y’all remember when this song was literally everywhere too. like 2014 it was being covered with utau’s of the hetalia voice actors to make angsty hetalia AMVs. that’s how i found both this song and hetalia… dark times

achromatic does mean "without color", but it has another definition: being able to refract light without breaking it up into its component colors (

Your vibrato on the high F sharps in the chorus is really delicate. I think you did a good job with the expression, well done.

Lyrics - I wanna be like you, I wanna say that I can I wanna be the person that you think that I am But even if I had it all come true like a dream, Is the person I came to be the really "real" me? So young and simple, wishing like things would come true Now as I am, I understand its best I die, And soon Just by living I'm hurting them another day Hundreds cry, all I do is ruin everything Nobody wanted me, no one there to need... "If only I could live in that kind of world", I dreamed Just by leaving I'm helping them another day Hundreds smile, all they do is laugh at everything Nobody there to scream No more being mean... but see, Things like that would never happen for me Day after day, I found my way sleepwalking through Like this, I'll fade without a trace Its for the best I do Just by living I'm nothing for another day Hundred lives, never knowing me or anything Nobody wanted me, No one there to need... Why would I wanna live in the kind of world I see? Just by leaving, I'm no one for another day. Hundred lives, never changing them or anything. Nobody there to scream, no more being mean to me ...Then could I have it all back in one piece? In the end, we'll fall to the ground again Over And over And never get up In the end, the person they made in me Breaking And breaking And never pick up In the end, we're leaving it all again Over And over And never wake up Just by living I'm bringing you another day Why, just for me, can you smile after everything? In the end, The smile you gave to me right when I wanted to give it all up And I really do wish that I didn't And all of the moments I tried just to die said goodbye Just by leaving I'm no one for another day Hundred lives, never changing them or anything Somebody, here to scream, Somebody is stopping me. ...Why can't I laugh it off the way that I dreamed...?

while i don't get suicidal thoughts/don't act on any of my negative thoughts, ive recently been thinking things wouldn't change with me out of the picture. i don't want to be dead, but. i want a different life.

FINALLY AN ENGLISH COVER OF THE SONG IN THE ORIGINAL KEY YAY

Fun fact! The MADE IN 他人 part is not meant to be proper English, it's referencing a slightly dubiously translated title for the game WarioWare DIY (translated as MADE IN 俺). In the lyrics, ore (I, myself, oneself) is swapped with tanin (other people), approximately making DIY (but not like in the normal sense, but other people making it instead). So the line means something like 'the self that other people made for me will (inevitably) crumble away'. And the relatively recent (at the time) pop culture reference could be interpreted as being there to make the character seem young.

Wonderful cover! And about the description, we understand if you cannot be as active as you once were. Please don’t overwork yourself when making videos, allow yourself breaks as needed. Once again, very emotional and beautiful cover! :)

This is unironically one of my favourite songs for some reason, and my favourite version was jury's ver. Not only am I happy to see you post, it's this song, and her lyrics! Girl you astound me

Didn't expect a new Octavia cover. This is absolutely amazing! I really love your voice! Sounds like your voice improved and is even more amazing than it was before which I thought was impossible

Chills. Literal chills. I used to listen to this song every day when I was at an incredibly low point in my life. The chorus, I literally had to sit down because of the emotion of it. There's tingles all over my body. Excellent cover.

You have NO IDEA how long I have wanted to hear you sing this and I have to say, it was well worth the wait!! Such a stunning performance and beautiful rawness to the whole thing... Feels like the golden days of Vocaloid. So personal and important. Thank you for your hard work!

As always, this is so impressive. The technique you display is really something to listen to. Your vibrato during the chorus is gorgeous!!!!!

Oktavia invented singing... wow WHAT THE FUCK those high notes were like super awesome

This is quite an old song but really strong and meaningful. Ontop of that the vocals to this sound passionate

Damn, it really shows that you weren't willing to let it go until you felt like it was all the way there. The tuning in the chorus is like *way* too good. Glad to see you're back, and take your time if you're going to keep putting out stuff like this!

This is absolutely GORGEOUS??? I love Juby's lyrics, and you did such a beautiful job with the singing. The emotion in that last chorus where you suddenly get stronger is so raw and real, it really feels like we get a piece of your soul in every cover you make haha Please take care of yourself and know we're happy to wait for anything you put out!

Babe wake up new oktavia song dropped!!

There's nothing wrong with not posting as often! I'd rather have one or two covers a month than one a day if those one or two are covers you're proud of! Now, to rant. I'm traumatized and tend to believe I'm the absolute worst, that I hurt the people around me. This song is one I'd never actually heard before now, and...it hit the nail on the head, so to speak. It...hit home. It hurt and I'm glad it exists.

Those high notes are just impeccable

As someone struggling with depression, this song hits me so hard. I have that person who would scream if I leaved, she smiles at me, and it makes my heart flutter. I wish I could get rid of these thoughts for her, but at the very least I know while I have her i'll still be here

Oh how I've missed your singing. Your voice has watered my crops and cleared up my skin. Thank you for this beautiful cover

omg YEAAAAA this 12 y/o me’s favorite song and now it’s being covered by my favorite utaite 🥺

Hey oktavia, I know you've been through tough times but I wanted you to know that your covers are great and I'm proud of you for doing something you like despite everything that you went through. Have a good day.

It's crazy how much your voice has improved, the emotion and clarity, all of it

Wow, this is simply amazing. This song has been one of my favorites for a long time and has helped me through some very difficult times in my life. Thank you so much for covering it! Also don't worry, we understand that you can't be as active as before. We'll still support you no matter what! Your covers have always been some of the highlights of my days, thank you for making my day once more.

The fact I relate the entire song kinda scare me. But beside that, your voice is really amazing.

This is the first time I'm commenting on one of your covers, so it's kind of embarrassing. I want to thank you for all this beautiful songs you post here on your channel. Every time I hear your singing I'm getting so sad and start crying and venting (but not in a bad way. It's helping me a lot). I follow you since 2017 and find since then a reason to keep going, keep living. So.... thank you Oktavia... for all your hard work.

God, this is such a gorgeous cover of one of my old favorites. Now I can return to my roots and add Self-Inflicted Achromatic to all my playlists, thank you

those high notes hit me

your voice is gorgeous, i adore your singing techniques sm the chorus made me feel like i was starting to ascend

声が綺麗すぎる

fuck I’m hurting so damn bad rn man why does this have me straight up sobbing. this is absolutely beautifully done

Everyday I always ask my self "why can't I do anything right? Do I deserve to live? Do I have to keep hiding my emotions? Do I ruin everything? Would my family, friends, and bullys care if I died today or soon?" Because I dislike myself. No one cares about me. I'm disliked every where at school.

... what my fingers subconsciously moving to the proseka chart? I have no idea what your talking about....

this is my favorite vocaloid song and you’re my favorite vocaloid cover artist , it feels like a blessing that you covered this . and to top it all off , your voice is beautiful singing this .

How am I subscribed and only NOW finding this cover??? (Damn you KZfaq) Your voice is phenomenal and this song always hits me pretty deep, what a combo! 💜

Hey Oktavia, thanks for making this. You're one of favorite artists, and recently this song has become more relevant for me. When I looked up this song for some covers, and saw yours, I was so happy!

An Oktavia upload! What a nice birthday present!

You always come back around when I need to hear your covers, new and old. Love it all 💓

oh my goodness OKTAVIA IS THS AMAZINGGG!!! please take the time to take care of yourself, i saw the twitter poll of either to continue mixing or go to sleep, make sure to take care of your health first and foremost please! thank you for this cover, it's absolutely wonderful! your voice takes me to another world i s2g

Those jumps in the chorus 👌🏾so impactful

Oh my god I've been craving a new cover of this for so long,,, tysm for posting this.

im so glad this is the first time i've heard this song! i never gave it a listen until you covered it, and listening to the original after this is just. mindblowing. you put so much emotion into your singing and i can tell just by how it sounds. i cant put into words what im picturing when i listen but i can assure you it's all good things !!

It's so nice that you've been more active recently! You knocked it out of the park with this one Oktavia!

I love your falsetto. Nice to hear a new cover from you!

Man, your covers really hit different... words cannot describe how much I love it

Dude this literally gave me chills. Phenomenal job!!!!

There's always so much heart put into all of these covers and that's why i think they're beautiful.

Ive listerally been bumming this song for weeks then I see you uploaded a cover and I think I have found my new binge song

I'm not crying, you're crying! 😭 This is so amazing!!!!!

I am overjoyed whenever I get to hear another cover from you. Please do take your time and work at a pace healthy for you! The wait for these covers, no matter how long they may be, are always worth it!! This one is no exception!!!

Your voice is gorgeous as ever 😭💕 thank you for covering this

I love this song so much, and I’ve been wanting to hear you do a cover of it for a while. I’d talk to my friends about how good it would sound if you covered this song. This sounds so amazing! This might be my favorite version of the song.

Hey, boss! I'm glad you're back! This song is absolutely amazing, I've been obsessed with these lyrics for years now, and hearing you sing them is like a gift. That said, make sure you're taking care of yourself. We love your singing and all, but your health is also important to us. So please, take care of yourself. It's okay if you don't produce covers as often. As long as it's something you're happy with and you aren't pushing yourself. Thank you, for yet another beautiful cover, Oktavia.

Honestly i used to listen to juby's version on repeat when that came out, hearing this is like being punched in the gut (in a good way), your incredible voice just makes me even more emotional. Fantastic cover, thanks again for all your hard work!

this is beautiful ily oktavia

Ahh! Great job, Oktavia!!! You’re voice is so powerful, and the way it’s layered is hauntingly beautiful and fits the song well! I hope you’re feeling better today and get some rest if you need it

00:54 "Now as I am,I understand it''s best i die and soon" 01:05 "Nobody wanted me,no one there to need" #CanRelate

This might be the best voice on the platform

My jaw dropped when I saw this in my recommended/pos I love your work Oktavia and have for years, take all the time you need :)

I am LIVING for the harmonies

your voice is too beautiful, I loved the cover 😭💖

YOUR VOICE IS SO GORGEOUS AHHHH THE HIGH NOTES I LOVE THIS COVER SM 💗💗KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK

thank you so much for this it’s so great to get another heart crushing cover from you even if it’s like 5am. hope you’re doing good and taking care of yourself!

This is genuinely such a beautiful cover of a song that I already hold close, thank you so much for sharing your passion and talent with us 💕 we’re always here to support you, whether you upload one cover or one hundred. I hope that you’re doing well and we’re sending you lots of hugs and support!!

This is amazing THANK YOU

I think this is my new favourite cover you've done so far, even better than hated by life itself.

Fantastic cover as always!

This is such a beautiful cover! Your voice is always so enchanting, I've been listening to this on repeat all day! I was so excited to see a notification from you pop up! It reminded me of when you premièred your Rinnie cover, I came home from work, lay on my bed and listened to it several times! But of course, please take care of yourself, your health is very important!!

I'm sorry for watching this and then forgetting make a comment but, I have an AMAZING REASON! So my husband has an eclectic range of bands form Stevie Ray Vaugh to Hed Pe, Crazy Town, Sizzla Kalonji, Skynd, Saints Asonia, The Rasmus, Rammstein, and even Babymetal. I wanted to show him one of your songs and originally was going to do Rolling Girl....then I saw you covered this. This song means a lot to me since I've been there so I played the cover on the tv. Now are the compliments~ I didn't care WHAT the lyrics would be because I know your voice, it only gives the words power and emotion, any translation would have been perfect. But you picked Juby's lyrics, the exact ones I know. I sang along a bit but still get tripped up at "In the end..." He enjoyed this song and could also relate to it in ways. So once again you have done an amazing ass job! Take it easy, genius is better when mind and body are happy and at peace. SO until then I the college student mama-to-be say....take care of yourself first then attend to the music. You are more important than a new video so please pamper yourself and relax.

I've been listening to your music for about 2 years now, and I just realized I didnt sub for awhile. Amazing music.

I was waiting for another cover of you Oktavia you are awesome!!!

Absolutely amazing! This song brings back memories! Thank you for posting this!

Your voice is beautiful. I can't stop listening to all the covers, and I enjoy every single one of them.

I love this song personally. I feel like its one of those songs I always go back to. Or it seems to find me, lol. I'm glad I can listen to your cover of it too! Thank you!

Ive been waiting for so long for this!!❤️

SO GOOD EVERY TIME I HEAR YOUR COVERS I AM OBSESSED

Great cover. Always glad to see you doing your best.

Don't stress yourself to post, we'll always stick around for your amazing covers :) great job, make sure to get a well deserved rest!

Oh man I remember this song so much the cover is very beautiful! Good job thank you for bringing me back to these old memories of songs

I was just searching for a cover of this song a few days ago and now you release this! Your cover is truly amazing!!

Your covers are always a gift. I love this song to death and I've been really stressed lately, so I'm so happy to have another song to listen to. Thank you so much for always helping me out during my rough moments. I'm glad you're taking your time with music. I'm just so happy hearing your voice :D

IM SO EXCITED OMG

My little sisters love this song and your covers, can't wait to show them!! We luv ya!!! 💘👄💘

I LOVED THIS SONG SM WHEN I WAS YOUNGER IM SO GLAD YOU COVERED IT

a beautiful cover, thank you for singing!

THIS IS SO GOOD

Hauntingly beautiful cover!

It's always exciting to see a new song from you Oktavia! But please be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. We'd rather have you safe and happy than have you putting out music at your own expense.

Oh this is amazing! I am so happy, really love it.

This cover is honestly really good, be proud of yourself :)

This is definitely one of my favorite songs. I love this cover a whole lot!

I literally screamed when I saw this! So happy you covered this!

I finally got around to listen to this, and can I say that you really can bring the emotion out of any song? Because you really do. It makes me feel even more emotional bc of the meaning of this song and my history with it. Thank you for covering this song 💗

I have always loved your songs. I am just elated that you're okay and posting again! Take your time as a sculpture takes time to be carved from stone, singing a song, doing multiple takes to get it right takes time! ❤️ I love this one, instant save and share

This has always been my comfort song, so to have it covered by my favorite VocaCover artist is an absolute treat! Thank you!

good to see you back :)

I'm surprised this isn't your most watched video it's your best one I listen to it multiple times a day!

I'm not crying ur crying 😭