The Attractive Mom Problem On Screen Explained

Рет қаралды 64,983

Күн бұрын

Moms can be many things, but on screen if they’re hot they also often happen to be kind of evil - or, if not outright evil, still pretty bad. From The Graduate's Mrs. Robinson and Mad Men's Betty Draper to The O.C.'s Julie Cooper and Regina's Mom in Mean Girls and beyond, this trope pops up all over film and television. Thankfully this is finally starting to change as more modern shows and films have started tackling this trope head on, but it still hasn’t totally gone away. So let’s take a deeper look at why media was so afraid of hot moms, the problematic sub-trope that often pops up, and the iconic characters like Married with Children's Peggy Bundy and Modern Family's Gloria Delgado-Pritchett that started flipping the script.
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CHAPTERS
00:00 What's up with horrible hot moms?
00:49 Fear of the hot mom
05:17 A problematic sub-trope
07:28 Hot moms that have helped change the trope
CREDITS
Executive Producers: Debra Minoff & Susannah McCullough
Chief Creative Director: Susannah McCullough
Associate Producer: Jessica Babineaux
Writer: Jessica Babineaux
Narrator: Charly Bovina
Video Editor: Daniel Wolff

Пікірлер: 150

@ashleightompkins3200 5 ай бұрын

There's also the monster-in-law who worships their son to a disturbing extent and loathes their future daughter-in-law for taking them away.

@starrsmith3810 5 ай бұрын

Literally the movie by the same way. I despise that trope most of the time. Simply because nine times out of ten the mother gets zero consequences for their mess.

@ennuiblue4295 5 ай бұрын

lots of videos about the 'son-husband' on the (narcissism) channels 😯 it's not uncommon

@ChutneyRomero 5 ай бұрын

That would be a great video!

@oooh19 5 ай бұрын

They call that a toxic boy mom

@tbh224 5 ай бұрын

Ok but that one is firmly based in reality

@Chuuzus 5 ай бұрын

I love how Gloria and Claire from modern family got along eventually and they had the best mom - daughter relationship

@amandaredd3057 5 ай бұрын

Hooking up with their kids' friends takes them from hot to icky. This would be true whether it was a hot mom or a hot dad. The hot is all in how you carry yourself, not whether or not you can still wrangle younger partners or hookups or whatever

@FencingMessiah 2 ай бұрын

According to society at large or personally to you? Being hot is just being attractive. If you are beautiful successful and charming you will be deemed hot no matter what your morality is. Being more of an asshole might even bump it up a bit

@ashiebmast72 5 ай бұрын

"Women don't just blow away when they turn 30" Me-Turning 30 tomorrow.... Was that a concern?!

@jlo803 5 ай бұрын

I'm turning 31, tomorrow too... I can tell you, I survived. We'll be fine xD

@nicolec8884 5 ай бұрын

Blow away?

@muppetallica 5 ай бұрын

@nicolec8884 9:15 "turn to dust and blow away the minute they hit 30..."

@nicolec8884 5 ай бұрын

@@muppetallica OK thanks

@Kushagra.j 5 ай бұрын

@@jlo803 hitting the wall soon

@BatAmerica 5 ай бұрын

It comes down to two factors womanhood and social beauty. Attractive mothers usually are seen as separate due to the uncomfortable taboo of a single parent so by making them attractive it forces the audience to see an attractive woman as separate from a mother. Additionally people are more willing to give attractive people the benefit of the doubt. That's why an ugly character is almost immediately dismissed while an attractive evil person will have a more forgiving fanbase.

@UnboxingAlyss 5 ай бұрын

This. To be on-screen, you have to be attractive, so virtually every mother we see is going to be classified as "hot".

@oooh19 5 ай бұрын

So true lol

@CrimsonNineTail 5 ай бұрын

I haven't seen it, or finished watching the series, in a long time, but I feel Regina, from Once Upon A Time fits the latter of your post.

@Userinterfaceexperience 4 күн бұрын

Even in the movie Jack from the early 90s -- the lady that played Jan in Friends was the single hot mom.... The smothering mom and desperate get any man trope - the "sad story."

@alienated1847 5 ай бұрын

As someone who was raised by a hot mum, my mum is this trope 💀💀. She often puts me in competition with her based on beauty, she comments about how tiny, petite and delicate she is compared to me. She also calls me outright ugly at times, especially when I got my hair cut but then turns around and compliments me whenever SOMEONE ELSE says I look pretty lol. She also neglects me for a lot of other things like my studies and well-being. She even threw away my lanyard for a production I worked in that I was proud for and told her. I commend her for not subscribing to what other people expect a mum to look like, but she was barely a mother to me.

@canesugar911 4 ай бұрын

Where was your father in all of this?

@carloszapata847 4 ай бұрын

This sounds like the tale of Snow White. A lot of the "Evil step mothers" in fairy tales were originally just "Evil mothers".

@alienated1847 4 ай бұрын

@canesugar911 he wasn't able to be around for a lot of times as he's Nigerian and I was born in and live in Singapore. Its notoriously hard for African people to live here. He did know a lot about what happened as I told him, he always chastised her and got into arguments as a result. Their divorced now and he's currently a nationalised Australian citizen, He brings me over there every school break when he can so that I can get brief respite from my mum and ofc spend time with him

@alienated1847 4 ай бұрын

@@carloszapata847 hopefully she doesn't try to poison me lol

@kora4185 4 ай бұрын

She may have npd. It’s something tough to swallow, but at the same time could be healing, because then they can’t really help it having a disorder..

@UnboxingAlyss 5 ай бұрын

I'm pretty sure the media loves hot moms. To be on-screen, you basically need to be hot, so virtually every TV mom is hot. Men can look like whatever, but the woman HAS to be hot.

@paulinegallagher7821 5 ай бұрын

Thats not really true. The mom on Freaks and Geeks was reassuringly motherly looking. Frankie in The Middle, Lois in Malcom in the Middle, Ruth in Six Feet Under, Caitlyn Stark, (well she was pretty enough, but still very matriarchal looking).

@AstraeaAntiope 5 ай бұрын

Attractive moms, but not sexy ones.

@FencingMessiah 2 ай бұрын

The men can't look like whatever. There is a beauty standard for men in Hollywood as well it's just a lil looser and has really only been in the past. Like 80s movies nerds looked like they were picked on but nerds of 2010s are just as handsome as the jocks. See amazing spiderman

@mesovogue 5 ай бұрын

Ah, Betty Draper, she was a beautifully written character.

@oooh19 5 ай бұрын

Yea but she was a horrible mom much of the time but idk how that has to do with her appearance. Even if she was average looking she could be a terrible mom

@myheartiswriting 5 ай бұрын

@@oooh19 Someone could argue that Betty Draper was a bad mom partially because of her looks. When people only see pretty it can be damaging to someone's psyche when they know that according to others, their job is to be pretty and perfect. Betty's mother obsessed over Betty's looks, pushing her into pageants and modelling. Don only married her because she fit the image of the perfect wife. No one took her seriously, I think the show even made a point where Betty was only complimented on how she appeared or anything she did appeared. Gorgeous, elegant, sophisticated, delicious, her, her home, her food, everything. She had to wear a costume both in public and at home. She was chastised for making Don look bad. Betty wasn't a person; she was an idea. In some twisted way, her children were her outlet, where she could be angry, sad, or frustrated. Because child-abuse wasn't considered a thing, she was able to show that she was human without it disrupting her precious image. It's called masking, if I remember. When someone is able to pretend to function at a certain level but it physically and emotionally drains them to the point where they let out everything that they're holding in within the privacy of family. I don't think Betty really considered Don family, just another person expecting her to perform. If she was average, or even unattractive, she probably wouldn't have these pressures and expectations to be perfect. Granted, I'm sure if she wasn't attractive, there would have been different pressures that she would have had to endure, because no matter how women looked, they were expected to be pleasing.

@francescaeve8776 5 ай бұрын

@@myheartiswriting Betty is one of my favourite characters ever. She's cold, mean and petty but there's an explanation for her behaviour. Her mum only cared about looks, Don only married her because she was a model and a compliant wife. Even after she married Francis he doesn't care about her ideas, wanting to keep her opinions about Vietnam to herself at dinner parties. It's sad that her story ended after finally deciding to do something for herself.

@sammyvictors2603 5 ай бұрын

My older sister refuses to fade into the background and "dress/act/look her age" (my mother's words, she's super old-fashioned and priggish, with a bit of a mean streak and a slight cynical attitude about modern times). And I have nothing but mad respect for my sisters (all four of them).

@oooh19 5 ай бұрын

Yea why not still look great at any age? Why dress frumpy and like elderly at 35?!

@anabltc 5 ай бұрын

mama jelly af 😆

@sammyvictors2603 5 ай бұрын

@@anabltc idk, maybe. But she is a hyper religious zealot. And at the end of the day, we all love her. She just grew up in a different time and in another country that was in political and cultural problems (she was also a war orphan who grew up in poverty, worked herself to the bone to eat, was hit by the teacher for being left-handed, had a lot of financial struggles, was falsely accused of being a communist in her country. It doesn't excuse her but it explains a lot).

@anabltc 5 ай бұрын

@@sammyvictors2603 you know what, I'm sorry. It was just off-the-cuff, trope-y comment from me. Tbh honest I still think the same (probably cuz I'm projecting) but of course there's a thousand layers to everyone. Esp with that life story. I hope she relaxes. She survived all that sht and got to raise loving kids after all 😀

@hodonyassin9760 5 ай бұрын

Who says you have to throw your whole life away just to be a mother? Everyone can have fun at any age!

@Pistolita221 5 ай бұрын

Regardless of gender, being a good parent requires some sacrifice. Hedonism is fine as long as you don't have the next generations life resting on your shoulders, but if you do than some sacrifice will be required.

@LeahWalentosky 5 ай бұрын

There is also the stepmom/stepson romances that is also romanticized grooming

@SlapstickGenius23 3 ай бұрын

What a pet peeve of mine too! I’m also disgusted by stepfather stepdaughter romances, as they’re also bad for the younger ones too.

@anthonyvasquezactor 5 ай бұрын

One of the most horrible hot moms on TV in recent years was the character Amy (played by Eliza Coupe) on the short-lived "Pivoting". Amy never grew up beyond being the popular girl in high school and clings to that as she reaches middle age, looking down on unpopular people (including her friend and her own son).

@PatriciaDeAnna 5 ай бұрын

You guys didn’t mention Claire Huxtable(Phylicia Rashad)! She was exquisite and unbelievably talented and kindhearted and firm.

@markmaurer6370 5 ай бұрын

That's why they left her out. She broke the trope. She was a perfect Mom. Very beautiful, exquisite, but she wasn't Cliff's trophy, they were partners as parents and independent as professionals. She needed to be the straight man to Cliff clowning around.

@messinalyle4030 5 ай бұрын

I know they're just talking about fictional media, but in real life, competing with your child in the arena of romantic love and sex, especially your minor child, is not only highly inappropriate, but also far from being necessary for a mother to "live her own life" apart from motherhood. It's the patriarchy, rather than common sense, that tells older mothers to "fade into the background" as their daughters hit their mid-teens. And it's the patriarchy that presents mothers competing with their daughters as being the only alternative to mothers fading away. Because that's how the patriarchy demonizes older women.

@jillian7055 4 ай бұрын

Yessss so well said!

@sadie9728 5 ай бұрын

Still waiting to see the weird, introverted, nerdy gamer-mom represented in media 🤔

@carloszapata847 4 ай бұрын

Is she also the mother of the weird, introverted and nerdy gamer kid?

@sadie9728 4 ай бұрын

@@carloszapata847 in a movie her kid would be the extroverted sporto jock so there can be tension or conflict, obviously.

@nicolec8884 5 ай бұрын

I remember being called a milf and it made me cringe hard lol.

@zero1188 5 ай бұрын

Attractive mothers are viewed as innocent, so their abuse is ignored

@oooh19 5 ай бұрын

Case in point betty Draper but I gotta say I love Betty’s style most of the mad men cast!

@Aaron-kj8dv 5 ай бұрын

Attractive women*

@tika2glamorous 5 ай бұрын

Poor Stiffler 😂😂😂😂😂😂 American Pie is still one of my favorite movies

@gp6738 5 ай бұрын

Joy from ‘My name is earl’ is also a great example of this!

@carloszapata847 4 ай бұрын

Gendo Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion is kind of a male example of this trope. In the manga adaptation he even says that part of the reason he resents his son Shinji Ikari is because after he was born, Yui (Shinji's mother and Gendo's wife) began to pay Shinji more attention than him (Gendo).

@bookgirl2 5 ай бұрын

Or the hot mom can just go live her own life after the daughter is raised. She doesn't have to try to insinuate into the life the daughter is building.

@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 5 ай бұрын

This is why I appreciated Katey Sagal and Poorna Jagarathan for contributing to the aesthetics of their characters and to the sass that embodied their characters and their daughters. I think Joan Holloway is a good example and Peggy Olson who gets her glow up after giving birth.

@rtothec1234 5 ай бұрын

The mom from Modern Family was hot but not evil.

@kianaln 5 ай бұрын

just have to finally comment to say how much I love this channel’s content. Right up my alley

@infinite10045 5 ай бұрын

Maybe the storytelling can be kind of misogynist, because I think the make up and leopard print is supposed to indicate bad character, but there are mothers who really behave like this and they do harm their kids. My own mom was not conventionally attractive but in her actions, she neglected the way I looked while dressing like a tween herself. To kind of rub salt in the wound. There were a lot of other selfish and callous behaviors, recurrently. This channel consistently excuses poor character in favor of letting "all women" live the lives they choose. But instead of giving women more complexity, it just makes them out to be cardboard feminists no matter how fucked up they are as people. To excuse a mistake is one thing, and to excuse mean girl behavior or even abuse is another. This trope has hints of maternal abusive behavior (so much feminist rhetoric can hinge on the subtlety or undertones of things).

@eduardopantoja9115 5 ай бұрын

Thats kinda why I'm going to stop watching the channel. They do everything in their power to make every woman a feminist icon. Even if they do horrible and nasty things.

@PassiveAgressive319 5 ай бұрын

I loved Julie in the O.C. She had a great character arch

@ElianaRosalind 5 ай бұрын

to whoever narrated the voiceover for this - the change in tonality & inflections to accent different parts of the video aka the 'im so tired of this bs constantly thrown towards women' bits - ty, ily & same

@nellywilliams2776 5 ай бұрын

To me, Claire Huxtable is the perfect balance of Mom. She smart, educated, has an awesome job and still beautiful and hot while tackling the traditional motherhood and wife role ❤😊

@ChutneyRomero 5 ай бұрын

This evil hotness drives me crazy. Grateful to the Barbie movie.

@TIVOSTUDIOS 5 ай бұрын

my mother ( once busy model ) was exactly the stereotypical hot mom, she dated a boy from her older sister's group of friends ( because my mother was always in competition with my sister, something that my sister also hated for a good reason ) things got on a point that my sister didn't use any outfit that would show her amazing figure and let my mom be the one with breast silicone cleavage, mini skirts, because the moment my sister showed her figure even a little bit my mom would come up with any lame excuse that throws her rage into my sister, unfortunately, my mother that was incredibly beautiful in her youth now is in her 60s and completely deform with far too many plastic surgeries, and she is barely is speaking terms with my older sister ( i moved to England because I got tired of being an unpaid therapist for my mother, I followed her footsteps and became a male model, but now that im 47 I not even try botox because of how afraid I was to end up like my mother, is almost like Mummy dearest was written about my own mother

@paulinegallagher7821 5 ай бұрын

The American Pie films are disgusting. Im not a prude, I watched GOT when it was good, but the whole idea of filming exchange students without their knowledge, Stiflers mom wanting an 18 year old because 'thats just the way i like it', is so disturbing. If it was a man, it would be rightly denounced as pathetic and creepy. When its a woman, shes cheered for it, and its just assumed the 18 year old will never be actually messed up later on because of it, he'll be high fiving his friends.

@harsh3948 5 ай бұрын

Because it’s true lmao, no 18 yr old guy ever regrets banging a hot older woman. I myself bedded a woman twice my age in my early years and nothing happened 🤷‍♂️

@fernandaa7334 5 ай бұрын

Is all fun and games till you mother start to compete with you soon as you have your first period and treats you like you wanted to replace her in everything, especially in the male attention.

@Clarke.Beatriz.Griffin 5 ай бұрын

Excelent job as always 🎉

@PokhrajRoy. 5 ай бұрын

5:38 An interesting example of this is Sarafine in ‘Beautiful Creatures’ who talks about power and claiming the dark side but does it only to further her own interests.

@EMuro-wu7uy 5 ай бұрын

Views on womanhood in general needs to be rethought. Some people judge me for not having kids of my own. I helped raise other people's children, and was told that's not a real job. That I don't know about children because I don't have them. Which is all rubbish. I had to be a caregiver for my family for years, they passed away, and I face life alone again.

@Missmagazinebura 5 ай бұрын

Where does Lily van der Woodsen go ? Is she a horrible mother ?

@averygriffith4199 5 ай бұрын

I AM SO HERE FOR THE OC CONTENT

@mbanerjee5889 5 ай бұрын

My favorite hot mom is Claudia Finnerty from Grounded for Life. She is a good mother but isn't obsessed about her looks. Also, Fran from The Nanny.

@Twinkdoesdrag 5 ай бұрын

Why did they remove Bree Van de Kamp (Desperate Housewives) from the thumbnail?

@AstraeaAntiope 5 ай бұрын

Not me looking for Lorelai Gilmore after I read the title...

@evaldasmatulaitis2953 2 ай бұрын

What is the name of movie or tv show that had the line at 4:40?🤔

@leoninehuman 5 ай бұрын

would love to see a video analysis about Six Feet Under

@Missmagazinebura 5 ай бұрын

Do horrible dads

@j.albuquerque9274 5 ай бұрын

I have a theory and I'm very curious about women's opinions: All a woman needs to be considered perfect is to be a great mom and at the same time be very attractive. That's all, any flaw is forgiven if she has these two. What do y'all think?

@Kushagra.j 5 ай бұрын

💯 just wait some cringy feminazis will be here to lecture you

@Lillith192 5 ай бұрын

Your premise is both flawed and an oversimplification. The goalpost to being a "perfect woman” shifts as rapidly as wind, and without warning. People will shit on women for being a single mom and depriving the dad of the child when she's protecting the kid from abuse, and they'll shit on mom for staying with the dad to maintain appearances and lacking self respect. They'll shit on women for not being married by a certain age, for not having kids by a certain age, for looking unkempt if she isn't wearing a slight hint of makeup, for being too vain for wearing makeup and regular appointments to the salon, for being a gold digger when she wants to be a stay at home wife with no income, for being away from home and the kids when she's working.

@marietailor3100 5 ай бұрын

@@Lillith192And so, to your point, the OP is ironically correct. Those two things (with the addition of being the perfect wife) are all one needs to be considered perfect. The problem is that meeting those expectations is entirely impossible. Well… that and you shouldn’t have to be “attractive” or a mom in order to be a valid and complete human being.

@robchuk4136 5 ай бұрын

Error: You have Gaby, the youngest of the Desperate Housewives, who was not middle aged chasing her youth, and notably, NOT a mom when she was seducing her gardener. One of the reasons this makes a difference- and as the Gloria from Modern Family counterpoint indicates- is that we see this presented mostly a *white woman* trope.

@BloodyMary74 5 ай бұрын

In Northern Exposure Shelly tells her mom, who had her only at the age of seveneteen that she is glad she isn't responsible because then Shelly wouldn't even be born

@osmanyousif7849 3 ай бұрын

Bill and Ted: "It's your mom, dude." "Shut up, Ted."

@fortune_roses 5 ай бұрын

What about in France? The culture around "aging women" is a bit different

@garyhall5397 5 ай бұрын

Wait.....what? Evil hot mom wasn't a thing in 60/70/80 (please point one out). It didnt start showing its head till 90. How can you talk about hot mom shows from 90/2000/2010 then go back to the 80's, and say they were fighting against????? You cant fight something that didn't existing.

@sannh 5 ай бұрын

That is very terrible to say that if a parent abuses their child because they grew up poor, then it is something that can be forgiven by the victim.

@dolvana 5 ай бұрын

Nice!

@kennek1976 5 ай бұрын

Peg Bundy...good choice thumbs up

@gnamaryarisirem 4 ай бұрын

Lowkey Julie had the best character arc

@timmydonohue5295 5 ай бұрын

That’s is monstrous

@alineaikoyoshidagalvao1450 5 ай бұрын

Julie Cooper ❤

@saimaharaj109 5 ай бұрын

For anyone who watched this video: What are thoughts on this thing in horror movies where the mother forces her son to dress up like a girl? This leads to the boy growing up to kill women as a way to "reclaim his masculinity". We saw this in Slayaway Camp and Insidious 2. Why are there crazy mothers who want daughters?

@mitcharendt2253 5 ай бұрын

I'm pretty sure it's about transphobia, and trying to blame women for it.

@UnboxingAlyss 5 ай бұрын

Do you mean "Sleepaway Camp?" Those are fucked up, but extremely rare.

@carloszapata847 4 ай бұрын

@@UnboxingAlyss Speaking of Sleepaway Camp. What so you think about the relationship between the cousins? Also, Over the years, a few people have theorised that Ricky was involved in the killings done by Angela (some of of the deaths were filmed with Jonathan Tiersten, who plays Ricky, playing Angela).

@UnboxingAlyss 4 ай бұрын

@@carloszapata847 Regarding what, specifically? I think she did they on her own, but I guess it's a possibility.

@seebothways9630 5 ай бұрын

Wizard of Oz On witches was opposite on hotness and very old

@CorruptedFoxArt 3 ай бұрын

Did you actually watch Married with Children?

@CinemaRoles 5 ай бұрын

Tasha. Mack.

@chessieray1465 5 ай бұрын

I love how Gloria has become a double whammy with being attractive and the second wife. Though I low-key have a soft spot for Bree since I can see myself in her a bit.

@gereti4807 5 ай бұрын

loreli gilmore❤🎉

@politicalactivism975 5 ай бұрын

930 Women turning 30 turn to dust? what?

@Victorcolongarcia 5 ай бұрын

I wish I could be a hot mum myself

@kathurtado13 4 ай бұрын

Sorry but if you're a mom, the kids come 1st.

@dazohnsmind6146 5 ай бұрын

Ooowee im first

@dazohnsmind6146 5 ай бұрын

Where da milfs at 🤔

@nicolec8884 5 ай бұрын

🍪

@dazohnsmind6146 5 ай бұрын

@@nicolec8884 🫴🏾

@Kakki82 5 ай бұрын

Who's the hot mom at 2:40 on the bed? 😍🙏

@Itcouldbebunnies 5 ай бұрын

I think that's Polly Walker. You know, Octavius' hot mom on 'Rome'.

@Kakki82 5 ай бұрын

@@Itcouldbebunnies Damn I gotta check her out.

@kadesmith3054 5 ай бұрын

I like to see a version of this with father and son, because I think older men have a harder time than women realizing that it’s time for them to move on.

@carloszapata847 4 ай бұрын

Fire Lord Ozai, the father of Zuko and Azula, from Avatar: The Last Air Bender, has some elements of this. It is said on the website, not fully Canon but still something, that part of the reason why Ozai disfigured Zuko was that he was afraid the young Prince would become more hansome that he was.

@agnessofiacastrocarvalho774 4 ай бұрын

With fathers it's not about atractiveness as that not seen as the most important thing for men, but about phisical estrength and status. The washed-up has-been father who blames his son for his failed career at sports or music is strangely common

@kayleighdriessen 5 ай бұрын

The Halo Effect, Pretty Privilege and obsession with romance/sex has allowed more people to get away with some of worst crimes in humanity than most of us could probably imagine

@doingmythinghere9722 5 ай бұрын

First again 😂😊

@BikeStuffPDX 5 ай бұрын

Lwaxana Troi was the worst aspect of Star Trek TNG and the one that's now the most dated.

@seebothways9630 5 ай бұрын

Why is selfish for a dad put himself as The most important thing

@seebothways9630 5 ай бұрын

The Barbie speech blames patriarchy for stuff Feminist fought for and apparently find to stressful. .

@TheProdigy_916 5 ай бұрын

Lmao this channel is so woke and predictable you really don't need to watch the videos. I used to love this channel too but over the last few years you can guess what is going to be said in each vid before watching. They probably loved The Marvels and She-Hulk lol

@paulinegallagher7821 5 ай бұрын

I think that too, the Take has changed the narrator, and its gone sociopolitical. I love the old videos on all the Mad Men characters; just 5 years ago this channel had a great, albeit obvious take on everything. Then it contradicts early videos and puts the word toxic in everything.