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I was in an extreme metal band called Infant Slug in the early 90s. We “did nothing” in the grand scheme of things. Made no money. Never got a deal. But I’ll occasionally get a random person from somewhere on the opposite end of the planet that finds me online and messages me about it. Somebody put our independent 30+ year old demo up on Spotify and it somehow gets over 200 monthly listeners. No advertising. Band has been broken up for 30 years and never made a cent for us, yet it still finds ears and hearts all these years later. My current life has little to do with music, yet I carry Infant Slug around in the back of my mind as a personal success. Perspective I guess.

What I can’t stand about our youth obsessed culture, is the idea that life is over after 30. I lost my 20s to bad decisions, depression and drugs. That idea that it’s too late for me made it so much harder to get sober, cause I figured “what was the point?”

at 39 i was in a dead end job barely making ends meet, and just had enough of it one day. i busted my ass to self learn to code via the internet and youtube and was able to turn things around 100%. ive been a professional software developer at a company making 3x what i was before. Its ABSOLUTELY possible, its just putting in the effort and work to change yourself that most people give up on. I was at a point there was no failure, failure meant the possibility of being homeless or having nothing. If you are reading this and need some inspiration, dont give up, you will make it. Persevere and i promise its worth it.

Charles Bukowski worked in a post-office until his fifties. Rodney Dangerfield was a salesman until his fifties. Robert Pollard of GBV was a teacher well into his forties. Growing up punk, I never saw music as a career so I've always been happy having it as a money-losing hobby. But age isn't really a factor so much anymore.

When Chester died, I was panicking thinking “if a guy who has had all the success and money and fame in the world still couldn’t handle life, what chance does a failure like me have??” Then slowly from that I put together that none of those things are the miracle cure to wanting to kill yourself.

I'm 27 and I've been feeling pretty down lately because I'm not where I want to be in life. I appreciate this Finn.

I agree 100%. Nothing in life makes you feel special, because you're not. Once you achieve a goal you will be looking for the next thing.

idk if it's the universe speaking to me or something, but Finn always drops these very necessary videos during the hardest times of my life. Hope to keep seeing more of it

Im 36 and i feel my life is just really starting. I spent almost 15 yrs strung out on dugs making every mistake you could think of and when I got clean 6 yrs ago I had to pick up all the pieces and try to make something of it. Im still fighting everyday to make something work and I cant give up cause music is what i truly love and no matter if im 40, 50 or whenever if it happens then awesome if not then thats cool to.

20:48 - Homeowner here. Finn is 100% right. I completely blew threw all my emergency savings fixing my home up and paying the first year's property taxes and I am now in the arduous process of getting out of credit card debt. I'm grateful I own a home but the stress doesn't disappear. It just takes a different form.

I never really saw a living in music, but making it for me was touring different countries, seeing new places and hopefully making music that means something to someone. I've done, and continue to do those things. People tell me how songs I've written have gotten them through hard times. Hell, people have been lowered into the ground with one of my songs playing. I made it when I was well into my thirties. I'm 42 and maybe I'll see you on the road. Keep going, everyone.

I’m still an architectural designer at age 33 and most of my graduating class are licensed architects. If I was in the frenzy of people trying to cram study and getting anxious about passing I would be in a much worse spot than I am now. I am studying at my own pace and learning a lot more in the field as a result of waiting. I love that there are people who recognize this struggle and are addressing it! :)

LOVED THIS. Was a starving artist till i was 31 when i finally landed a tattoo apprenticeship that led to a successful career. So grateful i had 10 years to get better before achieving it.

Andy Summers of the Police was 38 when their first record came out and in his 40s when they were the biggest band in the world.

If you're making music for any reason other than because you love it, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. I do it cause its fun af

When I was in high school, I started making music, and for a while, I really thought that I could find a band (which I never did) and maybe even "break out" to some extent. To be honest, by the time I left high school, I had completely given up on that. I made death metal, it frankly just wasn't realistic to consider a career in that way, especially as a solo project. I'm now in college for mechanical engineering, but I still make music. It's even weirder music than it was when I started, but it's reached far more people than I would have ever expected. I'm not bringing home a sustainable paycheck from it, but it means something to people. I have listeners in countries around the world, when I never expected to have them out of state. Did I "make it"? Not at all, but I'm a few weeks away from releasing my second album, and there's a good chance that there are people genuinely excited for that release. That alone is enough for me to keep making music.

You never know how the road will go. While living in England, I was given a contract in 2005 to podcast for Podshow/Mevio, Adam Curry's company. I was 36. When I was not renewed in 2010, I realized I had learned how to record and had acquired a lot of equipment, so I got back into music. I was a punk since the early 80s, but I was producing many genres even as I kept the ethos. Jump ahead to 2012 at 43, where the experience I gained with all that got me a job as a composer and soundscape designer at a Natural Science museum. I started recording and releasing electronic music in 2015 at 45. I also was a Moogfest artist in 2016 and 17. I am still releasing music in a couple of genres now, and it breaks even. However, I make my living making soundscapes, music, and audio exhibit design. Have I made it? Not by the definition of most. But I do pay for my house and lifestyle with music. And I started on this path in my 40s, seriously at least. Never quit.

I used to be a pretty prolific song writer in my 20s (now in my 40s) and there is one song I wrote when I was 23 or 24 that I occasionally play and sing for people and they are astonished and tell me I should be on americas got talent or whatever and I just laugh. The reception of the song has been pretty consistent over almost 2 decades and sometimes I wonder what if. As part of a grad school practicum for a masters degree in counseling I recorded sort of an ‘end of my 20s’ album for myself just to get all of my best ideas out in one volume and it was a huge hit with my friends and family. Perhaps that’s all it was ever meant to do.

This is great advice from both Mary and you, and something I only learned recently myself at the age of 43 while in therapy. I became almost a different person and started feeling content in my life once I could exercise gratitude for the things I have in life, rather than wanting to unalive myself because I don't think I measure up to other people or because I was less than perfect and make mistakes at work some days.

Like many others here, this hits home. I'm 29 - I have a degree, a good job that I like, my own house, and two vehicles (paid off). I've run 3 marathons so far, trying to get my time under 3 hours to qualify for Boston. I was in an original band that got played on a couple of radio stations, but I quit last year and just play covers solo now. I've had some success, I do things that I'm passionate about and give me purpose in life, and I STILL feel like a failure a lot of the time! I've also been single for years now too, kind of by choice so I could pursue these other things, but all of my friends are getting married and having kids and it makes me feel like I'm falling behind, some of them subtly rub it in sometimes too which sucks. Honestly Finn, hearing you and Mary talk about this and sharing your stories helps me a lot. I'm not trying to be the next Taylor Swift or anything, but I do want more in everything I do and I feel like my window is starting to close on some things because I'm almost in my 30's. I mean it when I say it - you are an inspiration. Thank you for doing what you do, and thank you for talking about this 🙏

This whole video is spot on with me. Let me give you the 3 takes on me - the negative spin, the positive spin and reality as I see it. Negative - I’ve been releasing music for decades and I’m nowhere close to being a rockstar. Rockstars are ‘cool’ and I am not. People roll their eyes when hearing about my music ‘career’. Nearly everything in my music would be called ‘cringe’ by Finn. My Spotify numbers would probably rank about 10th among bands in my own neighborhood. Positive - I tour all around regularly. I’ve played the most iconic metal festival 3 times (including this year). My first album is considered an underground classic and has been reissued over 6 times. I had a song in a motion picture. I’m in many books about heavy metal. My reality - I had 2 passions growing up as a young kid. One became my day job (love it) and the other is playing heavy metal. I’m an old guy (probably old enough to be Finns Dad), but my love for playing metal has never wavered. People can laugh about me not ‘making it’ at my age, but what do I care? I’m doing what I love to do. I’m into it. I raised 3 successful kids, worked a demanding career and still made all my teenage music dreams come true. This whole concept of ‘making it’ is just so weird.

I'm 43 now. By my own standards, I am old. By music standards, I'm a dinosaur. But it was only two years ago that I felt confortable enough not to give a sh** about what other might think of my music and I finally started releasing it. It's not groundbreaking, it's very simple and most of it is kind of derivative, but it's something that really make me happy to create. Yes, I am fortunate enough not to have to depend on it to make ends meet, but I cannot express how grateful I feel for the 2 weird Australians that like it enough to listen to it regularly.

Also, I decided to go back to school & get my degree, pursue my dream last year at 30. It finally dawned on me that, ten years from now, I'll be 40 whether I pursue my dream or not. I'd rather be 40 with my degree, working my dream job, than turn 40 regretting that I didn't do it.

I think it IS in the mind for sure. I'm 33 and began drumming in my first band at age 12. By 14 I was performing in local shows. Between 15-20, my band at the time was opening up for damn near every national band that was touring through our city and surrounding cities. We have a smaller list of bands we DIDN'T get to open for than we did. I'm 33 now and even with having multiple albums under my belt, I still feel that I've accomplished nothing. My second band fell apart during the pandemic because of shutdowns and then members starting to have kids during that time and giving up. After all the work I put in, it feels so defeating to basically have nothing to show for my 20 years of writing, performing, and recording music. We never made it past the local level and still nobody even knows either of my bands. And I'd like to believe that we were actually pretty badass. It just sucks when you've worked for one thing for most of your life just to end up back where you started. I honestly don't even have it in me to start again with a new project.

I've been following Mary and Finn for years at this point. Whenever I've started to fall into obsessive thoughts like not being shit in my twenties and constantly comparing myself, both my therapist and these types of content creators have let me rediscover what I believe to be the meaning of life. I'll be 31 in a couple months. I'm not even close to Mary's level but I identify with her whole video. I'm very grateful for these guys and to anyone feeling anxiety or losing hope in life and themselves, don't give in to desperation. Listen to these people, they know what they're talking about. Thanks guys.

Thanks for the encouragement!

I heard advice from Mark Manson a couple years ago that really changed my life : "There’s no such thing as a life without problems. All you can do is improve the quality of your problems." I stopped shying away and checking out in stressful situations and started embracing the problems that came with what I wanted. I just turned 41 and I’m more successful than I ever been. I’m not the successful author I envisioned myself to be at 26, but I’m a journalist now and I get to tell stories for a living. Oh and I haven’t given up on that manuscript either

I am 39 years old now and I and my team won BAFTA Film Awards this year for VFX for house of dragons. Keep working on your dreams!!!! I am still not happy hahahha. But i'm proud of what i've done

I suddenly became 25 after a very long period of being young. LOL this sounds silly but that's literally how 25 feels. When you're 25, you've reached the age when most of your icons already made it big. Kurt Cobain, Led Zep, Hendrix, the list goes on. I feel like musicians can experience a slightly less anxious version of the "midlife crisis" just because of this!

I needed this. I always had bands that broke up and a good handful of years were wasted just finding new members. I got sick of it and went solo on everything. Every instrument plus the singing and now recording my own music too.

if you're only making music to become "famous" you arent making music for the right reasons. Im 33 and have a fan base and it's tiny but its really fun and I get to make friends thru it.

i'm 28, spend most of my 20s dealing with my head saying i'm not good enough for anything, dealing with addiction and all sorts of stuff. In the beggining of this year i've decided i've had enough of that shit, went to therapy, started taking bass lessons and today for the first time in my life i'm going up on a stage to play some Metallica along side with my younger brother that play drums, I feel like that young kid in me that always dreamt about going up on a stage and have some fun would be so fucking proud, I own him that, after all this years of feeling like shit I'm finally learning that i'm much more than I thought I was. It will never be to late, we deserve to feel happiness. Stay strong all of you, much love.

One thing that a lot of people seem to very easily forget is : whatever the level of comfort and success you're at, you will ALWAYS get used to it eventually. That's just how the human brain works. Reaching a new level of comfort feels amazing right away, but this feeling will always slowly fade away as it becomes less special and more the norm. A lot of people think that you're at your most happy once you finished the job, reached your goals and can enjoy the comfort, but that's actually far from the truth. The part that matters the most is having goals, and working towards achieving them. You actually have something going on in your life, and can feel the satisfaction of your work going somewhere and creating something. That's the truly fulfilling part. And that's why the most happy people are the ones that take their time to grow, both personally and professionally, and never stop growing. Being catapulted to the top instantly without effort is actually the worst thing that could happen to you (except from being catapulted to the bottom I guess lmao but you see what I mean) You didn't get the satisfaction of seeing your work pay off, everything that should be special, exceptional or precious just becomes the norm in your life, and you get to a point where any goal you could aim for is either almost impossible to achieve or completely ludicrous and most probably extremely illegal lmao. That's why most of the people in this situation become depressed messes that have to resort to extreme measures just to feel something. The morale of all of that is : always have goals in life, always keep these goals attainable, always work towards achieving them, and once you succeed, DO NOT stop there thinking you're gonna be content, quickly start it all again with new goals. But the most important thing of all : ABSOLUTELY NEVER AT ANY POINT try to compare your goals and achievements with those of others, ESPECIALLY not the famous people. We all have different perspectives, scales and difficulties. Some people might aim to create successful art and make a living out of it, while some others might aim to knit a cute blanket for their dog, and some others might aim to be able to get out of bed in the morning without having to force themselves and hate themselves for it. And all of them are equally valid, the only thing that matters is that they are working towards achieving them. Don't give up, skeleton!

19:25 the way ive heard this put before is like this: having money is nice because it can pay away the external issues & problems that bring you unhappiness, but you can only find happiness within.

I was stuck for years in my 20’s. I worked on an album for like 3 years but perfectionism, addiction and frankly just lack of drive to continue toiling over something that no one ever cares about anyway got the best of me and I gave up on music for several years. For years this album was hanging over my head and I built it up in my mind to be this impossible task and I would shut down every time I thought about it. The reality though, is that music has always been the only thing I truly care about and the truth is I’d rather be dead than work a 9-5 job for the rest of my life and I spent like 5 years in this turmoil and internal conflict. For years I couldn’t write anything and barely played. In 2021 I started playing again and all the sudden songs just started pouring out of me. Songs that are at such a level of quality that I almost can’t believe I wrote them. Way beyond anything that I wrote before but still I couldn’t get myself to actually record them or finish the old album. It turned out that turning 30 this year is what finally woke me up and made me realize that I need to do something with my life while I still have time. I finished the old album, which is now streaming and I’ve been grinding like crazy for several months now. It’s still frustrating that literally no one can care less about anything I make but I’m very happy to finally be working towards something in my life. I have so much faith in this material I’ve been writing for the last two years and the first one coming out is the first song I wrote in early 21 after I hadn’t written anything for years. Should be out next week and it’s a banger but it’s just the first of dozens of songs soon to come. So it took living in hell for years on end and turning 30 to wake me up. Idk if it’s helpful for anyone else but that’s my story.

Many legendary electronic musicians started their careers in their 30's. It's quite common in EDM actually. Even in other genres. I mean look at some of the 'butt rock' bands that Finn loves to make fun of, some of these dudes were 35 when they started out

As a 45 year old, and as a musician that has many friends that love my music and encourage me, but has never “made it”, this video helped me feel a little better, so thank you. Totally true though that in regards to music, it is a young persons game. Which is weird to me, since as an artist, my art gets better and more meaningful and skilled as I get older and have more practice and life experiences,

As I got older, I've stopped thinking of myself as needing to be at a certain point by a certain age, and started thinking about what I want to do with my life before I am no longer physically able to do it. Being honest about what you want and then finding out how to do it is a pretty great part of being older.

I’m 28 years old, been playing guitar since I was 9 and producing/recording music since I was 13. In the past few years I have finally gotten to a place where I’m making than a more than comfortable living teaching, gigging, producing/mixing for clients, guitar repairs, etc. and I still have time for my original music projects. It’s only been snowballing in growth since then and I’m excited every day to watch my dream become more of a reality before my eyes.

Love this video. Your combined advice is gold.

Just finished college yesterday so really good timing, great advice, comforting to hear that it's fine to not accomplish a whole lot in our 20s especially due to the pressure we have

Lost over 10 years of life progress to addiction ... turns out that the experience made me super resilient to stress,pain,challenge .. I was able to move up quick in my new job inside of 3 years after. You never know what life is going to bring. I went from selling all my shit to having a 100,000+/yr salary. It's all possible, but it starts with a deep breath and an honest effort to challenge yourself. Go get it 💪 ❤

Here I sit at 39 years old... did 12 years in the military and had several setbacks. I am in recovery and one day at a time it's all possible. I just finished my first semester in college for sound recoding and music technology. Don't give up ever.

4:15, exactly my definition of success is making a living doing what I love, nothing more. To be able to do what I want with my life

yes. small myspace bands live rent free in my head forever

Tier lists have been usurped, "Life Lessons with Finn" is the new S tier content.

good shit. i’m 39 and reinventing my life. i couldn’t be happier and it has absolutely nothing to do with money. in fact, i’m making about 100k less to focus on family. fuck what the algo is telling you success looks like. cut your own path!

This is the kind of wisdom that only comes with maturity and life experience. Great stuff man

I’ll be 35 on the 27th. After a year of trying to get a new band together because my old band of 7 years fell apart and failing to start said new band, joining other bands and realize it wasn’t what I artistically was feeling, and over all 20 years of constantly trying, I finally deleted all social media, cut contact with every musician I know and just completely gave up on trying to do anything musical other than writing and recording for myself. It was a hard pill to swallow, but the dream after 20 years wasn’t happening. Maybe I suck as a musician? Idk, but I’m much happier now that I can do my own thing and not stress about everyone else’s involvement or lack there of. Turns out… there are no drummers in southwest Virginia😂😂😂

Mary is such a sweet lady. Have watched many of her videos and seen her on a lot of other peoples videos. I would not consider myself a "fan" of her music, but her attitude is spot-on.

The way I look at it, sometimes in life you have to find your true passion and goal by giving up on your first dream! If you are not seeing any success in it. We live in a world where people tell us to never give up on our goal even if we have to wait 10 years, keep pushing until you get it. Let me tell you something!! if you are working hard on some thing for 10 years and you don’t even see 50% accomplishment out of it. You have every right to let it go and find some thing else that you know that can easily change your life around in a second. People feel like they have to live up to what people believe in you and it’s completely done. Sometimes to find a better accomplishment you have to allow your first dream to just die because maybe it was not meant to be to begin with, but just be proud you put a lot of effort into it at all. 🙂

I was getting really existential as I approached 30, as if turning 30 would made me "old" and a failure for not accomplishing more with my 20s. ... It was just a number. Early 30s are so far are largely the same as my late 20s. I'm a lot more relaxed now without that stupid clock of impending doom at my back, and most importantly, I can recognize now that I'm still pretty damn young and there's a whole lot of life ahead after turning 30 in which to accomplish things. (Here's hoping I don't get existential again when I approach 40 lol)

I LOVE Mary Spender! She’s so talented and real…super relatable.

wayne static was 32 or 33 when he started static x after multiple failed musical attempts, courtney laplante and mike stringer of spiritbox are 32 and 34 and are just now getting started at showing their musical prowess, you make better music when youve lived a lot of life and gained some wisdom and stuff to actually write about.

I'm 34 and honestly in a deep depression right now...... I've let life beat me down on top of other bad things that have happened over the past couple years. I've even considered the "s" word quite a few times especially in the last few months. Part of my problem tho is this negative mindset of not being successful early in life. Even tho I am self aware enough to realize that money isn't everything, in the grand scheme of things, at least for me, the way the economy is, the little bit of money that i do make doesn't do anything anymore. I have 7 kids, 3 are my bio and the other 4 are my wife's from her previous relationship. I couldn't imagine leaving all of them behind, but in the same it's hard to wake up everyday knowing that even tho they are taken care of with the basics, unless something drastic changes, they are just going to keep getting the basics. This video does make me realize that i could still do something and it's not too late. Idk maybe I'll buy a guitar again and see what happens. Success in my 20s would have been nice but Finn is right. I would have fucked it up. Anyway there's my 2 cents from my perspective at least.

Appreciate the vid. We are a metalcore band are writing the best material of our lives. All of us in our early 30’s. One of us might be 50 but I’m not saying who. Just reaching our area code and writing the best music possible and being important to someone else’s life is our only goal. For them to bob their head, dance hard, and two step to our set is the top of the mountain.

i like a book analogy and refer to my life experiences as pages or chapters. Anything can happen in your book of life, the story isn't over until its over.

SosMula (one of the two members of City Morgue) was 30 when their first album dropped, which was the album that put them on the map. he likes to lie about his age though and say he's like 5 years younger but it's confirmed he's 35 lol.

Satisfaction is the death of desige

Seriously great video. Gonna write some riffs tonight simply because I want to.

In my opinion, gratitude is an important topic when it comes to happiness. How can you be truly happy without appreciating the things you have already achieved/experienced/received?

Im pushing 40 years old and in the last two years have found success playing cover music. Enough success to where I quit my day job. I consider that a win in my book.

At 32, very helpful to hear. Also appreciating the contributions in the comments. I kind of felt like I failed when I finally took an office job a couple years back, but it's improved my quality of living and stability, and actually helped me develop my art more. I still dream of being a provider thru my creative skills one day 🎸

I just recently turned 22 and really appreciate this advice. It’s hard not to feel behind in life and think that you need to have everything accomplished already and compare yourself to others.

When I think of older people being successful in music, the first thing that comes to mind are the grizzled old blues singers/guitarists. They've definitely used their longer life experience to their advantage.

I find it really interesting because I play in a band called Fragile City (punk/hardcore/pop/metal) in Denver and we are a relatively new band. We are all in our 30's and one of our members is 40. In only a year of playing, we have seen our crowd double in size. We get more people at our shows than we get streams for sure, which I feel is rare. We've played some great shows and have been given some amazing opportunities to succeed in this way. We find that most of the people who get stoked about our music are teenagers and they relate to our band, which we find wild. We are blending a lot of different styles of music into one thing, which I suppose does seem fresh. I also write really introspective songs about loss, addiction, friendship, gentrification, wanting to escape a 9-5, those kinds of things. We do get some older fans, but by and large, the people who come see us at the merch booth and talk to us after shows are the younger generation. We all look the part too (tattoos, leather jackets, piercings, patches, pins, etc.), so maybe that helps.🤷‍♂I know of bands that are doing great things and are older than we are as well. I think that alternative music particularly, it is more important to have songs that people connect to and can relate to, but looking the part does help to some degree as well.

I’ve been struggling with this a lot. I’m a musician because music is my greatest passion in life. I’m a machinist because the world runs on money. I feel a lot that by the time I’m through my apprenticeship (I’ll be 21-22), it’ll be too late to really go for a career in music, even though I know it’s not true. I also feel like I’m stagnant because of the time and energy I used to have for music is now eaten up by 8 hours of work 1 1/2 hours of commute, and apprenticeship classes all night two days a week. It’s hard to balance work and trying to stay proficient in singing and guitar, and writing songs, and doing the song and dance you have to do as a musician to get attention. Thanks for this vid, it’s comforting to know that I’ve got all the time I need and that I’m still very young.

The part where you said "just sign anything" reminded me of what happened with A Day to Remember. That ended real well.

I think success is whatever YOU feel it is. Im almost 35. Long story short I had a dream of being a musician since I was 11, ended up having a child at 16 and joining the army. Only "Music" related thing ive done was get a degree in Audio Production never even recorded a full song. Success to me is eventually releasing ONE song im proud of regardless how performs.

I went to school for music thinking I wanted to be an artist for a living, but I quickly learned that I did not care enough about music to make money off of it. I'm 24 and I've pivoted to being an AV technician. I find it satisfying because it's an inherently valuable skill that people will pay money for. It gives me a place in society, and makes me feel important. I have no idea if I want to make it into a long-term career, but all I know is it's given me enough money to live comfortably. I have good job security, and feel like I have enough time and resources to figure out where to go from here. I'm just enjoying the ride. I've worked with some pretty important politicians and media personalities these past few years, and I feel like I'm growing into a functional worker and human being.

I'm 32, and I started this project/band in 2014. I'm still trying to navigate scenes and explore where we could fit in terms of identity/sound. I feel as if I'm just getting started. I'll admit, I'm not the greatest of songwriters and there is very little chance that this will become stereotypically successful. However, my ultimate goal is to land my art on a big enough stage to express it as theatrically as possible. Not arenas, but music halls are the best I could hope for... I'll keep going to some capacity as best as I can until life finally plants me.

“Making it” as a creative is such a thing that keeps going on an uneven evolution. Like I’ve sold large scale artwork to big clients, but that isn’t quite the reality of consistent sustainable income. I have certainly made steps to invest in myself, but it’s just an ongoing evolution. Resting on your laurels isn’t always an option. If anything it’s best to build other skills to have other options and if possible can feed into your artistic practice. I spent 5 years learning to design websites. You won’t always be a fit for those jobs but making the effort to branch out is as crucial to sustainability as much as investing in your career.

Finn this is probably one of the realest videos I’ve seen you put out. Thank you for that. I’m 34 myself and been thru many different jobs. Got a degree in music and another degree in church ministry. Ministry didn’t work out so I left, and I’m currently working at a completely different business industry. Love my job, and makes enough to pay for the house. I also had a lot of pressure from peers and family to get married and have kids. I’m not married but seeing other people’s stories of being unsatisfied in marriage puts it in a more realistic perspective. It’s as if it’s a thing that will make you happy for the rest of your life, but it’s not. There’s always another “social step” to go. I still play guitar and love jamming on metal riffs. Am I gonna be the next John Mayer or Metallica? Probably not, but I enjoy it and that’s enough for me. As Kirk Hammett said in an interview, if he wasn’t in Metallica, he’d be a music teacher and still play guitar, doing what he loves.

I've been following your channel for a while, but never make it to actually commenting. Mary's video is great, but your insights and comments add another layer to it all. I'm 44, making music. I actually make very little money from it, specially due to my current circumstances since I can't play live at all (my audience is in one country, I live in another - long story). Been doing this since I was 29, don't have a huge following or anything, but whenever I feel like I'm done or anything I seem to get some message, email or comment saying how the music I make has impacted someone's life. That's insane. The main reason I don't quit is simply that I really like making music. Have been doing it for myself almost since day one. Still have my day job, but to actually have had an impact on someone's life... can't afford to buy my own house. Or my own car for that matter, but it sure feels like success. Thank you for your videos. :)

I was in an old school grindcore band called Stabbed in the Face. We didn't do much but play around the Puget Sound for a couple years. My buddy put our first demo here on KZfaq a few years back. It was cool hearing it again after such a long time. I really hoped we could have done more with it.

These videos - in particular your videos about success, about dealing with failure, etc. - are some of your best.

Understanding the Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs would really help put a lot of things into perspective for people when it comes to finances and happiness. The truth is, it's hard to find that upper tier of self actualization without your more basic needs having been met - your shelter, food, water, health, etc. - and money helps guarantee that those foundations are established. However, money won't necessarily help you find meaningful relationships, or love, or purpose/self-actualization. You need some amount of it to establish that base, and even more to ensure that base will never crumble out from under you, but that's about the extent of the distance it will take you toward true joy, happiness, purpose, meaning, etc etc. It's like this I think - money is like the cement in the concrete foundation of a house; without it, it's really hard to build a stable foundation from which to build, but beyond a certain point it's not bringing you any closer to having a house. It takes a lot more to build a home atop that foundation.

The key I've had to learn, is that phrase she said "enjoy the journey".

Thank you to Mary for the powerful video and thanks to Finn for expounding on every point. Having the big house and fancy cars mean nothing if you are still not happy.

One of my hobbies is making electronic music, and one of the websites I upload I get reasonable listening, but I've never sold a single song, but what I appreciate more is the enjoyment people get from listening to the music and the nice messages that i get

The point about money is spot on. They are a means to an end, and they can solve many imminent issues, like getting a home, fixing your health, getting an education, or whatever. And then you realize there's a shitton of things you can't throw money at to achieve them or for them to go away, that you can't just buy good mood or peace of mind, can't pay people to stop being assholes, etc.

I'm 28 and just NOW feel like I'm in touch with my instrument that I've been playing since I was child while playing some of the best shows of my life. Respecting the grind and understanding the process in whatever creative outlet you're pursuing makes you appreciate the little things so much more. Being a teenager fucking sucks anyway.

As an "old guy" and just when I was about to "pipe in" with a thought, Finn really laid it out real well with his thoughts! Especially 10:00 - 11:20

I have been a self sustaining artist for 3 decades and completely happy with my journey. I could have signed a major record deal in the late 90/2000's and it just wasn't worth the risk knowing the position I would be put in. Rock n Roll knows no age and if your work is consistent and quality it will reach quality people regardless of size. It still takes 1 million to break an artist into the mainstream and comparisons like this are unrealistic and only 1% of artists.

Man, that book reference hit! (22:56) i discover a book published in 1970 and decided to turn it into a podcast because I am so in love with every story it contains! Great video again Finn, your thoughts on stuff like this still get me stoked on life.

Im a big Hold Steady fan. Pleasantly surprised to hear her mention Craig Finn

This is one of the best videos you have ever done.

Thanks Finn, really needed this today. Always enjoy your stuff!

David Guetta was 42 when he scored his first hit song with Kelly Rowland

100% needed that today. Thanks Finn and Mary! We're currently a band where our members are in the early to mid 30s. We play a style of music called Hybrid Metal (mix of metalcore, thrash and hard rock) and we believe our music is super marketable. Our goals have definitely changed since our 20s. We've opened for artists like Rob Zombie, The Offspring, I Prevail, and Rise Against, have worked with major names in the industry, and had some label opportunities. Honestly, we've had more "talking points" than a lot of other smaller bands but that's all it is: talk. Did it materialize to fame and fortune? Absolutely not. We're past the age of being rockstars and would love to just make music for a living. We love to visit new areas, talk with different people and are just blown away if someone wears our shirt! This is just a reminder that success is different for everyone and as long as you're happy, that's all that counts.

Lowkey needed this. I used to be a musician and thought when I was younger that it's all I ever wanted to be. Turns out it was hard to be in bands and overall was just never working out. Flash forward to an adult who missed the idea of doing a tour but also realized I like going to sleep in my own bed and waking up next to my fiance every day. That said, this video helps me even now as I've started a KZfaq channel for painting small plastic people (I'm a colossal nerd). I got into it when I was 25 and it makes me happy. Yet I still do the same things mentioned in this video. I feel like I missed success at a younger age because I didn't know what I wanted to do (still don't). I absolutely get caught in the pitfalls of failing to release videos super regularly, creating content, etc and it's a huge bummer. But I also have a full time job that absolutely wields Salary hours every chance it can. I massively appreciate the reaction to her video and the overall message Finn. Crushed it 🤙

Bjork released her Debut album at 28. Arguably her best album, Homogenic, was released when she was 32. Her early to mid-2000s albums (my favorites), she was pushing 40.

This video just gave me the energy and motivation I've been needing for a while now

Im turning 40 and im still not giving up. Just need to set priorities

I think everyone needs to succeed a little to really frame how imaginary 'success' is defined. You really need to feel like you did a thing and feel it slip a little to really own the perspective. As always, all great commentary sir!

I needed this

One of my all time favorite groups is a now-retired punk band from Victoria BC called NomeansNo. It's core members were two brother with a 10 year age gap, the older brother being almost 30 when they started. They built a cult following, an overseas fan base, toured constantly and made extremely niche punk with each album taking fairly drastic turns from the last. They did that for 30 years. When I saw them they were touring their last album and Rob was 60 or so. One of the best shows I've ever seen. They played for like 60 of us in a small venue in an artsy college town. In an interview I heard Rob express gratitude that they were able to earn a living touring, that they were temperamentaly suited to the road and he said he considered what he did as a trade that just happened to be their art, he said he was the same as a plumber or electrician. To me they are a true working class success story and helped me disavow grand notions of rock stardom or what it means to "make it" creatively. Creative people need to SELL THEIR WORK and not hold out for a big break. Put the silver in your palm and do the work.

Wasted a vast amount of my life fuckin off and fuckin up with the wrong people and wrong things. Countless opportunities that I just pissed away. I spend a lot of time thinking about about what could’ve been. From the age of 19 to 31 I really crippled myself in life. But….things are slowly gettin better. Almost 33 now, been clean off of meth for over a year, actually have a decent job now. It took me just getting up and getting the fuck outta Ga and moving away from everything I knew. It’s not been easy, but I feel better than I ever have in life. You get the life you choose.

Yup. I'm a myspace rapper who never amounted to shit lol. But to this day those people that liked my music back then still listen and still tell me how much of an impact it made on their life. Even bigger artists now write me and tell me how my music inspired them. There's success at many different levels.