I asked the lady at the library where I could find the self-help section. She refused to help, stating that doing so would "defeat the whole point."

The problem is not self improvement itself, but the self improvement INDUSTRY, the content creation that wants you to FEEL better for watching videos or reading books about how to get better instead of wanting you to actually BE better. That's why self improvement is something active, that you should do. It's not passive, not something you should consume. But I don't want to generalize. There are a lot of helpful and life changing books, videos and podcasts, but they mean nothing if you don't do the hard work by yourself. Beware of only studying the theory that tells you how to improve and not actually improving. Also, don't forget the balance between the happiness due to what you have already conquered and desire to conquer more. Always be greatfull for how great you have become until now, but never stop looking for being greater. "I'm much better than I was, but I'm much worse than who I can be. I have achieved a lot in comparison with my past self, but it's little in comparison with what I can achieve." Peace

True self Improvent isnt about making you or anyone one else rich, it is about creating the tools to understand your self, your motivations and how not to be manipulated to the benefit and betterment of others 😎☕💋

Most people who scroll through videos on self-help, constantly-are practically trapped into it. It's their addiction.

The thing about self-improvement, is that it has to be SELF improvement, no one else can tell you how to improve yourself. You must find what you need, and work hard to achieve it. Self improvement essentially changed my life for the better, and I would not be where I am today if I didn't look at myself and make the change. So no, self improvement is not bad, it's just the fake copy and paste "lifestyle influencers" that are bad. Self improvement is one of the greatest things I've ever done.

Just look at life with more playful eyes. Don't be serious. Seriousness becomes like a blindness. Don't pretend to be a thinker or philosopher. Just simply be a human being.

The most important part of self improvement is self love, truly understanding and loving yourself as the human individual you are. The problem comes when you lose sight of that, and what matters, which is your own life. You can't improve without introspection, reflection, gratitude, self awareness, and purpose. We as humans tend to focus on one aspect and put it above everything else, when in reality that balance and feeling true to yourself is the key. I've lived most of my life focusing on myself, the self awareness was there and yelling at me what I needed to do to be happy, but I never had a purpose beyond existing. That complacency of existing with relative ease made me furious, I had extreme ambition but a lack of desire, motivation, to act on it. I looked inward and did things that I thought would make me happy, but never truly understood what I wanted or why. Once I found a purpose, which was a dedicated process of finally living for myself and not what I wanted to be, I improved myself dramatically and almost instantly.

Self improvement is good if you do it by your own, and without following fashions. Find what you really like is the first step. People don’t know what they like usually because they are passive, and the marketing itself create this situation

05:03 There is no malicious intention in most self - help gurus’ teachings. The problem is that people read countless books on self improvement and expect their lives to magically change overnight without ever taking any action on implementing any of the lessons they may have learned while reading the books. The problem is not the gurus, the problem is people with unrealistic expectations.

It's mostly the outer pressure to change ourselves that makes us unhappy. Even if we live a healthy lifestyle, have no major financial problems or troubles in relationships, we still see people on the social media who achieve MORE than us and that DESIRE to achieve MORE never ends. It stems from the pure human vanity - to be admired, to be successful in the eyes of others, to be praised and therefore more liked, more loved. I personally believe that life is about gathering various experiences and trying to do something new each day, because life is too short and yet there are so many things to see, so many things to do, things to be discovered. Simply enjoying the process of living, without greater expectations of some unusual results. In the long run, it only matters for us what we do with our lifes - in the scale of the Universe, we are less than a grain of sand. The worst thing one can do is to lay down on bed and do nothing - the lost time is not coming back.

VSauce: Or is it?

Personally, I've given up on lofty goals as I'm now 37 years old. I've completely let myself go mentally and physically. Now, I just focus on day to day survival and avoiding toxic people, of which there are many.

Bloody hell, these are the types of videos people need to see more! Might switch up our style a bit!

I have done self improvement, I am now the most organized, healthiest,And productive I have ever been.

Toxic positivity, false assurance Avoiding negative emotions

Can't tell you how much I related to this topic for the very first time in my life. You really are different my friend.❤

The fact that we're watching this video in itself is a SELF HELP😂😂

Work on yourself physically and mentally. Take care of yourself, do the things that align to where you want to be in life. Start with small changes you can make and with time you will get there. You got this

At 11:29, you mentioned that you want to save this planet but I disagree since I believe that all conscious life on this planet should end in order to prevent further suffering. On this planet, the conscious suffering which exists clearly outweighs the non-suffering hence why it should all end. For example, assuming that lions and gazelles are sentient beings which I believe they are who can suffer, a lion who experiences stomach pains because it has not eaten in days is suffering. A gazelle who runs in fear and then gets its neck snapped by a lion is suffering. That is just one example of suffering which exists every single day and the only way to stop it is to end their lives peacefully if possible. So with all things considered, it makes logical sense to end all life on this planet in order to prevent more suffering.

You are absolutely right, self-help books often regurgitate the same script over and over again. All of them claim to have the potential to change your life entirely by taking your hand to the ultimate source of happiness. However, i'm highly convinced that if someone has the secret of transforming stone into gold he won't without a shadow of a doubt divulge this valuable piece of information because once he does it will be the end of his success/wealth.

Great video! Perfect channel 🙏 -Thank you for your gifts of wisdom sir👍

This video was so necessary! Thank you!

In photography, the term "aperture" refers to the opening in a camera lens through which light passes to reach the camera's image sensor or film. It is one of the three elements of the exposure triangle, along with shutter speed and ISO, that determines the overall exposure of an image. Photographers use aperture creatively to control the exposure, create selective focus, and achieve desired depth of field effects in their images. It's worth noting that different lenses have different maximum and minimum aperture settings, and the range of available apertures can impact the versatility and cost of a lens.

You make such exceptional informative content. This is one of the best channels on KZfaq. Thank you for your efforts.

this was a roller coaster of philosophies. It started sounding Hobbesian, transformed into something like AJ Ayer, back to Hobbes, and then to Epicurus and Marcus Aurelius. It may be my own fault, but the video was not very clear. My main takeaway was to not buy into the snake oil fallacies offered by companies. Good luck you all! I hope you achieve what you are striving for.

i learned more with the phrase "stop giving a fuck" than with self-improvement

Your videos are a treat to watch! Short and concised information. I love it. You have added so much to my life, you have no idea. I love gaining knowledge from this channel. Thankyouuu for these videos

Arthur Schopenhauer said that we should read a few books many times, instead of a new book everyday. That has stuck with me. I find that if I try to keep up with all the new self help books, I'll probably never learn anything from each book I've read. Instead, I go back and reread a book that had a profound impact on me and even better I take each step listed out on the book and try to reflect on it and practice it for sometime, as best as I can, before continuing with the book. Otherwise, these books just become a dopamine hit and fancy lines you regurgitate during gatherings to make you look cool.

SUPER NICE, this video helped improve on how I view self-improvement

"The desire more positive experience is itself is a negative experience and paradoxically the acceptance of a negative experience is itself a positive experience" mark manson

Keep up the incredible content my guy

i think another thing that really helped me to truly increase the quality of life that i lead is knowing. knowing is the truth. what i mean by that is seeing stones as stones and not as gems. look at things as they truly are and not by the lens that you have developed due to what others say about it. for example, instead of glorifying hustle culture and taking pride in the hectic schedules that you have, look at it as it truly is. what it truly is nothing but not having enough time to enjoy the things that we are here to enjoy but instead focussing too much on monetary values, which after a point is nothing but an obsession. when you look at it as it truly is, there is nothing that will over excite you, nothing you will be obsessed with, and nothing that would make you feel miserable. knowing is renunciation, and ignorance is indulgence. i too was involved in this self help cycle i believe, but then once and for all i decided to think about things for myself, instead of the one size fits all, and the result was simply realizing that the things that we are so worried about and give so much weightage to are simply due to the lens through which we view them, and more often than not it really really helps to see things for what they truly are, without any sort of filter that the world looks at it through.

Glad you mentioned Atomic Habits, for me it is the best book that when take into action will really change your lives. Oh, and the best action is to start working out ! Trust me, the rest will follow.

This is one of the best self-improvement video, I have seen lately.

honestly, you have helped me much more than any self care speaker.

I have a KZfaq addiction and I was trying to improve my self and quit my addiction. but after watching your video I have realised that self improvement is a ruining My life. Now I am spending time on social media with no worries because I know I am going to reach success in no time.Thanks

Be Careful Videos can be another form of Self-improvement. Saving videoes into playlist so you watch it later or as a material collection is also one form. Toxic Self-improvement really comes when the Security of Keeping "it" weighs more than the information contained in it. That's why Throwing away books that are causing suffering brings a huge relief. Trust Yourself. From to time to time ive found myself relying more heavily on others ideas and advice which has its place but ive never wanted to trust my decision because it is scary (im wrong or not following what was said). If you Trust Yourself maybe you'll find something.

made me truly realise that self success is different for everyone and no book or guru can tell you what to do to make it better

I think it's the pressure to self improve to get a better self image in society's right eye that is the problem with failed improvement. People don't try self improve anymore, they try look cuter for people to accept them

You raise some good points. I feel a lot of people fall prey to self help guru's because they want the easy way out. Nowadays people want to pay some money or watch some short video, "take these easy 5 for true happiness"!. All such a farce. True self help is hard and not hidden behind a pay wall, no easy way out. Like you say, it's eating healthy, getting good sleep and staying fit, with a healthy dose of self reflection, self realization and being conscious of your own ego and emotions. Training the mind especially, is just as hard, maybe even harder as training the body.

The only time self-help books ever helped me was after my ex moved out, leaving 2 shelves of self-help books behind. I boxed them up and donated them to the local library. It felt quite liberating and empowering to get rid of them!

Self help is a noble enterprise if it's something you do for you. Though it is worth the reminder that Alan Watts says quite clearly that 'There is nothing you can actually do to transform your own nature into unattached selflessness, because you have a selfish reason for wanting to do it.'

This is why you listen to someone like David goggins, he is aware the self help genre is full of crooks. He just gives you the cold hard facts and tells you that it's Ultimately your choice to do nothing or something.

This video reminds me of another one I watched from James Jani entitled, “The Toxic World of Self Help.”

I agree with this video so much. Instead of spending so much on self-help, it's better to just use that money to focus on mental health professionals. So many of these self-improvement people are obsessed with meditation, breath work regimens that are super strict. I feel better listening to content from licensed mental health professionals. Going through burnout right now. Not turning to self-help. Riding this wave and taking some time away from productivity. Now working on researching what career changes I am wanting to make. Not an easy process, but life's not easy. It's important to feel and work through negative emotions instead of "breath them out" like these self improvement gurus like to push.

I think self Improvement can help if specific actions are taken when reading 1. like finding an author who is successful at what they do like financially successful find a businessman author 2. Take notes and reread the entire book or reread a specific part 3. Sit n think afterwards about what needs to happen to move forward in your life create goals

Ur voice helps me sleep thanks

this was so very well explained.

I swear to god, whenever I have a question in my mind. Aperture uploads a video to answer that Exact question.

Agree, but few do help. I read Running on Empty (which helps explain cptsd to people who gone through it) and it caused me a mental breakdown which was necessary to change my life. read books written by psychologists and evolutionists

“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself and in no instance bypass the discriminations of reason? You have been given the principles that you ought to endorse, and you have endorsed them. What kind of teacher, then, are you still waiting for in order to refer your self - improvement to him? You are no longer a boy, but a full - grown man. If you are careless and lazy now and keep putting things off and always deferring the day after which you will attend to yourself, you will not notice that you are making no progress, but you will live and die as someone quite ordinary. From now on, then, resolve to live as a grown - up who is making progress, and make whatever you think best a law that you never set aside. And whenever you encounter anything that is difficult or pleasurable, or highly or lowly regarded, remember that the contest is now: you are at the Olympic Games, you cannot wait any longer, and that your progress is wrecked or preserved by a single day and a single event. That is how Socrates fulfilled himself by attending to nothing except reason in everything he encountered. And you, although you are not yet a Socrates, should live as someone who at least wants to be a Socrates.” by Epictetus

Without focus and determination nothing happens!

Thanks so much💜😻

Realized this many years ago and stopped reading them. Self-help books, Diet books, and Business books are all the same...a waste of money and time. I'm so glad you said this: "Work hard, eat healthy, exercise and focus on building healthy relationships", best advice for a society that is over-obsessed with navel-gazing, 'feelings', being stuck inside their own heads so much. If you have a real problem, see a professional and "don't sweat the small stuff"...you're probably just fine as you are.

For me, self help or self-improvement have changed my life. It has in some way made my life better. But I haven't really gotten rich, true relationships and/or success in my life. I have kind of succeded in school but not really beacuse I don't have the highest grades. Self help or selp improvement can actually make you're life in some way better if you take action, but as the youtuber Aperture said, toxic positivity is mostly involved in self help. To be more specific I've been watching red pill content where they are mostly focusing on masculinity and self help is also mostly involved in this topic. But what I really want to say to you everyone is that, you should love yourself despite what others in the social media or in internet in general say. Just do what fullfills you and take maybe also take care. Maybe you should stop watching social media or not, the funny thing is that iv'e heard that video games are better than social media. Maybe it is something for you to consider. But there are also many hobbies that you can do like, paint, read, playing instrument, workout or build something. You can also try to talk to people and get in to relationships. However one thing, if you can't really do these things, it is ok. I don't know what you are going through but there is a important thing that I want to note. Like in buddhism what they said, life is suffering and not just that. It is completely unfair due to the fact that some of us are more vunereabe than others due to diseases that can cause damage to our body. But don't worry it is outside of our control, that is what they are saying in stoicism which is a philosophy. Sometimes it is worth to be a bit pessimistic, you can try to accept the fact that there are many dark things about this world we live in. If you do that, you may be able to find things or hobbies that you enjoy, this can actually make you happy. Then don't be to pessimistic either beacuse you should alow yourself to be happy. I wish you all the best and god bless you.

05:30 That’s an interesting take, but long term it is actually more beneficial to provide a service that works. It’s like arguing that the local auto-mechanic wants your car to break down because they would go out of business if every car always worked perfectly, when the reality is that a bad service will ultimately lead to decreased customers over time.

I think the only self help channel Ive really found worth watching was Struthless. He comes off less like a “guru that knows all” and more like a “hey, im a mess but i discovered this thing and found it helped me out, here’s what it is and how to apply it.”

Truth !

So much truth in this video

Great job

I realized after my third or fourth self help book that just the actions of feeling like I was helping myself was self love but the obsession was when it became destructive. Then I took a huge break from reading self help books to just reading books I find interesting and that was another moment of self love.

In this modern age, it's important to develop a 6th sense for internet gurus. The first step when seeing a motivational or inspirational video is asking yourself, who's benefiting from this

Worthy of an Aperture video.⭐⭐⭐⭐

The inability to disassociate with the fumbles and fails experienced from those Self-Help habits. That is where the problem lies for those who get caught in a cycle where theyre unable to improve, or "Help Themselves".

So self improvement is not the lie, but consumism, like everything in this world

I found someone who loves me, for everything that I have been, am, and could be. She challenges me and encourages me, and has given me guidance through things I never even thought I needed it in. It’s thanks to her that I was able to improve and grow, and together we are succeeding and working to thrive. We can help ourselves to an extent, but when we have someone at our side to take our hand and help us through, we can become unstoppable.

Self-help's inherent flaw is this: It is SELF focused. When we finally realize (and then practice the belief) that life is about glorifying our Creator and then loving our neighbor as our self - only then - will we find a true deep joy. Try alleviating other's burdens and you will notice you're not thinking about yourself.

videos like this is why people will stay week so easily will the weak fall for the temptations of comfort

Great work. RMN MSc CBT.

sad reality but we must move forward and shape our own self-improvement path, like you said there is not one solution to everyone's problems. if they themselves didn't realize that and started thinking from themselves then with self-help our without they would be miserable. we have the brains for a reason, we are not animals, we are not robots to follow a rigid structure. and the thing is that deep down we ( our brains to be exact and it can be non conscious too) know that but still choose to find answers by following others because thinking for yourself is uncomfortable. me for an example identified my problem but still have the "problem" with it and it is discipline and changing my identity for the better, no more tricks, no more anything will change that, I have to face my problems with my own strength and somehow come up on top of all that resistance that I am feeling when I am doing something out of my damaged character. IN THE END IT COMES DOWN TO YOU- but in the actual end, because we differ, maybe you are better off listening to other people (as we said there is no universal truth or solution to 1 problem). if it works and you are happy, then continue but if you feel that you are making the same mistakes then you need to asses and analyze your own problems ( or contact someone personally, that would not be that bad)

Oftentimes I ponder how remarkably inefficient our world has become, mainly because everyone is so obsessed with making themselves better as individuals, far past the point of diminishing returns, instead of figuring out how to make us work better as a society. Also, it feels like self-help is one of the least effective ways to try to become better as an individual regardless. Why are so many people so blind to that?

Only advice I can give. Life is a journey. Bad days create experiences and good days create happiness.

Never thought about self improvement like this

this tumbnail is lowkey kinda scary

I'm still pretty young(17y) but I still feel like I could do more in my life. I feel like I wasted a few years and I feel like this since the age of 15. Since then I never did anything but going to school and being home.

Bro that thumbnail is haunting

Self-improvement such as gym,sports or just having a basic routine can be very helpfup. But other than that it all depends on you and most of the time if you don't like something but its 'right' you kinda feel bad for not doing it and you do it but then the mental thing hits you and as time goes on you might actually be going crazy just to follow up the journey. Just do the things you like and if they are bad in moderation this is (self-improvement) and gradually become better and better but don't force it on people. People don't really like the idea of improving etc etc.. they like their life as it is and thats it.

*work hard* *eat healthy* *exercise* *positive relationships* weep

If someone teaches you to hunt, don't expect them to bring you food everyday. Which is basically what you expect.

Atomic habits good, other gurus bad. Got IT! Shoping for it right now!

The fundamental mistake that the common man makes is obsessing over the pursuit of happiness. This obsession drives people to search for some secret formula that will guide them to obtaining their desires. Self help gurus exploit this psychological weakness to their advantage and enrich themselves by preying on the weak. Nietzsche spoke of the concept of amor fati (love thy fate), we’re all dealt a unique hand in life and it is up to us to play it as best we can by staying true to our virtues and values.

humm totally agree with mac

This is the video we did not want, but we desperately needed. Thank you Aperture.

work hard only counts if you have some sort of love for your job or at least some fun, being "un-skilled" means you're mostly stuck with jobs that drain every bit of soul you have left

Nailed it on the head !!

Mindfulness Meditation has changed me and my life 180 degrees. It’s free

I'm just replying to the title: No, it is not ruining peoples lives. Improving means improving.

The key is to be aware and constantly die and be rebirth. Even if that rebirth means to stop watching and following “ self help “ because it’s impeding you’re real growth. You need to burn it off if need be

Self improvement is the worst thing to happen in the last decade.

YESSSUHHH!!!!!

This is spot on. I'm sick and tired of these sorts of messages everyday. It's becoming obnoxious.

Perhaps we should be more keen on the meaning and motive of self improvement, rather than calling it a lie?

If you don’t actually put the things they tell you into practice of course it won’t make a difference. Self help books and guides give you the path to greater satisfaction and a better life but you have to actually put in the work by meditating, going to the gym, doing yoga, etc. If you keep watching video after video without doing anything that is your fault and you can’t blame the community for your failure. Also by meditating you will get that deep introspective view that is specific to you but YOU have to do it.

P.S This video is a self help book as well

Although I completely agree with this video, there is one other factor which the video has not explored. Motivators and other self-improvement idiots bet a lot on other peoples weaknesses to earn their trust in disguise for money. There's plenty who do this, many of them being ex-military and preachers. They develop their vocabulary skills and their voice intensity to sound convincing, which although they do, a smart person can easily beat them in their own game. In reality, many self-improvement coaches have made their money through youtube and selling books, because the society they are part of is extremely consumption driven. In reality, these people have absolutely nothing to offer to society, and all they do is spew stupidity through a repetitive cycle of a basic concept; that you are to blame for your failures and all you need to do is get up from bed and start doing stuff to be more productive. Reality is often disappointing because the vast majority of the world works their asses off to make a living, often trying to financially maintain large families with debt. These so called motivators can not preach their ideas to poor countries because in poor countries if people don't work, they literally die as they are useless by just standing there and lifting weights. We owe it to our selves not to listen to demagogues and let them fade away slowly. They are professional liars, nothing much beyond that. Sure mr goggins, I will jog 10 kilometers today for no reason at all to make my day productive. IQ is lower than their penis size.

slavoj zizek helps a lot when I feel depressed lmao, he's a true selfhelp guru

I'm not a psychologist, but i'm happy, so i can say this. There are 2 types of happiness - false and true. False happiness is temporary, it's enjoyment, good feelings, etc. And true happiness is eternal. True happiness stays with you even for nothing. To achieve this you need to walk on really thin ice: 1. give up on everything, so nothing can bound you 2. defeat all fears, even fear of death 3. enjoy everything you do 4. reject emotions, think with feelings and will 5. be yourself This is 5 things you need to achieve for true happiness. But if you do something wrong, you can end up living pointless life or even die by having no fear of death. You can become feelingless machine or selfish person, that just take from others with excuse of happiness. If you really want to be happy - become strong and be yourself, which is hard to be and probably will leave you alone. Ofc i'm not that perfect. I'm sadistic and selfish, i'm worthless. And i'm happy about it. There are good sides too, pretty much as confusing ones, but this make me a person. I'm not a character that work 24/7, always reaches new hights and always above everyone else. I'm a person, i'm pathetic and i'm useless. But, after all, i'm pathetic and useless because i'm no use to anyone. I work for my own happiness alone

First, you as a person need to identify the problem you have. When you find what problem that is, you have to do your research, and look at things that are contributing that are worsening the initial problem you are trying to solve. Personal habits are a big one. Hope this comment was helpful or gave you some insight, because this worked for me and I’m trying to improve my self.

Just fix it the way you can mastered it that can fit you good

Everything is subjective. People should do whatever works for them.