im really glad steph has opened up about her disability, steph your valid and seen and you do not need to feel bad or embarassed about having a mobility aid, i had the same thoughts before using my stick when i developped a chronic illness, you got this and we all support you

Everybody deserves accessibility im glad steph got a mobility aid, it’s super pretty ( like steph ) ❤

You mentioned how getting aid feels like you've admited your defeat. I think its the other way round! Getting the aid you need is accepting yourself and showing how strong you are! You choose to be good to yourself and your body and thats a very tough decision sometimes. Steph, you are wonderful and its okay to struggle with little mean voices! Just never let them get you because you deserve everything good in this world!

There is color names above where it says acid free on the barrel, it took me absolute ages to notice it too

I have a very close and beloved friend with chronic pain and mobility issues. As an able bodied friend, I can very confidently say that spending time with your friend is so much more wonderful when you know they are comfortable and taking care of themselves. Things like asking for a break to rest may not occur to us, since we aren't in your body, but taking a break and resting together with my friend is part of spending time together with her. Just because she needs to rest and I don't doesn't change that we are together to spend time together! Also, knowing that she needs to rest or stop etc, makes me keep an eye out for good places to rest. If we are spending time together doing something or spending time together resting or even spending time together deciding to relax at home instead of go somewhere that day, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I get to spend lovely time with my wonderful friend! I'm sure your friends feel exactly the same. It's hard to get over the accepting that "I specifically need help" in this situation. For me it always seemed like I was allowed to be a helper, not to be someone who was given help. But it's good for us to grow and learn to accept the help that we need. Everyone needs help sometimes, whether its using a mobility aid, a therapist, medicine, or someone to make sure you don't forget to eat/eat healthy food. Good for you getting your cute butterfly walking stick. If it helps imagine yourself as a fancy 1800s gentleman who never leaves the house without a proper cane! lol

Steph, hearing you say that you would come home and cry after making some of the videos broke my heart and I had to pause the video just to make this comment. I’m so glad that you found something that will be help you be more mobile and make those tough times easier. You’re such an incredible person and I’m proud of you for all you’re doing! ❤️

I know I mentioned this on a stream but I love the fact Steph is disabled (like Im not glad you are 🤣) but as someone who is also disabled REPRESENTATION MATTERS I've always looked up to Steph for this exact reason!!! I love your cane Steph it's perfect for you

I'm 22 and have arthritis in both my hands and wrists, so I completely understand the frustration of "everyone else can do this why can't I??" but it's just about giving yourself grace and understanding. You are a different person with different needs, and that's okay! There isn't a too old or too young. Pain is pain. Even if you think other people have it worse than you, your pain is still valid and needs to be taken care of.

I’m only 24 and I use a cane! Everyone’s different and every day is different. I definitely get weird looks depending on where I am using it and I don’t need it everyday so I play it by ear. A dear friend of mine that passed last year used both a cane and a wheelchair on a daily basis and really helped me realize how much we need more general education about disability and mobility aids. When we took him to the aquarium I had to literally yell at people to move out of the handicap marked spots in front of the tanks while I was pushing his wheelchair and most of them didn’t apologize or look guilty at all. Just a small mat on the ground that’s not for you, I shouldn’t have to yell for you to get off it! Sometimes it’s so much easier to advocate for others than it is to advocate yourself. Remember that you deserve it just as much as the people you love and it’s not silly to advocate for your needs.

Thank you for sharing your disability journey. I think it’s really helpful to hear yours and other peoples experiences. The stick is beautiful! I really like the butterflies.

Hey Steph, im Autistic and also physically disabled (finally got a connective tissue disorder, waiting on genetic testing which takes forever, but probablt a form of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). I also work in disability rights (in the U.S.), and have for a long time. I related so hard to everything you shared. It's also definitely difficult to figure out your limits and actually express them when youve grown up disabled, but not really had a diagnosis or acknowledgement of your disability. Part of it is just finally learning to listen to your body, and Autism definitely complicates this. A lot of people dont realize that Autism on it's own is an energy limiting disability and it physically effects your body. You can assume you have enough energy for an activity - but then if there are extra or unexpected lights, smells, sounds can be extra draining - sensory experiencings are tiring even if you dont have a full meltdown or shutdown. Sometimes you won't notice until it's "too late" - the important thing is to not blame yourself for things tou can't control. Having any disability requires extra time and effort to listen to your body, etc. But Autism does complicate things because Autistic people (diagnosed and undiagnosed) are taught from a young age that listening to their bodies is wrong (no the lights not too bright, the clothing store music isnt too loud, you cant be too tired youve napped and havent dont anythinf else today). So overtime you have to convince youself you cant listen to those signals and act like youre not in pain even when your body is screaming at you. Learning about ans accepting being autistic means learning to tap back into those experiences and accepting that - oh, that is actually painful to hear the hum of the fridge, the sun DOES hurt my eyes even with wrap around sunglasses and a hat even if its cloudy (my personal experience). And it takes years to unlearn the distrust of your body/its messages and to learn to trust yourself again. Especially if your formative years were masking and trying to act normal to not get in trouble (either actual punishment from adults or social ostracization). So give yourself grace. Disability is dynamic, so just because something changes doesnt mean you "messed up by not knowing sooner" or "shouldve done something different" - its that things change, and thats super difficult to communitcate even without being Autistic. You're doing great, and its fantastic to share about this online so other people can see it and relate, or spark personal conversations for people. Really appreciate you being open. P.s. to anyone else reading this who might need to hear it: if you're thinking you could benefit from a mobility aid occasionally, you probably couldve used it ages ago - if you have the means, give it a try. When i started using a walking stick 2 yrs ago, i was like, damn, shouldve picked this up a long time ago. I dont need it all the time, but youd be surprised how much mobility aids help, even in ways you didnt know you were struggling yet. Its about making life a little more accessible, so you can do things and go places you enjoy. You dont need to be reliant on it 24/7 for it to be valid, remember, disability is dynamic.

I think we often are less kind and aware of our own needs. When I got my first stick in my late 20s it hadn't even occurred to me I could use one until a nurse (not a horse as autocorrect suggested) recommended it to me and I literally said "but I'm not disabled enough" and she gently chided me over it. Even on my good days I use it when I leave the house because I've had far to many occasions like your crying bench where I was stuck and had to either seriously strain myself, pay for taxis I couldn't afford it call around car owning friends and family until someone could rescue me. Re: train journeys. Any journey that's more than half an hour or requires changes I'll either get my sister to call the starting station or go to the ticket office on arrival and arrange for help from staff. This has included rides on their little tractor cart things, the escorting me while carrying all bags for me, staff literally going into the train to get me settled, holding a connecting train as I couldn't move fast enough to make my change and on one occasions rearranging my route at no extra cost to avoid a lift free station. For London underground on the, increasingly rare, tonnes I go into London I have a badge and lanyard asking people to give up their seat that tfl posted to me after my sister requested it for me. I usually don't have the executive function to ask for a seat when it's busy, even when I'm close to tears so they're really useful when I don't forget them. Finally, duvet think of it as giving up, think of it as leveling up (which goes with your dice rolling) your quality of life, something everyone deserves. Tldr : you deserve nice things. Your stick is a nice thing and you are nice thing... Or person.

Ohhhh the wonderful world of moving around when you're disabled! When my brother and I went to the zoo there was a massive hill and we were taking breaks every five minutes or so, just because it was so steep and he got out of breath so fast. As someone who does walk very fast, you get used to it- time sitting down is time to chat, drink some water, check your messages etc! We formed a route before we went there so we could see what we wanted to without him feeling absolutely miserable later. I love watching the pigs eat. Their mouths go so fast!

I have chronic migraines and y'all's videos are the only ones I can watch when I'm having a bad flair!! I've always pushed myself and only recently I've been advocating for myself. I use a cane and a walker and the anxiety of thinking I'm to young to need a cane and sometimes I don't use them out of embarrassment. I definitely understand where Steph is coming from

Have you heard of a flipstick? It’s a cane with a seat that can flip out. There are other kinds too- if that one is hard to balance on. I use it or a wheelchair or a rollator- and I’m 31- so I’m right here with you!

the cane is so cute and stephcore! :3 im glad she has a community where she can feel safe enough to talk about disability, as a disabled person too it can be so tough!

I just love the way Adam talks to Steph and calls her dear its so sweet! I love you guys your videos are always so relaxing!

I’m always so grateful when someone else talks about their disability, because it makes it easier for me to be open too. I think it’s healthier for everyone.

The sleepy caterpillar is so cute!! I love him so much. I appreciate Steph feeling comfortable talking about her disability! I’m in the process of being diagnosed with a few things myself with the goal of trying to go on disability and get a carer as well - it’s a long, slow process but hopefully worth it! The last few months I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I probably need a mobility device, I totally understand the back and forth about whether or not to use a cane or crutch.

Hey Steph, just wanted to tell you that I am 32 and I've been using a cane and sometimes a wheelchair since I was 29. I absolutely understand the feeling of not wanting people to see that you have mobility issues for a plethora of issues BUT hiding it and continuing to cause yourself damage will only make it happen faster... for worse reasons. You deserve to be mobile and have the aids you need so that you can live your life with at least a few less struggles. I have a royal blue "Hurrycane" and I really like it. It's light, stands on its own, is slender and foldable! I don't work for them I swear. I just like my cane lol There are other smaller businesses that make really fun/custom canes as well! It doesn't have to be an "old lady" style cane, I promise. It has helped me so so much and it is VERY rare for me to have a negative interaction because of my aids in public as well. The vast majority of people simply do not care which means you can do whatever you need to in order to lessen the negative impact your health can have on you sometimes. It's okay to need help...even in the form of a stick, but like a really cool stick 😂❤

ahh im so glad that you feel safe to be so open about mobility aids! that internalised ableism is really hard to overcome!!! a good rule of thumb for mobility aids to me is always "if using it would be more helpful than hindering, you should use it", which is something that really helped me have the confidence to use a stick myself. because to someone who it isnt helping, it would be annoying to use! and yes!!!! using mobility aids isnt "giving in" its *giving the ability* to do more! (also, maybe it helps to know, im 25 and have been using a stick for a couple of years now(which i say because i definitely understand the feeling of "im wasting my youth"))

@9:08 I can see the word "violet" with the purple you're holding! Right under the words brush pen-to the left of logo. Not sure if the others are like that, but figured I'd give a head's up!

I’ve had to use mobility aids my whole life. Started with a walker when I was 3, switched to crutches about 5 years later, and when I moved into my own place and had to do more housework myself I switched to a walker around the house (for the tray to carry stuff) and crutches everywhere else. Except for when I have to go long distances, like at the grocery store or theme parks. I use a wheelchair there. I used to feel very self conscious about it, but now I’ve realized that I have to use them no matter how I feel about it, and anyone who thinks it’s weird or unappealing is just wrong. I’m still working on not feeling self conscious about my braces, especially when other people are really dressed up and all I can wear with my braces is hiking boots or sneakers. I even wear long skirts or baggy trousers to cover the braces up, but I can’t cover up the shoes. Its a journey and you’ll make it through. Just go at your own pace and don’t let anyone push you beyond your limits. There’s a difference between pushing yourself to be adventurous and allowing yourself to be put in a situation that’s going to be detrimental to your future self. You got this! Praying for you!

Your talk about your disability and your relationship with your aids is super relatable! You're not alone! I pushed off using a wheelchair to the point I couldnt leave the house (and even inside I had to be carried around some days it was so embarrassing). My wheelchair is so freeing, I can go out and about again, I can do more than I've been able to do in years and years. Also in way less pain (even when doing more). I remember getting stuck in the grocery store one day and I just started crying, ended up having to wait for 1,5 hours for someone to be able to pick me up and bring me home and that was a turning point. Ive only discovered you just now due to this video, but I do want to say that I'm super proud of you for taking this step in taking care of yourself. Unmasking (be it neurodiversity or disability) is a hard journey, but I hope it can give you so much peace and freedom and joy ❤️

So proud of you Steph for getting a mobility aid to help you improve your freedom and independence

I'm so glad that you've gotten to a place where you feel more comfortable talking about your disability. You don't owe anyone information about your heath AND (not 'but') it's always nice to hear from other disabled folks. I finally got to a point where I accepted that I'm disabled and allowed myself to use mobility aids and it has made a world of difference for me. I wish I taken care of myself sooner because it may not have gotten this bad this soon if I had. I'm only 22 and i spend nearly every day in a wheelchair, but now I can do so much more than I could before and actually enjoy what I'm doing. I appreciate your content so much. Thank you for doing what you do

I've been watching you two for years and years, but I don't think I've ever commented before. I just wanted to applaud you, Steph, for finally getting a mobility aid. I know it will help you a ton. My partner was just diagnosed with severe osteoarthrosis in his hips, he has no cartilage left at all and needs a double hip replacement. He finally gave in a got a cane (colorful and polka dotted, like his personality!), which took way longer than it should have due to his internalized ableism. But, it's helped him tremendously. He still hurts, and can't always do all the things, but it has given him a bit of independence again while we wait for his surgery. I am so proud of the both of you, and you've got this!!

I have a tremor and conntective tissue issues (and AuDHD) that affect so many aspects of my life, it makes me happy to see someone i look up to share their experience ♥️

Steph, you are not useless for battling with your flesh wagon, nor are you old, or anything of the sort. Beauty is understanding your limits and figuring out how to work around them to give yourself the quality life you deserve. And when you think about it, isn’t your mind working a little harder, because you have these new things to figure your way around? Thinking more hardly seems useless, no? You’ve been a champ for a long time, and you are continuing to be one. Keep on keeping on you two, the stars only shine brighter on you with each passing day.

I've been a fan and try and watch every video of yours, art being the main thing. I became wheelchair bound 10 years ago when I was only 13 (I had been a walker user before than and very rarely needed my wheelchair). For years I beat myself up over it, that maybe if I did things differently I could be able to walk today, but really it didn't matter what I did, I was born this way and it would have happened at some point in my life. I'm now almost 23 years old, I have a great job to help others with disabilities and neurodiverse people, art being the biggest part of that job, teaching them how draw, like this channel has done for me since I was a kid! One thing I wish I learnt sooner than I did; it is okay to grieve your past self, it's healthy, you can reflect on that and help make your life more accessaible. I'm proud of you Steph for working on yourself and finding what's best for you now and as you carry on. I'm also proud of Adam for being able to help make both of your lives easier to transition into this new grey area of life. It will be scary, it will be fun, you will find new things that will amaze you everyday about your body and strength! Stay safe, loads of love to you both and the piggies!

Thanks Steph for this open and vulnerable account. Having recently had a “situation “ So I know what it’s like walking through a minefield trying to hide things and blend in until I eventually stopped going out unless I absolutely had to. Thank goodness for Adam and your art

Thank you so much for sharing! You're so right: accommodating our disabilities can be hard at first. It DOES feel like "admitting I'm a failure because I couldn't beat this on my own. It IS difficult to advocate for ourselves, and to take on a new physical tool/aid adds a level of visibility that feels really uncomfortable at first. My life hack, my mantra when I'm feeling down about using my accommodations publicly, is taking myself, "I am a permission slip." For myself, for other people who are struggling, for other people who are struggling and don't realize that there IS a better way! I am a permission slip. To be weird, to stand out, to represent the change and destigmatization of my disabilities that I want to see in the world. So future generations might one day not experience the nasty voices in their heads like I do. Your use of any accommodation that helps you is valid, especially if it helps you have more spoons for the things you want to spend them on 💜

Just wanted to say I’m so proud of Steph for opening up about her disability! And admiting when she needs help which is imo very brave, and makes you stronger than most! Tho that’s not to devalue your struggles, I hope for nothing but the best! And good on you for still going out when you can! I think it’s super important to keep doing that in manageable chunks bc I can’t speak for you but for myself and those I’ve known with various disabilities going out usually improves mental health too! And when you can’t go out for whatever reason, sunlight and being by a window with sunlight pouring in can help boost moods and mental health too and still help you feel connected to the outdoors inside. 😊 (if that sort of thing helps you.) Btw loved the art you made in this video sooo cute! 🫶🏻😊🥺

Needing a mobility aid as a young person is completely valid! I'm in my 20s, and I use the same type of walker that my grandma does, the kind with wheels that you push in front of yourself. Admittedly at first I felt embarrassed that I needed it, but then as soon as I went on my first long walk in 2 years, that shame faded away, and was replaced with such relief and an overwhelming thankfulness that I had regained some of my freedom. I had been slowly losing my ability to walk for years, so regaining that ability felt like a dream. It's still hard, and I still feel pain when I push myself beyond my limits, but I'm so much happier now than I was without my walking aid!

THAT CANE!!!! It's so beautiful! And those canes are so much fun to flick out and watch them SNAP into place!

from one disabled artist to another, steph you are so strong and a true inspiration for talking about this stuff. you and adam have helped me since i was in freshman year of high school. i'm almost 22 now and still here because you two are just the greatest!! thank you for making such a safe space

It's so healing to open up and be vulnerable about your disability. I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease at the age of 16 and have had 3 back surgeries and a knee surgery all before I turned 25. I was born with some shitty genetics and I'll have this old lady body forever. I am not able to do a lot of what my friends can. I am currently in the process of getting approved for a mobility aid through my pain management. I don't need it every day, but like you, there were times where I got somewhere and realized I couldn't get home because the pain was so great. It's scary and upsetting. Especially knowing that others around me could cast judgement for me being so young. You're so brave and such a bright light. Thank you for opening up

I only recently was able to admit to myself that I was disabled and it's so refreshing seeing someone I look up to talking about this!! much love ❤

So I never comment on videos or really anything on KZfaq but I felt that I had to this time. I've been watching you guys since the beginning. A few years before that my hips and back basically deteriorated and I became disabled from a degenerative connective tissue disorder and began using a cane by age 18. Your videos kept me company through many sleepless pain-filled nights. Listen. EVERYTHING you are going through, feeling, and thinking, is completely normal. It was a huge blow to go from being "abled" (masking, just like you said) to suddenly needing convenience devices. It is an incredibly hard transition, and even years later, I feel myself being frustrated that I have to use it. BUT! It has drastically improved my life. I am able to walk farther, be more independent, work a job I love, and actually be in less pain. You are going to be okay and if you feel you need a cane - then you do. They exist for you. You are valued and loved regardless of your disability status or your convenience devices. Be proud of yourself for this decision. A lot of people underestimate how hard of a decision it is to make. This advice is completely unwarranted so please feel free to ignore it! I have found that collapsible canes are great for day trips where you may or may not use it, but bend and warp with more use. I would highly recommend having a non-collapsible option as well, just to allow your cane some more breathing room. Either way, you've got this.

I used to watch you guys back in the day when i was "able-bodied" or at least pretending to be. You came back up on my feed today after i'd been out and about whizzing in my wheelchair. It all feels very full circle and i'm glad to be back. Kudos to steph!

I used to watch doodle date all the time when I was younger, and all of a sudden I get this video in my recommendations. My heart is so full!!! I hope life has been treating you both well ♥️

Thank you for sharing Steph ! After all those years my autistic brain wants to do so much more than my body can handle. Like last Saturday I went to an art workshop, took me 2,5 to get there with public transport and buzzy city walking, and on the way home I was in so much pain that I couldn’t walk home anymore. Now 2 days later I’m still in so much pain, so not fair. You’re so brave to use that mobility aid ❤

This means so much to me, I was diagnosed with a sciatica and minor scoliosis which has made things as simple as laying on my side painful enough for me to have to take 1000mg paracetamol. It all happened whilst I was already (and currently still am) dealing with homelessness that has no signs of ending any time soon.

Hey Steph! I just wanted to comment and tell you that you have nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve had a back issue for a while and I’m working through that “I’m too young for this” or “I didn’t need aids before” mindset too. Your aids are NOTHING to be ashamed of and if it helps you please use it. You don’t deserve to live in pain. We all support you and the cane is very nice! I’ve been thinking of getting one myself so seeing you with one that looks so pretty is super awesome.

really really proud of steph for embracing the new changes!!! its really hard to be kind to ourselves as disabled people (au/dhd + lifelong chronic pain), rules for me not for thee is a very very accurate statement ugh. please dont be afraid to speak up for yourself and when you need to stop and recharge your stamina bar. your body deserves kindness too

If Steph gets a snazzy hat that matched THE STICK, like with butterfly's or maybe flowers, it'd be so cute! maybe attract some cute lil critters

Sending all of my love! I got my first cane and crutches recently because of chronic pain and fatigue and those feelings of defeat and trying to hide your disability are so hard. I'm lucky to have some really understanding and lovely people around me, and learning how much more I can do with my mobility aid is amazing. Canes can be freedom and we love them for that!

i was one of the first people in my social circle to start using a cane and being vocal about my mobility issues. i don't have a particular diagnosis, just some bad joints and coordination, but i had a lot of similar hesitations and self-doubt moments at the beginning! i totally understand the masking thing- i honestly thought that everyone was in pain when they walked until people started telling me that it wasn't normal. something that was very uplifting and validating to me was that a lot of my friends started opening up about their own struggles with me and felt more comfortable using mobility aids if they saw that i was using mine. sometimes id bring my cane even on good days just in case one of my friends ended up needing it. i think a really important lesson i took from that is that accessibility is not just for one group of people!! sometimes even people who identify as completely able bodied need an accessible space or a mobility aid just to get through a bad day. theres no shame in it and the more that it is normalized (especially by the people who have those doubts about "not being disabled enough"), the more people feel comfortable doing what they need to feel comfortable and safe! steph, not only are you extremely valid, but talking about these feelings is going to help a lot of people who may be struggling with the same mindset- so thank you for your vulnerability and congrats on taking that step to help yourself!

Awe Steph! We all love and support you! Also, you are an exceptional human being with an exceptionality, not a disability. And you are rocking it! ❤ I love the butterflies cane you picked out! Eee!

Thank you for sharing more about your disability. Please continue recognizing that you would never scrutinize anyone else in the way you scrutinize yourself. It’s important to interrupt that thought process and challenge yourself to give yourself the grace you give others. ♥️ I had to go through this process myself. It wasn’t from disability, but from a serious injury from a car accident and multiple spinal surgeries as a result. I still consider myself able-bodied, but pain is a daily part of my experience and it gets exhausting. I’ve had over a decade to process all of this, but in the beginning I had a lot of thoughts about it not being fair, me being too young, etc. Please recognize that those feelings are normal and that you are allowed to feel them. Just don’t get stuck in them.

Stephanieeee!! I got diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome in Jan and it opened up my world and i fi ally had answers to all the issues ive been facing my whole life. At first when my doctor told me to get a wrist brace for when i draw, i felt like a total fool or like i wasnt trying hard enough. But seeing you with your brace and how open you are about physical disability that is way out of your control, ive been really comfortable with my EDS, a d i wear braces and straps when i need to, and i find that i validate my own disability more. So please, know that by sharing your struggles you are inspiring those in your audience to A) seek treatment and diagnostics, B) be realistic about the limits of a disabled body, and C) own that sometimes youre gunna need help and thats okay!. Thank you steph, you really have touched so many lives, and i think about you and your inspirational journey almost daily whenever i face my own battles with my body. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

We love you Steph! I watched Doodle Date all the time around 6-7 years ago. I recently remembered the channel and came back to it. I’m so glad I did :) Steph, I had no idea you had a disability and I want to let you know that as a viewer, I don’t feel any different about you :). You are a wonderful brave and talented artist and that’s what defines you

I have been disabled all my life I have a lot of respect for you Hun you have good day and bad day.xx

I’m glad to see that you’re working through those voices that say you’re not enough because of your disability or that you should be “better”. As someone who was born disabled and didn’t find out until they were 16, I have a lot of thoughts like those. I think a lot about what I “should” be able to do. I used to be able to do a lot more and it’s still really hard to accept that sometimes I need my wheelchair. Sometimes I just can’t go somewhere. Sometimes my experience is gonna look different from an able bodied person’s experience. It’s encouraging to see you doing what you can and learning! I hope you have a good day :) ❤

16:58 hearing that story of the way you felt getting stuck on the platform brought me to tears Steph! I have mobility issues too, I had to have 5 surgeries on my thigh, and losing your mobility just really messes with your head, especially so young, i'm 18. When you described that feeling of being so stuck and feeling so useless, I related so much on a level of mental health too- it's not just the physical limitations, but you get mentally trapped too. Thanks so much for sharing

I have also waited too long to seek out getting a mobility aid for the same reasons for years, and now it's a situation where it's too late and i'm waiting months & months for a custom wheelchair from insurance while being unable to get around my house let alone OUT. so pursuing it as soon as you're contemplating it is the best way to take care of yourself. i know tons of disabled people will resonate with what you're saying, so thank you for sharing!

So glad to see Steph talking about her disabilities and getting the help she needs

I can relate to you, Steph, with living with a chronic illness. It does take a lot of rest and a lot of energy to do the simple things that most people take for granted daily. I've also had a hard time letting myself use a wheelchair to get around the zoo. Just so I wouldn't flare up for weeks. I always feel guilty using it even though I (we) are all valid to use it too. Invisible illnesses are so tough to get people to understand. Because on the outside we look fine.. but on the inside, we are miserable with all we do. Thank you for sharing your illness with us. I also love your interpretation of the dice rolls or the disabled mario party. That's definitely 💯 true description of it! Steph,sending lots of healing hugs your way. Adam, lots of good vibes to you for being so understanding and caring to Steph. Your videos help get me through some of my rough days. Thanks so much to the both of you for being so awesome!

Oh gosh Steph I totally get it! My disability is pretty invisible because it's all internal. I get winded easier than others and people just did not get that growing up. It basically meant I wasn't as active as other and boy fid did I get bullied in gym class for that! On a lighter note. I hope the cane helps you get back to your normal activity level. And congrats on selling 100 copies of Dogs With Jobs, Adam!!

Well done Steph, for getting yourself accessibility tools to to support your needs! It's a good thing, because you get to enjoy things for longer and it doesn't make you (or anyone else for that matter) a failure or something along those lines. Get the help you need, take care of yourself and enjoy life 💜

You're so brave for opening up about your disability Steph!! Sending virtual hugs and support to you both!!! 💜

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and the natural anxious thinking externally, worrying about what other people would think about needing a mobility aid, but you're being proactive, you're doing what YOU need to do for your health so you can still experience things, even though its more challenging for you. We all absolutely support you, and want to make sure you're not in pain - just to try and entertain us.

Friends who genuinely want to spend time with you are there to spend time with you. They will work with your needs if you speak up and help them understand what you need even if you can’t explain the why 😊 good friends only ask why to help plan in the future not to judge

I too have a hard time with that mean inner voice, I hope you don't give it too much power. At this point in my life I've just been acknowledging the thought and then I try and remind myself that those types of thoughts aren't helpful and sometimes that helps. Love you guys, best wishes and your feelings are always valid!

i used to watch you guys all the time when i was young! i’m so glad that you guys are still around!

Usually I watch sooner on Sunday but I've had a big stressful day so I saved it for winding down for bedtime- about 10:30pm here rn and I'm so glad

❤❤❤❤ Thank you for sharing so openly about your disability, Steph! I hope hearing stories like yours makes me a better friend to the people in my life with disabilities ♥️

Swatching swatching swatching!!!!!! Loved watching steph have a play with those mildliners *chef's kiss

Being open about disability is such a struggle, I’m right there with you!! I have a dynamic disability and one of the biggest mental barriers is starting to use a mobility aid. But it makes such a difference in life and I hope it helps give you much more freedom ❤️ You can also look into a rollator. I personally do not use one, but they are SUPER beneficial allowing much more stability than a stick, allowing space to carry things AND giving you a space to sit when need be

Thank you for opening up about your disability. I feel so much less alone in my experiences.

Steph, thank you for sharing the ups and downs of your life with us. Talking openly about negative thoughts you have, but keeping an overall positive outlook on the future is something I really admire about you! You have so many good people around you who want only your success and happiness, and they know that you are gonna keep on growing and thriving. (Because you always do.) "Make It Happen Girl Shock Everyone" 😆

I hope some helpful business watches this video and sends Steph a super cool and modern wheelchair or any othe things that can help you with your daily life. Or even someone who can provide you with a more friendly house. I've been watching your videos for ages and I know you both deserve it so much!! Greetings from Spain xx

Thank you Steph for not being afraid to talk about your disability, unlike some KZfaq. You may not realize but you're awesome ❤

I'm proud of you Steph. When I was 45 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. 28 years ago. I absoLUTEly understand what you're saying. One thing that EYE, do at the end of each day, is list the things I accomplished that day. No matter how small. Maybe that would be a help to you. ❤

you are so brave to laugh and accept your disability. Its hard I had to leave my job because of disability. Art saved my mental health. Having a great partner helps too. sending good vibes to you both.

These comments feel so warm and lovely, look how many people you’ve inspired Steph! How amazing, you should be so proud, accept your lovely beautiful self (easier said than done but be patient with yourself, time will allow for it❤) x

Thank you Steph so much for being willing to talk about your mobility and your inner thoughts about your disability. My fiance(e) and a couple of my friends really struggle with some of the exact thoughts you had about feeling like using a cane or other mobility aid was “giving up”. Our brains can be so so mean, but if it’s any consolation, sometimes I find it helpful to remind myself that some of the mean things my brain tells me are just it trying to keep me safe from dangerous circumstances or people. It’s similar to masking in a way, but more internal. Your thoughts about not feeling like your struggles are “bad enough” to warrant using an aid may not be correct, but they might be a reflection of the sorts of hurtful things youve seen other people say about disabilities, and your brain doesnt want you to be hurt by those people in the same way.

hi doodle date! i used to watch your videos all the time when i was in 5th grade up to middle school, and im happy to see that your channel is still doing great :) im glad steph can open up about her disability and make changes to make her life easier.. its crazy to think the last time i saw you two was like 6 to 7 years ago.. now im 19 and i find you in my recommended!

steph, I'd never heard of CPTSD until you talked about it on your channel. Years later, I was diagnosed with CPTSD. I remembered you have it and though I don't know you, knowing someone else had it and had love, art, and guinea pigs in their life made it less scary. I hope the mobility aid gives you freedom! So much love

I have chronic pain all the time, I have fibromyalgia that appeared after I finished fighting cancer. I know how you feel and I’m still avoiding the cane but I really don’t go out anymore. You have given me the strength that it’s ok to use a cane. I love you both so much and the piggies too, you both got me back into doing art and your channel always brightens my day, thank you for making your videos👍👍❤️❤️❤️❤️

steph i feel the internal ableism you're feeling vehemently, i only recently started using my cane regularly since i also had a moment where i was stuck a few miles from home (with a hip out of place) - scariest wake up call to be kinder to myself and my body, and to use my aids when i need so i dont end up damaging my body further. im so beyond proud of you, you've got this 💕

I’m so happy that Steph is getting more comfortable in how her body functions!! As someone who is also disabled and should use a cane when I need it it’s super encouraging to see someone I see as a role model be just like me ❤️❤️ keep your head up Steph, you are doing amazing!!

I know exactly what you mean. I have a chronic illness that makes me physically disabled and I struggle to do day to day things. I have had the same feelings about using mobility aids but that's what they are for after all, and there is no reason we should feel embrassed or ashamed for being differently abled people. I think you would really benefit from using a wheel chair or mobility scooter when you are going on bigger adventures. So that you can save up the spoons you have to be able to do the more adventurous things you enjoy doing, especially when alone and to keep you safe from falling and hurting yourself.

Zebra brand also make mechanical colored pencils! I love them for on the go. I take them in my pencil bag when I go to the dr and such to doodle and color.

I don't really leave comments on videos and stuff, but as someone who's also struggling with my disabilities and struggling with accepting how my life has changed, this was insanely relatable. And as someone who needs a mobility aid, sadly can't afford them atm, I struggle with that day arriving because I'm scared of finally "showing" my disability because of the stigma and almost being 26. I still struggle with rationing my spoons properly because I still see myself as more able bodied like before. You're not alone steph.

It took me awhile to get over the "mean voice" in my head about mobility aids. It still pops up in the form of feeling self-concious, but I try to remind myself that the mobility aid gives me freedom and safety. Plus I went online and followed a lot of disabled and chronic illness creators and I start to feel more normal.

Hi Steph and Adam, thank you Steph for talking about disability. I had a car accident when I was 24 years of age and I have to use a walker and occasionally a stick on and off sometimes even a wheelchair and I understand how you feel I always have a voice in my head saying well you could do this you could do that I also used to fear people looking at me however now I know that it’s just a helper to keep me independent and actively doing the things I still want to do and there’s no shame in that. Thank you for also not hiding the disability away because people like you and myself shouldn’t have to be shut away from society, but included.

I use both a cane and a wheelchair to get around. Feeling like you're somehow a failure for being disabled is something I struggle with a lot, myself. A good thing about mobility aids, though, is that they are a visual reminder to your friends and family that you need special considerations when you go out, so I think you'll find your outings easier from now on if simply for that. Just remember to rest often, and learn to allow others to do certain things for you (I still struggle with that too, lol).

i'm so glad steph has opened up about her disability and that is awesome

steph i am so proud of you for even speaking to us about this. i know EXACTLY. how you feel. all the time, all day almost every single day. the internal battle about how i think of myself as opposed to how i think about others is so confusing to battle. like i know better why can’t i think like that for myself 😭!! and i HAVE to say, you make me feel so much less lonely in this world knowing you share similar experiences. even if they aren’t necessarily the best experiences, i’m so glad we have each other to share it with in this world.

One of my mottos in life is "I may not NEED help, but that sure would make it easier!" I used to be a big stickler for denying help if I could do something on my own. Maybe trying to prove that I don't need help. But I've been trying to change that mentality. It takes time, but I started with how I respond if someone asks "Do you need help?" Instead of saying "No, I've got it", I might say "I could do it on my own, but some help would be nice, thanks." Saying that kind of thing out loud to others has helped me to internalize that mindset.

I absolutely love those midliners! I sketch in them and it gives my drawings a nice pop of color/hue to them 💗 I’m so happy you shared your disability journey with us Steph 🌻 you are so valid and if the mobility aid allows you to do more things you want to do 🤗 you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it 💌sending much love

When I was younger, I was able to walk miles without any issues, other than get a bit tired - I could be outside all day doing wildlife conservation work and then after tea in the evenings, take my dog out for a couple of hours. Thanks to problems with my back and my knee, I can't do that any more and even going to the shops is tiring. I also have to be careful about walking off road (on country tracks, in the woods, etc) now because I'm not flexible enough to get over rocks and tree roots that stick out. It's annoying and I also fear getting stuck somewhere because of the back pain, and my dodgy knee - you don't appreciate something until you can no longer do it.

Awe, I miss watching your videos. I wish you the best of luck, Steph. It's very brave of you to come on and talk about your disability. 🐛🐛🐛

Congratulations on the sensible cane acquisition steph. I totally agree with the sentiment of spending most of your spoons getting to a place. So true. I’d recommend keeping an eye on different ways of gripping the cane, and perhaps having a couple of options available you can cycle between , so you don’t always use the same hand muscles and defer problems to there. I have a friend who uses a tall crutch with an elbow rest that requires almost no hand contact for example. There are so many things out there to experiment with, and a gift social media has given us is that now we can ask each other about how we have adapted these tools to our own needs. We don’t have to wait anymore for some numpty in a health centre who thinks they know better to give advice. Adam, I’ve coloured my third dog now, it’s the newspaper one. It’s a great book. Well done.

Your cane is beautiful and it's very cool that it folds up so you can stuff it into your purse or pocket once you get where you're going. Please never feel bad about using it or any device, because these devices are your keys to freedom. At least that's how I look them.

I’m new to your channel. I spent my life trying to keep up with everybody and not understanding why I was constantly in pain. Roll to 2018 and my body gave up and I’ve since been diagnosed with 9 chronic health conditions. I had to start using a rollator at 42 if I wanted to leave the house for any length of time and if I’m having a really bad day I have a wheel chair. I had my rollator 6 months before I plucked up the courage to use it. I found the staring really hard but I’ve now got used to it and I now find that people are so helpful when I’m out and about and have to stop and sit on my rollator. I know it’s hard but you are allowed to use whatever aids you need to access the World. I wouldn’t be without my rollator now. I have hEDS and POTS among other things and I tremor too. If you ever need to talk, I’m here ❤

So glad that Adam has the legal sanction to take care of a lot of things for Steph! I hope the cane will help make more things possible or even just give the comfort of knowing that if she does have to push herself she'll at least have it.

Aww, hugs. I have chronic health issues (IBD is the main one), and my stamina is limited too. My sister, though, almost certainly has POTS (working on a diagnosis), and her stability has gone downhill over the past couple of months. The family worked hard to get her moved from the bedroom above the barn (with no bathroom and stairs dangerous for someone who's unstable) to renovate my brother's old bedroom (he got married in the summer & moved out). Now she's across the hall from me, and I can hear if she falls or needs help, there's a bathroom right here, and the house stairs are wide and safe (relatively speaking--sometimes she can't do them at all). Anyway, I mention her because she's going through similar mental things as you as she's trying to get approved for a walker--the kind with a little seat on it. It's weird being 30-something and needing a tool usually associated with 80-somethings... but on the other hand, it's a blessing such things are available. And potentially life-saving.

Seeing your videos really gives me hope for my niece who we found out last year that she is autistic. She is only 5 now, but i hope she can still have a good life, and maybe get to find someone just like you guys found each other.