"They would go with this one, not this one." As Colin has said in multiple interviews, "Every six times they get it right!"

I will always remember when The Doctor was Peter Capaldi. He was my Doctor, he was my professor, he was my warrior, he was my hero, and I didn't want him to go.

I'd say the doctor in general is a trans icon. A constantly changing face with a name different than the one assigned at birth and constantly has people asking for their "real" name.

To list off a few reasons why Twelve is my favorite Doctor: 1. Socially awkward on occasion (a trait I definitely share) 2. Only modern-era Doctor who has a primary musical instrument (as a music major, that made me smile) 3. That subtle "call me" he gave Psi at the end of Time Heist. Really sweet!

12 for me is a struggle between sentiment and pragmatism. He's the Doctor most focused on his responsibility he's always holding himself to such a high standard. He knows what being the Dr means in S8 but is trying too hard, being ruthlessly pragmatic in trying to get there. In S9 he's at his most sentimental, at his most dangerously co-dependent with Clara. He's very nostalgic and reflective, hence why there were so many classic who references in his era. S10 he finds the balance-- and I like that. Its a character arc that's more reflective of real life, it's better not to be all completely one thing or the other (e.g. very optimistic or a complete cynic) a happy medium is usually the best way to go about things. And what I really appreciate is that he's a character that could surprise me but when I thought about what he was doing and why it all made perfect sense and fit with his character.

"You are beautiful. You are valid. You are loved." And you made me cry. In a good way that I didn't know I needed. Thanks.

I loved the 12th Doctor's arc. I also really resonated with 11's speech when he regenerated. The part about being all different people all through our lives was so powerful to me that I incorporated it into my vows with my ex.

Capaldi is my favorite Doctor. I loved watching figure himself out. As a guy who has Aspergers I connected to him because I see myself. The journey through the series he had, really fleshed him out. I do miss him

I love how much Capaldi's Doctor developed (at least compared to some of the other Doctors) sometimes in noticeably drastic ways and sometimes in very subtle ways. My personal favorite development he had was his views on hugs; when he first starts out he says he's not a hugger to Clara, but by the end of his Era he was definitely a hugger and valued being close to his Companions.

I adore that "...passing through, helping out, learning" speech...it's got a slight kind of Buddhist-y touch to it, no?

Screw the algorithm, this (to me at least as a cisgender, slightly bi guy) might be the most important video you've made. Showing your journey through my favourite show and my favourite doctor, made me understand so much. Thankyou for that :)

I'm interested to see where this goes. Capaldi was a phenomenal Doctor

I feel as if eventhough every other doctor is the doctor, 12 in his final moments of Doctor falls etc is THE DOCTOR what the Doctor SHOULD BE, kind and fights to their last breath out of love for others rather than themselves.

Peter definitely has the best story arc for his entire regeneration. Questioning himself, as the ultimate arbiter in any situations he encounters. We see this especially with episodes like 'The Beast Below', and with the 'Timelord Victorious' and the specials. Peter's arc is clearer, fuller and just more explored than four episodes that try to cover a lot of ground. This was the 'ah, yes' moment for seeing his trajectory. Peter has the courage to question his core beliefs, to ask and be challenged by Clara, 'Into The Dalek'. I see the Doctor as someone who's blind to their sexuality. Either asexual/aromantic sometimes missing social cues. This is something I struggle with too. It's not a strong drive for me. Though I haven't ruled out Aspergers either. Eye contact is difficult for me. The course isn't always perfectly executed, but it does seem to have a broad base who identify with him and their own challenges. I'm not sure if it's banter, abuse, or the writer's humour. But the interractions between 12 and Clara are brutal and hilarious. Heels for a date with a shelf, blindness to her age, oblivious to her make-up, or social life. Part of that appeals, as a Scottish thing, the ability to have friends insult/challenge you, and keep their friendship is precious. It's never done with cruelty. There's no deep analysis on my part, just a great character that I love.

He’s my favorite as well. I also identified with him as a neurodivergent person who had to learn how to deal with people in the world. I loved the episode where he’s consoling people over the death of their teammate using flash cards.

For me the Doctor I always got drawn to and identified with was Matt Smith's 11th Doctor. He was dorky and awkward. He had his little quirks and eccentricities and I related to that. 11 was who I wanted to be if I had the confidence. He didn't care about looking silly and people looking at him funny and making comments about him being weird. He embraced it. I was very different to all the girls in my high school. I was living in my own head and in my own little world. I was never interesting in boys (closet lesbian) or makeup or stuff like that. I was at home reading books and doodling and scribbling stories in notebooks. Smith's Doctor just spoke to me. He just embraced everything about himself. Even the strange bits. He made me feel happier about myself and that fact I was different to everyone else. He was my friend that I could tune in to watch ever Saturday night and go on adventures with. My mad man with his big blue box. and like over the years since I started questioning and coming to terms with my sexuality I have just been even more drawn to the 11th Doctor. He is the one I queer read because he is the perfect example of self acceptance and embracing your own identity.

I feel like if I was trying to explain what kind of content this channel makes to a friend, I would show them this video title and walk out

It's always great when character growth is represented in the characters hair too.

The part about when you find something that feels like it's clicking with you and so you go way too far in. I have a really hard time describing it to even myself, but I've done this so many times. Wow. I got kind of emotional with how strongly that spoke to me. I've gone way too masc and way too feem. Trying to find where I'm at. It makes me feel like I'm not really there in the meantime, and lost in my most private moments. Great video.

Ohh maaaaannnnnn... Congratulations, you just FIXED s8, at least for me. And thanks for that, because Twelve is MY Doctor, and Capaldi is my favorite actor to fill the role.

As someone who has also realized after 30 or so years of confusion (living rather uncomfortably as a "gay man") and coming to embrace being genderfluid over the last 3 or so years, diving in hard as you say and then walking it back, I definitely see your take here, though my own deep introspection and acceptance all came after this arc, I wonder if somehow it appealed to me because I was inspired by the fact that maybe one day I would be willing to question my own identity so hard and come out alright from it. It seems like for whatever reason, I was the only one of my Whovian friends who stuck it out through all of Capaldi's run, and I feel much better for it, especially now having this reading to connect with. Thank you!

Thank you for sharing this; these are the conversations that were the most interesting to me in terms of fandom, specifically why people gravitated so hard toward a particular incarnation of the Doctor, instead of it devolving into competitions about which one is the "best" incarnation. Everyone's reasons are personal, whether they can put their finger on exactly why or not, and discussing it is just a great way to open up new perspectives and hopefully more appreciation for folks. "My" Doctor is and always has been 11. I'd seen some of 10's run prior to that but the series hadn't really clicked with me as strongly as it did for a lot of other people until series 5. Something about the dark, spooky fairy tale theme of that series hit a chord, but more than that was Smith's performance as the Doctor. Not only did he just bring a stellar performance that I immediately and unwaveringly believed in every scene, but I was watching it at a time when I was very quietly and slowly contemplating my own aromanticism and asexuality. I didn't even know that aromanticism was a thing at that point, and the idea of asexuality was very new to me. It wasn't a conscious thing on my part, but there was just something about this character that resonated with me in a really deep way and gave me a sense of relief and comfort. Here was someone who was quite strange to other people, who dressed and behaved in non-conforming ways, despite what anyone else had to say about it. His bow ties and fezes and suspenders made him happy and felt right, and he owned himself when he dressed that way, even though it made no sense to anyone else. Not that a dress code makes someone aro or ace, but in a metaphorical sense that resonated with me really deeply-- to be outwardly strange to other people and not care because it's who you are, and the easy way he could continually brush off complaints about how "not cool" it was and not take it personally because he was just so deeply embodying himself that it didn't matter. He made it cool. To say nothing of the way he interacts with the concepts of romance and sex, as though they're a bit unfathomable to him. He understands what they are and that they're important to other people, and while he might flirt with it a bit as some interesting concept, it's not something he ever seems to want or to chase after or encourage anyone to pursue with him. Amy hitting on him at first was uncomfortable and he'd shut it down, River's pursuit of him seemed to be confusing, sometimes baffling, sometimes fun, and unfortunately a lot of the time, coerced. Sure, the flirting was fun but whenever it came to anything serious for her, it never felt reciprocal. It always felt to me like he understood how important and real it was for her, and he was attempting to be gentle with her feelings, but she was such a bulldozer that often giving in to her was the only way to get through to her. Others may disagree, but that's how it felt to me. Their marriage always felt very one-sided, even if it was clear that he did care about her, and it seemed like he always felt more sad for her than anything, being in love with him in a way that he couldn't reciprocate. But despite his lack of romantic or sexual feelings, he was still unreservedly full of-- for lack of a better word-- love. For ideas and adventure and discovery, and most of all life and people. His friendship with Amy was so deep and full and resonated with me so hard because that's how I love my friends. It's love, we don't have another word for it, but it's not the sort that Amy mistook it for early on, which is something that deeply hit me. I've made that mistake in the past, not knowing that there's more than one way to love someone. Those relationships didn't survive it, so seeing theirs do so gave me so much hope. Honestly, as much as I did and still do love this iteration of the doctor, I couldn't hang on watching the show after Amy and Rory left. Those three were the connective tissue that I latched onto, and nothing worked the same after it was gone. That found family, that display of different kinds of love between the three of them, the exploration of it and the validation that the romantic one wasn't more important than the platonic one, that really meant a lot. Those episodes, the great ones and the clunkers, are not only my Doctor, they're my Doctor Who. They still bring me comfort and happiness when it feels like the world doesn't get me or even seem interested in valuing the existence of people beyond romance and sex-- it's a reminder that I can still mean something to people without those things, and that we should matter to each other without those things. People matter.

Wow, your reading of Twelve's character arc makes me wonder if at the moment of regeneration he spared a thought for Donna, who's own arc can be seen as a tragic foreshadowing of his journey of self discovery. Both angry and ornery at the start, they slowly grow and become loving and kind and the best of themselves... only to have that development ripped away from them by forces beyond their control, regeneration and memory wipe, and both being terrified at the loss. I like to think that he did think of her in that moment. That actually sounds like a good short fanfic now that I think about it.

Capaldi is definitely my favourite of the NuWho doctors. Capaldi's final speech is one of the first times a regeneration actually made me cry and I still tear whenever I hear it. I have a really hard connecting with others and the questioning is he a good person really resonated with me. There's a scene with Clara where she has made him cards to help him empathize with others that hot closer to home that I feel comfortable with.

"My Doctor" right now is Capaldi too. For similar reasons. And different reasons. I particularly related to him because, like me, he ...doesn't quite *get* ...people.

Thank you for sharing this. Without people being willing to share I would never be able to expand my appreciation of the Doctor to experiences other than my own.

I think the journey of the twelfth doctor resonates with every person struggling in their life finding their way and accepting themselves. Life is a journey which most of us start with a goal but no means to get there, then we are trying to overachieve till we find the balance to happiness. Every person is evolving, I think capaldi should resonate with every person who searches a true self.

This is phenomenal! I’ve always loved the twelfth doctor but I never made this comparison or noticed his character arc the way you did!

I absolutely love your take on Capaldi's 12th Doctor. He is my favorite too. I completely agree that he stands out as the only (modern era at least) Doctor to get a complete character arc. Usually (not always) the character arc domain belongs to the companion. Further I believe he is the best actor to be the Doctor. I love him because he is the quintessential soft hearted grump. His journey from questioning his goodness to doing everything in his power by word and deed to help Missy redeem herself is so heartfelt. Despite the gruff exterior he is the kindest and fiercest in his love of others even to the point of crossing his own moral boundaries. But he realizes his mistakes and feels the brunt of the consequences more deeply it seems than his former selves. It seems that by Capaldi's era the memories of the losses over his collected lifetimes is finally catching up with him. He's gone from the Time Lord who ran away to the one always running to help. Tagging on a bit to your point...at the end he didn't want to change who he was. He also was still ignorant to Missy's change of heart. I think that perceived failure weighed on him. I truly believed he hoped to leave Missy out there being a Time lady doing good across time and space. Maybe he figured the only avenue left for more growth was to become one himself.

This is so fascinating to me. I’ve always loved Peter Capaldi’s doctor but was never able to pinpoint why. I just knew I loved his character more than I loved the stories he was part of. I think your perspective has helped me appreciate what makes him so great.

I never would have considered this interpretation but damn, it’s good. I’m so glad you have this Doctor to emphasize with.

That was beautifully done dear! 12 is also my favorite for many of the reasons you stated. My journey manifested in discovering my core values and who I am. I was raised Southern Baptist and at 16 was one of the people outside of planned parenthood spreading hate. In my 20's I moved towards the 'woke' side of life and over corrected to where I was participating in the Ferguson protests without knowing exactly what I was protesting for and not doing proper research into the causes I was standing by. Through time, agony, therapy, and friends that lovingly corrected me... I'm moving towards an equilibrium of not abandoning where I came from, but deconstructing the toxic things from that time in my life to rebuild who I am.

This sounds like an interesting take. Can't wait!

OK, this adds a whole new layer to 12 and I hadn't ever thought about this before. 12's arc is a thing of beauty and makes him the best Doctor we've ever had. But what speaks to me about my favourite? Well there a many things about 11. One is that I have kinda based my personality off of him due to me first seeing him at such a young age, but also there are those traits he has. The boundless, childlike enthusiasm, the nerdy/geeky outlook on things like bowties and the way his relationships with his friends work. And then, like me although bit wasn't based off of him, there are those dark moments of rage and anger that almost consume you. I feel that often, and then those moments where both 11 and I almost have the weight of the world on our shoulders or it feels like that and we need to battle our own inner demons and stay strong to enjoy life. And also, humans only have one life. And at this point, so did 11. He lived life like it was his only and that way of living can really speak out to us as an audience who can't time travel or regenerate. We can follow this Doctor through his final days (Or so he thinks) and identify with it greater, a trait that can also be found in 10's short lifespan. But there's just so many of these elements that truly speak to me about this incarnation. Also his Old man in a young man's body performance is exquisite.

Thank you for the clear explanation of the trans umbrella. Love love you and your channels. So look forward to your videos and opinions. Very thought provoking.

Capaldi is my favorite Doctor too. He was meant play this role at this time his life. The man has gravitas beyond any other doctor besides tenant.

this is a very interesting viewpoint! i really connect to the 12th doctor as an aroace individual personally. on a recent rewatch i came across the encounter of clara asking him, "so you were pretending? to be heartless?" and that word hit me like a TRUCK

12, Bill and Nardole are awesome

Vera, I hope you see this. I binge your videos ALL the time and I love every single one. But I love this one the most. Thank you for sharing something so personal with the council. It really helps me understand better and empathize more so I can be a better ally and person and I just really appreciate you and all your videos and all the things you've taught me. And I'm so so happy that you've reached that place where you're comfortable and have your own happy medium. I dunno if you're a hugger but I'm sending a hug thru the comments. You're the best 💜💜💜

I never thought of the second series of capaldi's run like that, your video really helped me see that and some stuff about me growing up... thank you!

You nailed why I love 12! His journey of discovery while staying true to his core of kindness. Great video.

You are one of the only KZfaqrs I follow that seems to be considerate of when to program when ads occur so that you do not get cut off mid sentence. Thank you!

This was such a beautiful analysis. I was so captivated throughout and got quite emotional at times. My favourite Doctor is Twelve as well, for a lot of the reasons you stated, I love how deep and complex he is and he feels the most relatable of all the Doctors because of his journey of self-discovery. I also find him to have such a magical quality, akin to Santa or a wizard. Beyond him being a Time Lord, there's a magical quality to Twelve that makes him that much more inviting. I also just feel like he would hug me when I was sad, you know?

For me, the Twelfth Doctor resonated when I came to terms with the fact that I never really "beat" depression, rather it's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. I've been to several places where he has been -- shutting people out, trying to chase after thrills and highs to feel happy again, and then being happy and engaged in my pursuits, but knowing that it will come crashing down again. When he slammed his fists on the ground during The Doctor Falls, I felt that -- I've been in similar poses, and screamed like that before. But what is important is that he doesn't allow it to consume him. He keeps living, keeps learning, and keeps trying to be kind and decent.

I always read Twelve as queer and autistic. He quickly became my favorite, especially in S9 where he's sort of going through a midlife crisis. (Plus the monologue in The Zygon Invasion hit me so hard. The speech is specifically about war, but anyone who's been through any sort of trauma can relate to not wanting anyone else to suffer the same way they did.)

This video is so perfect. I felt the Capaldi's Doctor arc talk to me as well, but in another level, however your reading is just amazing

The 12th Doctor is my doctor as well ♥ His character arc is simply the best. For me, it's summed up in the speech you mentioned (I do what I do because it's right.... It's kind " And the zygon inversion speech talking about using his pain to fuel him to insure others don't feel that way. Touches me on such a deep level.

I needed this. Thank you. I can relate to a slow journey of self-discovery, and I thought your take on Capaldi's Doctor was beautiful, especially your description of finally coming to know yourself and the fear of having that change again after all you've put into learning who you are. What an affirming interpretation of my favorite Doctor's arc.

The Twelfth Doctor's arc may very well be the strongest of all the Doctors and this outlook makes it even more magical and special! Wonderful video!! :D

This is a brilliant and rather beautiful take on Capaldi's doctor's arc. His incarnation is my favourite and, for me, the most meaningful.

Wow!! So glad I've found someone else who has Capaldi as there favourite Doctor!! The best acting anyone has done playing the Doctor imo. All your other points are so well made. Loved the video. X 😊

This idea of self-discovery has always fascinated me, in the context of regeneration. What exactly changes, beyond the cosmetic? Is it the personality, the sense of self? Or his entire mind? Is the mind of Hartnell still within Whitaker? In terms of connection, I'm split between McGann and Eccleston. McGann, especially in The Movie, addresses a very specific turning point in my life. Whereas Eccleston mirrors a lot of my temperament since that point. Never actually thought about it in that way before.

well I sure didn't expect this to make me cry! this was very good Nathaniel, well done :)

Oh my God ok I got to the ending and I'm genuinely teary. I'm in a weird place in my life and I really needed to hear that. Hey Vera, in case nobody told you yet today, you are beautiful and valid and loved. I love you lots 💜💜💜 (in a non creepy way I promise, it's in like an internet friend kind of way)

I drew the Doctor in trans art a few times on Twitter, while I was a causally watching the show since the 50th, considered Capaldi my first Doctor and my Doctor. During the time I watched his run I realized I was nonbinary myself, my Doctor Who-esq character I am writing for my comic I ended up changing to realizing they were nonbinary later after watching some of Capaldi's best episodes. You do hit and get across a lot of my feelings I have towards 12 and why 12 is my favorite Doctor.

omg i loved your ending speech! such a nice and kind way to end the video! so great to have some positivity! the thing I love about capaldi's doctor is his determination. in heaven sent for example. life is a struggle and doing the right thing is hard. but to stand and fight on to do the right thing even when you are tired and broken is so beautiful to me. that is who I want to be. I want to help people. i do in little ways everyday. The doctor is an inspiration for me as a hero. i want to do good and hep people and heal. I've been thinking about becoming an actual doctor for this reason. kindness and love and empathy. it is so simple and beautiful. to choose love and creation over hate and entropy. to be a good man. I am an idot as well! but I will always try to be good. and the doctor showed me that. thank you Doctor Who.

Thanks for sharing your connection with this Doctor, I hadn't thought of his character in this light before. I think Capaldi's portrayal might be my favorite version of the Doctor for similar reasons, the depth and realness of a character who has more change over time and does more introspection than the average tv hero. Your reading adds another interesting layer to my view of the Doctor

I'm late to the party but I love when the creators I watch open up. I teared up a bit.

Peter Capaldi is (currently, as you said) tied for my favorite doctor with McCoy. Because he has the arc as you said, which i love so much. Series 10 is my favorite of modern Who because of who he had become. I had 12 as my screen saver on my phone for a while, and I met someone who liked Doctor who and showed them my phone and they went, "ew, you like Capaldi? He's so mean." And it's kind of frustrating how many people I've talked to stopped or skipped Capaldi's run halfway through series 8 because they didnt like his callousness or his demeanor. Which is understandable, but I always have to tell them how much better he gets, and how much his character grows. Give Pete a chance!

This is one of the best videos I've watched, thanks very much for sharing this...I've been a fan of Doctor Who since the late 1970s and I think Capaldi is my favourite too. A great inspiration for all of us. Thank you.

Very thoughtful and insightful! The writing and acting of the Twelfth Doctor is so rich and layered that it speaks personally to many viewers with vastly different experiences and identities. He touches many of us deeply during his journey. Thank you for this video! 💜

Empowering, thought provoking, humbling - I loved this. I loved Capaldi's Doctor, I could see the wisdom, sadness and pain of his evolution during his time, and it's a phenomenal portrayal. My daughters friend has transitioned, and you sharing your thoughts and insights is so meaningful and relevant. Love your inspiring podcasts, keep on keeping on :)

It’s 6.30am and I’m having a little cry over my coffee, this was so beautifully done

When I got into DoctorWho. Matt Smith was the Doctor of the time. Him being the 11th, my favorite number. His sonic being green, my favorite color. It appealed to me a lot. But, I find I enjoy him a lot, because, looking back. As an autistic person, he shared many qualities I either had, or felt I wanted, about myself. He had such nuance, despite being a nerd on the outside. He commanded such power, with a smile on his face. He tried to be comforting, even if he didn't always want to be. He had intense anger or sorrow, but could have so much joy. And also, more relevant to my years now voice acting, he's could still do so much, and was still so loved. Despite having a higher voice. Something I too have. He could do so many things, and be loved by so many people, just by being the person that he is. And where I don't always know what to do, the way he seemed to most times. He's a lot of the qualities I want to embody.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with Peter Capaldi. He quickly became my favourite Doctor too - for all the reasons you stated, and also because he felt like the first incarnation who had a real sense of awareness of not just himself, but all the other, previous incarnations of himself. With the others, sure, they knew about the previous 'versions' of themselves, but the mindset was very much, 'well, that was then, but this is who I am now, and so this is the 'me' that matters.' Whereas with 12, Capaldi somehow injected this sense of knowing and acknowledging he'd made mistakes in his previous incarnations, and if he wanted to be the best version of himself in the here and now, he needed to recognise what mindsets and personality quirks of his previous selves kept leading him astray. Capaldi's portrayal felt deeper and more open and honest.

Just found this after watching you for years. Don’t know how I missed it. McCoy mattered so much to me as a teen because his relationship with Ace was exactly the validation I needed that I wasn’t in the wrong for being the rebellious child who didn’t have a relationship with zir family anymore. Eccleston completely engaged me, a person who was dealing heavily with my PTSD at the time he came along. Capaldi, though *sigh* Capaldi was everything. As a ND, Queer person, I just completely understood him. He was me (but always better). He fumbled his interactions with humanity, seemingly cold whilst caring sooo much. He was a bit of a mess about how to present himself to the world, so hid it with acerbity or audacity. He was my perfect Doctor. Thank you so much for this. 💜💜➕🌈🟦

Thank you for making this video, it takes a lot to be this open about one's personal journey on the internet. You really made me see Twelve in a new light. You're amazing!

Thank you so much for sharing this take, because I feel the same way about Capaldi and his arc, and it's good to know I'm not alone. The Capaldi run coincides almost exactly with me trying to figure out who I was and where my life was going, and I fell in love with Twelve as I watched him struggling with the exact same questions. Then he regenerated into a woman. Eight days later, my egg cracked. I'm not saying the Capaldi run turned me trans--in hindsight, I always had been--but it definitely helped prime me for that realization, and now I can't NOT read it through that lens. So thank you for sharing that you have a similar reading.

Capaldi is also my favorite doctor, but I didn’t tie it specifically to being LGBT+. I think it’s more of a generally absurdist way of coping with life (identity, trauma, politics, caregiving profession, etc)... feel depressed in powerlessness/facing the absurd, make it a joke bc nothing really matters/no control, and just do you as you to live in defiance of the absurd...

Series 10 came out during my senior year of high school when I was in a major identity crisis and Twelve’s journey hit me really hard and since then he’s been my favorite, and all of my college dorm rooms have been covered in quotes from him.

This was an amazing read of the Twelfth Doctor, and it reminded me of how much I've enjoyed watching your journey and evolution of self-expression over the time I've followed this channel. It has been (and continues to be) wonderful. YOU are wonderful. 💜

Thanks for this. I've never quite grokked 12, and you've given me a bit to think about. Might have to do some re-watching.

it's interesting bc the way you described his reluctance to regenerate by it being an undoing of all the work he's done to become who he is really reminded me of donna's devastating ending. i guess it makes sense they're both your favourites :)

I am going to show this video to anyone who wants to know why Capaldi is one of my favourite Doctors! This sums up my views on him perfectly!

I’ve only just come across this video, but it’s amazing. I’m FtM and going thru a lot of self discovery. I adopted Peter Capaldi as my fashion icon because I was looking for a role model to dress like. I’m also an INTJ like Twelve, so it fits. I didn’t realise other people felt this way about 12. Thanks for the video!!

Hey, V...still catching up :) Glad Capaldi connects with you. You make a compelling case. I respond to 12's changes and fears in my own. My own choices has left me alone, rudderless, and without purpose. "Am I a good man" resounds, and seeing 12 (and Picard) work it out still sustains me.

Geez, now I kinda want to binge 12. I love Capaldi, even before he was the Doctor. I really appreciate the way you encapsulate this arc, and I appreciate hearing your thoughts.

This was an amazing video! I have not watched much of doctor who but now I want to

Found this really interesting Vera, thanks for sharing! I agree, 12 is definitely my favourite Doctor.

That journey he goes through, the self discovery, the diving into one way and then another until you find balance.....uou described it well, and I feel a lot of people can relate to that, in many different ways and for a variety of moments in life.

I love that you shared those pics of you, Nathaniel, you looked great!

Very eloquent. In my own life, I have experienced going through years of struggle to find myself and then having a trauma come along and throw me right back at ground zero. It is terrifying. You express it very well.

I don’t know if you still read comments on an 8 month video but I just wanted to share this. For the longest time 12th was my favorite. He still probably is my favorite. But recently I’ve begun to relate a lot more to the 10th doctors story. Specifically in his loneliness. I think that’s a theme that pervades his run more than any other, and the stories and ways he deals with it connects with me so much right now. He can surround himself with people, but after Rose it’s so clear that he can’t let anyone back in like he wants and needs to. He can be surrounded by people who love him and who he loves (planets in the sky), He can have the whole world praying his name, but that isn’t what solves his loneliness. His story is a tragedy, and thinking about that scene with him in the rain saying goodbye to wilf…. God that fucks me up, now more than ever. I didn’t realize how much of 10’s emotions where a product of loneliness until now but on rewatching season 3 through the specials, it’s so clear and I relate to it so much.

My fave is also 12, but the reason is because his relationship with Clara really matched my experience about being out and gay and having crushes on people I shouldn't have ("He was impossible" and all) - the regeneration is like a coming out/confession, series 8 is examining how that change affected the relationship, and series 9 is about having been accepted for having those feelings what do they do with it and how far (too far) would they go, and series 10 being a nice medium (again relating to the going too far and finding a balance thing) and having accepted that someone important is gone from his life (Clara/River for example) and how to carry on and living a good life with new people. With 12 and Missy's relationship, it does feel like an old spectre of past failed relationship, how to deal with that moving forward, accepting that and changing its relationship with you, even if it fails at some stage. Not as articulately put as you but yea that's what I'm thinking.

Oh, and this was a fascinating take on his arc/how you related it to your own journey. And people say Doctor Who is just some tv show. When really, it's so much more.

Bravo! Thanks for helping this old lady understand. Capaldi is my favorite, too.

I think you did a really good job with this video. I think you really made it really relatable while defining your own journey really well and I appreciate that skill (: I enjoy your thoughts and thank you for heightening my love for 12.

I’m probably your oldest fan (my age not the length of my fandom) and I confess I am ignorant non gender existence but this video has helped me to understand it a little better.

Brilliant video. I, too saw his arc and it also resonated with me. I don’t have as interesting of a revelation (I recently discovered that I had undiagnosed ADD) but I, too wept when Capaldi didn’t want to go. In retrospect, it’s even MORE painful to watch Capaldi’s end as the writing for his predecessor undoes nearly all of that hard work and self-reflection🤦🏻‍♂️

Thank you for you insights. I love how you shared your journey and how saw yourself in the 12th doctor's journey. You taught me a lot. Again, thank you!

Hi I'm rewatching the capaldi run and as someone who suffered from anxiety and depression your reading resonated with me a lot. I've gone from always anxious and quiet to overly loud and annoying 2 some people n I'm trying 2 find a middle ground still. So I wanted to thank you for helping me see capaldis run this way even though I already loved it. Edit: thanks for the like

Hats off to moffat he created a character arc most probably under strenuous circumstances

oh yes thank you, I think Twelve's arc just resonates especially well with anyone who's struggled with their identity. There's a lot of self-discovery, self-loathing and self-acceptance. I find it especially heartbreaking when he repeats "I'm not A Doctor, I am THE Doctor." No other iteration of the Doctor really dealt with what it must be like for a Time Lord to go through different faces, personalities--other *selves* while retaining the same set of memories. There's always some regeneration shenanigans for each Doctor, finding their outfit and their screwdriver and TARDIS decor, and then they move on to the adventures. But Twelve made an entire arc out of exploring who he is - as this particular incarnation as well as all incarnations combined - and coming to terms with it. I personally feel a visceral connection to how Series 9 depicts grief and trauma, the toll it takes on him and how close he comes to losing himself entirely. And at the end of his run there's a nice tie-in from 10 yelling "Where's my reward?" or 11's "the universe doesn't care" to 12's "...without witness, without reward." 12 goes from the Doctor who doesn't know if he's a good man, to the Doctor who knows that who he is where he stands and where he stands is where he falls. The Doctor who does what he does because it's who he is, not because he expects a reward.

Wow. Now I feel like I need to watch 12's run again... Never thought I'd say that. Since I've seen mostly comments about 11 but none about 10, I'd like to add my story: "My" doctor was 10. Objectively speaking, I will be the first to admit that 11 was more alien, perhaps the 'better' interpretation - but also more distant. 10, by contrast, just pulled me in. I remember that first scene, with Rose in the Tardis, where she is shaken by the regeneration she just witnessed, and he, eventually, leans his head to the side and smiles (I think that's when he decides to try to go to Barcelona?). At that moment, with that smile, my heart opened up for him. 10's very strong, very human emotions allowed me to connect to the character in a way no other version did. I felt like I'd be welcome in the Tardis, just as I am, with my own stormy emotions, and not be belittled for them. And the last couple episodes (specials), where he gets all dark and closes himself off, I felt that very personally. Rejecting the world that has, you feel, wronged you, and the people outside can see this is bad for you, but you yourself cannot. I felt that, even if I did not understand it at the time.

Though I didn’t quite connect like this (and I do see how it was like you for that, and it’s fantastic) I did think 12’s time in the TARDIS was an absolutely brilliant exploration of what the name “The Doctor” is meant to represent. Moffat really understood The Doctor on a fundamental level. See his speech about why the world will always need a hero like The Doctor to know what I’m saying. I know the “never cruel or cowardly” thing isn’t something everyone loves, but I find that Moffat was really able to explore what that meant with 12. I also think, looking back, that 12’s questioning of his identity might be why he latched onto Clara in such an obsessive way-it’s similar to how 9 and 10 never got over Rose. 11 is my favorite Doctor because he encapsulates the old soul in a young body so well and I’ve lived my life like that. Also he’s the most philosophical-and often most empathetic-Doctor and that really, really speaks to me. I tend to talk a lot, as you can probably tell, but I also tend to say intelligent things (for the most part) and I often at least present as fairly wise and well-spoken (whether or not I am is a different discussion). I’m general though, on the most fundamental level, a lot of his amazing speeches just connect to me.

Wow, this is such a beautiful take on the Twelfth Doctor's journey. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Capaldi's doctor means so muchto so many i adore him. S10 capaldi is my favorite doctor. The only 2 doctors whivh have even close to as good of an arc 12 has are 5 and 9

I grew up with Tennant, but Capaldi is my favourite doctor, I look forward to hearing your take ❤

I missed this when it came out, I think you hit on something really good. I had a moment when I had a break through at acknowledged myself (not just as non-binary but in the things I wanted to do in life and the approach I wanted to take) with the same realisation that Capaldi has; "I am... an idiot" - but not in a negative way.

He's 100% ace