Being forced to marry an older man who got her pregnant at 16 years old, her ability to make decisions in her life was taken from her. I feel like she continues to make bad decisions because that is HER way of controlling her life. I really hope her saying her life out loud will give her the drive to start trying to forgive herself and reconnect with her kids and family. I have hope for her. ❤️

Sarah's pain, isolation, fear and loneliness are so real. Her suffering is the plight of someone who has been abused and self-medicates as a result. Her ability to compartmentalize and dissociate is a symptom of abuse. She is a victim. I pray she finds the courage to get treatment, to forgive herself. She deserves every happiness❤

Sara’s story reminds me how complex human nature is. As humans we are deeply flawed but that does not mean our hearts are not good. There is a constant duality in this life. Life is a beautiful fucked up paradox. Grateful for her story & perspective.

This one had me riveted. I could not take my eyes off it. She bought me to tears. So natural and articulated her story superbly. I wish Sara all the love and strength

This is probably one of the most honest interviews I've seen.

I respect that shes been brutally honest. Its not for us to judge her. At least she is taking responsibility and not making excuses like most people. Its hard to look at yourself and expose all of your flaws, and secrets to the world.

She seems like the saddest woman in the world. My heart goes out to her. I’m praying for you Sara.

She could literally turn her life around. Still be beautiful. Get a diagnosis. Get treated. Rebuild relationships with her kids. Stay focused. Have a beautiful life. If she would focus on gratitude, she could change. Start with being grateful for the sunshine, the flowers, the beauty in life. Be willing to get better and be grateful for that willingness to change. There IS hope Sarah!!!! ❤🙏 Go get it girl. Start with inpatient treatment!!! People online will help you!

I knew Sarah and we were friends through middle and high school. We both had babies as teens. I've wondered what happened to you over the years, Sarah. I hope that you make it through this rough time in your life, Sarah. I'm definitely rooting for you. Xoxo Laura

If I calculated it right, she had 3 kids by 20. I believe her mothers death, an abusive relationship, and stresses of motherhood overwhelmed her. She ran to escape. Sometimes that can be the only way to save yourself. I hate that the children suffered and I can’t imagine their pain. I hope she can find her way back to good health and good standing with her family.

Dear Sara, my heart goes out for you. your sadness made me also want to cry. Be sure, you are not the only one that feels alone. We care for you too from afar. Love

This one hits a nerve with me because I see slivers of my own mother in Sara. My sympathies lie with her children. She speaks of her trauma, of which she has been through plenty, but her kids have paid a bigger price because of it. And then to think she has a chance to actually meet up with one of them then chose to go and meet a man instead says it all about where her heart truly lies.

that was deep! i found myself vacillating between judging her and being broken-hearted for her. i am proud of her for telling her truth, and i hope she starts to do that more often.

You can tell she needed to tell that story for a long time....I hope this saves her life.

20 year ago when I got clean, I was still "on drugs". The chemicals may have left my body, but I was still in that mindset. I had to tell my story. Had to get it out, show my weakness, and be honest. Only then did I start to heal, make amends, and move on. This can be her 1st step towards a better life, or the last confession, before all hope dies. I hope she uses this to fuel the fire. To surprise herself, and her family. Please let this be the beginning of a new life.

When she said "I've never actually been Sara I heavily resonated with her, I feel such a connection to her struggle, the self sabotage and the playing a part I've never turned to drugs but I've done a lot of crazy stuff in search of myself. Hope she gets the strength to find herself and stop playing parts. Praying for you Sara ♥

I honor Sara's life and the life of her three children, but just think: how would Sara's life been different, had her parents not coerced their 15-year-old child to get married to a man twice her age because she was pregnant? *This* is the question I cannot get out of my mind listening to her story.

She seems like a pretty textbook case of arrested development. She was groomed, impregnated, and forced to marry at 15, and her emotional maturing stopped there. I hope she can find a really good counselor and just commit herself to doing what that person says for awhile. There is all kinds of potential for her!!!!

Lot more honest than a lot of the people we see here

It’s interesting to hear how similar her & my mother sound when she said she’s afraid of dying alone. My mom left us on & off our entire childhood & chose to live her life for herself. That has caused my 2 brothers to completely shut her out. I’m 26 now & I have boundaries w her. She uses the “my kids never call, they wouldn’t care if I died, my kids treat me like I don’t exist”. I understand her pain but I don’t think she completely understands ours.

As sad as it is, that was actually a good story, and now that she said it out loud she can find the strength to make changes and move forward in a positive direction. She is not making excuses, but telling her truth. Much respect to you Sara. I wish you the best. ❤❤❤

The pain so very evident in this woman’s eyes is what drew me in, made me click to hear her story. She was molested by her children’s father and then married off to him. Trauma then more trauma and MORE trauma! She is not the only one.

My heart goes out to you Sara. It’s impossible not to see how much your children mean to you and how broken you are. You’ll be in my prayers.

Does anyone know or have an update on sara?

Sorry to say but if you were drinking during your sons entire life, I can assure you his childhood was not beautiful. I can tell you this as the child of a (fairly moderate and well functioning) alcoholic.

Guilt is literally killing this woman. Let it go Sara, life is too short.

I really hope she has gotten the help she needs. It’s truly heartbreaking how far addiction can take you.

I really feel sorry for this lady. She seems like she has been through so much, it's no wonder she seems so lost and alone. I really wish her well.

I almost never comment on videos but this one spoke so deeply to me. Sara is so raw and genuine through this whole interview and you can tell. Not only through her body language but the pain and desperation in her eyes and the calmness in her voice. I really hope she finds the support system and help that she needs to get back on her feet ❤ Something tells me she will. Good luck Sara, we're rooting for you.

Dear Sara, I have so much compassion for you. I understand the desperation that can drive us to do these seemingly incomprehensible things. The most important thing is to find a way to get clean and sober. 12 step programs can be extremely helpful with this as they provide support and a structured way to work through these issues. A peaceful, meaningful life for you is possible. Sending you much love and support.

She still has her brain, her body isn't wrecked, she simply has to get clean. Very much easier said than done, but if she doesn't get clean, in a few years she WILL be one of those wraiths you see on the street. There's still a chance for this woman. Get clean, get an apartment, get a job, every day one at a time, focus on what you can control, EXERCISE daily, read daily, and get locked into that pattern. If she's clean, there's also hope she can rekindle relationships with her kids. She has a future, she has things to look forward to (e.g., grandkids), she is not a lost cause by any means. I hope she can do it...

The fact that she wouldn’t talk to her daughter for ten years in order to keep up the facade really got under my skin.

She reminds me of my mother . She had two kids in Long Beach that I didn’t hear about until I was well into my 20’s . She met my father and had myself and my sister . We knew nothing until she passed in 2020 … she used drugs… she drank but she was a good mom when she was a mom. I always feared she would leave us and never knew why I felt that. We all live this life the best we can…. We can’t spend time judging eachother cause we come from different backgrounds. Different experiences. No one walks the same walk…

Whatever judgement anyone can give her, she shared her story honestly and that's more than I can say for most people

thank you so much sara for sharing your story. i listened to the end and i'm in tears, there's still hope for you. this inspired me to talk to my dad.

Fingers crossed that Sara finds her place in this world! She deserved one more chance!When she told about the story that she came back to her hometown and no one recognized her anymore like Sara as a person, but like the homeless Sara, it makes me think about how homeless people are INVISIBLE by society. Mark you do a great job giving people the opportunity and visibility to share their stories!

How could she possibly know who she was? She was still a child with two children, and she wasn’t able to figure out who she was or what she really wanted from her life. I feel awful for her, worse for her children. I hope someone can give her the time, counseling, treatment she needs so desperately.

Being 15 and "dating" a much older man is abuse. Then, compounding that by having your freedom and independence taken away by being forced by adults in the family to marry him, which allowed him to continue abusing her. She said she couldn't think of where it went wrong. I'm no expert, but I think that is the catalyst of what went wrong. The trauma was deep before she was even an adult, despite the upper class lifestyle of her childhood. She had adult responsibilities and problems as a child before her mind was old enough to handle it. I was abandoned before birth by a parent who I'm sure had his own trauma and reasons. I'm not saying this as an excuse but as a deeper explanation other than just seemingly random "bad decisions." She said she thinks no one would notice if she went missing. I think she's had that opinion of herself for a long time and that's possibly the belief that led her to leave her kids, along with a desire for the freedom she had taken from her at 15. It sounds like she never realized her innate self worth, substituted it for a while by taking care of her parents. If your worth is being a caregiver to or impressing your parents and they go away, what are you left with? I hope she realizes how much self worth she has and how much worth she had to her kids from birth. I think getting clean(if she wants), stable, and building self esteem/self love and recognizing her trauma through therapy is important before trying to mend things with wounded adult children. I think if she works on herself, her kids will see that and maybe one day be ready to build a relationship with their bio mom. If they're not ever willing(which is their right), the work she does on herself will still help her cope and live her own best life. Again, I'm no expert. This is not professional advice, just my early morning thoughts as I watch the video and hear her story. I hope she does connect with a professional who is a good fit for her and can help her.

Why do people differentiate between being an alcoholic and a drug addict? Isn't alcohol just a liquid drug? Seriously though, I'm curious about this.

You can feel the pain in her voice, hope she finds peace and happiness. 🙏

Mark, without question Sara was the most powerful heartbreaking interview you've done so far and I've seen them all. Thank you Sara sending love healing and peace.❤

Sarah was brave to do this interview. She seems like a completely lost soul,controlled by fear her whole life. The visible pain on her face was sad and heartbreaking. I hope some miracle of healing and clarity, happens for her so she can find some peace in the life🌺

Her honesty is impressive. Not many people can admit to their mistakes. I see the level of deep pain she has and the guilt. I hope she’s doing better and able to repair some parts of the relationship she lost with her children.

Ohhhhhh SNAP! I was judging her UNTIL the EXPLANATION! “Their Dad was THIRTY when (she) was 15” That’s child abuse.. She’s damaged.

That is a real heartbreaker man. Probably the saddest one you've ever done. Please stay in touch with her.

I have watched all episodes, yet, for me this is the deepest, saddest story, ever. I truly feel for this lady, and I respect her honesty. You can tell how much pain and shame she carries. They say, do not blame circumstances, or others, for what happens to you, but I believe that in her life, many things and people were just very unfair. Leaving her kids with their father, is not like leaving them with strangers. They grew up in a caring home, it seems.I do wish her the best, from the bottom of my heart.

Getting impregnated by a older man and forced to marry is traumatizing for a girl of 15. She never developed a semse of self and seems to struggle with ever being accepted and sabatoging anything good...shes secretive to absolute detriment...poor gal...every lie and struggle shows on her face.

Sara, thank you for sharing your truth. I found your interview captivating, raw and honest. You have a gift for speaking. Perhaps writing too. I hope you will reach out for the help you need and deserve. You have an audience here that cares about you. We want to see you do well. Blessings to you and your children.

When a man shares that he left his kids he isn’t questioned as to how something like that could happen. Men leaving their kids is just as damaging as moms leaving.

My whole life I've been saying silent prayer's for people who i never met but knew existed. And this channel has introduced me to exactly who they were aimed at. And I continue to pray, but now I see the faces in my head of the people who there intended for.

My heart goes out to Sara.I was once like her, I have 28 years clean and sober.Prison saved my life.....

The worst thing that ever happened to this country was closing all the mental hospitals.

She is the first one I've ever watched and genuinely understood and connected with. No BS she just put it all out there. I feel like I know exactly who she is. Because I am her. I didn't make the same choices thankfully. But I feel that same feeling of just not belonging anywhere. Not deserving. My head knows better but there's always something making you feel different. I will pray for you to find the support and guidance to make better choices and for you to finally love yourself. Because the person I just watched is totally deserving and worthy with so much to offer.

I can only respect her for her honesty. Who am I to judge? I've made bad choices and mistakes myself. I sincerely wish her all the best x

Imagine being a drug addict and not being able to get high anymore ….. that’s a fate worst than death

As someone who has lost a spouse to addiction with 4 kids and 3 in the military myself…this story is extremely tragic! She sounds like my wife. I hope she gets cleaned up because the devastation that this leaves on the kids is very painful! Even if she doesn’t think so…she is still very loved.

People will judge but her pain is real, even if part of it is self-inflicted. I wish you will find some kind of peace Sarah.

Her poor kids. I can’t imagine how they coped with their mom just dropping them off and never returning. This one is super sad

I am very touched by this interview. The courage you have behind your voice - strikes me. Even though you made mistakes, and we all have, I now know you exist on this planet alongside me. In many ways I feel connected to the worries and self-frustration. We BOTH could have done better. I am currently learning how to allow myself to make mistakes. You are a sister to me. You have a lot to offer still.

Wow. Just wow. The broken souls journey….your channel is fascinating and heartbreaking 💔

This one hurt, being a Reno/Tahoe local, a mother, and a meth addict in recovery my heart hurts for her. Recovery is possible but you have to want it dearest Sara. Religion is not how I got out of the mess I created, Accountability and hard work and support is the only way I got out.

One of the most powerful installments. An intelligent and self-aware human being extremely honest. I have a lot of empathy for her.

I feel her pain. It takes one bad experience for some of us to fall of the Clif, and we keep going down the pit. Courage sister.

My sister has been a meth addict her entire life and it ate her bones. She is suffering terrible now. I think about us as kids and would never have imagined how everything would turn out. Its heart breaking

Has Sara ever had any real help? Is she open to counseling? She deserves some solid help, and some hope for the future. With help, she could piece her life together.

This is without a doubt one of the most heartbreaking interviews on this channel I sincerely hope she gets the help she very clearly needs and that her children will prehaps start to forgive her.

“Nobody sees you when you’re like this, you’re not a person you’re a statistic” so sad yet true. The sadness in her eyes is tangible. She’s clearly stuck in so much self loathing and I find myself hoping for the best. I truly hope that she’s able to find and love herself. And if you ever see this Sarah, you do matter. And trust me, as someone who’s gone long periods of time without speaking to their parents you do matter to them. I wish you peace dear friend. ❤❤❤

I've watched almost all of these interviews...this one hit different....she's so articulate and self aware....this has saddened me .....she's lost....my heart breaks for her...

I feel bad for this person! She's very honest and genuine. I hope she finds a way to forgive herself and recovers from all pain.

Your parents “having” you get married at 15 because you get pregnant as a catholic is not a good childhood. There’s likely more going on there she just breezed through

I hope you read this, Sara: I have Bipolar I disorder and was diagnosed later in life. The way you blame yourself for everything in your life and your sense of being in a black hole with no way to get out - that was exactly how I felt when I was severely depressed and anxious. I know I can't diagnose you but I feel your pain viscerally and I pray you go to a clinic and get some help for your mental health. You will feel so much better and you won't need meth anymore - you need anti-depressants and probably a mood stabilizer. I am not an addict - I am truly blessed that I don't have that genetic illness - so I know you have that to deal with, too, and that is just a layer of complication. But just know that you have gone through a TON in your life and it's NOT all your fault, as much as it feels like it is. That is your depression talking. Please go to a non-profit clinic - I used to work at the Downtown Women's Center there on skid row and they can help you there, and for free. Sending you so much love and light, my dear. You are truly beautiful, inside and out. I can see that, and I know many of us can who are watching this. Hugs.

This breaks my heart. I’m a recovering addict. So grateful to be clean but I’m dealing with heavy, heavy pain. Some days I want to die or kill someone. My little rescue dog rescued me.

There’s something so childlike about Sarah’s need to be seen. I wish she talked more about her childhood. There’s a lot of hidden pain she glossed over.

Self sabotage, self hatred.. It sinks in your soul and is so hard to fight. I feel for her.

I'll never understand her leaving her children. She permanently damaged them.

I was abandoned by my mother. I truly hope her kids are well adjusted and have lots of support because that can eff a person up for the rest of their childhood, and throughout life without the right support. I don’t feel sad for parents who do this and come to find their kids want nothing to do with them. We don’t owe our negligent parents anything.

She absolutely needs to hear that she can change things. Her trauma tore her up and she had a psychotic break. She was a child when she became a mother. My heart goes out to her children.

I love your style of interviewing these incredibly broken people. The way you respectfully get them to speak honestly and candidly without really pushing them too much is amazing. Thank you for all your hard work.

This story touched my heart. I think that some day Sara will have the strength and the courage to change her life and live the life she's always wanted. She's taken the first step, even if she's on that step for a long time.. she's acknowledged and accepted. Sara, if you see this, find yourself, take small steps towards being where you want to be. You're not too far gone, you're strong, you're able, and deserving. Even if you dont believe it. Good luck

The pain is just written all over this womens face, such a heartbreaking story

This is the best Soft White Underbelly interview I've ever seen. I've seen dozens. The look of pain is so profound. Thank you, Mark. I think you've captured something seldom seen.

When I watched this I seen my mother. For years I’ve held so much hate for my mom for being an addict and not being here for me… As ive grown older I’ve started the forgiveness process. I really started to understand that she was always just doing the best she could.

7:00 I’ wasn’t doing drugs or anything. I was drinking pretty heavily’. And that’s why alcohol is the most dangerous drug. The social acceptance, even by law makes it so insidious, unlike most other drugs, which are much easier to recognise when you have a problem with them.

You still have a chance. It was brave of you to do this. Things aren't too far gone. You made some big mistakes, but it's clear that you're a good person. You still deserve to be helped and loved 💙

Man I must have seen 100 of your videos... this just broke me. I'm sitting here in such an introspective rabbit hole relating to the loneliness she is talking about. It's real out here. Damn Sara you are loved I hope shit gets better. I'd end this by saying imma go call X family member but I cant even do that...

My heart breaks for this woman. I hope she gets help and finds some joy in her life.

I see a woman who got forced into a life she didn't choose at a way too young age and never learned how to take any control of her path through life, and it feels me with tremendous sadness.

Sara, I have enormous amount of respect for you for sharing your honesty. I admire your vulnerability and openness. My heart breaks for you, and I would never ignore you if I met you in real life. I would be your friend. So many people are incredibly lonely and need support. You are not alone with those feelings. Sending lots of love to you

She was married off at 15. She's had to play a role her whole life. I see a good person who was dealt a really tough hand. Good luck Sara! I think you're pretty cool. Hope you find a version of yourself that you're happy with and that feels real and sincere.

a brutally honest episode of self reflection that is truly heart breaking. I really hope Sara gets to break out of this cycle of loneliness and despair and is able to find some happiness

Not sure why my comment was deleted. So, I will be a little nicer in this post. I know Sarah, and have known her for almost 20 years. We are practically family. Sarah IS loved and missed. Sarah, if you're reading this please reach out. I've left many messages on social media for you. I told you last time we texted each other that you didn't burn this bridge, I just had to shut it down until you got help. Please SarBear, please get help. You have the power to change things. I know you do, because I've seen you do it before. You might think "no not this time" but your wrong. Stop this insanity, please get help before it's too late. If the creators of this interview are reading this, if you know how to get a hold of Sarah please let her know I want to talk to her. We all want her to get the help she needs in order to get better.

The person on the lights and camera did a wonderful job. Great editing and sound. It takes a lot of guts for this woman to lay her life out for all to see.

Beyond heartbreaking. Hoping the best for Sara.

I’ve never been on drugs been for the oddest reason I feel the same way. If I died today no one would notice. No one would miss me. But I’ve felt this way since my mom passing. It’s the worse feeling in the world and I pray you get stronger and beat the addiction. You can tell that ur heart is in so much pain & you just need a chance to right ur wrongs. I’m praying for you

I admire her not using excuses most would she has been through a lot just the simple fact a 30 yr old got a 15 yr old pregnant omg my heart is broken for her

I hope her kids can forgive her one day. I'm so sorry Sara, I hope you will get better and stop running away from things

Wow, that's a lot of guilt. Coming on here and 'confessing' to the world this gigantic burden of shame she carries around - seems like a really good start. She seems very lucid, and certainly remorseful about how things have turned out. I hope that she can reconnect and seek forgiveness from the people she used to be close to. I hope this has been cathartic for her. "today is the first day of the rest of your life"

This was one of the hardest interviews I've ever watched here, but the one thing is, she doesn't make excuses, she's aware of her mistakes and possible mental illness, and she is completely aware what she has done and is doing wrong!, so I believe she can be helped with a little push and can become the woman she doesn't even know she can!. Such a sad story I hope and pray she can sort herself out on to the right path.

A lot of people look down on homeless people, but it just takes one thing to end up on them streets. Good luck everyone

THIS is precisely why a (preferably non-judgmental) support system is so important! As a former 20yr addict (3yrs sober) my family lifted me from the gutter and w/out them I’d be nothing. I can sympathize with EVERYTHING she is saying cuz not that long ago I too was in her shoes. I am praying for God’s grace and provision in her life and hope she can take small steps to get better. Lord knows she deserves restoration….