Man soo amazing reading these lines 😊 thanks much! And btw, if you ever want to be a guest on the channel, let me know!

I think it’s one of the most helpful things, knowing you’re not alone and that no matter how hopeless things can seem, this doesn’t stand in our way!

Anytime Steven!! So glad to read this 😊

Don!! Thanks for the encouragement, glad it resonated as well!!

Anytime 🙂

It’s a very nice interview. And I’m so glad to read this comment today 🙂 And absolutely, when we do things without being afraid that they will affect our sleep, maybe especially things that people say can, it’s so helpful. It’s living a free life and just doing what we feel like without restrictions 🙂!

You drink caffeine everyday and can still sleep?? How?

Actually I probably stop drinking it about 6:00 PM, i use to not drink any caffeine at all for fear it would interfere with sleep. Now because i know that the more do or not do things because of sleep the more relax I become enabling sleep to come naturally. Sometimes however i still have episodes of not sleeping (in fact just a few days ago). But overall with my new mindset, I'm sleeping much better. It's definitely a journey. Godspeed

What do you mean by replacing sleep efforts with being awake efforts

Hi Reginald, Trying to recall, I think it means going from “I have to take this to sleep” to “I have to make sure I stay awake all day so I sleep”. We use the word effort to describe anything we do or avoid something that isn’t actually dangerous like being awake or feeling anxious.

Hi Rachy! Yes I call this the final hurdle. This is a very common situation: on ordinary days, when there’s no obligation or event the following day, sleep happens easily. But when some obligation or event happens tomorrow, then there’s trouble sleeping. When you experience this, here are some helpful things to think about! Firstly, this is what we call a final hurdle. And that’s big! You have abandoned the struggle and the one thing remaining is that you’re still trying to figure out how to sleep the day before some event. You’ve let go of almost all effort and you’re close to where you want to be! So the first thing to do is to congratulate yourself 😊 Secondly, it helps to see that all humans (or most of us!) have some trouble before an event. Sleeping like a baby the day before your wedding or an exam.. that’s a bit odd. And whenever we think of what happens to us as normal and expected, then this leads to less effort and problem solving 👍 Thirdly, it can seem like you’ve achieved sleep on ordinary days by doing something, and now you just have to figure out what to do with this last hurdle. In reality, it’s not at all like this. You have become more ok with uncertainty, less responsive, and this has naturally lead to sleep happening by its own (which it does when we abandon trying to control it). And it’s the same that will help you now. When you see that you’ve gotten here not because you overcame hurdles or got them out of your way, but because you stopped trying to jump over them or move them, that’s when you see that what brought you here will lead you where you want to be! Now how can we practically meet this situation apart from the above? I think there are two ways. Here’s the thing - the more pressured you feel, the less you sleep! So when you have these things that you think depends on whether you sleep or not, then they increase the pressure to sleep so much that it becomes very hard to sleep! As you can see, the key becomes to loosen those secondary attachments. You can do that in two ways: Detective work - find evidence from the past that you CAN look good even when you’ve slept little. That can be all you need. And even if you just find this one outlier, this one fingerprint, one piece of evidence, that’s all you need to prove that everything doesn’t depend on how you sleep! Go there in your mind - this is scarier, but really effective. You actually imagine exactly what that outcome you’re trying to avoid would be like. You imagine looking tired with dark circles and face this fear. This second way is so powerful because, if you’re willing to experience something (even if only in your imagination!) then that thing has no power over you.

Tom! Thanks soo much for the support and I’m so glad the channel has been helpful. Also, it helps much to see that you’re not alone so I was glad you found Nema’s story relatable. And you know, Alina is amazing, thanks for giving the program a change 😊

I’m so glad that they are making sense :-) I would say check out mining the comments number 18 as well as insomnia, insight number 501, I think those cover the questions nicely. Oh, and also remember, Martin Luther King said if you want peace, your means must be peaceful. When we aim to combat, there will be a struggle.

Hi Carla! So so happy to hear you’re going on a trip 😁👍! And yes I do: When you know that there’s going to be this stressor in the future and that you’ll probably sleep less well you can easily get anticipatory insomnia. There are three things that I think I really important to think about. Firstly, it may seem like because you know that you’re going to have trouble sleeping, you can do things ahead to prevent this. But this unfortunately doesn’t work. As you know, we can’t control sleep, in fact it is the desire to control sleep that causes trouble sleeping. So the first thing to do is to avoid preemptively doing things in an effort to try to prevent insomnia. This can sound kind of disappointing. But it is actually empowering because if you try to prevent it, you build up even more pressure and tension that will cause a lot of trouble sleeping. When you’re not trying to prevent anticipatory insomnia, you will neutralize this potential problem! Secondly, it may seem like something catastrophic will happen if you don’t sleep due to the upcoming event. If there have been times in the past when there was an event like the upcoming one, try to use that as evidence that although you may have had a lot of trouble sleeping - you came out on the other side! Thirdly, if you somehow managed to avoid this event that you are afraid will cause you to have a lot of trouble sleeping, then that’s typically not great. Because then it will seem like evidence that you really cannot sleep if things are different from typical. It will take away confidence and give insomnia more influence over your life. So hard as it is, try not cancel! Finally, no matter what happens, when this event is past - give yourself a huge hug and spoil yourself. You did it! This way you will have shown yourself that you can do anything, even when you’re not sleeping much, and it will build your confidence and you will not be afraid of similar events again!

Hi Dan, I just sent her an email to see if she’d consider being a guest again, it’s so helpful to find that we aren’t the only ones with a difficult experience, and even more so to see that it can fade away. With this said, I’m very sure her answers would be the same as from your coach, or from anyone else who’s left the struggle. So glad you found our little ecosystem Dan and that you have us a chance to help within Bedtyme 😊 and with some willingness to learn and do the inner work, I have no doubt you’ll find the struggle fade.

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks so much!

@dandashnaw8452 anytime! She actually replied right away and we are setting something up. You can email your questions to nerissa@thesleepcoachschool.com so I can ask her. Best!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 That is wonderful! I just sent over a few questions, I can't wait!

Hi Rochelle, Sorry to hear but glad you’re here and asking… this playlist is where I try to organize what I think are some of the most helpful things to learn: kzfaq.info/sun/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj Hope this helps Rochelle

Glad to hear Leslie, you can find out more on our website

Hey there! Thanks for sharing your experience. Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.

Hi! Neither has been shown to cause any problems, and knowing this often helps much!

Hi Natasha, I know you were asking Néma, but I'll reply in next Mining the comments, hope it will help.

Glad to hear!! You know, I think often conflict is what matters. The problem with medications or supplements happens when there is a conflict. If someone takes medication and has no problem with that whatsoever, they are ok with taking it until further notice, great! 0 conflict. If someone isn’t taking medication, also great! 0 conflict. When someone is taking medication but rather wouldn’t, that’s where we have conflict. We have two conflicting interests of sleeping well and not taking medication. And this is where things get tricky. Because the tension and preoccupation that comes from the conflict makes it harder to sleep well and see that you can sleep and not be bothered by jerks without them. So what to do? When you have this conflict there are two good options. You can change how you think about taking a medication. When you’re ok with it, there’s no conflict! You can stop taking it, then there’s also no conflict! Off note, this program works great either way. The one thing to add though is that it works great if there’s no conflict + medications are not used conditionally. If someone takes medication every night at the same time and same dose - no problem! Because it will be a non factor. If someone takes no medication, also no problem. When someone on the other hand takes medications here and there, different ones, different dosage, waits to “see if they can sleep” before taking them, then there’s lots of confusion which makes things harder. A helpful step is often what I call to vitaminize medication. Meaning to remove judgement and self-criticism. Think about how people approach their nightly vitamins. Are they convinced they are essential for well being… probably not. Do they think they are very potent and it’s a must not to skip at any point… not really. Now more importantly, does anyone feel guilty for taking some vitamins because they want to be well and healthy? Absolutely not! Does anyone criticize themselves for not being able to live well without taking vitamins? Not at all! So can one think the same about sleeping pills? I believe it may not be super easy, but really there’s nothing that makes it impossible. We can look at taking sleeping pills just as a means of taking care of ourselves, knowing that they can’t make you sleep or do anything very significant, and without judgement or criticism. Just like vitamins.

Hi! Thanks for the support 😊 Let me share some thoughts on this! - The reason that it is helpful to get up about the same time every morning is that it keeps you from chasing sleep. When someone has never had any trouble sleeping they really don’t have any relationship with sleep or being awake at night. It’s not on the radar at all. When you start having trouble sleeping what happens is that sleep seems to escape you and becomes something you really desire/crave/long for. Being awake at night becomes something the brain thinks of that as a threat and something that you try to get away from. This is the narrative that keeps Insomnia going. So when you have a night when you slept a little and you simply want to get some more sleep because it would feel good, then it’s really no problem sleeping in! On the other hand, when you have a night when you little and you’re craving some more sleep, you just want to maximize how much sleep you get, you’re trying anything you can to get some more sleep, in this scenario it is not good to sleep in because you’re reinforcing that narrative that is keeping insomnia going. So what matters is truly the intent. If the intent is to maximize how much sleep you get and you’re chasing sleep, it’s best to get up. If you feel really tired however and you just want to sleep a little bit extra so you feel better, go ahead, enjoy! - As for supplements and medicines, conflict is what matters. The problem with medications happens when there is a conflict. If someone takes medication and has no problem with that whatsoever, they are ok with taking it until further notice, great! 0 conflict. If someone isn’t taking medication, also great! 0 conflict. When someone is taking medication but rather wouldn’t, that’s where we have conflict. We have two conflicting interests of sleeping well and not taking medication. And this is where things get tricky. Because the tension and preoccupation that comes from the conflict makes it harder to sleep well and see that you can sleep and not be bothered by jerks without them. So what to do? When you have this conflict there are two good options. You can change how you think about taking a medication. When you’re ok with it, there’s no conflict! You can stop taking it, then there’s also no conflict! Off note, this program works great either way. The one thing to add though is that it works great if there’s no conflict + medications are not used conditionally. If someone takes medication every night at the same time and same dose - no problem! Because it will be a non factor. If someone takes no medication, also no problem. When someone on the other hand takes medications here and there, different ones, different dosage, waits to “see if they can sleep” before taking them, then there’s lots of confusion which makes things harder. A helpful step is often what I call to vitaminize medication. Meaning to remove judgement and self-criticism. Think about how people approach their nightly vitamins. Are they convinced they are essential for well being… probably not. Do they think they are very potent and it’s a must not to skip at any point… not really. Now more importantly, does anyone feel guilty for taking some vitamins because they want to be well and healthy? Absolutely not! Does anyone criticize themselves for not being able to live well without taking vitamins? Not at all! So can one think the same about sleeping pills? I believe it may not be super easy, but really there’s nothing that makes it impossible. We can look at taking sleeping pills just as a means of taking care of ourselves, knowing that they can’t make you sleep or do anything very significant, and without judgement or criticism. Just like vitamins.

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thanks a lot that really helped

Anytime!

Sorry to hear Marci, feel free to ask any questions here and we will try to share something helpful.

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I’m just at my wits end. I haven’t gotten a good nights sleep in years (literally). Doctors have tried every sleeping pill in the market and nothing keeps me asleep. 😑 I just need help but nobody seems to be able to fix my problem

Oh I see, well I think you’ve definitely come to the right place Marcia. And you know, understanding why nothing works I think is a really helpful first step. Here, I think this can really help Marcia: This is natto - the perfect place to start learning! kzfaq.info/sun/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you. kzfaq.info/sun/PL6RQ1GS7B1cj68v9hdoXYv_fpOR65oI3U

Hi RS, It sounds like this would make a great article to review here on the channel. Can you send a link! Btw it’s always the same, all ideas, not founded on double blind multi center studies that could show causality.

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 search it up

@@raosahebsuryavanshi84 His time is valuable. Why he should look up your reference for you? SMH.