Lesley Headland's face looks like a Lego person come to life.

Every single shot is a "cool" pose. Everyone struts when they walk. Every face is stoic. Every cloak is splayed out or billowing constantly. It's all "trying" to be cool, without any cool moments.

I heard someone call it "A mystery-box, in a dumpster fire, in space!" LOL

They had four years to straighten out the script. FOUR YEARS!😦

Should have ended with the other bit of Ash's speech. "There's only one thing I could say to some sort of devotee of Disney+ Star Wars who would have the perseverance and the will to watch this show all the way to the bitter end: 'I can't lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies.'"

"...blunt force inclusivity..." gold.

Paint a karen with green and you have a jedi master.

At this point, we need to all stop hate watching it or reviewing it. Just let it fade into obscurity and just let the 25 actual fans talk about it amongst themselves.

I don't think I'll ever stop wince-laughing at Amandla Gooberberg's "dancing". Egad.

I love Echo Chamberlain’s descriptions of his hypothetical debating partner 😃

I, also, admire its purity. And how committed all the writers are to writing their scripts in less than a day. It's really impressive if you think about it, considering how many writers are on board for this.

"She was a child." "You brought her." That one exchange - and _only_ that one - demonstrates that the writers _could_ do better, but they _chose_ not to. They set out to produce this swill.

Lesley Headlands Wife is listed on IMDB as Lesley Headlands Wife. She has no own name.🤣

The green Leslie headlands husband/ wife acting skills comparison was hilarious 😂

Everyone is calling him "Squid Game Guy", poor thing. He's gonna be SGG for life.

A show that joins Saints Row 2022, Suicide Squad KTJL, She Hulk: Attorney at Law, and Velma in being in a few rare group of failing at literally everything. What an honor!

It's great that the writer's strike was settled. It's a shame not a single writer had a dictionary that included the word "canon".

"It's like poetry, they rhyme. Every failure kinda rhymes with the last one." -Kathleen Kennedy

Echo Chamberlain absolutely savaging the Acolyte is the only thing that brings me joy in life

I really admire Echo's delivery. As an Australian, I really appreciate the New Zealand accent. 🇳🇿 ANZAC.

4 years on that script , think about that ... 4 years

Harvey Weinsteins personal assistant was handed the keys to Star Wars? That’s a question I never thought I’d ever type…

The best thing to come from this show are critiques like these.

This roast is one of the best things to come from The Wokalyte.

It doesn't even make a dent on any starwars history this is like another universe starwars

silver lining.. it has given many of my favourite channels quality fodder to disembowel in order to make me laugh and smile so so many times.. cant wait for "rings of prime 2" next.. :-)

I must say that the new ships that were designed by the grunts at lucasfilm are actually beautiful to look at and I would love to spend more time on the vehicle porn but you get less than one second as a identifying location shot of every ship they're in which again takes less than one second so really I don't even know if the ships are cool unless I freeze frame on them way to go Star Wars. You did all the hard work in the background and didn't even let us see it in the show..

I love the line "[the diversity] ceases to be apparent to the viewer." This is the test I apply to any media nowadays to discern whether the diversity is fake/forced or natural

As someone who hates Disney I love the idea of them wasting lots of money on failed projects.

Sadly, all true. It is hard to imagine a show, especially from Disney, that fails so abysmally on all levels. No charm, no magic

the tribe got what they wanted: destroy one of the most beloved modern westerns epics

30 seconds of dialogue in this critique is infinitely better than the best of all 6 episodes combined.

The comment about Leslie's partner's acting performance was cruel, so cruel 😂

That scrawny Jedi looks like he’d struggle to even lift a lightsaber. Maybe even a strong breeze would kill him.

Damn! My dog just left a huge pile of acolyte on the couch!

one of the biggest offenses are the twins, there's no actual reason they needed to be born of the force, its literally irrelevant to the entire show, the only reason its used is to devalue Anakin, that's it, just "another happy accident" all of the original mythos has been destroyed the legacy heroes broken has-been that achieved nothing the new republic a pointless thing the Skywalker line entirely killed for the sake of Palpatine cause "evil is just misunderstood" that media pushes to allow evil, evil pushing evil no surprise the sith always around now and Jedi are the bad ones there's no value in any of it now

I grew up with Ivanhoe, Black Beauty, Pipi Longbottom, Buck Rogers. Personally I am convinced this is all done purposefully and wilfully. The incompetence argument does not fly with me anymore. We are way past incompetence at this point.

Sir Echo, we thank you for every brutal, elegant sentence of this.

I’ve had no intention what-so-ever of ever watching this show…and will continue to have no intention what-so-ever of watching this show, however, I have become thouroughly entertained and laughing out loudly at Echo Chamberland and some other's reviews of this show…and enjoy watcdhing these on almost a daily basis… Thank You so much for the Belley-Laughs!!!!

Has to be the single most level-headed, unbiased burn I've ever watched.

It succeeds quite well at putting yet another nail in the Star Wars coffin!

Huzzah! Unlike the show that is the subject of this piece, your analysis features desirable attributes such as being astute, well-reasoned, wry, charming and entertaining.

I have admiration for Lee Jung Jae in that he is putting his best in for thus show and even learned how to speak English for the role........I also like the Darth Smylo dude........

Jesus fkin christ that thumbnail had me crackin up for like a full minute 4 some reason😂😂😂

"Fat Jedi guy needing whole frames to himself." 😂😂🤣🤣

Thank you for acknowledging my tone of measured provisional open-mindedness.

It’s the difference between consistency and accuracy.

I gotta give Disney the credit for giving us crappy projects to make fun of.

Up till episode 4 it was funny bad. As in a group of drunken lads failing to get into their own car. But then they just give up. Things just start to happen because the story needs it. It became insulting.

... Even Ash knew it was better to be immolated.

Considering 'The Acolyte' is missing two glaring things - Quality and White Guys - I'd say that Diversity is NOT synonymous with quality, and more synonymous with simple pandering. If the cost of empowering marginalized social groups in America is the loss of Star Wars as a whole, then the price paid was too high for what was lost.

“Obi-Non-Binary”!!! LOL!!! That’s the best!

It's amazing that not only did you know what I would say as I watched this video, you also new the tones I would use!

Haven’t even seen the show but I can tell their line delivery has more life than the voice over for this video

Sad but true. Well structured, honest analysis.

The helmet and bracers are cortosis, which is not supposed to be able to be forged into armor.

great video

Great video, well summed up!

It’s extremely telling they had no idea what they were doing when Headland said she made Qimir’s role bigger after seeing how the actor did with it. I’m fairly certain that meant they changed the story in a major way after filming had started, rather than, say, during table reads. And if so, that’s a confession they were just winging it to whole way, which explains a lot.

I swear, Disney will probably start making historical drama’s with gender-neutral language, in order to erase all gendered language from history.

@4:20 CANON, what you smokin'?

Loved it. The review, silly! Not the show!

Canon, one "n". Don't mind me, a pet peeve. All else good.

One irony, (or maybe not considering their preoccupation with themselves) is the DEI creators of Disney Star Bores deliberately and openly set out to maliciously criticize the original films , its fans, its themes, and its characters, but cannot tolerate anyone criticizing their own critique of the original work. The fact that they got their way and made their point isn’t enough for these zealots, they need to lash out and use the homophobia label to describe anyone who doesn’t find their work amazing. I guess it’s not a surprise that creators who cannot contrast good and evil in any meaningful way, likewise cannot distinguish a good story from a flat, boring, self-indulgent journey to nowhere.

Pride before the downfall

Another issue with the blocking/ shots that Platoon articulated better than I ever could- things like: Characters disappear from scenes (even those where it would make sense for them to be there), & come from odd directions, according to what the previous action has indicated - characters are 'on pause', as though they're pointedly held back until they're needed for the scene - they stay standing still when they should go - do nothing when previous scenes dictate that they would do something - & have no logical follow-through when they have the advantage...

You have failed me, Acolyte. Completely and utterly.

"I want Ki Adi Mundi in my show, that takes place 100 years before the movie he's in, where he's already old AF. Can I do that?" And absolutely no one thinks to check wookiepedia to see if he would be alive at that time. Lmao no one at all finds it weird that this guy would be over 100 years old in the prequel films. Instead of saying "hold on and I'll check if that would make sense and let you know," they just said "🤔 ya know, Yoda is over 100 years old I think, so I guess age has no meaning in Star Wars....SURE! 😄 Go ahead!"

Splendid!

The Expanse is another series that had naturalistic diversity. That series was awesome.

"The Asian market is currently one of the hottest for competition among streaming platforms. And it’s an area where Disney+ is aiming to make its mark against its numerous competitors. The Magical Kingdom’s streaming platform recently reached the milestone of five million subscribers in Indonesia...." I'm not sure why nobody seems to have pointed out that this show is obviously not really for North American audiences. The terrible performances don't matter much. It will be re-dubbed, and Asian audiences will focus on the kung-fu fights between the Asian hero vs. the Asian villain, not the dim twins.

“The power of one…the power of two….the power of many…”. I think they were trying to count the number of different genders in the Acolyte world.

We could've had a legitimate High Republic or Knights of the Old Republic movie for this budget.

It's comprehensive. The mystery is frustrating as the goalposts keep shifting. In a decent mystery or thriller, there is generally one mystery, with maybe a misdirect or two. So what is the mystery now? Who is the real master? Really? That wasn't on the cards for 4 eps. At least now I won't go to my grave without having seen a fanfic Blue Lagoon v Star Wars scene. Sith Helmet Rising... ?

Parading around in an ill-fitting Star Wars skin suit - the Acolyte

Great writing. Finally a writer on KZfaq. Love the format too.

The best part of these shows/movies being terrible is its made me step back and ask what do I want to spend my time on now that my favorite toys have been taken away. It's made me ask why I watched so much TV to begin with. It was a distraction from having to be alone with my mind and those nagging thoughts that life could be better lived if I put down the remote. Coming back to these shows now is like watching an addict think they can relive the fun days of getting high and the adventures that took one on. It's just sad now to watch people go back for more of these shows when they know what they are getting from it and those glory days aren't coming back so they might as well grow up and listen to their conscience.

Well that explains why Jecky was even better than the other Jedi... She was actually trained by a white guy.😁

The writers have no skill and were hired for whatever not actual experience or skill.

Your review was so clever.

Just watching this video, it strikes me how some of the alien designs and make up don’t quite fit into the Star Wars aesthetic. It might just be me but they look quite cheap and unimaginative, like they are the result of a tight budget and lesser talent. I mean no offence to anyone involved and character design is probably the least of the show’s problems but it all adds up.

I LOVE this show. I just cannot get enough of it. PLEASE make a season 2 and 3, i beg you! The Acolyte is THE SHOW of 2024 for me. I can't remember when I last was this excited about next weeks episode of a show. Why do I love it? I love it soo much, because i have never, nor did i have the imagination to make it, seen a show so horrible written. It defies my understanding of writing than anyone could turn in the script for this show, and think it was good. It is so badly written, that I can't express it properly. But by God is it glorious to watch. It's like a VERY bad 12 year old wrote a show. And that might be throwing shade on 12 year olds... If you are into writing, I HIGHLY recommend this show. It is a glorious buffey of the most lazy writing imaginable.

Star Wars finally turned into 2000s Star Treck.

In episode 6 they even failed to properly fail.

"Funny I don't remember owning any droid named R2D2SLGBTQIAPP+"

This channel is so awesome

Flat 😂😂😂 in two roles 😂😂

I honestly thought that almost everyone was new to the english language on this show!

This script is the result of the first draft of a single brainstorming session by a dozen 10 year olds who heard of Star Wars once, their intense research of The Book of Boba Fett, Obiwan Kenobi, and Ahsoka, and their committed to checking all the boxes of Disney Lucasfilm mandate.

urgggh 'Canon'.

180 millions dollars for hiring people based on their sexual preferences, gender, skin colour and activism. Disney should write a book on how to burn money

That green woman Jedi reminds me of a 1980s Annie Lennox.😆

One thing I noticed is that they made all the lightsabers fat and clunky looking, to make them match the cheep trash ones they sell at the park.

well written roast!

No, he was not Sith, he "Identifies" as Sith.

It’s literally so badly done it gives off the impression that it was intentional/deliberate. KK and her goon squad has systematically destroyed everything SW, and naturally the only thing left was the Jedi Order itself, to be made a joke of.

Well done.

With this show Sith most definitely happened.

Love your videos ❤ There is only one thing I am missing... I was hoping you would add a little song as a reaction to Amandla's "music" video 😂😂😂

I'd say everyone who has something to do with the Acolyte midden heap should watch this video, but none of them could understand it.