😎

Fredrik is an angel and we don’t deserve him

You're rad as hell. Thanks for your entire catalogue of work. You talent and dedication to this art is a beautiful display. Thank you for sharing it with the world! :^)

Lmao

I need the whole video, fredrik senpai ^_^

ahaha XD

that’s kind of sweet 😢

It sounds like a cockatiel to me-- my own likes to "remix" things we've whistled to him into his own songs; I wonder if Terry's was doing that, too? Music randomized by a computer, randomized by a bird...

It sounded like normal cockatiel banter to me? What part is odd?

Sarah H No way did that sound normal. The normal squawking sounded normal, but the 8-bit sounding monotonous repeating song didnt

I see what you did there

imagine if chalex made his own OS. it would run like windows 98 on library computer lmao

@@waifu_png_pl6854 holy shit you called him chalex im laughing so fucking hard

Lmao nice 🤣

To be honest Terry is like The God

My best friend in high school went on to develop schizophrenia in his 20s and I can't talk to him anymore. It breaks my heart. I miss him

@@joshuakuehn who says you can’t?

​@@wolfetteplays8894 the voices

Remember one schizophrenic patient who would end up screaming at some of the nursing staff, then stops dead, walk to the little kitchen bit in the ward makes a cup of tea then drink it in one gulp, have a pleasant chat with any other patient about then walk back over and continues as if nothing happened. Miss working on the wards, glad of everyone I met there, was a really interesting time.

@@wolfetteplays8894 the schizophrenia

This cracked me up, sounds exactly like something my least stable friends from college would say lol

At least he knows how to play undertale

@@Flavlav but thats just a theory

@Serpico THANKS FOR WATCHING

The current Pope is very well educated and almost certainly knows what a compiler is. He probably couldn't write one though, so it's still 1-0 to Terry.

Plans for the Creative Commons wow the current communist pope is educated 😂

:(

@@idontcareanymore7078 you're not supposed to care XD

@@2st486 aw shit you caught me

These videos are disturbing and scary =/ These stories would make great psychological thrillers...

Down the Depression Hole

This is damn dark especially when you consider how scientists estimate elephants will be extinct by some point.

@@normanmai7865 We’ll all be extinct at some point

@@normanmai7865 we're within a few years of cloning mammoths, I'm sure there's at least enough Elephant DNA to bring them back if we need to. I hope.

@@fartquaviasdingle7876 we can replicate the DNA, we are very far away from cloning of any kind.

@@allistairkumaran3582 Scientists made a huge meatball of mammoth meat like a month ago

The scariest part is that he was being treated. Just it wasn't enough. The American healthcare, and mental healthcare system is pathetic. He was getting support, but it simply wasn't enough, and he ended up still falling through the cracks. Truly tragic, but also truly preventable.

In these kinds of situations i believe it'dbe very real and valid to send him to a psych ward until the right treatment is found and his condition can be stabilized. My brother also has schizophrenia but is living alone in peace & indefinite medication that works. edit: in Finland.

@@TheZINGularity Good luck to you and your brother, divergency can be a struggle, but everyone is important in my eyes.

@@elijahchristopher3755 I might have come off a bit misleading, my brother isnt being held at a ward or anything, he lives alone merrily in arguably better mental health than me 🤣But thank you in any case.

@@TheZINGularity Of course!

That literally made me tear up

1:12:07

@@boardlife27 same, I felt his anguish

@@Huacayan 🥺

"You are good, and I think I've made myself hatred for some reason"

oh man, this is part of the video which makes your hair stand on end

Oh yeah, that moment almost made me cry.

This person makes me sick and the quote is interesting, its like a racist talking philosophically about life. 1:10:00

Yeah, that part let me thinking too

@gabriel I don't care, I have no respect for him. He wasn't saying the n word randomly he used it in a controlled manner when talking go people. People who are schizo can't control the words they say often repeating the same word. I don't think he's schizo. He's just a POS who think he's the smartest

That part really broke me, its like you can see on his face hes becoming lucid and almost seeing himself, then he immediately falls into a state again. heart breaking to watch.

And you’re such a master of understanding. King douche

We live in a world only Terry could understand

I feel like that 24/7. I've been recently telling my mother how confusing and contradictory the world is in my eyes... It's hard to communicate to somebody how it feels to never be comfortable in your own skin

You made me cry man, literally

That's just real

This part made me cry, he has no control over his own psychotic mind but he has moments of lucidity when he can see how he's hurt her and apologizes, saying he's remembered he loves her. Tears.

Up until that point I viewed Terry as tragic but comical figure. After that I was like 'ohh man...' didn't find him amusing at all afterwards. Only tragic.

I mean, all domestic abusers are like that.

@@iliketurtles2531 true but here it's about mental ilness more than just abuse

I like fried chicken and so does god

Adultery? Can be good. smelling farts? "Sodom" :D

Classic god complex

@@StarsWithScars Are you implying God doesn't like elephants?

Fabian Kehrer you heard it here first! No more eating ass lol

That bit always kills me. He's so vibrant and lucid... He deserved so much more from the world than what he got

Very powerful writing. Thanks for sharing.

as a person with a psychotic disorder (not schizophrenia) i wish you the best and also let's hope for the destigmatization of our disorders in the future

@@junolysses I have autism and ocd and although it isn’t the same, I hope for all of us affected by mental illnesses or developmental disorders to be treated with the respect that we deserve.

God, what a good string of comments. You all make me want to be a better man. Thank you.

This comment hit me hard emotionally; I felt genuine tears welling up as I read this. Agreed 100% with everything you have to say, and though I'm not religious myself, God bless you bro. You make me want to be a better person.

109 Imps is on the Brutal Doom guys list from this day I think ^^ for the mortal sin on confusing large narrow sighted publisher decisions with the end all be all of fps's ;)

holy shit, Tetris battle royale...

@@shupperwomp duuuuude. Have a side bar that shows where the piece will go while doing a battle royal, you can change it's position by a jump slam or something (can kill people) and a charging run (can also kill) to move it over a lane. That would be huge for a week 🤣

he's kinda right. Tetris boomed up again for awhile and modern FPS are pretty mediocre.

Modern FPS is one game genre that will probably keeps till eternity...

Grohlvana in some way i found it very uplifting. I guess it was his sheer vision, dedication and talent/creativity. Sadly along with mental illness that got the best of him... but has inspired me to work harder on my projects and strive for the level of achievement he was chasing

I have schizophrenia. I'll be sure to kill myself before it goes that far.

That’s rather dark.

This just makes me feel sad. I'm hurt that no one was able to help this poor man.

@@informitas0117 schizo disorders aren't progressive. getting regular, effective treatment can manage your condition for life. good luck.

It wasn't even a 3D printer, it was a milling machine, something still insanely expensive compared to 3D printers. Had that project gone somewhere, it very well could have led to an entirely different maker scene nowadays

Don't forget he was racist

@@CodFishay Yeah, that's just another one of his many virtues

By most accounts he refused help for a long time

You can't force healthcare on people who don"t want it

He was a racist fuck him

4chan in a nutshell

@@michaelallen185 why does 4chan still exist?

It was funny tho

Ken It doesn't

John Bolden III they found two terrorist sites in the Middle East. They found landmarks in the background of terrorist videos, calculated distances and countless other things, and one user with a very strong connection in the Russian military, called in air strikes, with all of the evidence and calculations. After scouting the grounds afterwards, the users of 4chan were _right._ There were terrorists hiding out there, and they had been wanted for a long time.

During the clips of his livestream when comparing the early hours and the caffeinated "30+ hours awake" moments, it's almost night and day. While obviously not healthy or sane, you see little glimpses of self-realization of his behavior. I'm.. sad now.

Its so strange because I couldnt really get what he was trying to say basically 100% of the time but this moment was really eye opening which in itself is really confusing because we all consider this guy to be delusional yet he has able to provide a big revelation to me

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/a5ODfa5708Cdk5s.html Here is also a very good moment where he spoke quite lucidly about his life experiences.

Very sad

I have to agree. I have a lot of "bird ideas" of life and nature of the globe and universe. But from this day on I will keep calling them Bird ideas, only to answer honestly if someone asks me why I call them that.

Certainly isn't unique to 4chan. Seen death threats ranging from Twitter and any number of places. People act really out there on the web.

Daniel Larson is one that I feel particularly bad for. Same situation

is always the same. they dont care about the person they are laughing at, they just dont want their source of entertainment to die. they will " help " them, the same a jackass throw a banana to a monkey in a cage, is just for their own amusement.

​@@theepicduck6922 They are definitely not as viscious on twitter. As much as it goes for appearences, and the youtube videos you've seen, twitter hardly compares to 4chan. The most youll get is some 12 year old white girls saying "kys" and "grow and change as a person", with you maybe being doxxed. On 4chan, you will definitely be doxxed.

Lol was that black guy who threatened to brutalize him from 4 chan?

@@fatisdead7150 What an awful thing to say.

@@fatisdead7150 u re fucking asshole u know

​@@fatisdead7150 bro, the guy was obvs delusional, theres no way to tell what he actually thought

fatis dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@@fatisdead7150 there is a reason why people who are mentally insane do not receive the death penalty or go to prison for committing murder, but rather go to psychiatric hosptials: its because they cannot be held accountable for their actions, as they do not hold proper control over them. Do you even understand what schizophrenia is? Its a very powerful psychosis that can't be fully controlled, even with drugs. If anyone is a filthy, immoral and ignorant pig, then it must be you for thinking that a cripplingly psychotic person should be held accountable for their racist statements and judged harshly.

Solophent II this gave me an existential crisis

this Is actually super deep as crazy as he was, he makes some sense

Basically how it feels like to be trapped

@@Sly_Spy "I have no mouth, and I must scream."

@@buddygang9834 You dont code an entire OS by being a total idiot. Sucks a lot of genius's tend to have these mental problems. A little lack of a chemical in the brain and any one of us could have turned out that way.

@@mirmir8116 ok

@@mirmir8116 chill they had the same idea, care for a cup of tea?

He was a minor genius.

Something about his English makes me feel like even Satan would keep a good distance away from him

I think he's talking about himself when he said that...like he can't tell what's real or not cause of his sickness and he is a little aware of it sometimes but all he can do is try to live safe and do the best he can even though he can't fully understand the world

That clip was heartbreaking

dispite it all, all the delusions and bullshit. he was a son. he was a brother.

I heard it differently. ''I'm trying to figure out why I remember that I love you'' meaning that he couldn't remember the reason he loved her

@@dom_MillenniuM I think he was saying he does remember that he loves her, he just didn't understand why he suddenly remembered

What? Lol?

That's overstating it significantly. Terry didn't write a full modern OS, he wrote essentially a 64-bit version of DOS32 with a barebones thread scheduler and terminal/GUI on top. It's not even in the same ballpark as something like Windows 3.1. In your car analogy, he hand built a 1 cylinder lawnmower engine with the crankshaft connected straight to the wheels and 2 lawn chairs duct-taped on top. His JIT compiler is actually more impressive from a programming perspective. The rest of it -- the graphics library/software tools/games/etc. are not particularly spectacular when you realize a talented programmer had 10 years of free time with nothing to do but sit in front of his computer. Not pissing on the guy, just keeping things in perspective.

@@funkyfedora5972 You realize that Terry didn't lookup on the internet how to code any of it tho right. He believed it was a sin against god to research that sort of thing because he wanted to find new ways of doing things so he would have essentially written it all himself and then he could finally phone home to god via the software. That was the whole point of it, a modern day noahs ark. He was instructed by god how to code it allegedly.

​​​​​​@@Runescape.I'm not too deep into the lore, but I don't know how true that is. The guy had been on the internet for years, had a masters in EECS and had apparently worked on embedded systems code for one or more companies before he became too disabled to work. He therefore not only had formal education in the basic theory of OS design and systems level programming, he also had experience with the actual low-level code of one or more commercial systems. Now if you told me he built his OS and compiler without ever seeing assembly code or consulting the Intel x64 developer docs, then I'd say he was a real genius. But as far as I can tell, he was just a talented programmer with a decade of time on his hands. All of the really tough parts of OS design -- preemptive multitasking with synchronization, efficient virtual memory management, a framework for drivers, a security architecture, asynchronous interprocess and network communication -- he sidestepped completely. He also seems to have retconned a lot of things in a self-serving way. The "God commanded 640 4-bit" stuff was originally "My screen painting algorithm is too simplistic to run 8 or 24-bit without maxing out the CPU." It's also worth pointing out that, as far as I know, nothing he wrote was ever really validated or alpha tested. There are almost certainly major issues with his code that will never be known, and it seems he went out of his way to avoid implementing things that would have made validating his work easier. OS keeps crashing? Well, there's no process separation and everything is ring 0, so maybe it's the program's fault. Does it adhere to network protocol standards or does it fail to communicate with other devices? No network stack, so no way to tell. Etc. Again, I'm not pissing on the guy's programming ability. But I don't think he was Mozart with schizophrenia.

​@@ptolemaic3238holy cringe

@@funkyfedora5972 you're saying a lot of nothing

True

Really makes you remember how much foundation has been laid over decades for programmers. Taking it all away makes it a nightmare to make anything yet this man manage to basically do all that

@@D00000T I’ve seen programmers who don’t even have basic understanding of how a compiler works All they do is pressing the green arrow inside their IDE

@@D00000T *by programmers

@@martinsauer8856 I've seen construction workers who don't even understand the chemistry behind concrete All they do is press the green button on their big truck that goes brrrr

I hate to be a downer here, but I think his experience is not isolated in the slightest, at least in the US. I bet for each of the people like him, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar people that go unnoticed by society. It's kind of heartbreaking, knowing they used to have families and friends...

Schizophrenia is a degenerative mental illness - much like Alzheimers progression can be slowed down but not stopped or reversed. At the point where Terry became unemployed effective treatments were virtually nonexistent and even today there is little that can be done about advanced Schizophrenia.

@@WahotsW yeah but how many of them wrote their own compiler? and OS?

orian cunningham stupid point, you’re missing the big picture, yes he did great, remarkable things, but there are thousands out there just like terry that are failed because of the world we live in

@@thewuthgraad685 r/woooosh

Terry's creation will last forever as one of the most impressive projects. His knowledge and creativity is boundless, like heaven.

@@user-xz4og4xo3j I agree. A lot of what he did was things we think, but just don't act on because we know it's crazy.. they never knew they were being crazy and fall into a pit

Hundreds upon hundreds of comments and literally nobody has mentioned how a weird loyalty to some 'Murican Evangelist hyper-Christianity probably pushed him WAY beyond the pale 🤔

@@alexritchie4586 yeah but anyone who's crazy will take what's said to them and use it to rationalize their behavior. It could've been anything

@@alexritchie4586 although I will admit the major "Christian" evangelists use the same mental tricks a psychic uses. Along with using mentalism to profit and ruin the psyche of thousands. He probably ran into that as a kid for sure

And think how he's only known because he constantly reached for an audience, there are more like him out there (some dying in accidents too) because society stigmatizes and ignores the mentally ill.

he was being alienated and people refused to let him talk because they believe forums are big buisness.

@@HamguyBacon not to mention that, in a way, he was RIGHT- there WERE people trying to hurt him, though not for any meaningful reason past petty human cruelty i...wouldn't be surprised if whoever it was was impersonating the woman he was obsessed with was urging him to stop taking his medication....

@@HamguyBacon Yeah, social media and forums are way too strict

It’s so crazy to see him be so out of it in his videos, but seeming much more lucid in conversation with someone that was genuinely curious in him and his bizarre projects. I’m sure it helped him to know their were people that genuinely took interest in him in a non-malicious manner

this video is longer than most movies a time marker would've been nice but fine ill just watch the whole thing to seen what your talking about no problem

aw man. that must be so scary, to be enemies wth your own mind like that. I hope he's at peace now, wherever he is.

@@12gauge_shawtyy Though I would deny any accusations of having faith or belief, at least directed into a singular belief structure anyway, I would like to believe the faith he had in life has secured him a place somewhere we can only speculate on

If you mean the clip played in the credits, that exact part is why I come back to this video at minimum once a year. You can see the culmination of everything he feels, coming into reality again and seeing the situation he's in, the hopelessness, the tortured self awareness reawakened....god damn it hurts.

Hard to recognize a sick brain from within the confines of a sick brain...

They were from either 4chan or kiwifarms. they were just farming a lolcow. just because they were being pleasant doesn't mean they weren't still using his mental health/notoriety for their own amusement.

I actually quote from him a lot.

That sounds like stuff you would see a corrupted AI tell in a distopic futuristic fiction novel

Warhammer 40k

@@Enots7 straight up adeptus mechanichus

@@pedroitalo8105 Praise be to the Omnissiah

Exactly. Is really frustrating knowing that so much angry or violent people, with any degree of mental problems, are trying to get a grip of love. And we can't help them.

It's like he were himself for a moment. A glimpse of lucidity.

martín escorcia just love them. Let them see that they can trust you. I know it sounds stupid and simple but it’s true. It won’t fix their mental problems or anything of the sort, but it comforts them. I know, because before I did exercise and sports, I was like that. I wandered around, wanting to be loved by anybody, yet I was rejected. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t see the family that supported me or my awesome friends. I focused on getting too much love from others, especially from a romantic relationship. I’ve grown, now. I’m a big boy who weightlifts, runs, did wrestling and rugby and I’m about to try out Krav Maga. It took all of that to recognize that I don’t need much love, and whatever I did need, I had a massive surplus within my best friends, my family, my fellow teammates and my coaches. When I struggled, people showed me patience. When I cried, people showed me grief. I was no longer alone. I thought a lot clearer and I was better. Show these folks some love. Let them know that you care about them. It’s not going to fix them, but try to make their existence a little easier :)

@@gibraltar2843 You're a good guy

Mat Turner thank you! ^_^

That was nice of you. When people refer to timestamps, I can't correlate them to the videos i'm watching.

Right? At first I thought "this fool is talking about a bird looking at a monitor" and dismissed it. Then he came full circle and used it as a comparison of his intellect to the common person. I was shocked at how well he wove that story.

It also hits really hard as it seems that in that moment he seemed to have had a short realiziation that something was wrong with him.

That bird discussion got me too. He clearly was thinking about and working through concepts that are difficult for neurotypical people to wrestle with, let alone someone with schizophrenia. It's also amazing how skilled he was at programming such to the extent that he basically created an operating system from scratch. It also seems like his birds were well cared for and lived for a long time. Sometimes people with even severely debilitating mental illnesses can perform and even excel at certain specific tasks. His operating system may be bizarre and created for nonsensical reasons, but nobody can take away from the dedication and even intelligence needed to complete them. It sounds kind of cliche, but I hope he's happy now, wherever he is.

What really got me was the moment he was arguing with his parents and then suddenly stopped and apologized. Like it was such a 180 that it really got me.

LockeRobster can you give me a time stamp

also as someone who isn't schizophrenic but is borderline and has some delusions relating to the people in my life, i cant attest to the schizophrenic experience but i can attest to the borderline one. and sometimes when you get so, so angry at someone over something so, so small, and internally wish violent death upon them and wonder why youre still friends and why you ever saw anything good in them -- wonder what the good you saw even *was* -- and then come back down two hours later bawling your eyes out because you legitimately forgot that you loved someone. you forgot everything good about your closest friend and you wanted them to die. what kind of friend even are you? arent you a bad person for thinking that way just because you were convinced for a fleeting moment that that person might leave you...? well, i do that maybe three times a week.

I can totally agree with that. As a schizophrenic, when I end up in a bad episode, there are moments of lucidity where I become overtaken with the realization of what is actually happening and it's really crushing.

Moments of lucidity can be heartbreaking. Sometimes they know they will eventually degrade back into insanity and it is sad when they realize that they will return to their own paranoid delusions. It is also sad because that is them, whenever they have moments of lucidity, you have them in their true form, but, soon, they will return to their insane behaviors, and it is heartbreaking.

8w9hf89hw you’re a living person. And that, is beautiful.

@@P4brotagonist keep on trekking man.

@Milkias Simon And there's no real reason to do it in the first place other than, "Because I can."

Now that I think about it... isn't that what happened with etika? He seemed to suffer from some mental health issues and seemed to refuse to get help. Then he made a post about asking people when he should kill himself and people started messing with him and giving him actual dates. There's even a screenshot with someone asking on a specific date and etika killed himself near that date. Man, really wish people aren't dicks and realize poking at someone with mental illness can actually instigate something awful

Nick Jones I totally agree Nick. The trolls absolutely destroyed Chris Chan. He had issues, he loved toys and making his comics. Trolls blackmailed him, baited him into paedophilic issues (for just having a conversation with someone young, no image sending, no dirty talk.) He was broken by trolls. They’re also a She now as they’ve come out as transgender. Trolls should seriously get a taste of their own medicine. Sick, twisted motherfuckers.

Some people just love to pick on someone who is below them. It is a bad thing, and bad people enjoy it. In the end the bad people are looked down and if possible, punished. No one likes a bad person.

Jack Evans - Dobson For real, especially looking back there were some huge assholes. Though there were trolls that were trying to atleast get him to realize where he is and stuff. especially considering before everything he had a job. people like blue spike or the idea guys are just flat out terrible people. There’s always someone trying to get something out of her. just wish people would just stop and observe, if that happened i wouldn’t be surprised if she eventually moved on. obviously that will never happen, because of the constant feeding into her “dimensional merge” delusions and weens who think it’s still 2008.

God is good (seriously tho)

BPD is the worst.

@@premier69 for other people - yes. Not to the ill person.

@@laniakeas92 i dunno about that. i guess it's a toss up

@@premier69 borderline people often reject their diagnosis and tend to blame other for their struggles.

@@laniakeas92 yes i know, i have it and 2 dead family members who had it. I've also met others with it.

Did you know Terry? I haven't watched this for a long time, but I know that he and his family suffered mightily.

@@lynnehuff9659 no, sadly I only knew of him through the window he provided us all with into his life. I know the pains of the family must be great, and I feel deeply for them

Oh yeah, heartbreaking for having a bigiot, piss off

@PiK Just how? (Er du dansk btw?)

@PiK, haha, how they got that high resolution back then

Just fuck up my shit

@@marcus9441 If you read the comments under the video, that was actually taken from a concert film, as in high budget Hollywood production. Very well preserved 35mm film. The Woodstock movie is kinda similar.

lol

I think pratically all his blabbering was a desperate call for help, from a somewhat sanner part. the worse thing is that nobody was there to help him, and he started devolving more and more. may his soul find peace in a beatifull land, because in this one, he suffered too much.

Amid the vastness of his delusion there is a clarity in his vision, although it is punctuated with an occasional falter that resembles lucidity...I have to wonder how many other prolific and worshipped creators and artists suffered similar fates

oh, im sure it makes total sense in his own mind. Its just neurtons firing in the brain and being transcribed through his words...every thought.

I am a caregiver and previously worked in a home with an individual very much like terry. In these moments, it’s almost like they start to come out of a haze and realize they’re not making sense, they’re being manic and aggressive...only to find something to rationalize it again. It’s a very vicious cycle and it’s heartbreaking.

Exactly, if you note it, Terry knew most of the time who he was dealing with or what he was saying, amazingly enough.

Typical 4/8chan users. Virgins, Incels, whatever you wanna call them.. You should see what they do to Women online.....

@@squirt4059 His fanbase was mostly 4chan/8chan folks, what crack are you smoking?

@@squirt4059 What XD You know that they were the only one watching him and supporting, right?

@@squirt4059 The fact you went for those words first to describe people who use the chans shows your more of the pathetic type of people on sites like twitter, instagram, resetera and the like to do worst things then the people who use 4/8/ectchan. On those sites you get called names, on the sites YOU frequent ruin the lives of people for a word 10 to 20+ year ago and get companies to silence and drop people. 4chan can be BAD, but the other "Safer" ones can be straight fucking evil.

@@theADHDotaku My god could you possibly be any more boring and unoriginal to listen to

Why is it that reddit teenagers take every little brainfart from mentally ill people as underrated world changing memey meme humor?

@@greenblood2313 who hurt you?

@@greenblood2313 shush

@@greenblood2313 deez nuts lol

@@greenblood2313 why is it that you are reducing a person’s creative and comedic insights to a little brainfart just because of their mental illness

Yes! Mental illness is still so stigmatized/misunderstood that in our lifetimes, we may never see it advance for those who need it, especially medications. Those are no joke meds. They can cause side effects just as unbearable if not worse for the patient (I am on one, and the side effects are horrible).

@@yawn6986 My life was made irrevocably worse by a medication I took for bipolar disorder. I started on it while recovering from mono, and as I was finally getting back into a workable state, a slightly aggressive increase in the dose caused me to have a really, really bad reaction that flipped some sort of switch in my body. According to everything I've learned in the past 5 years, I'm going to have chronic pain and fatigue for the rest of my life. I'm on different meds now that work fine, but it really made me scared of taking my meds for a while.

Schizophrenia is not incurable

@@johngoldsworthy7135 It's not untreatable, but it is most definitely incurable.

@@gairisiuil that’s just a lie

Yeah. Over an hour of content, and all of it is in a neat, clean, package that doesn't waste your time anywhere. Just finished seeing a video of him explaining the Hurdy Gurdy machine. He talks about being able to give information about it because he's learned to play it. From what I understand, a feat in itself. When you look at this guy's videos it's pretty obvious he's an educated, talented guy

John Harman my only criticism is that he is overly generous with the fading to black.

Yeah its amazingly done. Beats most TV documentaries. It has great narration and even great production value for such a long piece.

And the narrator is probably one of the best around! I swear, KZfaq is a hot bed of raw talent in just about every area if you can wade through the hollow corporate drivel to find the gold.

I know, dtrh is kiulitee kontent

It was the “they wandered in the desert, so this must be what they did” Wasn’t expecting to get a laugh.

The 1st tech priest Magos

Yeah the “that’s in the smallprint of the bible” I found funny

Idk why but it actually kinda freaked me out.

He got a few chuckles out of me.

JustCallMe Rob Underrated comment

BADUM TSs

damn . . . too good.

its funny, but the video is too depressing for me to laugh

Was thinking the same thing

GOD WANTS 20%

Given Terry mentioned being sexually abused as a kid in a few streams, it makes me wonder if him going "really punish" to the child-on-child adultery is a hint as to what may have transpired. That poor man...

Morgan Naviaux I just feel really sad for him and disgusted at the people who tormented him

What's the link to his story?

Do you have more info on the fake Diana?

@@poletooke4691 I dont think he means the troll has his own story as well, but that he's just another fucked up part of Terry's story.

@Kid From 21 Jump Street Oh....

Agreed

Exactly, this is what saddens me the most. It’s like watching a man trapped in a room, all his thoughts splitting off from him, begging to get out of the room, and all you see are the shadows of one man trapped in a room, all screaming to escape, but all trapped by their own mental sickness. It’s… horrifying.

I can't, and quite frankly don't, wanna imagine how many Terries we lost to this void. How many lost geniuses, misunderstood artists, and unsung heroes have fallen away into the breeze of time, due to our lack of understanding. Where all that could've saved them was the right advice from the right company at the soonest of appropriate times. But I hope that in honor of their memory, we choose to be better. It's not gonna seem like that with the contemporary state of things, but hope in that is not a bad thing to hold on to.

And the fact that edgy fucks from stupid websites think it's some sort of joke and add to it. It's so perverse? I find sitting in a room and egging on a mentally ill person and fucking around with him to be at the same level as a cheering spectator at the Colloseum.

The key to life is to hopefully not get any of this type of stuff when you’re being created.

@@rohanp1227 the funny part is the same people who egged on him probably are spitting images, in a room with nothing better to do than to bring someone down because they themselves are incredibly sad with their life

A message that was unfortunately lost due to his schizophrenia.

He said "to have fun". Pretty damn simple statement of it's purpose.

And then his mental State detoriated and it became „Solomons Temple“

It was aimed to be a commodore 64, as he stated in one of his videos

@@beanofknowledge2125 literally because his TempleOS was his only place to find peace.

That's genuinely deep and insightful.

When you have a serious mental illness there can be occasions where you find a break in the dark fog where you see this one little thing or chain of things with extreme clarity. It’s just an odd thing that happens every now and again. I’ve come to notice that perspective can shift radically moment to moment which I’m sure is at least part of what triggers these epiphanic moments. If you’re wanting a source, I’m just speaking from experience. I have generalized anxiety, bipolar, depression, and ADHD. I go through bouts of deep suicidal depression about every 18 months roughly and the resulting stresses can lead to near psychosis. I’m not a doctor by any means, but I’ve spent enough time as a patient to pick up on the bare basics.

@@Catman2123 just want to I appreciate your comment and openness on this your experience

@Lillie Does Stuff Me too!

Roman Villegas I’m so sorry you’ve had to suffer through that. Thank you for providing your insight and experience.

I had to momentarily disconnect myself from what had just happend there because of how heartwrenching it was

That was pretty fucking insane, yeah.

It was almost like he snapped and realized something, but couldn't pin point what it was...

That hit me like a punch to the chest.

Signs of a man trapped in a feedback loop, acknowledging that there was something wrong, but always forced to see and repeat what he thinks is right. I feel so terrible for this man, but... at least he is at peace.

Yeah, that broke me. I've had episodes. Nowhere near as serious. I've gotten help and gotten a handle on it. But I got it. I've been on the other side of that wall and to see it come down from the other side... it makes my heart nearly explode with love for the people who helped me through my worst times.

And he even recorded it so his good deed wouldn't go unnoticed by random strangers on the Internet. I mean what's the point of doing a good deed if you can't tell everyone about it?

i really don't know if you're trolling, but if that's really your philosophy about doing the right thing, you're a horrible person@@JaredConnell

@@JaredConnellshut up

@@JaredConnellTo be fair, it looked like he was more or less interviewing him about his coding knowledge, nothing wrong with that

It absolutely was fantastic work!

@@Arcaxon Cheers Arc, I hope so, layering noise over a man arguing with his parents is pretty soul destroying.

Christian W Chandler is the lolcow Jesus christ. Tommy Davis was the John the baptist or a lolcow martyr.

Eh. It’s all right.

Your music made my stomach turn in the best possible way. You did a lovely job. The story would be much lesser without your contribution.

@Nathaniel Francois Ojastro 1:11:00

1:12:15

He is wasted potential. I feel sorry for the dude. If only he got the help he needed.

Karma is too

Thanks for your time & effort!

The ethernet cable icons look way to similar to forks or sporks. Aside from that small gripe, the animation was absolutely excellent!

Graphics and music are on point, when it starts devolving you feel it, it's like silent hill turning over, you guys did an astounding job to go with Fred's astounding way of writing and narrating, honestly, best one so far

I think when you work on something this length it becomes a grind. You can easily lose your direction, simply with the sheer amount of information around. Fredrik held it together and the video is awesome. Great work as always Arc!

@@djhenyo thanks a lot for the feedback! They were indeed similar, maybe too similar, I'll see what I can do about it next time!

maybe you've been watching too many kurzgesagt videos lately ? ;)

I can't do my best. I can only panic.

We are just birds in the large perspective of reality.

I'm an expert in bird law.

KICE: We don’t know what we’re looking at

pratically everything he says, you can take some bits of a still sane part, in whatever his mind had become.

That’s one of the most saddening parts of dealing with someone with schizophrenia or Alzheimer’s. Generally these people with severe forms of these diseases, sound so crazy that it’s hard to be able to rationalize their condition. You then see brief flashes of the person that was before, and that reminds you of how much these diseases have taken, and that is what’s devastating.

My girlfriend had schizophrenia and it was like this. When we first met, she was more lucid. Towards the end, she would have little breaks in her madness where she remembered we were in love. I eventually brought her to a mental hospital, but now they won't let me talk to her. I can only hope she'll take the meds and become lucid again. The day I left her, she didn't look at me and wouldn't hug me. Yea... I can barely type this without crying. I wish so much we had a system that was better equipped to help these people. Terry's story is so tremendously sad. I wonder if there was any way he could have been helped.

@@kaseybrown7664 Aww maan, huuuge internet hugs. You are an amazing person. Maybe she doesn't realize it or rather can't but she's so incredibly lucky to have that support behind her. Studying psychology atm and I can safely tell you, people like you, having a circle of close people who are willing to be patient, support and help are one of the most important aspects. They may not let you talk to her atm (which is understandable from a treatment perspective) but you've already done more than most would. Stay the way you are. If ya need anything pm me on reddit, steam or something. I use the same username on most platforms. (usually blue-black profile píc)

@@kaseybrown7664 stay strong brother.

For that to happen, you'd have to assume they thought about things more than themselves. I don't know. But if there's a sliver of doubt, it's gonna carry them to the grave.

Some of this was Terrys own decisions as a person with and who loves many relatives with mental disorders I’ve learned while they can be a burden they also cannot be used as blank checks as excuses for bad behavior or decisions. At the same time they did contribute to his cycles of mania/episodes, so you’re statement is correct I just want more people to know about not using your mental disorder as an excuse ❤

The CIA n*ggers got him, he didn't commit suicide

Was there an event that made your twin “break”? Wish you the best of luck

the internet is not responsible for his mental illness.

@@mailliw94 They exploited him and you know it

@@mailliw94 The internet exploited him and his ability. People called him on his phone just to make him rage on livestreams, people laughed at him for his disorders.

@@mailliw94 The internet made it worse by far

solidus snake They exploited him, but this what mental illness does to people.

Helps when someone else had done a lot of the filming for you. Still massive amount of work to tie it all together.

God wants 20%

It made an extreme amount of sense with how we look at the universe and existence. The bird will never understand the monitor, it can never, and I guess we can't ever figure out how existence works either.

That whole segment was just haunting. The whole situation is sad, and knowing there are countless more like him out there just amplifies that sadness. There is a mental health crisis in the United States that nobody wants to even discuss, let alone start work towards real solutions. Really, it's a medical crisis all around, because the only thing that may dwarf the mental side is the physical side, with insurance companies as well as all hospitals / doctor's offices / 'urgent care centers' / dentistry facilities all being partially to blame for why millions upon millions of citizens suffer (mostly in silence) on a daily, hourly, minutely, or just know no other existence but one in perpetual pain...and that's just in the US. The American Dream still exists, but for a very small percentage of the population. I'm talking top 1 - 3 percent. If you are outside of that percentage, it's really more like living an American Nightmare. One from which there is no waking.

His thoughts about his bird were so genuinely logical compared to the other things he said throughout this video. It really hit home for me and showed that underneath the illness was a brilliant man crying for help.

​@@HangmanOfficialUploads that's a fantastic analogy, actually

that part hit hard because im always thinking the exact same thing except with my fish and dog instead of a bird .

He rationalized that like a classic philosopher.

When I get depersonalized or otherwise overwhelmed by the absurdity of existence, I'll think about this quote, and it helps me carry on.

You should try to dig his stuff on reality, you'd be surprised how woke his stuff was