I started this stage of life when I was 23, not 12
@SkrillaKrxzy3 жыл бұрын
17 for me
@TheMaskedThearpist3 жыл бұрын
27
@kelto3 жыл бұрын
@Pat B same man
@nocind67522 жыл бұрын
22 me
@thuvanlethi97272 жыл бұрын
15
@DonteRicardo6562 жыл бұрын
I also want to apologize for anybody who witnessed or was a victim of my extremist behavior, midlife identity crisis, drug and alcohol abuse over the past several years. Everything I went through mentally, ideologically and physically only shaped me into the young hard working black man that I am today. I still have a lot of growing to do, but am proud of my self for how far I have come as a person. I have finally found myself in this crazy world. One thing I still need to work on is my attitude and anger problems. For anybody that reads this, take my advice and don’t let anybody be a victim of your own problems and just have good intentions and and strive to be a better you each day. Lets all work on ourselves for a better and more global order of things, but first it starts with ourselves.
@buddyroach3 жыл бұрын
I'm 35 and I still don't know who the fuck i am. All I know is I constantly self reflect now and look back at how I handled situations like having a conversation and can't help but cringe at how socially awkward i felt and how weird I mustve come off to other people. Or how they may misunderstand my behavior for something negative when really I am just very uncomfortable and don't know what to do. This video helped me understand a little bit on how and why I'm like this today. Still don't know who I am though and I probably never will.
@Baddawg_3132 жыл бұрын
What are you?
@buddyroach2 жыл бұрын
@@Baddawg_313 I honestly don't know. For all I know, I could be an interdimensional higher being under the influence of a drug that alters time and this life I'm currently in here is just a big hallucinogenic trip the higher being is experiencing.
@mscutie-rd3vn2 жыл бұрын
I do the same.
@DarkWings008 Жыл бұрын
we all are Lost, my friend :)
@zakarylarochebouthillette2654 Жыл бұрын
Something that might help you find yourself is to dive into a new world. Maybe let go of your current job, or lifestyle if that is possible. Just discover without knowing what the f you’re doing. Maybe travel in a country with limited amount of money and just let life lead the way.
@alanveiga4528 жыл бұрын
I didn't belong to any clique. My adolescence started in my 20s lmfao. That's when I started to find out who I truly am.
@djordjesm74318 жыл бұрын
this is not posisblle from definition of adolescentia.And what you be in 24.year old period.help me im confused im young but have depresia becouse im not anymore so young.Or im_
@alanveiga4528 жыл бұрын
Djordje SM7 I meant my life really started when I was in my 20s. That's when I moved out of my parent's house and started to live on my own.I began to study philosophy and learned a little bit more about who I really am. My personal identity and convictions were shaped at that crucial period of my life. Your life begins in your 20s and 30s, man. At least what's what it's like for most people. Being young sucks. If I were given a choice I'd never go back to my teenage years. They were the worst period of my life. I believe a good relief for depression is throwing yourself out there. This sounds like a cliché, but we all need a sense of purpose, depression comes when you have lost or you haven't found your purpose in life. You must find what you truly want from life, and from that moment on you should pursuit it.
@moglychrisochoa61858 жыл бұрын
dude u look jz like me..😮
@moglychrisochoa61858 жыл бұрын
+Ericsson Veiga. u look like me dude check out my video..the one under l1f3
@nygeek64718 жыл бұрын
you shouldn't listen to folks like "djordje sm7." he is the epitome of "blurt out psychology terms." adolescence is an ambiguous term used to describe a certain cultural phenomenon in the USA. you can enter adolescence late. puberty is a specific time frame and is biological (therefore more accurately defined.) these 100 year old debunked philosophies shouldn't constrain your thinking: if you know you started this process late then you know it better than some dude on the internet with a bachelors in freudian literature.
@TheAwesomeDarkNinja7 жыл бұрын
As a psych major, I gotta say I really dig this channel.
@youdeservetobehappynow75846 жыл бұрын
I have an identity crisis. I have trust issues and I don't fit in everywhere I go. But I know what I want to do and what I don't want to do, it just happens that I don't have anyone beside me
@iamdreaway6 жыл бұрын
First of all I would like to say that this is the best video on identity crisis out there 😭😂👌🏾. It was enthusiastically well explained! 👏🏾
@Halima-jb5xb4 жыл бұрын
Andrea's Hall-Way the crying part killed me!😂😂😭😭
@reidsjaaheim82372 жыл бұрын
I completely failed this stage. I was outwardly successful in many areas, but I had no real identity that i was able to stand behind. I've been dealing with serious mental illness ever since. I'm 37 years old now.
@darcyflierllcswcap74108 жыл бұрын
I just watched 10 videos to share with my class this morning on this topic and you did a great job! I found my winner. Thanks!
@espositolne4 жыл бұрын
I have a hard time grasping who i am because of my learning disabilities. Whenever i start to feel confident in my skills when my impairments slow me down and are pointed out by others that confidence crashes. It's hard to say "i am smart i just need extra help in some things" when adults called you lazy and stupid as a kid for struggling in math even though you got straight As and Bs in other subjects.
@drmusicclub17842 жыл бұрын
Are you blind? because same is happening with me
@vlz73938 жыл бұрын
.... why gotta hate on canadians?
@iwillknifeya9 жыл бұрын
Hahaha! 5:11 - 6:10 pretty much sums up most psychology undergraduates XD It's always hard to find a decent psychologist (or especially psychiatrist) but when you do it is usually because they are cool and have a great rapport with you :) Nice video - keep up the great work!
@RottenDoctorGonzo6 жыл бұрын
35 and still struggling.
@Moonshadowad4 жыл бұрын
35 here too and still struggling. I wonder how the person is doing now that they are 37 :D
@stevenewsom32694 жыл бұрын
Weird. I'm 35 also. I used to know who I was, but I underwent some big realizations about life which coerced some big changes and now I'm starting over. Exciting, but scary.
@marwamustafa9523 жыл бұрын
33 and still struggling too
@manyofthemmarjoreesaidso93643 жыл бұрын
My son 12:11 is turning 18. I'm a shadow but been constantly reminding 3:33 to look within. I cant wait to reunite. Thank you
@mtsitz90428 жыл бұрын
i just turn 24 last month and I still have identity crisis I just don't know what i wanna persue.... and find out who i am i'm lost...
@lex.cordis7 жыл бұрын
I'm 25 and in the same boat. I'll spare you the details. If it helps at all, at least you're not alone.
@Patara.6 жыл бұрын
Same here, 17 lost and confused..
@bordz686 жыл бұрын
Hey somebody help me! i am toooo!
@ronnoC9186 жыл бұрын
i just turn 24 months and I still have a trust identity crisis... I just don't know who to trust....
@dillonshaikbzeni93916 жыл бұрын
lmao i think i just had a click
@MrStolenakount Жыл бұрын
I'm 32 and I've come to realise I have no idea who tf I am. I'm the jock and the nerd and the goth at the same time and can just shift my personality and interests to suit. It's served me well thus far. I run a business and have no issues getting along with the contractor or hanging out with top tier CEO's because I'm relatable and can just pop on another mask and off I go. I can dig into people's psyche's and ask the hard questions but when it reverts back to me, I get uncomfortable and I've always wondered why? Maybe it's because I can be anybody but deep down in my core, I am nobody.
@altruex11 ай бұрын
it seems like youre able to adapt very easily because you have a broad range of perspectives but maybe you just need to take more time reflecting on who you are and and what youre looking for in life
@emma-c12 ай бұрын
Hello - how's it going? 29 and this is me
@richydowner71837 жыл бұрын
I'm studying Erikson, fun vid👍
@Slam_243 жыл бұрын
Yesterday, I wanted to be a rock star. Bought myself a guitar. Today I want to be an astronaut. I bought myself 3 books on astrophysics. Now I feel like being a psychologist. This is a true story. What’s wrong with me?
@reimisugimoto50883 жыл бұрын
Honestly, I wish I knew who I was too
@yolanda68253 жыл бұрын
What's wrong is your idea of 'trying' to become who you are. From your story, you're just focusing on your 'wants' out of occasional burst of motivation. Focus first on determining your identity; your skills and abilities. Then you must 'embody' of who you want to be, with respect to your personality. If your goal is to be good at math; be a mathematician. If your goal is to be good at music; be a musician. If your goal is to be good at sports; be athletic. Choose who you want to be and embrace it like it's a part of your identity.
@dixongraves69103 жыл бұрын
You remind me of a friend, is name Jhonny sins
@theotherway16393 жыл бұрын
Thanks. Another good resource is the mindfulness book "30 Days to Discover Who I Am" by Harper Daniels. It's online.
@senghji27949 жыл бұрын
i'm surprised not many people know about this.
@TheKarankansal3 жыл бұрын
They aren't intelligent enough to recognise this!
@mindfulnessasia1082 Жыл бұрын
We need to know our true identity. We have an eternal spiritual identity. But we also have temporary and changing material identities and labels. Is that who I am? No, those are passing roles that we play on the stage of life.
@01dixieforever018 жыл бұрын
Very good videos Mr. Tolbert. I didn't know you started doing KZfaq videos. I loved your lectures!
@gailashby8 жыл бұрын
Love your teaching style and these videos!
@youdeservetobehappynow75846 жыл бұрын
After all these years of searching who I am, I don't like or trust people who once betrayed me, it's hard for me to forgive myself, I have so much desires but doesn't have a chance to let it all out, in the end I am not worth in anyone or anything. And a lot more on my diaries. It's hard and finding myself strikes depression and suicidal thoughts
@youdeservetobehappynow75846 жыл бұрын
Anyone else like that?
@orenanoyo51084 жыл бұрын
so, how s now? are you getting better? would you mind give your way in fix it? i think i had same problem
@youdeservetobehappynow75844 жыл бұрын
@@orenanoyo5108 I hink I'm not still fully okay but I'm changing myself. I learned that things doesn't get better you just get stronger especially in a situation you cannot truly fix because it already happened. Now I just think of the things that I can control, somehow it makes me feel better. Action is the best solution but I can't fully act unless I have a strong inspiration. Just keep choosing life no matter how sad and chaotic it gets. Hope you have a great day
@youdeservetobehappynow75844 жыл бұрын
@Keith Marshall I wish I can write something beautifully
@Wanderer17949 жыл бұрын
Matt, excellent video. Thanks much.
@xDemonTech5 жыл бұрын
This is good stuff! Clear, direct and funny. Thanks
@DonteRicardo6562 жыл бұрын
After I graduated high school, and after my grandmother past away I went through an identity crisis that literally lasted 8 years, up until now.. I’m 25 about to be 26. After high school i went from the Louis Farrakhan, to the orthodox Islam, to the Hebrew Israelites, and then back to being one of those trump supporting dumbasses like the type of people I grew up around in Loudoun county. Now that my identity crisis has ended I actually ended up becoming a young balanced, hardworking, black man. Respect the way you were brought up, your own culture, but respect others at the same time. Learn and grow. Never try and be something you are not. Stay true yo yourself and your intuition.
@unicornishcornish9 күн бұрын
I can't relate to the highschool example. My highschool in Poland in the naughties didn't have any distinct cliques. You could identify individuals with specific interests or attributes but they never formed distinct groups, everyone talked and spent time with everyone, of course you'd have closer friends amongst them but it was never based on something so basic like interests. Me and my friends were very different from one another and that diversity of thought, value and experience helped us to grow. Perhaps what I learnt through that experience is that I like to have my world view challenged and I like to explore what other people are into. For example some of my friends got me interested in Asian cultures, another into fantasy novels, another into partying, another into crafts and do on.
@pocachontaspocachontas7263 ай бұрын
Thank you for the excellent tutoring!
@Nayomi8888 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Another awesome video!!!
@limonadekweker46365 жыл бұрын
the problem is my identity are multiple people. there are a few who take control sometimes
@lelya7304 жыл бұрын
Thats dissociative identity disorder, i recommend seeking a therapist to help figure that out.
@Gay-yi6yt3 жыл бұрын
@@lelya730 that’s not what he meant I think
@DonteRicardo6562 жыл бұрын
now that I’m not a lost soul, vulnerable to any radical teachings, I’m just glad I found myself in this world. I don’t feel the need to please those around me anymore, and I’m not vulnerable to radical extremist teachings anymore. For anyone reading this message stay away from and do not listen to people of the likes of Donald trump, tucker Carlson, or on the other end of the spectrum, the Hebrew Israelites, or radical Muslim groups, or even gangs. Find balance in activist groups, your hobbies, your career, your spirituality, or global organizations and let’s come together for a better world. I truly think this message can help someone with an identity crisis
@tamasue14232 жыл бұрын
This was very entertaining and I learned a lot. Thank you!
@onyechegodfrey38993 жыл бұрын
You are such a wonderful teacher
@rambodjoon9 жыл бұрын
That's a really cool tshirt
@iwillknifeya9 жыл бұрын
Haha! Pretty clever, I will agree!
@immsnghidi48713 жыл бұрын
😂😂
@inusannon238 жыл бұрын
But look at it this way: what choice do you truly have in what company you keep?
@kerimaltuncu81525 жыл бұрын
A lot
@RebekahHBP5 жыл бұрын
All
@saharamcnamara Жыл бұрын
Since I was 6 years old (I'm 17 now), I wanted to become an author and write fantasy books. Every family member, every friend, every teacher knows this about me. They always ask me how my book is coming along and I always tell them it's slowly coming together. But the truth is, I don't know if I want to become an author anymore. It's hard because I always had the mindset that I was gonna be an author, no matter what. So now I feel lost and don't know what to do. Creative writing was my identity. I always referred to myself as an "aspiring author" and I don't know how to let go of all that. It's like everything I did, everything I said up to this point, means nothing. It feels like I'm throwing away my identity and I'm afraid of disappointing the people close to me. I had 2 mental breakdowns last month, where I couldn't stop crying for hours because I didn't know what to do with myself. Now I'm trying to find myself a new identity or reconnect with the part of myself that wanted to be an author. Listing my goals really helps. If you feel lost, list all the things you want to be or have somewhere in the future and then make little steps on how to achieve those things. Then improvise. I believe that it will get better and that I'll be someone I can be proud of in the future. Good luck to all of you.
@Ojee07 Жыл бұрын
I wrote one fourth of a fantasy book, but I just wonder if I could ever get myself to start working on it again. That spirit just kinda dissapeared, I think that I get what you mean.
@ember24k80 Жыл бұрын
you started with a big project too early imo, not every author wrote a best seller as their first book, i would suggest you tackle your writing in a diferrent manner
@esraatawil3397 Жыл бұрын
Oh my God! Thanks for this video ❤❤❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
@nicoletrasmanasllosis622 Жыл бұрын
EYYYYY! I LUV THE VIBES! THE SOUNDS ! 🤍🤍🤍
@onyechegodfrey38993 жыл бұрын
Love your presentation
@francescamusngi43976 жыл бұрын
Cant help LOL with this!!!! The sound effects are great ahahaha so cute
@georgebaily79344 жыл бұрын
I actually love this
@Utkarshkharb Жыл бұрын
In my school in India, there were compulsory uniforms and a lot many restrictions on what you could bring in your backpack. I couldn't explore various parts of my personality due to my social anxiety and depression. I wonder if these contributed to me being a 22 year-old who doesn't have an idea of who he is and what he wants to do in his life.
@user-oo3cq9yb7i Жыл бұрын
i relate! i grew up in a strict religious household where modesty was huge for us girls and we werent allowed to wear makeup or jewelry, cut our hair, watch tv or listen to certain types of music. i always felt like i lost the opportunity for me to explore my personal interests in my childhood. now i'm a young adult and i don't know where to start. i feel like i dont know myself and im always trying to become a new personality every 2 weeks, from the way i speak or the way i dress, to the way i spend my free time. nothing sticks and i feel extremely lost. i have no idea what im supposed to do in life either :/
@alyssadegala6595 Жыл бұрын
Great job!
@jaspermartin74448 жыл бұрын
For three cliques he used males as the default but for one clique, a female was used. For the first three male default groups, it is plausible that women can also be nerds, goths and athletes -- but it isn't plausible in our sexist society that males could be categorized in his fourth group. I wish he had used a "group of humans who are interested in art" in place of... "females who excite and support others". Other than that minor quibble, this guy looks like a lot of fun (and competent and confident) and I bet he's a lot of fun to work with!
@lordfabfurs89278 жыл бұрын
Don't be so pedantic and PC. Everyone understands that either gender can be part of any group.
I love your shirt! such an interesting informative video
@Getit_gotit_good2 жыл бұрын
Was that outro about Erikson supposed to be directed to a photo of Freud?
@DonteRicardo6562 жыл бұрын
Also anyone going through an identity crisis, don’t because you will come out of it a better more humble person.
@MaurSouls Жыл бұрын
Im 25 and having a big identity crisis
@sunset335333 жыл бұрын
The mindfulness book "30 Days to Discover Who I Am" by Harper Daniels has good exercises and lessons.
@JoeyFrat3 жыл бұрын
Good video Mr. Tolbert
@ggates5371 Жыл бұрын
After getting a BA in Psychology and studying multiple religions, I'm convinced that much of what we call "me" is the invention of advertising and doesn't really exist.
@NieceyWeesey2 жыл бұрын
Where did you get your t-shirt from????
@33Kellymc2 жыл бұрын
Omgoodness! This was hilarious! Good content! Lol
@wassavi84054 жыл бұрын
U explained so well
@yatoyukine73973 жыл бұрын
Finance also plays a major role in finding one's identity or does it?
@rachel26ram2 жыл бұрын
thank you
@RawrItsPaula9 жыл бұрын
Great video!
@Sey779 жыл бұрын
Awesome video tnx!
@TheVafa95Ай бұрын
What is societal identity crises? Not all friends are beneficial for an impressionable youth
@beverlyramsahai85033 жыл бұрын
Great video 😍💯
@emelynreddy58706 жыл бұрын
Where did you get that t-shirt from?
@streetbean4562 жыл бұрын
My grandma married some dude along time ago then devorced him but when i was born they game me his last name. To this day i still have that last name and i swear it has something to do with my weird behavoior. Bc that last name doesnt line up with my ethnicity, my culture or anything. One day i hope to change it legally but im in a weird part of my life rn. So yeah
@trolltrollman47294 жыл бұрын
Second year psych class brings me here 🤧 interesting stuff
@trolltrollman47294 жыл бұрын
Too bad you gay haha xD
@blacksand84277 жыл бұрын
Such a good video
@chrisjohnhilis22643 жыл бұрын
please upload more
@prastutidebi80343 жыл бұрын
I didn't expect his high school to be like that😆
@ArthurSmallidge2 жыл бұрын
He made that poor man cry!
@Italianbabymakingpasta2 жыл бұрын
All I know about myself is my taste in music.
@kimt81622 жыл бұрын
I'm not sure I fell this is soooo importnat. If you were in Band, many people move past that as they get older and get into college. So I don't see high school as important as people might think. At 30, band is a different outlook than when you were 16. I think it's more important when you start dating and finding a significant other. The meshing of two identites that start to merge closer to one.
@ravivaradhan49562 жыл бұрын
I am not what I take myself to be. I am not an engineer. I am not a father/son/brother/husband. I am not an American. I am not a democrat. I am not a Hindu. I am not short, nor heavy. I am not bald nor old. Who am I?
@Yuno-TJ Жыл бұрын
This guy radiats Vsauce energy.
@wendymeng50137 жыл бұрын
But..I don't think cliques exist in my high school =o= p.s. I studied in China
@MsInvisiblelight8 жыл бұрын
Introduction: "Married a Canadian (unfortunately)" ...?? OOPS!! There goes your credibility, Matt Tolbert!! MEDICE CURA TEIPSUM!!!
@Mona-td6nw6 жыл бұрын
MsInvisiblelight I was thinking the same thing
@Chiquepeace4 жыл бұрын
um yah, lost all us Canadian viewers
@yellowdankdimond31956 жыл бұрын
i was depressed for 2 months straight because i couldnt form a click
@akrasia19697 жыл бұрын
So does the individual decide his identity or does society? Is identity subjectively or objectively determined?
@toolwatchbldm74616 жыл бұрын
Isn't a decision, is more a understanding or discovery of the individual. After that he live his life with that knowledge and purpose.
@sunshine83382 жыл бұрын
Are you still here my man? Reply if you are :)
@TerrelleCheers12 жыл бұрын
Reply
@alchemist7867 жыл бұрын
What happened?
@jestinadavies99983 жыл бұрын
guys I'm 15 my grandma and mom force me to be super duper girly so embraced it. All my friends know me as a classic girly girl but I am now realizes I don't think that's really me! but I like mini skirts, pink, and all that. soooooo now I'm just confused ughhh
@cherryblossom21783 жыл бұрын
whose here because of your lecturer?
@TerrelleCheers12 жыл бұрын
Personality = Self Identification*
@TerrelleCheers12 жыл бұрын
Obviousness must be apparent by default.
@vexintersect13124 жыл бұрын
I have that shirt! 6 dollar tees!
@valannemacgyvers15827 жыл бұрын
He confuses cliques and crowds. Poor understanding of the research base. Also has a poor understanding of the cyclic nature of the theory.
@Carol-rd9dx6 жыл бұрын
Valanne MacGyvers that's not the point of video 😑
@definitelynottigerwhitten58653 жыл бұрын
Band and wrestling. Almost
@stephenprice33578 жыл бұрын
woah! it's peter griffin!
@175cool9 жыл бұрын
so funny!
@lilym94759 жыл бұрын
interesting. :)
@Mr.Redacto Жыл бұрын
I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but I think this can be applied to trans people to some extent.
@nygeek64718 жыл бұрын
interesting voodoo..
@lex.cordis7 жыл бұрын
It's just superstition.
@memnoch9418 Жыл бұрын
This dude is wak
@michaelehjr.6 ай бұрын
Dude, as an American. The Canadian joke was tasteless and unnecessary. The Canadians are our neighbors and they’re great folks. Unlike you