Hi everyone!! ヾ(＠＾▽＾＠)ﾉ I just wanted to hop in here and say, "WOW." Just absolutely, wow. I am in disbelief at how many of you actually watched this video. Not only that, but the *whole* 1+ hour thing!! The many extremely thoughtful comments from so many of you have me tearing up. I can't believe how much we all share in common through our feelings, our struggles (especially with self-doubt and anxiety!), and life experiences. I'm still working through responding to as many as I can, and I sincerely apologize if I am unable to respond to yours, but please be assured I have read each and every one. And each and everyone has brought a *huge* smile to my face. Some a laugh, and some an eye-brow raise...? (☉‿☉✿) Ahahahaha! Thank you all sososo much again for taking the time to listen to my story. I feel so connected to so many of you. I feel this overwhelming sense of warmth within my heart. And I feel this renewed sense of excitement to get going with this new comic project I've been dreaming of releasing. I'm crossing my fingers that the story I share through this comic will touch many of you in similar ways. And to those of you who are like me - getting up, and falling down, and getting up again to chase your creative dreams - I wish nothing but all the best to you on your journey!! It's not easy surviving as an artist in this world, but to those of you who are brave enough to keep getting up even when you get knocked down (and after taking a well-deserved break to recover, of course!), I commend you. And I believe that although you may not be making any money from the work you put out there, your work is priceless nonetheless. You are sharing a real part of yourself with the rest of the world - a part of you that is likely to touch and inspire someone unexpectedly. And how beautiful is the thought of that (｡◕ ‿ ◕｡) It's likely that you've already touched someone with your creative work! Try to think back and remember. It's so easy to disregard and sweep kind comments under the rug, especially in a world full of so much negativity and criticism. Just keep hold of all the memories of you have of reaching others with your art. Keep hold and let that continue to fuel your fire. (✿◕ ‿ ◕✿) Love, Riniapple

You didn’t fail. The fact you left an unsatisfying job to pursue your dreams is a feat conquered.

This is probably the riskiest move for anyone who's trying to make art as their career. Unless you have a lot of savings, it could work but still risky. I went to cons and asked professionals and I assumed making art was their only job but I was wrong. Some of them still have to keep their day job to support their art and only minority of freelancers are able to do it. This is pretty much the reality of pursuing art so dont fall for those "take a leap and chase your dreams" advices or videos that you see on Instagram or other social media. This doesnt only happen with art specifically but other creative careers as well like music. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it but just be smart and really think about all the consequences and sacrifices that you need to make to take that "leap of faith". Lastly always dont forget to have fun while making art.

The captain of a ship doesnt see the desired destination for 99% of the journey’s duration, and not for 1 second during that time does he think ‘I’ve failed’. You haven’t failed, you succeeded the moment you wanted this goal and set yourself on the path to achieve it, simply keep moving forward. You’ve succeeded.

To be honest as an artist myself I've noticed the ones that typically succeed in the long run, keep their day job and spend a few hours over months, years decades working on their craft after. Keep the source of income and dream alive until it's at a level ready to be professional, you can follow what you love but not have to worry about income for some time. This is as someone that's tried and failed over and over since I left foster care at 18, and has pursued art seriously all my life. I've also lived in complete poverty for many years while still studying and practicing relentlessly. This isn't something for the faint of heart.

The problem I see with a lot of success stories is that they don’t warn you about these possibilities but that’s cause they succeeded. I am proud of you for trying and please continue trying. Most scientists who won Nobel prizes failed for the first experiment to make a breakthrough. Resistance is important. Also many success strories don’t talk about diversifying your stream of income but just putting your eggs in one basket.

This is why I wanted to work in animation specifically; it was an art job that also happened to be a 9-5. But the job market is a mess for multiple industries right now, so I felt backed into a corner to try and start up a small business while at the same time trying to find a day job. But according to overall market trends, companies across the board aren't hiring at the moment. Even fast food and retail are increasingly more difficult to get into nowadays

Very similar story here too - dream to be an illustrator, get scared of the difficulty to make art your living, working soulless jobs, giving up, etc. But in my case AI was the nail in the coffin. Now I think that your passion should be a hobby, not the thing that your life depends on. It's just too much pressure. Also, if you make it your career, you can't just do whatever you want no more. You have clients, responsibilities, etc. That will bring down the enjoyment a lot. May even make you hate it. Art career is just too much of a gamble. But do NOT give art up. Work at your passion. No need to give it up. I too have an all or nothing personality. It's not good. Art as a hobby is fine too. Problem is having enough free time for hobbies of any kind. That's why I am trying to figure out how to make a living without sacrificing your time. That is the holy grail, not turning your hobby into work.

I am pretty much same as you. I followed my parent's advise to study bioengineering. Ever since then, it has been eating me out during my undergraduate studies and I barely passed. After I graduated, I took on a full-time job for about 3 years till now, and I am saving up for my leap of faith to start doing composing and music full-time. Please give me luck... I am very sad writing this, because I know I have a limited time on Earth and I sorta need.... NEED to get my songs out of my system and sorta give the universe my piece of contribution. Otherwise I feel very stuck. But now I have quite an amount of savings, I'm thinking of going to a laid-off place like Vietnam for several months and work solely on music. (All the while meeting with my other half) Yeah, thank you so much for making this video, it tells me that I am not alone in my quest. Yeah my parents are still not very supportive, but I don't care and I am tuning them out. I kinda sorta hate them, but you know they are getting old and asian have this mindset so yeah. Not caring about them anymore. Handling a job is already very respectful, and while doing it you do art too. It will definitely be a challenge. People always say do both until art takes off, but it's crazy ya know. It's not like a full-time job doesn't has it's own stress. I really hope you make it and be successful in your own way. Be at a status quo where you can say that you're satisfied with your standing and where you are, I guess that will be the best and what I will want for myself too.

i just finished up a two-year ux contract at riot and my first day without the job this month made me feel so free and full of hope. i felt so ready to become the person i've put on the backburner for so long. i have a small but mighty safety net, enough to keep me housed. i am totally open to failing but i just refuse to go back, i refuse to be golden handcuffed...if i'm going to take a salary job, i want it to at least interest me, and that's that! and if it doesn't interest me, i'll do other things for money! i'm trying my best to be determined. 27 is the youngest i'll ever be again so the second-best chance is now :') i love your art by the way!

As someone who is 30, just learning to draw for the first time ever, and wants to pursue illustration as a career, this is probably the very last video I should watch...

This is so real 😭You and everyone else that has ever tried to pursue a career making art are *so* brave. I think so many of us have a beautiful creative spirit with a need to share our stories, and it's probably the hardest thing in the world to do, so it's nice to hear we're absolutely not alone. :) It's okay to try and fail, you will survive to try again some day. Don't give up, creative work feeds your soul, just like the 9-5 feeds your body. There is never shame in putting survival and mental health first.

i love the honesty of your storytime! we always hear of successful artists who make a living off their art,, but not much of those who weren't so lucky. thank you for this!!

dang. im no illustrator but i watched the entire thing, this feels like a parallel universe where you took path of going back to a job, while i took the path of dreams, in other words, unemployment (im on year 2). i'd like to assure you the grass is always greener as if you took the non job route like i am, you'd still have financial concerns like i do everyday thank you for sharing your experiences, it puts into perspective my decision and doubts, and this whole video resonated so much with me i feel less alone in my experience.

I can really relate to this. My dream was also to be a children's book illustrator and then I ended up making comics. But there was a point where it was like, "What am I doing this for?" It lead me down a road of questioning why I was making art... was it for money, to be seen by others, self esteem? I definitely think depression is linked there because I felt seen and even if someone offered me a ton of money to make a kids book, I think my attitude would have prevented me from wanting it or enjoying it. It made me really dig deeper to as to what I had really hoped for with "making it" in my art practice. Part of it was community... wanting to be connected to others. Other things were fantastical... living in Japan and working with other illustrators. As I made friends with an illustration community in Japan and visited there, I found out they're facing the same struggles. It's just a superficial goal that doesn't lead anywhere. To me, it all boils down to how much are you enjoying and feel invested in your every day life, regardless of the art. The art is a practice, not a goal. When I hear your stories about the different jobs you do, I don't hear how your every day life is fulfilling. I think until we face head-on those issues, we won't find that passion for our practice.

You are SO brave for sharing your story... From the bottom of my heart, thank you for that.

Thank you for sharing your story, I relate sooo much. I quit my secure job too for illustration and I expected not easy, but I didn't expect it to be quite this hard 😅. It's pretty heavy on my mental health and I am currently trying to find a part time job, so I don't feel like I am doing nothing, even though I know I work every day for it, but yeah. I understand why you felt the need to get back to that feeling of security. Your style is so so nice, I don't understand why people, especially those in the industry, tend to give out advice like "this is not what people prefer right now". I mean how do you know? Isn't it the point to be diverse? And there are 8 billion people on this planet and most of them are on the internet, so I can't believe all of us prefer the same style or whatever. Granted not all of them read comics, but I think each of us can have our own crowd. I am looking forward to following your journey 💕

As an artist, when people ask me for advice about becoming an artist this is my response. Only become a professional artist if you can’t be happy doing anything else. The financial uncertainty of being an artist is so hard. There is a reason the arts are full of people with either rich parents or have a partner with a good paying job. You need years of financial runway to give yourself the time to be successful. The overnight success stories are mostly fake. They are years in the making. The few that are true are extremely rare. I’m sorry you are struggling. I’ve been there. I’m close to being there much of the time. I’ve learned I can’t do a full time job and keep up with an art practice. When you feel ready next time maybe get a part time job while you’re also working on finding clients. But it’s also totally legitimate to just do it for yourself and not turn art making into a job. For a lot of people the money side ruins art. Good luck

You tried, and that's more than most people will ever muster up. It's not a failure, it's an experience and you will never regret what you've accomplished!

Leaving is one thing but admitting your failures all out in the open takes an immense amount of courage. Youre brave and thank you for this, i learnt so much.

I wanted to write a lot of things, but in the end it all boils down to one thing. Your skill level doesn't cut it yet. The fundamentals are very shaky, storytelling is not there yet, your visual ideas and style is not there yet. You don't have to be outstanding with all of these to make it on social media, but at least two of them. If you want to go the commercial route, then you have to be excellent with everything to be even considered. You started with trying to build a portfolio and a business, but it takes at least 2-3 years of intensive grinding to build up basic skills before you can get to the career building part. I get that you paid for a review and got nice feedback, but you are not going to get honest feedback this way probably ever. One reason is that most people offer these to build their own follower base and diverse revenue sources ( with no intention to train their own competition ), other reason is that it's culturally not acceptable to say anything negative anymore. Most self taught artists worked an average 9 to 5 job and built their art in their free time, we gotta pay bills. And that keeps up after you enter the field because you can only make enough money out of commercial projects. In the end you may as well just do what you want to do even if nobody pays for it.

Love hearing other artists’ stories and I’m excited for your new work! After realizing that I preferred a job with routine, I decided to become a teacher so I could work on my art in the summers (and because I enjoy it). It was definitely the best decision for me but I still feel like a failure sometimes. I remember seeing the same Minnie Smalls video and being so inspired. It took me a long time and quitting posting my art online to remember that I started doing art because it was fun and meaningful to me, not just so I could post it. I admire full time artists but I have to remember why I chose my path. One day, I hope I can make a successful small and local art business to do part time but I don’t dream of going viral anymore.

This is so sincere and heartfelt. As someone working towards being a full-time artist after some time away from it, it's so comforting hearing you share your realistic experiences

As an artist who is also in the process of pivoting… I just wanted to share a few thoughts. Every artist needs a portfolio as a proof of process in order to attract clients. One of the things you buy with art school in addition to critiques as you mentioned is time. That time is essential to build a portfolio as you found out. Many artists take years to shop that portfolio around to attract clients. You go from artist mode to advertising / promoting mode. So you did the right thing. I can’t afford to take time off to rebuild my portfolio, so I’m having to do it slowly along with my day job. If I could take time off, I’d also take a 1-3 month break to build my new portfolio. And then I would go back to my day job and slowly trickle content & promoting my work until I picked up clients. The promoting of your work takes time and is unpredictable. So it’s better to have a day job while you’re in the promo process. Additionally, take workshops and get involved in your local arts community. The more people see you and your work, the more opportunities you’ll get. Decorate your office with your work! I did that recently and was immediately referred to a mural project by a coworker. There’s a lot of different ways to get your name out there. Local might be better than online especially when you’re starting out. Webcomics are notoriously slow to build. Social media & webcomics build a following with consistency and regular updates. Social media & webcomics are long haul projects and I would absolutely recommend pursuing that alongside a day job if you’re interested in going that route. I hope this helps you in some way ❤ Good luck with your next project! Every artist should have something of their own. Client work and personal work fulfill two very different parts of your heart. As an artist I’ve found I felt empty and unfulfilled when I couldn’t work on personal work due to client work. So definitely learn how to balance that as soon as possible - consider your day job as your client work. All the best!

Even if this did not go to plan, I am sure that when you are old you will not regret this leap of faith. Later in life nobody wishes that they had spent more time working and less time following their dreams.

I can relate to this - always wanted to pursue art but never had an 'in' - there were years I would forget about it and then passionately reconnect with it. For me I think it helps to find inspiration and pursue it without thinking too much about the money otherwise it is too much pressure. It depends on the situation but I find it easier to stay dedicated to making art when I'm not trying to get anything out of it. If you're a full time artist i guess it is a different story.

Omg, this was like listening to my own story! 😮 Except that I worked as a freelance artist for ten years and then had to quit due to mental exhaustion. I took my first "normal" job in years last year and felt a huge relief after that. I lost my Northern star in life (the dream of being a full-time artist) and I don't really draw anymore but I hope I will find the spark again. I want to make art just for the self-indulgence as well. No pressure to succeed, just to have the luxury of being able to create. 🙂 Thank you for making this video! I think it's important to hear all kinds of stories and this definitely comforted me a lot. ❤

Do NOT beat yourself up over this you adorable macaron of a person. You did nothing wrong. If there’s one thing humans are good at, its reaching for something they want bc everything be damned. And its chaotic, got its risks, struggles - but we’re not all knowing. Its the only way we get what we want. But we need to keep reaching or we’ll never grasp whatever it is we’re after. You took the first step and hardship towards the life you want, and its going to be yours bc this is YOUR journey. Also, i appreciate the truckstop compassion you’re giving by making vids like this as you continue your story.

As someone who also struggles balancing my 9 to 5 with making art and trying to find my place in the illustration world, thanks for sharing. I also stopped making art for some years and it has been difficult to restart that spark.

As a 32 year old who recently got laid off and is taking the year off to pursue her own creative pursuits (while starting a youtube channel to document) hearing your ups and downs hit so close to home. Somehow, when you take a chance on your dreams and put them to the test, you now have no excuses... When things don't go as you think, you become confronted with all your insecurities as a creative. It's a wildly empowering path but not for the faint of spirit. Anyways, wishing everyone here the best of luck on their creative endeavors. Also, your voice is the sweetest sound and I could creepily listen to you for hours. 😂

I've never seen your channel, but your title totally caught my eye because that's EXACTLY what I went through too. Around 1:02:00, I realized that the things I loved to do don't make enough money, and art is REALLY REALLY REALLY competitive. In my art classes, very few people MADE it. But I love doing art. I keep drawing, sketching, and doodling a lot. Like you mentioned, creativity and artwork don't have to go away; they'll come through in other ways. It's not so much about finding a 'job that you love and you'll never work again' but more about finding a job that pays well and you can tolerate. The key word is tolerate.

I don't think anyone can tell you that you did it wrong ultimately you just did what was right for you depending on the situation. But I want to say to everyone in regards to the anxiety if you're anxiety prone you need to trick it. Anxiety hates taking risks, keeping the risks at minimum is easier for reaching goals. For example instead of quitting cold turkey, cutting down your hours instead as you gain more work, or temping every few months or going back to education, taking a career break if that is accessible to you, condensing your hours...It's a bit longer this way but it could help manage the anxiety so it doesn't stop you completely from doing what you want to do. There's probably some other options but this is all I can think of. My anxiety would never have let me quit the unfulfilling job to pursue my dream so I've had to find other ways.

I am an artist/illustrator with dreams, and I am very grateful to you for sharing your story. Don’t give up; your art is amazing, and I know you will go far. You are very brave, and this video has inspired me a lot. I also dream of dedicating myself to art, but sometimes life doesn't go that way. I am 29 years old and have tried several times to pursue art. I won’t give up because it’s something I love, and I would like to live a life where I can dedicate myself to something that makes me happy. I just moved to Canada and left everything behind... my family, my friends, my home. But I brought my dream of being an artist with me in my suitcase :) At the moment, I am not working until I can get my work permit, so I want to take advantage of this time to become a better artist and pursue my dreams. I would really like to get involved and be in touch with the artist community in Canada. It would be nice to make new friends, share our art, and our passion for art. I hope the best for you and your future! 🥰 Thank you for making this video

its very brave of you to jump into an industry that you werent specifically prepared for in college and perfect your skills regardless and relentlessly follow your dreams despite all that anxiety (not to mean that in a way that you were ignorant and jumped into things without properly being aware because i believe that you gotta start somewhere if youre serious about fulfilling ur hopes). i definitely think stuff is gonna work out for you in terms of ur artistic career so dont give up on social media and art !!!

Thank you for sharing your story. It's truly inspiring. Remember that you didn't t fail, you're still in the journey, not at the end of it.

I was a Sculptor for 13 years. I was always thinking about how to sell my Models all my life but the thing with me is I always wanted to improve my Sculpting and I need to buy molding and casting because I don't want my models to break. BUT I Never sold Anything! At one point I found a Job for making toys and I messaged this toy company and they asked me to show them a picture of my model but I never did because I wasn't finished with my model so I messaged this toy company way...too soon. About five years earlier before 2024 I had an Eye Problem that I can no longer deal with Chemicals like Clay, Paint charcoals for drawings all that! I had to STOP EVERYTHING to do with Physical Art and only do Digital Art. My World went downhill for me because I was Only good with Physical Art not Digital Art so I had to Retrain Myself to do Digital Art. Digital Art is Awesome but let me tell You, NOTHING is more Amazing then to hold the Model of what I Physically created with my very own Hands! It was AMAZING and there's not a Day that goes by that I wished I can Physically Sculpt Again! To hold my own work like if I feel Sad I hold my Model, If I feel Happy I hold my Model in my hands as a celebration! So my Point to You is Money is important for everyone but you need to Expand your Artwork like instead of drawing a Cute object drawing something you Normally don't draw like something Manly or Aliens or something because that will Open your Mind and Eyes! I'm a Man, and I've sculpted some female people and bought female clothes for my female Models I've Sculpted. That is Weird RIGHT for me as a man? But guess what, it opens my mind that WOW it Showed Me just how Truly Beautiful Women's Truly are! Love your art, Expand your Art and don't focus too much on Money because your Skills and Open minded is something money can't buy! Your Video all I heard is Money, Money, Money. Let me ask you if you rather lose your Art Skills or have No Money which would you take? I'm pretty sure most people would take their Art Skills or their passions over Money. Money doesn't buy Happiness. So my life Now is about spreading my Art and Sculpting skills to my Nephews, Nieces and Relatives so when they grow up they'll be Amazing Artists as well. I take care of my parents and I don't make a dime from Art but again I do Digital Art as experience Nowadays. So if you can still do your Art DO IT Because the Worst thing that your body can tell you is "No more Art" like what my Eyes told me "No more Sculpting for Me....FOREVER! You Don't want that in your Soul.

the similarity i share with your story is wild. Even down to the month and year I left my 9-5 with a similar plan and circumstance with my partner and savings to pursue my dreams. What I found interesting was that my story went very much the same. The first year or so I loved it, but soon enough it became hard to do the things I loved because of the worries about the longevity of the lifestyle and when I would start making money again. Eventually I realized I too would be better off getting a 9-5 again.. to allow myself some peace of mind while I continue to pursue the projects I started. So far, I'm at the finding a 9-5 job part of my journey again and hoping it comes with that sense of relief you talked about as well as the balance I need to continue my projects. I can't thank you enough for sharing your story, as its felt incredibly validating of what I've been feeling the past two years of this wild journey.

I loved hearing about you stepping outside your comfort zone at around 41:00. It was incredible watching your face light up to and reminds me that every time I step out of my comfort zone, it's scary at first but so so worth it in the end. It's just so tough stepping outside my bubble, UGHHH. Thank you for your amazing testimony. You are an incredible inspiration and I hope you find the success you are looking for.

I quit my job to persue further studies and just started learning art. I also lost so much opportunities with the mindset of "all or nothing" I do feel regretfully looking back but this video made me feel better. And you definitely did not fail. U have achieved so much in life and im proud of you❤

You are very brave for making this video and of course for trying to pursue your passion, most people don't even get to the point of trying! It's a tough career to break into and comics is some of THE toughest, along with animation. I very much relate to your story, my parents also pushed me into a "safer" career and I ended up getting 3 unrelated degrees before I've decided to give it a try after all in my late 20s and got my first art job at a game studio. I loved it but it was an entry job with a very small wage so I've tried going freelance for over a year and failed to make it a sustainable career even though by that time I was drawing for 10 years and had pretty good skills but not a great portfolio or idea what I want to do. I've also spiraled down into a pretty bad depression (and it was in the middle of covid too). But then I've managed to get a good game studio job and even though it wasn't anything particularly fun, to draw all day and be off and free by 6 and to get a VERY nice paycheck for all of that fixed my mental (and physical) health and helped me improve my skills. After two years opportunity presented itself to pivot to the job with smaller pay but the one I was more passionate about (book cover illustration!) but I was cautious this time and worked both for a couple of months. Not sure I recommend that but I was determined to feel it out before the jump this time and then I did jump. Been working with the same company for 2 years now and overall pretty happy! I don't know if everyone could or should be going the same route I did but now I'm very passionate about discouraging artists from taking risky leaps because I've seen SO many people burn out completely and abandoning art forever. It takes strategic thinking and some luck for those who want to do it full-time, it's absolutely possible. But of course to keep it just as a creative outlet is also a valid way to go! One thing I want to advice you please NEVER sign up to Originals. It's the way for them to exploit unexperienced artists and not worth it at all. KZfaq and slow and steady rise of your audience is a much healthier way to go about it! I wish you best of luck in your journey!

I've been following you for 6 years and had no idea you were struggling with the same things that I have been. I'm so happy and proud of you for making it this far and pursuing art and your dreams once again. You're a huge inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing your story :D

I think a lot of people can relate to this - have gone through or will go through something similar. I went through a different story, but ended up at pretty much the same conclusion, about taking things as they come. Like you, I'm also back to an inspired point in my life now, but with it still lingers a sense a fear... because of getting hurt by my own unrealistic expectations in the past. I'm fearful I'm still the same naive person, just in a different way? Worrying that there's something I'm not seeing right now, and this peaceful time will also crash. It's very touch and go, with cycles of confidence and doubt/loss. Beyond art, a lot of things happened that changed my attitude about life, and consequentially what I want from art. Sometimes I believe I've "wised up" and have finally learned how to just be okay with everything, and sometimes I worry I'll regret this time in the future too. Maybe the real answer is that this uncertainty is permanent. I'm seeing similar quarter- or mid-life "crisis" experiences from my non-artist friends and their professional careers as well. But I think it affects artists/musicians or anyone with a "passion project" the most, because those passions just take so much time, effort... and emotional investment. Anyways it looks like we're probably going to go through the next phase together, of whatever this is 😂 Thanks for the video, it helped me do some self-reflection. It also helped me get out of one of my "lost" cycles, and I have some new answers for myself. So thank you, it was truly meaningful to me 🙂

Just 2 years ago I abandoned drawing and beacoming an artist I was so lost in depression and was trying to avoid everything, 2 years later I’m feeling a lot better and looking at this video I am going to pick up on drawing again and go full in.

It happened to me exactly the same as you, this was really helpful and you are so brave and kind, thank you for sharing your story. I cried with you during the video. I remember saying the same words to my psychologist. "i quit my dreams, i losing the light that had guided me since childhood" and finding myself in that ocean lost and without support. I am also happy to know that your friends supported you and you have a very nice space to do art. I would like to be able to live alone one day, that is a great relief since you do not owe anything to anyone except yourself and your dog hehe but other younger people demand that we generate income or study something else at the university, because we are at their house, so it is not easy, besides in my country we have ugly and tiny, dark rooms (at least mine is like that jaja ) your room is beautiful and I bet it motivates you to create, it goes a lot with your style (you art is beautifull) and your desk is healthy for your back, what you can be most happy about is knowing that now you will not be exploited by a company that will make you draw whatever they one quickly and badly. You will create true art in your own style and desire. Creative freedom is also a gift that professionals do not have because they are told to do things they do not like in very short periods of time where they have to stay up all night every day to finish or stay in the office long hours for free, is stressful.In general artists are not valued, so don't feel like it's your fault, you are an artist for what you know how to do, not for whether they hire you to do what they want. You do your art freely and I assure you that many of us will connect with it.

I resonated with your experience, especially the part where you talked about feeling like you were drifting in the ocean with no purpose, giving up on the dream you were chasing or wanting most of your life would be like giving up a part of yourself, a big part. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Cool to find someone with same feeling and that emptyness and depression with good jobs making money and being stable. I quit drawing for 1 year as well just working, but I was getting that feeling as well. I got so frustrated and depressed that I didn't even wanted to grab a pen. I'm still fighting against it, but you got further that I got. This year I worked again and took a pen without a bad feeling. When I say you got further, it because you fought, and you shared your art, and worked a lot, I worked a lot but all is just a memory now. Keep working, don't give up, not as I did. I still procrastinating a lot due to my bad experience with art, but maybe one day I will get that spark you got that made you move :3

I am only in 20 minutes, but I really appreciate the honesty and unedited feel of this video - so refreshing in the jungle of videos that feel so fake

I really resonated with your feeling of drifting in the middle of the ocean and not knowing where to go or swim. I have also been trying for so long to break into the illustration industry. I'm probably more frustrated by the fact that I put myself into so much debt, and well, there's nothing to show. I also feel re-ignited sometimes by new project ideas, but a lot of my old ideas - I feel like I'm forgetting them. And quite frankly, at 35, I'm about ready to put it all down. I felt such sadness, I've not processed it yet, tbh, and kind of just realized, I want to go to therapy....

You are indeed super brave! I am so glad you found your own way to follow your passion! You definitely didn’t fail, or, if you will, you failed the “artist way”: you realised what wasn’t working and changed it, as opposed to completely giving up due to frustration. That’s failing successfully 👌

I have never related to any video more in my life. This is the exact journey I've been on from start to finish. I'm currently at the point in my journey where I'm trying to quit my 9-5 job to pursue art, but I’ve been putting it off because of the exact insecurities you described with the possibility of regrets and financial instability. But I still have the tiny voice telling me to pursue my art and my passion. I've gotten to the point where I have so much anxiety about pursuing art as a career that I haven't drawn for years now, but I recognize I'm giving up my dream without even trying.. I very much so have the all or nothing, black or white thought process as well which isn't helpful :') I hope I can find the same middle ground as you to pursue art for the love of creation, but I feel like I'm a long way away. You are super brave to push past your anxieties and move forward ❤ I really hope this next part in your journey fulfills your artistic passion

This is a story many aspiring artists need to hear. Great video!😊

Thank you so much for this video!! It's been a long-time dream of mine to make comics for children, but I'm currently in school for a medical job so I can make enough part time to live comfortably. A lot of those videos (that mean well!) talk about quitting normal jobs and putting all your effort into art, but... that just makes me anxious, and I feel as though I wouldn't enjoy making my comics if I was focused on money. At this point, I'm expecting to get little or no money for my comics, and I'm more excited working on them. They bring me joy, and I just want to share them with people. Sorry, this is all a little long, but thank you for talking about the situation realistically!! It's really helpful. I wish you all the best in whatever comes next for you!!

Its the uncertainty that weighs on us which makes us question ourselves daily. "Failure" is an opportunity for growth. ironically I just started doing art and learning anything i can to improve. The thing i say to people that asks "what should they do?" I usually tell them to go find themselves - really look into what youre really passionate about. It seems like you have a true passion in art which is amazing but the weight of uncertanty is preventing you from doing your best. Dont let uncertainty stop you. With risk comes reward. I am currently looking for a full time job right now and while i wait for a response (hopefully very soon) I want to continue learning art.

This is such wisdom that you are sharing, and everyone who has thought about taking a similar path to this NEEDS to hear your story, especially young people who aren't sure what to pursue as a college major/career I'm not an illustrator, but definitely adjacent to that, as a motion gfx artist. I went to design school, and I'm very thankful to be using my degree. But if I was starting over, I definitely would've considered going into a career that wasn't art/design related, for similar concerns of employment opportunities. There are pros and cons to the job, and what you said about feeling like you HAD to make a career out of it to be successful is what many people likely feel. For anyone thinking of going into art/design, know this: unless you're fully self employed, you won't get to create all the art you want 100%- when working with clients, you are ultimately catering to THEIR vision. And that can get frustrating. For those thinking of quitting, really reconsider if you don't have a game plan...and I'd say try to make use of your PTO if possible to take days off to focus on art!

I’m 31 and going into the art career world and it’s something I wish I would have done sooner than later for sure. But as an older person I feel more confident in what I wanna produce and the future comics that I’m going to publish one day is something for me and other (whomever they are )to enjoy and that’s the best I can hope for ❤

I accidentally came across your video and realized that I am currently in a similar situation. Your words are exactly what I really needed to hear, thank you))💙

I totally stumbled upon this video and think it was meant to be cause it really resonated. This is a really hard topic to even say out loud and share so I commend you for it. Showing that vulnerability and being real in a way is refreshing. I'm going through something similar and the financial burden of everything really does weigh heavy. It feels like it takes every ounce of energy to just do anything creative with that burden hanging over. Its sad that as creatives we are forced to choose between what brings us joy versus what we have to do to survive. (Even at the cost of us turning our art into money) That being said, its great that you still have a joy and love for illustration and storytelling. That's something that will always be with you and that year that you stepped away was healing you needed (Especially after powering through your portfolio) Glad to hear you won't give up--your art reaches people and I'm sure has inspired someone to pursue their own creative journey! I look forward to seeing your creative journey in the future!! You got this!!

Hi thank you for making this video. I'm in my mid thirties and start to pursue artist as a career. Sometimes I also feel anxious for not having stable income. But I have a part time job as an art director to maintain my life. Actually I've worked as an art director for over 10 years. I've seen a lot of illustrators/artists having a part time job at the beginning. Some of them developed products to sell so they can can have a semi passion income. From a perspective of an art director, the art you shown is amazing. Please don't give up on your dreams. Things need time to build up and figure out. You might not only want to just focus on your skills and storytelling but also want to know how to position and market yourself and your work. Wish you the best!

Hi from a fellow Canadian! So much of your story resonates me with me, especially the black and white thinking. I left my job about a year and a half ago, originally giving myself 6 months to just chill out. I didn't originally leave to focus on trying to make illustration a career, but I ended up figuring out that that was my longer term goal. I don't know if I would've figured that out if I hadn't taken some proper time off work. I'm starting to apply to regular 9-5 jobs now and have found myself slipping into that all-or-nothing thinking -- completely putting off drawing or reaching out to illustration-related people for long periods of time 'cause I feel like I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. I hope if I do get a regular job, that I can still find the energy to make art outside of work and keep chipping away at the larger goal. I'm hoping that identifying the goal is the first big piece of the puzzle and at least now I have a better idea of why I'm working in the first place (for stability while I work towards this goal!). So glad to hear at the end of your story that you're making art again. I hope we can all find the right balance of creative fulfillment and not having to worry about money lol!

Thank you so much for this video! I'm someone who has constant self doubt because of my age, still living with my parents, not having a job and wanting to persue a career as an artist/writer/game developer (I guess creator would be a better term haha), so your video was really inspiring and even informative for me! It answered questions I never found the answer for, it made me a little more determined, even if my conditions are so limiting... So yeah, I just wanna thank you a bunch!

I was waiting for you to get to the part where you failed but it never came 🥺 I don't know if you chose this title for virality but I'd say your experience was a testament to your bravery and passion for art, not a failure at all!! Just give it more time and I'm sure you'll find more opportunities for your creative talents! You're inspiring and gave me a sense of peace for my own pursuit of my dreams

Ive kept a job for the 6 or so years ive been making art just so i can pay the bills, buy art supplies and buy other artists art. I romanticize and at the same time terrified of full time art becoming like a job... It can be tricky finding the balance. Anyways You should still be proud and not let it measure your success youre obviously skilled and talented, I subscribed and wish you the best on your journey, you can do it.

my goodness! this is so hard. I quit my job at Apple in October of last year and YES i am on this journey of self doubt and fear, the almost recoiling and trying to figure out HOW... "how am i gonna make any money!?!?" That 6 month checkpoint is such a big moment where you feel like you can "make it or break it" Especially as you start digging into your savings and you watch it dwindle. BUT i loved your really heavy shares about an hour in and im so glad your are back. I tried to be an artist in the way that the "art world" and my art school expected me to, now im taking a completely different approach and it feels so fulfilling! SO SO SO excited to see what you do coming back to yourself and your creativity again after leaving. 💕

I love your content. I just started practicing illustration a few weeks back, just to find my human side by myself after getting bombarded by AI content, my workplace forcing me to use AI to survive...made me feel so lost..so i started a new project - i illustrate a Pride and Prejudice book from scratch. Make it the way *I* like without letting AI and tech giants dictating what I should and shouldn't do.

Yes, create to express yourself. Just like this video is self expression, this is your art, live. You can include your toons and anything else in your videos and posts.

this is the longest video I have watched on youtube I guess and it was worth every second. I am soooooo thankful for your honest words and sharing your true story. thank you so so so much. you are such an inspiring person and a very lovely artist I just discovered your channel and now insta too because of my youtube algorithm. I am very happy and I wish you sooo much sunshine and love. ♥ you are doing great. you are on your right path. and I am so in love with your characters. they are so lovely.

I am a musician who works full time and makes music by night. I was always too scared to pursue music as a career, as I was pretty sure it just wouldn't be commercially viable for me. But in doing that, I have found that in some ways it's the best of both worlds. I get to work on something I find creatively and existentially fulfilling (music) but it doesn't have to be a make or break, sink or swim source of income, as I support myself in other ways (my boring 9-5). But through that I've been able to pursue really fun little experiments that I don't know if I ever would have let myself dedicate time to if I needed projects to put food on the table. I've made tons of friends through collaborating with other artists on little hobby projects online; there can be a lot of perks to the approach you're taking. And who knows, in the future as things develop and you get your name and work out there more, opportunities may present themselves and perhaps your art can be an additional source of income, enough that you can transition into part-time work, or even leave behind your job all together again. There is certainly a spectrum to existing as an artist online.

Hey, I’m from Brazil and this one is probably my first time commenting on any video, but I just felt the need to say that sharing your journey this way is so courageous and inspiring at the same time! In my country art is really hard to pursue, it’s most commonly seen only as a hobby and nothing professional, probably not so different from other countries I guess.. but I’m still gonna try doing it, cuz experience and the courage to give the first step is something else! I’m rooting for your success 🎉

I felt very touched by your story. Just like you, I was really drawn to art since I was a child- I felt comfort in it, but I always felt I was not for it. Even when I practiced and started a degree, I gave up and sometimes I feel I did it too easily. Your work is wholesome, you should keep trying even if you sometimes feel uncertain. Believe me, I understand you in a deep level and you almost brought me to tears, but you are talented- even if it's hard for you to believe it right now, keep trying. Send your portafolio. I'm sure you'll be able to achive your dream.

thank you very much for sharing your story. i'm currently in the same situation as you did and i think i'm losing it. why is casually doing something for decades and doing it for a few years full time not enough to succeed or even to just make enough from it? ugh! it's already been 7 months since i my lost drive. i have given it my all in the past two years or so, and that's on top of my almost 2 decades of casually doing it, so i felt so betrayed and drained. whenever i try to start again, i can't help but feel it's just gonna lead to nothing again and i get plagued by all sorts of negative thoughts and emotion as you did, making me stop. i hope i find my way back to feeling better again too. and thanks again for sharing. it does make me feel a little better to know that i'm not alone bc i'm literally starting to believe i'm cursed. lol. anyway, i wish you all the best. good luck with you projects! we'll be waiting.

It’s okay I’m kind of in the same boat but barely started up my business. I had good savings to pursue my business but a series of unfortunate events happened to where I couldn’t work on my business enough and then the savings are running dry. Back to a 9-5 grind now. I realized what I did was smart (having good savings before quitting my old job), but in all honesty I couldn’t have foreseen certain things - like a parent getting cancer… As long as you learned skills along the way that helped you grow, it’s going be okay. I finally understand the saying, ‘The experience is the journey’. Hope you realize such now too. And I’m still pursuing my business idea, but yeah on the side now too. Women in business we got this! 💪

Not having a Plan is a big step to failure, Plans are always important, you need to investigate, search for the right decision and apply it step by step, maybe you should considerate looking for a illustrator job? This could work in the meantime you make your comic and you can learn a lot about how's illustration and comic market, yes! Investigate about these 2 markets Ilustration and comic and do it until you accomplish been a great Illustrator and a Great Comic creator! I wish you success and I give you strength to this Marvelous trip called been an Artist! 🌟

As someone who's reaching the crossroads of deciding what I want to do for a career after school, this video is so comforting. I relate so much to your connection with art since I've always been obsessed with stories, illustrations, animations etc. and am now wanting to write and share stories through comics. I always decided as a kid that I wanted to do something creative. Yet now that I'm older and reality seems closer than ever, I'm scared of regretting either doing art or not doing it. It's comforting to watch a video about the hardships that come with art and even more so the mental difficulties. Just the idea of giving up something that I've worked so hard all of these years to maintain and the one dream I've held onto for hope has really made me feel depressed. Your video just makes me feel so understood. Thank you for sharing

in a smimilar situation so was nice to hear this story while making webtoon. Hope you enjoy your day and journey!

Your work and style is absolutely gorgeous! It's just a matter of getting it in front of the right eyeballs, and that unfortunately IS a numbers game with a fair amount of luck as well. Sounds like you're in a much better headspace at this point which is so important, and I do not doubt for a SECOND that you will get the opportunity to share you work with many, many more people. Keep at it, and thanks for sharing your story.

Going through a similar period of anxiety at the moment and trying to fight through it, so I really feel what you are talking about. You have my biggest respect for everything you did and how you're finding your way through. I don't see any failure there at all. I just see someone with a lot of courage to figure out what is acutally working for yourself. And I think this is just the beginning of a great story that you're gonna tell. Just keep on doing what truly makes you happy:)

I know how you feel when you said you come home with little motivation to draw. After a long day at work staring at a computer all day its hard to find that inspiration. A lot of that has to do with the pressure to succeed as well. Have you considered a sidecareer in selling your works at conventions? They're usually on the weekend so it may provide a nice balance.

You didn't fail!! I love your comics they are so cute!!! Really! You should defiently try to do more of them! Don't rush, really! There are plenty of people who enjoyed your stuff. It is possible to make it as a career! All will be great soon!!! I can recommend you Brandon Mcnulty channel with story plotting stuff!!! Really useful info, I watched plenty of stuff of his, seriously its just so helpful! Your character design is nice, I liked how you designed Amber, she is recognizable, especially in that style. I think the problem actuaolly migt be in the format. Webtoon format doesnt look like the best option for those comics of your i saw. BUT BOOK FORMAT, OMG SERIOUSLY!!! Book format would be just so perfect! You put a lot of detail in it, and people simply scroll down as fast as they can to read all that plot. So... what if you try to publish your works in comic book style? Marcos Mateu-Mestre is another awesome author that helped me with the works too! In that book, he shows how to make artistic choices about comic panels. Would love if you continue your craft❤

Your artstyle is absolutely BEAUTIFUL amd your way of editing too, you'll definitely succeed 😊❤ Goodluck!!!

Thank you for sharing your story. Please keep sharing your art journey on KZfaq. Rooting for you!! Definitely don't give up on your dreams! Excited to see how you'll keep creating and growing from here

I wish you all the best going forward. So glad that you are in a happier, more balanced place. Trusting yourself and doing what you want. You've learned a lot from what you went through, that's a win. Looking for validation from others can be a slippery slope. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, that is a fantasy that's unrealistic for most people. I look forward to seeing your comic 💗

This is my first video of yours that I’ve seen - just subscribed. ✨🙂 Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry this happened!

Your art is absolutely gorgeous, down to the perspective to the quiet, comfy way you illustrate things. I resonate greatly with you as I similarly left to pursue children's graphic novel work after art school, but found that environment had burned me out. I did freelancing for a while but it gave me the same anxiety you described, and got a stable job at an art agency thinking I would be better off with stability, but realized doing art for someone else was really hurting me. I recently got part time work at a retail job and started doing art more for me and I am far better emotionally than I have been since I left school eight years ago balancing the two. They say if you love what you do you will never work a day in your life, but in my experience its far better to leave what you love to things you are passionate about and be kind to your creative soul. I really wish you the best of luck with your comic cause I read and really resonate with your first one--its such a shame that editor discouraged you cause it really is quite special. I don't comment this much on things but your journey really got to me haha

This really hit hard as a new grad and also a freelance artist barely making a living. I don't know if i should go all in or find a job that sustain me and secure my financial worries. My one and only parent are old and I'm the only one support my family, I tried to go all in in just 3 weeks but i find myself more worried since i can barely save money. Right now, I'm finding a job just to be sure that if don't get money from my art, I have a job that may support us in everyday life. It's just some jobs here doesn't pay that much and I got more income in art but have this feeling of anxiety of " What I don't get clients this month. I'm just really scared that i might regret everything if i don't make it as artist that can support my family and myself.

Congratulations on finding a path that works better for you! It can be hard to take risks, especially when you tend to get very anxious. But it sounds like you took that experience, have grown from it and are continuing to grow now. I wish you the best!

you have a lovely voice, it was very nice to hear your story while working. I identify with a lot you said, adding the pressure to make an income, specially a first source of income, to art, is so taxing for the process. I don’t think you failed, you tried it and realized it was not for you, and now you have a stable job that gives you a fixed income to be free to explore the art in the way however you want ❤ thank you so much for sharing!

Dear Rini, As a 25yr old, your whole video is so relatable & relevant in my current circumstance! You didn't give up on your dreams as you're still here & have inspired 2.11k+ subs & 15k+ viewers--- other people(imagining that many people gathered in a room is impressive!) along the way who are here with you now to follow you in your creative endeavors. CONGRATS! Keep up the grit---daily, weekly, monthly, yearly---& beyond---a lifetime! From start to end listening to you I could feel & see your soul, character, & self-compassion developing. You are not alone in the life long wrestle with uncertainty as that is exactly the mark of a true artist & you've survived to continue telling your story. Thank you for courageously sharing it as you've given me & countless others further encouragement & personal reassurance in our own creative paths as a fellow artists. It would be cool to work on something with you, maybe a podcast, in the future if possible haha! 😆🙌❤‍🔥🕊✨ Much love, Cheers!

Thank you so much for making this video and sharing your story! I relate to your journey so much and it definitely helps me feel less alone and more understood. I tried to pursue children's illustration back in 2022 by switching my full -time position to part-time (I was very fortunate that my employer let me do that). While working part time, I worked on my children's book portfolio for months after building up my art fundamentals, and I eventually sent it out to publishers and agencies. Unfortunately I didn't hear anything back except for a few rejections and "maybe one day", and I quickly felt the same way you did with the anxiousness and worry about making money, even though I did have some income coming in. I ended up giving up after my first round of submissions instead of reworking my portfolio. I got into visual novel games shortly after sending out my portfolio and became super inspired to create my own, so I've been creating a visual novel game since then. I realize now that creating a video game or graphic novel is much more appealing to me style and themes wise than children's illustration too. I also switched jobs and am working full-time again, and felt so much relief at having the stability of a full-time income. Being able to have balance between work and creating art (for us whose jobs are not art related) is so essential and important! Anyways, sorry for rambling about myself for so long- I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story! I'm so excited to see your new comic and all your future creations!

From an art student, the only thing you left out within art school was that art tuition dept, cause I am currently working a full time job and making art for fun for selling them at conventions. But yeah, there should not be shame in lack of motivation or sales, as people have their own things to go through, and not everything is going to be perfect all the time.

That's one of the most important videos and comment session I've ever seen. Thank you so much for sharing ❤ I hope everything goes well for you, that you be happy, healthy and feel you're not alone 🤗

I saw this video twice. I am in the same boat as you, except that I am a writer. I havent left my job, but I only work part-time. The rest of my time I try to devote to my hobbies and passion but there is always the spectre that something may happen and that I need to find more work. Im not there yet but your story was very inspiring to me and is one of the best videos I have seen on KZfaq. I feel like I have a lot to say. First of all, I think the messages you recieved from your parents got to you. They may have meant well but they are not an illustrator like you. You see the world uniquely and have stories to tell, a light in you that wants to come out. This is very special and needs to be nurtured. Like a seed it needs to grow. And the way you do that is with love. I saw your comics and they are really really good. You have ant style that is just pleasant to look at. I love your character designs and the attention to detail you put in your drawings. I just think that you need some crazy goal like doing 100 comics throughout your life or something like that. For sure then you would be making money. But yeah its a love and like being in love, when separated from it, life is less than life. Your really good, I think you'll be fine.

wow. thank you for this video, ive been drawing some fanart while listening and it hits so closely to home. I think we both went through the exact same process of balancing dreams and reality, supportive partners and mental health balancing! It's so funny when you said you didnt send your portfolio in the end, I was almost talking to the screen like why??? Your talent is there, you sounded like you wanted this, but yeah its the fear, right? I am the same, tons of art being told send it and just something stops you mentally from doing it. Rejection maybe? or you just feel like you're not ready... Thank you for expressing your journey, it has made me step back and actually be okay with mine, I am not doing my dream job, but I have time to balance my dream and live because of it. Keep up the good work lovely, looking forward to what you do next :3

We love success stories. They inspire people to work towards their dreams. But how about the people that didn't succeed? Thank you for sharing your life experience. It inspired me, and I wanna share my life experience to the void of internet too. Maybe I'll also make a video some day. I'm an older dude that gave up my dreams of drawing, and animation because of financial struggles. Now, I'm trying to pursue my dreams again in my own ways. Just knowing I'm not the only one is inspiring in its own way.

I am inspired, you're so brave for sharing this. Thank you for pep talking me into staying in the middle. I also have a tendency to go all out or none at all. Balance is the key

I felt like crying the whole video. Ty for sharing your experience about something many of us go through

I appreciate this video! It’s HARD to step out of your comfort zone and try to be a full-time artist. At least you tried and learned so much from it❤

You never ever gave up on the dream. You let go of the pressure. You are amazing for sharing this and I can relate so much! 🙏 I am always afraid to talk about it, but this helped me to process what happened for me. Thank you!

im gonna listen to this at work tomorrow but I checked out your art. i love your art style, its soft and i can definitely feel a slice of life contemplative tone just from looking at the still characters

what a great honest personal video. when you told the story of a teacher taking you around to show your work to other students i had a broad smile because of a similar experience in early school life - the teacher had me read a story i wrote to the class (and my parents asked me if i had actually written it myself). those kind of memories are just priceless. i really recommend the book 'the artist's way' to help reinforce self-belief and maintaining a sustainable creative practice. always keep going!

I understand you so well! I was in a partly similar situation. I tried to become a storyboard artist (I'm self-taught), I got a couple of test assignments from studios, but I didn't get the job. I started taking small commissions and discovered... that I don't like drawing other people's ideas. I stop loving drawing when money gets involved. I found a job that wasn't too taxing on me emotionally and I'm just working on my art projects in my free time. For myself I realized that I just love to draw. I don't want to make money from this