From what I'm learning this is part of the process of recovering..it's back and forth because unlearning this isn't a linear process. Keep holding onto your "north star", as Daniel says. Sleep will return!

Thanks so much for commenting and sharing. You know just seeing that you’re not alone is so helpful... and you know, with some willingness to learn and some courage, you’ll get there!!

Please be patient and expect speed bumps as Daniel says. Progress is not linear, I experienced progress along with many setbacks. But do not get discouraged and know that you WILL overcome this!

@@patb8138 Thanks for your response and sharing your story. My insomnia has been going on for little over a month. Just listening to your story has eased my anxiety.

I’m so very glad I’ve helped you...!

Somnophobia/insomnia is horrible! tell yourself the truth that you brain is lying to you! there is no Tiger in the room keep telling yourself this fact! if you suffer this problem before sleeping take a few minutes to blank your mind before sleeping so so smile and breathe in and out for ten minutes and remember to tell yourself that not sleeping will not kill you

We have seen this so often here Natasha, it’s so helpful knowing you’re not the only one… on the contrary this is very very common!

Hang in there Scarlett and Teresa! So much of the frustration comes from feeling that you’re unable to control sleep, control your thoughts or manage your emotions... and not human can do those things... so what always helps is a massive dose of self-kindness when you’re hard on yourself for being “unable” to do this...

How are you doing now

Hang in there Amy, many have said that when they asked their kids about this time in their life, the kids said “you had insomnia, huh, I had no clue” - we can be wonderful parents and spouses even when things are difficult on the inside

I’m so happy if I’ve helped you! Daniels’s books are a Godsend and I highly recommend you read them, they helped me so much. Sleep is important but try not to worry too much . That’s the key to getting over chronic insomnia. If you sleep for 3 hours, well that’s better than zero sleep! You will get to where you want to be, just be patient and sleep will follow. I wish you well😃

@@patb8138 yes thank you! I read the book that talks about why there's so much confusion about how sleep affects your health and that was one of my biggest worries. Now after learning from Daniel and his book I know I don't need to be scared.

@@teresahoang6593 hi - fortunately I have not had that happen in a while. Some nights I sleep better than others though. But I expect I will have a difficult night here and there. But the key is not to worry and know it’s normal. It happens to many people on occasion.

Hi Teresa, hang in there! It’s really impossible actually to not think about something, or make yourself not think about something. What can help is to allow thoughts to happen... then they become fleeting!

Hi Hidai, sorry to hear this but glad you found the channel. You know, there’s been a lot of trouble sleeping with Covid. It’s so important to know that anything that causes stress can disrupt your sleep, and this is entirely normal and expected. But when the brain gets a little confused and thinks that being awake is dangerous and a threat, and you start trying to escape this idea, that’s when ongoing struggle happens! If you spend some time here on the channel, I think you’ll find a ton of education that will be really helpful! Thanks for commenting and be in touch!!

@hidai The exact same thing happened to me, I caught Covid and actually lost oxygen while fighting the virus so it wasn’t until I found Daniel‘s channel 5 months later that I had an aha moment as to realizing that the virus did not cause any damage in my brain it was simply the fear of not breathing and trying to keep me alive I was fixated on. I let go of all the rigidness of restriction and I’m sleeping better and better every day. Incredibly grateful to this channel!

IZ, soo glad reading this and thanks a bunch for sharing/helping 😊!!

Hi Liliana, Thanks for sharing this and you know, you already have such great insights that I think will really help. You have seen that when you focus less on sleep, sleep happens easier. And of course then the question becomes, how does one focus less on it when it’s such a struggle? Well learning always helps. Because when there is no mystery then we naturally try less to investigate and focus. But also, not judging yourself or being hard on yourself when you think about sleep. That sounds a little counterintuitive but it really helps. Because if you think about sleep and then you’re mad at yourself for thinking about it, then you will think more about it! So education and self kindness go hand-in-hand. And by the way the way you started having trouble sleeping is very typical so I think you’ll really relate to a lot of the content here. Hope this helps and be in touch!!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 it just sucks because I have been out of work because of sleep and I return soon

I hear Liliana, and you know... this is very common, to take some time off because of trouble sleeping. As you can imagine, because insomnia loves attention, things often get tricky (not to be hard on yourself for taking time off of course! This was an act of self-compassion) because there’s now pressure to “get things right” and pressure to sleep. Now, on the flip side, when you’re back at work - there’s great opportunity! When you see that you can work even when you slept little, then so much of the fear fades away... hang in there and let us know how things go!!

Yey!!! So glad 😀 thanks for all the support Filip!

Once she no longer tried to beat anything, she slept better 😉 I of course purposely chose the word beat here but it’s so true that when we abandon the fight, then there’s peace. How long it takes to leave the struggle, it varies. I think for Camille the entire journey was something like 1.5-2 years, but remember, it was when she came across this channel things started to change! So once we have meaningful help, it doesn’t have to take that long… Oh and yes, stop worrying IS a abandoning the struggle which is the path to peace ☮️

When we are scared, for example scared of not sleeping, we often have panic attacks

Hi Robert! Thanks for the encouragement and you know, this is a common and very important question. And you know, people have different philosophies.... I try really to teach self kindness and a gentle way, and I highlight this because my thinking can come across as the opposite! But I hope it’s very clear that my intent always is to help!! I think just like you say insomnia is driven by fear, the fear of being awake aka fear of not sleeping. Now, when we try to avoid a real danger, like putting our seatbelts on, this serves the dual purpose of keeping us safe + the act of putting the seatbelt on teaches us/emphasizes that there is a threat. It’s like an affirmation. Now, when we try to stay safe from an internal, perceived danger, there’s that same phenomenon. The act of trying to escape imprints that we should escape and that there is a true danger! So my teaching is all about not escaping, but rather to befriend wakefulness! And I teach that anything you to try to escape leads to more struggle. One common objection when you hear that anything you do to escape being awake makes you have more trouble is that you recall this one thing that actually worked. When you took that medication, or when you were very physically active, that did indeed help. You slept more and worried less. Isn’t this evidence that you actually can escape even a perceived threat? No. But you can find a cave. In fact, this is exactly what you’re looking for when you’re scared. You’re looking for a safe place where the Grizzly bear can’t get you. And when you believe for example in a medication, or in the power of exercise, then that can boost your courage. You feel you have something at your disposal that can make you safe. Something that can help you sleep. Something that keeps you out of reach from the claws and jaws of that bear. You have a safe cave. Here’s the thing, it truly feels good having found some safety and some control. There’s no doubt about that whatsoever. The cave feels good, until it doesn't. The problem with being in the cave is that the underlying confusion hasn’t changed at all. You still believe that there is a Grizzly bear out there looking for you. You’ve just found a safe hiding spot. And sooner or later, it will find you again. When you’re going through some stress or change, you sleep little even when you take the medication or do your exercise. And now, it’s as if even the cave isn’t safe anymore. You’re once again face to face with the Grizzly bear and you have to go deeper into the cave or find a new one. Now the cave doesn’t seem so appealing any more. The place you went to for safety becomes more and more of a prison. And this all happened because it felt like something did work. It felt good having some safety, a shelter, a hiding place. This is why it is so important not to look for a cave but rather to understand that there is no Grizzly bear! There’s just a little confusion that’s all. Because when you see this, the cave actually no longer is a problem! Hope this made sense Robert, let me know if it didn’t!!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you, Daniel. I really appreciate your thoughtful response, and I agree with what you are saying. My concern in this case is in dealing with an acute mental health challenge, one that may become worse through lack of sleep. That person may be unable to see or appreciate the bear (or lack of one) at all, and need the cave as a stabilizing mechanism until they're strong enough to truly understand the genesis of their problems. I suppose my question comes down to: is it reasonable to seek that shelter as a temporary measure when there is a storm outside (mental health challenge), not just the bear (fear of insomnia)? Again, I appreciate your insight and time.

Anytime Robert! This is such and important topic. I’ve had this discussion several times... and you know, there are many nuances here and I think I am often too narrow minded (!), but my thinking is that the shelter almost always becomes a source of more fear... I know this example is a little extreme but sometimes you wonder, are drugs always harmful? And you know, I think the answer is no.... but it’s impossible to predict who will respond which way. In other words, there probably are people in the world who has felt sad, had a friend who offered them an illicit drug. They took it, felt amazing, did it a few times and then thought “nah this isn’t for me” and lived happily ever after. This CAN happen! But, should we offer everyone who feels sad an illicit drug? We intuitively feel that this is not the way, because most will feel a need to use that drug more and more. So yeah... those are my general thoughts here. But they may change! I’ve changed thinking many times!

Hi! You know whenever we sleep well, it’s because we weren’t trying! We were ok with being awake, this is a peaceful place where sleep can happen. So, if you lie awake and feel that this is what you’d like to do, without pressure or expectation... it’s helpful. If you like awake hoping this will make you sleep, then there may be some trouble. Hope this made sense and be in touch!