A narcissist will only see what they want to see. Whether it is real or not. I want perspective to see more than what I focus on.

The narc talks to my dog like he talks to me. If people who think they are the salt of the earth could see them at home with the mask off !! The manipulation starts as soon as he walks through the door along with the narc glare!!!

I've been involved in reactive abuse. They look for buttons to press and when it doesn't work they look for different buttons. Not any more!!!

He tried so hard to get a reaction out of me but I would never stoop to his level.

What helped me so much was to pick up the phone and call an extended family member who had for so long treated me unfairly. I was “outward focused” but to at least hear myself for once say how I felt, it made a difference. Even if this individual only met what I said in kind of a lukewarm way.

Witnessing what eludes the narcissist unveils a profound insight into the stark dissonance between their curated image and concealed insecurities. This heightened perception allows one to navigate the relationship with an enlightened understanding, transcending the illusions woven by the narcissist. In discerning their hidden motives and vulnerabilities, a deeper narrative emerges, empowering an individual to navigate the complexities with astuteness.

After you wake up to narcissism and go no contact with the narcissist is when you start to get your greatest clarity on the situation. That's why it can take many years to heal because you can be really upset at how you were treated. It takes time to heal too from years of abuse.

I have noticed when a narcissist tries to cast blame they make absolutely no sense at all. I was in a 4 year relationship with a covert religious narcissist and he thought he was the only one who believed in God.

As a grandmother (mother has custody of 7 year old and 4 year old) I'm searching for tips to help the children process the selfish, controlling emotional patterns; father has limited custody due to working but takes children to horses, fishing, outdoors, etc and shows them love whenever together.

It's so sweet how you talk about your bond with Gus 💕 My dog is also a rescue (she was 1 year old when I adopted her and will turn 16 years in June), and she loves listening to your podcasts but prefers watching Gus in the KZfaq Videos 😉 Thanks again for another very interesting session 🌸

Thank you Dr C for being with us in team healthy as we navigate the world we find ourselves in - one that's increasingly evident as being controlled by the same people you discuss here with us. Once we see we can no longer unsee or be blinded by the gaslighting and manipulation. We need to gain strength to stand up for what is right, honest and good. Together, team healthy, we are stronger.

Thank you Dr C for your continuing guidance through a difficult process. Thank you for the validation I couldn't find in my circle.

Thank you so much for all of your teachings. In many ways they have set me more at ease...however I can see the Narcissism in myself and I hate it. I have began to see it so plainly in our family relationships, I've never been able to see what has been occurring while I've been absorbing guilt and often been shamed. I've shared your teachings with others as well. There are so many hurt people out there. This should be taught in high school, think of how many lives would be better if it were taught. Thanks a million!

Mom, classic passive aggressive narcissist, did use depression as one of her tools to obtain attention. Eyeore indeed. Too depressed to take care of herself, hey, YOU do it, 'you' being whoever looked like they possibly could fall for that. Including strangers. The rage was just under that, as her resentment grew, over not getting what she wanted. This did not make her more pleasant.

I have noticed when a narcissist has no clue what I am talking about and can’t get the meaning of what I am saying, their eyes look like they are looking right through me and they stare at me saying nothing like there’s an empty space in their mind.

I think that some of the best advice that you have given, for me, are these; Always expect everything coming out of a narcs mouth is going to be self serving, consider the source when it comes to their opinions, never expect logic to come from them, disconnect, always expect lies from them, brace yourself before you speak with them bc" here comes the ridiculousness". There are many more but these perspectives are working great for me. Thank you so so much.

WOW, I would NEVER have guessed “70.” Incredible! 👏🎉

My covert mother always had a dog and trained and looked after them well. She walked the dog every day and they were all good dogs through the years. Dogs adore their owner and never argue back. They lavish their love on you and hold no grudges. They show their excitement and prompt compliments from others. She told many stories about what the dog had been thinking and what he'd done and no dog ever said, "Wait, that's not true!" unlike me, her daughter. That could be why she enjoyed her dogs' company more and said nice things about them 😆

@Dr.Carter. You are a blessing to so many. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, your experience and your heart with us who are doing our best to heal. Learning from you as helped me to realize that I truly was the normal one. The 19 years spent with my ex wife was like the frog in the pot. The water was comfortable to start. The love bombing from her was great. But as the rest of the narcissistic traits began to emerge, I excused them for the sake of thinking it was just a bump in the road and would soon pass. But it became one bump after another after another. I was possibly too forgiving, but I'm an empath, and governed by Christian faith to forgive. The manipulation, the egg shells, and the cycles I went through robbed me of all self worth and self esteem. However, when I realized I'm not that bad, I didn't deserve the abuse and the control I decided to stand up for myself and it was like pulling the pin on the hand grenade. Then I began learning about narcissism and my eyes were blown wide open. However, I may not have handled it in the best way. I became very angry at realizing what I had been the victim of for so many years that my fuse was now very short. If an argument or disagreement of any kind ensued, my reactive abuse was years of pent up pain and frustration. I wasn't physically abusive but I let her have it verbally. Her response was to continue to blame me, and deflect and gaslight so that it was never her fault for our demise. Even though she was the one who had done all the damage, and boys there was a lot of it too. At this point I've had full custody of the kids for 9 months because they refuse to live with her, and truthfully, she doesn't want them anyways. The divorce is almost finished. She lives with the new supply, who was a serious downgrade, and someone she had groomed for a year. I k ow a lot of this sounds so typical, and I'm sure it is. But I wanted to share it for everyone else to know that they are not alone. By the numbers, most of the narcissistic abuse survivors are women, but for the men out there who are like me, you're not alone, it's OK to admit you've been wounded, and it's OK to seek help. Don't give up, realize your self worth and get yourself around other people who will also appreciate you, support you and help build you back up! Restoration is possible, but there you have to take that first step. It might hurt, it won't be easy, but nothing worth doing really ever is! Thank you again. Dr. Carter!

I can remember reading Erich Fromm's The Art of Loving about 50 years ago. So interesting to learn that he focused on narcissism.

Love it, 'hey there team healthy'.

Dr. C this is an extremely important video. It really resonates with me after having ended and discarding my covert/grandiose husband of 8 years. I broke up with him 15 months ago. I was trauma bonded but I have worked through that by focusing inwards and looking at my strengths and weaknesses, the good and the bad in me and working hard on how to be a better more accepting and loving person. Having been with my narc ex for that long caused me shame and guilt at first. His lying and cheating was very hurtful. But I'm on my voyage of self discovery and indeed, there's been personal growth. These individuals as you know can really turn your world upside down but distance and patience is a large part of the recovery from narc abuse. Thank you for your continued guidance and commitment to people like me and all victims of narcissistic abuse. Much love, respect and admiration to you and of course, Gus. Just love him 🐾

Spoken about animals, giving paws and the relation between Narcs and animals. Gus did not like to give paws as a trick for he wanted a relationship with you. Our cat did give paws very early on without being trained at all and I found it quite funny. As a child I grew up with cats but I have never seen such a social and trustworthy cat like ours today. Right from the beginning he would lay with his back on my lap, which I had never experienced before with a cat. I just remembered when the Sociopath came for the first time into our home. Our cat did like him at the beginning, during the love bombing, and he would even sleep on his bag. Later on though, already devaluating me quite a lot, our cat pissed onto his bag with the result that the Sociopath got quite angry.

Dr. C. Here's one! I share space with a vulnerable narcissist who was manageable (ish) for 25 years until the kids moved. I got a longish term illness, and he left eventually after much discord. He wanted back, i let my boundaries down, and I fell for the same old promises. I believe he's a wounded child who was hurt and is affraid to look at himself. Fast forward 20 years, I had a traumatic injury two years ago, and here we are again. Any thoughts? I have so much trust and deep gratitude for you Doc! Thank you ❤

Sure hope you feel better soon Dr. Carter. I had Covid and it hung on for awhile. I’m grateful to now have enough energy to get some things done. Gratitude is the key for me, one day at a time.:-)

Narcissists in dating sometimes show themselves because they can't stand the love and attention you give your pet. They see your pet as competition. My ex boyfriend mistreated my dog when he thought I wouldn't notice, or he would try to get my dog to do things, such as jump up on the couch, that I had trained him not to do. It made me furious and the boyfriend is GONE.😂

Legal systems is always in the narcissist favour and they actually feed/susten the system. Thanks for the reminding on Erich Fromm I love The Art of Love it changes my life 20 years ago .

Dear Dr Carter, you mentioned Erich Fromm: yesterday a got on my phone a lecture from Thomas Fuchs (Prof Dr Dr) about grievances and hate. Erich-Fromm-Vorlesung-2023. My poor suffering friend Bettina will love it. Today i got the questions from the audience. 40 min!!! I have faced up to my Narc1's 13 year old accusation about 'my guilt', i don't feel. No answer yet. She will be back. I can cope with it. Thanks to you my dear Dr Carter. I would love to hear a woof from Gus. 70 years old is young these days don't worry.

Dr C, your timing for going virtual with the KZfaq channel was perfect for me. You have walked alongside me through separation/divorce, clarifying narcissistic family dynamics and surviving bullying in my Masters and Covid career change. Your generous support has been a constant guiding light - ever present and reliable. When I stray into old thinking, you remind me what is healthy. When I think I have done all I need to, you offer information that reveals a deeper level of my unique humanity. In addition, there are days like today, when I meet someone new, and I say to myself "Yep! Immature. I better watch this one!" (with a Georgian/Texan twang LOL). This person put me down a few times today (in front of others), but I easily maintained my peaceful good humour. (I WILL NOT collapse to feed your poor self esteem. Yeah! It's definitely you). So grateful. Hugs to Gus, your family and Mikhaila xx

Been working through my attachment to my narcissistic person in layers since we’re married. I thought I was really coming out of my fog couple months ago, but turned out I had another level to go through to get more revelation. I don’t think I can keep living under this anymore…

Really thankful for you

We who introspect and have faith have superpowers!

Thank you, Dr. Carter. And thanks for the story about Gus.❤❤❤

I loved your story about Gus 🥰 very well said. So wonderful to see the high regard you share for one another. 🥰🥰

Oh my gosh! This! I read oracle cards and have a blended faith practice. My MIL (who has also read tarot and believed in occult practices) started accusing me of WITCHCRAFT and saying that I was oppressing her, I was a Wiccan, etc. Like it’s the 1800s! All of this started because I exposed her attempts at triangulation and gossiping. Her family is quite cultish (one member is even in a cult. There are news papers written on this and the Christian church is banned in one country!) and they started trying to isolate me from other family members. Saying things like “if you remain friends with her, god won’t give you his protection anymore”. This all came to light right around my first miscarriage. I felt like I was being punished by god for something I didn’t even do! I had to go to therapy for months. I still have anxiety. When I tried to hold her accountable she wouldn’t do it. She wanted access to my life but I told her I needed to know why she would say so terrible before I did that. She said she has a “live and let live” approach to life and asks that I respect that. I went to NC.

Thank you, Dr. C. , LOVE team healthy. Your title speaks to not being heard. I'm listening to your thoughts now. People want what they want, at any expense. ❤😂🎉

So far the psychics have not predicted my future ty Dr. Carter .Retirement isn't tough to take. Wishing u good health and much gratitude for your videos

When I went to visit my narc sister, it bothered me that her cat spent most of its time behind the sofa or on the windowsill. My sister claimed the cat was not friendly. One time I came in to the room and called out to the cat and the cat came out and rubbed against me (I never saw it do that to its owner). I own cats so never really thought about it but my sister exclaimed the cat NEVER does that. I think it bothered her. I feel sorry for the cat because I don't think it gets any affection.

These question-and-answer videos are SO HELPFUL. Thank you.

I relate to so much in this video-- as in all your others! A few months ago, I learned some of the lies that AG was telling later girlfriends about me. It really didn't bother me, because I know the ridiculous stories he's told me about his exes,and I'm ok with saying, should the need arise, that this is my version of the story. Other people are free to believe what they choose, even if it doesn't match what I know to be true.

TRIANGULATION & PROJECTION 🤬💯😇💥❤️‍🔥

Thank you again Dr. C 🙏

I filed for divorce from a 27 year marriage from a man who I see all the patterns of the covert narcissist. The divorce is dragging and dragging out. I’ve been moved out for 6 months, in which he has done his usual ignoring me, and he recently asked if I’ve had enough time and will reconcile since someone told him once that their wife left for 6 months and came back . The thing that doesn’t match the videos is that he is hanging on so hard. He hasn’t told anyone except for his parents that I’ve left. Even though I’ve learned so much, I still get hung up on his even quieter calmer tone and trying to be “nice” and still not acknowledging that the marriage is really over. What is going on? No raised voice, no discarding, no meanness, just the drawing things out until I come to my senses. As I write this, I can see it, but it can feel so slippery when it is so covert!!

Regarding the question about “making it work….try harder”. It’s really irritating to get that advice from someone who has never been married, let alone to a narcissist.

Re narcs and let’s- can be a way to show the world how lovely and caring they can be to the outside world- reality is they can’t relate to anyone that can talk back. Supply one way or another !😊

Hell yeah, all your answers have been mine, lol, im 71, alone but rebuilding finances. Wont declare bankcruptcy. Happy 70th. At 50 had cerebral hemorrhage, at discarding, was faulted, lol, then children mocked in 2020, bumped your head. Lol must of been when banged my head on cement wall trying to get change. I evolved and change is constant. Yes i was vulnerable narc, never complained as no one elses problem. Getting someone to love impossible. Not in them. Being labelled everyone jumps in with presumed facts. Lol really

It seems that one of the things they like to do is call you crazy and tell others that they are worried and you need psychiatric help (which may actually be true, but not because you are crazy, but because you need new tools and knowledge to deal with their behavior). Being "crazy" must be a big fear of theirs because they use it as the ultimate insult and means of dismissing you as fully human.

Get well soon Dr C.

The best way to clear out the flem cough is to make yourself sneeze as it clears the head out. This worked better for me than any medicine. Also, chai tea with honey, grated ginger. Cut back on dairy for a few days. This advice is for all the help you have given me,

Thank you Dr. Carter. Our son and daughter in law have backed away from engagement with our family. They never initiate calls to my husband and I. They live several states away so we rarely see them. We’ve invited them to visit, offering to pay for flights, and they declined. Yesterday, our DIL group texted a photo of our young grandson, to my husband and I and included our son. I was pleasantly surprised and typing a grateful reply when POOF! she removed the photo. Pretty sure she did this to keep us trauma bonded. Sadly, I was triggered to think about this for the rest of the day. How do I avoid rumination?

Hello Dr C! Could you please talk more about communal narcissists. I think my father was like that. He died in 2006. I diden't realize this until I was 48 years old. Now I'm 51. I'm learning so much from you. Thank you!❤ Nina (Sweden)

I'm not sure what my ex narc couldn't recognize about himself. It seemed so obvious to me.

The (lack of) structure and lack of accountability in much of the religious practice in the southern states is very empowering to narcissists. There could be a documentary. I was actually shocked to discover that most Christians were not like that.

How do you deal with a spouse that never changes and continues to lie, blame shift, back hand compliments, gaslight her children knowing full well if I remove myself from the situation they will take it out on the kids as I have seen it first hand the manipulation.

People accuse me of goading them. They say I deserve it when they abuse me because I brought it on myself. But from my perspective, I see their abominable selfish behaviour and call it out in a very mild way. They see this as goading or stirring. I see it as a mild expression of intense frustration.

My spouse,the narc, loves animals only if they reciprocate the supply he gives them. If not, he’s ready to discard the animal for a replacement.

Thank you for your reply! I agree with what you’ve said here. My husband has done the majority of the talking during our hard conversations with her. He and I are on the same page, which has been a huge blessing. :) I don’t think that anyone has given her consequences for her behavior. I’m hoping that it is helping! I’ll look into the book that you mentioned!! Thank you, again!

I was on my own no matter what. Lawyers not much help. Getting every resource available and no support, zero, financially. Evil, denying survival needs. Yes, dead best for them. Not sharers, in anything. ❤😂🎉

Dr C and SIR GUS! Thank you for answering about the prevalence of depression and the vulnerable narcissist.The narc I dealt with was in treatment for depression, but never recognized their narcissism. Interestingly, you mentioned "Eeyore" as a potential false self for the narc in this case, and the narc I'd asked about had all kinds of clothing, cups, etc. with Eeyore on them!! Stay Blessed!

There are days when I don’t handle my narcissistic husband very well when I throw back the truth and then we end up in an argument He gas lights me and turns makes up non truths back at me 😞😟😫🥺😢

Amen, Dr. C to your answer about religion. TRUE christian people do not put others down; they pray for them.

Rewatching. I was distracted. Much gratitude. I am very excited about new webinar on the dark. 🌹

This was absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this DR Les, You're absolutely beautiful, I have upmost Respect for you, Peace, love, Respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe 🌹😃❤💜💙🌈😊👁🌷🐎😍♘☘🌝🕊🐉😇👽🐶🦄💚🌌💛

True about the dog. We had a narc in the family and he loved his dog as long as the dog adored him. Years later however, my dog didn’t adore this narc…so the narc acted like he just never “connected” with that dog, didn’t like her 😂

Hi Dr C, I grew up in a narcissistic family system & now as an older adult I've realized that some people treat me like a "doormat." I'm afraid to set boundaries for fear of retribution. Please explain & advise. Thanks!

Stu, it took me awhile to find the song you were going to look up that I was calling "Passive Resistance" is titled Send Your Regrets by Living Sacrifice. A Christian Death Metal cd a dude gave me at a jobsite 20yrs ago and the songs come up on my truck and house shuffle thing. It's got heavy riffs and tones and good mastering... Incidental consequences Growing larger by the second Things I've said Things I've done out of ignorance I cursed the son Passive resistance Passive resistance Sown in ignorance If I'd had known the path I took I could have told The stupid links to past mistakes Take a flying leap into your fate I was wrong for thinking I could not prevail I was wrong I was wrong I was wrong I was wrong for thinking I could not prevail Kept my mouth shut for too long This is not what I agreed upon Passive resistance Passive resistance Believed the lies I can't repeat this procession of hatred Defeat Passive resistance Passive resistance Sown in ignorance If I'd had known the path I took I could have told The stupid links to past mistakes Take a flying leap into your fate I was wrong for thinking I could not prevail

Thanks Dr. C. Loved your Gus story. I love dogs and my two shepherds! I’ve had that funky respiratory since I had covid in 2022. Hope it goes away soon!!

Scary to think what I might have picked up from my mom!

Good episode thank you Dr C. I did alot of research on family history, the Spiritual prayers for ancestors asking G-od to forgive them where they need it as the sins of the fathers go onto 3rd and 4th, and 6th or 7th generations, Bible says so. It was interesting to see patterns going back that were unhealthy and carried onto next generation. Also some ignorant religious people can put guilt onto a Divorced person not knowing anything about narcissism or alcoholism etc and the affect on a persons health who lives with them.

Hi Dr C Great listening. I hope you had a nice holiday break. I did pick up on a podcast, which I listen to as well 😊, that your voice sounded raspy. I thought about how much talking you do it can irritate your throat. In this video I can hear as you’ve shared that you have a respiratory ailment. Sorry you’re dealing with this and appreciate you still willing to provide your time and energy. I’m out walking today. I really appreciated the questions people ask, moreover how great it is listening to your responses. Oh and I smiled, chuckled about Gus having his own lawyer due to him needing representation since he makes appearances…lovely how he looks at you and it’s then that he hands you his paw. Thank you for sharing this precious moment with Gus. On a personal note I’m returning to work at the airport in Auckland, NZ in a different capacity, still dealing with people in a safety security capacity. It’s so not what I thought I’d ever do. Definitely not hospitality. They’re are aspects of the role I like… it’s a base job and I can still endeavour to pursue the creative side of me if I desire. Anyway Dr C I’m hoping to once again travel and would like to visit the States one day. I hope you and your Family are well. Hope you soon get over what you have. Hi to Gus of course. Monica. New Zealand 🇳🇿

Isn’t there a huge difference between wanting a person to change and wanting them to change the way they treat you? Example…my husband is always joking, and I’m tired of it. When he’s talking to me, I don’t want him to be that way.

Before I knew about narcissism he would say: "don't try to figure me out, you never will" Before I knew about narcissism he would say: "they all love me, I sure got them fooled" I am self-sufficient, independent and making new friendships but it is like a knife in my heart that family members will not recognize how he destroyed my child's psyche to the point of her being unable to trust anyone and cannot support herself, has broken ties with EVERYONE. I must forgive myself for being so blind.

Can't watch. I know this all weel and thank you for your courage Dr. C.🌹

It's definitely possible for full-blown narcs to have a actual mood disorder like Depression...But generally most of them are just experiencing a negative mood state from low narcissistic supply rather than a actual Depressive disorder.Also regular people with actual real Depression feel HORRIBLE crushing guilt after they behave badly toward others particularly when untreated,also they suffer so much from the Depression symptoms.Sometimes people mistakenly 💭 a narc just has Depression & then wonder why no meds/therapy helps them even after many months🙄.

Oh no, so I am my mother after all!

Why can't narcissicistic individuals recognize how miserable they are? I tried persuading my mom that if she'd consider coming to therapy either with me or by herself, in time she would feel more peaceful and be happier. I was hoping that might motivate her to give it a try. She always insisted she felt fine and was perfectly happy. (Right after griping about something she'd be blaming me for). Can their alternate reality really block their awareness of emotional pain and upset that much? Her chronically disregulated behavior indicated otherwise, yet she could not see it. It was baffling. How does a person not recognize their misery (when it's obvious they are miserable)? Can't they feel it??

I finally realized my mother was jealous...and I followed her very sick patterns.

Q @Surviving Narcissism When they are big on you trusting them yet you notice inconsistencies and you think you are being deceived should you bring it up?

Concerning pets, i want to leave, but i know he would fight me with who has the pets. He does nothing for them, how would i go about leaving WITH my pets?

They don't see because they don't care to see. They just want out of the marriage. They justify and justify and, go figure, everything is your fault. So they don't care, they just want out....

They can't take responsibility nor introspect. He slithered out. I could have put him in Jail but I was thousands of miles away . He even tried suing me when I was homeless. I won. He still didn't pay. Must reconsider Fromme.

Thank you ❤

Hi Dr Carter-My mother has always displayed very high levels of narcissism. I’m the eldest of 3 girls, diagnosed as Bipolar 2. My youngest sister is diagnosed as Schizo-Affective. Throughout my early life I had lengthy periods of depression, interspersed with periods of normalcy and seeming happiness. My middle sister has not been diagnosed, but is quite judgmental and controlling. She has not spoken to my youngest sister in 20 years. I have always been terribly frightened of criticism and have sought to avoid it in two ways. One is people pleasing to the nth level, and the other is disappearing and not interacting with family for years at a time. Recently my father died and my mother and middle sister have bonded more than ever before. In fact, the middle sister claimed to hate her for nearly her entire life. Now that my mom is vulnerable and aging, my middle sister has agreed with my mom on everything. I’ve always allowed intrusiveness from them and been highly reactive when criticized harshly. I’m at a place where I want to stop being merely reactive to this criticism/abuse(?) and strengthen my boundaries and yet keep my empathy and love for them, despite feeling they do not have my best interests at heart. I’m just confused as to how to get started on having healthier relationships with them and I’m worried that maybe my own narcissistic tendencies are what are at issue. We have never discussed narcissism in our family and it’s all new to me. I’m 57 and terrified that I’m the problem, as that has always been the conversation. My mother and middle sister discuss my sister and I as problem children amongst themselves and I’m just curious if my lack of boundaries has allowed this and how to change that to become whole, (something I’ve heard exists but have NEVER known.) I’m sorry for the novella and thank you for your expertise in advance. Thank you.🙏

Oh the religion section! 👍👍 My Sociopathic wife “adds” Jesus to her Sociopathy. Pathological lying is just fine in her mind in a divorce. 🤔

Dr. C, I was awarded full custody of my 15 year old daughter 5 years ago with my narcissistic ex. He still has visitation rights, but she is not allowed to stay with him overnight. I’m trying to comply with the court by allowing him to see her and speak with her, however she is becoming resistant as she’s gotten older. I don’t want to encourage codependency, but I’m trying to abide by the laws. Last week during his visit at our home she outright told him “You are mean, selfish, a terrible parent and when I make 18 I plan to never speak to you again”. He immediately blamed me and wanted me to punish her. I’m stuck in between and rock and a hard place as she is threatening to report him for verbal abuse if he makes another visit. The insults start with him and we’ve had several mediators, but his behavior never changes. Her reactive abuse and aggression towards him is on full speed. I’ve ignored his calls this week, but he likes power/control and he won’t let her get away with handling him like that. I’m unsure of what to do.

I struggle greatly with reactive abuse. I am with covert passive aggressive vulnerable narc. Since I am only person who receives this poor treatment I feel I am their personal target for all hate, anger, revenge and anything that goes wrong is my fault. My kids even believe I am at fault because of my reactiveness! I'm still with narc. We have marriage counselor I found that is expert on NPD and gave the vulnerable narc diagnosis to my husband to his face. He claims he can work on his stuff and change but many issues he doesn't see what he is doing. My husband was raised by a narc. Do you think change is possible? There is no empathy for me since I have been defending myself and reactive for so long (23 yr marriage) that my husband sees me as an abuser to him! Any advice? Does marriage recovery center have success with these types? I worry that empathy, true love and connection will never exist. So confused. Worried triangulated kids will choose him over me!

Do you have any advice on how to handle my narcissistic sister? Our mother has Alzheimer’s disease. She is now sadly in a care home, uprooted from her hometown, where she had lived all her adult life and moved by my “sister” to her area for her own convenience, then hardly ever visits her. I was completely excluded from all plans. My “sister” is manipulative, lying, selfish, acts according to her own agendas, has no conscience, takes no responsibility for her actions, and takes pleasure in power. She seems to have learned from her psychopathic ex husband. She fights forcively against vaccinations for mum, tricks her to sign letters, “lectures” healthcare staff, etc. Mum can express her wishes, if you give her time and don’t stress her and has given her consent to vaccinations. Mum has not arranged a medical power of attorney and I am always worried my “sister” will start dictating what treatments mum is not “allowed” and that healthcare staff will listen to her. I have had no contact with my “sister” for many years, except for formal messages I had to send regarding mum (e.g. in regard to the sale of mum’s house), and if she turns up at the care home I totally ignore her and walk away. She tries to pull me back into her drama. I do not want to lose my relationship with my mum, who is all the family I have, and I do everything for her, but I can’t take any more of this. My life is ruined by the anticipatory grief and the toxicity of my “sister”, who is sabotaging mum’s life.

Is the memory loss and them guessing to fill in that gapp the reason why they can project the feeling of Truth into someone??

TY

Great insight thanks Vitamin C Ever think about changing a narcissist through hypnosis?, Can you picture the positive narrative, reverse psychology 😊

Dr. C How do you effectively apologize? Growing up I had a lot of anger issues I never addressed and subsequently took it out on the people around me at the time. It's been a long time since then and I've done a lot of work on myself with the help of some amazing individuals I've been able to connect with. I want to apologize to these individuals from my past, however I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to reenter their life again (opposite sex). I simply want to say that I'm sorry for any harm that I might have caused them.

2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

When in life does someone typically develop this affliction; and is it contagious ? I dont guess they’re born with it.

I do believe narcissism is on a spectrum but I don't believe everything narcissist do is on a spectrum. Narcissistic parents choosing one child as a golden child and one child as a black sheep isn't behavior that's on a spectrum. Building a flying monkey army to attack help keep your power isn't on a spectrum. This is something else. The narcissist learned how to manipulate that way and its not normal for humanity to behave that way.

Dr. C, I really need help! I believe my sister is married to a narcissist. We have been in conflict for 1 year now and he and my sister have cut off contact with my parents and my husband (they blame my husband somehow). They have 5 children and my parents are devastated. My Brother-in-law has sent the most hateful and hurtful messages throughout this and my sister stands by him, but I don’t know if she knows everything he has said. I want to tell her what he is saying as I believe she would be very hurt and surprised, but I don’t know if i should or how I could do that. Also, how can we all see that he is a narcissist and she seems completely ignorant and acts like everything is fine with them?? Thank you!

Always call u crazy.😅

How do we decipher whether our partner has the inability to self-reflect truly

The God of the Bible teaches a self sacrificial love. Narcissists are all about themselves and what they want, which is in direct violation of what God wants. The Bible (God) should never be used to excuse sin. Unfortunately it has and is being used that way by some. Also on a different note 😁. There's a story about a man who locked his dog in his car trunk for 4 hours. When he came back and let the dog out the dog was so happy and excited to be released. So the man tried it with his wife. When released , she was furious! So when told this story by a narcissist he stated that dogs were better and more thankful and appreciative. 😳

I'm sorry I'm trying to figure ou what type of narcissistic people My father was, but I knew him when he gets angry, I used to think it was a frustrating father who wants his kids do well but if my father knew what he was doing and kept us unaware of it, Lord he didn't know the pain he inflicted upon us his children, he just didn't care. I think father God kno ws everything but I want to meet him and look at his face and ask him why did you do that? you don't even give your children a chance to do what your little selfish

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