It’s easy to feel alone when the obstacles you face are so huge, but you’re not. The Strong Towns movement is made of thousands of people across North America, and they’re all working toward the same goal: safer, stronger, happier cities. Join the movement and gain the tools you need to turn your isolating town into a vibrant community! Become a member today: www.strongtowns.org/membership

An old quote about community that stuck with me goes something like "There are two types of safety. The first is what's the likelihood you would get shot with an arrow. The second is, if you do get shot, how intensely will people care for you?"

That older gentlemen sounded like he had a blast as a kid. Young folks deserve that freedom. It allows them to grow into beautiful vibrant adults.

Social scientist here! You all did a great job of explaining the phenomenon. My field often ignores the structural/built environment, which is frustrating. Allow me to add a bit to the video's content. The correlations between social isolation and early death, health problems, and other phenomena are mediated mainly by how individuals behave due to loneliness. The most common loneliness responses are alcoholism and poly-drug abuse, reductions in personal hygiene and exercise, etc. The reaction from my field is often to encourage INDIVIDUALS to "be more social," "go outside and get some exercise," or "join a club." Easy for us to say. Without support/encouragement from the built environment, walkable neighborhoods, and access to appealing public places outside the home, these suggestions will almost always be ignored. Public planning is a public health issue and should always be factored into our research and clinical work as social scientists. I look forward to the day when research in social psychology, for example, controls not only for factors like race or gender, but zoning style too.

The remark about infrastructure not being designed for aging residents struck a chord for me. For the past ten years I've been a full time caregiver for my parents in Texas after they both suffered from strokes. Both became wheelchair bound. Life in the suburbs went from being able to roam around the city in their car to basically being locked up at home. The suburbs went from being an idyllic access point to highways to a prison for them.

In many suburban neighborhoods, even just hanging out in your front yard invites suspicion. There's no sense of community, no trust, no where to be outside your home or car.

I live in a relatively small town (currently undergoing double-digit growth). 17 years ago, one of our people decided to open a coffee shop. A year ago he announced he was going to close it. We realized that it was the centre of our community. So we formed a co-op, raised money in the community, and bought it. It's not exactly the same as it was, but it still centres our community. And the youth working there a liable to burst into song at the drop of a hat. As my partner says; "Can't be a bad place to work if you're singing."

I came to the realization some time ago is your likelihood of surviving the zombie apocalypse is not ow many barrels of food you hoarded in your basement, but how likely your neighbors are to look out for your well-being. Eventually your barrels of food will run out, but its human's capacity to strategize and divvy up labor that got us to where we are today. (For example, watch one episode of "Naked and Afraid" and tell me how well two people can survive out on their own. Hint: It's not indefinitely).

From Martinsburg WV here: After lobbying my City Hall for 4 years, we are finally getting a network of bike racks installed downtown. Why this took so much time and effort for something so basic is beyond me, but better late than never.

The amount of momentum this topic has on youtube is making me really optimistic.

One of the urbanists I follow brought up an interesting point in how, when people first moved to the suburbs, they often brought their "urban culture" with them. But that, with each generation of people raised in a suburb, that culture dies out. Which I think is really true, and something I myself have noticed - both in the stories my dad tells about growing up, and the way people from small towns moving into nearby suburb for the jobs carry that urban (small town) culture with them too

"Welcome to America, please always be customer."

When I was a kid, I saw so many people talking about the importance of "disconnecting" to spend time with people. But as an adult now, being "disconnected" is exactly equal to being unable to spend time with people. Nearly everyone I care about is physically separated from me. There's a small number of people within walking distance but I have no reason to expect any kinds of shared interest, so that predisposes me against trying to make friends that way.

*ITS NOT TECHNOLOGY* its the built environment, culture and wealth inequality...!!! Here in Bulgaria we DONT ahve a loneliness epidemic and we have the SAME technology as the west - but we have 15 minute walkable cities, busy high streets, a very flat society for wealth and a great regard for society and especially children - Im British and the effort Bulgarians put into children as a society is ASTONISHING.

I'm a young adult, aware of this information and doing everything in my power to escape the pathetic suburbs, we need to rebuild our inner cities.

I moved to a city to get away from the social alienation of suburbia

I lived most of my childhood outside of the US; when I finally permanently came back, I always felt something was off. I did not settle well into the SoCall life of suburbs and freeways. As an adult when I returned to Europe for work or trips, I immediately noticed how much more communal people are and felt a lot better being there. I currently live in Barcelona and love it here because access to public spaces is so easy and comfortable. Parks with tons of children playing together, cafes to share a drink, and all sorts of events, you name it. Most big events are free and gather thousands of people who you can share the experience with. It's been amazing living here.

This was such a great deep dive into this topic Mike! Glad and humbled to be able to take a part. Lets keep chipping away at making our towns stronger 💪🏻💪🏻

the reminds me when i was about 12 i think in 1994 getting into skateboarding i lived in development in south new jersey we didnt have any curbs on our sidewalks so noting to grind we'd go up to the 1 local library to skate because it had curbs and islands and teens started hanging out and skating there and socializing it was cool it lasted maybe a month and the cops started showing up and forcing us to leave and they werent very nice about it either because they were concerned someone could get hurt, give us a place to go we said they said why cant you do something else, like seriously wtf

I've been saying this for like 15 years. The strip mall suburbs are the most isolating places we've ever built. The early cul de sacs had some semblance of community because the GIs remembered what it was like to live in streetcar suburbs and small walkable towns. They maintained that sense of community for as long as possible, but Boomers gradually let go of that over the years. Giving way to their selfish desire for solitude and silence. Gen Xers exacerbated this by raising their kids entirely in their home. They were a very tribal generation. Millennials and Zoomers are the ones who are suffering for this loss the most. Millennials grew up isolated in their young adult years. Zoomers have only known this and are starting to question it.

Currently in Vietnam, watching this, and now thinking of the enormous number third places here. Lots of small restaurants everywhere, kids playing badminton on the smaller alleys with lower traffic volumes, and so on. It is total chaos everywhere, but maybe that's the problem, too much regulations. Sure, too little isn't good either, but I think lawmakers think they need to create new laws and regulations, be otherwise they aren't doing their job

Fantastic video on an important topic. Mike. A real honor to be a part of this project and to provide context from my side of the pond. In a world more connected than ever, it often feels more isolated than ever before. ❤️ Great communities are often built on good connections just as much as good infrastructure.

To me, your most important point is the one you made at the end. The first step to improve your community is to be a part of it. Even if thats something as simple as being a regular at your local cafe.

I honestly do not understand why any adult would think that teenager wants structured regimented activity, I think it’s safe to assume that we were all teenagers at one point.

This is so important to our health and general well-being. When I was a child, we always played outside - no "playdates" we just went outside and played with whoever was there. Now I almost never see children outside. One of our local neighborhoods had park-like area where mothers would bring their children that was in front of a restaurant - it was always alive with life. Then the property was sold and the new owners were offended by all those people hanging out on "their property." They took out the lawn and the benches. They filled in the space with rock and large plants. Pretty to look at, but now there is no place in that area to gather unless you want to sit at the nearby coffee house - no place for children to just run and play.

I had an interesting experience just this evening with the concept of which your channel refers. For context, I am stationed in upstate New York with the Navy. I moved here from a suburbanized town where I was previously stationed in Washington state. The town I moved to is very old, established 1792, and is quite small. About 2000 people. I have somewhat long commute to work and a generally tiring job, so I don't get out much. But this evening, I decided to walk around my little hamlet for the first time since moving here almost a year ago. I realized so much more detail than had I drove through, so many more secret trails and beautiful sights and sounds that I would have never noticed at 30 mph. I realized how much driving just sucks the small experiences out of living. It robs you of the little journeys you make every day, whether that be going to the store or visiting the park.

Third places or just chatting with strangers in public are becoming so rare that young people now look at the classic Hollywood meet-cute as a theatrical contrivance rather than how things used to be and people genuinely met.

When i visit America to see my in-laws the thing i noticed is you dont have pubs . Id stop people in the gardens and be like wheres to local mate . Where do you all go to drink and hang out.? They dont . They dont have local pubs . Its really sad.

Excellent video! Children don't have a real childhood anymore. Teaching that we need each other is more important now than ever. Get up and advocate! advocate! advocate! for your town .The US desperately needs it.

"When a car means autonomy, not having one means you're a burden." That's it! I pay more for replacement wheelchair parts due to lack of ada compliant sidewalks and curb ramps, than I spend on rent. And for 2 years can't get my federally subsidized landlord to fix the electricity that powers my wheelchair, but can't move bcuz affordable housing zoning is repeatedly denied while single family zoning is always approved 😔

I had five siblings growing up and to play with friends our parents literally had to drive us to their houses, so none of us really had many friends and didn't often do things with people outside our family outside of school until we were grown and could actually drive. I hate when boomers blame social media for this kind of stuff, it's currently a way people are getting out of our loneliness created by a lack of other options.

Vancouver waterfront is a third place, but its also a place that NIMBYs have fought tooth and nail to keep as a linear park and prevent any type of cafe or store from opening. In Montreal we have tons of third places, but it still feels like every moment outside of ones home is a moment where companies are trying to extract money from us.

I live in the Midwest, so we are fortunate enough to still have some third spaces in the area where I live, but one thing I did remember was there was a time where teenagers who found third places were always being harassed and run out of those spaces by adults who insisted they either go somewhere else, or stay indoors. This still happens, I think. Perhaps a lot of young people have either given up finding third spaces outdoors, or simply made those extra spaces they hang out in, someone else's home.

For me as a non American my favorite thing about accessible third places is the freedom to go with the flow. When my family moved to the US for a few years when I was a preteen, it struck me that going to third places always had to be planned in advance, so my parents could drive me or that someone could take me and my friends and accompany us. Here, you can just lock your apartment and go explore.. encounter people and friends and just enjoy your time.

The suburbs did this. Forcing everyone to use a car for every trip creates isolation. I live in the city because I like interacting with people outside of a car. I use social media to plan real life meetups, not instead of. People who have to insert a car trip before every single interaction are at a serious disadvantage.

8:22 i noticed my loss of independence when we moved to the US but it became more apparent after we left NY to South Carolina and i wasnt allowed to go anywhere by myself but in my dangerous 3rd world home country it was never an issue. Not to say back home urbanism is just way better we're probably miles behind in infrastructure alone but the fact that we went from knowing who our neighbors were in a less pleasant looking neighborhood to not knowing who was next door in our nice historic district neighborhood is the only difference i can think of and the US laws that would get parents in trouble for letting their kids go anywhere by themselves

Im so happy people are talking about this. Ever since high school ive known the way we live was a source of massive depression in myself and when I went to go live in a community of buddhist monks in a forest I knew right away that the way those monks were living was much closer to how humanity should be living. It was the best time of my life.

I moved to the USA from another country and initially found driving interesting and sometimes quite empowering. That very quickly went away once it became a requirement and I moved to an older city where the car infrastructure had destroyed what was once quite functional. I'm now leaving the USA as I haven't found myself happy with how isolating everything is. One thing I've come to realize is road rage is very real, but I've never experienced any equivalent while out walking

Caring for each other is seen as weak. Thats the problem

I was just talking to my parents about this a few days ago. My generation is so isolated from everything, that it feels impossible to meet new people or get to know your community. I'm almost 30, and remember the first neighborhood I grew up in; an older 1940s suburb close to the city. We were able to walk around to get to the park/school, restaurants, friends' houses, etc, and there were a ton of community events. Block parties, gardening days, kids birthday parties right out on the median of the street. That changed when we moved to a larger house when I was 10 that was built in the 1970s. That was 19 years ago and I still don't know the names of a single neighbor in my parent's neighborhood. Nobody talks to anyone else.

Another challenge is that cities don't make places you can sit down in public anymore, because they will attract all the homeless people. And making houses for homeless is clearly forbidden by the laws of physics, so we can't have working park benches. Those are the rules.

I also used to live in Germany and was amazed the first time I saw a playground next to a BierGarten. It was a real eye opener to me of how different things could be. I would also add: Biergartens don't have ID checks, or fencing, or bouncers, or fenced off alcohol areas VS alcohol-free areas like we do in North America. People were trusted to mix and match, drink responsibly, and enjoy the space with their whole families.

Great Video! It makes me appreciate my city, San Francisco so much! I'm a pretty extreme introvert, but I know a fair number of my neighbors, greet them when I see them around the neighborhood, I know the family who runs my bodega, I join in to our motorcycle meetups, and a couple times per year there is some kind of street fair or event happening right outside my front door. Some people like the isolation of the suburbs, but we are seeing such a generational shift away from that preference that we need to rage against the forces that say, "no, we can't make the changes to meet the demand because of the preferences of the privileged few." Contrast this to the town I grew up in, where my mom still lives. All the young people in my cohort are grown up and moved away (because none of us could afford to buy homes where we were raised). My mom was looking for a local kid to water her garden and feed her cats while she was on a trip, and there are almost no kids there any more. It's full of our aging parents with very little turnover. There are certainly Nimby's crying about the character of the neighborhood (they will always find something to complain about), and I want to tell them, the character of their neighborhood grew up and moved away because they fought tooth and nail against every change that would have kept us around. They opposed several apartment developments near the commercial center of town, opponents said they wanted to "keep the riff raff out." Well, that "riff raff" is largely their own kids... that's who these people are.

One other recommendation I would add is to acknowledge the presence of your neighbors. Make eye contact and nod or say hello. It does more than you think, it could brighten up someone's day. It also helps you be aware of your surroundings.

*AS A BRIT LIVING IN BULGARIA* I can't believe how infantilised kids in the UK and the U5A are compared with here. Just last night, when I was taking my dog to the toilet before bed, two of the girls in the apartment block were off out clubbing - they are 17. They are ADULTS here. 7 year olds walk their 4 year old siblings to school on a morning. Stuff kids are expected to de here as part of learning responsibility would be parental neglect in the UK

This is a very low vibration investigation of this problem which is very encouraging to see, its resonating on that level. It’s simpler than you’d think. Have children, live with grandparents, build a three generation household, leave the door open for neighbors, sacrifice for your neighbor. This video nails it on the head. The architecture city planning of the boomer generation destroyed community.

So happy you touched on the topic of Universal Design. As a disabled person (congenital muscle illness), I see a huge loneliness epidemic coming in, simply because the baby boomers are slowly, but surely, losing their ability to drive and have to rely on mobility aids to get around. We need to start adapting our environments right now, or we are too late.

I grew up in a small town which required a car to go anywhere but we had a huge family and church family. I didn't have kids to play with after school other than my sibling but we had acres of land and woods and the freedom to explore for hours. My parents worked, tended the land and gardens, and church. That was it in the 80s. Now I'm in PDX and we bike everywhere and we meet friends constantly at a multitude of third places. PDX is a third place itself. ❤

In my LA suburb of Torrance, every neighborhood has a decent sized park. These parks are usually segregated by activity zones, like the baseball diamond or the kid's playground, etc, with a walking path that encompasses the park. I'm always struck by all the empty, unused space in these parks. I've been fantasizing about finding a way to relax zoning laws so that a portion of these parks can host small coffee houses or cafes. I've seen that done like in the town where I grew up, in Huntington Beach's Central Park you can find the Park Bench cafe. My subdivision has approximately 1000 single family homes with no hub other than the park which stands empty 80% of the time. I'd love to see it become an all-ages "third place." It seems to me that this could be a good way of bringing some life to sprawling suburbs like mine.

Social isolation drives a lot of the anger in this country, further making it hard to relate to other people. Its a downward spiral we need to fix fast. Great video!

When I was in Vienna for work it was awesome. I would regularly go to a bar or park by the river or canal. This is actually something Rick Steves is trying to get done in his home town of Edmunds.

The medium size Ohio town I live in (about 50,000 people) is thankfully trending more towards having gathering places like this. In the past 15 years I have been here we have: - Reconfigured the downtown courthouse square to be pedestrian friendly by reducing car lanes and parking to add roundabouts and large sidewalks which has led to a downtown boom (there was initially a lot of public backlash but people seem over it at this point) - Built a new outdoor pavilion that hosts farmers markets, concerts, and other events which is connected by walkway to the revamped square - Rezoned to allow the downtown mid 1800's buildings to be remodeled into loft apartments - Rezoned a 100 year old abandoned industrial area to allow a developer to convert it to mixed use apartments/entertainment/restaurant - Allowed open outdoor seating for bars/restaurants downtown - Designated outdoor area downtown where public drinking is allowed (it is illegal most places in the USA to have an open container in public) - Constructed multiple free to use disc golf courses (I don't personally play but I think it is nice to have the option!) - Built a new skateboard park - Rebuilt the bmx bike park (although the regulars don't like the new one as much as the original) - Restarted fixed bus routes for the first time in 20 years - Possible future Amtrak stop - Sidewalk/bike path expansion to connect the college campus to the high school is finally to be constructed this year. They are less than 2 miles (3km) away from each other but there has been no safe non-car way to travel between them since they were built 60 years ago! (there is a program for advanced students take college courses there during high school) There are some downsides still but hopefully we can correct: - Public officials removed a long standing gazebo from the courthouse square siting "safety concerns" despite major public backlash. They used the space to expand the parking for the police cruisers and transports at the courthouse :-( There have been a couple of grassroots movements to bring it back but officials are turning a deaf ear. - A few landowners are stalling expansion of our quite nice for the USA bike path network. Officials want to connect the vocational school on the outskirts of town to the bike network as well as connect three major bike trails together. It could be glorious and be able to be used as daily transportation to employers and grocery stores if not for these few. Expanding the trail network would solve the automobile ownership problem, especially for teenagers. It's only about 6 miles (9km) total but it's stalled in perpetuity thanks to a handful of selfish landowners. - Technically illegal to use the bike path at night although it is not enforced - Most streets constructed from the 1940's-1960's are missing or have patchy sidewalks because that generation did not install them there in the first place

One of America's most successful street car services was a loss leader built by a real estate developer. He built the street cars to connect people to his house and attract people to his neighborhoods. He didn't profit on the street car he profited off the homes. That tells us there is external value in connecting people.

The coolest thing happened Haut 2 weeks ago. I was walking my baby in the stroller and a woman came up to me, asking about his name and so on. She told me about her kids (she was roughly 10-20 years older). We just walked for 15 minutes and talked about nature and the town. Never met her before I I'm so glad I live in Germany. I never really thought about the freedom I had as a kid. We had so many forests, a lake, playgrounds and soccer fields. I lived on one end of the town. Meeting up with friends I called up everyone or I just walked to places I knew friends would be at. Even if my friend who lived at the other side of the town had time, I got on my bike and drove there. Through traffic. Or I walked there for roughly 20 minutes. I liked the walks. Meeting people like the local baker or the really small trading cards & miniature shop owner. One would meet people doing gardening or shoveling snow. My parents trusted me. I always left a note where am at and when I would be home (if it was prior to the 6pm deadline). Nowadays it's even better. On one side of the lake they've built a huge playground next to an area with big outdoor tables and seats. You can get a coffee if you want or go to the other side of the lake and just sit down on the grass and eat your bring your own food. Read books, drive bikes, invite friends. It's crazy how awesome that is. And it's only one part of the town. There is the local market which has a pharmacy and doctor nearby. You always meet old friends after work. On the other hand I can simply walk 200m and I'm out on the fields. Many ways that spread to forests the lake and nearby towns. You always meet people. Kids do ring our doorbell and tell us if our cat has a tick. It's a rather mundane information but we are always happy they look out for the cat.

I think you hit it right at the beginning. We pull back because we don’t trust each other. As a culture and society, we have moved so far in the direction of let others be, of no judgement. But standards are inherently linked to judgement, you cannot have standards without judging if other people have met them. As a result, our societal standards for others (and ourselves) in public have been entirely eroded, creating a situation where we don’t even *want* to interact with most strangers

I’m away from my home on an extended trip but once I get back, time to roll up my sleeves and get to work. We currently have a big crossroads cutting my town in fourths, and one of those arms separates the primary school from the main park of the town, and the main crossroad (which includes a four lane highway that they plan on adding another lane to!) cuts off the middle and high school from the rest of the town. Because I live in a tiny town of 5,000 I think it’s entirely possible to have a good community conversation and coming together to build a better place together. And it’ll take some one like me to make the first step towards making that happen!

This video is beautiful dude. The fact that you brought in so many people and their own interpretations of community elevates this so much.

An excellent example of a social third place has to be the Riverwalk in Chattanooga TN. What was once a highway with a foundry on the side is now a walkable stretch alongside the TN River that often hosts cheap or free events like concerts and holiday celebrations.

The Starbucks by us is pickup only. It never really had anywhere to sit. There were a few small tables, but now you can't sit there at all. There are other coffee shops, however, in the same area that do encourage hanging out. I don't drink coffee (or tea) so I don't frequent those places, but I will sometimes go with a coffee drinker and get a pastry or sandwich.

I'm getting to be an old man who has been alone for over 30 years. I'm really not trying to sound negative on purpose, but being alone in this day and age definitely has its advantages. Every time I start to feel lonely, I look at others who are not alone, and I immediately notice how lonely they are. Robin Williams was correct; being alone isn't nearly as bad as being around those who make you feel alone.

I have found that joining activist groups for 🍉 has provided a lot of what you touched on in this video. Anecdotally too i have found that many others who have felt lost and alone the last few years now have a sense of purpose and community. Highly recommend joining an organization or advocacy group of some sort!

Bad news for people in your 20s complaining about loneliness... it only gets worse from there

I really like the ending of this video, where you put the onus on us as the viewer to actually DO something if we’re unhappy with the way things are going, and you give us clear suggestions about what to do. Thank you, Strong Towns

1:30 honestly I think the social media addiction is more a symptom of our isolating society than a cause. It's the most convenient and often times only means of having some form of connection with other people, even if it shallow and distant and dysfunctional.

A year ago I moved to a walkable area, some of the most enjoyable novelties for us have been walking to local markets and community events.

Coffee is expensive now yo. Kids don't have 15min of minimum wage in cash to spend on these places ($5/$20). We need to create more parks and tax free or poorly used land more to pay for it.

Third places are vanishing because it's stupid expensive to have a community center in an area of prime real estate. That third space in a downtown hub area will need to be a heavy money maker. A land lord would rather have a Starbucks over a computer Lounge gears towards high schoolers. In my city, high schoolers are shoved out of the gentrifying downtown.

I have some family that lives in a somewhat small-ish town in Meixco that is very walkable if one wanted too. My younger cousins could go out and play and visit friends without worry. When one of those younger cousins of mine visited us in the US, they eneded up not liking it much and hindsight, I am pretty sure it's because there's less freedom when everything is far apart and you need to depend on a car to get anywhere interesting.

Ever since I moved into a town that wasn't as spread out as the rural areas I previously lived in, the weird suburbs surrounded by nothing but gas stations and a Freds, I've made so many GOOD friends, close friends, it makes me incredibly happy. If I was still in complete suburbia? Didn't go out anywhere or speak to the occassional stranger? I would be just as isolated as I used to be.

While physical seperation is very important, we should never understate the impact of phones and computers (easy access to the internet at any time). When I was about 12 I moved to a condo complex and this put me within 150 feet of lots of kids. I was in, what I would call now, a walkable neighborhood. We played all the time almost everyday, however that all changed when people got phones. Everyone who got a phone would stop coming out very often. If you really put effort in, they would, but it took a lot of effort. ONe by one people got phones and stopped hanging out. This was in a walkable neighborhood. Even with your friends only 100 feet away, it became easier to just be on your phone inside. I was no exception. It is important to build walkable places. I never would have been able to play outside everyday with my friends without that walkable complex. However, we can never under sell how addictive phones are and how much they make every other activity in life less likely because the phone is the path of least resistance.

I'm 34, grew up in a typical suburb, and I think I was lucky because I was always around lots of kids my age. The subdivision we lived in was newly built when we moved in and was built around 2 schools, so nearly everyone who moved there had kids. We would play outside all day, unsupervised, from the time I was like 5. I started walking to school by myself when I was 6 or 7. These days, I feel like if I saw a 6-year old just wandering around on their own, "should I call the cops or something?" would enter my head.

I live in the downtown of Courtenay, BC. I cannot move to a "more walkable city" because North America is in a housing crisis, meaning if I was to try to move, the only result of that would be homelessness.

*I LIVE ALONE IN A COMMI BLOCK IN BULGARIA* I could never go back to the UK as I would be SO LONELY...!!! Im part of a community here, I know every one of my neighbours, I play with the kids - cos thats a NORMAL thing adults do the west has made weird - I know every shop keeper cos we have busy high streets full of shops, the teenagers are part of society not stuck in their bedrooms getting anxious.

I like the channel Radical Planning's video on third places.

My third place is my sailing club. It's volunteer run and has a low monthly cost. I go there almost every weekend.

The biergartens of southern Wisconsin blew my mind when I first went to one (as someone from Europe) and exactly what the US needs more of. Beer, food, playgrounds, community, not to mention being near or in large state parks are exactly what a third place should be. The only downside to them is that they still typically require a car to get to, but they're amazing just the same.

I noticed a bit of the social capital when I lived in a dense suburb (Mountain View, California) with houses tightly bunched together. I'm a car enthusiast who likes to do my own maintenance, washing, and detailing. Being in my driveway gave me a lot of opportunities to say hi to my neighbors who might pop out for small tasks, and wave hi to families walking past my house to the park next door. I felt a bit more integrated with the community. I have since moved to a very dense neighborhood in San Francisco. There's a bit of anonymity since neighbors don't talk to each other much (besides one in my small building). But there's a lot more people on social meetup apps and lots of places to do activities. I have a feeling there's also a lot more community organizations to join around SF, so I can meet people while feeding the homeless or just playing board games when I'm ready to join.

Spain has so many open spaces - in between streets where there are benches, shady spots. I hope everyone reading gets a chance to go to Barcelona at least once.

I feel fucking robbed. I'm 17 and I know this comment doesn't really contribute anything to the conversation, but still I feel robbed of my childhood. I was visiting a friend who also loved by my other friend, so it was like my little group 2 or so states away, got on a metro line and caught a concert in Reston after eating, didn't even know about the outdoor venue. Closed off street from cars, huge outdoor area, very urban neighborhood. That was THE BEST social experience OF MY LIFE! I just wish I had that shit growing up instead of from 1 freaking trip. Also I'm aware Reston VA is still a huge suburb, we were just in the 1 area around the metro station that was very urban, so a TOD. So again, I feel robbed and it makes a bit more sense now why I always felt I was missing something and so isolated. Thanks for the vid. I don't want future generations to feel this way and that makes me want change, so thanks to you and all of urban KZfaq for bringing this all to my attention, educating me, and letting me know what I can do to start the healing.

The increase in digital stimulation and its complete envelopment of young men has a major impact. Me and the boys would always be out together, now I rarely see men out together. The women I see out together are unilaterally on their phones and increasingly hunchbacked.

We made it so that even going for a simple walk is not inviting, its all privately owned cars and houses or roads NONE of which you can walk on and the nearest park is just a large open patch of lawn with a few trees around the edge as manufactured as the rest of my environment. In my area the few ppl you do see on the street many are wearing the ugliness of the society we have created on their faces usually in the form of whatever drug habit they adopted to numb them to how sh!tty their existence is. Yes ok my area is an extreme example but it is still representitive of a growing, not shrinking problem.

Thanks for this video! So many good points. The way we have built the North American over the past few decades has allowed loneliness become more of a problem for recent generations. A feeling of loneliness can lead to a lack of hope, erratic behaviour (attention seeking or looking for a community), and more. Of course the way we design is not the core to the problem but it's a large contributor. We have naturally design a social environment for centuries but irresponsible expansion of our urban areas has led to environments naturally hostile to social interaction.

Another great video!

And who is responsible for this problem? The automobile industry and its allies. Plus the companies that monetize social interactions.

I’m from NYC, I lived in Orlando FL for 2.5yrs between middle school and high school and they were the worse years. Literally couldn’t go anywhere without a car. I went to school and home and that’s it. As soon as we moved back to NYC in 10th grade, I was back in my element. I was taking public buses and trains to school. Skipping school to go hang out or explore the city, riding my bike through Brooklyn and Queens, etc.

"Them" by Ben Sasse is doubtless the best one-book volume on this problem. Doesn't really even get into the infrastructure issue, but covers so much about America's shifting social fabric that it's worth a read for anyone. Basically picks up Putnam's work and runs with it!

This is a really good video. I miss the 3rd spaces of growing up. There were kids every where to play with. Outside dam near all day on the weekends and after school. All I needed was my bike and I had access to the world around me.

we're only addicted to our phones because we have to be. without them, we teens would almost never talk to each other outside of school, and in school we do, ya know, schoolwork. we use our phones so much because we wanna be out and meeting each other (and new people) randomly, talking to them, etc, but we can't so we made that space our of pixels on a screen. but pixels on a screen don't quite do the job. i wanna just pull up to my friend's houses at random, or maybe we'll spend some time walking to a spot for ice cream before going home from school. but everything is so far apart that it's impossible

Identify problem, Introduce solution, reassure hope... what a great video.

When I think of third places I often think of town squares I knew growing up in small towns.

It's this finance capitalism model where elitism, profit, and individualism are highly promoted via numerous corporate propaganda campaigns. 😳

Particularly appreciated the message about agency at the end!

Cars suck and absolutely do isolate us. However, long work hours are also to blame. After work adults are just too exhausted to do anything else. The stuff about kids just forming spontaneous social groups, well adults can't have that because we are enslaved 40 hours a week to capitalist soul-crushing labor. Socializing is just as important for adults as for kids, but we don't act like it. Even if third spaces exist, all I want to do is go home and unwind because I am burned out. The city shutting down the swim club hits hard. Cops will ignore actual crime and choose instead to harass normal people doing harmless things. I used to get harassed by cops because the bike route I took had one spot that went through sidewalk for 1 block, and they would chase me every day and shout at me to get off my bike. In that city there was a huge drug issue, car theft ring, open air drug market, and issues with violence, burglary, etc. But the cops chose to spend their time harassing a girl on a bike. We need to rethink our policing strategy.

People are lonely because they want to be around people. We need constant mental stimulation, and people provide that more easily than our interest in a hobby. We moved toward privacy because we actually don't like interacting with a vast majority of people. Crime and disgust moved us toward privacy. Lack of trust moved us toward protectiveness. Where people stay indoors, crime goes down.

My thrid place growing up was Xbox live. Lol I went to a school that was 45 minutes away which made this even more nessesary for me.

I feel like I noticed this when I was in high school but didn't know how to articulate it. Basically every summer I would have at least 1 day where I was just wandering around the house muttering to myself "I want to go outside and do something...." but because I couldn't think of _what_ I could or would do, I just...stayed at home. Now that I'm an adult with a big girl salary I can...wander down to stores and browse aimlessly... Perfect! Sometimes I just go for walks too, but its still a problem that I have even with 40 hours of my week being occupied with work and another like 6 hours occupied by driving. At least now I know that its not just me, and I'm not entirely to blame for not having anywhere to go. The idea of having a place where I could just wander down to to see people I know whenever I'm bored or lonely feels so very appealing (even though I know that its not that simple and that it would require some work to maintain). I used to get that through my video games, but I don't care what the boomers say, I'm not under any illusion that its a replacement for in person interactions. Its just more accessible.

MEDIA PA MENTIONED man I love living there. It feels really special seeing kids of various ages be able to roam town with their friends and not be carted everywhere in mom's Suburban. I didn't really get that as a kid, so I hope I get to raise my kids in Media (or somewhere like it) so that they grow up building independence and confidence. Media teeters on the edge in some cases with how much space it devotes to cars and non-residents, so there's still fighting to be done to preserve (and augment) its walkability and small-town charm. It also could benefit from pedestrian-friendly street design. Too many people rolling stop signs and I don't want to wait for someone to die in order for there to be a change.

I grew up in one of those desolate isolating suburbs. I fled the nest at 18 to find real connections. I get it. Side note? Why is everyone? Talking in question marks? Upspeaking? I have a hypothesis that that cultural linguistic weirdness is related to our isolation and staring to phones instead of actually talking to each other.

Hey, Strong Towns, great video. I used to wonder "Why???"about all this about suburban living...after I got back from some time spent in Europe. Eventually, a phrase I heard a LOT as a child growing up in the 50s and 60s popped into my head: "A man's home is his castle." It was almost a sort of mantra back then and I started to think it may have unintentionally caused an unconscious or subconscious isolationist mindset (since a castle is a fortress) which was never challenged, to my knowledge, until now. *: D* Keep up the great work, Strong Towns! Things CAN change for the better!

My dad, who is 81 now, talks about when he was a kid in small town New Mexico and everyone would sit on the porch and neighbors would walk by and stop to visit. The street was the third place community building happened. Great video! Thank you.