can understand you it makes you feel so great. 95% of teachers who think they know what they are talking about when they try to help don't. They left scars. I'll never forget what they tried to force me into. But now I'm a complete chatterbox, that proves if you choose to care it truly makes a difference.Next time you think you know how a selective mute feels, think again because sometimes you really don't(that's to you viewers not the channel owner)

I have 2 daughters who have selective mutism. Both also have ADHD and Dyslexia. It seems to be hereditary. Your video describes me, and my daughters. suffering from selective mutism and dealing with selective mute children I have some parenting tips. One child is 14 and one is 26, so I have had time to reflect on these girls. With my 26 year old I just kept telling her to say hi back or the other children will think you are being rude. I had difficulty understanding that it is a mental illness that the child cannot control. Fortunately, with my second child I am able to understand it better. I worked very hard making friends for my child, and she had cousins, close to her age, that she would spend a lot of time with. When the kids are young parents are the ones who are put off by the mutism. They think the child is being rude. Then I found a friend that she likes. In the beginning I would carry on the conversations for my daughter. (no awkward silence. ) Then I would use the friend to get her to do sports. When I wanted my daughter to try something new I would talk her friend into going with us. (She is now very comfortable at her sport, and no longer needs her friend to go with her) Most important thing is to maintain a great relationship with these children, because they are quick to shut down and any tiny insult or anger towards the child is amplified in their mind by 100. My older daughter grew out of her mutism when she had her first child. My second child is doing fantastic and talks almost everywhere. She does not talk to my in laws, because she was pushed to communicate here. It is a long difficult road just have patience and all will turn out fine. ** strange note my daughters would order at only 1 restaurant - This restaurant was loud, people threw paper at each other, and the waters were supposed to be rude to you, (strang)**

This was super interesting! Found this video because I just made one on my personal experiences growing up with selective mutism. You are so much more informed than me. I always thought that when I started talking to people it was over and never gave much thought about it - despite being extremely shy to this day. Even when you talked about not being able to enter rooms or talk in certain situations because you just can't, that still happens often. It's so frustrating when people don't understand or just think I'm being stubborn. I'm ok with flying overseas alone but for some reason I still struggle with talking on the phone or ordering meals. It's so strange.

I come back to this video every once in a while to remind myself that I'm not alone ♡

when I was in primary school I didn't talk at all for about 3 years, I'm much better now but I just wanted to thank you for making this video

I had a friend with SM (from age 8-14 years) and today I'm 30 so it was some years ago. But I did not knew, NO BODY knew why she was not talking. I remember when I often told her "you don't have to be ashame of your voice, you have a cute voice" (once I heard when she spoke to her dad, she did not know I was in her room) . I think every parent should tell friends/parents about this condition because I think that she felt more anxity when I told her that about her voice and other stuff like "please, cant you just talk, I know you can because I heard you once" etc. I often wonder if she talk today. All I know is that in grade 9 she still does not spoke a single word.. ps. Thanks for sharing your story and sorry for my english :)

My son has this. He never spoke until he was 5. We had him in speech therapy and everything, but now we realize that it was an anxiety issue. He is 8 now and speaks. Thank you so much for sharing this! It helps me understand what he is thinking. Thank you!

You feel you are the only one who has this when you are young. I wish i could hug my younger self and tell that it'd be fine because it was never that way. I never felt comforted by anyone for my situation. It was a miserable experience to go through 10 years of silence.

It's so strange to look back at things now knowing that it isn't a normal way for a child to behave. I knew I was different and didn't fit in but why didn't an adult pick up on that and help me? I never spoke to anyone apart from close family members, even when the attendance register was being read at school I couldn't answer. I started growing out of it when I was about 14/15. I'm 32 now and have really bad problems with depression and anxiety, I'm also seeing a therapist who is pretty certain that I'm on the autism spectrum.

my 5 year old has selective mutism and i just wanted to tell everyone that has this condition, that we love hearing you and we dont care and wont judges if you make mistakes we just love hearing ur taughts and geting to know ur personality.

I remember myself not being able to talk when I was 3 but it didn't last long I started talking to a lot of people when I was 6 probably cuz when I went to primary school, it was a new school and nobody knew me and I could be a new person so that's probably where I got the confidence to talk?

Thank you so much for this video! My son has this and it helps me understand him so much better. I can see many of the things I’ve done to try to “help” him have only hurt him. I’ve forwarded this video to him and I hope he’ll read the comments. Also. I totally admire how you’ve overcome this.

This is awesome! Congratulations for overcoming your anxiety. My daughter (6) had SM which is how I came across this video. Your video helped. We definitely won’t pressure her. We are trying to boost her confidence as much as we can. It is so hard. Thank you.

my daughter is turning 13 next month and she's diagnosed selective mutisum. And seeing you and knowing you've gotten over the disorder brings me hope

Loved your video and thanks for making it. Selective mutism is something we almost never talk about, this is literally why I didn't know that I had it for years until someone I knew mentioned that they had it. I looked it up and to my surprise, it perfectly described years of my life. Thankfully I'm slightly better now and someday I might be even able to speak to all the people or pick up phone calls without hating my own existence.

In year 6 I had a teacher where everyday I would have to read a part of a book to them in a room with no one else apart from the teacher and I just couldn’t do it and they just kept saying “come on just speak you aren’t going back to your lesson until you speak” and it was so bad

Holy shit the fireplace on the background. Humor master right here

I have low level Selective Mutism (SM). 90% of people with SM also have Social Anxiety. However, 10% do not have Social Anxiety. I think the nervous system freeze response might have something to do with SM. There's some good info on the freeze response within Stephen Porges Polyvagal Theory. There are quite a number of interviews with him on KZfaq. Also, have a look at Irene Lyon's nervous system work, particularly the idea of functional freeze.

This was a very interesting video!! I have anxiety and worry about everyone! I feel the same. I don't/didn't want to talk to people because I was always worried I would say the wrong thing. When I was in college I would have a panic attack because I was so worried I would go to the wrong class room. I would always carry about my class list so I could double check everyday. Some people don't get what it's like. Great video!

Thank you for the video, I have a son that suffers from this condition and I am trying to help him overcome it, and watching your video has helped me understand what is going on in his head. Thank you for sharing your experience with us! :)

I was diagnosed with aspergers but I'm totally fine around people I'm comfortable with, I don't struggle with any symptoms other than social anxiety and I used to have selective mutism as a child. I'd be totally confident and get on great with my closer friends but I couldn't talk around anyone else. I moved schools when I was 11 and I never settled again after that, I was only comfortable around my one bestfriend who just ended up ditching me because everyone thought I was so mute and queit it was weird.

I have had this my entire life, but thankfully it's not as bad as it was when I was younger. I am now 12. I didn't talk at all in preschool, just one kid, but only when no one was around. I did go to counselling, one was quite forceful, so I went to another and they slowly made me talk, and we played games and talked about my week, and it helped me, I did that until like 1st grade. I do regret not talking to people because I never talked to my great granpap and I wish I did, actually I planned on say something the next time I saw him but I couldn't, so I talk to family members more. I say hi and thankyou and such really quietly to a point where no one can here me, and I hate it cause everyone thinks I am being rude, but I am really kind and courteous. I do really want to talk to people, but I panic and think they're gonna judge me, and find me weird. I am weird and I know people judge me by the way people act around me. I can hear it in their voices they treat me like a young child, and I am mature for my age, people have thought I am an upper classman in highschool, but im not! I don't have many friends I trust, and my one friend I do some what trust, I am not even her first choice. For example, I have a feild trip coming up and I need someone to sit by on the bus, but my one friend says she already has a partner and her partner the only thing they ever talk about is this one boy who is 2 years older than us. So now I have to sit by someone I don't like or I am uncomfortable with. It is not just talking I worry about its how I act, dress, or how i do my hair I think people will judge me and say I look dumb I guess I don't have much confindence. I am also like scared to talk or tell my mom anything I feel she will think I am doing something I am not supposed to, so i feel that my entire family judges me and the only person I can truly trust is myself which sounds sad and depressing! XD But I have one important question I love film and photography, and I have been wanting to start a KZfaq channel, did your KZfaq channel help ou with your selective mutism?? Thanks for reading!

I also had selective mutism all way through pre school and middle school. It all got better in high school. I still have it sometimes as an adult now. I am very quiet with a new group of people but after a while I start getting all chatty and funny. I start getting out of my shell more.

I wasn't diagnosed with selectively mutism because my parents added it up to me just being shy. But since I'm too afraid to actually say anything I never told anyone I physically can't say anything. When I do talk my voice is too low according to other people and when I have to a presentation in class I feel like I'm being pressured and my voice is quiet and shaky and I'm terrified and end up forgetting what I was even going to present in the first place. I might tell my father... He might help me, I don't know... I think this might've originally from 6th grade because I used to get bullied a lot. It was from threatening me to wear certain things on certain days or for me to get into a fight with them (I got into a fight with them in 7th grade and it ended with me getting jumped and my hair pulled) or to curse at the teachers I love or even to skip class since I was a goody-goody back then. They used to insulted me daily and it didn't my confidence at all... And you want to know the icing on the cake? They used to be my friends. It didn't help that I actually developed depression during my 2nd half of 7th grade due to issues at home... I told my mom she told me I was just shy... It's really becoming a problem now since I'm getting older... I'm 16 and can't do a presentation without physically shaking or freezing up so I don't know what to do... This used to be so much easier in Elementary School...

I had this as a child and I still have it. However I do not dislike louder people as long as they are nice and friendly. I admire people who can just let go of inner thoughts in social situations because that is something I could never do. I feel sometimes bad about having this because I do not want to come off as rude but I can't help it. I like to sit back and observe sometimes more than other times. Sometimes I wish i could talk like everyone else but I feel I am not that interesting heheh so I just shut up. xD

This is such a great video, thank you so much for sharing! I've experienced panic attacks in the past and I've had problems with anxiety so I understand you on some level, you should be so proud to have come through this!! ☁️️🌸💜

My daughter is 4 and she has this. It's breaking my heart, but seeing how aware you are and how you've overcome it gives me hope.

This is actually the first time that I feel soooooo understood.....I'm in tears...

This is so sad. Ify so much tho. Like whenever I felt like I didn't belong I became completely quiet and didn't talk! You are such a sweet girl defending other girls. Good Job! New subbie

This is so awesome, I personally never understood this concept and now I understand a lot more. Really interesting, and it's definitely opened my eyes.

I think I have selective mutism. Half way through my first year in high school my parents decided for our family to move to another country. I couldn't speak to anyone at school and it really affected my grades. It's been 2 years since then and nothing's changed. I even had to repeat a year...

I'm 20 now and I've had selective mutism for as long as I can remember. But I never really feel anxiety unless there's a situation where I am being really pressured by someone. Most of the time I can feel very calm with people outside my family and wanting to start talking is not even in my head anymore. I have lived with this condition for such a long time that I forgot that I have it.

I’m a freshmen in high school, I was born with selective mutism. In kindergarten I wouldn’t say a word to the teacher and I would have to whisper in my friends’ ears to talk to them. In 1st grade I started raising my hand and actually talking to people. As of today though now in high school it’s different, I feel like I can’t have a real conversation with people, everybody thinks I’m stupid even though I’m in two honors classes. I’m just quiet and observant, that doesn’t make me dumb. I can really only have normal conversations with like 4 people in my class. Everybody looks at me like I’m a loser or something, nobody at school actually knows I have selective mutism. My family on the other hand, they all obviously know that I have selective mutism, I think my parents think it’s cured or something, they never mention it, my brothers use it as an insult when we get into an argument, if I stop talking they say “his selective mutism just kicked in” like I can’t control it, I just feel like nobody gets me, nobody understands me, for the first like 10 years of my life I didn’t even know I had selective mutism and I was first informed by my brother during and argument. I remember in 7th grade when we went over vocab words the teacher would call on people to come up with sentences using that word in the right way, every time the teacher called on me I couldn’t talk. Now anytime anybody at my school tries to talk to me I just smile at them and they think I’m weird, I think that everybody else thinks I’m some sort of creep because I’m constantly alone, I hate having to worry about every word that comes out of my mouth, please somebody give me some advice

This is very helpful, my 6 year old son has selective mutism and he says he doesn't talk because he's scared, I've tried to explain to him that nothing will happen, but he just feels like something will. We've been taking him to a psychologist and he says that we're at the point where there needs to be consequences for him not talking, I don't really agree with that, especially after watching your video, the school speech therapist has told us to let him be, not to force him to talk, that it will come from him. That's what I think will be best for him, thanks for your video, as a parent it's really helpful to hear from people that have this same condition.

I have selective mutism it started when I was 3 and I'm about to be 12 I only talk to 2 of my sisters one friend and my mom that's all it hurts me that I want to talk but I can't but I can I don't understand

My mum told me today that I had selective mutism for 4 years (I was too young to remember apart from a few scenarios). I think it defiantly makes sense now why there are some days where I can't walk into my classes, not because I don't want to, but because I physically can't. Its really hard to explain that to people because they think I'm just skipping class and its infuriating. Thank you for helping me make sense of this :)

I use kiosks at fast food restaraunts and if I have to buy things, I nod and shake my head or what ever. I use my phone to communicate a lot.

i'm 13 and i've had it since the age of 4 and still have it now. i only talk to my mum, brothers and nanna and 3 friends, everyone else i can't talk to

One of my best friends in middle school had this. He was a new kid at school, I was blessed i was actually the only person to get him to talk, but only with me.

I don’t know if I have selective mutism, maybe it’s just mild. I suppose when I need to talk I can talk but it’s not really me. Like once I say something I’m like “wtf why did I say that, I would never say that” and then I come up with a better response. I am absolutely petrified of talking I hate it so much, I feel like whatever I say people will just judge me. And I want to talk so badlyyyyyy but people think it’s because I just don’t want to but I do. I try to talk and sometimes nothing even comes out. People sometimes think I’m being rude if I don’t say hello back and stuff. And also sometimes I talk and it’s just so quiet and I don’t mean it. I try to talk louder but I can’t. I absolutely am just hating life and myself honestly feel like I’m missing out on my teenage years (I’m 15). I have hardly any friends but that’s probably because I can’t actually talk to anyone else😂 Recently I went for a haircut (well I tried to) but me and my mum were outside in the car and I felt like I couldn’t get out, I thought I was about to faint. Just the thought of having to say hello as I walk in and then people looking at me PETRIFIES ME honestly the thought makes me want to burst out into tears😂 I don’t know if you’ll reply or even see this but this is the first video if really watched on selective mutism and omg I couldn’t relate more. I used to spend every night being sick at the thought of sports day. People looking at me gives me so much anxiety. I used to always wish I could just stay in silence my entire life. I tried to learn sign language once just so I could pretend I was deaf😂

Thanks for sharing your story! I can relate to a lot of what you said

This was really interesting, I've known someone with this before and it's interesting to hear your perspective on it xxx

Thank you for the video! I got diagnosed with selective mutism when i was 4. In my memory I didn't talk till i was 15 in a classroom setting. Atm i am a junior in high school. People think i'm weird..I don't have friends. I just sit in the back and feel the only place that understands me is the internet. My mom refuses to believe I have it..since I scream of happiness at home and when i'm not home I shush. She will never understand it..People at my school like to call me on all those stupid social media apps..weird freak..if you talked no one would hate you. everyone hates you because you are a freak who won't talk. I even got told to harm myself..I haven't made it to adulthood yet and it's causing me pain..I went for a few years to behavioral therapy..but nothings helps :c I really don't know what to do with myself. I suffered from cancer..and a bad childhood and when I thought..that I was healthy I would be fine..I just felt lonelier..I feel so lonely I wish I was sick again sometimes and ik its horrible..but it's the truth :c -Thats my life thru selective mutism so far :)

At school was the WORST I heard a thump from my heart but my friend saved me I think my ears and face turn all red😅

I've recently been meeting up with people with autism who brought up the subject of selective mutism. I'm starting to recognise why I didn't start speaking until I was around 6 and finding out more about it because of seemingly intractible communication problems I'm experiencing over 30 years later - which I think may well be related. Thank you for articulating it so well.

The only people I can talk to is my mom, my big brother and a few close friends. Anytime I try to talk to someone else my throat closes up and it's hard to breathe. My dad's an alcoholic and my parents have broken up. My mom got married to another man and they've been together for a few years, turns out he's an alcoholic too, and when he's drunk he gets abusive.They did make a promise to never drink again, but I still don't trust him or feel safe around him. Five years ago my brother got leukemia (blood cancer) and his legs got amputated, he has prostheses now and is recovering, but every night I'm scared because anything might happen, my stepdad might drink and start doing something to my mom, or something might happen to my brother, I guess it's paranoia. I do go to a therapist but my mom comes with me, so I whisper something in her ear, and she explains it to the therapist, but I don't feel like I can say everything I want to say there because my mom's there. I can't even write on paper to communicate to someone, I'd rather force a word or two.

Guess what I have selective mutism too. I always feel left out in class discussions and subsitute teachers always get mad because I don’t talk or anything and I feel so icolated

I have a friend with selective mutism and I am doing everything I can think of and nothing is working However your video was extreamly helpful and so was the people in the comment section enlighning me as to other ways this mental illness affects her for 2 reasons 1 being that I have been grasping straws up until now and contemlapting ways to help has resulted in sleepless nights and the only solution her mother has suggested thus far has been to ask her questions to get to know her which has not worked many of the questions I have asked have been meet with a shrug and I could ask her to communicate via text but I dont want to apply any pressure and reason 2 being I have something to compare against because my mother claims that my friend might be pressured into keeping quiet and she says that the team of specialists believe that as well and whenever her mother would come to pta meetings at school she would ask for free aduio equipment and things of that nature so no I have something to compare my friends testemony of slective mutism againt although I genuinly belive that her mother hasn't done anything to this child its worth investigating all possibilitys if it means helping my friend

I've been diagnosed with selective mutism every since I was 4. I still have it to this day and your video is really inspiring to me! I don't see many youtubers talk about this topic and I don't have any friends that understand what selective mutism is or have this anxiety disorder. I would only talk to my mom, dad, and brother as well. I was also homeschooled during high school. I hating going to school, and talking face to face with people too! I hated people judging me as well! I still to this day feel very alone about this. I was very depressed when I was 14/15. I hate looking back at my childhood. One of the reasons why I started my youtube channel was to help me grow confidence and become less shy. By the way I'm camera shy! I'm an extremely shy person! I would love to be friends with you, maybe we could talk in private. I feel like we would have a lot in common. I hope to become where you are now as I'm not yet comfortable talking in front of a camera. Your gorgeous by the way! ❤️❤️❤️Love your video! Do you have Instagram? Mine is @jazzminkaita

interesting video hun. thanks for sharing. i think my daughter suffers from this too. xx

WOw I didn't know this was a thing...Really interesting, thanks so much for sharing and letting us into your life! 💕💕💕

I found you beacuse I have selective mutism and I’m very proud of you for postering this!💗

I used to have this as a child I never knew it was a thing until today. I used to be completely mute in elementary school. The schools thought I was going through something at home or that I was traumatized. The school had social workers give weekly check ups at my home. And I had counselors at school. I don’t think anybody knew what I had. I now suffer from anxiety on the daily and I used to get panic attacks a few years back. I’m just now realizing my anxiety goes much further back then I thought.

I’ve had selective mutism my entire life, and i feel really emotional every time I’ll think about it, there’s just so many things that ur not able to do knowing the everyone else can do it without worry. And i know that there’s loads of other people out there suffering the same thing but not knowing anyone else with it is just hard, especially when you want to be able to talk to someone who knows fully well of what’s going on

I have selective mutism and just yesterday I went live on instagram and talked to my friends and I sent a video of me to my very best friend that has never heard me talk... I am still working on talking to more people because I don’t talk to my grandmas or grandpas, friends, teachers... because I have so much anxiety. Thank you so much for this video!

My little girl suffers, she is 3. But I know she will be fine as she has a family which loves her and supports her massively.

i have selective mutism but i’ve already overcame sooo many of my fears and i can now talk to my peers without being scared and it’s really the best feeling ever because i don’t have to deal with the amount of anxiety i use to deal with. i yet still have people like some of my extended family to open up my voice to them and it’s coming along slowly. going out of selective mutism slowly is the #1 best thing i’ve done and i’m proud of myself.

My niece has this. She's 10 now. But for about 5 years she never spoke to me. Now she still doesn't talk, but will make eye contact and gesture. She always spoke to my kids though (her cousins.) So it's interesting to hear your perspective on this. Great video.

I have a friend with selective mutism (she's moved to another province) and seems to be doing well and has a job as a server so I assume she's overcone it too. I've been trying to learn more about it since I never delved too much into it back then, I just accepted that she never talked at school or when we hungout but we would text and talk online all the time. People didn't make it easier with all the pressure they put on her by asking to hear her voice, I feel bad looking back now because I would ask a few times too. Good video!

I am 12 and I have Selective Mutism. My condition appeared when i was around 3 or 4 years old. before then, i was really loud and used to speak to everyone. for some reason, that stopped. i just stopped speaking to all of my family members other than my mum, my dad and my sister. nothing has changed since then and i don’t speak to my dads girlfriend either. i feel trapped and left out. i want to speak, but i can’t, and if i did i’d feel like everyone would be cheering and happy and like i was pressured my who life like i am. i have no idea if this will carry on for the rest of my life but i really don’t want it to. i really want to grow and get married and have children but everyday i have a recurring nightmare that i would have a boyfriend and they would have to meet my family who i don’t speak to. i don’t think any man would understand. i’m fine in school and i’m very outgoing with students but shyer with teachers but i still speak to them. i am honestly thinking of committing suicide and i have looked up different ways to do so. when i’m old enough i will be able to buy drugs and i can overdose to death. i am sick and i will never recover.

I’ve always thought I was the only one who couldn’t talk. I’ve always been like this but I’ve just recently found out about Selective Mutism. I’m 13 now and it is hard sometimes. Some people think I can not hear, talk, or speak english. I do try to challenge myself at school sometimes and it’s just take me so long to decide what I should say. To be honest I always end up not saying anything at all because when I try to speak, I feel like I’m about to cry. I don’t mean to be rude to people but usually I can not say anything and walk or look away when they talk to me. A few weeks ago I lost one of my closest friends, she sometimes acted like she was better than me and did things a friend shouldn’t do because she knows I have very few friends and will not say anything or stand up to her since I didn’t not want to loose her. I do get called to the guidance counselor’s office sometimes because some teacher are concerned about me, but it make me very uncomfortable and makes me feel horrible. I always end up crying because I do not like talking about my “shyness” or generally talking about myself. Many people at school have come up to me and asked “ Can you only speak Japanese?” or, “Why do you have depression?” I don’t know if this happens with other people with Selective Mutism but I have a very hard time expressing emotion of talking about my emotions. I can not smile, laugh, talk or show how I feel at school mostly. I have very high anxiety and get nervous very easily.

Thabk you for sharing this! My daughter is 7 and I’ve just recently learned this is what she is suffering from.

I've had selective mutism for as long as I can remember. When I was in school I never said a word, expect for the rare occasion, but I do have some memories of my early elementary school years talking outside of the classroom. I like to think I would have overcome it eventually if I didn't have some of the teachers I had in elementary. I feel like they only exacerbated it because instead backing off and letting me warm up to everyone in the classroom like my mom suggested, they, thinking they knew better than my mom, tried pressuring me into talking. They only succeeded in giving me anxiety attacks. I had a teacher who once threatened me with a counselor referral when I wouldn't verbally ask to throw my trash away after lunch. And my fifth grade teacher used to make fun of me when I scratched at my arms, neck and face, which I tend to do when I'm feeling upset or pressured. I can still remember her asking me if that was some kind of new sign language. (I feel like I should mention that when I say I scratch at my arms I'm not hurting myself, I do it like I have an itch.) I'm 28 years old, still suffering with selective mutism, but I'm also trying to find a job and hopefully somewhat overcome it.