I remember as a child, driving through the Wisconsin countryside with my Grandma. Every time we passed an old, dilapidated barn, my Grandma would say, “needs paint”. Today many years since her passing, I do not have one physical item that belonged to her. But every time I see an old, dilapidated barn I hear her voice saying “needs paint”. To me, that’s much more valuable than any plate or teacup. 💕

I had a hard reality check. My daughter said she wants none of my sentimental stuff, nor antique furniture. My son wants some of my furniture. No sense holding onto things for them if they are gonna be clutter to them... so out they go. ❤ Its freeing to know ahead of time.

When my mother passed away in April 2021 she had several storage lockers, and a hoarded apartment two thousand miles away from me. My father-in-law has also passed, and he was a collector of thousands of coins, stamps, and military memorabilia. We have no idea what any of it is, but we have to figure it out and sell it to help in supporting my mother-in-law. It is very stressful, I would not wish this for anyone! ❤

I'm on the other side of this situation. Once my momma retires she intends to downsize, but she's been asking now about things I may want. It's very hard for her when I say I don't want much of anything, even very expensive jewelry, because I'm very minimalist. I gladly tell her my sister can have all the jewelry but my mom is upset that won't be fair. Try to remember, fair doesn't mean even - it means everyone is content with what they do or don't get.

This week, I just went through a winnowing process on the cup-and-saucer collection I inherited from my mother in 1990. I had 14 sets of them in different floral patterns, and I couldn't bear to look at them until recently, because I got to emotional. I packed away 2 red-and-green ones to use at Christmastime, and 1 pink rose-patterned one to use at Valentine's Day. I kept 6 more of my favorites, for which I plan to buy a wall-mounted display cabinet. The other 5 sets are going to be sold. I think I have plenty to remember my mother by, so I feel ready to let them go now. I couldn't have done this a few years ago! I also have and use my mother's pewter teapot with matching sugar and creamer, and a coffee service I inherited from my great-aunt. Plus my grandmother's stemware and silverplate flatware from 1924. I cherish them! Before you mentioned having the discussion with your daughters, I had composed a suggestion for dividing up the Royal Gadroon china: Give Evan all of the dinner plates, bread-and-butter (small) plates, and soup bowls. Give each of your interested daughters half of the cups & saucers + salad (medium-sized) plates. Buy a replacement creamer for one of the daughters and a sugar and creamer for the other daughter (and maybe a matching teapot apiece), if you think they will use those. This way Evan will have enough china to serve a family dinner, and your daughters will each have enough to serve coffee/tea and dessert or lunch to four people. I'd set aside the china that doesn't belong to the Royal Gadroon set for Fran. If it turns out later that he doesn't want it, you can donate it. You can buy some missing pieces for the Royal Gadroon service from Replacements dot com. Search for "Violet by Harker." There are also pieces available on Etsy and eBay, including a creamer and sugar. Another suggestion: when you finish packing up the china, place a note inside each box with a history of who it originally belonged to, how it was passed to you, and your memories of using it. This will make the gift feel much more like a legacy.

I have a lot of stuff from my parents. My boys don't want it and neither do I. We kept it for years and now that season is over and I am letting it go. It's so freeing! I only want to hold onto what my sons really want. The rest is going. It's not fun to go through all the stuff but so worth it. I am starting to love my home again now that so much is gone.

I remember these conversations with my grandparents, parents. Now it's my turn. Tell the stories about these things to kids.. write down and label. If they want things and you are ready---give them now.

Keep up the good work! I try not to think about all the stuff my husband and I will need to sort through after our mothers' have passed. We only have one daughter and I told my hub we cannot do to her what we will be facing. It's our responsibility to declutter, not our children.

The kids can go online and find more pieces, if desired. Some may decide to turn it all over to one. It happens.

I have children who had said they "Didn't want" and then had a change of heart. I have Grandchildren who are more attached to memories of them and me and my things and want them. So I am a so happy to be using these things in my home with all of them and what I did was take a picture of things and then wrote who wanted it on the back of the picture. The pictures are located in my Fire/Water Proof bag.

My Uncle recently gave me things from my Grandparents and I'm so thankful and happy to be able to enjoy them. I'm very blessed he decided to bless me with them prior to any thought of him passing on. He is so happy I'm happy and enjoying the items. ❤❤❤🙏🏻

My Mom and Grandmother had the same pattern china. I have no place to display so the neices are taking it (my daughter didn't want it either). I'm going to scan in a picture of the pattern and sublimate it on to a heart shape ornament and also sublimate a note on the back on who it came from, the pattern and manufacturer. It will remind me of them every year when I hang it on my tree :)

In my family, my mother always said the first to marry within the church (we’re catholic) would get the china. Unfortunately, by the time that happened many pieces had been broken. So I ended up with a few serving dishes and some tea cups and saucers.😊 My dad recently gave me the 64 pc sterling silverware set. He said he wanted it to go to someone that would value it and he didn’t want to have it thrown out when he passed. It was real honor as I’m one of three girls. He gets very sentimental when I bring it out during the holidays. ❤

It always amazes me how huge the houses in these decluttering videos are 😮 My whole place would fit into part of your basement and I really need to declutter. No children so there's no one to leave anything

My math brain wants to acknowledge appreciation for you fixing a messy problem (8÷3) and tidying it into 8÷4. Well done. I am not going to talk about how you also turned 2 → 4 (boxes). To be honest, any time you can turn sentimental decluttering into a math problem would be preferable to me (easily understood if you've waded through my long comment, haha). Math is so tidy.

My parents are if the mindset of after they are gone to have an auction and if any family wants anything then you go and bid on it. My siblings are not a fan of this. The kids/grandkids/etc live in different parts of the country. None of us want everything or more than another. Just small items here and there. If a big ticket item we think we should discuss it between us. Are you wanting it to use or sell. So thank you for doing tit this way. Your kids will appreciate it

you are doing a great job Karen!

I am the youngest of four girls. Our dad passed away when we were young (6-13) and then our mother when we were 27-34. I was put in charge of being the executor of my mom's estate. She had some Christmas China (Johnson Brothers). Thankfully, at the time she passed we had enough for each of us to have a service for each family member so the oldest got 3 sets, next got 4, next got 3, and I got 2. Over the years, they have given them to other sisters for one reason or another. I still have mine. Even though it was not "even" it was fair. For the jewelry, we got to pick numbers and then, if you wanted, you could trade with another member. The most important thing to me and my sisters was to not let the "stuff" get between us as we needed each other more than ever. It is just "stuff" after all that we will eventually have to see go to another person. Thank you for sharing and bringing back a bittersweet memory for me.

I just want to say you look amazing. You have come so far. I have 2 kids so easier for me to divide up. Thanks for doing the hard stuff and sharing.❤

I am adding a second comment. You can remove a lot of your anxiety by just telling your children (or writing it for after you’re gone) that you are not going to try to divide everything 100% evenly because you can’t although you wish you could. Tell them it makes you too anxious. Tell them regardless, you love them the same and you’ll do the best you can. But You’re going to leave the children what you think that they would like which might not be even but that can’t be helped and that if there’s something they really want, they need to let you know now, so you can tag it or resolve any issues together. Ultimately it’s your decision.

Really enjoyed watching and hearing your thought process. I don’t think handing down possessions is a black and white decision, it’s all about personal perspective for those doing the giving and who may or may not want to receive 😊. It’s a slippery slope when making decisions based on the what if’s in life. My personal experience as an almost 40 yr old who lost both sets of grandparents in my 20’s …I was fortunate to be able to select things from both sides and I only have things that I use or am willing to display that spark wonderful memories for myself. For instance I use a glass pie plate and set of glasses for every day use that brings each of my grandmother’s to mind when I do it. On a final note if I didn’t have any of these “things”, what I value more than anything are the memories I made, and that I was able to have relationship and experiences with my loved ones while they were here. Just my personal outlook on life, I’ve always been this way 🙃. 🌸 Matthew 6 19-21 🌸 God bless and I look forward to your next video!

Just found your channel. I’m decluttering in Springvale. We’re practically neighbors :)

I see so many people who store these things in boxes for years & it has never made any sense to me. If It cannot be used right now or I don’t want to display it, then it goes. I really could not be bothered to keep shuffling them around or so called organising them. So much easier. Life is too short to waste your time on “ stuff”.

I've seen on staging tables sets of one thing like a full set of large plates combined with another set of bowl plates and a complimentary set of cups to make it a brand new set. Another words, you can give a full set of cups with their little plate to one child so they can combine them with complimentary sets so they can make it their own. Another child could get the dishes set and another the bowl set. That way they have a full set of one thing.

Replacements Unlimited did not have this pattern and EBay had a few pieces but not the creamer that is broken. Johnny Jump Up? Pattern. It’s pretty. Unfortunately it is hard to sell and most kids do not want it. Perhaps things will come around again and old china will be back in style. Always enjoy your videos. The plate from your dad’s church was very special. You should display somewhere. Pittsboro, NC

Hello, Karen! Thank you for your video!❤.💞. Good luck to you.❤.

yes! it is available online. It appears to have debuted in the 1940's. Recently I came across a folder that had some papers in it from my mother in law (who died about 10 years ago). Not sure how I missed the folder as I was responsible for going through the entire house over a matter of a couple of weeks. Finding the folder brought up some rough feelings about that time. In part it was trying to give opportunity to each sibling to have what was important to them.... it was really hard and had to be done quickly - over 50 years in the same house with a couple who had gone through the depression. Anyway, the folder. It had some notes about some china mom collected. (this was pre-internet, so correspondence and ads from replacement china companies) I suddenly started remembering how one of her son-in-laws (who had his own problems) started collecting For her, in massive and overwhelming amounts, and presenting them to her. It became clutter. She would never hurt his feelings by saying she had enough. The stuff he got for her wasn't what was precious to her because she hadn't hunted it down and formed a memory around collecting it. When she died we tried to get each set (entire different sets) to someone but it didn't really mean much to anyone. One set of carnival glass came to one granddaughter and then my youngest was guilted into taking it. She is a very sentimental gal but it was too much, and didn't really help her remember grandma better than other small items. I helped her sell it and we each kept a piece that we liked. Burden lifted. I sent the folder to my sister-in-law (some of the notes were from her to her mom) just last week. What a relief. I hope that there are no more surprises in my office declutter, which has now gone twice as long as I planned. Anyway, that's why I think death and life cleaning/decluttering is so good for us, and for those we love. Going through the house like we did pretty much ruined a peaceful grieving time for me and for my husband (who was watching his family implode) (but I'll say that there has been some healing as the years pass. God is Good.) You can infuse these pieces of china with as many shared memories and prayers as you can, and give permission to do whatever they want with them as the years go by. Maybe they'll add to them bit by bit and make new memories, or, maybe not. If it were me I would definitely encourage them to USE them. That's my biggest takeaway about swedish death cleaning, the idea that I should have an answer for what my "real" plan is for stored items (like what am I waiting for?). I'll be 65 this year, and my kids are all out of the house, and I have grandchildren who are quickly growing towards adulthood. It's time. (but, at this rate, I might still be working on the office for the rest of my life. haha. I am actually making progress every day still. Last week I refinished the top of the desk and earlier today my husband finally noticed. He told me how he had purchased the desk at a yard sale when his family was driving home from the Thousand Islands. They put it in their boat for the trip home. He had gone through a spiritual awakening that year (age 17) and the desk was part of the new more serious young man. When we inherited our old house we remodeled a tiny room around the desk, and made bookshelves from wood that was from a college dorm that was being torn down. Now I'm trying to set it up for him to be able to use it in our older age. But still, if the kids/grandkids don't want the desk when we die, oh well! )

When some of my grandparents downsized, we could all wish for the things, they didn't want to take with them. If more than one person wished for a certain thing, the names where put i a bowl and a name got drawn and that person got the thing. I really like it that way, because I have before gotten pieces of a set which where divided between family members and it wasn't to much use because of that. And if I didn't get the thing - oh well I didn't and luckily it doesn't change my memories of/or with the person handing down the thing. :)

Yep, it s snowing here in Quebec every other day too.

Hellooo Karen, as always my friend it’s a delight to catch up with you😊 I’m afraid I’m the same as you, I like things to work out equal, thankfully for me (or not depending on point of view) I don’t have anything from my parents/grandparents and in-laws that I’m sentimental about, I have 1 jug from my mother, that’s it. 1 jug, it’s pretty ugly, she didn’t like it either, I think a friend bought it for her at some point, it being ugly is kind of it’s appeal, I do recall the laughter we shared when she unwrapped it😂 that memory is worth more than the jug but I keep it for some reason. Wonderful to see you and as always my lovely much love and light to you.🥰🥰🥰

Am over in NS.......We get your weather right after you do....agree about snow every other day! But thank heavens for this milder winter! I will be trying to figure out the china soon enough. 3 kids and 2 sets of china. 😬

I know you don't want to add clutter to anyone's life, but maybe ask the kids if they all want just a few pieces of the set you have or maybe you/they can find a set at a second hand store they would like better(or in place of so they have a full set) and you can pay for or help pay for in place of xmas/birthday gift. Just a thought.

The broken China, you could do 2 things, take a picture of it, write a story about it and make a mosaic table top, serving tray and so many other things where you can do a mosaic look. Give it to whoever wants it, th as t way it won't go in the trash, but would be a valuable heirloom because you did the mosaic with love.

Great video #bingewatchingfromTampa :)

I think you did a really good job separating the china. 🍽️ ☕️🫖 It was thoughtful of you to share it out equally amongst the three children who expressed they wanted it and your son and his wife. It meant they could have a little piece of family history all neatly contained in a box 📦which can be easily stored until it’s required. It will enable your children to bring it out for use when required, or passed back and fourth between your children later on and/or decluttered easily should any of your children change their minds about it or no longer want to hold on to it. Swedish Death Cleaning 🇸🇪 isn’t for everyone, as no one size fits all approach is suitable or convenient in everyone’s different lives or circumstances. However, I think for those who can try it, it can really help unburden yourself and the next generations from excessive or unwanted things. I enjoyed listening to your views on the subject, Karen. I particularly liked it when you said you preferred to view it as “Life cleaning and decluttering rather than purely for death”. That view changes the perspective and makes it seem less final and morbid. ❤👏🤗

What about giving it all to the son who is married and then if the girls get married, they can decide if they want any of it. This way it doesn't sit going un used, but rather to be enjoyed right now. Nice Life Cleaning!

I said I was interested in the china, but of course it just sat in my kitchen cabinet for over 30 years and didn’t have the whole set due to it being divided. I donated it. I even donated my wedding dress to be made into Angel gowns. I got rid of Christening items and blankets and baby stuff. Even the silver engraved items. My kids just wanted to know stories and pictures of the past. Only thing I will keep is kids projects (few selected from school years) and family pics. Other than that, I donated it all. With myself and friends and people I know, have always saved things for their kids etc and never were used (just dust and clutter collection). I always thought people would want the stuff later on…nope. I kept onto all those items for nothing. I could have had so much space and less stress. Even wedding rings etc they want their own even though mine they were obsessed with. Lol

I have a family cake plate that was handed down to the oldest female in each family but I keep it picked up so it doesn’t get broke more. When I was younger I wanted it but now I want to get rid of it because I don’t want the responsibility of it.

You look so lovely in that warn honey brown sweater. Just wanted to let you know how lovely it is on you! ✨

I wish I was as willing to let go like you, Karen. Maybe one day! 🌻

You’re a great mom! Love the slap-on labels! ☺️

This motivates me to keep decluttering 💪 ty!

You don’t have to divide what you’re passing on to your children evenly at all. Don’t worry about it. More than likely they will never compare notes. And if they did, honestly, it’s not a big deal, they will deal with it.

My 5year Decorate hers room hope It help get it clean

Nice China Karen! My mom really didn’t have china. I don’t either. But, great advice for things to pass down for sure!

I would talk to the kids, ask them what kind of pieces they are intrested in or... I would let the 3 kids do the dividing by talking to eachother and decide.

There is a company, I think they are in Dallas TX that makes jewelry out of broken china. You could have something made up out of the broken piece as a remembrance of their grandmother.

I always look for sets of dishes I love. Even if they are China. I made open shelving in our kitchen by removing one cabinet. I display it there. We use these dishes every day. It would mean so much more if they were given to me by family because I could imagine them eating with them. Especially if they saved them to pass them on to family to use.

royal gad-ROON is US china from the Harker factory in Ohio. It does not look like fine china, it is not exceptionally old (1850's at the oldest). There are lots of places to get it including Replacements. the question is, do they still want it after seeing it.

Hi Karen! You did an awesome job dividing the china. 😊 I am in the process of passing on my treasures to my 2 adult children now and have found it much easier than having to go through that whole process after a loved one has passed. I am helping my dad downsize the belongings he collected with my mom their entire life and it’s not been easy. He wants to make sure the items goes to a family member if it’s wanted but if it’s to be donated he also wants to make sure that whoever gets the item will really appreciate it as my mom did or he has, he doesn’t want to just give the stuff to a donation center. I have tried explaining that in order to declutter the things he doesn’t want or need any longer he is going to have to accept he can not be picky about where the donations go much less who gets them. It is hard making progress. 🫣 Thank you for sharing ways to pass on family treasures and your thoughts on the process. I am telling the stories behind the items I pass to my children as I gift it and with some items I am writing it down to include with the item. Thank you for doing the hard stuff and sharing with us! 😊 On a side note, I LOVE the longer cardigan you had on! So pretty! You look beautiful my friend! 😁🤗 We are having tons of rain instead of snow, but it is warming up and flowers are blooming. Now the bigger problem is pollen. 🤣 Got to love spring! Hope you have a very productive and prosperous week. Be blessed! ❤️❤️

I have a few special glassware pieces from my grandparents and my parents on display in my china cabinet and a few art pieces around the house. I have taken photos of these items and included the approximate age of the items and who gave them to me. The photos and descriptions are in a drawer in the china cabinet. My daughter and my daughter-in-law know that the list is in the drawer. I don’t even know if my kids will be interested in any of the items but at least they will be able to make an informed decision about what do do with them.

I only have one daughter. She didn’t want most of my stuff. I gifted all my China to a friend that has a resale antiques and vintage store. She sold all of it in just a few months.

The china with the violet pattern is from the 50's it was made by Harker pottery in liverpool Ohio.

its hard to know what to do . im glad the kids have those special china to use. hi whozie

You need to make you a decluttering kit. Jessica from the Organized Mama has some ideas to help you set one up.

Good job getting through a task you were NOT looking forward to completing!

Iam in the process of doing this to but some stuff I still have on display etc so iam putting stickers on the back so they know who it goes to etc and telling them it's on there .

Just wondering, would the other kids be ok with the son who is married having use of all the dishes right now? Then when they are ready their pieces could be returned to them.

my mother has a ton of fine china...my grandmother on my father'S side collected the stuff and always gifted my mom those things...and always made sure to say that it should go to me some day. It still lives in my mom's house. THe stuff has basically zero value by now as the market just is overfilled by people dying and the family decluttering those exact things. and while i really do like some of the pieces...i do live in a 2 room appartment. I find it rather upsetting as i would love those things and i really want to help my mom out getting rid of it. but i just can't put it anywhere.

I was giftedmy grandmother's china (12 place settings, all intact!) I too, was thrilled when she offered it to me as I didn't grow up with china, except when using it at her house. When newly married, I used it for special meals, but I've been over it since children "arrived". I have asked my sibling, my adult kids, adult nieces and nephews etc. - no one wants it. Now what? I'm not interested in selling it - I just want to find someone who will cherish it.

Hola Amiga!!🌸. Bendiciones!!🙏🏻👍🙏🏻

Hi Karen!!!!!

Write and slap! 😆🤣

My in-laws are in their 80's, they're very sweet. They have a pretty big house and an attic, little out building, triple car garage. I really wish they would just pare way down now, and not let my husband and his sister take care of it all?

I’m still here spending it lol

that is a huge cat

What is the reason to wait until after passing to give the unused china to children vs. giving it to them now?

Chonky cat ... def from Maine 🤣

💜

Where did you get the silver cups from? I would love to get my grandchildren each a one.

Is it just one more you that you'll be teaching?

❤💯💯💯👍

kids only want the money car and house. The rest usually ends up at a charity/ thrift shop.

In an ideal wordl you would have them duke it out oflver the china. WWF style. 😉

Throw away the broken China. Even if you repaired it, I wouldn’t trust it to stay together. I wouldn’t want it to break and spill the contents on someone.

My great challenge has an etsy shop. She knows all about china.

Why don't you just use it?

Doesn't the cat get cold all the time in the basement? Bring him upstairs my God!!😒

Two sets for each of the three. Then two sets for you and your husband to have a romantic dinner.

OMG! 😢 That cat needs to lose weight. Poor thing.