Y'all missed Presbyterians--the "Frozen Chosen" lol

No Jehovahs Wittness jokes? Proud of you guys for not picking the low hanging fruit when it came to joke writing 😜

I would add Charismatic. But they are all independent nondenominational churches. There is no Charismatic denominations. Except maybe Vineyard. Aka Charismatic Calvery Church. Also Reformed aka modern Calvinist , that is a major one. They have some really small denominations but mostly they are nondenominational indies also.

Mormons smh

assemblies of god

It was predetermined that I would see what you did there. 😏

It was pre-ordained, but individually the people of babylon bee, of their own free will, chose to exclude Presbyterianism as well.

HAH!

God made me do it 😥

No it wasn't, because It was predestined that you would bring them up! It's not a denomination btw

That's hilarious 😂

Ha! I knew the Bee was lying. Thank you, sir, for speaking the truth.

Not Luther Vandross? Darn ...

Lutheranism should be imposed by law (in Latin, "lex").

Yeah.. Babylon Bee was way off on that one 🤣 Lex Luthor for the win

That is what I have always said about the non-denominational churches.

As someone who goes to a non denom church….yeah

Yeah, that comment was spot on! Hilarious

Just goes to show 99% of the claims made by the mainstream media about Christians is bullshit propaganda.

Ummm I mean the world is falling apart and the once hip bee sounds like a far left toilet now. This is like their 4th punch in the face toward various forms of Christianity in recent months.

@@geoffwaters8786 The Bee constantly makes fun of leftist politicians, the MSM, and woke clown world insanity. They aren't going "far left" because they made fun of you four times in a handful of months. Chill.

@@CapnCoconuts jury is out, this is what the left does. They cozy up t the right then suddenly attack the right relentlessly. I hope it’s not the case I don’t mind jokes about anyone but when it becomes consistent one has to wonder what the plan is

@@82pythons85 just like 99% of the outside claims about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, are propaganda claims that use half truths and outright fabrications to scare away investigators. Don't forget the golden rule.

I forget what the saying was but it's something like, "if you spend too much time thinking, you STOP thinking as a result"

Why is this not top comment this is gold.

Rofl 🤣

The Pentecostals decided "Now's as good a time as any to throw a party!"

Another Old Joke... Why don't Baptist have sex standing up? Don't want to look like their dancing. 🙄

Same

The fire of the Holy Spirit has gone out in most Pentecostal churches and even the smoke has dissipated. They comfort themselves with bands, light shows and pizza. That said, let the fire of the Holy Spirit fall on us!

@@Truthhound1 but He. seems to never have even entered other church’s. There are plenty of true Pentecostal churches with God fire in it even today and it’s growing

So then where'd he get the idea that we just randomly have our own personal revelations as substitutes for Scripture?

@@DylanGollerShow it seems to be a generalization that pentecostals have personal revelations that reshape the bible. It's true, there is a focus on personal revelations and understandings of the bible, but generally it's in harmony with what's already there - a deeper understanding - not just making up conflicting things.

Welcome back home!

I’m glad you made it back to the one church.

You must have been Anglican, with all your churches moving back-and-forth, whenever a Catholic or a Protestant King/Queen gets elected, instead of some stable Oliver Cromwell, or his son?

Wow! I have loved exploring more about Catholic and Orthodox churches. There is a lot of things I appreciate them for that is not in protestantism. For me as long as a church is truly following Christ and the bible, I think it's nice to experience many to have more understanding of our history of belief. My wife refuses to do either Catholic or Orthodox though it seems as her family came out of Catholic and she sees things very black and white. Just because I feel divine presence in a Catholic or Orthodox church doesn't mean that I have anything against the baptist churches I came from.

Wow man, that's what I call a roundabout! Welcome back home!

Hilarious

Hey, this is about christian denominations! Although I would be curious if they did one on religions.

oh yes Christian Scientists, people who are that guy on the roof of his flooded house rejecting the truck, the boat, the helicopter and the gab

Connecticut must be the epicenter of the branch covidians, masks everywhere and advertisements for jab all over the place.

Hail Fauci, father of fraud.

lol

Baptist or Morman would bring casserole... Mormon specifically would be funeral potatoes.

@@danryan4001 You're welcome! My uncle loved to make people laugh!

@@nancymeggelin5859 Wouldn't the Mormons have jello?

@@andrewtantzen559 green of course

I can vouch for that. I was born Presbyterian (PCA as it turns out) to a Penticostal mother. I've seen it all. I could write a book and manty would think it fiction.

​@@tampanativesonDo tell

Amen especially youth services.

My dad stuck to the Mormon church through his teen years and raised all his kids, including me, in it, and even then he's the first to come out swinging with some of the most offensive jokes you could think of. One of his tamer ones is "Why did Mormons stop practicing polygamy? You would too if you had more than one mother-in-law."

@Frugal Family Living Does anyone attend who doesn't think they got the lucky ticket with the in "we made it" crowd?

That's when the Scots rebelled against episcopalian rule, with bishops and appointed ministers, and decided to elect their own ministers. Presbyterians are seen as harsh, fire and brimstone preachers. Maybe you've heard of the reverend Ian Paisley from Northern Ireland. Addressing a crowd at a rally, he finished a passage with " . . and there will be wailing, and gnashing of teeth!" "What if you haven't GOT any teeth!" shouted a voice from the crowd. "TEETH!" he replied "SHALL BE PROVIDED!" That's presbyterianism in a nutshell.

@@JoesWebPresence He blew it. Should have said, "Then there'll be the gnashing of gums!"

Lutherans...dead on!

On a more serious note...Presbyterianism historically originated as the Scottish version of Reformed churches. As a system of government, both Presbyterian and Reformed churches follow "Presbyterian polity." But one key emphasis of historical Presbyterianism is the concept of divine right - specifically the divine right of church government (and not kings). A foundational principle is the "Regulative Principle" for doctrine, worship, and church practice. You could describe it as a "happy medium" between Prelacy (think Roman Catholic / Anglican hierarchical churches) and Independency (think Baptists or Congregationalists - the equivalent of democracy in churches). Not really a scale, but a helpful initial analogy. There's actually a very good book called "Therefore the Truth I Speak" by Macleod which goes through the history of early (and some more recent) Presbyterianism.

Patrick, our resident Catholic concurs.

@@TheBabylonBee What's your bingo game strategy to win?

@@fredkilner2299 The same as it's been for 2000 years.

Or breakfast for dinner-- pancake night!

Yes!

I never understood how the Nazarene church is so opposed to drinking alcohol when Christ Himself made MORE wine at the wedding. He could have made ANYTHING, including things they never had before like ice cream.

Jesus wasn't a Nazarene. Nazarene means you're following in the footsteps of John the Baptist and Samson. So drinking alcohol, cutting your hair etc. are violations of the standards of Holiness you've opted to follow. But I don't know why there's a Nazarene Church. As I understand it, being a Nazarene was in a similar category as being a prophet in the OT. Something you only do if God explicitly calls you to it. They were filled with the Holy Spirit from a very young age etc (in the womb in John the Baptists case). So I'd venture to say most members of the Nazarene church aren't called by God.

Actually the true translation of that story in the Gospels is, "Jesus changed the water into Welch's Grape Juice."

@@harryirish Haha... I am Christian, and I believe the Bible is very clear that drinking to EXCESS (being a drunkard) is the sin, not merely drinking alcohol. When Christ, Himself, makes it at a wedding, that's a pretty good indicator. Plus, King Solomon talks about being a drunkard in Proverbs, making a pretty good argument for enjoying things in moderation.

@@Susurro The "Apostolic Pentecostals" do the same in my area. They wear long sleeves, no shorts, pants on men, full skirts on women, no makeup, no swim suits, women cant cut their hair. They also can't be friends in public with anyone out side their church unless they are trying to lure them in. They have 3 months to do so then they can't be seen with you anymore mega especially if you are a Catholic. Not a cult at all though.

Jesus said, "I have other sheep, that aren't of this fold. I will talk to them, there will be one flock then, one shepherd." So, is your non-denominational denomination part of this fold or are you an other sheep that He is talking to? (John 10:16)

He meant bapti-costal

ha ha! Me too!

The secret is out now! Sorry

same

Best one yet!

LOL

Hilarious!

🤣🤣 that made me LMAO! Thank you!

Lolololol very funny! The Baptists sure are stubborn and are very specific indeed. Lol

I had an exchange semester in Finland and I attended a Lutheran church during that time. It was pretty small and mostly foreigners. But I had a nice time there. In the beginning I thought they were Catholics because they said one of the Christian creeds and there the word catholic was used. Only after I asked did I find out that this was not the denomination Catholic but it was meant as universal as in all Christians.

A Finnish Lutheran church in the United States? Ooo, enough Finnish people migrated from Finland to the US and in one area to fill a church? Amazing! Actually, I'm just surprised some people from Northern Europe are still Christian! Lol

Same here!

Same.

ditto

Repent

@@marshalvladimir8859 I do, daily. We all should.

Be Catholic instead

Thank you for being there

Made me actually laugh out loud

@@AngelBien Tried that first, lol.

Then you'd both have to become Pentecostals. As we all know, anything less than 10% likely to occur is a miracle when it does. Just kidding, I've seen miracles. It just annoys me when people say that something is a miracle when it is clearly not.

Another Catholic. I second @TheKyPerson. 👍😁😜🙏

Protestant here that has catholic friends I can relate to the L.G.B. Comment

This is probably because the WASPs conscripted you the moment you arrived.

Ooh that's crazy on the history going to have to look em up that's neat to know

As a Byzantine Catholic, I don’t identify with either the Latin or guilt tropes😂

Quite a shift in doctrine. I’m curious to know what inspired that

@@louisgazor9422 Long and short of the story is basically that I came to believe the Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) understanding of the Law (Torah), the Ten Commandments, the Sabbath, and their relation to the ancient Old Testament and New Testament understanding of those things was incorrect. Basically, the SDA understanding sees a bifurcation between the Ten Commandments and the rest of the Torah with the Sabbath commandment in particular having a special significance, while the Old Testament and the New Testament sees no bifurcation between the Ten Commandments and the rest of the Torah, simply referring to it as a whole, i.e. "the Law", in the Old Testament and "the Law and the Prophets" in the New Testament with a special significance being placed on circumcision rather than the Sabbath as such. The reason why circumcision was the pivotal point of contention in Acts 15 was because it was what made a man an Israelite, along with the observance of the Passover. When one became an Israelite they were then bound by the covenant God made with Israel, and that covenant involved the observance of the commandments of the Torah, which included the Ten Commandments of course, but everything else as well. I found that when I acquired this understanding that the writings of St. Paul in his epistles like Galatians read very differently from how I had read them before from the traditional SDA perspective. With this issue, along with having an issue with how the Holy Trinity is understood in Adventism, I soon left the denomination since I couldn't remain there knowing what I knew, and I began to read the ancient Jewish and Christian writings. I found that they too had this same understanding of the Torah and the Ten Commandments, that it was treated as a whole and not bifuracted like it was in Adventism. I also learned that the early Christian Church believed and practiced many other things that were not "Adventist" in nature like worshipping liturgically, celebrating the Holy Eucharist, conducting paedobaptism, having a strong sense of hierarchy with Bishops, Presbyters/Priests, and Deacons, catholicity, a Creed, the Holy Trinity, etc. I searched for a Church today that still lives, believes, and practices the same faith I was reading about in these earliest of sources and it came down ultimately between Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy. In the end, I went Orthodox believing it was a more accurate representation of what I was reading about regarding the early Church of the first millennium.

@@justanotherlikeyou I understand your change in mind, and I respect it! However, I do consider myself to be somewhat aligned with SDA doctrine, coming from an Orthodox background. The position of the Protestants only made more sense to me than much of the tradition and hierarchy that exists in the Roman Catholic and Orthodox churches. But I do believe that no creed, doctrine, or position can separate us from the love of God, so that is why I feel connection when I hear other’s perspectives on theology. Blessings to you!

I’m guessing, you have no problem with eight out of ten of the Commandments? Bowing down to graven images and keeping the Sabbath are gone, but adultery, murder, lying, etc., are still sin? In Matthew, Jesus is referring to the Ten Commandments, not the entire Old Testament. He magnified the Law. He did not do away with it. Matthew 5:17-22 “Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. 18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. 19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach [them], the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. 21 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” John defines sin as the transgression of that Law. 1 John 3:4 “Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.”

They do not believe in Grace. They are Anabaptists. Like your description of Amish and Mennonite

Haha I used to work for a Mennonite guy. I learned so much about their belief system and the differences between them and Amish. It was really enlightening. He would have loved this video

Hilarious! 🤣😂🤣

The Mennonites can see it…

Hutterites: amish with every piece of farming tech known to man

We are not basically Catholics, but we do have cooler beards.

Catholics are basically Orthodox, but without the cool beards and an extra +5 bonus in idolatry.

please update us if this whole post-prog-ska thing is real or becomes real cause you have my support 100 percent.

Catholics: "You're a schismatic." Orthodox: "No, you are!" [both watch this video] "They...they don't even have relics, or icons? Perhaps we are more alike than previously thought."

@@thompsonspence8895 My thoughts as well, Orthodoxy is largely unknown by American protestants so they really don't have insights into the pretty wide theological differences between Orthodoxy and Catholicism and had western Europe been under orthodoxy, the reformation would have never occurred.

Biblical Christianity is the truth. I love y'all, but we need to be rooted in the Bible.

We are, we use the Bible just as much as our other scriptures. Also remember, Christ came not to establish a Bible, but his church. We are just as much of the body of Christ as any other denomination.

We are Christian though... We belive in Christ

@@AirsickLowlander777 unitarians would say something similar. Satanists might, also.

@@mowgli2071 Let me clarify. My church is entirely centered around Christ. Not Satan. Our views are very similar to most Chirstian churches. Only someone who knows nothing about my religion would say something so incorrect

"Sola Scriptura"

The Bible being the final authority on all matters is quite literally what every Protestant believes. That isn't exclusive to "Independent" Baptists.

@@JeP-lz4ti Take a poll in any main stream church in America and the majority of the responses will be that you can't believe everything in the Bible. Start a discussion on the accuracy of the Bible and within minutes someone will say, " I don't really think Jesus meant it when he said...fill in the blanks of the particular sin the speaker is quite fond of."

@@jackfanning7952 That just simply isn't even true.

@@JeP-lz4ti True, unfortunately.

Agreed

Catholic here. We only gave ground on the beards so we could develop some hardcore mustache and sideburn technology. That's how we got Austria-Hungary and Mexico.

Great Beards!

This video explains the lack of success the Eastern Orthodox Church has had in East Asia: We yellow people don't have enough facial hair.

@@CindyRoy57 Ever heard of The Boxer Rebellion?

Hence the "undercover" part... and yeah, I knew some of you guys growing up. If I can't make it to an Pentecostal rave, I could hang out with you guys.

Their description of Baptists is also pretty spot on.

Lol seriously! I’m an Evangelical Assyrian Orthodox. Evangelical is just an adverb or pronoun. You can be Evangelical in a non Evangelical church, or non Evangelical in an Evangelical church, depends on if your church has Evangelical beliefs or not, Most Orthodox is very Evangelical in America, and especially my Assyrian church here in Florida. Evangelical I think is misunderstood. But going to an Evangelical non denominational is actually a good idea, I go to one on Thursdays but Orthodox on Sundays. I get great value out both.

Yeah but our rock bands suck…more boring than a bad bar band

The Baptist church I go doesn’t ban any of the stuff they said. Might be an American Baptist thing?

Stay strong out there, the lake smells!!

@@clarkstrange2142 don't worry, it will probably be gone within the next few years at the rate it's drying up, and then you can smell the arsenic instead! /s - a Utah County resident

@@christopherrogers303 lol, I visited SLC last year, once you get used to the smell it’s rather a nice place

Hmmm ... The smell is the same as sulfur, wonder what that could possibly represent?

What was her name?

Yep! Catholics do love their celebrations aka feasts days!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well done Mr. Gleason!

😂😂😂😂🤯

So nailed Presbyterian/Reformed churches.....

I suspect you have sense of humour, so you can't really be a Presbyterian 😉

Haha I love this.

That's because you keep showing up at the dodgeball stadium a day early ;-)

I didn't even notice! Sorry!

@@michaeldeloatch7461 That, or six days too late.

I love SDA!

so true - nearly every evangelical non-denominational church I've looked into was started as an offshoot of a Baptist church by members who weren't happy with something or someone associated with the southern baptist convention.

In my opinion the denomination is not that important. As long as they read the Bible, worship Jesus and you don't feel uncomfortable there. Of course you should be challenged by God and the Bible, which might feel uncomfortable. But you should agree with them enough on a theological basis. If you want to know more just read the many letters in the Bible and then you get everything you need for that judgement.

You can't go wrong in a pentecostal church

The other day I heard that there are somewhere around 45,000 different denominations or different faiths today out there. That is crazy! I don’t know if that number is true or not but even if it’s half that it’s way too many! In the end, so long as it’s not One, it’s not His. Who can blame you for not being able to navigate the whole denomination thing. (Ephesians 4:5) One Lord, one faith, one baptism I would suggest you do what it says in the book of James, the Lord will provide your answer… (James 1:5-6) If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

Lutheran here! After we choose the new carpet at least we can go out for a beer without shame and guilt.

Church carpet color has caused so many church splits, the outlawing of church carpet should be on the agenda of the next ecumenical council.

LOL, when my little Southern Baptist Church got new carpet, the pastor refused to be a part of the committee choosing the carpet, because he had seen an actual church split over carpet and paint color! So when we painted, the ladies' group handled it. 😉😇

Can confirm! Usually we secret these votes to the council meeting or just have the buildings and grounds guy handle it.

@@tracywick7632 If the ladies had never been allowed to be involved there would never be splits. It's a blunt truth. Sorry anybody who has let their wife run things to shut them up.

Trent Horn was jokingly upset that his subscribers were saying he looks tired from his new Camera. My reply would be somebody is getting a lot more purgatory time for making that Camera.

T-r-a-n-s-u-b-s-t-a-n-t-i-a-t-i-o-n! Hey no fair! He's got it written on his arm! Ha, welcome to the jungle Kyle

@@redkiwi2351 Right arm 💪 Patrick!

Debunking catholicism I'm more blessed than mary Proof = Luke 11:27-28 27 And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!” 28 But He said, “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” In Luke 11:27 that random woman LITERALLY said Jesus your mother is Blessed, but are Lord Jesus LITERALLY said Believers are more Blessed than mary. Amen and Amen _________________________ CHRIST alone John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. Hebrew 9:15 And for this reason He is the Mediator of the new covenant, by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions under the first covenant, that those who are called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance. Acts 4:12 Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” 1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus _________________________ Work of God = John 6:28 Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?” 29 Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.” _________________________ 1 Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach Paul allows bishops to get marry, but catholic church goes against paul. Now these catholic will give a Verses from 1 Corinthians7 to say that paul gave the advice to stay unmarried. But they will not tell you that the same chapter they quote says 1 Corinthians 7:28 "even if you do marry, you have not SINNED". The passage literally says "young women, young men" and a bishop is supposed to be a Church ELDER. Mic drop _________________________ Jesus said Matthew 23:9 9 Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. And also said Holy Father to Heavenly Father= John 17:11 11 Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are. Jesus said call no one Father but still catholics call *pope holy father. Sad _________________________ Whenever a catholic argue about mary being the mother of God Use this to defeat the argument. Luke 8:21 But He answered and said to them, “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.” Matthew 12:46-50 46 While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. 47 Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” 48 But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 49 And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”. Mark 3:35 For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother.” John 19:26-27 26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” 27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. ( Jesus basically said John is the son of mary, and mary is the mother of John from that time onwards). By the way sarah is the mother of all proof=Galatians 4:21-26. _________________________ We should not pray to apostles Romans 1:25 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. Acts 10:25-26 25 As Peter was coming in, Cornelius met him and fell down at his feet and worshiped him. 26 But Peter lifted him up, saying, “Stand up; I myself am also a man.” Acts 14:15 15 and saying, “Men, why are you doing these things? We also are men with the same nature as you, and preach to you that you should turn from these useless things to the living God, who made the heaven, the earth, the sea, and all things that are in them, Revelation 19:10 10 And I fell at his feet to worship him. But he said to me, “See that you do not do that! I am your fellow servant, and of your brethren who have the testimony of Jesus. Worship God! For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.” Revelation 22:8-9 8 Now I, John, saw and heard these things. And when I heard and saw, I fell down to worship before the feet of the angel who showed me these things. 9 Then he said to me, “See that you do not do that. For I am your fellow servant, and of your brethren the prophets, and of those who keep the words of this book. Worship God." Colossians 2:18 18 Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, You cannot go to Father through saints nor mary, you can only go to the Father through Lord Jesus Christ= John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. Ephesians 2:18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father. Holy Spirit intercedes for us=Romans 8:26 26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And CHRIST as well=Romans 8:34 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Hebrews 7:25 25 Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. It's Christ and Holy Spirit who intercedes for us not apostles _________________________ There is only one Mediator between God and men LORD Jesus Christ= 1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus. Hebrew 9:15 And for this reason He is the Mediator of the new covenant, by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions under the first covenant, that those who are called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance. Hebrew 12:24 to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel. Hebrew 8:6 But now He has obtained a more excellent ministry, inasmuch as He is also Mediator of a better covenant, which was established on better promises. _________________________ Apostles are allowed to marry, 1 Corinthians 9:1-5 1 Am I not an apostle? Am I not free? Have I not seen Jesus Christ our Lord? Are you not my work in the Lord? 2 If I am not an apostle to others, yet doubtless I am to you. For you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord. 3 My defense to those who examine me is this: 4 Do we have no right to eat and drink? 5 Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas? If Peter (peter is cephas read John 1:42) the so called "first pope" was married, why does the catholic church doesn't allow "pope" to marry? _________________________ The so called vicar of christ/ pope/holy father Peter called himself a fellow elder in 1 Peter 5:1, and as per the qualifications of elder in Titus 1:5-9 the elder is allowed to get married; then why does the "pope" is required to be celibate and catholic? ( when Peter was neither celibate nor catholic). 1)Peter was not perfect human nor was he a perfect disciple 2)He sank down while walking on water 3)Our Lord said to peter get behind me satan 4)Peter reject our Lord 3 times 5)Our Lord rebuked Peter for calling fire from heaven 6)Our Lord rebuked Peter when he cut of the soilders ear 7)Paul rebuked Peter for being hypocrite because he was acting different in front of Jews and different in front of gentiles. 8) Moses messed up, and he was a important part of Bible ( that's why he never entered the promised land), 9)David messed up ( and he has the Holy Spirit), 10)King Soloman messed up, 11) Saul messed up and God regretted the decision (1 Samuel 15:10-11). Hatrick (Saul then David then Soloman back to back messed up) 12)The apostles run away a day before Lord Jesus got locked up. 13)The early church messed up Rev 2:18-20 If these great people could mess up, why do you think the catholic church wouldn't mess up. ____________________________________ Galatians 4:21-26 21 Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not hear the law? 22 For it is written that Abraham had two sons: the one by a bondwoman, the other by a freewoman. 23 But he who was of the bondwoman was born according to the flesh, and he of the freewoman through promise, 24 which things are symbolic. For these are the two covenants: the one from Mount Sinai which gives birth to bondage, which is Hagar- 25 for this Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia, and corresponds to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children- 26 but the Jerusalem above is free, which is the mother of us all. Sarah is mother of all, Not mary. _________________________ Also the Church has many name like Christians, Evangelists, Children of God, Believers, servents of God, bride of Christ, but not once the Church is called catholics. ________________________ Also, if the apostles didn't wrote it, I don't want it...

@@mynameis......23 literally nobody asked.

amen Brother. AMEN.

With Catholic Synodality, the bread alone expect to see. And is there laughter behind the masks? Pope Franciscus says "Don't ask!"

I laughed pretty hard. As a teen I visited a variety of churches... that one stands out in my memory.

We were both Catholics and wanted a church wedding, but my new job wanted me *right now* on the other side of the country so I couldn't get a ceremony scheduled, nor had Barb's annulment come through. So in my front yard by a female Unitarian minister / police sergeant. It was surprisingly effective.

@@rangefinderz5135 Yes, we were re-married in the Church. Don't assume.

@@rangefinderz5135 He's one of those Catholics who is opposed to the teachings of the Church (despite being adequately ignorant of them not to know the term "convalidated" even after allegedly going through the process himself), but can't bring themselves to completely walk away because something deep inside cautions him that it's true.

Unless the Catholics get an annulment. Mine did and both returned to the CC. I thought it was nuts. Twenty years and five kids, annulled? I'm just Christian.

Rob, yes the friendly, lighthearted discussions here are refreshing! I get very tired of people insulting others and being hateful on anti-social media while hiding behind their keyboard.

To all my fellow Christians: No more brother wars!

Amen brother

Agreed... So I for one welcome you to the one true church of the Roman Catholic... ;)

@@CaesarGB Seriously we need to stick together for many more reasons than less.

Amen brother!

About not being current on your Latin?

@@alanc1491 I don't need to know Latin, we have educated priests to read and translate it for us. We don't even need to read English scripture-I've taken all my family's Bibles to our storage unit. Took up too much space.

@@alanc1491 That's what I'm feeling guilty about.

Catholics are lukcy. Us Jews only get to feel the shame. We aren't that big into booze

@@leilettesartoga7276 I think most people just group them under "Mormon", don't they?

Sounds like the Baptist church is the one for me🤩👀

And the Unitarians go braless, trusting that God will support everything in the end.

I think you're right, but I'd have to know where the quotation marks belong.

Yay!

Lol!!

And the difference between a Babtist and a Lutheran? The Lutheran says "Hi" when he runs into his pastor at the liquor stare.

Welcome to the family sister... Dominus vobiscum

It’s because they really know we are Christian but they don’t want to admit it

The Calvinists were predestined to be left out (Actually, didn't Calvinism break apart into most of the denominations shown here, or am I misremembering my... Medieval History class tangeant?

It would take that to cover them all.

@@kcirtapecreip4155 Haha! I agree, pretty sure there are over 100 variants of Baptist alone!

@@jdougn2255 Right? that would be a good one in and of itself. or a satirical history of the conception of some; or from conception to contemporary of any of the denominations in general. Organized Christianity for the largest part is a joke. I'd call myself a baptist if it meant something personally. but what do you do? start your own religion, lol....inst that how we got here in the first place, lol

Babylon Bee: The Movie!?!

He missed out our love of potlucks, Might just be a southern Baptist thing tho

@@Goofiest_goober838 I’m southern-ish, Missouri. We informally use the term “potluck” to occasionally describe “fellowship dinners” 😏

My favorite is the "they're really undercover baptists" one. :P

Overweight from food at fellowship gatherings comes to mind. But gluttony is not a sin if you're a Baptist. I'm one

I wouldn't mind some fife and drum with my Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Yes, I was happy growing up as a Catholic. Fun parties, Christmas presents, Easter dresses, smoking and drinking and no guilt!

"Whenever you find four Catholics together, you'll probably find a fifth." .

Been there. Don't like when my church isn't being honest with me.

yikes. yea, They aren't non-denoms when they are officially belong to a denomination.

The part that made me LOL with your story is that half the congregation was all like, "meh, whatever, let's keep rollin' with this,".

I’ve gone to a mix of non denominational and baptist churches all my life and I really can’t tell the difference. Just as long as they’ve got electric guitars and drums, I don’t care one bit what they’re “officially” labeled as.

SBC is evil i think. it's got bad blood in it's history..... think KKK. I'm not joking.

I attended a Calvary Chapel for many years. A quip I heard from a Baptist while I was attending a CC, "Calvary Chapel isn't a denomination: it's a franchise." 😄

What do you think about the baptists?

@@uganda_mn397 i owe them. They showed me how a thriving parish looks like and how it looks like when everybody is helping everybody. BUT they error in their beliefs. Child baptism is valid. Jesus did not spoke symbolically when he said he is the bread of life AND they simply aren't built on Peter, thus, they aren't the one Church instituted by Christ. They don't believe in purgatory, so they lack sth here. They think they know the Bible but they read it so selectively that they know what affirms their believes, not the whole truth. The Roman Catholic Church is founded on Peter and is the Church instituted by Christ and thus, holds the whole truth.

@@danielalovejesus7912 ok, i understand, well, i don't want to call myself anything specific but my beliefs align with baptist theology the most. since you mentioned child baptism, i hope i can pose a friendly challenge. As my view is, baptism symbolises repentance which a child cannot have, so i wonder what you think about that

@@danielalovejesus7912 aren't you from slovakia?

I mean. I’m a non denominational and you’re not wrong.

It’s more of a reality than a joke, but it is really fun to tell them that. They also have drinking which is nice...

I grew up in a non denom church but they were really just Open Brethern 😂😂😂

A guest pastor at a local non-denominational megachurch recently remarked to the congregation: "Non-denominational. You know, that just means Pentecostal without the dress code".

I think Jon Crist said the “cooler website” line too funny

They let you guys online now?

@@kcirtapecreip4155 What are you talking about?

@@nathanielscreativecollecti6392 I remember a time when the internet was off limits to the Mormons ,or am I mixing them up with the other one again. I used to care about confusing them. That was a long time ago. They are both cults and everyone in them knows it. I think they just want to be in the out crowd. some folks enjoy that.

@@kcirtapecreip4155 You've commented this twice (so far) on posts like this. I'm beginning to doubt that you actually believe Mormons can't be on the internet.

@@kcirtapecreip4155 You're mixing it up, possibly with the creepy splinter faction that the rest of us have nothing to do with. = )

Hahahaha. Nah. We’re used to it.

No......... laughter 😆 from the LDS crowd. 😆

The Babylon Bee was thinking "do we risk upsetting all the protestant viewers by saying Mormons are Christians or do we say they're not and... well they weren't upset about an award winning Broadway musical making fun of them so we'll be fine." And just for the record it's the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but we understand that it doesn't really role off the tongue in a short KZfaq video.

@@jamesgibson1098 they had an article about that recently, Something like "Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saint members wish their church had a name that was easier to say" Lol

The only thing we should take serious is the gospel; living it and sharing it. Humor helps.

that part was definetly not satirical

Satire is only satire when true.

Don't you mean when Catholics don't seem uptight enough? I was raised Lutheran and thought the Catholics were the "cool kids". 😆🤣😉

@@brett4264 Perhaps. Though they are the ones who think they need to give up meat for Lent. Give up something else instead. Like buying useless crap online or something like that.

Lutheran: when you want potluck and weak coffee to go with your sunday gossip fest...don't forget to grab a cookie

Spaghetti suppers vs. Oktoberfest, is it really a contest?

@@brett4264 when you have to follow one set of rules, others will always look lax

Wow you must be old

@@Sincerit Na I'm 19

I’m LDS too, age 25. I love Babylon Bee!

🇩🇰Lutheran here and GREATLY enjoy Babylon bee as well

I've never had a poor quality Kirkland brand product, so that was high praise.

Me too 😂😂😂💕

Yeah, should have gone with Great Value brand

That my friends is a VERY Mormon response. Lol

Indeed

@@Rocketninja200 I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And i'm upset that they didn't even mention us by name, let alone make fun of us.

Since Mormons are OBSESSED with family trees ... I'd call you "the GERMANS of christianity" ... overdoing things that only make sense if you use moderation and KNOW WHEN TO STOP!

thanks for the 3 shout outs to "mormons" - so much there to 'love on'...you missed out!

lots of bling, for sure

I heard that too!!

It's sad. At one time there were many faithful and Biblical Christians in the Methodist and Wesleyan tradition. It is never good to compromise with the world. Jesus saved me out of this sin. The church must preach the truth in order to love sinners. There is freedom when we surrender our lives to Christ and let go of our sins and idols.

@@cheerfulturtlegirl To think, that Methodism was started because they thought the Church of England had turned into a church of "casual Christianity" and wasn't taking true Christianity and proper doctrine seriously and reverently enough. It has become the very thing it was created to be in retaliation against. I read some about the origins of Methodism in a book about William Wilberforce and wow, the reasons for its origin and Methodism as it is in the West today could not be more blatantly opposed to each other.

It may be a regional thing, but in the South you can find Methodist churches that still consider marriage "man and woman only" and will not ordain LGB pastors, to the point that they talk separation from the main body. What they'll call themselves, and how they'll detangle property ownership and such from the greater Methodist church I don't know, but talks are being had. Not that I'm saying I support or oppose division, just that "Methodists universally embrace gay marriage" isn't as cut and dry as the video implies. (I'd have made a joke instead along the lines of "Methodist - the only major denomination to embrace gays... maybe... someday... or not... we're still talking about it. Don't tell non-American methodists though!")

@@DJBabb The denomination is being split, and each individual church votes as a congregation as to whether they want to split off or stay. Those that split off do all the LGBTQ stuff. Those that stay reject it. So officially, Methodism rejects gay marriage and all that. At least for the UMC

@@dudeinadoughboy4327 I'm part of a UMC and we are literally voting to leave tonight. You have it in reverse. The UMC affirms LGBTQ and the ones leaving are the ones who do not affirm it.

Catholic here too. The saddest thing is that the "alcohol culture" stereotype comes from the protestant mockery of the sacramental consecration of the bread and wine, for them that's no real Jesus presence but an excuse for the priest to "drink" wine instead. Kinda blasphemous scoffing too.

Alcohol is a gift from God, drunkenness and debauchery is a sin. Not sure what the protestants are confused on

100%!

Total Sarcasm!

What the heck is wrong with you.

@@amyrite5176 I'm not the one who wrote the joke.

It’s funny, because it’s true. 😂😂

i thought we were talking about Christian denominations

@@mosespayne2248 Yeah, it's not like the Church is named after Him or anything...

@@mosespayne2248 JW's believe they are more Christian that actual Christians.

@@caribbeanbound8357 and yet...

@@tomkerruish2982 true

That's the People's front of Judea.

@@fredkilner2299 Don't you mean the People's Front of Judea?

Reformed Baptists and Reformed Presbyterians all affirm to Calvinism, consistent to the Scripture while there are Evangelical Baptist and Evangelical Presbyterians mixed with Penticostalism, NAR and Charismatics who are all Armenians or Remonstrants...

I don't understand how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is identified as non Christian religion

@@77gmcnut it's satire. So many evangelicals say we are not Christian because we don't believe the same way they do. I thought it was funny.

@@soneedanap I thought it was funny too. It's just so ironic when The Savior's name is part of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" name. It's right there!

@@77gmcnut I'm with you

Because we don’t accept creeds that came 400 years after Christ and his apostles. Right, if you don’t believe in the Trinity, you’re a fake Christian. Tell that to Justin Martyr who was a student of Polycarp, who was a student of John the apostle. Justin said Christ was another Lord and God subjected to the Creator in his dialogue with Trypo the Jew. For all you historians, this is before the Counsel of Nicaea.

As long as you follow Galatians 1:8 then I also consider you a Christian. The Mormon church teaches a different gospel so if you hold to the official doctrine of the Mormon church then you are not a Christian, no matter if you consider yourself to be one or not.

Mormons aren’t Christians convert to Eastern Orthodoxy the faith that Christ created.

@@rinceradio Yes, because Christ was a teetotaler. Imagine making a serious comment on a satire video. You must be a Lutheran.

In a similar venue, I surprised a Polish Dominican when I could discuss the details of the Filioque controversy after several drinks. The only drink I can't take is gin...probably because it's English! (Not a universally Catholic bug, just an Irish one.)

@@FourEyedFrenchman I am a Lutheran and Lutherans can outdrink Catholics.

Welcome to the family brother/sister...🤗

Welcome indeed.

Yep got out of that pretty unscathed

same here, and was surprised to not find other pentecostals in the comments when i went looking

Penticostals and Charismatics have been shipped to Asian and Africa embroiled with prosperity Gospel and outright denying of the infallibility, authority and sufficiency of the Bible

@Alexis A a lot of alcoholic catholics however

How does one ask a room of Pentecostals if they want a drink? Hands down anyone who's thirsty.

Same, that jab at the UUs was the funniest part

Suppose to be the church of the wealthiest community members

Maybe I had to be born into it to experience what you have, but as an adult convert to Orthodoxy, I have no idea what you mean by that. :P

@@xandyrwlkyr2563 the fact that many monks have compared the faith to sitting really close to a cliff and only taking a step back for a moment when you are about to fall. Edit: the monks saying is based on something Jesus said but it seems to be more core to orthodoxy than most.

@@xandyrwlkyr2563 Convert here, too. And I don't understand the comment, either. I'm just thankful for the beauty of Orthodoxy.

@@vasilistheocharis164 Ever since I converted, I have become infinitely more peaceful while also more and more aware of my failings. Thankfully, the knowledge didn't come all at once! I guess since I came into the faith after searching just about everywhere else (and in my fifth decade) the precipice concept feels reassuring. I'm glad to know it is right there. The only thing that has been really difficult is that none of my family nor previous friends are Orthodox.

😂😂💕