Vivian Russo before candle lighting! :)

Nothing nice to say say nothing at all.

Well if you arent a virgin a man thinks the same thing. Why become shomer negiah if he gets a woman who someone had before? Virginity is extremely valued by hashem and Kabbalah. You get a higher reward than you can imagine for NOT having premarital sex. Modern women and liberal Datim dont like hearing this but it is true.

@@Jl-lq5en Well I was a virgin when I wasn't Jewish and got married. Now I'm Jewish and no longer married. I read lots of books that claimed marital bliss if you waited until marriage but it wasn't the reality. B'H Everything is divine providence. Many years of devoted marriage until the end, the closer I got to Torah. This comparison doesn't hold up. It's definitely a beautiful, righteous thing to be a virgin and a benefit to BOTH men and women if the other is not experienced and doesn't have memories and preconceptions. It would be more comparable to think of things deemed unattractive in a woman (weight, bad skin etc). Either way I don't think it was a nicely worded comment but I guess she is expressing a sentiment she wants to be raw about. That she wants some reward for what feels like a sacrifice. On the one hand, we need to all come to a place where we abnegate our will in such love for HaShem that it feels like a privilege to obey His statutes and understand that whether we experience clear benefits for it or not in this lifetime we are simply doing our duty and don't necessarily get some special privilege. On the other hand if it is really something off-putting for you then it is not your zivug. As Rabbi Friedman mentioned with the finger nail biting. The little preferences it's totally OK to have.

@@pearl6038 your tikkun and challenge in this world was to become a Jew officially. So your marriage was destined to fail and you never feel that divine gift sadly. Surely your soul was Jewish and you reincarnated as a non Jew likely due to intermarriage or promiscuity (in your past life) since the Kabbalah states women generally do not reincarnate here but rather get sentenced which is ideal as coming back to earth before the redemption and Messianic era means you may end up sinning worse and digging a grave deeper. Alternatively perhaps you were a rare case of a non Jewish soul allowed to gilgul to become Jewish. What the Torah says cannot be changed or denied. I have heard of frum from birth couples who married virginal than later divorced in those cases they were let us be frank both cursed in this regard and their challenges in this world is failed marriages and to harbor the spirit of the first person in them forever as the Torah states and for the woman ti have a lower value on her future Ketbot and in the eyes of many men. The first man and any man who penetrates a woman lingers in her till death and Hashem cleanses. There is no born again virgin nonsense in this world. Now with that said it is undeniable that virginity is praised particularly in women and that has many metaphysical reasons and slightly tied to how impregnation relates to telegony which the Talmud and Kabballah states as true and which real non leftist science shows as true as well. Her desire to be rewarded is 100% valid and she will in death more than she can imagine. What I hope is that she is gifted a good husband she finds attractive and they do not engage in behavior prior to marriage that would violate laws of Kareth and thus fail to bless the marriage. The question though is if she will be blessed in this life as not all who follow the laws are. All in all if one makes it heaven and resereuction you will be a virgin again and with your soul mate! So rest assured in that

@@pearl6038 you get priviledges and more reward in death. In shamayim that is said many times. You may not get the rewards in this life though. I would imagine since you waited you will get blessed for that. And other blessings for becoming Jewish and keeping halacha if you keep it.

Nothing is etched in stone. If he is a person who works on himself, he most likely won't turn out like his dad.

All of this advice is for people from 18-29 or really 18-25, based on getting married in your late teens or early 20's and having a lot of kids. Otherwise, I would take what was said as a grain of salt.

@@americanbobtail1 THIS. 10000000 percent. This is aimed at orthodox Jewish men and women between the ages of 18 and 25.