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50 iq: the 4chan height chart is correct 100 iq: the 4chan height chart is arbitrary and incorrect 200 iq: the 4chan height chart is correct

What 6 years with no Update does

Knowing tf2 lore I would believe it if someone told me that the reason everyone is so short is because back in the olden days people above 5’9 were executed for witchcraft until the tall genes got wiped out

"take it like a man, shorty" -- the shortest class in a game that can be classified as a dwarf

measure spy's cigarette and find the difference between that and an average cigarette then multiply every merc on screen by that amount.

Wow, a world where 5'6" is considered tall! Where might someone find this place? Asking for a friend.

To be honest there is a good chance that 4chan heights were used while making the comics.

Never underestimate a 4chan user with nothing to do about his useless math he probably crunched the numbers for hours

An anon getting it completely right from guesswork is pretty on brand

Engi is living proof that dwarves are the true master race. Just look at him, the shortest merc yet also the one that carries his team the hardest.

The actual height of the mercenaries tying back to the beginning and proving the 4Chan user correct is the truest epitome of "I don't know how, but you used the wrong formula and got the correct answer."

i'm pretty sure that the artist behind that panel googled how tall the merc's are and they found that 4chan height chart and just made it canon

The level 3 sentry gun is the same height as Charizard

My guess is that no one every really thought about it until the comics and then Googled their way into the 4chan chart and worked from there. Valve (at the time) strikes me as a company that would rather it look and play good before being lord accurate as well as the lore for TF2 kinda being an afterthought

2:45 Heavy: I can deny it no longer…. I am small

The engineer technically classifies as a dwarf? *rock and stone, partner*

Remember, Team Fortress 2 takes place in the 60's, and back then the average height was smaller than today's.

Casual reminder that the last major update came out on October 20, 2017.

Quick note about Hammer Units from a Source mapper: 1 HU is actually equivalent to 1 American inch, but only for characters and props. Walls, floors, ceilings, and doors use the 1 HU = 0.75 inch scale because it's more compatible with Hammer's grid system (long story) and it helps levels feel less claustrophobic. HOWEVER, the extra complication here is that TF2's character models are intentionally made larger than the characters in other Source games, so these scales are meaningless for TF2 specifically. For example, in HU the Engineer is actually taller than Coach, the tallest character in L4D2 who's supposed to be 6'3".

Glad i could help out Squim!

i mean heavy has the proportions of a gorilla

What 6 updates with no years does

5 bucks says the comic artists referenced the 4Chan height chart.

My headcannon after watching this is that the entire tf2 world is just a slightly smaller version than ours.

A master of his runes (blueprints) and a master craftsman of unmatched weaponry. Engie is a true dwarf.

I'm a nerd and must nerd out Giant Snipers do exist in Two Cities as Giant Huntsman Snipers :) That's my uhm ackshully moment, thank you for your time!

They all grew up in the 1920s-30s ish era, they probably few up very malnourished

2:55 counter argument: Heavy isnt an American man, hes *Russian* man

I honestly think it's less likely that the 4chan guy made a really good guess, and more likely that a certain artist at valve had to google the character's heights and found that image... Which is pretty funny if true.

Fantasy world? Short? 5’6 is HUGE! Giant. Enormous. Well endowed as some may say I think. No I’m not coping, you’re coping 😡

Soldier also wears Jungle Boots which probably give him an extra 2 to 3 inches.

Some 4channer: "I'll just assume that.. sniper is 6.1 and base the heights of others from that. Idk." SquimJim years later: "After several sources to get a believable height chart... son of a bitch he's right!" Math teacher: "Idk how, but you used the wrong method yet the right answer!"

Since the height guide from 4chan is from years before the comic, perhaps the artists just googled TF2 Class Heights and used it as a reference.

Dyslexia, figure one: I somehow read that as "TF2 _heists_ make no sense" and somehow was convinced that stands for... Payday 2.

The scaling difference in TF2 is something you can see between different versions of hammer. If you take a TF2 character into a map correctly scaled for half-life, the TF2 characters will have trouble moving around in some areas. Likewise when playing a TF2 map in a game like Gmod the map will appear slightly larger than in TF2.

Now we need the heights of : -Pauling -Saxton Hale -Headless Horseless Horseman -Merasmus

Statistician : Let's assume the median class Spy is the average male height 5'6. Scientists: Let's compare the heights of the class to the heights of known objects in their environment. Mathmeticians: Lets use the defined hammer unit to inch conversion ratio. Historians: Let's assume the height of Spy matches what is recorded in the comic. 4Chan: I just guessed lol

Prolly need to find an in-game item that either has One Single Possible Size (like from standardization) or is literally a tool for measuring size/distance if you wanna be TRUE certain.

Something to note about Heavy usually towering over Scout, Scout is almost always slouched in game, or at least has his knees bent and his centre of mass lower than it should be (for what I can only assume is for balance)

9:50 Jim, iirc giant robo- engineers, sniper, and spy were using the default MiniBoss size which is 1.75 times bigger than their regular variant.. which is pretty silly for what they're supposed to do.

But how tall is Merasmus?!

Wonderful video. As a Halo modder we deal with the same issue. The "lore" height assumes Master Chief is exactly 7ft but the direct export height is like 5ft something.

Its funnier to think that all of the mercs are manlets in a huge brawl Also isn’t there an in game scale or something in the spawn room? If it has legible numbers that could be more accurate to the in game heights

When it comes to niche research and guesswork, 4chan is actually a pretty reliable source. They've cracked multiple cyphers that comic authors created, correctly predicted secret twist endings to shows, and even tracked down a flag in the middle of nowhere using vapor trails and star charts

maybe everything in texas isn't bigger…

7:16 I was half expecting “not only is he standing at a perfect 6 feet tall, but the spy HAS A GUN!”

All I know is being 6'2" myself sucks, my dad 6'4" himself can agree with me being tall sucks. Finding pants with proper length, finding good seats that don't scrunch our legs, possibly banging our heads atop of door frames, etc. Enjoy being short.

Today I had a very strange low. I started watching Latin American Inca documentaries and Chris Marker video essays and eventually ended up watching a video about the height of TF2 characters.

We all know by now that an average 4chan user with too much time on their hands may as well be special ops.

4chan creating the biggest headcanon from scratch that revealed to be canon later on is the most 4chan thing i've ever heard. Bonus if the headcanon was attempt at misinformation

Dude this is such a perfect representation of the awkward height to real world translation in TF2. I tried doing this for fun once and I was doing (much looser) Game Theory style door measurements. Seeing someone else get the same answers feels vindicating, I thought I was just bad at math XD

Doesn't Valve have a real life sentry in its HQ? Someone could measure it lol

valve has a real level 1 centry in their headquarters so you can use that to figure out the height

Ngl, engie the dwarf makes sense to me Also sniper is cheating, he has lifts in his shoes that engie made for him so he could peek over walls better

while tf2 has no major update in years heavy weapons guy took his time off and flown to canopy to take a vacation

It’s similar to how the dwarves in DRG are like 9 feet tall

Well done on whoever did that height chart! Perfectly accurate guess! I hope he’s still around enough to see this video and learn how right he is. That said, for total accuracy, all the mercs would be a little shorter without their boots on. They all have heels, sniper probably has the most pronounced ones.

wait. i can combine the hammer unit to real world measurement conversion with another piece of random knowledge I've had for years. the gay miniatures from night at the museum are exactly three hammer units tall. and somehow this is actually going to be really useful because i'm trying to build the entire museum from night at the museum (as it appears in canon, which is entirely different from the museum they used to film the exterior shots) in hammer.

Giant sniper bots do appear as the giant huntsman snipers on one of the mannhattan missions.

Wow, I guess I'm taller than Heavy. Even though he could still probably break me like a twig...

I always took that original height chart picture as being official. Glad you dug deeper and enjoyed how you looked at a bunch of different sources (figures, hammer units, comics etc.) Really well done video:)

What are the odds the comic makers were unsure about how tall the spy was and decided to just look it up assuming someone had properly done the math? (I'm thinking pretty high)

People when they thought you'd be taller:

Here's my theory as to how they got the 4chan post got the height right: they made an assumption for the heights and the makers of TF2 and the comics saw that and said "Yeah, that seems accurate" and made those the officials heights

You could maybe use the jungle inferno trailer to scale saxton

The artist who made the thumbnail deserves a platonic smooch for their masterpiece

I wonder what that would make Ms Paulings height since I would assume her standing next to scout shows her to be a bit shorter than him in expiration date so maybe around 5 feet 7 inches would be my guess

Dwarf Fortress 2

It would have been interesting if you found a known scale in game to compare with. Something like assuming the bonk can is standard. I’m sure there is a good scale in the game somewhere.

For all we know an artist making the comic might've googled the height and came across that same info and just went with it

Cool, I have always been the same height as Pyro Cosplay idea!!!!!

I remember recently working with hammer, and some of the variables (im not sure but i think it was the lip variable for func_door brushes) specified how much space "in inches" it should move more by and i don't think the devs made that variable mean that it would move by a weird fraction of an hammer unit, (if a hammer unit really is 0,75 inches), so i think they meant that 1 hu = 1inch in that case at least so the heavy would in that case be 223,52cm tall - just a theory tho, not entirely set in stone on anything there 🙂

Now the goblineer makes more sense

I am Pyro. I have become real.

Next video should be comparing the height of every card in CLash Royale

i wonder in theory if you use collab items (such as ones from deus ex, grordbort, and alien) you could in theory find their height. but i remembered the phlog's proportions in tf2 and grordbort canon (MIGHT BE) very off edit:the phlogistinator apparently dosent exist? i only saw models of the unnatural selector. which looks exactly like the phlog but has a longer stock and no dongle?(the tank in the bottom). if this is truethis has heavy implications to the lore and might explain how pyro managed to run frontier engineering and uh. wdym pyro is able to make stuff

could always estimate saxtons height using the jungle inferno vid

To be fair to short heavy heights do change often throughout the years like the in the 1950s I’m pretty sure people were shorter on average than nowadays

4:42 I don't think it is impossible for Heavy to be 208.28 cm tall. I mean, he's supposed to be a walking wall with a big gun in a fictional world. The door of my bathroom is 210 cm and, comparing the door with a real world TF2 Heavy, i can actually tell that it's very plausible that he is that tall

I learned I'm as tall as heavy. So, I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now.

I would looove a video on the mercs speed! Great job on this one!

Maybe the comic artists googled the merc heights and saw the 4chan thread, thus accidentally making it become canon

When "If came to me in a dream" is a reliable source

I absolutely hate the fact that something coming from 4chan of all places is pretty accurate.

I like how magic existing is more believable than someone being 5'6

I hope theres a speed followup. great video!

I don't know if I love the idea of the 1/4th Freeman being 20 inches tall. Sure, maybe the HEV suit boots are big, but c'mon, Gordon Freeman is not 6'8. I imagine Black Mesa's (admittedly arbitrary) stat of just barely shy of 6'0 is more accurate.

What 6 years with no updates does to a mfer

I'm stumped that no one thought of this: the in-game Righteous Bison is a 1:1 version of WETA's Righteous Bison. Use that model as a measuring stick, and you can get real measurements.

A squimjim video always does put a smile on my face

I fricking love how the whole video is spent doing calculations literally anything that could be used to measure the mercs' heights after finding out the 4Chan height chart is just a guess, only to turn around and say that yes the 4Chan height chart is accurate rendering the whole video pointless, truly is what 6 years with no updates does to a gamer lmao, A+ video, Great content.

Maybe it wasn’t a guess, maybe they were just embarrassed about actually going through the process of learning their heights.

Oooooh boy a new SquimJim video Bois on the tf2 mercy hights !

Hey, cool and good video as usual... But this all seems slightly tall? Like I could easily imagine Engineer standing below other classes around, like, 5'4, 5'5, which would put the rest of the mid-range more closer to average and not have appraoching-7ft tall Heavy or whatever. Not a huge deal, theyre all fighters or whatever so maybe even the shorter classes being big compared to 50's average or the environment is expected? idk, shorter just seemed simpler to me, even with some of the circumstantial confirmation like the robot figure (kinda) and Anon's guesswork. I am also now curious how other in-game objects measure up now though, as well as Valve's irl Level 1 Sentry :o

8:34 Oh wow!!! 11:17 No this was way better. Remember, it was BASED OFF ASSUMING SNIPER WAS SIX FOOT ONE.

Hey SquimJim I ran into you and Jib during a round of Barnblitz a few days ago. I didn't get the chance to say it in game but your videos are great. Thanks for always managing to come up with interesting and unique ideas for videos. They're always a joy to watch. The fact you do your own art is incredible too.

Thats not spys official hight, a spy of his caliber knows how to fake his height.

according to the valve developer wiki hammer units for humans follow the rule of 1foot is 12 hammer units, I am not good at imperial but I think that comes down to 1 inch per hemmer unit (with the 0.75 inch=1 hammer unit being for map architecture) but this is on a general page for the source engine and the tf2 page says that measurements are a little different in tf2 without specifying what they are

I always think it's pretty funny how huge the difference between a character's canonical features and in-game features can be, like how according to Source, Chell from Portal weighs 185 lbs. Another example is Kratos from God of War, canonically he's 6'4 but in GoW3 his in-game height is 7'6