Spiritual Direction and Enneagram Type 5

Рет қаралды 4,783

Maria Mandarino - Spirituality, Wisdom, Health

Жыл бұрын

In today's episode, I share an overview of Enneagram Type 5, also called the Observer or the Investigator. Enneagram Type 5s place a high priority on knowledge and information, time, and privacy. They hate intrusions. In this episode, we will look at the higher and lower expressions of Type 5.
If you lead with Enneagram 5 or know someone who does, please share your comments below. Let us know what resonates and what doesn't. If you know someone who leads with Type 5 or you suspect they do, consider sharing the episode with them to see what they think.
If you are interested in working with me in Spiritual Direction using the Enneagram, or if you're not quite sure which Enneagram type is yours, you can schedule a professional typing interview with me to find out. You can do that here: www.mariamandarino.com/about-....
Finally, please remember to like and share the video. Your participation helps to grow the channel and helps my work reach others. If you haven't already done so, please subscribe to the channel to get notifications about future videos as well as announcements about my work and upcoming courses.
Thanks for your interest in my work. And thank you for being on the path toward being your best self.
#enneagram #enneagram5 #enneagramtypes #Type5 #observer #investigator #knowledge #information #technology #energy #time #somatic #spiritualdirection #spirituality #personalitytypeexpert #personalitytype #personalitytest #coaching #selfcare #selfhelp #awareness #spiritualcoach #spiritualcoaching #astrology #astrologer #tarot #archetype #archetypes

Пікірлер: 48

@rengsn4655 9 ай бұрын

as a 5, i would sooner give away the diamond than other people's secrets

@MichaelGaribaldi 5 ай бұрын

Absolutely!!! (I'm a five and a Deacon, so I get to do this as a vocation. 😊)

@tjtj7161 Ай бұрын

I must be a 5w4 as a graphic designer. I identify with this, but I'm able to connect more with my emotions and honestly don't have a problem with multitasking. I definitely need to decompress. If I have a weekend where I need to have people over, I feel like I didn't get a weekend. I need at least one day a week where I can be alone, or just with my SO.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Ай бұрын

Thanks for commenting! Definitely sounds like 5w4!

@evepolder7355 4 ай бұрын

I’ve watched several videos and read a couple books about enneagrams recently. Until your video, I didn’t think I was any type. Most enneagram “experts” have a negative, almost visceral view of type 5 people. They all describe us as robots who suck the joy out of a room. I don’t feel that is me at all. You are the first content provider I have heard who seems to have some compassion for the 5’s, which seems to me to be the biggest redeeming quality of using personality typing. So, thank you. I am curious though. I am absolutely in my head, but I don’t think I use it to avoid emotions at all. I am typically more aware of my emotions than my peers. I don’t mind feeling them at all. I do, however, seem to experience life on so many levels at once that it is rare that I react to a situation solely on emotion. And I seem to feel more than one emotion in any given situation. For instance, if there is an emotionally charged situation, my friend might feel a tremendous amount of righteous indignation, and that guides her reaction. I might feel righteous indignation, compassion, confusion, concern, disgust, and fear. In the same time it takes her to rant, I have assessed my emotions, facts, possible sides, and several resolutions. I look like I have not reacted emotionally, but that’s not true. The only thing I haven’t done is rant. I get that many people really want me to rant (or cry or do a dance). I don’t understand what the payoff is, but there seems to be one. I guess I tend to be more curious about emotions than ruled by them, but it does not mean I don’t have them or run from them. Nor does it mean that they aren’t possibly more intense than those of my demonstrative friends. It doesn’t mean I can’t sit with sorrow or express genuine joy for those around me. I suppose the head part comes in knowing when that is appropriate or helpful and not just a way to meet my own needs. I am rather cold when others force themselves into my internal world (including emotions), and it feels like it is for their own ego rather than my benefit. I can be warm and open if I sense someone is genuine in their intent. And I get enraged when people attempt to emotionally manipulate me. I guess I’m just asking any 5s if you can be a 5 and have a rich emotional core.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 4 ай бұрын

Thanks so much for commenting and also opening your questions up to other 5s. I hope to see some answers come in on this. I think 5s are hard for a lot of people to understand, especially if they lead with one of the Heart or Body types. People seem to think 5s are complicated, and yet (I think) we are pretty simple. Don't invade us and respect intelligence and we'll get along fine (I'm joking there, but it's kind of accurate 😉). I agree that as a 5 I don't use my head engird to avoid my emotions. I dive into those, but prefer to do it either alone (so I can "hear myself think"), or with someone who really gets me. I don't know if that might resonate. I also get what you describe about feeling more than one emotion at once. For me that's something of a sorting process... I feel all the things, and my energy goes to sorting them out to perhaps label and definitely to understand them. This happens later though, not while I'm actively in the situation. The feelings need to go into their proper bins in my mind. There is also pattern differentiation: this emotion is like that experience. If I can figure out the patterns, I understand the feeling. I agree... that's not avoiding emotions. It's how we understand them. Because it's hard to feel alll of it in the moment. We need that distance to step back and assess it all. So, also, after writing that paragraph, I may be willing to concede that 5s are a little complicated. Because when I'm doing that it seems perfectly normal and simple. But re-reading that? Yeah, a little complicated maybe. LOL. As to the rich emotional core you mention, I'd be really curious to hear from the 5w4s on that because I'd bet they'd have some interesting words to share. But as a 5w6, I can still relate to all of what you said. So let's open it up to the 5s out there... what do you all have to say about how you feel your feelings as a Head type? How would you explain it to the other 8 types trying to understand the inner 5 world when it comes to emotions? Thanks again for your comment. And for the kind words. I'm glad that not only did this episode hold meaning for you, but that you were also able to land on your type!

@blackmetalknight 3 ай бұрын

I am a 5w4 with sexual subtype. I actually have quite deep emotions, but I am extremely reserved in sharing them (or the information in my head in general!) unless I can fully trust the other person. As of now, I truly crave that special someone in my life 😢. I reccomend watching this video on the subtypes : kzfaq.info/get/bejne/Y6lmZMShubSsh58.htmlsi=gJRYNzIudS4Xl1AJ

@21cormorants Ай бұрын

I relate to this as well! I tend to journal through my emotions extensively in an attempt to truly understand them and get to the root of them (as well as of other peoples’ if we are in conflict). I tend to ruminate over negative worries (5w6 - Maybe that’s why?) and for me it often helps to offload my concerns to someone else to tell me either, “I wouldn’t worry about that,” or whatnot. I have difficulty putting those kinds of concerns to rest until someone else almost gives me permission. Otherwise I AM in my head about it, feeling it on loop for hours, days, months, years. I wonder if anyone else has the issue with making simple “gut decisions” that I do. Simple and barely consequential decisions like “what will I order for dinner” are over-analyzed, I think because I’m so out of touch with my gut instinct for simple things especially! My partner always tries to tell me “just get the first thing that comes to mind; it’s usually the right move!” But if I can’t identify what that is, it’s analysis paralysis over the dumbest stuff. Same with buying gifts. I look EXTRA stingy to family and friends because I over-analyze every gift to the point of waiting too long to get it… until it sells out, etc. I agree with you about getting enraged about emotional manipulation in particular. I think it’s so hard for us NOT to see it (generally speaking of course) that it’s super insulting… if they throw every trick in the book at me, I figure, “You obviously don’t respect my decisions; why are you trying to be friends with someone you obviously feel the need to fully reshape in your image? No thank you.”

@mailys012 Жыл бұрын

very accurate. I like your concept of hoarding time and information. Being exposed for something i didn't prepare for is terrifying

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for sharing your experience!

@mattdonlan7745 9 ай бұрын

Doom scrolling. I love that term. I've also heard it combined with bed rotting (staying in bed all day scrolling).

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 9 ай бұрын

Bed rotting is a new one for me! Thanks for commenting!

@dougg1165 8 ай бұрын

You described me so well I am sharing this with my family members, who are as confused as I have been. I live like a monk and I love my life. I understand how my family takes my lifestyle as a rejection. I try to explain but they don't get it. This episode describes me perfectly. If they don't get then I can rest easy knowing they never will. Thank you! ✌️❤️

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 8 ай бұрын

Aw, glad I could help lend insight. And I hope your family can see you and embrace your type 5 gifts. Yes, 5s need privacy and solitude. But they also bring grounding and objectivity and are great to have in the family system. I hope they can see and value all of what your Type 5 brings! Thanks for commenting!

@anngabriele1502 9 ай бұрын

You have described me at various stages in my life both good and bad. The part about respecting a secret is spot on. The times that people have divulged something I told them in confidence was enough for me to write them off forever and have. And yes I am very private and not an open book. As a five I often marvel at the way people reveal every nuance of their life and they do it with such high degree of self importance as if everyone really wants to know. Very strange to me….

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 9 ай бұрын

That sounds pretty spot on for a Type 5. Did you get to check out the episode on Type 5 and Water Violet flower essence? I suspect it might resonate for you too. Thanks for commenting!

@keithparker1346 2 ай бұрын

Remember it can be considered very strange not to be open about yourself

@renee4053 8 ай бұрын

Wish I would have known about this years ago. Could have made a difference with a lot of problems I had.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 8 ай бұрын

I totally get that. Me too. But we get the information when we get it and what matters most is what we choose to do with it then.

@vapalaca 9 ай бұрын

You are so good. I am 5 and you are spot on.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 9 ай бұрын

Thanks for commenting. Glad to hear the content resonates for you!

@bethnicholls3369 Ай бұрын

Thanks Maria, I am a 5w6. You are on point.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Ай бұрын

Thanks for the feedback! Glad you liked the episode!

@dexteryousef2380 9 ай бұрын

Resonates with me 100%. Thank you.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 9 ай бұрын

Glad you appreciated the content! Thanks for commenting!

@karneymac 10 ай бұрын

Very accurate and balanced type assessment skills . Rare!

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 10 ай бұрын

Thank you! Glad you liked the episode!

@littleshoeshopper 8 ай бұрын

This was really good and really helpful. Thank you.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 8 ай бұрын

You’re very welcome. Glad the information was helpful!

@stefanipicchi257 9 ай бұрын

Definitely feel seen and understood as a 5! Appreciate this video!

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 9 ай бұрын

Glad the content resonated for you! Thanks for commenting!

@Mikemikemike13579 5 ай бұрын

I’m a 5w4 and a retail manager. The bombarding amount of questions that customers have for me can be overwhelming, but I’ve taken it as a challenge

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 4 ай бұрын

That’s funny… in my clinic I occasionally I get patients who hammer me with questions about ailments they never included in their intake. And I’ll joke and say, “well, I love a challenge!” I never thought of that as being rooted in my 5, but probably is! Thanks for sharing!

@jerrysstories711 10 ай бұрын

Well, this channel sure looks interesting. I just started studying the Enneagram a couple of months ago, mostly as a tool for developing characters in my fiction, but I've really fallen down the rabbit hole. I like your unique spin of looking at various types relationships with narcissists. I'm looking forward to binging your channel some time! Btw, I'm a 5w4, and everything you said here is very accurate.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 10 ай бұрын

Glad you found the channel and are enjoying the content! And what a cool application of the Enneagram! Kind of funny too as years ago I taught creative writing workshops and teaching character development was my jam (this was way before I found the Enneagram). You are giving me some ideas for future episodes. Enjoy the trip down the rabbit hole! Please feel free to comment or ask questions!

@jerrysstories711 10 ай бұрын

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Oh, thank you for replying. And YES PLEASE, I would love to learn more about how to use the Enneagram to develop fictional characters! As a INTJ 5w4, I tend to write complex plots, deep ideas, and characters who are 5s, 8s, or 1-dimensional. Studying the Enneagram help me how narrow those choices were and gave me great hints for what other types my characters *could* be. It helped me create backgrounds for them by suggesting what experiences could shape them into who they are now. It gave me ideas for how they should act when they’re doing great and when they’re in a breakdown. I’m going my whole WIP character list using this wonderful new tool I have, but I have so much more to learn before I can do this systematically and well!

@jerrysstories711 10 ай бұрын

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher My BIGGEST issue in my writing is that I know my very best stories are the ones that started with an idea for a character, but when I have a story idea that a situation rather than a character, I struggle to craft engaging characters for it.

@jamescox8978 6 ай бұрын

Spot on in describing me as a Type 5. What was disappointing in the presentation was the absence of any insights into the director / directee relationship - any customizations of direction which work well with us Type 5s. Any comments?

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 6 ай бұрын

I try not to do absolutes in spiritual direction (making space instead for how the Spirit moves in the context of the enneagram in each conversation, which hopefully is always different). You may like the episode where I discuss prayers for the types… that may touch on some of what you’re seeking. Everyone enters as they are though, not as their type. Some are stressed, some focused on goals. Some in shadow. Some highly evolved. I like to give directees the opportunity to enter as they are each time… and only then do we weave the enneagram wisdom into the conversation. It’s all customized… moment to moment pretty much… as the Spirit so guides. Hope that helps.

@auntieb3621 6 ай бұрын

Death is not a great fear. It's not a fear at all. Overload and intrusion are yuck. Not knowing the answer doesn't scare me. It's something that delights me... More to learn 😂

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 6 ай бұрын

Interesting. Do you know your subtype? This could be part of it.

@auntieb3621 6 ай бұрын

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher so I am 5w4 subtype self-pres... But I am new to this stuff, relatively so anyhow. I hear that severe situations can complicate things. I was sold into human trafficking as a toddler. I wasn't free until the end side of my 3o's. I'm so over joyed to be able to learn and grow and be me as I am... It's still unbelievable for me some days that I'm not still locked in that cage... 💜 Thank you for your videos by the way. I love to learn and this is really great to see people as they are. It's magical in a way. It unlocks a lot of the mystery that always seemed to allude me. The major pieces that I'm missing are the emotional responses and the lack of, what I perceived to be logical thought but instead emotive responses that appear to be survival responses. I loved that way for a while. Emotional responses seem to be survival responses, not well thought out. I'm not wrong about it all the time... But I am some of the time. Emotions confuse me 😂

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher 6 ай бұрын

@@auntieb3621 I'm so sorry you have seen such a painfully hard journey, especially at such a tender age. I am grateful that you have come through it and are now free. Your story certainly accounts for your earlier reply and makes great sense to me, and yes, such a history would complicate things, I agree. I also think (especially if it's strong) that your 4 wing can perhaps help you delight in not knowing the answer. The 4 energy likes to be unique, so finding a tough answer might make them feel special (and thus the risk of being wrong would be a lesser concern). It's a possibility anyway. Also, there's that stress line to 7 to consider as a 5... 7 is the Epicure, who likes to experience things and wants to have fun (learning delights you, so "fun" has a 5 vibe to it. Imagine a stack of a lot of books, you're reading a little bit of all of them, but never seem to finish one... this is a common theme for a stressed out 5... there's a sort of chaotic joy around learning new things. It need not be exactly this for you, but it is an example). But the lens of the survival response would definitely be in this. You have a very real understanding of true danger, so having the wrong answer is small stuff given what you've lived. Glad you found the episode helpful. And so glad you have found the enneagram! Thank you for sharing!

@auntieb3621 6 ай бұрын

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher you are so tender and kind. I read your replies to one of my best friends. We both ooo'd and awwwed... At your sweet remarks. I really enjoy conversing with you. Thank you again

@stevenwebbjrhistory Жыл бұрын

Death is a bigger fear than not having the answer.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Жыл бұрын

A bit of hyperbole. Perhaps a better way of saying it is that not having the answer feels like death. It’s not a “bigger fear” than death so much as it is a visceral response around not having the answer.