Swipe left for sex: love & HIV in the age of Grindr | Scott Fried | TEDxPSU

  Рет қаралды 79,188

TEDx Talks

TEDx Talks

9 жыл бұрын

Popular apps, such as Grindr, Tinder and OK Cupid, have made it easier for people to find and hook up with others at a faster rate than at any other time in human history. They’ve also allowed us to act in uncivil ways towards each other and ourselves. In this compelling talk, Scott Fried bravely explores the themes of love, rejection, sex, truth, longing and HIV/AIDS as part of a personal narrative. He exposes the secrets and hidden meanings of these interactions and the stories we tell ourselves …ultimately delivering a global message of humanity and hope.
Scott Fried is a health educator, international public speaker and writer. He has touched more than a million people across the US and in numerous other countries through his lectures, publications, and humanitarian work. His message for teens, young adults, parents, teachers and professionals is a powerful one of love, responsibility, sacredness and self-respect. By dealing with such diverse topics as eating disorders, suicide, self-mutilation, bullying, coming out, addiction, safer sex and broken hearts, he shares the pain and doubt that are part of the adolescence and teenage years.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 117
@rangerma5
@rangerma5 8 жыл бұрын
This was absolutely riveting! I wish you a very long and health life, sir.
@plfrofr004
@plfrofr004 7 жыл бұрын
I was fortunate enough to travel across part of the country with Scott. Probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. His story is riveting
@warrenmoore4743
@warrenmoore4743 5 жыл бұрын
I recently met someone who was HIV postive (I'm negative) on Growlr, but realized (this has nothing to do with status) that this man refused to love. (Again, nothing to do with status, I buried a partner who had full blown AIDS.) I realized i was being objectified as he disposed of me, as he has done with thousands of others, that he didn't love. It was devastating. tHE REAL problem with apps, is you cannot assess whether the person is a pathic player, or if the person is truly looking to bond....and it's easy to forget that we really want to bond.
@ddkphotos
@ddkphotos 9 жыл бұрын
Thank you Scott for sharing your story and spreading the word that We Are Enough! An important life changing message.
@mosichat
@mosichat 7 жыл бұрын
Damn! Excellent presentation, hard hitting & worth it!
@XNyanko
@XNyanko 6 жыл бұрын
This was something I needed to hear today....these words of encouragement and the message about being loved...
@HotGirlXander
@HotGirlXander 7 жыл бұрын
Can always rely on a TedTalk to cheer you up and inspire you
@klittlejohn0752
@klittlejohn0752 9 жыл бұрын
It's very hard to listen to Mr Fried and not consider the value of yourself and others as actual humans. His insight of how often we seek instantaneous self satisfaction without considering the consequences of our actions is a terrifying. He definitely made me uncomfortable about the actions I've carelessly embarked upon through my own life. Thank you Mr Fried, for sharing your tribulations in order to prevent me and others from falling victim to our own.
@liveyourmoments7474
@liveyourmoments7474 6 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best TED talk that I have ever heard in my life.
@BlueskyDenver
@BlueskyDenver Жыл бұрын
Beautiful speech he should have had millions of views..! I am a woman and he moved me to tears, he is so right we all hunger for acceptance and to be good enough..! I don’t have social media and I don’t do dating apps either. It is lonely at times but honestly sometimes it’s just not worth the headache and the misery with dating.
@edwinjrpinney4651
@edwinjrpinney4651 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely moving. Especially when he started to sing at the end. I’m really impressed.
@davidobenitez3866
@davidobenitez3866 5 жыл бұрын
That singing was random 😂but im glad i stopped with grindr
@ljrockstar69
@ljrockstar69 5 жыл бұрын
What is grinder? Is that a new SIT? So sorry, I from Costa Rica.
@davidgibson2407
@davidgibson2407 3 жыл бұрын
Same.
@tremaine861
@tremaine861 3 жыл бұрын
@@ljrockstar69 a hookup app
@fernandoonofri4432
@fernandoonofri4432 Жыл бұрын
This ted talk really need a 2022 version/debate
@klebberbezerra1610
@klebberbezerra1610 6 жыл бұрын
Amazing. Really amazing. I think I recognize him. I live in west village nyc and he is always around and also I saw him at pride Always educating people. Wow. Amazing speech. What an awesome person.
@rajmaryan13
@rajmaryan13 7 жыл бұрын
It's a great presentation. Although it's not anything I haven't heard from others. It was good until he started singing. It went from super to silly.
@gnarlycat
@gnarlycat 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed.
@EmersonSanPedro
@EmersonSanPedro 3 жыл бұрын
I stop using Grindr one month ago because my friend and his partner tested positive for HIV. I also get tested and thank God it's negative. My anxiety gets crazy after what happened to him.
@a.b.c.x.y.z.2967
@a.b.c.x.y.z.2967 3 жыл бұрын
How's your friend and his partner doing? What about you? 🔍
@greid1317
@greid1317 6 жыл бұрын
Internalized homophobia leads to so many problems down the line. People can unconsciously believe that no one will be capable of loving someone like then, which leads to risky behaviours and seeking love in unfulfilling, atypical ways. The remedy is definitely to let people know they are enough and that people will be able to love them for more/ longer than a (risky) hoookup
@HunterBelkiran
@HunterBelkiran 6 жыл бұрын
You're so right.
@warrenmoore4743
@warrenmoore4743 5 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@richardtj3951
@richardtj3951 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video !! I think everyone should this !
@BlueEyesBrittany
@BlueEyesBrittany 6 жыл бұрын
I never go on sites for hooking and am not familiar with the terminology but this is an eye opener of how little things matter in this world
@jwalt8019
@jwalt8019 7 жыл бұрын
Powerful.
@edunoeduno4980
@edunoeduno4980 6 жыл бұрын
i'm sorry i'm confused, you start out saying how some guy didn't disclose his hiv status to you and gave you hiv and that's not ok, but when a guy on grindr can tell you have it by the way you're beating around the bush to give an answer then quite politely turns you down you're not ok with this? if you knew the guy who gave you hiv was positive, would you not have done the same?
@micah6868
@micah6868 4 жыл бұрын
He's undetectable, meaning he cannot infect other people
@waynejeez5620
@waynejeez5620 4 жыл бұрын
This guy articulated this well.
@yeseniam1273
@yeseniam1273 2 жыл бұрын
omg you look so healthy to have had it for so long and i agree with everything thank you for making things better
@eddylopez76133
@eddylopez76133 5 жыл бұрын
Powerful talk
@tremaine861
@tremaine861 3 жыл бұрын
I laughed at because that's how we talk to each other on these app and don't ever think about the consequences!
@BlueEyesBrittany
@BlueEyesBrittany 6 жыл бұрын
It just is a dangerous and crazy world... maybe always has been
@scott7385
@scott7385 7 жыл бұрын
This is why I don't date or have relationships at all.
@BlueEyesBrittany
@BlueEyesBrittany 6 жыл бұрын
I am the same. I live alone, do not date and take no chance. Safest way to live even though lonely in some ways.
@kevinturner5157
@kevinturner5157 6 жыл бұрын
Aw scott, u should date. Your a handsome guy
@josueab8880
@josueab8880 6 жыл бұрын
Scott Kaiser I think I'm heading that way.
@gautrytube
@gautrytube 6 жыл бұрын
Stefan G because people are flawed, terribly. Fake and phony, ridiculous expectations, and play too many games. And don't love and accept people for who they are.
@Oscar_239
@Oscar_239 6 жыл бұрын
Me too Scott k.... I tried grinder thinking it would be just another dating app, the first pic a got was adick pic... And from there on the majority was that. I deleted the app. It gets lonely but oh well....
@kritisrivastava9393
@kritisrivastava9393 2 жыл бұрын
February 2, 2022. 6 years later. Thanks.
@gnarlycat
@gnarlycat 2 жыл бұрын
Sadly 6 years later and things are the same, if not worse, on Grindr and the other hookup apps.
@robertwilder5479
@robertwilder5479 4 жыл бұрын
The words he sang at the end are from the song "My Fair Share (The Love Theme from One on One)" performed by Seals and Crofts, music by Charles Fox, lyrics by Paul Williams. It is from the soundtrack to the 1977 movie "One on One" starring Robby Benson and Annette O'Toole.
@wills2652
@wills2652 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for this! I was addicted to Grindr for years and I want a real relationship. Grindr is nothing but full of the lowest of the low. The bottom of the barrel. I want a relationship with true compassion and I will never find it on grindr.
@everardolongoria
@everardolongoria 5 жыл бұрын
Why does he start singing 😂
@blackbeauty567
@blackbeauty567 4 жыл бұрын
Everardo Longoria 😂😂😂😂😂
@MAGEBEATS
@MAGEBEATS 6 ай бұрын
lol
@sunofwinter888
@sunofwinter888 2 жыл бұрын
Love this
@michaelrg3836
@michaelrg3836 4 жыл бұрын
As a poz man of 19 years, I'm finding the panic around the Coronavirus hilarious!
@HimanshuSingh-oo6zq
@HimanshuSingh-oo6zq 4 жыл бұрын
Right.. u r absolutely right
@TIVOSTUDIOS
@TIVOSTUDIOS 6 жыл бұрын
Really good
@Juanchilada
@Juanchilada 6 жыл бұрын
Inspiring
@SuperStargazer666
@SuperStargazer666 5 жыл бұрын
What was with the singing? Otherwise a great talk..
@santircastillo
@santircastillo 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Mr. Fried.
@mashondaknight9132
@mashondaknight9132 6 жыл бұрын
powerful
@tremaine861
@tremaine861 3 жыл бұрын
@7:27 is my kind of carrying on hahahahaha
@AngelRodriguez-tf1zl
@AngelRodriguez-tf1zl 5 жыл бұрын
I wish i was in the audiance😉
@43nostromo
@43nostromo 4 жыл бұрын
I was on board until he broke out in song. Was this supposed to be a lavish Broadway musical?
@equivarianthomotopy6143
@equivarianthomotopy6143 6 жыл бұрын
I hear David Sedaris.
@robertbarbeau2561
@robertbarbeau2561 4 жыл бұрын
his last words sleep with me if you dare? no homey don't do that
@mohanr4102
@mohanr4102 4 жыл бұрын
is it Tedx Talks or Tedx jingles .. rofl.. i could not get finally what he wanted to convey here :(
@ChrisMinaj2012
@ChrisMinaj2012 5 жыл бұрын
Wow 😮 we opening
@junegrace508
@junegrace508 5 жыл бұрын
❤️❤️❤️❤️
@mrpeanutbutter6094
@mrpeanutbutter6094 3 жыл бұрын
Grindr people are so picky and choosy
@hudsonm2010
@hudsonm2010 2 жыл бұрын
I don't think he is on grindr to educate people 👀
@umwha
@umwha 3 жыл бұрын
I wonder how old was he?
@rayahui3768
@rayahui3768 4 жыл бұрын
I agree with the message but it’s a bit too emotional :/
@KeltoiMagus
@KeltoiMagus 5 жыл бұрын
Great information, but a bit overly dramatic
@wimjimjams
@wimjimjams 3 жыл бұрын
If he wants people to stop judging and objectifying him, maybe he should attempt to get to know people himself. Judging by those messages he just wants to hookup.
@hudsonm2010
@hudsonm2010 2 жыл бұрын
Lmao yeah
@fatriantobong2097
@fatriantobong2097 2 жыл бұрын
he has to learn how to deal with rejection
@danthomas6587
@danthomas6587 4 жыл бұрын
Swipe left....way left
@aubreyravenl
@aubreyravenl 4 жыл бұрын
Theres one inspirational DILF that just started singing
@user-xi3bf2iu6y
@user-xi3bf2iu6y 3 жыл бұрын
All thanks to Christiana Moses for her best work in recovery my Grindr account
@2vacuumboy
@2vacuumboy 4 жыл бұрын
Grindr is bottom of the barrell,,,,period,,,,no thank you,
@pabs5270
@pabs5270 3 жыл бұрын
Today’s society is really sick...no pun intended. Yuk.
@universweet5593
@universweet5593 4 жыл бұрын
and thats why i left homosexuality and now i am a happy person
@fatriantobong2097
@fatriantobong2097 2 жыл бұрын
hahahaha
@TySwaim
@TySwaim 9 ай бұрын
Bare backing means someone loves you…….? Are you high?
@annabanana5007
@annabanana5007 3 жыл бұрын
Why on earth is he going on Grindr if he wants love? They have dating apps for HIV positive men to meet each other.
@oslo7718
@oslo7718 4 жыл бұрын
He sounds like Lin Manuel Miranda??
@tomasdellatorre4244
@tomasdellatorre4244 5 жыл бұрын
thumbs down from me, no painted pants.
@jaimearango2698
@jaimearango2698 6 жыл бұрын
I am only human born to make mistake 😎
@Zenith-ph7eb
@Zenith-ph7eb 3 жыл бұрын
So angry.
@fredsmith3456
@fredsmith3456 Жыл бұрын
You know, I sort of thought that too but I’m not sure he meant to come across that way.
@LarryBanks85
@LarryBanks85 4 жыл бұрын
I hate he singed at the end
@PharmacyTechLabs
@PharmacyTechLabs 5 жыл бұрын
Hi, no one wants HIV so you can't blame them. My advice find other men who are positive.
@tiensimon1263
@tiensimon1263 5 жыл бұрын
but if They lie to you and say negative, would that change anything? it's more safety and actually impossible to pass on the virus with modern medication like 0%.
@PharmacyTechLabs
@PharmacyTechLabs 5 жыл бұрын
@@tiensimon1263 Sure but I like to believe people are honest, if not they can always ask the person to go test.
@tiensimon1263
@tiensimon1263 5 жыл бұрын
@@PharmacyTechLabs if you're undetectable it's 0% passable now due to new medication. Now all that's left is a cure. But we have already smashed it being a big problem now.
@wimjimjams
@wimjimjams 3 жыл бұрын
I just got to the singing. This is one big cringe.
@KimPhilby203
@KimPhilby203 5 жыл бұрын
Irratating
@leahdavis2612
@leahdavis2612 5 жыл бұрын
Why do gays have to act so cheesy. Wtf was that.silly song at the end
@fatriantobong2097
@fatriantobong2097 2 жыл бұрын
lol
@joanhastings
@joanhastings 6 жыл бұрын
sick
@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax
@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax 5 жыл бұрын
What is?
@ieremias01
@ieremias01 7 жыл бұрын
A singing sissy speaker!
@damianrhea8875
@damianrhea8875 6 жыл бұрын
Jesus... Melodramatic. Overwrought. Stereotypical. Ultimately crying for approval and affirmation. Typical of certain pseudo-liberals of today's world and Ted consumers. Any more? Thank you.
@user-xi3bf2iu6y
@user-xi3bf2iu6y 3 жыл бұрын
All thanks to Christiana Moses for her best work in recovery my Grindr account
@user-xi3bf2iu6y
@user-xi3bf2iu6y 3 жыл бұрын
All thanks to Christiana Moses for her best work in recovery my Grindr account
Becoming a Better Teacher | Mariappan Jawaharlal | TEDxCPP
19:41
TEDx Talks
Рет қаралды 1,7 МЛН
Double Stacked Pizza @Lionfield @ChefRush
00:33
albert_cancook
Рет қаралды 57 МЛН
Clown takes blame for missing candy 🍬🤣 #shorts
00:49
Yoeslan
Рет қаралды 31 МЛН
A clash of kindness and indifference #shorts
00:17
Fabiosa Best Lifehacks
Рет қаралды 103 МЛН
Хотите поиграть в такую?😄
00:16
МЯТНАЯ ФАНТА
Рет қаралды 3,6 МЛН
How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen
17:37
The evolution of juggling | Jay Gilligan | TEDxHelsinki
26:03
TEDx Talks
Рет қаралды 3,3 МЛН
Double Stacked Pizza @Lionfield @ChefRush
00:33
albert_cancook
Рет қаралды 57 МЛН