"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone" - Robin Williams

I once asked a 94 year old woman if she was lonely living alone - she said - there are a lot worse things than living alone - and one of them is living with a person you don't like.

"Men in a sexless marriage cheat to remain in that marriage, Women cheat to get out of it". Profound.

Better than most comedians out there. Perfectly elegant in her delivery with a touch of cheek. She’s an excellent speaker.

Being with someone that makes you feel alone, is worse than actually being alone.

There is no more lonely feeling in the world than being needed for what you can provide and being unwanted for who you are.

When I got married, I agreed to fidelity, not celibacy.

If you're getting nowhere with your partner, and you are just over it, tell them. Propose parting ways. If they want to make it work, agree on a schedule, and honor it. If they can't change, don't look back. Happiness is out there. You aren't getting any younger.

Better to be single wishing you were married than married wishing you were single - just my two cents.

It’s destructive. Single life is better than the feeling of being unwanted and neglected.

Not always the women. My ex was always tired, busy, "not tonight" ,etc ... as a woman I was embarrassed to talk about this for years because I thought. When I finally discussed it with friends, I discovered many of my girlfriends were experiencing the same thing. It's not always just the women.

Been married 19 years and we still do it 3-4x a week. I can’t get enough of my husband. Ever. Give it to me every day. Love it.

This reminds me of something I read in a Dear Abby column years ago: "It's better to be alone than to wish you were."

I am leaving a 17-year sexless marriage because she just 'did not have time for it'. She worked a part-time job at 15 hours a week but seemed to be busy quite often and 'fall asleep' when I would come to bed. I gave 100% into the marriage and she put 0% into the marriage, concentrating on what she wanted instead of our relationship. She is still angry I filed for divorce. I am past caring. It is time to find someone who will love me and not just use my resources.

What an awesome episode. I’m about to go find the one(s) before, and look forward to the coming ones with this guest. Thank you!

👏👏👏👏👏 love how so honest and truthful You simplify these matters for us to understand.thank you for presenting these issues in a world where people are lost for answers.

All of it is true. Ending up in a sexless marriage is very lonely. Falling so in love, having a healthy relationship in the beginning and then nothing as time goes on can make a person fall into a depression. Marriage without passion is an empty place to be.

Q: what’s worst then sleeping alone in your bed? A: laying next to someone in bed and have no physical interaction at all.

Connected to the internet! Honestly, the number of times I’ve seen couples in a restaurant together yet glued to their smart phones.. leaves me glad to be married to myself. And actually I’m taking myself on another extended honeymoon. I’m finally a happily married man.

I'm so broken and depressed. This is my marriage for 4 years now. We're two ships passing in the night most days. Most words out of her mouth directed towards me are critical. She loves our children at least. To all the husbands out there going through this but wanting to hold on, you're not alone, even though regularly you may feel like it...

After 39 years of marriage, I find myself to have a strong desire for my wife. I find her far more interesting at 58 than I found her to be at 19 when we first met. At times it is a struggle to connect just due to so many things going on, but it is all about the commitment. As the husband, I cook, clean, shop and take care of the house. The fact that my wife is not exhausted all the time really helps. In the long run it is a partnership with give and take.

WOW, Maureen! You described my marriage to perfection. I did all the cooking and housework and child care (6 kids) PLUS worked 50 hours a week. But any time I wanted "time" with her, she was "too tired," "too busy with something." or just "not interested." And then after 11 years SHE left me, saying I never did anything with/for her! To top it off, the day after the divorce was finalized by the court, she married the guy she'd been seeing the whole time. Sexless marriage? More a thoughtless, uncaring marriage, I would say.

I've been married for 17 years. We had our kid 5 years later. Long story short, I've been lonely in my marriage for the last 12 years. I'm a great, compassionate guy and a devoted father. I have absolutely no issues with E.D. whatsoever... I mean what I'm a doing wrong here...? Up untill seeing this video, I thought our situation was unique and outside the realm of normalcy... This was a real eye-opening story.

I love that you share your vast experience so generously in service of humanity. Your sense of humour is fabulous

I have been married to my wife for twenty eight years. She is gorgeous and I am still crazy about her. I can't say why we have got along so well. We just always do. I think she is the most gorgeous woman in the world. We get along very well in every aspect. I wish the same for everyone

"You are more likely to die from loneliness than from alcoholism or excessive eating." Wow.

I am 72 years old and learned more from this video than I knew. Thank you.

Thank you for this conference!!!

When you’re in love, wonders happens. When you get married, you start wondering what happened.

I never knew what loneliness is till I got married.

Great talk. Informative and entertaining!

Affection Deprivation. I was never loved. Now I'm 34, lonely and very very depressed. When NOBODY touches you and doesn't WANT to touch you, you feel unlovable.

A lot of people get married because of lust not love. They basically confuse the two. Once the lust runs out so does the marriage.

"Life's greatest desire is to LOVE and be LOVED" - Hesiod (750 BC)

Timeless talk that holds up 7 years later! Great stuff, and so true.

Am convinced beyond any doubt that this is one of the best speech I have heard so far. Thank you Maureen for making it so short ,sweet and funny 😄. I want more of this sort please. Can you direct me to the well there of

Oh my god. THIS is what a good Ted talk is like. Witty, direct and informative.

Sooner or later you just get tired of begging for attention .

Well done …great speech and I love that she was promoting marriage …🙏🏾

When is the last time you saw someone give an hour long talk/ speech from memory? She is clearly an accomplished speaker, this was enjoyable to watch for that reason alone, says so much about the world we live in, where real skills are scarce.

When you hear "No" too often, you tend to stop asking, even if you're as helpful as you can be.

Being married for 25 years I can pass on this chunk of wisdom. Two people working together as a team can bring rewards beyond explanation. Give each other space to be individuals.

Love this!! So enlightening. Puts so much into perspective.

There’s virtually no intimacy in my marriage, my wife had shown no interest for years on end. Then out of the blue she initiated physical intimacy. But now I cannot be intimate with her. I no longer associate her with physical intimacy. After years of rejection that part of me that found her desirable has died. When I could no longer perform, she got angry at me and accused me of not loving her, I still love her very deeply and need her in my life, but I felt miserable most of the time and started drinking. I’m a happy drunk, but I know it’s not the way to cope and have stopped drinking. I’m still miserable most and just waiting for life to end. It so hard to explain anything to a woman.

Sometimes i get more knowledge in comment section than the video itself.

Alone is the worst when you are married

This happens to women too. I'm in a sexless marriage, the amount of pain and rejection is unbearable. I thought things would get better, it's been 10 years. 😥

I live alone now but I am not lonely. When I slept next to my wife who had no interest I felt terribly lonely.

"Only about 7% of married couples set the sheets ablaze." That hit deep, its powerful...

My grandmother was from the old country she used to say the day after you marry someone you wake up with someone else.

Wow....couples make love 58 times a year? That would be my definition of heaven at this point 🤣🤣

Superb! What a joy to absorb her intellect and words of wisdom.

This TED Talk needs to be shared far and wide.

Being told to "Sort yourself out, it is only friction" week after week, month after month really riled me. So much for the warmth, closeness and connection of a intimate relationship. The result was animosity, emptiness and the complete loss of self worth.

Amazing Maureen, you nailed this subject.

I stayed at home to look after our twins from the day they were born until they started school. The house was always clean and tiday and dinner was always cooked. It was me who put the kids to bed most nights. I couldn't have done more while my wife worked as a school teacher. Still wasn't enough. We separated. Not only could I not give any more, I now feel like I can't love another woman. She met someone on a dating site within two years, I've remained single with joint custody of our children, for almost 5 years. Too broken to love again!

The poor want to be rich...The rich want to be happy...The single want to be married...and the married want to be dead: Ann Landers

Better to be happy alone than to be married and miserable

What a great talk! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Great video. But let me talk about something important, I see a lot of young people and less young people making mistakes that I think they shouldn't be making. I believe that everyone, young or old investing, should have a business plan that will boost their financial return from three figures to six figures. The investment can be your retirement plan or your future plan, whatever you want, but the most important thing is that you have an investment that is worthwhile.

I should play the content of this video three times a day to my roommate, sorry I mean my wife!!!!!

I wear underpants in the shower because it’s wrong to look down on the unemployed.

I tried talking about this with my wife (we’re Latino) it did not go so well haha, but we’ll get through it. Thanks for having this conversation, I think it’s really important. - Man on the couch

Such a great talk ❤

This was my problem!!!!!! "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone"

In regards to the part about loneliness: My advice: learn to play a musical instrument, especially guitar or piano. You then always have something fun to do, something you can do by yourself, something fun that will occupy you and keep you from feeling bored or lonely or thinking about any problems you may have. Playing guitar kept me from committing suicide when my wife of 12 years, whom I loved very much, left me for another man. I am retired now and am never bored. There are hundreds of songs I love that I want to learn on guitar. I know so many retired people who are constantly traveling just because they have nothing else to do. They are bored out of their minds these days due to the COVID-19 preventing them from traveling. I actually feel sorry for people who don't know how to play a musical instrument. It is, in my opinion, the best hobby you can have. And it's a LOT cheaper and safer that traveling! Rock on! P.S. Learn the ukulele It's hard to be lonely or depressed when you're strumming a uke. Steve Martin said the same thing about the banjo

I enjoyed her lecture and will definitely share it with others. Thank you

Que aula Magna, foi um excelente aprendizado.

I'm glad for these talks, I hope lots of people see that they can get educated and talk about anything with their partner, and have a fulfilling relationship. A lifetime companion is such a blessing.

I’m 21 years married. There are sometimes bumps in the road, kids, work, fatigue etc. but its still like our honeymoon when we do bond together

Very inspiring and interesting speech. You raise a topic undermining many couples I know, if not all after 7-8 years of mariage…

Amazing and very true thanks for you and Ted for such this speech

giving time to your spouses rather to your smart phones. very well said

Very Good Talks it is with the rest being left as one’s homework! Thanks a Million Maureen!😁👌

Right on Maureen, good show, perfect way to explain the problem.

I was very fortunate. My husband and I were married over 70 years at the time of his death at the age of 89; we enjoyed each other (at least weekly) until we were well into our mid 80’s. Our teen-age marriage was one of the exceptions. How blessed we were.❤

"Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage." --- Benjamin Franklin

This video is very powerful and true to the core of relationships between 2 people, partners. Wake up everyone before you loose your love ones. ❤️

Great talk! Very informative and funny!

Great talk .. sad but true .. totally spot on

Dont be in a failed marriage. Don't punish yourself for the other person's incompatibility ! YOU OWN YOUR OWN HAPPINESS !

I lost my virginity at 18...and I found it again when I got married

Really great talk, thanks so much.

This is such a vital topic.

Excellent video Maureen. Great delivery coupled with comedic undertones help the complex topic seem a bit more simplified.

I hate how much of this is true in my life.

If you are have repressed trauma from childhood you will put up with anything rather than face your own internal pain. Of course this is not a conscious decision. You will not know any difference. This applies to many.

"Better to be single and lonely than married and miserable".

This was absolutely phenomenal!!! I love her knowledge, compassion, sense of humor, authenticity, love and devotion to making this world a better place!!!!! 💞💥💞

I would much rather be single any day of the week than be with the wrong person.

Gonna try that end one for sure! Thank you so much for this.

Very interesting,never thought about it but now you gave me something to think about

I'm 56 years old. Been divorced for over 12 years. After this TED talk, I'm glad I'm single and don't have to deal with the stresses of a sexless marriage!

You hit every nail squarely on the head. Fantastic talk Maureen!

Amazing and informative!

Absolutely awesome words!!

Amazing talk. Women also feel the rejection in a relationship. Nobody should stay in a sexless, loveless relationship 🥰🥰

At 73, this talk was still valuable.

I respect the courage to speak on this...👍

Very Insightful Talk👍🔥