My husband asks me too out of kindness. And then he says you probably slept more than you did. That doesnt help either. He has been so supportive though. I also had a therapist that didnt understand. She said she had never met anyone with symptoms like mine. I didnt go back. I really believe in what Daniel says. I had a good spell almost straight after finding him but now i feel back to square 1. I am finding accepting barely any sleep really hard. Ill keep going!
@lunalinguine2 ай бұрын
From what I'm learning this is part of the process of recovering..it's back and forth because unlearning this isn't a linear process. Keep holding onto your "north star", as Daniel says. Sleep will return!
@bigvanvader31223 жыл бұрын
Pat's story is literally identical to my current situation. I'm currently trying to change my mindset and hearing her story will help.
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for commenting and sharing. You know just seeing that you’re not alone is so helpful... and you know, with some willingness to learn and some courage, you’ll get there!!
@patb81383 жыл бұрын
Please be patient and expect speed bumps as Daniel says. Progress is not linear, I experienced progress along with many setbacks. But do not get discouraged and know that you WILL overcome this!
@bigvanvader31223 жыл бұрын
@@patb8138 Thanks for your response and sharing your story. My insomnia has been going on for little over a month. Just listening to your story has eased my anxiety.
@patb81383 жыл бұрын
I’m so very glad I’ve helped you...!
@pmoran7971 Жыл бұрын
Somnophobia/insomnia is horrible! tell yourself the truth that you brain is lying to you! there is no Tiger in the room keep telling yourself this fact! if you suffer this problem before sleeping take a few minutes to blank your mind before sleeping so so smile and breathe in and out for ten minutes and remember to tell yourself that not sleeping will not kill you
@natashatwine78183 жыл бұрын
My feelings exactly about CBTi, my sleep got worse.
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
We have seen this so often here Natasha, it’s so helpful knowing you’re not the only one… on the contrary this is very very common!
@scarlettk59533 жыл бұрын
I’m dealing with severe ptsd and anxieties. I can’t sleep, because of racing thoughts and now my brain is telling me it’s almost 3am and I’m doomed, and I keep ruminating on my grief of the loss I am mourning and fear I won’t sleep. I feel anxious. I’m in a cycle on needing rest but my brain is on fire.
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Hang in there Scarlett and Teresa! So much of the frustration comes from feeling that you’re unable to control sleep, control your thoughts or manage your emotions... and not human can do those things... so what always helps is a massive dose of self-kindness when you’re hard on yourself for being “unable” to do this...
@lillianyoukhana84512 ай бұрын
How are you doing now
@antoniojesus4102 жыл бұрын
Yes thanks
@Amyyp051810 ай бұрын
Having a family in my opinion makes it so much more stressful. You’re trying to be a good mom, wife and you’re just feeling so terrible and it takes over your personality
@thesleepcoachschool819210 ай бұрын
Hang in there Amy, many have said that when they asked their kids about this time in their life, the kids said “you had insomnia, huh, I had no clue” - we can be wonderful parents and spouses even when things are difficult on the inside
@musicislife302433 жыл бұрын
My story is very similar to yours. Mine has been going on for 4 months and I'm really trying to change my mindset. I can still say I'm definitely afraid of not sleeping much as I always wake up after 3 hours and sometimes don't get back to sleep at all. I have lots of anxiety as well which causes a lot of tension and makes it hard to really relax. I'm trying to change my mindset and your advice and story really have me hope. I'm only 23 and I really want to be able to go back to school this fall for my last semester without this issue. I feel like I will be able to get there as long as I don't completely panic when I don't get the sleep I wanted. Thank you so much
@patb81383 жыл бұрын
I’m so happy if I’ve helped you! Daniels’s books are a Godsend and I highly recommend you read them, they helped me so much. Sleep is important but try not to worry too much . That’s the key to getting over chronic insomnia. If you sleep for 3 hours, well that’s better than zero sleep! You will get to where you want to be, just be patient and sleep will follow. I wish you well😃
@musicislife302433 жыл бұрын
@@patb8138 yes thank you! I read the book that talks about why there's so much confusion about how sleep affects your health and that was one of my biggest worries. Now after learning from Daniel and his book I know I don't need to be scared.
@patb81383 жыл бұрын
@@teresahoang6593 hi - fortunately I have not had that happen in a while. Some nights I sleep better than others though. But I expect I will have a difficult night here and there. But the key is not to worry and know it’s normal. It happens to many people on occasion.
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Hi Teresa, hang in there! It’s really impossible actually to not think about something, or make yourself not think about something. What can help is to allow thoughts to happen... then they become fleeting!
@adobo1970 Жыл бұрын
I just watched this content so my comment might be pretty much moot. I am very glad that Pat found you and Martin and found a way to improve her sleep. While agree that CBTi has many shortcomings, I think her lack of success with her initial provider was not necessarily due to CBTi but rather her provided did not know how to adjust to the client's needs. For example, many people fixate on sleep restriction and stimulus control when talking about CBTi. Yet a giant component of CBTi is demystification. Pat stated that her provider spent very little time if any on the cognitive part. I suspect the provider may not have spent time explaining how sleep works and dispelling the notion that there was something broken within Pat that was preventing her from sleeping. The biggest thing I see with people who post in Reddit, as an example, is that most who are struggling have very little idea of how sleep works. Many are looking for some biological reason they have chronic insomnia. Whether people follow NATTO or CBTi or ACTi or any other approach, unless they get informed on how sleep works and they demystify insomnia, I suspect they will not fully recover. Another thing that I notice is that when we talk about the shortcomings of CBTi, we are focused on the mechanics of sleep restriction and stimulus control. Before I found your channel, I came to the same conclusion that a lot of the mechanics are not as important as what it is that they techniques are trying to accomplish. Specifically, what do people do when they start down the road of chronic insomnia? They spend more and more time in bed. When I had my first bout with chronic insomnia, I was laying in bed for more than 10 hrs a day in the hopes of getting some sleep. Sleep restriction, at its core, is really just to teach you that spending more time in bed is not the solutiion. Counter-intuitively, not adding extra in bed time and in fact, shortening the bed time is a better approach. I suspect that if a person follows NATTO or ACTi, if the person spends 10hrs or more laying in bed, they will still have trouble sleeping. As for stimulus control, that has never worked for me when done as specified in CBTi, word for word. I modified stimulus control to be, stay in bed for as long as I am happy and comfortable. Leave the bed when I am frustrated or agitated. After all, the association I am trying to create is that the bed is for rest. Sleep or not is secondary. All that is just a long way of saying, CBTi, if practiced to the letter, can be rigid and perhaps not as successful. But I suspect that had Pat worked with you or Martin using CBTi techniques, she would have gotten the congitive therapy she needed as well as the flexibility in the techniques that would have helped her find more "success".
@hidaichaves88193 жыл бұрын
Hello Daniel and Everyone... Never in my life had I dealt with insomnia...I caught Covid 19 last month then and quarantined then suddenly I went a couple nights were I was having some trouble sleeping to getting no sleep at all..I do fear for my health ..
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Hi Hidai, sorry to hear this but glad you found the channel. You know, there’s been a lot of trouble sleeping with Covid. It’s so important to know that anything that causes stress can disrupt your sleep, and this is entirely normal and expected. But when the brain gets a little confused and thinks that being awake is dangerous and a threat, and you start trying to escape this idea, that’s when ongoing struggle happens! If you spend some time here on the channel, I think you’ll find a ton of education that will be really helpful! Thanks for commenting and be in touch!!
@Dolce9163 жыл бұрын
@hidai The exact same thing happened to me, I caught Covid and actually lost oxygen while fighting the virus so it wasn’t until I found Daniel‘s channel 5 months later that I had an aha moment as to realizing that the virus did not cause any damage in my brain it was simply the fear of not breathing and trying to keep me alive I was fixated on. I let go of all the rigidness of restriction and I’m sleeping better and better every day. Incredibly grateful to this channel!
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
IZ, soo glad reading this and thanks a bunch for sharing/helping 😊!!
@lilianavargas90893 жыл бұрын
Hi, what triggered my sleep issues was a night I had a panic attack and I knew I had to work the next morning and I was so worried about not sleeping . This was a month and a half ago. Some nights I sleep some I don’t but I do notice that the nights I wasn’t hyper focused on sleeping I slept better. It just gets hard not focusing on sleeping when you want to feel good the next day ughh
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Hi Liliana, Thanks for sharing this and you know, you already have such great insights that I think will really help. You have seen that when you focus less on sleep, sleep happens easier. And of course then the question becomes, how does one focus less on it when it’s such a struggle? Well learning always helps. Because when there is no mystery then we naturally try less to investigate and focus. But also, not judging yourself or being hard on yourself when you think about sleep. That sounds a little counterintuitive but it really helps. Because if you think about sleep and then you’re mad at yourself for thinking about it, then you will think more about it! So education and self kindness go hand-in-hand. And by the way the way you started having trouble sleeping is very typical so I think you’ll really relate to a lot of the content here. Hope this helps and be in touch!!
@lilianavargas90893 жыл бұрын
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 it just sucks because I have been out of work because of sleep and I return soon
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
I hear Liliana, and you know... this is very common, to take some time off because of trouble sleeping. As you can imagine, because insomnia loves attention, things often get tricky (not to be hard on yourself for taking time off of course! This was an act of self-compassion) because there’s now pressure to “get things right” and pressure to sleep. Now, on the flip side, when you’re back at work - there’s great opportunity! When you see that you can work even when you slept little, then so much of the fear fades away... hang in there and let us know how things go!!
@flipw.66373 жыл бұрын
Today I got a Nice gift at home: "This is Natto".... Woehoeee!! 😁
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Yey!!! So glad 😀 thanks for all the support Filip!
@natashatwine78183 жыл бұрын
How long did it take this lady to successfully beat insomnia? Basically, we need to stop worrying about sleep.
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Once she no longer tried to beat anything, she slept better 😉 I of course purposely chose the word beat here but it’s so true that when we abandon the fight, then there’s peace. How long it takes to leave the struggle, it varies. I think for Camille the entire journey was something like 1.5-2 years, but remember, it was when she came across this channel things started to change! So once we have meaningful help, it doesn’t have to take that long… Oh and yes, stop worrying IS a abandoning the struggle which is the path to peace ☮️
@Moody905242 жыл бұрын
Is it normal to have panic attacks from Insomnia?
@thesleepcoachschool81922 жыл бұрын
When we are scared, for example scared of not sleeping, we often have panic attacks
@robwtime3 жыл бұрын
Hi Daniel, I love your channel and mission here. I am curious what your thoughts are about sleeping aids during mental health crisis events? Part of this experience can lead to "fear of going to sleep" as your guest speaks to. Especially for the health obsessed, again to your Guest's commentary. Obviously, one would prefer to stick to good sleep hygiene and natural methods, but during a crisis someone may need support to stabilize. I'm curious to know your thoughts on this, thanks!
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Hi Robert! Thanks for the encouragement and you know, this is a common and very important question. And you know, people have different philosophies.... I try really to teach self kindness and a gentle way, and I highlight this because my thinking can come across as the opposite! But I hope it’s very clear that my intent always is to help!! I think just like you say insomnia is driven by fear, the fear of being awake aka fear of not sleeping. Now, when we try to avoid a real danger, like putting our seatbelts on, this serves the dual purpose of keeping us safe + the act of putting the seatbelt on teaches us/emphasizes that there is a threat. It’s like an affirmation. Now, when we try to stay safe from an internal, perceived danger, there’s that same phenomenon. The act of trying to escape imprints that we should escape and that there is a true danger! So my teaching is all about not escaping, but rather to befriend wakefulness! And I teach that anything you to try to escape leads to more struggle. One common objection when you hear that anything you do to escape being awake makes you have more trouble is that you recall this one thing that actually worked. When you took that medication, or when you were very physically active, that did indeed help. You slept more and worried less. Isn’t this evidence that you actually can escape even a perceived threat? No. But you can find a cave. In fact, this is exactly what you’re looking for when you’re scared. You’re looking for a safe place where the Grizzly bear can’t get you. And when you believe for example in a medication, or in the power of exercise, then that can boost your courage. You feel you have something at your disposal that can make you safe. Something that can help you sleep. Something that keeps you out of reach from the claws and jaws of that bear. You have a safe cave. Here’s the thing, it truly feels good having found some safety and some control. There’s no doubt about that whatsoever. The cave feels good, until it doesn't. The problem with being in the cave is that the underlying confusion hasn’t changed at all. You still believe that there is a Grizzly bear out there looking for you. You’ve just found a safe hiding spot. And sooner or later, it will find you again. When you’re going through some stress or change, you sleep little even when you take the medication or do your exercise. And now, it’s as if even the cave isn’t safe anymore. You’re once again face to face with the Grizzly bear and you have to go deeper into the cave or find a new one. Now the cave doesn’t seem so appealing any more. The place you went to for safety becomes more and more of a prison. And this all happened because it felt like something did work. It felt good having some safety, a shelter, a hiding place. This is why it is so important not to look for a cave but rather to understand that there is no Grizzly bear! There’s just a little confusion that’s all. Because when you see this, the cave actually no longer is a problem! Hope this made sense Robert, let me know if it didn’t!!
@robwtime3 жыл бұрын
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you, Daniel. I really appreciate your thoughtful response, and I agree with what you are saying. My concern in this case is in dealing with an acute mental health challenge, one that may become worse through lack of sleep. That person may be unable to see or appreciate the bear (or lack of one) at all, and need the cave as a stabilizing mechanism until they're strong enough to truly understand the genesis of their problems. I suppose my question comes down to: is it reasonable to seek that shelter as a temporary measure when there is a storm outside (mental health challenge), not just the bear (fear of insomnia)? Again, I appreciate your insight and time.
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Anytime Robert! This is such and important topic. I’ve had this discussion several times... and you know, there are many nuances here and I think I am often too narrow minded (!), but my thinking is that the shelter almost always becomes a source of more fear... I know this example is a little extreme but sometimes you wonder, are drugs always harmful? And you know, I think the answer is no.... but it’s impossible to predict who will respond which way. In other words, there probably are people in the world who has felt sad, had a friend who offered them an illicit drug. They took it, felt amazing, did it a few times and then thought “nah this isn’t for me” and lived happily ever after. This CAN happen! But, should we offer everyone who feels sad an illicit drug? We intuitively feel that this is not the way, because most will feel a need to use that drug more and more. So yeah... those are my general thoughts here. But they may change! I’ve changed thinking many times!
@adventurejourneyok60563 жыл бұрын
Hey deniel if I don't sleep I will just lie awake and it did help me before did get some good sleep should I do it again
@thesleepcoachschool81923 жыл бұрын
Hi! You know whenever we sleep well, it’s because we weren’t trying! We were ok with being awake, this is a peaceful place where sleep can happen. So, if you lie awake and feel that this is what you’d like to do, without pressure or expectation... it’s helpful. If you like awake hoping this will make you sleep, then there may be some trouble. Hope this made sense and be in touch!