I’ve noticed that when I’m with someone who is avoidant, I become more anxious. When I’m with someone who is secure, I become more secure. And when I’m with someone who is anxious, I become more avoidant. But overall I find myself more often then not being attracted to avoidants so I think my natural attachment style is slightly anxious.
@nataliescott91194 жыл бұрын
Saaaaaame.
@adamwood874 жыл бұрын
that's a fearful avoidant, AKA disorganized or anxious avoidant.
@NicoleLam3 жыл бұрын
same!
@ChrisLT3 жыл бұрын
Same
@RebekahAPinto3 жыл бұрын
You're a mixture of everything.
@abbiefischer33654 жыл бұрын
I hate the stereotype that people with the anxious attachment style, usually girls, are “crazy”. Everyone has a reason for the things they do and the way they feel and it’s refreshing knowing that I’m not crazy, i just have different needs than my partner. My partner however convinces me that I’m always in the wrong, that I’m too needy or just being a baby and that i just need to stop caring. Thank you so much craig and Margaret for showing me that there’s no right and wrong and that my feelings are valid.
@adamwood874 жыл бұрын
i know what you mean. an AP with an avoidant (FA or DA) will be thought of as super clingy. before i found out about attachment styles, i thought i was just able to love harder than most. while i have not forfeited my capacity for love, i see now that i need to have more in my life, and not depend on my woman to be the sole source of happiness for me - though, to be fair, it's only an issue when i am feeling rejected; when i get like that, i could rightly be called "crazy," though it's merely something i need to learn to feel safe talking about.
@SilentPhilly5 ай бұрын
I'm not sure, but I think I'm dating an avoidant partner. I"m anxious. And we have slightly other problem - I can't be very open with him and he noticed that and it's irritating him a little. He wants me to know better, he needs it to understand, if we pass each other. But I have troubles to be open, because I don't feel secure with him. Although he is very nice, pretty kind, but a little emotionally closed and I can't tell, whether he likes me truly or just wants situationship. But now we have a deadline)) it makes me feel a little calmer
@joeybaboon90134 жыл бұрын
I'm so healthy now, I feel like my mind has completely opened up and it is the best feeling a human being can experience, I PROMISE YOU ❤
@HugDealer4 жыл бұрын
I would say that the biggest fear for many avoidants is rejection. Engulfment is also a fear but I think for many, despite the independent facade, it stems from the avoidant thinking "If I let my partner (or anyone) too close, they will know the real me and will see my flaws". So by rejecting first, or keeping everyone at arm's length, they don't have to feel the loss of control of being known too well and then rejected
@wildangel44524 жыл бұрын
True
@leslieknighton89624 жыл бұрын
Exactly!!
@DiamondsRexpensive3 жыл бұрын
It is a self fulfilling prophecy, how ironic.
@olaswar96504 жыл бұрын
Interesting point.. 👍 Anxious people are avoident in their own way
@trailerfitter24 жыл бұрын
it's a spectrum from what I understand and I bet over time people move slightly one way or another.
@gregoryjwhite74 жыл бұрын
It’s a nightmare dating an avoidant. Closeness is their kryptonight. I’m an anxious and agree that deep down there is an avoidant aspect as well. Great vid & thank you both for the great content!
@trailerfitter24 жыл бұрын
It is because the avoidant feels the desperation in the desire for intimacy. An avoidant will open up in a time when they feel securer in a relationship and the anxious is trusted..
@akaril55383 жыл бұрын
I'm 38, anxious-preoccupied as hell, and it's the first time I'm dealing with an extreme avoidant. He has a history of always backing away, but I wasn't so damaged and out of control before him. He left, again, and the trauma continues. I feel so much pain. Didn't know how bad things could get inside. It's a nightmare.
@sterneprinzessin3 жыл бұрын
I feel you. I just managed to shy an avoidant away with over texting. Never done it before, but him not responding sent me down a spiral. He broke up with me and I am heart- broken...
@ErikaK4 жыл бұрын
when you have a strong and healthy relationship, you can be yourself and honest without fear, avoidance and anxiety. You just feel free to be who you are and you can communicate freely. Avoiding things makes everything more and more complicated and it takes us nowhere with the relationship.
@FAnsari0014 жыл бұрын
Wow this explained the core issue from my 15 month relationship. Holy shit. I'm aware now I'm anxious and my ex was avoidant. It was recurrent arguments and my fear of him leaving/him always using "if/when" statements making me feel distant. We broke up and it's been 3 weeks and time has made it better, but these videos help so much Thank you
@666numberofthebeast4 жыл бұрын
Same! It's been only 3 days tho And I been ignoring him
@666numberofthebeast4 жыл бұрын
I broke up with him. Sick of the inconsistency
@allisonthompson6548 Жыл бұрын
This is so true. I am an anxious person who is seeing an avoidant guy. I never knew anything about attachment styles and Craig Kenneth changed my life. I am learning to become a secure person who totally understands my avoidant guy. I wish I had learned this a long time ago but I am changing myself now.
@Sarablueunicorn4 жыл бұрын
that's my ex: "I want the relationship but I don't want you to be part of other aspects of my life"
@akaril55383 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry you had to hear that 😢
@lauraa27783 жыл бұрын
This. Can empathize ...
@joeybaboon90134 жыл бұрын
Life can be too much for a person sometimes.. it takes a very strong person to fight through the adversity of life. If you can fight through the adversity, then you can do anything you want in this world.. REAL TALK ❤
@kimt09184 жыл бұрын
This is such good information. Please do more videos on this topic. I learn so much about myself with these attachment styles.
@AN-lm6bs3 жыл бұрын
THESE TWO MAKE A GREAT COUPLE, DOWN TO THEIR CUTE MATCHING PURPLE SHIRTS, AND CHEMISTRY!!! HIS WIFE IS A BEAUTY, WHAT A LUCKY GUY, THANKS FOR THIS GREAT CHANNEL
@maryfraser88214 жыл бұрын
I have been listening to alot of your videos on attachment styles add I am definitely an anxious attachment style with massive separation and abandonment issues. The reason I hadn't been 100% sure that this was my attachment style as I do show some avoidant attachment characteristics. Thank you for explaining and showing that you don't necessarily fit in 1 box. Xx
@connyjo67214 жыл бұрын
Love watching you guys in the morning as I get ready for work ♥️
@johndaily42634 жыл бұрын
What about a video on how to break out of that trap and get more secure? Healing insecure attachment styles
@andrewvo83954 жыл бұрын
I do believe that anxious people are actually a hybrid of both anxious and avoidant. My GF is anxious and she finds many small things to pick fights with me about, when really they shouldn’t be problems at all. I feel like she does it to bait me into arguing so that I’ll say something that will justify her need for space. The human mind is complex yet fascinating.
@Sarablueunicorn4 жыл бұрын
I'm anxious style and have generalised anxiety disorder.Im always in a state of internal panic and picking fight over small things it's a subconscious way of getting a partners attention. All kind of attention is good even if its negative one.
@laconsuela692 жыл бұрын
They call that fearful avoidant, which is basically a mix of both
@nakitanash Жыл бұрын
As an anxious, I agree that many times we find small things to pick about, but it’s not because we want space. It’s because we already feel so unseen and our needs so unmet so we keep trying to look for chances to express needs that our partner will validate and respond to positively in a way that makes us feel seen, heard, accepted and cared about. It’s try after try after try for intimacy and safety… We really do have the capacity for closeness, and we are ready and willing to go through the hard part to get to the good part at the end because we have hope in others. We have the hope that others can do what we know we can do and want to do if we only had a partner who wanted to be intimate. We want a partner that is mostly secure behaving and confident but who also has space for someone else who might be a little different. When we express needs, the avoidant cannot relate because they don’t feel their needs even though they have them. They feel that if they can’t express their needs, why should someone else even have needs, I think
@gabbymontoya20854 жыл бұрын
I used to be a secure ..the avoidant converted me into anxious..this is not me...IM done!!!
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li3 жыл бұрын
Now that you know Just stay away from avoidants .. They are doomed anyway 🤷♀️🙄
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li3 жыл бұрын
An avoidant hardly ever dates another avoidant 🤷♀️🤣 Their can't be enough friction you see🙄 That's why I say avoidants are pure bastards..They need and want Love more than the anxious one but they keep it hidden to hv an upper hand in the relationship dynamic! Because they always say to the anxious.. I don't want your love..🙄Keep space.. Then why don't these motherfuckers simply date another avoidant🤣🤷♀️there will be ample of space🤣🤷♀️ given and the other avoidant will obviously not give a fuckk ever anyway so they won't hv to say I don't want your love.. 🤷♀️🤣🙄Filthy coward motherfuckers👊🏻🤬🤬🤬
@connorb90973 жыл бұрын
Wanna date
@merricmellow49353 жыл бұрын
@@PriyankaGupta-ew1li lmao we need to talk please, can you add me?
@colscary2 ай бұрын
ikr ;-;
@joannah16574 жыл бұрын
Recently discovered your channel and have been binge watching your videos. My ex just ended a 1.5 year relationship by a phone call. He’s 43 years old.. We had a some struggles with insecurity but otherwise had an amazing relationship and had a lot of fun together. He ended it in a very angry way after I stood up to his best friend who was being disrespectful. I’m 11 days into no contact and hoping he calms down and comes around even though he’s telling others it’s over. I’m focusing on me now, but it’s tough! Your videos help me stay strong!
@adamguzman86524 жыл бұрын
Update?
@TheCoffeeCat4 жыл бұрын
So true, Craig. I have an anxious attachment style overall, but sometimes I act avoidant. Maybe the main flavor of insecure attachment is: beware of people, you are going to get hurt by them.
@JC-ct3oi3 жыл бұрын
Thanks craig.. as a return of your helpful videos i won't scape the ads..
@TechieBaby4 жыл бұрын
Wish you could talk more about disorganized attachment. Thanks.
@joeybaboon90134 жыл бұрын
Real talk.. my dad is so stuck in his own ways that he just won't understand me or listen to me sometimes.. I guess people are who they are
@DetroitLionsDynasty2 жыл бұрын
Man this hit so close to home..my ex was an avoidant and I understand now I was anxious…and I have a lot of self blame for how things end. I’m balling my eyes out now
@jacqui83922 жыл бұрын
Me too...I was the avoidant and my ex the anxious 😢 hope you are doing better now.
@nakitanash Жыл бұрын
@@jacqui8392 Thank you for commenting… I always feel like it’s harder for avoidance to comment for both the reason of perhaps feeling guilty for hurting the anxious, and also because it’s just that much harder for an avoidant to open up to this and express themselves and share and be vulnerable. I always want to ask the avoidant people who comment, if I could see into my husbands head, how does he really feel about me??
@aishan27124 жыл бұрын
Hi Craig and Margaret ❤️ your videos are insightful and always knowledgeable. I watch you every day on my lunch break. Keep up the good work you beautiful souls ❤️ ☺️
@LiLgPnoy154 жыл бұрын
I wish I knew these things during my relationship with me ex.
@whiterobin012 жыл бұрын
This is a really good video. I wish you would do more like this one. My FA ex and I have broken up now 5 times in 3 years. It's almost always 2-3 months, and then when he comes back he's very affectionate and until he scares himself sufficiently enough or gets exhausted from the effort and disappears again. I really do love him and I wish I could find a way to make him see what's going on so he could at the very least understand it. Been in NC now for 6 weeks and I don't want to reach out because it was him this time who said goodbye.
@PeteyPablo14 жыл бұрын
I'm just reading attached right now, perfect timing.,
@Electronite19784 жыл бұрын
This was excellent. Like a clip from my life with my ex. She was chasing and I was trying to avoid being trapped. Sad. Only after our breakup 2 months ago I discovered this phenomena. Maybe if I had understood what was causing this behavior we would have been able to fix things and make the relationship work. Bigger question is that how can you change your attachment style. Or how can you make the relationship work even if you know what is happening? Ps. 20 days of NC and probably last for the rest of my life.
@eppeep424 жыл бұрын
Any updates? :( NC Day 37
@tigerlily62982 жыл бұрын
Still?
@Electronite19782 жыл бұрын
My ex called once after 1year and made the so called indirect direct approach. This lead to nothing as she did not try to move things further.and I will not do it either. Kept strong with NC otherwise. Also I do not really trust her being loyal even if we somehow got back together. Otherwise life is good just kept improving myself. Got a better job, been in better shape and some ladies are interested...
@tigerlily62982 жыл бұрын
@@Electronite1978 They do love that one reach out…! Wow you sound positive and strong. Great to hear💕
@dfabe53462 жыл бұрын
@@Electronite1978 could your mistrust of your ex, be because of your avoidance? Just something to think about, hope you're doing well and keeping up with the self improvement
@alondracruz28532 жыл бұрын
Hi Coach Craig! I was wondering if maybe you could do a video on how social media affects relationships, for example: liking pictures of the opposite sex, blocking or not blocking people of the opposite sex who approach you, etc…
@annasmith93734 жыл бұрын
Hey Craig and Margaret! Could you possibly do a video on two avoidance together? Thanks
@lisanapolitan15104 жыл бұрын
I love your videos! I look forward to them daily & have learned a great deal about relationships, as well as myself. I'd love to see a video on stepchildren who want their parent to choose between being a spouse or being a parent. Also, would love to see a video on blended families/2nd marriages.
@job38314 жыл бұрын
You often mention the disorganized attachment. I'd like to hear more about it.
@joeb55784 жыл бұрын
I sort of knew of the differences in relationships but never had a label for it. If I did I might have been able to see what was going on. All my life I've dated and failed and never had a solution to what happened. When it was over, it was over. I couldn't do anything but beg. I've stayed true to no contact since my gf and I broke up. She dumped me so I don't reach out whatsoever. It's been 4 months and still no word from her. I go up and down with my feelings. I'm trying to date other girls. I've talked with several in the past few weeks but no dates yet. Thank you guys for the knowledge and insight you give. :)
@tigerlily62982 жыл бұрын
Any update?
@nathanbass26154 жыл бұрын
Wow. This concept is nuts. My girl and I fought a week ago due to the fact that I wasnt sure she was committed long term ( I needed affirmation). She couldnt get over me asking it. I believe I have anxiety attachment and she avoidant. She was distant from me for three days, then gave me the silent treatment. Untill tonight , when I asked to meet and talk. I recently found out about attachment styles and I felt an epiphany. Like a weight lifted off my shoulder. I wanted to share articles with her to show her hey, we both can improve ourselves or atleast how we fight! She responded by kicking me out of her house and said stop being a therapist. She completely shut me out. But she didnt break up. I really dont feel bad this time because this is our 2nd time together. (1st time she said she loved me then decided she was scared of commitment and left). Did I mess up? Should I stop trying or wait for her to approach me and keep the faith??? Love is crazy. The craziest thing is my anxiety just isn't as bad since finding out about these attachments! Love you coaches btw!
@kurtlockgun64974 жыл бұрын
You should move on. That sounds like a bullshit reason to break up. Be honest with yourself, it’s bs
@SpaceCadet4Jesus4 жыл бұрын
"Love is crazy", Uhh this isn't love, dude. Love looks a whole lot different.
@TheCoffeeCat4 жыл бұрын
I wish I could "thumbs up" this video a million times. 👍👍👍👍👍♥️
@chisomoffor6877 Жыл бұрын
She is reading from the book attached, love that book
@katcuzzi4 жыл бұрын
I think I’m avoidant and my ex is anxious... but after the breakup the roles seemed to switch.
@puneetjain19824 жыл бұрын
Yeah same with me 😅. Now when she is not with me i feel.for attached
@benhinton46133 жыл бұрын
She hurt me so bad and I was very anxious but I don’t think I can allow myself to have feelings again because of how she made me feel
@puneetjain19823 жыл бұрын
@@benhinton4613 give it sometime man u will be fine. We all have been thought the same but it's fine u will find someone way better. Just don't loose ur confidence and self-esteem over a single person. If she hurted u bro then u should thank god else u were with a selfish person who don't even care about someone feelings. So just chill u r awesome and u will fine someone who.is awesome like.u. 😉😁
@benhinton46133 жыл бұрын
puneet jain thank you so much! Yes I already thanked Him for this protection, plus it drew my awareness to depend on Him rather than people who can use and manipulate me. I’m very blessed. I’m Eastern Orthodox, so a breakup is not too difficult for too long with the amount of support my church can give me. God bless ❤️
@puneetjain19823 жыл бұрын
@@benhinton4613 that's great man i beleive u will recover soon. And beleive me use this anxiety as an power it will help u do things u never thought u could do and achieve.
@abramtreadwell7224 жыл бұрын
I just finished this book today. The hard part is getting my girlfriend to understand what's going on and take action to change it.
@estebanterrazas94424 жыл бұрын
I hear you!
@HUGOLIGA4 жыл бұрын
Does No contac would work in this trap in the same way than other's?
@ShadrockMarciano4 жыл бұрын
Dealing with this now, this young lady I was dating is the Avoidant while I'm the Anxious. A lot of points in this video, we went through. I left her a message about Attachment Style & I hope she'll check it out. For now, we're in No Contact. We'll see how it goes!
@ailaklolipop39142 жыл бұрын
Seems like a real anxious thing to do
@meenalaregina77704 жыл бұрын
Hi! This video is educational and helpful. I now understand the concepts. Query: how do we assess someone's attachment style upfront before any major emotional investment? Thanks.
@BruceJC755 ай бұрын
Nailed it!
@psalms1163 Жыл бұрын
Great video bro
@1224polo Жыл бұрын
I concider myself as anxious while i was dating avoidant however i never felt i wasnt good enouth. I was never blaming myself that my avoidant girlfriend didnt want closeness like i do.
@trailerfitter24 жыл бұрын
What happens when two avoidant attachment types get together?
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li3 жыл бұрын
An avoidant hardly ever dates another avoidant 🤷♀️🤣 Their can't be enough friction you see🙄 That's why I say avoidants are pure bastards..They need and want Love more than the anxious one but they keep it hidden to hv an upper hand in the relationship dynamic! Because they always say to the anxious.. I don't want your love..🙄Keep space.. Then why don't these motherfuckers simply date another avoidant🤣🤷♀️there will be ample of space🤣🤷♀️ given and the other avoidant will obviously not give a fuckk ever anyway so they won't hv to say I don't want your love.. 🤷♀️🤣🙄Filthy coward motherfuckers👊🏻🤬🤬🤬
@domcovers87294 жыл бұрын
I feel destroyed. Gf of just over a year with 2 children. She was dismissive avoidant but i feel with narsistic trates. I say this because there was a love bomb fase followed by devalue stage then a cold discard right before a major planned weekend with children. I myself became anxious during the relationship as fealt the distant behaviours creeping in after about 3 months. She regularly refered to her ex husband and acted secretive with her phone. I don't know why but i let these behaviours go. I really shouldn't have. I actually fealt like she didnt even like me that much and just seemed with me towards the end. When i tried to talk things through it was like i was talking to another person. Dismissive of my feelings and avoiding resposibility for her behaviours. I miss the kids so much. Thought we was going to be a family. How wrong i was
@Andromeda_M314 жыл бұрын
I wonder if the anxious partner will lose interest if the avoidant actually turns over a new leaf and wants to work on the relationship?
@DiamondsRexpensive3 жыл бұрын
Andromeda not lose interest, but the trust and respect is already lost when the avoidant pulls the trigger. How can there be love without trust and respect?
@SilentPhilly5 ай бұрын
I would be happy) but I'm a woman, can't say for men
@psalms1163 Жыл бұрын
Dynamic duo
@MorbidSonne4 жыл бұрын
Aw man I'm in this mess right now, but only the beginning stages. I think I need to bring up that we both need to compromise and give each other more of what the other wants before it's too late. Then again, who knows if he will even care since he's avoidant. As an anxious(?) attachment myself I find when anyone gives me all the attention that I've been wanting then I will push him away. Like a limit almost, 'okay we've cuddled for an hour, now go away,' but if he doesn't text or show affection for a few days then I'm a mess. Can you go over disorganized attachment soon, Craig? I'm starting to wonder if that's what I have, or if this is something different.
@Sarablueunicorn4 жыл бұрын
I'm like that too. I'm super anxious but don't enjoy physical intimacy that much like sex and too much cuddle. I prefer old hands or something not so physical.
@brandonlango18184 жыл бұрын
Been NC over 3 months and not together for 5. She was avoidant and left/moved out after 2 years and totally erased me out of her life and disappeared. She even lives in the same complex! Trying hard to work on me but proximity is killing me. Did it after a new lease as well! Save me
@Katya7cruz4 жыл бұрын
Brandon Lango oh man that’s brutal! I would cut my loses financially Hun. Sublease to another renter for the duration of your lease or just move and take the hit of the penalty fee for doing so. Why did she move out but move into another place in the same complex ? Suspicious if you ask me
@brandonlango18184 жыл бұрын
@@Katya7cruz well at the time it was her boss/my friend offering either one of us a room. But now looking back must be them together. Who knows? I try not to know wont do me any good! Ive lost almost 40 pounds and fit again. Going to therapy as well!
@Katya7cruz4 жыл бұрын
Brandon Lango Oh ok. Good for you ! That’s amazing ! 💕 I would get out of there it’s just going to make you crazy what if you see her with a guy who could just be a friend you haven’t met but it will set you back. I wonder if a clean break isn’t best. So you can really evaluate if she is someone you are meant to be with. When you are so close to the situation it’s hard to see it clearly. Believe me I get you. I just got an amazing job offer in the little ski town where my ex lives ( we split 3 weeks ago) and I’m so torn to take it because I feel like it will set me back if I run into him which is likely but the money is so tempting. Ugh Maybe you are stronger then me. And you can live there❤️
@stephenciotti18364 жыл бұрын
Good morning coaches!
@joeybaboon90134 жыл бұрын
My dad is the one who needs the serious counseling..
@janarist73604 жыл бұрын
Hi there! I would really love if you were to make a video answering this question "What it means when your ex tells everyone he is happy single. is he truly happy single without me or..?" my ex left me suddenly without a valid explanation after a 3 year serious relationship. he ended it after our Europe holiday together (with his family). i haven't messaged him from the day he broke up with me (through text) and i am so proud of myself for not messaging him. he also hasn't contacted me either. I hear that he says he is happy single and he isn't doing much besides work and friends. can i mean he is truly over me or just right now he wants to be alone? ( we have been broken up with no contact for 6 weeks today)
@Katya7cruz4 жыл бұрын
Love you guys❤️ ! Can you please do a video on sub types of attachment styles as you touched on in this video please ? If anyone is feeling low “ Ready to Mingle “ is on Netflix is a hilarious example of attachment styles. I identified with the main character 😂 more then I care to admit.
@anthonyaaron43324 жыл бұрын
So does no contact operate differently when it is an anxious dumpee vs fearful avoidant dumper and Vice versa???
@lesleysole64272 жыл бұрын
This is so true ...I am the anxious one he is the addovant one..now he has left me we only just got married ...im scared n devastated...
@joeybaboon90134 жыл бұрын
You 2 are so smart it's unreal ❤
@linfordbond95713 жыл бұрын
Is no contact with an anxious type a good or bad idea?
@Mushroom321-4 жыл бұрын
that was brilliant! 😺👏🥳
@inserter4004 жыл бұрын
My wife is anxious and I got needy with her after she stared pulling away it made her feel so trapped that she ended our relationship I have been told that limited contact doesnt help to reconcile with anxious style We are now separated but I want us back as a family 👪 I miss and love her deeply. We never argued and worked really well together but the last few years we were on different pages as she became distant and I became panicky and needy. What can I do to drew her back to me ? We have two sons and have been together for over 25 years
@user-ud2nz4wo2b Жыл бұрын
Why do avoidants commit to a relationship if they don’t like to be attach?
@RebekahAPinto3 жыл бұрын
Some secure people just looooove pretending to be avoidant. 😤
@kewl800i3 жыл бұрын
So how do you reattract an anxious here if the anxious was the one who left the relationship?
@rumpsteak82773 жыл бұрын
As an anxious myself, if they left and you're the avoidant it's because you werent meeting their needs of closeness and intimacy. If you truly want them back and to be with them, you need to show up and be consistent with meeting their needs. Be honest and open about your fears and explain why you want distance/space from them sometimes and it's nothing personal. Arrange a strategy so when you need that distance you can let them know before you take the space that youre going to do it. My avoidant ex would always take space and time which I knew he wanted and needed but it hurt that he never communicated it to me so I always felt in the wrong. Just let them know its nothing to do with them and you HAVE to be consistent. You can't let them know you need space sometimes and then other times just disappear without telling them. I feel as an anxious, especially myself, we just want to feel INCLUDED in your life and your decisions. We dont want to make them for you, we just want to feel involved. And pushing us away makes us feel excluded and abandoned from your life, especially if theres no reason or explanation. Hopefully this can help, but essentially just show up and be vulnerable about your fears and feelings, anxious love talking about that and will really appreciate it.
@navymed33 жыл бұрын
So then why are we so attracted to the person that's going to cause us so much drama? If you lean anxious, why are you so attracted to the avoidant and blow off all the other secure and anxious people? If I, as a secure or even anxious person, make it a point to get into a relationship with another secure or anxious person, will I ultimately not be as attracted to them as I am to an avoidant?
@abundance80742 жыл бұрын
Because insecure attachment + insecure attachment = sparks and fireworks. Whereby insecure attachment + secure attachment = no sparks, boring.
@navymed32 жыл бұрын
@@abundance8074 truth
@SilentPhilly5 ай бұрын
I have noticed, that there're not so many people with secure attachment. And they aren't so interested and connected with anxious) and avoidant at the beginning can be very interested
@mariam.33234 жыл бұрын
FIRST
@bigfoot63234 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend and his ex dated for 2 years 5 years ago and broke up . I've always been just his friend. He kept waiting for her but she rejected him one last time last year and then he asked me out. We are happy together but it seems he is still in touch with her. He said he doesn't meet up with her but i found out recently he has been having phone sex with her ( throughout the whole time we were dating)because she is living in another state. I don't believe in sex or even kissing before marriage but i'm being the best girlfriend i can be to him. Am i not enough? And why does it seem like he is always ready to help her . She has a lot of problems in her life and i feel like he always wants to save her and be her hero and says he loves her as a friend. But Why the phone sex?Maybe when we marry i can finally satisfy him? I know his for sure his ex has an avoidant attachment style ,while he has a secure attachment style like me and i am confident he will be happier with me than with her so i don't know if i should give up.
@Ekb6200004 жыл бұрын
No kissing or sex before marriage..... I think I know why he gets what he lacks some place else:)
@Katya7cruz4 жыл бұрын
Omg babe no you shouldn’t give up ! You should hit him with your luggage on the way out the door and not give up on yourself ! He is emotionally cheating with an ex! If you want to save yourself for marriage that is your right! Don’t feel bad that he is “forced” to resort to other avenues to meet his sexual needs. What about when you are pregnant or sick and can’t have sex after you marry him then he will need to go find someone who can ? He isn’t over her and you deserve someone who can’t get enough of you ❤️
@Katya7cruz4 жыл бұрын
Mansur Zaman May I ask why? Of course you are entitled to your opinion as am I to mine but I am curious which part of mine you disagree with and why.
@PlatinumDagger4 жыл бұрын
You need to leave him idk what possessed you to pick up after you sister... Eww.... He has issues you can do better. Treat yourself sweetie.
@SpaceCadet4Jesus4 жыл бұрын
Saving sex for marriage is good and proper, but no kissing? Not kissing at all, would be a deal breaker for me.
@user-nj3tx1sm9e4 ай бұрын
Anxious people will suck the life out of anyone. They insist on their partner providing what no human can.