Overcoming Perfectionism as a Writer

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Overcoming Perfectionism as a Writer

Рет қаралды 10,918

Күн бұрын

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TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
1:25 - Be a gentle reader
3:40 - Edit for peace, not perfection
8:11 - Flaws always don't make a work 'bad'
9:02 - A work doesn't have to do everything perfectly
10:00 - Trust your perfectionism
FAQS
→How old are you? - 25
→How long have you been writing? - Since I was 8
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→What are your pronouns? - They/them or she/her
→Where can I read your books? - None of my books are published yet, but you can read my published short fiction in my linktree (linked above!)
→So when will your book be published? - I don’t know! I’m in the revision process right now, but I can’t predict exactly when I’ll have a book published. But I’m working on it!
→Do you plan to traditionally publish or self publish? - Traditionally publish
→Will you read my book/story/chapter/mentor me? - Unfortunately I cannot accommodate these requests because editing/critiquing is a labour intensive task that I can’t afford to do for free alongside my job, my own writing, and running this platform. If you would like to hire me for paid editing work, contact me privately on twitter or instagram.
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Пікірлер: 95

@coreyhuffman7607 Жыл бұрын

Can definitely relate. Each time I write a beautiful sentence, that now becomes the standard every sentence must live up to. It's a vicious cycle 😂

@ShaelinWrites Жыл бұрын

omg mood

@johnhaggerty4396 Жыл бұрын

I meant to write that Capote had to keep the attention of his less than studious readers. Profiles and sketches in Vogue or Conde Nast Traveller have to catch the reader's attention immediately. Cyril Connolly said journalism can serve the writer well for a time but she needs to be mindful of journalism's cliches. *The War on Cliches* by Martin Amis is a good corrective. J.H.

@johnhaggerty4396 Жыл бұрын

My first comment did not go on. I said that Truman Capote's *Portraits and Observations* (2007) contained much lively writing and wit. The essays were written for magazines, there are cliches that would have passed unnoticed by his more lazy readers. Philip Ziegler's biography of Laurence Olivier is a role model for the writer; Olivier approached every role painstakingly. Olivier's attention to every nuance is a good example to follow but we must be gentle readers too as Shaelin suggests. Cyril Connolly's *Enemies of Promise* served a generation of writers with advice but he can be a very demanding taskmaster.

@coreyhuffman7607 Жыл бұрын

@@johnhaggerty4396 Yes, attention to nuance/detail is very important, and it's good to balance it with a bit of kind-hearted realism. I suppose the trouble arises from the understanding that, in theory, everything we write can be made better given enough time and energy. But practically speaking, there is only so much time and energy one can invest. This limit can either be imposed by a writing deadline, or one's very sanity 😂

@jackjohnhameld6401 Жыл бұрын

@@coreyhuffman7607 Kind-hearted realism. The way to stay sane. Begin afresh every day. An old friend, James Campbell, has just sent me the new edition of his biography of James Baldwin, A Voice at the Gates. Published by University of California Press, the new edition has an endpiece interview with Norman Mailer. Mailer thought Another Country was a bad book (I disagree) but said it was the closest Baldwin came to writing a great novel. *Jimmy didn't have the equipment to write a big novel. You know, I think it can kill you. And he wasn't all that well, ever.* Mailer wrote a great many books and speaks with authority. It is his machismo that irritates me. Big man, big prose, big book. Jane Austen can be frightening in her knowledge of human nature and she was a delicate spinster who never saw the big world. Henry James's lack of lived experience did not stop him from writing a great work like The Europeans - a small big novel, if you like. *Jimmy was all elegance,* Mailer went on. *His was possibly the most elegant style that English could muster. Certain people in as minority group end up being the mirror of their time. And in a sense I don't think Jimmy ever felt altogether black ... he was a citizen of the world.* Baldwin's early essays, Notes of A Native Son, certainly brought Harlem to the world's attention. For nuance/detail it these essays are outstanding.

@MadailinBurnhope Жыл бұрын

"if you feel at peace with the work" that is the perfect definition of an ending, thank you

@ShaelinWrites Жыл бұрын

that mindset has really helped me determine when my work is 'done'!

@rev6215 Жыл бұрын

"It's perfect or It's BAD" stop calling me out 😥

@ShaelinWrites Жыл бұрын

I'm calling myself out too🙃

@bassjoonius Жыл бұрын

thank you for the video! i have the deadly combo of perfectionism and procrastination. so sometimes i won't even start writing at all because i'm too scared i won't be able to do it perfectly.

@elisa4620 Жыл бұрын

Gosh! Same 😭 I'm still working on overcoming it.

@Ella-gi3xb Жыл бұрын

Actually, I think anybody who struggles with perfectionism should watch this. Not only writers but everybody. Because nothing you can ever do could be “perfect”. Perfect simply doesn’t exist and so we need to let go of our hyper self-awareness and overly self-critical cognitive patterns to allow ourselves to do our best. Perfect is the enemy of good.

@samreenshaikh2361 Жыл бұрын

That example of a plain, solid painting is so wholesome and insightful. I don't think I have smiled this broadly in a long time!

@horncow4160 Жыл бұрын

Observing the online writing community has made me more perfectionistic when I'm editing my stuff, in a bad way. I see a lot of aggression and elitism, like everyone is so eager to attack each other's work and rip it apart. I catch myself doing it too in private when I read, and then looking at my own writing from the perspective "hmm, how many different ways might some a-hole online crucify this small detail? I better rewrite it 100 times to make it as bulletproof as possible if I ever plan on trying to publish". I'm not really active in the community for that reason, the toxic elements are just off putting to me. 'Read gently' is a good point.

@Eluzian86 Жыл бұрын

The writing community reviews aren't a good sample of your average reader. The average reader's reviews I think are a better standard to hold your work to. When the average reader loves it, the writing community will still be critical. Basically, the writing community will be able to clarify what the beta readers can't, but can still feel. Once the beta readers feel good about it, then the work is sufficiently good to publish in my opinion.

@animehearthd5469 Жыл бұрын

I get the sense that you're giving us the reassurance you also struggle to remember sometimes, and I resonate. This all counts for you too, and I hope you find peace in your writing. Thank you for the inspiration you always give us, I know I have written many words because you inspired me to do so.

@ShaelinWrites Жыл бұрын

I definitely need to hear this stuff myself sometimes 💛💛

@animehearthd5469 Жыл бұрын

@@ShaelinWrites it has helped me a ton to adopt the philosophy that finished is better than perfect, and that "if something is worth doing, then it is worth doing it poorly". Sometimes the perfectionism is so strong it stops us from even trying! But you can't correct or explore something that hasn't been made. 💖

@johnhaggerty4396 Жыл бұрын

@@animehearthd5469 The very idea of perfectionism can freeze a writer up, and a bad first draft does not mean a bad writer as Shaelin said before. Just as there used to be something called Light Verse so today we have light fiction which serves to entertain for the moment. *The Edinburgh Skating Club* by Michelle Sloan (Polygon 2022) is a diverting tale moving between 18th and 21st Century Scotland. The writing is under-observed (Robert Burns makes an appearance but is never described) yet the narrative jogs along briskly. A witty transgender mystery about a legendary Edinburgh painting of a church minister skating on a frozen pond in winter.

@MCSorry Жыл бұрын

I think perfectionnism is often the result of two things: inexperience and insecurity. Now that I study literature at Uni (and yes, I know, it's a privilege not everyone will have) and I get to really focus on how I use language to convey certain ideas, it's becoming easier to really write with intention. The question becomes less "is this good?" and more "am I communicating my idea/creating this image properly, using the correct word(s)".

@maya-gur695 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video! I'm writing a personal project right now and struggling with perfectionism like never before. Which is surprising, because it never happened with stories I wrote for contests or submitted to a magazine.

@ShaelinWrites Жыл бұрын

that's so interesting that your personal project is what's bringing out feelings of perfectionism! maybe it's because since it's just for you, the only validation for the project comes from yourself, so if you feel like you have to get it perfect so that the project is 'worth' writing? idk just a guess based on how I feel about my own personal project sometimes!

@Eluzian86 Жыл бұрын

What's helping me overcome my perfectionism is reading a book that I find a lot of character development and pacing mistakes that the readers in the comments absolutely love. Seeing something I consider to be garbage compared to my own standards be absolutely adored by readers makes me believe I could write a flawed yet publishable book right now. It gives me a level of hope and comfort for me that I never had before when it comes to my own writing. I think I will finally be able to achieve a finished manuscript with my new mindset.

@MerweenTheWitch Жыл бұрын

I'm about to publish a 7 year old project next month, and I think the advice of considering a project is done once you're at peace with it is so important. Of course a project will never be "perfect" or succeed at meeting our current standards, because we're no longer the person who even started the project! It had value back then, still has value now, and will continue on having value for others as we keep on growing and pushing forward. But.... it's complicated to apply. All of the above paragraph is me @ing myself basically, but it's important to try and remember the worth of the creative endeavor in itself despite it all.

@shashanksadafule Жыл бұрын

7 years damn! How do you actually decide 7 years ago that this project is worth giving time?

@MerweenTheWitch Жыл бұрын

@@shashanksadafule Honestly I didn't. Initially I didn't even expect it would take long and it was supposed to be a "break" from another project, and, well, things *escalated* haha. I think it was more a case of this project allowing me to explore questions that needed exploring at that point in my personal development, and so the project helped me growing as a person and feed it back said experience. I discovered the worth rather than assigning worth from the start, if that makes sense?

@shashanksadafule Жыл бұрын

@@MerweenTheWitch man makes sense completely! This makes me remember one author said that she writes the novel so she could figure out how here hypothetical character would develop and how they would end. So she doesn't have an end goal at the start. I guess this is how big projects are done generally speaking

@wrigleyextra11 Жыл бұрын

Thanks Shaelin! A gentle reader is a wide reader - I learned this a bit late but once I moved outside genres I was comfortable with and tried to read works I wasn't sure how they worked, did I let go of nitpicking and being harsh with what I read. Every time I get worried about things I have being published with errors I just remember Johnny Depp who has never watched any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies because for him when the work is done its done. Such a simple strategy of being gentle with himself.

@MadailinBurnhope Жыл бұрын

that shirt / jumper combo is fire this subject is so important for me!

@brennancarter7721 Жыл бұрын

This is my biggest problem and stops me from writing entirely.

@ShaelinWrites Жыл бұрын

it can be really hard! I always like to remind myself that written imperfectly is better than never written at all💛

@lesliemoiseauthor Жыл бұрын

@@ShaelinWrites 💯

@kersanth8407 Жыл бұрын

This video helps me so much! I have been worried about untouched plot threads, unresolved relationships, and unintentional tangents in the novel I am currently working on, and this really makes me feel more ok with the whole messy mountain/desert/canyon trail, littered with debris...

@bethgadsbycreates Жыл бұрын

Love the advice about 'technically perfect' being boring, and imperfections being as a result of aiming for the higher-risk goal! Also love the advice on trusting that your perfectionism has resulted in good-quality work! Telling myself "it doesn't have to be perfect" often doesn't help me that much, as I still find myself thinking that it needs to be of a ridiculously high standard (technically not the same as perfect, which is, of course, impossible! 😂). But I think this advice will help me learn and accept that it doesn't need to be anywhere near as incredible as I think it needs to be in order to still be good enough to be enjoyable and to convey what I want to convey, so thank you for sharing these tips 😊

@PuffPets Жыл бұрын

Holy crap this a a good topic. Have you seen that tweet where a girl put post it notes on her laptop that said "HALF ASS IT" and "DO IT POORLY." Great!!!

@IsabelA-hp9yt Жыл бұрын

Great video and so important! I work in editorial design and get to see my work out in the world after finishing it. Anytime I open a piece, there is always an error or a nitpick. Some things you just see when you’re done and that’s okay. Done is not perfect and vice versa.

@alexelizondo7207 Жыл бұрын

Nice sweater for October

@amandarandomtube4793 Жыл бұрын

One thing that helps me is thinking of really bad books that were successful. I read one recently that I had so many problems with and reviewers seemed to agree with me. It was published by a top 5, a best seller, and it has a sequel. If something that bad can do it, perfectionism feels pointless

@saleenaali1660 Жыл бұрын

Thanks I needed this video!

@kdove2259 Жыл бұрын

Perfectionism often halts my creative process completely. Perfectionism causes me to get overwhelmed by all the threads I could pull in a narrative, rather than excited. Rather than wondering, more carefree, which path I'd rather explore, I begin to believe there is an "ideal" path that I must follow, and trying to identify that leaves me frozen. To overcome this perfectionism and its resulting lack-of-productivity, I am trying to focus on how it is better to get ideas out in the world, with all of their flaws, rather than groaning in the grave, never to be read. Your reflections on this topic were super helpful! Thanks so much.

@AdamFishkin Жыл бұрын

This was the pep talk we needed.

@hotdogdays6690 Жыл бұрын

I can't express how badly I needed to hear this. I have a third draft of a novel I haven't been able to look at anymore, and an almost finished first draft of another one that feels impossible to finish. Had been considering scrapping both of them and giving up my dreams of being a writer altogether. Your advice brought a tear to my eye and I think has given me the courage to face these things again. Thank you.

@authorgkray Жыл бұрын

I love everything you had to say here. I definitely feel as if I would be writing more books to be published sooner perhaps if I hadn't such a streak of perfectionism. For most of my life, every short story and novel I've ever written has to be nitpicked over. And then I get down on myself if it's not "perfectly" structured with proper grammar, etc. Thank you for this message. It definitely resonates.

@kaustubh_writes4342 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for encouragement when I really needed one. I am in the last stage of publishing my collection and O am dreading about this the most!

@Ella-gi3xb Жыл бұрын

What’s helped me greatly is to allow myself to write “bad stories” and just let my mind spill right onto the paper (yes, paper lol it helps because you can’t just delete things 20 times). Afterward I can always type it out and reformulate it. But I’ve found perfectionism is the worst for me when I start something because it freezes me up in regards to my creativity. So for initial perfectionism this technique helps me personally

@kokoro_flow Жыл бұрын

tysm, i needed this!💖

@johnhaggerty4396 Жыл бұрын

*The written page is not a uniform surface like a piece of plastic; it is more like the cross-section of a piece of wood, in which you can see how the lines of the fibres run, where they form a knot, where a branch goes off. *I believe that the duty of criticism is also - or perhaps is primarily - to observe these differences in the written text : to observe parts that are 'more written' and those that are 'less written'. * Italo Calvino in a letter to Mario Boselli. Quoted in a critical study *Italo Calvino* by Martin McLaughlin published in 1998 by Edinburgh University Press, Scotland. Jack Haggerty

@Saolsa Жыл бұрын

Important topic, thanks for choosing it. "The law of diminishing returns" is a thing. It is a universal thing. It applies to spell checking and to computer programming and to building maternity clinics. Spending twice the time on something does not make it twice the better. It makes it 10% better. Doubling the time again only makes it 1% better. In real world scenarios, spending huge amount of energy on it will eventually start making it worse. Or as someone put it: "Perfect is the opposite of good"

@jacklawrence2212 Жыл бұрын

This is fantastic advice, thanks for posting this.

@mavwacanada Жыл бұрын

Amazing video. Overcoming perfectionnism with contest deadlines. It forces me to let go and move on to the next piece/contest. Thanks Shaelin for the contest list on reedsy 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@nathalie.agnesk Жыл бұрын

Thank you for these helpful insights!

@abantorprolaap Жыл бұрын

All of your videos inspire me in some way, Shealin. But this one really resonated. Thank you.

@peledtalli Жыл бұрын

Oh! Love the art piece analogy! Perfectly put, pun intended.

@prairiebutch Жыл бұрын

thank you for addressing the ~trying to write a novel after short fiction~ thing!!! it's killing me rn!! I needed this

@Acorn905 Жыл бұрын

Now these are amazing writing advice and i'm not leaning on you for my mental health or anything but.. Using things like mistakes in writing and comparing them to things i stress about like people on the internet's opinions, talking to some friends, and other emotions i'm going through right now really work well to make me realize how i need to not take things to seriously and that it's okay to makes mistakes or do or say things others dont agree with. So tahnks for the writing advise and metamorphic ted talks for me 👍

@The_Open_Book Жыл бұрын

This is a great piece of advice! I was definitely like that when I was younger, fixating on one little thing. But now, I try to look at the whole of the book and its value, and if there was a typo per chapter or something, it's more of an after comment to improve next time than to taint this experience.

@amouramarie Ай бұрын

That's a nice thing to hear - a good book doesn't have to be a 10 in _every_ area. I know I struggle with description, but my dialogue is fire. And that will still end up being a good book. Because good doesn't mean flawless.

@shaww8721 Жыл бұрын

hey man thanks. this is really helpful

@peaceseeker7441 Жыл бұрын

Thank you very much, this was helpful!

@afrolatinagrl Жыл бұрын

Thank you.. this message so resonates. I am attempting to write because I love it, but I do see I could be silly with perfection. Editing for peace is the greatest advice ever, and I will practice to get me there..

@theConcernedWyvern Жыл бұрын

Fanfiction was actually really good for getting me to not care about or ignore typos and grammatical errors. I had to be forgiving because a lot of it was written by preteens and teenagers. It really taught me to just enjoy the story and characters over getting stuck up on grammar. I think that really helped me to stop stressing over my first draft's little mistakes. Now if only I could get the rest of my perfectionism fixed that easily.

@joedent3323 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for your teachings, Shaelin. I watch your videos often, and find them inspirational and and instructive. Keep up the good work. Merry Xmas 🎅 ...JoE...

@me-zs7tr Жыл бұрын

you're so amazing!

@ViolaVines Жыл бұрын

I feel like getting feedback (if you can push past your perfectionism to share) helps with perfectionism too because you can get concrete examples Of areas that need improvement and positive feedback o some things you were maybe spiraling on

@o_o-lj1ym Жыл бұрын

Omg your painting metaphor opened my third eye. I’m a changed person now.

@gamewriteeye769 Жыл бұрын

I must say, this was well said. I subconsciously don't even notice my upfront perfectionism but somehow it can, not always, fuel the writing and of course...editing. I'm not sure which I like more now tbh. It's become a constant habit to revise/write/revise/write whenever which mode strikes.

@pjalexander_author Жыл бұрын

I was going to say this is a perfect video, but that might go against the point 🤪 Great video (again!) I always love your perspective.

@markwheats Жыл бұрын

You are sooo right! And I recommend that if any writer discovers one of their works to be perfect, go back and add a minor flaw (because then it will be real and true to life).

@chrislabonte3582 Жыл бұрын

We need to stop using this word "perfect" as if it is a real thing. It is always a subjective concept, never something objective and tangible and measurable, and for that reason it is an absolutely useless tool or benchmark for our writing (or anything else, for that matter). We need better benchmarks: does the writing engage, compel, and move readers? Does it move us as writers? Does it have impact?

@ShaelinWrites Жыл бұрын

yesss!!! perfect doesn't exist!! so well said I'm obsessed with this

@chrislabonte3582 Жыл бұрын

@@ShaelinWrites I think it might be interesting and useful to dig beneath the surface of "perfect" to better understand what's really going on. How does it become a subjective concept in our wee brains? What are the components and contributing factors? It seems almost certain that expectations has a role to play here, likely in more ways than one.

@tomlewis4748 Жыл бұрын

Shae, this video was 'perfect'! heh heh. OK, nothing is perfect. But I agree 100% with every word, and I thank you for this video. My two favorite authors are Raymond Chandler and James Scott Bell. I think their work is orders of magnitude beyond most of what I see out there. Are they perfect? Not even close. Nothing I've read from either of them is perfect. But it's darn good. That's my goal-not to be completely perfect, but to work hard enough to be darn good. Miles Davis is my favorite musician. He is arguably the most important musician of the 20th century. He was exceptionally skilled in his genre, and his music was a seminal influence like no other for musicians of that era. Has he ever made mistakes? Absolutely. I can hear them. He even admitted this … "If you play a note, and it doesn't feel 'right', what makes it good or bad is what you play next." I paraphrased, bc I don't have a PERFECT recollection of what he said. Of course what he says doesn't quite apply to a non-destructive medium like writing, where you can always go back and correct something, but it implies that he, being the top guy in his field, understood what you understand-that perfectionism is elusive.

@rachelthompson9324 Жыл бұрын

Good one

@The_Open_Book Жыл бұрын

Also I totally know what you mean about the "technically perfect" stories that are uninspired! I took a mini class once where the writer used their piece as an example to learn from and I didn't finish watching the course even though the technical advice was good, because the story was so boring I didn't understand the point of it, it made every writing practice they talked about seem like a stretch of imagination, in theirs .. heh

@kmstirpitz4285 Жыл бұрын

I find this a lot with grammar. I had gotten so worried about the rules and such about simple things like commas and POV that I forgot about the passion and fun about it. After watching, I realized that my obsession of performing grammsr was fruitless as I already had good grammar to begin with. So the worrying about grammar was pointless from the start. Bruh.

@ClintEPereira Жыл бұрын

I used to write flash fiction and short stories but decided to get into novel writing over ten years ago. I still have not finished. I went into it like I would a short story ("perfect," concise, etc.) and it feels overprocessed at this point, like I'm trying to unmix an egg. Also during this process I went to therapy and realized I have an anxiety disorder so there's that...

@lesliemoiseauthor Жыл бұрын

I have dreamed scenes to add to one of my published historical novels, woken up, and realized that it's published, and too late to make it stronger.

@mothshaped Жыл бұрын

I recently tried to get rid of my perfectionism by writing a piece in a morning, workshopping it the same evening, and then sending it to a litmag the next day. And it got picked up! Now I just have to take that and internalise the idea that not everything I write has to be edited within an inch of its life to be good 🥴

@acastsaca Жыл бұрын

I am stuck in the perfectionist loop right now and it is driving me crazy. I keep trying different tactics to break out of it but keep getting sucked back in. Help.

@ravh4881 Жыл бұрын

@ShaelinWrites are you still doing line editing videos? I would LOVE if you could read some work of mine and tell me what you think!

@lakeshagadson357 Жыл бұрын

how often do read or write 📝

@mr.lopart8523 Жыл бұрын

How long will it take to learn the craft of writing? As in from 0 knowledge

@kengause9259 Жыл бұрын

Don't let perfection get in the way of the good enough. Otherwise, you will likely never finish your novel. At least on the first draft or two, don't worry about perfection. I just finished reading a traditionally published novel written in first person present tense. It was a bit awkward sounding. Also, toward the end, the author put the wrong name of the person speaking a piece of dialogue. It only happened once. As the conversation continued, the author used the right name. It was by no means a perfect book, but the story was engaging, and, in the end, that is what counts.

@jimf2525 Жыл бұрын

We’ll agree to disagree. I love perfection in all ways. If I publish w/ a mistake, I won’t stress, but I’d prefer perfection. But, I’m a noob.

@WritingsOfASpicyMind Жыл бұрын

Early or something

@crissyvalera3808 10 ай бұрын

No human is perfect, so why expect you're writing to be? They're all beautiful the way they are made, imperfections and everything

@munafruit Жыл бұрын

shaelin, this is... not a perfect video. 😜💕

@writerlairchannel2636 Жыл бұрын

I am a perfectionist writer, every time when i write new story i make it the best i ever done or will not do it at all

@LaloMacKenzie 2 ай бұрын

It's funny that you bring up the "perfect" solid colored painting not being good art. Because I am a professional fine artist and there's this modern art piece that's just a canvas painted white in a big museum that's millions of dollars 😂

@nocturnus009 Жыл бұрын

🤔 Not sure if this feeling is, “I feel seen” or “I feel CALLED OUT!” In the best way possible. 🫠🫣😱🤯

@CzarLeigh Жыл бұрын

Thanks for this Shaelin. I’ve been working on something for a month already, outlined it, but still got stuck because it doesn’t seem right to me whenever there are some points in the story that are unexplainable. 🥲 The part where you said that a character that has been explained with all its loose ends tied up seems to be a fake character makes a lot of sense. It actually gave me a bit of motivation to write after hearing that, since that’s where I’m mostly insecure about. So thanks so much for that. 💞