My experience with it was very nihilistic as well, where I acted however I wanted because the outcome did not matter. It caused me to be very reckless and do dangerous things that I could not understand surviving and still being alive, which made me believe even more that I was already dead. It is still a thought process that I know is a slippery slope, and to dwell on it too long would make me feel uncomfortable, so simply not thinking about it and focusing on everything else that life has to offer keeps me secure in the knowledge that I, and all of this, truly does exist :)

@@maximuswalsh I never knew what nihilism was until that happened to me. I googled my symptoms and nihilism came up. I didn't do anything reckless fortunately but only because I thought this reality was kinda a game that I had to beat so I just did my "normal " routine but I certainly and absolutely thought about doing reckless things because it really didn't matter and I knew there would be no consequences because I didn't exist and I thought that even when I was at work I actually wasn't working and if a "real" person would ask my co-workers if they knew me they would not know who I was. I understand the slippery slope as well because when I first snapped out of it I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff about to fall right back into that mindset so I just refused to think about it and kept trying to move forward. Thank. U for sharing your experience with me!

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

​@@aloalo3727 hey, can we get in touch please? Do you have instagram, facebook?

Put that thought to bed man, we are very much all still here!

Thank you for sharing man, that is pretty intense so i'm not surprised it has some residual impact on you. Was it just for a brief period or does it still come back?

@@maximuswalsh It lasted for several years. I had this really bad therapist toward the end of this period. I was trying to explain the feeling to him. I said, “I feel like I must have actually died.” And he gave me this incredulous look and said, “What, do you think you’re a ghost?” And I knew at that moment he’d never be able to understand or help me. A delusion like this is hard to get out of, because, as you explained, it has its own logic, its own internal consistency. Of course the characters in this fantasy are going to try to talk you out of the idea that it’s a fantasy. And as I’ve said, I can’t say I was in a delusional state as you described. More of a feeling of, “I can’t have survived that car crash. Therefore, something else must be going on. I can totally imagine your own troubles, but I can only imagine them. I can’t say that I went fully delusional, only that I can totally see how it happened. Thanks so much for making the original video. Even at the nominal level I was at, it was tough. I can only guess at what it’s like to be fully sucked into it. But I can totally see how that would happen. Eventually I kind of just overcame the whole thing. I’m 51 now, quite a bit older than you are. Life has a way of making the terrors of existence more mundane, the closer you get to actual death. I hope you are not having any residual backtracking. But if you are, let me tell you, the older you get and the closer you come to the real thing, the less these kinds of terrible ideas will have a hold on you. I promise you, man

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you have had a troubled upbringing and so there is some inner child work to be done. You can work to reconnect to that younger version of yourself that still alive inside of you and give them the love that they were deprived of. You are now the adult that they needed when they were younger, so it is time to put the love into those empty spaces within.

Thank you for watching :)

Thank you for your comment. You are incredible too :)

Hey Samantha. I can understand. That level of experience can be world shattering, and when the foundations of our realities have been taken from underneath us, it can take a while to figure out how to rebuild them. But what a blessing. To realise the reality we were fed, from before we were born, was not reality. Most go their whole lives without realising. Good luck with the recovery, you will emerge into a much richer and more vibrant life.

Thank you so much for your compassionate response. It means a lot to me to hear stories from other who understand. It’s a very unordinary experience that leaves you feeling so alone and confused. Thank you again. My best wishes to you. Bless your heart.

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

My friend, thank you for sharing. I can only imagine having struggled with this whilst also suffering the visual representation of it as well. Well done for carrying on and dealing with it, speaks clear that you are strong of spirit. I do not know if you are aware, but in the south americas, amongst some indigenous populations, those who are born as the western world would class as Schizophrenic, are seen as the gifted ones who become the shaman, the healer?

⁠​⁠@@maximuswalsh @thedarkestmindvlogsandgame7323 aint no shaman if u antisocial …

Hey Neznim, thank you for your comment. I have just filmed myself responding to the most generally asked questions that this content has been receiving. Here is the link: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pLhygNmavNLQYps.html But if there is anything you would like to talk about further, then you know where I am. Take care

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

Yes it is a form of solipsism, which if you think about it is just the reverse of how All is One. I had got lost in believing and suffering an experience where one was all. In this way I consider this period of my life as a spiritual awakening, as it is what set me on the path to work on myself and find Spirit.

Imagine that, but all the time, every single day, whether you're on something or not.

Best thing you can do at this stage is to engage in some healthy disciplines such as yoga and meditation. Learn to be in your body and get out of your head. The more we think thoughts, the more we beleive them. Learning to be aware of our thoughts so we can quieten the chatter and change the narrative is essential.

gosh I'm sorry you lived that it sounds so unnerving and I thought desrealization was the worst.

Even though I suffered this, as I am now, to try and imagine how I felt is impossible. It is so far behind me now, it is a skin that I have long since shed. I am glad to be free of it 🙏🏻

There has been much fallout for mental health since the lockdowns, and many are still dealing with what happened to us during this time. I am sorry to hear your daughter has ended up here. But it is possible for her to free herself from this. Feel free to reach out to me if you would like to discuss what can be done. Wishing you all the best.

​@@maximuswalshWhy do people assume lockdowns are what messed up the brain despite all the evidence that COVID infections are the real cause of it. In every country suicide rate fell during lockdowns and soared again and have continued to rise steadily ever since that blissful time when we weren't all forced cruelly to go to work or school anymore has been over. Work and school cause stress and anxiety for people with problems and now they also cause repeat COVID infections which were proven early to damage and age the brain. Working and studying from home was a godsend and now we all have to be told we are lazy and worthless and abnormal again hence suicide for people with problems has risen again. Brain effects from COVID infections are what has caused previously healthy people to make more mistakes at work and feel worse, cos it is now absurd to try to blame lockdowns when it was so long ago, the only ongoing thing is repeat infections.

@@compulsiverambler1352 Where did I say that lockdowns are what messed up the brain? I said since the lockdowns, many are still dealing with what happened to us. That is to say all that people have experienced during that period of time. This space is not talking about any of that subject. This is a space for people to talk about Cotards Delusion and similar struggles. Please direct your alternative subject to somewhere more relevant. We are not talking about that here.

I cannot quite bring myself to say that it was a dark night of the souls, as I am not to familiar with what that entirely means. I believe that generally indicates a period of darkness in which one learns many things and comes out of it all the better, which I can definitely attribute periods of my life to that, whereas this period of my life had no learning in it. It was completely just confusion and delusion. There was nothing for me to learn, except for coming out of it, how to be free from the delusion. If dark night of the souls is anything to do with shadow work, then again, I would not say that this was shadow either, as I was not finding anything inside myself to work on. As I mentioned, I believed that I was dead, and with this there was nothing else but that. The only element that may come close to what you are saying is that, where I thought I was dead and that everything in my reality was "me", my subconscious, the truth is that I am not everything, but everything is me. I thought that I, as one, was all. When in truth, All is One. It was a time that led to a spiritual awakening, and it did allow me to disconnect from the path that the matrix would have me walking, so I do not totally disagree with your thoughts on it, but again, with other experiences in my life, there are definitely times that would fit the more classic definitions.

@@maximuswalsh "he term "dark night (of the soul)" is used as referring to spiritual dryness, the absence of experiencing the presence of God, but also more generally "to describe an extremely difficult and painful period in one's life". This spiritual dryness may endure for a long time." Basically it's the darkness before the dawn. Where the soul is plunged into delusion by the one. Who guides it back by showing it everything it's not. Words are slippery fish. But I wanted to make this post basically for others questioning why this happens. My dark night was not exactly as extreme. I didn't see myself as dead. But everything as unreal. As a projection. Which is to say my hang up was more based in truth. That the world is only relatively real. Lol And my dark night was it bothered me. I wanted to find something real to hang my hat on. I discovered my own BEing. And as you say it's the one. And only the one, the projections are beautiful too now. And each passing moment is a perfected NOW. The eternity of BEing. :)

If I went by "the absence of experiencing the presence of God", then that would been most of my life before and a short while after the Cotard's Delusion! Discovering the Great Spirit only happened a few years ago. Ok, so our ideas of what that meant are pretty close then generally. But again, having had passages of time that were more accurate to that definition, I would say that in this instance it would be a no. Thank you for sharing though! It is always interesting to hear others who have had similar experiences and hopefully this space will bring in more of us to share these little chats :) And congratulations on your discovery :D

@@maximuswalsh I guess my question would be, if you didnt have these "dark life shake ups" Maybe those are better words. Would you have become a seeker? Woudl the character have chosen spirituality? I feel these dark life moments are sent from the divine source. To wake us from the dream. If we had good dreams, we would never want to wake up. Dark night of the soul simply means living nightmare to me. I feel the spiritual community makes too much out of these phrases. And too much out of spirituality itself...its literally the most natural thing to wake up. We do it all the time here.

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

Me too my friend. Thank you so much, and the same to you !

Hi, thanks for your comment and my thoughts are with you and your loved one. With my own experience, which is in no way any advice, it was the drugs I was on that led to my delusion. Healing my mind required getting off of all drugs, and in the end it was meditation that allowed me to free myself. To recognise I am that which is having thoughts, not the thoughts themselves, allowed me to observe my internal dialogue and take the power away from my thoughts, that eventually led to the freedom from them. I cannot say there was a period where I did not eat or drink. Perhaps through self neglect there were times, but no deliberate attempt to do so.

Thank you for sharing Leah, that does sound like a real struggle for you. For me, it happened to show me the truth, that the reality I had been programmed into was not real and it took that reality being broken for me to understand what this experience really is. Like getting lost so you can find yourself. I believe this is why many of us go through these sorts of experiences, so that we may learn the truth.

Hi Crystal, What worked for me was a lot of work to change my life. I stripped it all back to the basics, making my life very plain and began a meditation practice, that developed into a yoga practice, and I learnt how to take power away from the thoughts that created the delusion. It took a few years, I developed the illness when I was 16, started meditating age 19 and it was around age 21/22 I could say that I was no longer suffering. I now teach all the practices that helped me turn my life around.