Spice Girls' Mel B Details Her Experience with Relationship Abuse

Spice Girls' Mel B Details Her Experience with Relationship Abuse | The Drew Barrymore Show

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2 ай бұрын

Former Spice Girl Mel B joins Drew Barrymore to tell her all about her new memoir, “Brutally Honest.”
Below is an excerpt from Mel B's book "Brutally Honest" on signs you may be in a domestic violence relationship :
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing family or friends
4. Insults, demeans, or shames you with put-downs
5. controls every penny spent in the household
6. Looks at you or acts in a way that scares you
7. Prevents you from making your own decisions
8. Prevents you from working or attending school
9. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
10. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexual that you aren't comfortable with
11. Pressures you to use substances
For more resources, take a look at the links below:
www.womensaid.org.uk/
www.thehotline.org/
ncadv.org/resources
Check out Mel B's book “Brutally Honest” here: amzn.to/3TSQkte
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Spice Girls' Mel B Details Her Experience with Relationship Abuse | The Drew Barrymore Show
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Пікірлер: 768

@MichelleIbarraMHAEdD 2 ай бұрын

She's describing a true narcissist perfectly.....😢

@lisacranmer8005 2 ай бұрын

😢😢😢 yep and I had no idea that's what the x was

@melissablueswomanhensley634 2 ай бұрын

man this is so spot on!

@user-mt5lj8ot3h 2 ай бұрын

Not just a narcissist but a physical and mental abuser

@tcfarley4032 2 ай бұрын

Exactly. A classic narcissistic move.

@LuvOneAnother 2 ай бұрын

I survived a narcissist. when I was 30 years old and it took almost 3 years to get out. I wasn' t allowed to dress a certain way and had to break off friends. Everything was up to him and NOTHING was wrong 4 him to do, but I had to ask to do anything.. Still stalked on twitter under his moms name, over 20 years later.

@auberthere3737 2 ай бұрын

People don't believe me when abusive person can be so alluring and seductive before the abuse starts

@RoRo-gm7ee 2 ай бұрын

So true

@sallywaites8517 2 ай бұрын

I believe you. It happened to me too.

@sexystylis35 2 ай бұрын

Thats how they get you. The LURE. Think Angler fish

@chloewolf9201 2 ай бұрын

I believe you. I've been there and it's horrific

@stephaniekimaiyo8035 2 ай бұрын

It's true. The abuse doesn't start right away. They isolate you and then the mental and emotional abuse starts and they break you down and because they've made it themselves as your only person in your life you feel like there's no where to go and because they weren't like that in the beginning maybe they'll change. Then once your spirit has been broken the physical abuse starts. It's the hardest thing to walk away from. If you've never been in that type of relationship you won't understand. A lot of people always ask why don't you just leave. What they don't understand is that to you there's no other way. Some of us survivors found a way to pick ourselves up and escape. For me I wanted more for our son. I was able to escape. It came at a price because I left everything, clothes toys furniture my whole life I had to leave but I gained so much freedom and it's just been my son and I now for 8 wonderful peaceful years.

@pattivergerio4404 2 ай бұрын

Yep. They isolate you so that they can control you. It's all about power

@gigihubb8535 2 ай бұрын

Yep. Before I knew it, my friends and family were gone because he didnt trust them.

@kayshawnsimmons5585 2 ай бұрын

FACTS💯👹🤛🏾

@houdaslife3366 Ай бұрын

My story😢

@tinawashnieski2715 2 ай бұрын

Narcissistic Abuse is a lifetime of PTSD for some us.

@drgnflyangeltruthseeker8556 Ай бұрын

That's me😢😢😢😢💔💔💔

@katarinagbajobi6620 Ай бұрын

Yeap

@sluurr6171 Ай бұрын

💚🙏🏼✨️

@girlmomof_Payne 2 ай бұрын

The look on Drew’s face… she knew exactly what she was saying.. 😔

@angelicavazquez6946 Ай бұрын

Seriously. The look on Drew's face speaks volumes, like she's recalling some of her own past relationships. It's sad that this is a common experience, narcissists drain the life and spirit out of you 😢 Let's repent and turn to Jesus, the only one who "makes all things new".

@rinas6550 2 ай бұрын

I was dating a guy a few months ago and the second he threw in a critique of how I speak, which he called “unladylike” I immediately dropped him. Don’t ever let guys neg you especially if it’s early in the relationship it’s a huuuuge red flag

@gjinkalla23 2 ай бұрын

He was testing the waters. Great job❤

@stellbanne Ай бұрын

You dodged a Narc

@stacyjd2759 Ай бұрын

Good for you! I didnt realize it in my husband until after a decade. But thankfully Im on my way out!❤

@rinas6550 Ай бұрын

@@stacyjd2759 sorry you went through that ❤️

@emmamacdonald9415 2 ай бұрын

She describes this so perfectly. Its hard to remember the first steps and how it all happens so all of a sudden, but ahe captured it perfectly

@SassySlater 2 ай бұрын

Almost as if she is reading from a script

@caupainregina9948 Ай бұрын

No it does not happen all of a sudden, but slowly in a very subtle way and in the long run you ask yourself how this could have happened.

@rachaelmarrero8597 Ай бұрын

Sadly I’m hearing my kids dad is doing the same to them when they’re with him and i am furious

@toastdude1587 12 күн бұрын

@@SassySlaterI don’t think so, she was married to an abusive man for 10 years so this was her real life experience. She wrote a book recounting her time as a Spice Girl, her life, and the abusive marriage, so I think that’s why she remembers it so well.

@ForeverChanged7 2 ай бұрын

Mel B, Yup. It's so toxic. You don't realize that piece by piece, those ppl take your life away. It happened to me. I hope you got out. Thanks Mel B.❤

@lisacranmer8005 2 ай бұрын

😢 he almost killed me and played victim all over under the church facade, saying that I tried to jump from a truck when he broke my back, how the hell would I jump from a truck when I have two back surgeries because of him..

@connar04able 2 ай бұрын

I married that narcissist. Sad

@mismissy 2 ай бұрын

I went through this for 12 years and then when I left he harassed me for for another 8 years. We have 2 children together so I had to interact with him. Thank God I am FREE. No one understands unless it happens to them

@vickyj5155 Ай бұрын

I'm dealing with this now..God bless. I'm happy you got free. Making my plans now to go.

@mismissy Ай бұрын

@@vickyj5155 I pray for you to be safe. This is the most dangerous time. Please be so careful. I pray God to place his Angels around you and your family to keep them safe. The hard time you go through at first will be so worth it for the peace of mind and freedom you will get on the other side. 🤗🥰

@JeannineTagatio-qe7bq Ай бұрын

I'm trying my best to set free from this,17year of marriage

@sallywaites8517 2 ай бұрын

What's truly truly heartbreaking is how many of us know exactly what she's talking about.

@jenniferbloh-michael8662 2 ай бұрын

Like waaaaaaaaay too many . Someone stated it perfectly . It's at epidemic levels.

@brendalynn8968 2 ай бұрын

Eddie Murphy

@bruceleena2214 2 ай бұрын

My mother was in an abusive relationship. She said the day she left him way the day he held a sledgehammer above her head and nothing was in his eyes, he was gone. The next day she packed up all of our things and left when he was at work

@brittnieparker9606 2 ай бұрын

For Mel to explain it so much detail is something everyone needs to hear. For a long time I didn't even know my relationship was an abusive one. It happens to men too.

@CoyoteWildFlower 2 ай бұрын

Exactly what happened. I went from very independent to centering my world around him. Happened so slowly over years, lots of gaslighting.

@bbdass4598 Ай бұрын

Yes. I met the devil

@Raddiebaddie 2 ай бұрын

I’m so glad she is sharing the signs bc so many people aren’t taught this and don’t realize when it’s happening to them

@deniselebeau9874 2 ай бұрын

Yes, this happened to me....I was 53 when I met him and he adored me and was as handsome as any man could be. Within 3 years I had lost 20 pounds and I was a shell of myself. I finally got away from him even though I was so in love with him that I couldn't function without him. I literally was put on medication because of panic and being so mentally distraught and have been for 15 years...I am now 71 and he destroyed me. I am married now with a different type of man who would never do what the narcissist did to me but I am not recovered and I will never be the same. I was fooled and I never even realized it was happening...he has destroyed more than one woman...one woman killed herself and now I know why she did. There is evil amongst us.

@AdrianaHernandez-zr9gd 2 ай бұрын

😢 mama! I am so sorry so so sorry you experienced this! My 70 year old momma is goin through this as I type this. He is 46 years old and has her completely alone and isolated. He moved in with her 2 years ago and she's had several small heart attacks she is now on a pacemaker. She's lost so much weight and I'd always sick and miserable, her face is so sunken and miserable she looks permanently sad. But then he comes in and swoops her off her feet again and she gets sooo High off his compliments and "love" she catches him cheating all the time. She can't answer her phone when he's around she's not allowed to talk to us becos "we poison her head" . 😢😢😢I hope she opens her eyes. She's had him kicked.out plenty of times but let's him back in ,in just a couple days.

@er5507 2 ай бұрын

I'm glad you got away and found a new marriage. God bless you

@Aljosef6366 2 ай бұрын

Oh no? I feel sad that you haven't recovered completely. It's terrible that he still has a hold on you. I pray that you find total peace and fulfillment and joy in your current man.

@deniselebeau9874 2 ай бұрын

@@Aljosef6366 Thank you so much. It really hasn’t been fair to my husband now…..I will never allow myself to be vulnerable again which actually has kept me hard to those who have followed. I believe that it is anger deep down inside…..so deep that only God will be able to pull it out of me. I’m so tired.

@cookee888 2 ай бұрын

Thank u for sharing ur story 💓 💗 💖

@nanateetee4029 2 ай бұрын

I’ve been out of domestic violence for 25 years. I’ve been in a wonderful, loving relationship for 22 years. Yet, when she said “attack your personality”…I felt it deep within my soul. I still struggle with my self-confidence. Mostly because I remember most of the reasons we fought was because he attacked my personality.

@jodisemone7481 2 ай бұрын

It never was a problem with you. It was HIS problem. Remember this!

@ambriaashley3383 2 ай бұрын

@@jodisemone7481love this 🤍

@jessicawilson2772 2 ай бұрын

I need you to look in the mirror and tell yourself that it was entirely about them and not you. Cause your confidence never needed to be checked, my love. ❤

@nanateetee4029 2 ай бұрын

@@jodisemone7481 I will use that as my mantra from now on. ❤️

@nanateetee4029 2 ай бұрын

@@jessicawilson2772 thanks hun! I will do that. It’s funny how years can pass and suddenly you realize something from long ago is still affecting you.

@lesliefischer6680 2 ай бұрын

I didn’t even realize it happened until years later. I only have 2 friends remaining from our time together and prior to him. Even work mates. He told so many believable stories that I lost everyone. And it became patterns to not trust anyone anymore. Thanks for the wake up call. And the A-ha moment

@katl7227 2 ай бұрын

So very true. That’s exactly the way my ex was. Very well explained.

@kayshawnsimmons5585 2 ай бұрын

My ex's too🤦🏾‍♀️

@SandsTimeDiscoBiscuitShow 2 ай бұрын

That person is called a narcissist

@YogaCheryl 2 ай бұрын

So sorry Mel went through that but grateful she speaks out for those of us who can't! 😢

@nildakovacs-colon5892 2 ай бұрын

So very true. Alienate you from all of your support/loved ones.

@machellehilst6835 2 ай бұрын

Mel b told it from her heart and what she said is 100% true! This is how the abuser manipulates you and controls you! ❤ Mel B

@charluna6121 2 ай бұрын

Now she is about to get married I'm so happy she found love

@mrivera7696 2 ай бұрын

I didn't know. Who to???

@mrivera7696 2 ай бұрын

Who's she going to marry?

@charluna6121 2 ай бұрын

@@mrivera7696 Rory McPhee

@charluna6121 2 ай бұрын

@@mrivera7696 Rory McPhee

@user-ow5xk6eh8b Ай бұрын

For now until to honey moon is over

@claraberg1214 2 ай бұрын

It's so scary how insanely on the dot her explanation of this is. And how as she's explaining it my relationship with my ex flashed before my eyes as if she was telling my story. 😢sad that so many people do this that we all have such similar stories 😓

@barbaratatton3855 2 ай бұрын

Some one above made comment it sounds like a script. It's not a script. This is what they do. The control is huge. It is real.

@user-bt4uy8yg3x 2 ай бұрын

I went through this too. It was horrible.

@TJ-qh7kf 2 ай бұрын

Me too 6 years too long😢

@darlenegaynor-krupnickdofa8557 2 ай бұрын

It was Limerence- horrific expereince

@NathTMcC 2 ай бұрын

This happened to me with a guy, first relationship I ever had when I was 21. We broke up when I was 23 and I had a terrible eating disorder, I’d stopped speaking to so many friends and I hadn’t seen my mother in 8 months (Despite being so close to my mam). Thank god I got out. But now I’m so afraid to trust anyone again.

@80islandia 2 ай бұрын

She explained that so well. Thanks Mel B; I believe you! ❤

@tracybanks9558 2 ай бұрын

So very important for beautiful talented intelligent women as yourself to show how no one is immune to this kind of evil

@maddie9185 2 ай бұрын

Abusive people don’t start out being abusive. It’s the little chipping away little by little and one day you don’t even recognize yourself.

@shirleyhogue3853 2 ай бұрын

I have family members that attempt this technique with me. They ask me if I still have friends in the various cities I have lived. I pay attention because these certain family members want complete control of me. It is a sick mentality.

@alybe2812 2 ай бұрын

I am happy I been learned this as a teenager. So as an adult I already knew when someone was trying to love bomb me. I never trusted a man who was too giving in the beginning and too nice as well.

@almabarrera5848 2 ай бұрын

Yes! A man with a weak ego plus jealousy and possessiveness is an ugly combination and in my experience led to verbal abuse and that's when I left.

@KariBrennan 2 ай бұрын

She speaking facts I dealt with it for 12 1/2 years. My own mother did this to me as well it’s not just an intimate relationship that people can do this. It’s also in friendships and relatives. Been there done that and now I stand alone because I choose to I’m not as trusting as I used to be I used to project their potential and think they’d grow but I needed to grow, heal & love myself enough to know I might see the best in them but doesn’t mean they see it or have it! It also means if I showcase my best & im consistent yet there not it’s time to put me first because there’s a difference between a mistake & a pattern! I can forgive & move on from a mistake, we all make them & must to learn & grow but I no longer harm myself wanting better for someone else when I can give myself the best so I won’t chase beg or bother! I’m not harming myself to help break a pattern of abuse cause been there done that! Time to love self and I hope whoever’s reading this not only understands but takes their power back so much so they put themselves first healing loving self & moving on to better cause our birth right is freedom! Break free and god bless! I might see their best side but sometimes it’s their fakest side! They showed me who they were the first time, and I should believe them. God bless her. I hope she’s healing.

@FC-hj9ub 2 ай бұрын

Exactly, too much focus on romantic relationships. It happens with all types of actors in our lives

@therealcharlee 2 ай бұрын

This is exactly how it happens slow and steady drip 💯🙏🏽

@kristabrown2675 2 ай бұрын

Facts!!!! I love that she is using her platform to talk about such a serious issue. No one has to air out their past for the world but it helps people feel less alone and find hope that they can get through it too!

@perfectlyimperfect628 2 ай бұрын

I Love Mel & Am Sooo Glad She Got Out of That Toxic Relationship!!!!!

@daughterofenoch677 2 ай бұрын

In truth she never needed to get into it to begin with. Everybody told her he was abusive

@marycoleman4301 Ай бұрын

@@daughterofenoch677we all make mistakes :-(

@robind8149 2 ай бұрын

She is so right… I worked at a women’s crisis center for many years, and the cycle of domestic violence is a tragedy we should be able to at least diminish by now. 🥺❤

@trevaeverett2950 2 ай бұрын

You were meant to tell this story 👍😉🙏 Very well explained!! 💯

@susanbritney 2 ай бұрын

Her book is really good

@1BadKitty88 2 ай бұрын

What is her book titled, please?

@susanbritney 2 ай бұрын

@@1BadKitty88brutully honest

@trevaeverett2950 2 ай бұрын

The name of the book is Brutally Honest 👍

@ItsGIencoco 2 ай бұрын

If you wanna be her lover, you gotta get with her friends!!!

@deannayoung5311 2 ай бұрын

This is exactly what's happened to me 😢

@FreeeeeeeDom 2 ай бұрын

Yes the same happened to me twice, so sudden that you don't see it coming.. I found out it was because I had an abusive mother, so I unconsiously looked for what was known.. felt "safe" 😢

@crush3095 2 ай бұрын

the hardest thing is a friend, you know is vulnerable, and you see this happening. because you just sound like an enemy, no matter how you warn them : ( if they could see it, they would have seen it

@carolburke4359 2 ай бұрын

I too went thru abuse. I want to add that I had low self love to begin with.....self love and self confidence is helpful to valuing ourselves....so we avoid this type of person or leave them quickly.

@LightingLotusLove 2 ай бұрын

Yes &when you break out ready to walk out they pull the golden mask out & they’ll be everything you’ve been wanting for a very short 1-1.5 week’s and then the abuse becomes worst

@KrystalMimms 2 ай бұрын

10000% accurate!

@TJ-qh7kf 2 ай бұрын

Indeed they do

@niaowen5905 2 ай бұрын

She is saying the truth the chipping away bit got me and its true

@carmengracepuentes7953 2 ай бұрын

Very true 😢😢😢 it happens outside of romantic relationships, too😭😭

@locallyinbitterroot2339 2 ай бұрын

💯 16 yrs in and I finally realized whats happening. I feel stuck but Im getting out as soon as I can. Devided me and my children and all my friends. Beware, dont let it take you as long as it took me to walk away. They attach to empathetic people.

@therealwilfreddierkes9980 2 ай бұрын

You can do it. Know you’re not alone. ❤

@stacydauterman5122 2 ай бұрын

There is a word for that toxic behavior, and I understand her language ❤

@kayeherrera3821 2 ай бұрын

So true exactly fact 😢 it's very important to never be isolated by anyone else be strong and brave enough to keep your own power be well everyone ❤❤❤

@terribellettini450 2 ай бұрын

So true this happen with my oldest daughter, not just friends but family too. It took 8 years but she finally had the strength to walk away.

@Stephen_W_Lancaster 2 ай бұрын

Yes, So TRUE ‼️

@lynghee159 2 ай бұрын

It's ALL about power & control😢 So sorry you had to go through all that!!

@chefcook6076 2 ай бұрын

DREW WAS REFLECTING THERE

@darlenegaynor-krupnickdofa8557 2 ай бұрын

This is how I learned about Limerence- it is hell…after a few years you get better, mostly over it.

@brendat9458 2 ай бұрын

Eddie .. was that you Eddie 🤣

@melissachochard4242 2 ай бұрын

No it wasn't! They were together for under a year. It was her ex boyfriend Beau

@earthajones3081 Ай бұрын

Both

@amywest1533 2 ай бұрын

My question after getting out, how do you get out of isolation? I have been out of my toxic marriage for almost a year. I work and come home to take care of my kids. How do you start letting others back into your new safe place?

@melissachochard4242 2 ай бұрын

Therapy & meds

@curiousone9944 Ай бұрын

Reevaluate carefully yourself and those you allow back in. Knowing your needs and wants and most importantly boundaries.

@eleonorabartoli2225 Ай бұрын

I found Michele Lee Nieves YT Channel the most helpful, for years, on this topic.

@lindamaguire1301 2 ай бұрын

God Bless you Mel B Been there

@UrsulaZA 2 ай бұрын

The worst part is losing yourself after going through this. All the years you’ve spent to build yourself up just gets torn down again, but you don’t have the gracious learning ability to just get back up and form your personality again. It’s difficult to describe but almost a decade later, I’m still in the black hole he had left me in, but now I have a bit more light shining through with peoples voices echoing around me. At least it’s not alone anymore.

@gogogogogirl 2 ай бұрын

That outfit is beyond fabulous!

@gjinkalla23 2 ай бұрын

Stunning ❤

@geenalawrence8338 2 ай бұрын

Huge respect to Mel B. It takes so much bravery to talk about this.

@kendrareed3148 2 ай бұрын

❤bless you.. You speak the truth of what an abuser does .. glad u made it out.

@elibird910 2 ай бұрын

Well said. Facts

@jesusynfante5249 2 ай бұрын

She said it so eloquently. It is exactly how she described it.

@kenziehansen2424 2 ай бұрын

Spot on! Its really hard to have a radar for these narcissists when they soften you up, but you dont want to seem like a cold person and not trust them so... yeah it can happen over months or even faster but its always the same tactics😢😮

@survivor1355 2 ай бұрын

This WAS my story 😢 32 yr marriage. 2yrs divorced and I'm finally starting to feel like me again and working on making friends again.

@ericabond6222 2 ай бұрын

She looks fabulous and she’s absolutely right

@JamieMoldenhauer-gw4bi 2 ай бұрын

They both look beautiful like they have never aged. So inspiring ✨ Mel I was in abusive relationship but I broke free too

@kkibela 2 ай бұрын

Finally puyting the shame where it belongs.. well done Mel.. good to see you back in lepaord print too.. absolute fire 🔥

@emilyjkwaters 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Mel💜💜 everyone needs to see this clip

@sunnysunflowervibe4175 2 ай бұрын

This IS the best example I have ever heard of how abusive relationships start. I can happen to anyone. She does a great job talking about the “love bombing” it’s almost a 🚩 red flag

@user-ow5wx1ei8d 2 ай бұрын

Exactly isolation their manipulation, then when your in trouble and theres no other help your stuck

@TimothyMorigeau 2 ай бұрын

So true!

@tabithab2777 2 ай бұрын

Spot on.

@Jocred255 2 ай бұрын

Thanks Mel for opening up and showing that no one, no matter how successful or intelligent or famous, is immune to these psychotic narcissists. They’re everywhere. The only salvation is the fact that they always follow exactly the same routines. So when you think your new love story is too good to be true, that’s because it is. Take a deep breath, count to ten and then run away as fast as you can.

@caitlinsadiemay3120 Ай бұрын

They make you feel like they’re lifting you up, before they tear you down

@carolinehobson7365 2 ай бұрын

I love Mel B.

@DirtyChai80 2 ай бұрын

Every word is true.

@themadmadamemim2630 2 ай бұрын

She's right, I went through the same thing.

@livehappyandstrong8604 2 ай бұрын

She is so right they do it and one does kot Even know that is happening...

@Ernie1978 Ай бұрын

Damn! Sorry that she and so many people go through that. Go, Mel B! 🙌

@FlowerChyld143 2 ай бұрын

My ex -unbeknownst to me- had the landline (no cellphones at that time) all calls forwarded to his office. And he's a psychologist. In Florida. 🙂

@CarolinesCottage 2 ай бұрын

Yep! Exactly. It’s a perfectly defined classic pattern.

@AAS_iff 2 ай бұрын

She is such a strong beautiful brave woman. Scary spice is now strong spice !!!

@carolynmccall2372 Ай бұрын

Absolutely!!!! She's 100% Right! Thank you for making it simple to understand.

@maryannehayespabon8028 2 ай бұрын

Yep. 34 yrs of it.

@tinyproject6388 Ай бұрын

It's so important that ppl with a voice speak about it on tv

@peaceispower3792 Ай бұрын

She’s absolutely right her book was amazing!

@dimensionsofagemini Ай бұрын

She killed that outfit go sis!!

@averylayajones9805 2 ай бұрын

That is exactly what happens. So true.

@racheljerusha 2 ай бұрын

Exactly like my story.

@marydeneher1719 2 ай бұрын

Ouch . . I know . . It’s been almost two months leaving an abusive relationship . . It has left with a hole in my life . . Rebuilding my life and my network . . This type of stuff can be very damaging on your mental and emotional state . . God bless her for sharing ❤

@RLifestyle453 Ай бұрын

Same