@Sam N Even then over time if left too long, it will leave a slight oily or damp looking spot. Better than anything else tho!

BREAK THAT WALL DOWN....... REAGAN.... SMASH!!!......

SegaDream131 how can you be so stupid as to make an unfunny and irrelevant joke? Your handlers must be worried sick about you. Are you even allowed on a computer unsupervised?

@@rowdyrobgaming8726 Blow me fignuts......

Don't you understand our workplace hierarchy? It's do as she says, no as she does, since she is senior she has earned her right to damage the workplace and set and enforce menial micromanaging rules, you should understand that she can make life very difficult for you if she chooses so stay silent and do what your told pumpkin.

Feels like a character from The Office.

What? Actress? The Onion isn't real???

@@axenledgie1423 it's real, you can't have a reenaction without an actor.

She played the part so well that I found myself actually despising her, and then having to remind myself that she's an actor xD

Actress?

pure gold

I'd argue off of experience and observation alone that petty drama both within and without the workplace is just that - petty. Yet, it stands out so sharply in contrast to the monotonous, mind-numbing work of the average wagie that the petty drama actually seems something worth engaging in. It's pretty sad.

amen, I don't care very much about office politics either. If you aren't happy move on

Boomer culture essence

I read this just as she said it lmao

People don't change, only their conditions

That's really wasn't very long ago at all. It was very similar in the 70s as well

Because it shows that humans are at heart petty, peevish vindictive creatures that will turn on each other in an instant at the first hint of their status being threatened. Always have been, always will. Until we evolve into something else.

Some shit just doesn't change.

@@SomeGuy-gc8zs Just their computer monitors.

Finally, I found an 11 year old comment.

Holy shit he typed this when i was a little kid

@@lil_jong-un6668 Same, I was 12 and didn't have a computer or even know what KZfaq was.

The oldest comment I found until now was 9 years old, and this one sure beats it.

I wonder if gryphonshire still get notices of comments to his thread.

LOLLL

The mattress lobby wants you to believe that boxspring are useful when they actually dont make any difference : that one is true though! And new government service aim to protect the emotional state of the president, isnt that Fox and Friends? The Onions are prophets.

Jason Collins I’m kinda the same actually, my guide hand always ends up interfering with my shot. The problem with one hand shooting though is when you’re playing an actual game you need to pull up quick for the shot or you will get blocked or not have an open look.

@Jason Collins in fact nobody throws with both hands,but to dribble its usefull^^

two arms are useful for a lot of things. lmao

I got involved and fired.

@@patriciaoffer9585 I guess he was right, sorry about that. Take care

Indifference allows bad things to happen.

@@Celisar1 Not my problem unless it's included in my paycheck.

@@PRubin-rh4sr You’d be surprised how quickly it can become your problem. And if you don’t help other people no one will help you when you need it.

It's a meme

Holy shit is tony hawk over 50?

Yeah brilliant satire portraying how out of touch these people are and how they have no clue what young people are like or how to appeal to them. It’s a problem that we often see in politics at large where the establishment thinks they can get the youth vote solely through optics and seeming cool rather than policies that actually benefit young peoples lives

@@wh5601 it was a fucking joke

They arent saying Tony Hawk is a youth himself they are saying he is an icon of the youth.

Millenials are 30 now. Gen Z is starting to enter the workforce.

@@eganplaysMC so what comes after Z? Do we roll back to A? Also, I thought millennial were Z.. are they Y? uhg, this pedantic labeling is so confusing. And why are millennials now called boomers? Was there another baby boom after the initial one after WW2?

@@robertsides3626 Yeah we go back to A. 2013 to 2025 is Gen Alpha.

Lol there is literally a generation called the Baby Boom Echo. Yes, this crazy labelling of generations is insane.

2028 - Instagrammers

This comment is a precious relic. "Epic win!"

"Epic win" said 9 years ago

@@ilikepancakes3458 feels like i just found my great grandfathers yearbook in the attic or something

Ahh brings me back to old KZfaq where the favorite button was still a thing

"10 years ago." seems about right.

kinda like phyllis from the office lol

Why is it the "sad part" ? Sad part of what ? She encountered an idiot, which she then portrayed perfectly. I don't see any "parts" to this, let alone a sad one. Sad is when your children die before you, or the love of your life leaves you. Encountering idiots isn't sad, it's everyday stuff. You're literally talking like her character "that's what sad..."

@@EugeneOneguine You're suppressing your emotions to survive. That's pretty sad. What happened to you?

@@EugeneOneguine chill out

@@EugeneOneguine The love of your life leaving you being "sad" is really just a matter of perspective. Usually THEY are elated to be gone.

You should have picked an actual job

@@Frille512 “real job” lmao Nah, you enjoy that. I’m ok with other folks enjoying their real jobs!

@@Frille512 too true I work as a waiter for restaurant Yeah, my job is pretty fake cuz it doesn't pay enough Someday, my job will pay enough so it will become an actual job

So so true. You gotta play the game

"Actual job." This is what all jobs look like. You are either blessed enough to work in a good environment, or too ignorance to see the politics game around you, or simply have never had a job.

Onion is on a completely different level from SNL.

SNL = humor(sugar) to facilitate(help the medicine go down) social engineering. Like shaming unprogressive norms that constrain our impulses

@@aprescienceofhumor7977 i have no idea what you just said but i probably agree

T. Thomas The Onion doesn’t cry about fucking everything

the onion has better production quality and direction than SNL SNL is basically children trying to replicate it and basically being unaware of what makes the onion so great in the first place

Hahaha that’s why they want people to go into the office in 2021…

@@Pcarnevaaa EXACTLY, here in the US its starting 2023, all these companies are praising the idea for its "intangible value" of a inperson workforce. Next year this video will be as relevant as ever. Work from home is coming to a slow end

You should turn this into a movie

OMG... So, you are still there as a hamster in the cage? (o.O)

Great riff 👍😂

Sounds like the summary of a Lemon Demon song

@@LobsterHaunting gay

As a student I've got so many glimpses of that. It's been hilarious... for me. On a deeper level, it showed me that teachers are as human as anybody else (they have conflicts too, etc.), even if some of them try to pass themselves as superior, be it because they think showing off authority is beneficial to students, or because they are frustrated. The best teachers I've had were humble and kind.

Exactly why I work in the private sector now. One boss and students. I find many teachers to be insufferable and addicted to conformity

@@francescoaiazzone They are human, but they need to be held to the highest standard. You can't teach kids if you aren't doing your best to deal with your own issues and don't let them see your bullshit. Keep it to yourself.

@@The_Gallowglass yup. I agree

Oh lawd yes!

Sounds like your coworker was probably plotting a murder. That’s what happens when a manager fails at the job. The underlings start watching him. Learning about him. Biding their time... Waiting for the perfect moment... To *strike!*

When a big one falls, four little ones move up

It is the machinery of life

Every office has these fucking stalker menopausal aunties! "I seen Chuck's truck drivin off at 11:40am". Stop alking everyone, you annoying aunty. You admin role and existence is damn meaningless.

I mean, that feels like tactically useful information if you want to be playing video games instead of working lol

It's like that everywhere.

@@JonatasAdoM I was in China about 15 yrs ago & an employee on a river cruise boat was saying you gotta know somebody to get ahead in China. I told him it's like that everywhere. 😕

I can relate to that

You find it comforting to know that others have suffered as you suffered? Is that, like, sado-empathy?

Here in South America is exactly the same. Small companies are the worst.

Hate you? You look like the perfect co-worker. lol

@@Yyyyzyyy I like how you said "come across" as in an unverified and never proven opinion and not an actual fact. People who make assumptions like that about others and judge them with unconfirmed alternative facts don't come across as insecure, needy, and intimidated. They are. And the right people love that. Not me. So it happens that the only people I get along with at work are confident, independent, and are open to new people and experiences without forcing or expecting conformity. They take what they know about me and use that to forge a decent work relationship and possibly even a good acquaintanceship or even friendship. That's not being virtuous. That's being honest and truly making the most of the human experience. If people do things they don't like just to appear a certain way, fake appeal, or seem decent, that's their decision and their life. But another part of being decent is reserving judgement until you verify how you feel is an actual reality and not just an opinion, particularly if no one has hurt you or ruined your life. Otherwise you are living in a cruel delusion, which only include your fragile feelings. This is a very childish thing. Fortunately for you, you are far from alone. So best of luck, and have a good life.

Can you come work with me lol

Would you like to become my coworker, Bizzy G?

- So, we and a couple of colleagues, we are considering organizing a... - Nope.

@Ren·ais·sance man 🤪 I been waiting for 8 years 8 God Dam years.

@@METALMAN4Wii how's Chad doing?

@@BananaJanta Not great after the divorce.

@@METALMAN4Wii i guess its been a long 8 years

@@METALMAN4Wii I heard he was having an affair with Susan. I mean did you see them at the last office Christmas party? Talk about drama am I right?

Some people are just worthless cogs

her working there 35 years is the problem. People get into a routine and forget how to learn or do anything else. Why do you think so many of the "I've been doing this for 30+ years" people are often the worst at their jobs and know very little about anything not related to their job at the same time? Watch literally any restaurant makeover show for all the proof you need. Damn near every single head chef is trash but has been doing their job for 30+ years.

@@TaddiestMason restaurant makeover shows are scripted garbage

@@bloodyhell8201 not always dude. A lot of Hell’s Kitchen is all real. Source: my dad was on a set.

The Onion having a time machine is the only explanation

I was looking for this comment!

Luka Raphael because that piece of shit, Obama was POTUS then

@@shebakali6 dude, our president is a dick atm, at least the previous one could be a bit more classy.

​@@shebakali6 This video was uploaded Jul 29, 2008 and Obama was elected Nov 2008. You're obviously an idiotic piece of shit LMAO

I wonder why KZfaq is pushing this clip again after so many years.

There was an actual study in 2019 that found office politics was one of the greatest barriers to young people getting promoted in the workplace

@@morbidsearch except op is referring to the fact that this video doesn’t really have anything to do with corporate/workplace culture - the onion was simply using it as a tool to mock the then-current state of actual politics and lack of political engagement from young voters, which still rings true today

@EricDutemple Well, it's been 11 years now...

Did you start an organization to overthrow the corporate world yet? I know quite a few people who would like to join you.

hopefully he didn't hang himself with his network cable =/

11 years go... how uh... how is your day?

Jolly123123123 he’s fine he’s a gamer

I think it was suppose to show that he was being excluded from what the others were doing but anyone from that generation or younger knows the truth.

Sounds amazing. My last office was the opposite of that ugh.

You are my hero

please don't be a hilary

That was hillaryous

* Pokémons

@@Cjnw how come most of our funding goes to big ass stadiums and gym battles rather than actual healthcare facilities and berry tree plantations?

I know, Biden’s been off the rails ever since he realized black people can be something other than democrat.

ikr? Like "oh yeah i TOTALLY wanna spend my free time meeting these guys and listen to the same bs that they keep rambling on every single day, in exchange for what? social approval? i don't even know these people!"

Office holiday party is on company time and dime for my job; wouldn't miss it for the world!

@@GODDAMNLETMEJOIN Ours was always some extravagant deal at some fancy hotel, after hours. So I never attended. I don't want to spend my time with coworkers at a work function

@@GODDAMNLETMEJOIN do you get paid lunches too?

Yeah it’s almost like it’s a joke, wouldn’t that be crazy

That is quite a thought that brings clarity to my thought process. Thanks for this observation! Have a great day! :D

Damn. That first sentence really hit home. SO true.

That's the exact distinction I was looking for.

Truth!

Dr Gregory House values truth. He's rational to a fault. That's why he's considered the best diagnostician at Princeton-Plainsboro

Still it makes it more hilarious in how much the oldies fail in respect they no longer know what is cool. :P

​@@ecos889 Nothing is cool. Just like all fashion trends they are later discovered to be retarded in reality.

@@AnalyticalReckoner "science is the only trend that never gets out of style♪"

Man I thought Tony Hawk and Justin Timberlake were still cool. Actually, Justin Timberlake was POPULAR back then, but he wasn't cool. At least I didn't think so. I like him more now. Not that I really care about him at all still.

@@PiousMoltar Timberlake was garbage and proven to be garbage even now.

I have a job where theres a weekly toolbox talk every friday morning. Most weeks its basically "we still work here? Doing the same thing we did all last week? Yep cool lets get to it"

Pratchett?

work smarter not harder

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Small minds Are confined to Narrow lines

If you're dead inside what's the point of being alive on the outside.

@@scottvelez3154 The status quo is comfortable.

No... it's that we were ever once alive to begin with.

@@hangukhiphop Technology has made life too fast, too easy, and too stagnant

Or maybe they have and they're just trying to drag your soul straight to hell with them...

al videos no, you clearly were the only person watching past the first three seconds, thanks for sharing that with us

cvnic haha guys look at me taking the piss out of an innocent question im so witty XDDDD

Looks like one of those sonic shitposts with very specific Arial font text

"making a new pot of coffee when it's empty is ToTaLLy GnArLy"

Indeed they are, and yet they are still used today, the only difference being they somehow found a way to make them even worse for today's audience.

republicans riding around in a bus with xbox's sounds like a political cartoon, but it actually happened.

@@olbradley “V O T E Flex your right… vote, vote, flex your right”

Back then that was considered absurd. Just like microtransactions, safe spaces, and being imprisoned over jokes. We have really gone backwards as a society...

@@charleslindeman2169 F

damnit it's sad when satire becomes real. what else from idiocracy will become a reality besides....huh i just realized that they had an awesome black president before u.s actually did

@@charleslindeman2169 back then people didnt freak out about "safe spaces". It was always normal for people to want to be safe and to have rules of decorum in private spaces. Before the internet, the idea of busting into a private meeting and shouting slurs was the absurd thing, not the fear that if you did so you'd be kicked out.

@@KaelWrit Bless you for saying so.

Idk. since you're an introvert, you would probably be oblivious to the bulk of the dumb office politics anyways. I know I am... I keep to myself, get solid performance reviews, and don't need to deal with all the petty bs that my extroverted colleagues deal with. Ha.

“I’m aN iNdePendaNT inTroVeRt!” -everyone in the world ever.

@@paulthomas4908 "everyone in the world" non independent introverts and extroverts: extroverts alone outnumber us like 2/3 to 1 it feels like. So idk why you think everybody is an introvert lol. Let alone a competent introvert, such as myself. *flexes*

So why do you guys do for work then @Ade @theacp127

@@josephselwan1652 I'm a software developer now and used to work as an optical fiber technician.

Seems like the emos were right everything does suck And you all just laughed at them. Who's laughing now? No one, not even the emos, that's because they never laugh.

@@scottvelez3154 Where did I put my black lipstick and eyeliner, its time to bring the phase back.

What is "quiet quitting"?

@@Jehty_ it’s the quitation of one’s job without actually quitting. It’s where one does the absolute minimum in their job, only doing what’s absolutely necessary and putting in no more time, effort or enthusiasm than us absolutely necessary. And I mean absolutely necessary… like the minimum of what can be done.

@@phylk4683 isn't that just "working"?

@@Jehty_ 😏 so how long have you been quite quitting ma’lord? 😆

@Regulus not really. I've been doing that long before 2022.

@Jimmy Strudel drugs Rock n roll Death Saving up, quitting, selling all belongings except for some small stuff and going on the run

@Jimmy Strudel yes and buying beautiful Fender Strats to play some Iron Maiden covers is part of that answer imo

This also applies to blue collar jobs

He wasnt that thirsty anyway...

It's not weird because they want to hide the competition.

They just don't want to admit that skits done 10+ years ago are still more relevant than what they do currently.

@@ninetailedfox579121 Facts

What are they supposed to do? Be like “I know you guys think I’m funny but here’s something funnier?” Like what lol

@@brianmidkiff5408 "Good to see everyone here tonight, were you all too broke to buy tickets to Dave Chappelle opening across town? That's...obviously going to be a better show than mine. In fact, anyone whose standards don't fall between early 90's Ellen and Carrottop should probably leave right now."

I agree. With one or two exceptions I can look back on my elementary school peers and see how some were destined to be aholes

Fuck off, Grammar school is great

@@PwnZombie He said "manifested itself by Grammar School", as in around that age, not "is manifested by Grammar School", that Grammar School itself causes people to become assholes. Asshole.

Speaking of Asskissers I was denied a Supervisor promotion because of one. And two complained about not getting weekends off and got promoted as a Trainer which has weekends off and pissed a lot of people off.

@@etekweb I was in an office setting for two years (intern), I can safely say regardless of the length of time I intended to stay the politics grow more apparent as you interact with people. I half love the idea of working in an office but, as you said, it isn't a career unless you're moving up to a better position-- to live perpetually a cog, unchanging and unaffected by the stagnation, while others rise up or leave to pursue their passions isn't something to be proud of (I am absolutely judging the people who accept this fate, though at the same time I acknowledge the security that sort of stability brings some). I wouldn't mind another stint in an office but I'd make it a game from the get-go, see how many I can trample on my way up the ladder while leaving people generally ambivalent about whether I'm a threat or an asset to them. Psychological warfare is fun and honestly in such a setting it's the only stable sort of mental stimulation you can count on, those places reek of mindnumbing tedium.

Ayy 2004 gang

good to hear zoomers are checking out Onion, maybe the future isn't so bleak after all

@@vansdan. yeah but MOST Zoomers do default dances in public and the rest, well they hate most zoomers, zoomers might start a civil war over Fortnite.

Don't forget the Broccoli! :)

and cabbage