Stress and Sex - The Impact

Рет қаралды 48,219

4 жыл бұрын

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Thank you to the amazing people who shared their stories in this video
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Lillianna : lilliannanajera
Miriam
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Meya : meyalanise inspiredbymeya
Tianna : the_localista
Dr. Carroll J Brown III, Psy. D
Dr. Kristyl JL Smith, Psy.D
Rachel
Kory-Ann Bremmer
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Song by Jared Brady - Enjoy the Disco out now
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Пікірлер: 124

@jesstv3029 4 жыл бұрын

Shannon is looking like what summer 2020 was supposed to be like. 💐

@sumayzebecreating 4 жыл бұрын

That's a good one! She does 😍

@earthling9891 4 жыл бұрын

I love that that one lady takes care of all of her 5 senses... great approach

@YunggFlipper 4 жыл бұрын

8:38 the distractor 10:50 the dump truck 12:11 the denier 13:37 the intellectualizer 14:32 wallower/empathiser 16:08 the mirror 17:41 the projector 18:50 the compensator

@AbrielDelaney 4 жыл бұрын

People like you should be PAID! I love when people leave these time stamps. Yaaaassss.

@j_lynsation 4 жыл бұрын

UM... I need the full release of Jared's audible promo. THAT? Grade A+ fire.

@ainaramcinerney4857 4 жыл бұрын

Yessss ❤❤❤

@AbrielDelaney 4 жыл бұрын

Okay?! Period.

@shariporter6002 4 жыл бұрын

When I'm stressed or have negative feelings towards something, I focus on it. Like I obsess over finding the solution. I just don't take a break. I always end up exhausting myself over it.

@Moonlight12315 2 жыл бұрын

same

@mahlatser2179 4 жыл бұрын

Just broke up with someone yesterday because of how much stress and anxiety ive been getting lately. And when this happens I pull away from people especially those closest to me. Really trying to learn emotional stability and and emotional maturity in a relationship.

@BreNic17 4 жыл бұрын

I can understand you on this. I'm on the same growth journey. Much love!

@andrea384 4 жыл бұрын

living for this self-evaluation

@UniqueDancerTay 3 жыл бұрын

Wow you took those words straight out of my mouth Sofia 💯 I thought of be the only one (altjough I know many people do this all the time lol). I have some real withdrawal symptoms. But I have realised that emotional stability means a lot and is crucial moving forward. 💯🙏🏾

@asdfghjadiekl 4 жыл бұрын

I be deleting pictures from my phone too when I’m stressed. I’m not alone!!

@Wow-br7tm 4 жыл бұрын

Me toooooo ! It soothes me a lil

@gracechilo345 4 жыл бұрын

My bf and I got into a huge fight once. I deleted all our pictures and everything else. It was embarrassing when he had to send them all back to me.

@GoodLuckNabs 4 жыл бұрын

Yes that’s what I said at the start!

@earthling9891 4 жыл бұрын

I can relate so much to the lady talking about closing up when she is stressed

@adwoadanso8644 4 жыл бұрын

JARED on the AUDIBLE AD 😤😤

@heyimglo 4 жыл бұрын

colour palette on fleek tho 👀

@tshegofatsoleepile7849 4 жыл бұрын

I'm soooooo stressed rn and my baby called me today, I was literally soooooo closed off. I can't help it, I just want to be by myself.

@nataliestewart5250 4 жыл бұрын

Shan: “if you’re with a projector.... good luck” I a projector: “😩😩😩😩😩😭 there’s no hope! 😂

@GoodLuckNabs 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for having me on💖 I love how it turned out and I’m so glad to see a hijabi on a channel like this☺️ Hope this video is helpful to people

@sarahgumball8597 3 жыл бұрын

I loved what you said ! I could relate to what you said in this video so much, I hope you have a blessed rest of your year :)

@GoodLuckNabs 3 жыл бұрын

@@sarahgumball8597 Thanks, same to you sis

@QueenZsWorld 4 жыл бұрын

my coping mechanism that works: when I'm anxious and in a nit-picky mood, I find it's the best time to create art or clean the house. it s a great way to channel that energy, as was mentioned in the video. journalling n being 100% blunt with how I'm feeling about whatever I'm thinking about helps too

@palomapolanco3239 4 жыл бұрын

Hey girly❣️ I love how informational and helpful your content is. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and it would be amazing to see a video on how couples or marriages deal with there partner having mental health disorders. Just an idea, I think it would help out a lot of people.

@nadiaalexandria3175 4 жыл бұрын

Would love to see this!

@MiszCandiiLadii 4 жыл бұрын

This is a good one!

@OyayoTheStorm 4 жыл бұрын

I have autism, so mirror is a Big one. I also distract, and intellectualize. I've dated the projector/dump truck and compensator/denier. My kid is an empathizer and a denier, also with autism. I'm currently single, but the partner selection hasn't changed much. I'm happy to see this, to learn what these are, what can help defuse some of the stress, and when to just remove myself, if it's remaining unhealthy

@papi_manny 4 жыл бұрын

"Stress baby" that song was lit af ❤❤❤❤

@BreannLaFaye 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like I’m all of them! 🤣 During this crazy time, I had to shut down a business, started a new business, ate horribly, went back to eating healthy, did art projects, cleaned and reorganized the house house, cried, screamed and got a new car 😅

@Bunnybananabunny 4 жыл бұрын

Im a mix of a dump truck, an intellectualizer and a wallowe/empathiser. I always need to dump my stress on someone, not by yelling or treating them poorly but just by having someone listen to what I have to say. Then I start analyzing the crap out of it. In the end I start wallowing in my analysis on what went wrong and how it makes me feel terrible, or if another person is involved I worry to death about how they feel and completely ignore my own feelings. Usually ending up in a cycle of analysis and wallowing. Still trying to learn to break that cycle!

@amena_music 4 жыл бұрын

Wow... Now I see why my denier/empathiser self is struggling so much with the Intellectualiser... Thank you! Congrats on the books too 💪🏾💞

@SaintDee26 4 жыл бұрын

I just had thought while watching this. It seems almost like the easiest logical leap for me to think that certain partner pairings might have symbiotic/complementary pairings of toxic coping mechanisms at their core (not in a good way). For example, I'd imagine dump truck and empathizer pairings to be common, especially since they'd be enabling each other, I imagine even empathizers and wallowers would potentially gravitate to each other, distractors and deniers, etc. I'm not sure this is a coherent thought or idea, but yeah, it's a thought I had. I'd definitely consider myself a mixture of an empathizer and intellectualizer.

@andrea384 4 жыл бұрын

yesss I see this!!! this is an underrated, insightful comment

@JayPh5th 4 жыл бұрын

I feel attacked

@ashleytune1598 4 жыл бұрын

Can we talk about how Jared's Audible jingle is gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the week? That was great haha

@victoriagarden2627 4 жыл бұрын

Shan!!!!! The Game of Desire has been a freaking GAME-CHANGER for me!!! You have helped me so much through your videos and the game of desire to become more mindful and take charge of myself as a person and ESPECIALLY to take charge of my sexuality!! You have empowered me, and I just want to thank you!!💜❤💜❤

@jennyneutron6748 4 жыл бұрын

I have been thoroughly enjoying Jared's music clips

@brianne9060 4 жыл бұрын

I am definitely a compensator and distractor! I’ve been baking nonstop since quarantine began. Cookies, cakes, cheesecake, brownies... the list goes on! Now I’ll be turning to home workouts to combat stress and the extra pounds from overindulging!

@kennyray4458 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve learned so much today about positive stress relief

@andrea384 4 жыл бұрын

I genuinely feel like my life is changed for the better after learning about these concepts and finally understanding the words + the solutions to these unhealthy patterns that are considered so normal in everyday life. thank you for this!!! I have missed your psych-related content

@lodz3189 4 жыл бұрын

I learn so much from your videos Shan. You are a gem. This also reminds me of something I just learned from work which is Therapeutic Crisis Intervention where you come up with alternative behaviors to manage stress when someone is at their baseline behaviour.

@pinky.promiseme 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks girl. I needed this! It was very helpful and could not have been posted at a better time lol cuz I was feeling frustrated with life, my kid & partner and not coping well. After watching this I can clearly identify my own coping methods and compare with those of my partner. I can see how differently we handle things and how we could better adjust to understand each other.

@kamicee157 4 жыл бұрын

One of my favorite vids from Shan PERIOD! Learned so much in under half an hour

@andrea384 4 жыл бұрын

yuuuup MHM agreed agreed

@yafavegirljas 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this video and your content in general! I absolutely adore the way you articulate your thoughts! Congrats on your third book 🥳🥳

@BreNic17 4 жыл бұрын

Wow! Video just in time. Working in education, I have been stressed beyond stressed and I'm starting to think that I'm not happy in my relationship. So now I'm trying to focus on what I am doing to make me feel this way.

@shabbyshabster7937 4 жыл бұрын

I would just like to add how much I really enjoy your work and I even bought your book from audible. To me you are successful and I hope you reach all your goals.

@patriceh2656 4 жыл бұрын

How can I find a couples therapist who thinks exactly like Shan?

@andrea384 4 жыл бұрын

LMAOOO ^^^ retweet.... actually tho

@BeingTiffany 4 жыл бұрын

idk if she's doing it anymore but i remember she was offering therapy/ guidance sessions a while ago

@JimenaSerena 4 жыл бұрын

I want to clean and get rid of a lot. I clean my room get rid of clothes and makeup, delete all my messages, pictures, deactivate social media.

@emd670 4 жыл бұрын

When I get stressed I’m definitely an empathiser which is why it’s important for me to have a partner who allows me time to think through my stress and has a conversation with me when I’m ready, most likely if I need it I’ll come speak to you I just need a safe space and a way of feeling like I’m not bothering others with my stresses. In general to calm stress I normally like to be alone so I can write it down I also use poetry and painting to express if I need to. I’m definitely someone who needs space to work through my problems by myself and then go to someone else if necessary. I don’t know if that’s unhealthy but I am learning to talk to others more, I just never want to suffocate others with my issues 🤍

@1cocobeware 3 жыл бұрын

I feel like this was the 8 catabolic layers of me Damn. You are always inspiring thought and reflection. Thank you!!

@MissRedheadRapunzel 4 жыл бұрын

So glad to hear about your new book, I loved the game of desire ^_^ keen to give it a read, just make sure it’s not only at Amazon so I can order it from my book store in Australia

@laurenjackson2810 4 жыл бұрын

This is hands down one of your best videos

@NeoYorquina4U 4 жыл бұрын

I’m definitely an empathizer and mirror (introvert who worries about judgement). Great video Shan!

@Naniso 4 жыл бұрын

I talk to my closed ones about the stress but I mainly distress by working out, walking in the woods, listening to uplifting music, and podcasts. distress = crave for alone uninterrupted times.

@jojoirish8523 4 жыл бұрын

I really thought there was gonna be a quiz attached to this. 😭😭🥺🥺 ALSO CONGRATS ON YOUR THIRD BOOK! I LOVED YOUR SECOND ONE SOOOOOOO MUCH!!

@nidiraa7462 3 жыл бұрын

OMG Shan I'm so many of these: intellectualizer, compensator, and a distractor.

@sarahanderson7118 4 жыл бұрын

This is such an eye opener 😱 so when I’m stressed out i need comfort food, and when I’m stressed out I’m highly upset at and I put myself in silent mode and when someone talks to me I get irritated and the vibes that person got from me is not good . What do I fall under?

@PrettyEnigma7 4 жыл бұрын

Same here

@greg_thefemale 3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a distractor projector combo.

@QueenZsWorld 4 жыл бұрын

I needed this, not for a partner but myself. #selfpartnered

@drudowd8960 3 жыл бұрын

I watched this at such a great time! I thought I was so fucked up, but maybe I’m just a dump truck who needs to write down shit before I burst :)))

@whisperywind8768 4 жыл бұрын

Shan please include the 8 archetypes in the description box, or pin as a comment? Would love to keep coming back to this Like if you agree so that she can see it

@jennTwaambo 4 жыл бұрын

Yup. I have zero sex drive. Yup. That is I. Partner is the opposite.. We are on rocky ground at the moment. So this video is right on time.

@dianalovesuxoxo 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Shan!!✨

@charlottemclean6130 4 жыл бұрын

I learnt a lot about stress (and particularly how it interacts with sex) from Emily Nagoski’s books “Burnout” and “Come As You Are”

@dellar.6082 4 жыл бұрын

2:58 when your boyfriend is a rapper, LOL. Love you Shan! 😂❤️

@lmsmeco4829 4 жыл бұрын

Great video! So helpful! Thanks Sistah!

@whisperywind8768 4 жыл бұрын

That Audible plug was soooooo smooth!

@kiaraerikah8749 4 жыл бұрын

Whenever i’m stressed about a due date of a project or test, I literally lie to myself and say the due date is later than it is for comfort. I LIE TO MYSELF LOL. I am a top tier denier

@savannahriel178 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this video ❤️

@ninaxox4393 4 жыл бұрын

Yass Shan. That freestyle! 🔥🔥🥰🥰

@moroeni 3 жыл бұрын

I am so the distractor X.x I feel like it's becoming a problem because I'm neglecting certain responsabilities because of it. 😥

@PrettyEnigma7 4 жыл бұрын

I do a few in stages. In my romantic relationship, I tend to be a distractor until I calm down. After, I turn into a wallower/empathizer then intellectualizer; desperately trying to find solutions but when all fails I become a mirrorer. I notice that’s how I will fluctuate through these stages especially during arguments when I feel like he is not listening. When my family points out his toxic traits, I am a denier and shut down. 🥴

@sincoty 4 жыл бұрын

First comment yay... loving your audiobook sis.

@pritchettee2905 3 жыл бұрын

Very informative!

@ladyfightsoctopus8166 4 жыл бұрын

The freestyle 😭😭 Thats how i react

@Kidnappedfaerie 4 жыл бұрын

I usually skip past ads but that audible song is a bop

@mariabarbosa2479 4 жыл бұрын

When I'm stressed out I work all day 7am-11pm . I make sure I don't leave any time for bullshit

@Jules_Thee_Artist 4 жыл бұрын

I'm a intellectualiser to a T. I look at stress like an exam or something where all the problems have facts that could lead to a solution. And honestly to disregard my emotions or even emotions of other coz I want everyone to think logically about what's happening.

@OyayoTheStorm 4 жыл бұрын

I Have that book! I got the paperback months ago, but haven't read it. I'm avoiding getting Audible (don't judge me) because I'd hate to get it and not use it. I totally need to do better with reading

@MiVidaBellisima 4 жыл бұрын

Ouch... that moment I realize I’m trash bc I’m the dump truck 🥴 lol but in all seriousness I’m grateful for this video. I have a goal on what to work on now 😊❤️✨ What are some ways the dump truck can be a recycle truck?

@andrea384 4 жыл бұрын

as an empathizer, esp when I was younger I attracted/enabled a lot of dump truck behaviour, so as someone on the receiving end I have a few suggestions for you or fellow dump truckers lol. I feel like even the fact that you can say it with your chest is huge, and shows that you will be more considerate of other people's emotional space + mental capacity moving forward.. maybe like, if you have someone you usually share with - asking first? for ex "hey, let me know when is a good time to talk because I have some things to share with you" etc. And then after you have expressed yourself/feel better, buy them some take out or spend some time listening to them to make sure its an equal exchange of energy. And even further I feel like my "venting" type friends could benefit from journalling, or recording a voice note of yourself "dumping" etc so that they can take care of their own emotions sometimes instead of turning to release them on someone else. for the most part, people who love and care about you want to hear about the stresses/emotions you have piling up in your truck because we CARE about you, so don't feel bad

@williammcalpine2718 3 жыл бұрын

I’m definitely an wallower and distractor at times

@WoopdiFrickenDoo 3 жыл бұрын

love love love your eye shadow

@WoopdiFrickenDoo 3 жыл бұрын

can I be all 8?

@pokutelover 4 жыл бұрын

Discuss attraction in long term relationships please!!

@jeniwatkins3297 4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@pokutelover 4 жыл бұрын

I struggle with feeling attracted to my partner. We’ve been together for 3 year. He’s gained weight and we’ve been through a lot of bs that’s doesn’t help me feel more attracted to him like we were in the beginning. Tips would really help😌

@jazzychick587 4 жыл бұрын

I just love your work chic #trinilove 🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹❤️

@shann74 4 жыл бұрын

Uhhh I gotta work on myself

@Tazziii 4 жыл бұрын

How am I all of these 🙄 is that a good or bad thing?

@PinkAbigail 3 жыл бұрын

I like to shop 😂🤣I like to buy things of ASOS get that stuff next day!!🤦🏾‍♀️😂I’m not a food or drinking person!

@marthastinson8506 3 жыл бұрын

I utilize sex / masturbation for stress relievers, also murder mystery podcasts , docs etc.... Cooking as well

@Bunnybananabunny 4 жыл бұрын

That feeling when you realize your partner is a compensator and the house is always clean because of it😅

@IM-NOTHIM 4 жыл бұрын

It's been a while since I been here

@lexiSiexl592 4 жыл бұрын

Did anyone else realize they are/could be considered to be multiple types of stress? Is that connected to multiple types of depression?

@sevendagod777 4 жыл бұрын

Ok Shan! #bars

@natashiawoolaston2837 4 жыл бұрын

who am i the gyal dem sugar lmaoooo. .. love you shan

@Hazeleyez88 4 жыл бұрын

I relate

@laurengonsalves8527 4 жыл бұрын

Looking beautiful Shannon

@sarahgumball8597 3 жыл бұрын

My distractor is shopping. I could buy something every single day it’s terrible

@mommslooney1731 4 жыл бұрын

... I don't know which one I am. Maybe my huge primary is just getting distracted???

@sumayzebecreating 4 жыл бұрын

I think I tend to do ALL of these in small ways... Is THAT normal?

@eyanaeproductions9822 4 жыл бұрын

Where is that mailing list I need that info we needs to talk!!! Lol

@papi_manny 4 жыл бұрын

Yessss a Sapiosexual shoutout ☺☺☺

@jeniwatkins3297 4 жыл бұрын

Word ✌

@themeadefamily1743 4 жыл бұрын

i belive i am the dump track the deiner and the distracker, my body just feel tdrain mentally and emotional when me and my whatevership partner aruge and i would turn to drinks or food) when i am stress from dealing with my kids i have my mommy burnt out moment when i need a hours to reset my mind.

@niar3214 4 жыл бұрын

I’m a wallflower / empthazier . My partner is a mirror but I think their real one they have is a dump truck. But they are a mirror (who really is a dump truck...)

@niar3214 4 жыл бұрын

I’m an empthazier and then a distracted second. I think if things get really bad I’m a projector but I’m not confrontional enough to project. I would have to be like terribly stressed or hurt