What are some of your qualities as an INFJ that seem to make others "run" from you?

We're not intimidating, they are intimidated.

Being quiet.... For some reason ppl can't deal with it.

I’ve been asked so many times “can you read minds?” 😂 “are you a witch?” No. I can read you. Your habitual behaviour.

I lay out my boundaries early, and what I don't tolerate. The rest is on them. The testers, pushers, and non believers find out quickly that I meant what I said.

INFJ, one of the "eff around and find out" kind of people.

Calm waters run deep. Reading minds. We're martyrs. Always one step ahead in their minds. We know people's insecurities.

We are the gate keepers. Whatever we don't stop here, will be at your doorstep. If you have an infj in your life - better listen to them. ❤

I’ve noticed most people who feel intimidated by me are insecure. The other times I recognize it’s simply, spiritual… I realize that’s deep but. It is, what it is.

I never "get mad" out of nowhere. I make a conscious decision before an argument or anything like that happens. I thought everyone was like that until I became an adult and learned about the personality types.

"I am going to let that slide because they don't know who they are talking to." Oh I can relate that especially since menopause helped me get in touch with that side of me.

INFJs can see right through people. I think this is what scares people - and also not afraid to confront things are they are.

Wenzes level of presentation is so deep ,that it reaches down to the DNA of the INFJ. Listening to her relate to the unspoken truths of the INFJs psyche is so uncannily accurate it’s spooky . 🙏

One of the strangest parts of being an INFJ is being able to have endless conversations about the complexity and depth of my emotions. As well as having more wisdom than knowledge. The way I dim my light is by playing 'The Fool' archetype. And by dimming my light, people dont see how observant I am. When they see that, they have a weird reaction or maybe even withdraw from me for sometime while they wrestle with the very real question "if he can see everything about me, is he judging me for it?" I can 'feel' the sensation of people watching me thinking I am judging them. Until they realize I both see that and don't judge them. And then they see all the little things I threw in their path to build them up, because my intent and hope for deep relationships is to elevate those I get close to into a higher version of themselves. But even this, i came over some dark places. At my best, I want someone to succeed and become the person THEY want to be, not just succeed at fulfilling a role they chose or had chosen for themself. At my worst, I want them to receive equivalent reciprocal karma for their missteps and bad intent. Did I mention that INFJs are complicated yet??? 😂😂😂

Only scared that I will fall in love with every INFJ I meet. I am an INFP by the way.

THE 5 MOST INTIMIDATING QUALITIES OF THE INFJ (that make others run for the hills) 1. Calm waters run deep -> 1:17 2. Reading g minds -> 6:04 3. INFJ are martyrs. -> 8:54 4. INFJ always one step ahead in their minds -> 13:20 5. INFJ know peoples insecurities -> 16:09 P.S It's not so hard to do the time stamps, try it out guys ;)

Introvert no words needed to destroy narcissistic egos

Amazing how God made a few specific people to be able to just up and really help someone because we just grasp the situation so easily. The fact that every human, especially us infjs, are mades so wonderfully complex also shows the intelligence of a Creator!kzfaq.info/get/bejne/o6-Vhbhil7m4fqs.htmlsi=ir0cladvAsjU5Rhp

I have found the retaliation of certain people who have understood that we can read them and their game can get pretty vicious, especially in the corporate environment. Many people take the INFJ for granted. Yes it is enabling snd that is why we attract Narcs. We need to learn to keep our own cup full before we give to others.

what is important to the world is secondary to us and this makes them mad 💥✨

In my opinion, if someone really wants to know your boundaries, they don’t have to be rude, mean, or try to provoke you to do this. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to answer them, but why don’t they just ask questions? That’s what emotionally mature people do, which helps prevent a whole lot of unnecessary drama or problems. Nonetheless, people are still entitled to their privacy whether they answer others or not, and others should respect that, back off, and leave them alone. But again, this is just my opinion.

Coworkers with a control problem, if not thirst for power.. every now and then a new one comes into my life. I have a way of conveying to them that I won't let them control me and once this moment happens, they are forever different around me. There's some relief in this, a sense of power over myself, and that I made the world a slightly better place : )

I love how you always advocate for us! My first reaction is self-criticism, and then, there's your voice, and somehow it always tells a much better story!! Thank you for your work!!

Dimming our light to make someone else shine is not a facade, it's genuine. We would much rather someone happy than any other emotion. It fulfills us, It's deeply real, not a facade. (In primary school I use to make comedy to make people laugh and they would laugh so hard, hysterically sometimes even peeing their pants. I had to tone it down). I think what the point is, is that we should not wait for others to do the same for us, that won't happen. The world is not geared that way. We have to do it for ourselves. Make space for ourselves, go for our goals via any means possible, by hook or by crook.

My mother … needed a reaction. Never could understand what she wanted that I wasn’t giving her. She used anger, screaming, beatings and taking away anything she gave me … presents, clothing, etc. I followed all the house rules. Honor student. Needed special glasses in high school. Explained it to her. She said get a job at Walgreens (three miles from home) on weekends/evenings and pay for them yourself. Instead of being upset and begging..I walked there, got the job, bought my glasses. Never understood her anger because I did exactly what she told me to do. OMG… she made me a strong woman. Thanks, mom. Don’t love you, but I appreciate the strength of character that helped me through life.

As an INFJ Advocate I can't stand those bullies that emotional profile another. I will stand up against them.

haha, the martyr thing is so true, the reason I use headphones is so I do not annoy people, the reason I wait for others to finish lets say going to the bathroom so I am the last is so they do not have to wait for me. people always find that behaviour a bit odd but never question it and this sort of "regulation" you have to your surroundings, i.e. not being loud on the telephone on a public space or making space for someone else are things a lot of other people do not even care about, you have to ask them that. I think it is because as INFJs that is our people pleasing mentality coming through but also our great perception. One time on a birthday my aunt was flabbergasted when I asked for decaf coffee cause my grandma can not have it and she realized no one else even thought of that. we often times analyze situations, have our own little sort of "cards" for each person, knowing their quirks and try to apply that to a situation. Back in the day when I was a kid I assumed everyone thought this way, but later came to realize I think a lot more about stuff and people than they do.

As an INFJ i always expect the unexpected.I never get excited.

Use your INFJ abilities at the poker table

Sometimes people can feel me seeing through them into their soul and it freaks them out because they do not like not being able to hide or lie. I have gotten really good with my non-verbal and indirect communication to subtly show or indicate things without having to directly tell. Every once in a while I catch a demon and they squirm bc they know I know that they know I know.

As an INFJ I recognized my self with a deeper understanding thanks for sharing.

Ive been going around challanging people who complain about the "system" They if they do nothing about it, its the same as letting the bad guys win, that we could change it together.

I'd love to see a video about when an INFJ meets another INFJ given how rare that encounter is.

Hats off to Wenzes for standing up to her coworker! When I finally learn to stand up for myself that’ll be my biggest leap in social skills.

Yep, this has happened to me last month. It was someone more senior at work. I had my " say", and he RUN...it was said politely and to the point and publicly. Yes, it needs to be done, but with elegance and integrity.

An ENTJ reached out to congratulate me on an honor I received and I was responsive, grateful and let them know to ask me if they promote their services on my platform in the future. The person immediately claimed I was triggered, insulted my intellect, insinuated I needed to speak to someone about people pleasing. All because I politely ask they honor a boundary. I had to block them.

And when we snap people look like we are crazy. I worked with a guy for 4 years and about 2 weeks ago, I finally snapped. He ended up quitting out of rage and anger. I had even requested that he not push me. He kept up. The bosses didn't do anything about it until I finally blew my top. People were like oh..it's that redhead temper, nope, I was just pushed to far.

I am. Single, independent, professional, confident woman. I am not bound my society’s pressures. People don’t seem to know how to respond to me.

INFJ-T ♓🖤 The calm is scary. Always has been. 99% of everyone who meets me is just naturally wtf? And feels as though I am just something dangerous. No matter how calm I am. And it's the creepy calm that horrifies so many others. They just cannot comprehend. And I'm like I'm just the nicest person. It literally takes hurricanes to get the calm to subside and the Shadow within to come out. And I have learned that this is always the absolute last option. But they can feel that we are just not the same. I've been to Prison once for long enough and never not once in any way did anyone at all even speak disrespectfully to me. And I was younger and didn't know I was an INFJ-A ♓ at that time and I was always trying to understand what the difference was and why no one treated me the way everyone is typically treated. 💯

I’ve have told people… you are better off putting your 2 hands on a mountain and moving it… I cannot let them rule me… if they can control your feelings they can control you…

Doesn't matter if you tell ppl. Since INFJ are so calm, it's mostly not even heard with the ears they need to hear the message with.

I like that calm cool analysis trait, it reminds me of Mr Spock; he usually was the one saving the Enterprise, but Kirk takes all the credit. lol

Damn you’re good

As an ENTP, I would LIKE to say date us ENTPs because we are always trying to better ourselves. Pinpoint our insecurities and help us in the journey of self-betterment. We ❤ you INFJ's! Once we get to the tactful ENTP... this is one of the best couplings possible!

Narcissists will push and push and push. When your aware of them you never give in. Blows their minds. That’s when narcissists want to get aggressive and physical. Having punches thrown at my face in multiple occasions and I never flinched the narcissist walked away. Too bad soo sad for them!

I've become very assertive and I have no fear , I learned I don't hold things in , and it's so light feeling ✨️

I make space for others, it's not always about martyrdom

As an INFJ who has suffered with CPtsd most of my life I have outbursts fairly often when I’m pushed into situations that I have little control over other than to leave of course. In my own home with family I can snap but come back quickly. Also one family member is a BPD so because I’m the one who fixes and cares for everyone I get delegated to deal with them until I no longer can…🤦‍♀️

well, I have a hard time when other people are talking about themselves and I ask them questions and we go deep and I reveal to them what they don't see and they just get confused about themselves and end up resenting me :(

I've never seen myself as being intimidating. This is food for thought.

At around 15 minute mark, thinking logically. -- quality number 4 -- can be very helpful in fields such as law enforcement , EMS, wilderness guiding, etc -- anything involving encounters with surprises or crises.:-)

I do have a coworker who seems to be trying to push buttons, but it's hard to tell if she is playing a power game trying to irritate others, or if she is just a self absorbed twit that doesn't know the effect she has on people. It's possible if I put her on notice she might wake up and be more aware, or she might stop playing her games. If I weren't so conflict adverse, and if she weren't so protected in the system, I might find out.

This was so 🔥 that I’m listening the 3rd time on my town trip! My hair dresser is also INFJ and we tend to drift to these topics. We both share these talks for the self understanding and clarity on boundaries. 🙏🏻 Thank you!! 💕

Good riddance to those who don't appreciate or understand us.

Im really happy you make videos like this. I always forget and start feeling bad about myself because of how others coin me. My sister called me a "narcissistic psychopath who controls and manipulates everyone around her." Although the way i see it, it's actually her who behaves that way. I can't understand why she even had that idea of me but then I watch your videos and you explain that I held my light back to make her feel better. And i realized I did dampen myself to lift her up and I also tip toed around her but if I didn't, she would have outbursts and yell. When I got tired of doing that after she had pushed me to the edge, then I was honest about her self-centered pushy behavior and I have gotten the cold shoulder from my own sister for more than 4 years who wishes I would die for that one incident. but tbh, it's less stress that shes been out of my life.

Hearing all of this is like hitting the bullseye 👁 🎯 thankyou Wenzes! 😊

If someone is being bullied, my advice to them is just give them the don’t mess with me look…

Thank you Wenzes! I grew up as a little boy saying “ never get excited”! I observed so many people spinning their wheels worrying about anything and everything. Not for me! That’s nuts! I observe it on the highways even the doctors office everyone looses their 💩! People tried to push my buttons but they always got warned “ you don’t want to release the beast”! After high school people backed down. People were respectful. I liked sitting in a mall around the holidays and watch people walk in and out. Trying to read them and their lives. It was enjoyable and often correct with the people I met. Often have three or more projects going on in my head at a time. Even when I’m reading I can think about other books and where what I’m reading applies. Woo hoo thank you Wenzes! You’re tops!

Others would hear this as being bombastic and arrogant. But the thing is, it's all 100% accurate. What you are doing Wenzes provides so much value. To hear someone explain your entire life is incredibly liberating. Thank you for what you do.

We are strong and confident 💪 that's there own insecurities about themselves

Wenze's I concur with you people do run to the hills because of what I am.Wenze's your awesome.Jerome❤❤❤

I've been waiting for one like this. Thank you so much.

100% expert level

💯 facts thanks love your videos

I belive that many run from me because I challenge them to be couragious. I often act obviously unconcerned about peer pressure. I also really do see through the masks (it is always on my mind; what someone is hiding) and that makes them feel exposed because I guess I get right to the heart of matters which expose the charade. YET, I too use a mask, ugh. But, again tonight I removed the mask and it is true that Im WaaAAay better without it. And feel more honest. Wenzes, You are so dead on on so many things, wow. I am really encouraged by your insighs. Please know you are being prayed for. Jesus bless you.

About us reading minds! I in general agree byt these INFJ like me who can predict what other are thinking currently & 4 myself very very very accurately predict the future behaviour & get it right , weather its seconds ,hours,days or decades! This is a superpower thats literally saved my life in some very dark dangerous situations. I am a (SRA) survivor & ive used this god given gift to out manoeuvre thousands of these cult members who are still trying to F with me! So I no from my own life is sych a gift being an INFJ

You are spot on!

So helpful and enlightening! Thank you!

Hello ma'am, Thank you for the insight into the INFJ. I needed this information in order to understand the INFJ in my life. You have shown me through your videos that I let my guard down (as my own internal warning bell had told me before), and I let her get too close. But to be fair, she wiggled into my heart by herself...I was not looking for it or expecting it. Thanks again for the videos.

I'm literally watching this as everyone else are ringing in the new year, because I haven't wanted to "rock the boat". I swear, this video is pumping me up like some kind of pre-game warm up. There's literally not a better time that I can think of,.... to start a new! I'm not doing this $#!+ anymore. I'm tired of feeling responsible for someone else's happiness, bending over backwards to make them happy, only for them to just be upset about something else, and on and on.... life's too short for this $#!+, I'm not the cause of her unhappiness and I'm not responsible for fixing it, especially when she does literally nothing to work on herself, because none of our issues are ever about her. I don't know how I didn't see these things before. I mean, when I hear you say these things out loud, it's super obvious. But being in the relationship and never actually hearing about this stuff before, I guess I was just blind to it all. Normally, I would have gone into the new year all down and sad because she's upset and asleep on the couch and I couldn't make New Years fun for her and blah blah blah.... But instead, I'm pumped and ready for the new year and I'm not doing whatever this $#!+ is anymore. Seriously, I couldn't have seen this video at a better time.

Brilliant Number five Fascinating thank you.. Sending love blessings and respe ♥️🙏☀️xx

I'm super nice and outgoing but if threatened, challenged,or attacked in any way I will not only match your energy I will surpass it depending on the amount of arrogance and ignorance you provide me with

For most of my life anytime told me I was intimidating it came to me as a complete shock, usually provoking astonishment from the other person. Thank you for helping me to finally understand this. It is spooky how exactly accurate your videos tend to be.

I found the dance of deception masked in "caring" for others (which we genuinely do) is delaying the inevitable. We know very early who might be tolerable to extend ourselves (and they) to further the relationship. I don't want to waste your time or mine. Set "deal breaker" boundaries as early as possible and the strong enough to endure us will be attracted and the offended needed to find another who is like minded. Ex: Think of me as a monk, which I am. I don't want to have set with you and I'm getting better at not hating chit chat.. Oh yes, please don't ever just stop by. I want to have meaningful talks with people and if that bothers you, I'm truly sorry. Be blessed

every video from your channel is givin me goosebumps, never no one have helped me so much to understand my personality, thanks you so much

Another illuminating video, Wenzes. I would love to see you do some content on Dario Nardi's research on the sub-types: Dominant, Normalising, Creative and Harmonising. And now I'm getting really demanding... how the Enneagram types influence the INFJ. Thank you so much again.

holy sht.. this just blew my mind, thank you!!!

Wow this is nuts I would build my ex up in return he tore me down andwhen he saw me get up, he took another shot He was also steal8ng my light and energy

I really love this channel but its hard to relate sometimes as an infj with severe cptsd. This channel represents where i want to be. So thank you.

Wenzes, you nailed it, thanks! :)

Great video👍❤

2:00 -- I used to work with a woman who I could tell was NOT impressed with me, for whatever reason. And one day she was telling me a story that I could tell, as she was telling it, was supposed to make me go, "whoa!" And it did not make me do that, because it wasn't that great a story. I was supposed to react to her description and to HER in-the-moment response. Each element was intended to get a reaction. I simultaneously felt this compulsion to not react at all, because I knew that's what she wanted. There have been other times when something similar has occurred, but I think this was the first time I was aware of it as it was happening.

#3 Why is it intimidating and triggering for others? I've got to find the why. If it was done for me, I would just say thank you and now it's your turn. That's the gracious and polite thing to do, is it not ?? It's not our problem, whoever is triggered or intimidated has an issue. Actually if you think about it, it is another gift toward (mental) health. I know if I am triggered or intimidated it's something I have to work on.

Cool stuff. I believe I am INFJ.

I'm an infj and I get triggered easily unfortunately, especially in the face of witnessing injustice or feeling taken advantage of

sometimes I have to say, "i'm so sorry sweet heard, I can't down shift gears that low...so you need to step ..."

Love your videos! 🥰

Plus it’s pretty hard to thank anyone if they won’t ever be real with you Thanking your phone isn’t a reality

OMG I know it's wrong but I laughed at this whole video because I am an INFJ and this is so so so accurate because so many times all of this stuff has come to light and now I'm just like YEAH I KNOW and you just sit back and watch it all 😂 I'm SUPER PROUD of all my INFJ qualities 🖤

"many people intimidating me to make me feel unconfortable, not me who intimidating them, they talk bad words about me to make me feel unconfortable even they are not mention my name i feel those bad words belongs to me.i have strong intuition that's why i know their real intention and motives towards me,they want me to become one of their member that's the real story after i studied their behaviour and and patterns i conclude this true and correct!"

This is so true!

3) martyrs I have found in my experience I get this very same reaction from people e.g. whether Im like an open book & not hide things about myself or dim my light to make others feel comfortable. I get the same reaction which is I can see them getting flustered before my very eyes often changing the subject or cutting the conversation short and literally running from me. I get this with people I know very well as well as people I first meet. I also get people trying to compete with me a lot especially at work amongst some people I barely even speak to or even know.im very respectful and kind to people so find it Very baffling & confusing I honestly dont know what it is. Thats why im mostly a loner & keep to myself.

Girl it’s 2023 . People got through Covid. Some are struggling w depression during these financial times. No one cares about personality disorders. Honestly. We have the people we need and love. Who cares

Wow, I never thought of martyrdom as one of my qualities, but I get it.

This scares me somewhat. Theres nothing ive heard out of this ladys mouth that isnt who i am as a person. Its crazy how accurate that test is, genuinely phenomenal.

Amen girl 🎉 so true.

You said it right 🙂👍

I'm an INFJ and I had went to a new school I realized that our teacher had been acting kinda off. (apparently she had just been through a messy break up and not told anyone). anyways as she was speaking I was staring dead into her eyes and she kept trying to avoid my gaze (and failed) before she got very self consensus and kept adjusting her clothes, fixing her hair ect... then she began to cry and was asking me what she was doing wrong, I remember being very confused and saying that she was doing everything just right. I still feel bad about it and it was around 12 years ago.

Your a wonderful woman to me . Thank you for your logic..😊

I can totally read minds well pattern rec i pay close attention Agree i make sure i keep th8s feature of myself up to par