Here’s some other suggestions I have 1- leave in conditioner. Normally put this in right after you shower and it’s meant to not be washed out 2- buy smooth pillow covers/bonnets. They’re specifically designed to not allow tangles 3- please be aware that some hair isn’t meant to be brushed, namely curly hair! Please learn how to work with different hair textures because brushing curly hair can make it MORE knotty 4- hold the hair at the base. This makes it hurt WAY less, since it’s not tugging on the scalp! Thank you for making this content. Kids deserve autonomy and these videos are just so comforting

You are amazing! Thank you for being so sensitive to this! I am an adult and still have serious trauma around this from my very abusive mother. So thank you. You are saving lives and helping kiddos move forward. ❤

I would give 50 years of my life for my mom to be this gentle for a few minutes.

I have sensory disorders and very long and curly tangley hair. I was the only kid of six siblings with curls. My mom had no idea how to take care of it and never bothered to learn. She would rip thru my dry hair with bristle brushes, breaking it, tearing my scalp up taking out chunks. And if i moved too much she would yank harder to jerk my neck back. Tell me to hold the counter while she pulled. Got round brushes stuck in my bangs and cut it so short i got bullied in school. Eventually we went to a salon for a trim when i was about ten years old, and when my mom walked away i begged the lady to chop it all. And she did. And i started taking care of it myself from then on. Needless to say, i suffered lots of abuse growing up, and one of the forms of it centered on my hair. I am in my late twenties now and have had a journey with my hair. I also have stress alopecia so i often have clumps come out, bald spots, constant frizzy regrowth. Videos like this are so effing healing, to know people will treat children like sentient individuals with choice and input. Makes me cry, healing tears. I cherish my hair now. I tend to it and its my favorite part of self care. Ive grown it back out to waist length, in my natural color (my mother forced me to bleach it). It has been an incredible process ,🫶🏻💕 sending hugs and love to those that need it xoxo

I'm not a hair stylist, but I would love to open a salon working with kids with trauma surrounding hair. My mom, who had a lot of mental health "stuff" had zero attunement when it came to doing my hair. She would just pull and rip her way through my tangles. As a 4 or 5 year old I would show her how to do it, and it was completely lost on her. I had/have wavy/curly hair, so it takes specific techniques. I'm fascinated by the vast diversity in hair type, so I've educated myself about different hair types, so I would love to just teach moms how to comb through their kid's hair without inducing trauma.

Thank you for being such a kind human. My mom used to rip the hairbrush through my hair then hit me with the brush whenever I cried. I remember my elementary school principal combing out all the knots some mornings. Now in my 40s I haven't seen my mother in 20 years but have beautiful long hair:)

It makes me sad that there are so many children traumaized by 'normal' things I take for granted. Being traumatized over hair brushed breaks my heart. I loved when people brushed my hair as a child. Its one of those fond memories. To read the comments of so many adults that suffered through that abuse, my heart goes out to all of you.

As an autistic person that struggled horribly with this as a child, here is some more advice: If hair is matted, it is extremely painful to detangle. Adding conditioner to the dry hair and using a styling brush to slowly get hair out one layer at a time makes it much less painful and upsetting. It is a slow process and still doesn’t feel great, so distractions are key. Never shame them for their hair ending up tangled or matted; and never use it as leverage do try and push or force them to cut their hair shorter. Lots of kids are really ashamed of their hair matting, so kind help and support is worth its weight in gold. For long hair that they could be struggling to take care of, gently brushing through and then braiding the hair before bed will prevent it from tangling during the night. For less painful brushing, I have found brushing hair while still in the shower with conditioner still in is helps. The best brush to use for this is called a wetbrush, which was specifically designed to make brushing wet hair easier. You are going to go through a to go through a ton of conditioner on heavily tangled hair. Using one with their favorite scent makes it far less overwhelming. Shampoos and conditioners that hydrate hair tend to make easily-tangled hair less likely to tangle. Giving kids pictures showing each step helps. They can’t see what you are doing otherwise. A list of hairstyles (with pictures) that they like may make choices easier and give them autonomy when they struggle to describe what they need. Some hair ties hurt more than other in certain types of hair. It may take some trial and error to find what works best for them. Letting them choose what color of hair tie, what kind of scrunchy, what kind of ribbon, the brush you use, etc, can make the process less scary and more fun at the same time. Sometimes modeling each step on yourself or letting the kid do your hair while you are doing theirs (it might end up a tangled mess and will probably hurt a bit, fair warning) can turn something really scary into something really fun. This also works with brushing the hair of their favorite toy or comfort object, even if it may not actually have hair to brush. When in doubt, ask. Sometimes kids, particularly autistic ones, struggle to articulate what they need on their own. Asking gentle questions and giving them time to communicate what upsets them and what they need at that second can help a ton. Sometimes, the best you can do on a day is nothing at all, at least not right at that second. It is just as comforting to help a kid “hide” tangled hair they are self-conscious about in a way they are comfortable with and set a time with them to help them fix it later when they are emotionally ready and their sensory system is less mad as it would be to fix it right then and there or insist on doing so. I personally found pretending to be a secret spy on a mission that needed to keep my hood up to hide my identity to be very effective. It also makes something they are self-conscious about into a game instead. Hair at the base of the neck tangles WAY faster than the rest and can be painful to brush, so adding some additional conditioner there can make hair care easier. Inform yourself about different hair textures, lengths and thicknesses. Every child’s hair is different, and some types of hair respond better to different products than you may not already have in your home or be used to using. Some kids don’t like the way hairbrushes sound. Music can make that easier for them. Speaking from childhood experience, this hair ties with the plastic or glass balls on the end that hit each other when you shake your head are extremely fun to play with, and that tends to remove stress from the process. Hair is tricky for kids with sensory issues or trauma associated with it: it can get frustrating at times for both them and you, and modeling calming techniques and kind, affirming, understanding and soothing hair care can help those kids out a ton.

Starting from the bottom helps too! Always start with the very ends of the hair and make your way up :)

_When Marnie Was There_ has a scene where the abusive nanny harshly brushed Marnie's hair _as a punishment._ The book describes this very clearly. It was there in the movie, but wasn't quite as clear that she tangled the hair then brushed it so it hurt.

I love that you mention the preferred parent. As a teacher in a teaching team of three, sometimes one teacher is more successful than another for whatever reason with a child, and it's perfectly okay to tag team. I'm never offended if a child wants a different teacher to help with a problem instead of me.

I was one of these kids and was afraid of hair brushing for a long time. I don’t have autism or anything but my mum was abusive growing up and would rip out my hair with a brush in the morning and she would “cut” my nails by ripping them out. She was drunk most the time so I don’t think she ever understood how rough she was. Anyway she is dead now and I have amazing hair and nails.

From a curly girl that has had depression matting: brushing hair *while* it's wet and utterly slathered in conditioner can really help gently detangle curly hair.

This is great for any parent or even hair dressers. I have a serious phobia of people touching my hair, due to bad experiences with cousins wanting to play with my very long hair and ruining it, plus a couple really bad hairdresser interactions when I got a little older, and the fact that many total strangers see my long hair and think they can and should touch it. I didn't let anyone cut or style my hair for over eighteen years. I did my own coloring and styling and it got to be well over three feet long before I worked up the nerve to discuss my phobia with a hairdresser and see if she would work with me. She was lovely about it, thankfully. However, a forty year old woman should not have a panic attack at every hair appointment, and I still do. Thank you for showing how to hopefully help heal hair trauma issues early, so these children don't end up like me. It matters so much.

My mum was terrible at brushing my thick long hair. She always started at the top! I’m so, so gentle with my niece now and I start at the bottom and work my way up. I hold the hair at the top if there’s a knot so I don’t hurt her. She requests me to do her hair instead of her mum and dad whenever I’m there😊

You'd be surprised how much this kind of approach to self care/maintenance also applies to ADLs for seniors, both with and without dementia.

My grandma and my mom brushed my hair so roughly it left me with uneven patches on my scalp that were thin for years. When I got older, my aunt gave me one of those soft bristle bamboo brushes and I refused to let anyone brush my hair with anything else. Even though my head is less sensitive now, I still hate harsh hard bristle brushes. Trauma responses are the body trying to protect itself. If an event brings a lot of pain, whither its psychological or physical, it can become a big issue later in life. Even hair brushing can cause a negative reaction. It's great that this woman takes so much time to understand and accommodate these kids. I wish my brother was put under her care and not the whackjobs that he was with.

Especially if your kiddo has wavy or curly hair, a brush isn't always the best detangling tool. A wide tooth comb is frequently a better option to help focus on one tangle at a time while not creating frizz, leading to more tangles.

I'm just always so impressed and relieved that there's a person out there that can give a child a safe environment. I'm too broken to raise a kid. Your videos are just a beacon of hope for me. To know that some kids, somewhere, are actually being cared for and may not have to grow up with issues like me is comforting. The scalp is such a tender part of the body, and problems with your hair are just out for everyone to see. I'm a whole, grown woman who has most of my hair shaved off because hair care was so triggering. People are like "oh you're so cool with that mohawk!" and I return some pleasantry. I do like my hair now. But on a bad day internally I'm just like "haha my parents never taught me how to brush it, but would yell at me to brush it, and then rip chunks out of it with a brush while I sobbed. No hair for me!" All in my head of course. Not gonna trauma dump on a stranger, I save that for youtube comments. I can't even escape hair trauma with less hair as an adult either. I'm in a huge funk right now because the woman I went to for 20 years for my hair isn't answering her texts and I just tried a barber shop for the first time. I was feeling nervous but super excited because I thought I'd be able to finally get the sides done with a straight razor (go to the person I usually do because I trust her to not mess it up, but I've always wanted skin smooth on the sides instead of clippers). I don't trust easily and I was anxious about going to a new person. But this is a professional, I'm paying for a service, those fears are not completely founded in reality, right? Ha. Called ahead to make sure they could do it/were willing to and they said yes. Said what I wanted in the chair, guy messed up the hair that shouldn't be shaved off and just didn't use the straight razor. He started with the clippers and I was just thinking he was getting the bulk off because it had grown out quite a bit. Then just started getting more aggressive and I realized he had just decided to not even do what I asked. Did whatever he wanted basically. I froze at that point and just waited for it to be over. It kinda hurt too. Would have probably been faster and more comfortable for me if he'd just done it with the straight razor. It's wearable, and the person my partner got that the same shop gave him a great cut so I paid and didn't say anything so I wouldn't burn that bridge for him. Also I was just in shock. I'd felt so brave and optimistic trying something new and he just casually twisted the knife in an old wound I'd mostly forgotten about. To my partners credit, he doesn't want to go back there anyway and we've decided to just keep testing new barbers together. Now I have to meet ANOTHER new person in a couple of weeks and deal with months of an awkward grow out phase to fix the width that the last guy cut off. If the new person doesn't mess it up more. I'd feel more comfortable with another woman but the only female barber within 2 hours works at the same shop I went to and her chair is right next to the guy that tried to scalp me.

something to add- hair spray bottles! some kids may be averse to being spritzed due to past trauma and/or sensory issues. They make misting bottles that are much gentler and don’t spray harshly!

I DID NOT KNOW TRAUMA SURROUNDING HAIR WAS THIS COMMON. My mom used to tear the dry brush through my curly, frizzy hair, scream at me, pinch me, call me a baby, and hit me if I cried. It took a long time after I decided to cut it short for me to even let my hair grow long enough to tangle.

Thank you for this. My mother would cut or threaten to cut my hair if she saw me walking in the kitchen without a hair tie. She also managed to break several unbreakable combs on my head. This was comforting to watch.

I have a 6yo grandson, who I love to the ends of the earth, and he is on the spectrum and easily triggered. You have such great empathy and it's helping me to better understand my boy ❤

I am 50 years old and remember the pain and trauma of long hair and unknown products. I was provided conditioner but not told to rinse it out, which was then a source of ridicule when I left it in. I was provided a small round brush which got tightly caught in my long hair resulting is a mullet cut. I wanted to please, but I was 6 and didn’t know the rules. Thank you for the explanation and soft landing!

yes! especially for black children with coarse hair. im very tenderheaded and have trauma with cryinh through getting my hair done. doing hair shouldnt hurt or be unbearable

Why are these videos so soothing? I was never in the foster system, never had hair issues. All your vids are so soothing like you’re parenting my inner child

I once had very matted hair because I didn't brush my hair for a whole vacation. I used a quarter of a bottle of conditioner and a shower comb. It took forever, but it worked beautifully.

You're healing trauma I didn't even know I had. With every. Single. Video You are incredible

As someone with autism I hate the feeling of tangles but I have curly hair, so this would’ve been so comforting for me as a kid

I hated brushes and combs for years because they always hurt, I used to scream and cry when it was time to do my hair every morning. I started using a wide toothed comb in my teens and loved it, no more pain. But recently I found a brush with the prongs like a quarter inch away from each other and oh my god, it is amazing. I have recently tried combs and brushes for medium hair and they still hurt. But these wide ones? No pain at all.

Even though I don’t plan on having kids, watching this heals my inner child. I want to be as kind and as patient as you!

I have no clue how your videos came across my feed. I’ve never searched foster care and have never thought about it. However, after watching some of your videos, I’m really able to better appreciate some of the trauma and situations these poor kids have been through. God bless you.

Not a foster child, but i did have sensory issues as a child where hair cuts were difficult for all involved. Your empathy is truly remarkable.

Oh Laura thank you for sharing this, am a grown Trauma Child who also had curly hair. Sensory nightmare! It has only been in adulthood when I learned to care for my hair with loving soothing touch rather than pushing through it with all force, it is such a diffrence to start my day with the feeling of being pampered rather with the feeling of flashbacks, emotional overload and even pain (especially when I had rough times, my hair would be tangled up), I can just imagine how helpful it is for children to be able to transition from stressful experience to a better more soothing experience.

Choices are so important. I had long hair as a kid because "I" really wanted it. My hair would get so tangled because my conditioner usage was restricted because I was accused of pouring it down the drain. No, I just had hair to my butt and needed a lot. A lot of thick long hair needs a lot of conditioner. But no, I would have tangles and get my head yanked on while being told if I took better care of my hair this wouldn't happen. Yeah, so let me take care of it!! It got a lot better when I started brushing myself and using as much conditioner as I actually needed. Cause, shocker, expecting one bottle of conditioner to last two people (I shared with my sister) six months of daily showers is crazy. Even now with short hair a bottle of conditioner lasts my partner and I about 6 months, and combined we have maybe 25% the amount of hair my sister had at the time, and she had 25% of what I had. So for 6.25% of the hair the bottle lasted as long as my mother wanted.

My cousin never went into foster care (even though she definitely should have, She came from THAT side of the family if you know, you know) She had a really hard time going to the salon when she first got out and getting her hair trimmed because it felt like she was getting in trouble! (Her evil step mother use to cut her hair as punishment, Sick phyco lady 😤) She's doing well now many years after she took off She has a husband She and him just bought their first house! 🎉 She gets her hair dyed regularly She makes it to any family event she can (my little cousin freaking loves her) She has multiple cats and a stable job She came back to our family She survived With little contact and little help from our family (we were closed off) She survived You can too! It does get better❤

Silk caps are a game changer, I'm not sure if they make any for children but I lost mine some time ago and I miss it so much. I could go days without brushing and for some hair types (mine included) brusing everyday doesn't make it look the best. It would also help prevent alot of the tangles and matting I would have otherwise experienced, because it was a time in my life where I went long periods without a shower. Oils are also a game changer. If you oil your hair before conditioning it it'll soften hair 10x more. I've also noticed that if my hair is tangling alot more than normal- it's because my ends are split and I need a hair cut, and with the cap my hair didn't seem to split nearly as much. I hope these tips help at least somebody because it took me 18 years of being on this earth to learn how to take care of my wavy hair ♥

ngl this made me tear up. I’m the only one in my family besides my dad with INCREDIBLY curly hair, and as a kid it would get incredibly tangled (yk from playing and running around and being a kid) but bc nobody knew how to take care of my hair they would brush it REALLY REALLY HARD and yell at me for crying or being upset. All this on top of the fact I’m autistic and deal with sensory issues was just a huge scary mess. Seeing someone be so gentle abt hair care honestly just brings a tear to my eye because people don’t realize how big of a trigger or sensory issue it can be especially for children and ESPECIALLY for children with textured hair.

wow I love these videos so much, this is something I wouldn’t of even considered! So terrible what these kids must go through :(. I’m not a foster parent but one day when I have the time and resources to do so I’d love to try and change lives for the better, and you make me feel so much more confident in that idea

Taking a wide tooth comb through the hair when the conditioner is in is really helpful in preventing tangles and makes brushing after the shower much easier

I had a foster kid come into my home with hair so matted, we thought we would have to shave her head. Luckily, I was able to find a stylist with a lot of skill in her hair type, and she was able to detangler, blow dry and style. This child has a very tender head, but as much as she would fuss for me, she was very good with the stylist doing it in another setting. Finding a stylist that is patient and understands hair type different from our own is a really good place to start, if you have a kid with vastly different typed hair.❤

I've been watching your videos for a while. I'm not a foster parent and I've actually never even been remotely close to anything relating to fostering kids (nor do I even know anybody that had foster parents). Not sure why your vids popped up in my feed one day, they just did. I watch them because I think your tips are incredibly useful as you basically show how to deal with conflict in a broader sense. I think you show how to communicate, be patient and how to think outside of the box so, so well and I think those skills are applicable to so many situations that I find your content extremely helpful. However, I now have an almost one year old boy and somehow your videos just hit differently. While I still find your videos incredibly useful and helpful (I'm sure one day he won't want me to brush his hair for whatever reason and I'll for sure use some tips from this video), I now feel an added layer of emotion when I watch your videos. I can't imagine having to explain to my kid that I won't hurt him or cut his hair without his consent. It's extremely heartbreaking, but so worthwhile that you show the world what being a foster parent can be like. I guess this is a long, roundabout way of saying thank you and keep up the great work.

Your gentle and kind manner is so comforting. Thank you for modeling for parents of all flavors how to treat children.

My 17 year old daughter has executive functioning challenges, and does not like brushing her hair out except after bathing, and I can only get her to bath, not shower, every 3 or 4 days or so. So although she sometimes feels self conscious when it is badly knotted, I try not to make a big deal about it. The options you offered are all excellent, but even those sometimes just don't work. I consider it a win if we have a couple good hair days, even if it's followed by a couple not great hair days.

Laura can I just say to how I wish you were my foster mom while I was in foster care! I am 51 yrs old and I was an abused child and put into Foster care, my experience was so bad I still get triggered today! I ran away so many times because of the abuse I also suffered at the hands of my foster parents. Mushroom flavor Ramen noodles every day for lunch and dinner while they ate regular meals! I could only shower 1x a week and I slept on a fold out bed with blood stains on it from deer season🤷‍♀️ don't understand what deer season had to do with all the blood but it was so gross! The other foster kid that was there was suffering with ring worm! I ended up running away for good from there. Laura you are a wonderful woman who truly loves your kids who you lovingly foster❤❤❤

My 5yo has sensory issues around hair and I've worked with her on it - letting her do as much herself as possible (brushing, washing, etc) - cutting it myself so that she doesn't have to go to a strange salon environment (we're working on that) - keeping it short so it doesn't get matted (Bob length) - watching a kids show to distract while I brush/cut

As a kid, my dad liked helping me brush out my hair after bath/shower. I _do_ understand that that is not something everyone experienced. But. Even with lots of conditioner and detangler spray, it hurt. I started wanting to only it myself bc it hurt less, though I know it made him a touch sad that I didn't want help. I get that some of these kids need the help to get through it, but for some, it may help to focus on teaching them to do it. Oh, and always start at the ends!

Not in the foster care system but I’m pretty sure I have triggers around this stuff so thank you :)

I love your content and just want to add a tip for long hair. After shampooing, use a lot of conditioner and comb it through with a large toothed comb before and while rinsing it out. This gets most all tangles out. Thank you! ❤

Laura, I love your content! You present so much information that many of us would never consider. I also appreciate the commenters who share additional helpful information. This is a beautiful community. ❤

Also remember to brush starting at the ends! Meaning that you brush out the tangles at the tips of the hair and slowly move up, maybe 2 inches at a time--starting from the top of the head will turn tangles into knots and knots into mats because you are tightening and compressing the hair by brushing it and making the problem worse. (Even the best intentioned and kindest parent can make this mistake, which makes haircare all the more difficult) I wonder if presenting brushing and using the method above as "I'm doing this a different way than what you've possibly had before" would help.

I absolutely HATED washing and drying my hair as a kid because my mom was really rough handed and often yanked on knots or burned me accidentally while drying it. Now I'm the one doing her hair every week and I make sure I give her the most relaxing salon experience every time as a sort of reverse revenge, because I know she really cared about me and I really appreciate the time we spent together. But I can see how it could be an extremely traumatic experience for a kid if their parents just didn't give a shit or even used their hair to hurt them purposely. It's great to take it into consideration, I don't think most foster parents would imagine that hair care could be an issue

Compassion soothes my inner child.

Im not a foster kid but your videos are giving me nostalgia and i dont even know from what😭

You are such a treasure. Thank you. I wanted to try and express how comforting your videos are, but it's complicated...I'm not even a foster child at all. Still, I don't know, the way you show how to treat children in need of care and respect soothes so much pain from my childhood I didn't even fully know I had.

Love this! Wide tooth combs and combing in the shower with the conditioner still in are also so important for curly hair! And whatever you do, if it’s curly… do not brush it while it’s dry. Ever.

I didn’t know much about hair trauma before this. Thank you for sharing your insights

Definitely worth investing in the unbrush! Its is an amazing brush!!!

I know this all examples of scenarios without a child there, but it makes me tearful just watching.

I find these videos so comforting. I needed some foster care when I was younger. Thank you Laura! Sometimes tangled hair hurts a bit getting out.

these video make me want to be a foster parent so deeply

"really just use a bunch.... It's okay" THAT SENTENCE ALONE 😭 using foster homes products was I always remember as so anxiety provoking, the small reminders that "hey it's okay to use our stuff, what's ours is yours!" and " you can use as much as we do!" or not even reacting at how much or little is being used at first is honestly such an anxiety reliever.

Thank you so much. There’s nothing like having your hair snatched and then being teased because people who didn’t know what they were doing said it was nappy. I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to see the beauty in my curly hair and teach my daughter to love her curls too. Thanks so much for posting this, we all need it ❤

You are so considerate. We can all learn from you, for every situation in our lives ❤ Thank you, Laura, for showing why - and how - being thoughtful of others benefits everyone.

I read the proper way to brush hair is you start at the ends and work your way up.

I love how understanding you are about these things!

Ur a blessing to kids ❤🙏❤️

Love you lady, keep it up. Explaining how to use conditioner would not have occurred to me but absolutely makes sense to someone whose hair is a mess because they never had access to it

Oh, I’m so happy your channel was recommended to me! I’m not a foster parent, but I work as a para with special needs children. I’m responsible (along with the other paras) for many daily tasks, including grooming, toileting, eating, etc. I know your videos are going to be a huge help for me! I will be sharing with my coworkers, too. Thanks for showing the world what compassion, empathy, and care look like. ❤

Also dry brushing before the shower / hair washing really helps. There are so many things to consider with the kids. So happy you are helping guide people to better lives.❤

I was so glad my Mom tried not to make it hurt. She had a friend who wasn't so gentle, who said it made her daughter's scalp "tough". Poor girl! Now as an adult I've learned I have sensory sensitivities, so it would have been very, very distressing for me. Eventually my Mom let me brush my own hair, and I figured out how to do it. So glad for my Mom!

Don't forget COMBS as an option as well. Hairbrushes could have been used for "discipline" or other possible horrible acts that can be a huge trigger. 😢

Laura, you are such a wonderful, kind and thoughtful person and have taught me so much with your channel.

You are such an Angel of a woman and really make me tear up with how compassionate and caring you are 😭❤️.

As someone with easily tangled hair, I *never* dry brush my hair anymore or use those kinds of brushes you showed in the video. I gradually brush the conditioner through my wet hair using a detangling hair brush that's designed to be used on wet hair. The best brush I've found so far is Brush Up, which also has a button on the back that pushes the base up to make it easier to remove hair. If I have a particularly knotty section, then I'll add extra conditioner as I'm brushing and sometimes a little more water if my hair is drying out. Just work each section at a time, starting with the ends and don't rush it. I have vivid memories of the pain of my mum trying to dry brush my hair, despite her using detangling spray. This mostly resulted in me avoiding having my hair brushed and therefore making it worse when it was brushed. Hopefully these tips are helpful to avoid someone else going through the same pain.

It’s very healing watching your videos

Show sheen spray for horses is also a really good detangler, and just slowly work out the knots with your fingers.

You are a wonderful person. For any carers; A "Lady Jane" or "Mason Pearson" hair brush, for people over 3 years old. Hold hair firmly at the scalp, in one hand, like a pony tail, then brush hair from the ends first, then mids to ends for a while, then gently from top of scalp to ends of the hair. Help little children in the bathtub with shampooing, rinsing, then conditioner on the ends. Prior to this, detangle the long hair with a good hair brush first. Use a large detangling comb through the wet hair when it has conditioner in it. Blow dry your child's hair with a hair dryer and radial bristle brush, to ensure less dead skin is left on their scalp, and makes the hair look gorgeous. On European hair, not African hair. Children under 18 years old need a lot of support with hair grooming. Great post here. Princess Holly of Australia, hairdresser 🕊🌿🌳🌲🍀🌴🍃🌱

The ending made me cry omg! You are so mindful 🙏 the kids in your care are so lucky to have y’all!!

This is especially helpful for parents fostering children of another ethnicity whose hair texture may b completely different from what they've interacted with before. I have been traumatized by professionals who don't understand kinky hair and think a brush is going to "fix" it. Always take the child's perspective into account and using the mirror so they can see what you're doing is a wonderful idea

The way you approach this is helpful for so much more than just kids in foster care!

It's so heartbreaking to read some of these comments. Thank you so much for sharing these videos. You are an amazing human being!

This is great. I'm a teacher and I want to help a girl in my class. I'm guessing it's sensory because her sisters seem okay

Hey Laura I watch your videos for a while now and I find you a gem. You're so patient. Since I sell glasses for a living i figured you may find this a helpful tip. One thing I noticed you have very nice and friendly light tones in your face: blond hair, light eyes, light skin tone. A lighter coloured and slightly smaller pair of glasses will bring the attention more to your face and make you even look friendlier.

Your explanations are very soothing.😇

You can use pure peppermint oil on plastic hairties instead of scissors. One drop right on it and it breaks off. Bonus: my mom discovered it doubles as bug repellent while outside. Especially for the big green beatles, they love moms conditioner but apparently hate peppermint 😎

I don't think I'll ever be a foster parent, but these are also great steps for any kid. My oldest is autistic and these would or could be good questions to ask if or when she has difficulty with her hair.

Thank you so much for your videos! I have thin, straight, tangly hair. My mum says to gently brush my hair with a comb instead of a brush (this obviously depends on what type of hair you have) but I still brush my hair harshly which leaves me frustrated and my scalp hurting a bit. I love how you offered different options of combs and brushes! Hair can be difficult to deal with sometimes, especially with children. You have shown love and affection towards your child and have shown others how to deal with hair. This video has made I and millions of other’s people’s day. ❤ New sub btw. For those who grew up in a abusive family or have disorders, etc, I hope you have healed from what traumatic experiences you have experienced. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. I feel really sorry that you have gone through all this and I hope nothing bad happens to you again. ❤

The love coming through on this video ❤

Another awesome vid. Thanks for your knowledge and compassion.

For some reason this video unlocked childhood core memories for me, about my dad doing my hair for school.

This is great, informative content, thank you for sharing. Even though it’s not information I foresee needing any time soon, I’ve always been big on trauma-informed care ever since I learned about it years ago, & I used to work in adoptions so I can picture how this would be really helpful info for foster & adoptive parents.

This is wonderful, thank you for sharing!

As someone who gets insanely triggered by hair stuff, you are such a good person. Thank u

Also, for anyone who has to detangle super tangled hair, remember to start with a wide toothed comb and start at the bottom. Comb the bottom 3-4 inches, then comb the bottom 6-8 inches, and repeat until you get to the top. Then repeat the entire process with a finer comb. Feel free to section the hair in half or in thirds if needed.

I remember going to a hair stylist for my sister's wedding. It was my first experience at a professional hair setting, I had never had my hair cut (age 6) and I really struggled with knotted hair (autism-sensory overload). It was hell. Hours and hours of tugging, brushing, spraying, blow drying and the stylist had long af talon nails which she kept roughly dragging over my scalp

Growing up I hated my hair being done and would fight my poor mom tooth and nail to the point she had to just put it in a ponytail, it would always get matted because I have curly hair and knots turn to matting real quick. I am 26 now and still deal with letting my hair go for too long (sometimes weeks, usually due to mental health, sensory issues, and or dysfunction from adhd ASD and depression etc) before I have to sit down for like an hour with detangler and my brush, then I have the audacity to complain to my husband about it when he's the one always trying to remind me to do my darn hair. I have been doing a lot better lately but yeah hair is a frustrating thing and I remember how painful and stressful it was when I was a kid but I can never compare to some of the things I have heard. My husband and I wanna be foster parents one day. Thank you for making these videos, they are encouraging and insightful.

This is so beyond lovely ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love watching your videos. It’s so informative, and educational. TY

A wide toothed comb used when conditioner is in their hair, in the shower or bath can really help. I still do this sometimes.