ikr???

2020 is likely to be a very difficult census

The understatement of a lifetime.

I'm a census worker and people are completely miserable to me...

Yeah, aged like milk. I would put here a laughing emoji, it's just...

You guys give Starbucks your real name?

Except in Starbucks you can say your name is Zxlorbax IX and who can do anything about it?

@@Chipiliro613 and who can do anything about you saying the same to a census person?

"Drumpf" ...derp

@Ganiscol people still have those?

INERT impossible things actively awful for humanity delight trump

@INERT Doubling the fund for cancer research has a much higher chance of irritating Trump than defunding it.

Yeah, I call bullshit on that. Trump literally doesn't even know what the census does. I seriously doubt he cares who signs up for it, he's way too ignorant to keep track of that sort of thing

@INERT Well, Trump probably thinks the cancer research is the research on the star sign cancer!

INERT that’s not even close to the same thing

Hope everything is ok. 🙃

You good now bud? Hope things got better for ya internet stranger.

Almost surely a state website, not feds.

Good for you. I salute you.

Sorry u have to deal with Trump

Thank you for your service to our country!

Well I can’t understand why you wouldn’t open the door for Census workers! When it is so important for your future prosperity in your local society

You’re talking to people who will follow these media-types’ advice and undermine accountability for the sake of being propagandized. Good luck.

Now I'm disappointed too. Damn, what a missed opportunity that was.

People would've thought he was just some weird weeaboo doing cosplay. It was actually a bullet dodged.

@@ichijofestival2576 You think people in rural Minnesota know what a weeb is?

what isnt now, can get

Slow clap 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

"The original census, in 1790, asked just four questions: --The number of free white males aged: under 16 years and of 16 years and upward --Number of free white females --Number of other free persons --Number of slaves"

GO get ‘dem answers! And be safe! And do let us know how it went afterwards, cause wired is expected but fascinating is so much cooler.

How did it go?

Did you maintain the streaks?

... sent this to* me ...

Right!? Giving one person your name doesn’t take away the fact that by the time you’re 18 your information has definitely been shared amongst many government and private companies looking to make money off of you.

ok then why the fuck do i need to tell you if you already know what it is? fuck off im not telling the government shit because they dont care about anybody in poverty. the census is a fucking joke.

I think I found the Libertarian.

symbolic503 if there’s a miscount in your state, you can lose senate seats, that’s a big issue

Don’t forget probably every form of social media.

Are they even allowed to carry a gun? I wouldn't knock on anyone's door in the US without a gun. Bunch of bad asses those pensioners!

Be careful, those ladies... They love penetrate some butts without consent!

@@ilarious5729 Only government worker who are allowed to carry a firearm are the ones you'd expect. Police, Military, FBI and such. Every other government worker could be fired for having one on them during official business.

@@Glornak that makes sense, it would give a really bad look if the whole government was armed. but I'd maybe make an exemption for these guys. Well, rather no one having a gun but let's be honest, that's not gonna happen.

@@ilarious5729 Honestly i think a flashy badge and a panic GPS button would be most effective. Nobody would get violent once it became known the cops would be quick to respond. It'd be a federal crime after all so it's top of the list for police. Though that wouldn't do anything about the rude idiots who act like they're personal information is sacred.

I reckon every second episode of this show at minimum generates a lawsuit, actually. Why do you think HBO has its own legal team? Because it's a company standard to have your own law people on file? Nah, can't be that~

@@modothegreat108 Well, yeah, it is standard for any larger media company to have at least someone on retainer, if not an in-house legal team. But it is much funnier to think John is such a lawsuit magnet they basically need an in-house law firm.

@@djole94hns Yeah, that's the truth of it. But I do suspect John Oliver generates most of the HBO legal team's work.

@@modothegreat108 Yeah, I don't think drafting contracts for TV shows is as challenging as defending John from the barrage of lawsuits.

Well, at least any company or person who cares about PR will think twice about taking legal action against LWT after the magnificence of last Sunday.

That's the best possible way! Another one is musical!

Also a terrific episode of I Just Wanna Watch A Comedy Show and Go to Sleep But Now I'm Sad with Johnny Joy-Killer!

fsegsdrehge

Yes but they only use it to sell stuff to me and sell my information to others, like I'm a piece of meat, so others can sell me stuff as well, basically turning me into a money sponge, everyone can try me! Just because I gave one company access to my Information. It's not like they provide me with the infrastructure and security of a working state, making sure that the government I vote for represents me and mine correctly. It's the obvious choice to trust private companies over the Government. /s 🤦‍♂️

Shhh Libertarians don’t like it when governments does things, but are ok with it when corporations do it because capitalism, don’t question it

if you're stupid enough to provide correct information that is... Just because the sign up form says "Lastname" doesn't mean I put my last name there.

Uwe Schroeder That guy was definitely stupid enough to do it.

You don't need to give out personal information to have a KZfaq account.

Happens once every 10 years

Jonathan Stolow lmbo

Annabella Howard BINGO!!!

That explains it.

lmao

I’ve been waiting for him to use my name on a show! He’s always talking about that burnout Greg.

Yes, that was a great drawing =)

Bro it wasn't Susan who drew it, that's a portrait of Susan.

Just let me say this: I ♥ tacos

Yeah it was a great drawing

He didn't see covid comming

@@jmwloup5110 I think no one saw this coming. But Trump avoid counting some people using Covid as an excuse.

@Issac Oshen I couldn't agree more 😣

I don’t think anyone is surprised.

Chris Rogers 🤣🤣🤣

And that’s a fact, a Disney Fact

@@nicp9178 *insert mickey giggling here*

At least we can replay that while we wait for another season.

You are absolutely right and the value of information he spews is more than any mainstream media would ever accomplish.

Coffee Jesus Deportables? Oh, shit, I read that wrong and got my hopes up.

Oh boy! Even though people can agree to disagree about what Obama did in office in terms of policy, I think that asserting that the 2010 Census was an "Obama conspiracy" is a bit too far.

@@soccerruben1 fascist love them conspiracy theories

@Craig X ^There's one now!

@Craig X Your info is already out there for anyone to find. If you have an address and pay for internet, your info is out. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Well yes, elections are more secure with classical paper ballots. And also, the census would be easier to do if there was a national ID system where actually every citizen is recorded.

@@MrNacknime Now we just have to create a national ID system, which would be much better than what we have right now, but all attempts have been shot down in Congress so we still have to dig up 5-6 documents to prove that we are who we say we are.

@@TheTrainmobile It's sad honestly. Instead we have this broken social security system that just gets everyone's identity stolen because it's being used in a way it was never intended to be used.

This is the perfect summation of everything Donald Trump.

This man is such a joke.

I was definitely mildly interested

I was more than mildly interested!! Thank you!

I was especially looking for this comment, thanks for confirming. I heard the voice and thought : "Wait a minute..."

He was also the singer in a band called the Limelighters, who released a ton of folk albums. I grew up with their 1960 self titled album and their album "Through Children's Eyes". He and the rest of the Limelighters are my musical heroes, and I was delighted to see him in a John Oliver piece!

In the immortal words of the great philosopher Abraham Lincoln, "Be excellent to each other."

Its outdated all other Western countries Just has a permanent accirat register. With every citizen having a unique number...

@Agent Smith No, no, no! You learned the wrong lesson from WWII. It's not "don't trust the government", it's "don't let your government be coopted by hard-right militants". The people should be working hard, and in unison, to create a government worth trusting rather than viewing it as an alien institution.

Yep. What was it with these shitty people treating Census worker like that? Always taught by my parent to answer them politely, offers tea or other refreshment and some cookies. And small pleasantry never hurts. They are doing a nation's duty.

Agent Smith what the fuck

He'll be back by February

m m ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

I'm going to rewatch some old episodes for a few months, just to refresh my memory (and laugh while doing so.)

Me too whyyyyyy

@@jamesb4523 and cry too for the state of the world

_Oh no._

what a toilet seat falling down when no one is there to have done it? i agree that sounds terrifying!

wait, you have those too? are you me?

There is a pub near me where the Ladies has a stall with two toilets in it.

My issue with it is that if you answer you have 4 toilets, then the group one has to be one huge sharing toilet, not a bunch of normal ones. He said how many toilets, not how many bathrooms. I'm too used to Seth Meyers, John Oliver needs to start doing corrections

As someone who is not attracted in any way to speedos or hamsters, I can assure you that I would very much like doing it because photoshopping stupid shit is one of my Favorite Things.

awesomecat42 sure you’re not

I want to like this but your at 69 so

Makes me curious about the comments of that video,

there's a second wave of the MeToo movement coming - and this time the roles will be reversed!

Brofessor _ Remember, they can’t rape you if they don’t know your name!

@@margaritam.9118 Haha, exactly, if they only have your adress you are safe.

@@margaritam.9118 What if I give them a fake name?

Spite incredibly powerful. A guy I knew said I'd never get a job in Colorado. Out of spite I applied for 10 jobs that night, proceeded to get one of them, and moved to Colorado.

Spite is what makes me get up in the mornings.

@@typacsk Spite...Not Sprite.

@@Guppusmaximus Ah yes, Spite Cranberry

I quit heroin out of spite

They make 30 an hr

@@asadmatsumoto8911 No they do not. They make 16-23 dollars an hr

meevluv well they advertised 30

@@asadmatsumoto8911 if they meant "up to 30" that would be true. You would have to be a team leader so you'd be training others and driving ppl to take the census.

@@asadmatsumoto8911 No $22 in NY...

And that's a Disney fact!

Wait....He was in one?

@@enchainedtreasures he voiced the bird Zazu in the Lion King live action remake.

He was also Wax Sherlock Holmes on Gravity Falls. He's not getting hired for any cartoons either

enchainedtreasures zazu in lion king remake

I don’t want to like that, but I absolutely do

And he will count (on) you

Actually... He can count you?!

Census Man is my parent's neighbor!

:D

You talkin' about Ivanka?

friendly reminder that conservatives have always used any tactics, even racist, to suppress democratic processes kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bq1ydNZ33LbLnKs.html

Now I am just imagining the white house rising out of a swamp like the Legion of Doom

and then there's the racist pig cop's daughter outing her estranged father really is a racist pig and not just the pig butt of a Starbucks cup joke.

KendrixTermina if she was estranged she probably already knew

Because they would have to reform something and reformation... isnt as popular in some parts of the USA as you would believe

do you have any idea how many people would go absolutely shrieking batshit insane about that shit? the only people who have to tell the government where they go here is sex offenders, and on top of that association, there's a bunch of paranoid fucking nutjobs who hate the idea of any kind of registry.

@@birdn4t0r7 I don't. But I assume there would be plenty. Idk it's just normal for us. And you don't have any downsides really.

Wir haben trotzdem nen Zensus, 2021 dann wieder

Eehm... In Germany census is a thing too... And there is a huge stress on personal privacy regarding that

Libertarians are what happens when you take a conservative, feed them lead paint, have them do whipits and then kick them in the head.

Many libertarians actually think the Constitution is of no value because no living person has ratified it.

@@ericreese7792 or maybe because it was written by only white men at a pub getting wasted.

@@ericreese7792 that's a much better point than I've ever heard a libertarian make

Said no libertarian ever!

537monster correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t the Supreme Court rule the other year you can’t be held legally responsible for those contracts because they’re so impossibly long by design to ensure the majority of people won’t read them, therefore making them unable to hold up in court?

@@NinjaTyler don't know you heard that from but I haven't heard that. Sure they can't be used to sign away liability for dangerous acts but most other rights? why not!

NinjaTyler idk, I just like making fun of people who try to act superior just because they hate the government.

@@NinjaTyler sending you to arbitration now. Off you go. JK. I just read through almost all of The Walt Disney Company's updated terms of use since I had nothing else to do waiting on a live human. I believe 1 subscriber waited 8 hours, I ain't got that much time! The MDE app and Disney+ streaming service have tens of millions pissed. I believe that's why the humans must go(but their tech is shit since bringing in the INDIANS after forcing American employees who developed it to train before firing).

@@NinjaTyler Are you talking about something like a clipwrap contract? (Basically, the terms and conditions we click to use something online, like opening a YT account). True, there are certain conditions that those kinds of contracts have to have to be viable (not that they're that helpful to consumers, really), but the problem is also largely related to the service/item related to the contract. Many times, there is no alternative to those services/items, so people are going to click through the agreement regardless of whether they actually understand or truly agree with the contract terms. And those contracts would still be completely viable. Consider this: nearly *EVERY* social media account contains a clickwrap contract to access. There are practically no alternative sm sites that allow accounts/usage without one. So what can you do? Just not use sm at all? It's the same situation with practically every new piece of technology too, including cellphones. You either have to agree to the contract to use the item or just not use it at all, and considering how many people have sm accounts and cellphones, most choose the former option.

GO TO YOUR ROOM!

3% unemployment. they CAN'T find enough people to do the census.

it's up to $23 where i am

would totally do it, honestly. sounds like fun, I'm not even kidding. would be a cool way to meet people

bkLEGION3000 What a difference 5 months makes

it's fun to compute

Ah. ...kraftwerk, classical

Ah, yes a wild Kraftwerk reference

The Kraftwerk musical

Satoshi Kon's Dreaming Machine

It's a good one.

He's been doing it for years and its hilarious

It would be really epic if their TV appearance, after years out of show biz, was on Last Week.

Yes... only one of them is lying, cause the other one genuinely believes that there are two of them.

There are a few theories from being triples to the one that is basically the other twin is like vacation at Bernie's

Or maybe it's a woman going home to tell her husband about her day. #DesigningWomen, #Feminism 🤭

@@eileene.5870 Or maybe its a woman going home and telling her wife about her day. #LGBTQ #LesbianDesigners 🤭

@@mrjack08722 Or maybe it's a hamster going home to tell their spouse. #RodentRights #HamsterDesigners

@@Typheus Shiiieeet right. Sorry for being so human centric.

Or is it a more suspicious way of saying, “My kids aren’t alive anymore”?

@@matrixphijr It could be, but I'm hoping it was just a Freudian slip

She was just chuckling at the fact that someone actually thought she was capable of giving birth at her age. Or she thought it funny that someone would think she had babies when her two sons are old.

i think its weirder that the interviewer assumed that someone, when asked who is in there family, would have a cut off for infants. as if babies are too young to be considered part of a family.

Exactly. The whole thing was weird, not just the woman's response.

Thats cause every other country does this except for poor underdeveloped countries

Hes an American citizen now

@@cokemanjake6284 Thank you. John Oliver became a citizen in 2015. James Corden (British) and Trevor Noah (South African) also speak out for American engagement in our best interests. Don't recall them speaking on the Census yet--but they will. :-)

Well, he's an American citizen now. He's roped into this mess with the rest of us.

He's an American citizen.

friendly reminder that conservatives have always used any tactics, even racist, to suppress democratic processes kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bq1ydNZ33LbLnKs.html

@@joshuacox534 That is demonstrably false in every way.

@@joeblank9495 yea

@@joeblank9495 lol it isn't and its proven that Republicans do everything in their power to protect electoral college, disenfranchise black and latino voters, make it as difficult as possible to vote for people who are poor, which btw, people of colour disproportionately are Taking voting rights away from felons and then locking up black people for stuff that whites just pay a fine for is also a form of controlling who wins the election

Malgorzata S. And letting non-citizens vote and resurrecting people from the grave is also a way to influence elections.

Census workers are not medical workers and so are not covered by the Geneva convention nor U.S. law. ICE can pose as census workers while arresting people.

@@orlock20 Wow--I didn't know that. I certainly wouldn't put it past this administration.

yeah... i can’t believe they neglected the vast spanish-only speaking Last Week Tonight audience. 🙄

@XDigsX 13 They CANNOT use any census information. That is STRICTLY illegal. So EVERYONE should fill out the census otherwise the administration gets what they always wanted more political power by increasing Republican voting power.

@Luís Filipe Andrade I wasn't talking about illegal residents. I was referring to legal citizens of Latin heritage. Those people are afraid of the Census and they shouldn't be, but they are because we have a government willing to break laws and punish non-whites.

I think Trump was thinking of home insurance lol

@@damystery123 Trump and thinking are two words that shouldn't really ever appear in the same sentence together. ;o)

Chris Boyd Apply ice directly to hot burn

I work in state conservation asset management and even we don’t do that. (But we can tell by just looking). Also we don’t walk up to people’s houses cause that’s notoriously a great way to get shot. Seriously, Mail carriers and census workers 👏DO 👏NOT 👏GET 👏PAID👏ENOUGH 👏

Lol

He's not wrong. Anytime Trump talks about anything, there is usually a lot of bs to unpack.

@@elijahcanning3020 Pretty much. He says such insane things that it's difficult to even know where to begin. First, you have to determine what the hell he's talking about, which is usually 3 to 5 different topics per sentence. Then you need to discern how he got from one subject to another, which requires a bulletin board and a quarter mile of red string. Once you've established that, you have to lay out all the details he got wrong or misconstrued. Then, you need to figure out where he got his delusional conspiracy theory "information" from, which is usually Sean Hannity. When the president talks, he's literally just some guy trying to remember what he heard on Hannity last night so he can give you the gist. This is a man with access to the highest level intelligence reports, and he trusts Sean Hannity more.

7 of 4 I pretty much watch all these talk shows on a daily basis and, out of all of them, John Oliver talks about him the least.

@Penny Benson He really do be like that tbh

It probably reflects pretty good on your state if the rest of us never hear about you

Kosak Grabovsky ahh yes an honest and understandable mistake

He was referring to the tax guy who used to come into our homes and see what we had. I read something about that once. As usual trump Is confused. lol

@@janea5898 tax or property insurance agent.

I would consider your opinion valid, if you didn't have an anime profile pic

IcantSeeReplies why the illegals still pay taxes a lot of times. Not to mention it’s important to track population growth for future planning of infrastructure such as roads and sewer. If you undersize a sewer because you think population growth is 2% when it’s really 8% you’re going to have a bad time

Same here. In 2010, I do not recall getting a census to fill out

You don't count

Each household gets a census. If you were living with parents, roommate(s), spouse(s)/significant other, children, it only takes 1 person to fill out the form for that location. Think back to the years ending in 9/0-who were you living with?

Are zou POC? If yes, that would explain why they didn't bother.

@@pamelacass9642 I've lived on my own since 2002, until I moved in with my wife 7 years ago. Never received anything in the mail, not even in the last 4 years I've been married. Wife confirms she hasn't filled out a census ever, either.

Damn it, I was gonna make a penguin joke

Disney fact?

@@JOMFSE *AHA AHA*

@@JOMFSE yes Disney Fact

@@JOMFSE OP EDIT, QUICK!

I mean, to be honest, he probably only has read the 2nd amendment.

@@FirstnameLastname-bh9qs Eh don't be so sure. He probably didn't even read that one, just heard it from someone else.

he is a libertarian nut job so no he has never read the constitution ever.

You think they actually read anything? For those kinds of people the US Constitution isn't a written document but an abstract philosophical imperative for the individual to do as they will while forbidding any entity not powerful enough as an individual to resist to form a group to oppose them. With the law typically existing as some kind of paradox.

The only version Trump read was on a Denny's kids menu!!😨

If Your teacher is showing you HBO it's time to stop paying for college.

Ouch, man. Very ouch.

Disney Fact.

It's funny after Citizens United ruling the efforts to divide us went into overdrive.

@Drew Taylor the 14th Amendment???? The one that gives us citizenship at birth??

Coming on the heels, last week, of his song making a joke about furries fucking animals (which, again, is not true, that's zoophiles), this is especially amusing.

@@roguishpaladin You've done some research of your own it seems.

Never thought I'd hear anyone say that.

Courage Karnga The internet does that.

@@roguishpaladin You didn't get that part in his song. Bob Murray claimed that a giant squirrel (obviously a guy in a suit, a "furry") told him to eat shit. So he tries to fuck with the squirrel (Mr. Nutter Butter) by suing them.

Because they're Americans

For the same reason why they freak out about a citizenship question. A population count in muddy waters benefits a certain party which traffics illegal voters around the states.

Even with a registry you still need a census.

We are trying to make sure that we can provide neccessary services to everyone living in our country, and have an enormous number of people who do not wish for the government to be aware of their presence. Your system would provide for legal citizens, but leave out others who will be both needing, and claiming basic services.

@@tally1604 why? The number of illegal immigrants can't that high in relation to the populations total.

that's a disney fact right there

Absolutely, and underneath the introduction's levity, the money quote about redistricting @13:13 is the real payload and not-so-hidden intent.

I felt the exact opposite way

Wasnt one of my favorite episodes to be honest. Then again, i dont judge on single episodes, since each topic may require its own kind of humor. Some are easier, others harder, some speak more to some, others to others. Over the course of the last couple episodes i did neither see an increase or decrease in comedy value. Which, in my books, is a good thing.

@@alexsilva28 I'm a Vegan ...

It's also funny when you found that Susan's penmanship is good enough to look like Jack Skellington is creeping about that they make a joke about it.

Left-handed people.

Isn't being an illegal immigrant also against the law?

As an appraiser for tax purposes yes we would like to know how many toilets you have.

As an appraiser yes we would like to know how many toilets you have.

The american community survey which is done by the census bureau asks all those questions. It asks if you have running water, toilets, how much money you make, how much your utility bills are all kinds of personal questions. I never knew this until I was randomly selected to do it and ignored it because I knew the census was not till 2020 and a worker showed up to ask all thoose questions.

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

For him, just EVERYTHING is about real estate.

To be fair, the government has guns and political power. Corporations only have as much influence as they're voluntarily given. Still, sovereign citizens are probably the type to use linux and duckduckgo.

@@owlblocksdavid4955 I mean first off those corporations hand all of that power over to the government, that's what the Snowden leaks revealed and secondly they have plenty of power and thirdly sovereign citizens are usually not very tech savvy. Which is why they will record a video of them denying to answer the census on a digital device which will put the date and possibly location of the film into the file itself and then upload said file to KZfaq which definitely saves those things and all of the activity of your account. Also the corporations can and often do influence the government so the corporations don't need the guns and they definitely have political power, that's what lobbying is.

@@hedgehog3180 Corporations have the cash to do whatever they want. They buy politicians, they write the bills that become law. Everyone should search ALEC, very scary. Muricans are getting too stupid to run their own country and that's by design. We are being bread and circused, entertained for control.

@@owlblocksdavid4955 When this is your perspective on how the world actually works, I can only assume this is the very first time ever you have watched a Last Week Tonight video. Or used common sense.

@JM Rodriguez-Luis I think the more important question is: who has conversations about Tupperware? (Just trying to see if utube is going to try and keep my leftovers fresh the next few days.)

Libertarians are the adult equivalent of a child who doesn't understand why he has to go to bed, except that they're not fucking children and should know better.

​@chez421 Waaaah! All regulations are *stupid* because I don't undertand what they're for 😭😭😭

zi don't get wack jobs like him ether.

Not this government.

Lol in our surveillance state, they already know who and where we are anyway.

Brandon Davidson Is it bad I took the time to count all the toilets in my house after John said that

@@mechanicpluto2430 so how much?

Fabian Balderas Surprisingly 4

@@mechanicpluto2430 XD

But...how do you find ALL OF THEM on one day?

@PragaMaterUrbium People in the U.S. don't want poor people to get IDs because they would have to show their ID to vote.

I work in a Census Office. Our enumerators are some of the most passionate people I've met. Such a pleasure. Thank you for having done this in the past.

Like a psycho doctor from Baltimore😏.

Yes we do lol. Never know what you will run across each day.

As someone who worked the 1990 census, truer words cannot be said.

I was lucky. I had quite a few people slam the door in my face, but at least nobody shot at me or tried to throw gasoline on me, which happened to another census taker in the district I was in.

Or a coked out mouse.

One wonders if someone in the white house is trolling him... Like "Let's see if we can get him to believe this shit.... $20... Who's gonna take it... Come on, $20???" It must be a wind up .

I think Trump was confusing his home insurance representative with a census worker lol

😏🍺oh yes

Good enough reason for me!

@@rejoyce318 Yeap...

Just do it because you're in America!!!

@@johnstamos4186 Nah, I'll do it because it'll irritate Trump.

While there are lots of crimes, I wouldn't call any of them perfect

Lm

YOLO

I guess that depends on how your area allocates housing / other funds. Filling out the census will make it more likely your area has the funds to do so.

I would seriously love to have a bidet!

I'm working on cloning!

John Oliver, king of trolls!

Bold of us to assume he’s mortal.

Bob Murrayy........ where are youuuu?

Curtis Study says rapists are usually ones whom victim is familiar with 😂😂😂 This guy probably thinks Starbucks baristas try to rape him, too

@@margaritam.9118 See! People who know the victim! Once she learns his name, she knows him! He's on to her!

@@comradegarrett1202 And after that, all she needs to know is how many toilets he has!!!

😂😂😂 if only that was her response! I'm already laughing to the point of crying! That would've straight up made me piss myself! 😂😂😂

'news stories' likely being pure, unadulterated bullshit from his favorite right-wing fringe site.

michelle andrijich what's the return rate?

@@xiamrm about 95%

Ah, American education!

*mean

Thought pretty much all American culture was based on lack of education?

The word doesn’t think? Incredible observation there Tim.

@@timmtheilig6827 20th Century Eugenics also wants to reclaim their ideology.

He doesn’t care to understand.

That scheme should tell you he DOES understand! Guys, why are you still underestimating him?

Let's maybe not make reality TV stars world leaders, eh?

are you really

Veavictis Asmadi you don’t need to understand something to destroy it.

"Three Mr. President" -Me, a citizen loyal to his nation and willing to provide necessary information to the proper authorities. Truly I am a warrior of shit.

@@julymagnus493 wrong. The answer is 4.

@@Scnottaken the correct answer is 4. the heretical answer is 3.

I heard on good authority that he got inspired by Snow white, you know "Census, census on the wall, do I have the most golden toilet of them all?"

That is definitely a very "important" thing to know

It was kind of nostalgic. Didn't expect that.

One of my favorite running gags.

spacecore94 what joke? All I heard was a man exposing the truth about the biggest coverup since Watergate.

Someday he'll make them confess!

Courage Karnga make *her* confess, you mean.

If your under 18 and have a job then your getting taxed without being able to vote. Taxation without representation

@Arwyn No more military?

Arwyn how so?

General JellyRoll if you’re under 18 you are an idiot and the rest of us all agreed (and we all at some point were under 18) that you should not be allowed that power.

this is the exact kind of comment you expect on a LastWeekTonight video

Bouncing here and there and everywhere!

My gummies aren't assorted. They all taste like Scotch. Cheap scotch. No quality stuff here. My house was built during the bush administration and if you know houses, you know that's.... Not great.

Thanks for the info my dude

Or tell them what it is made of using only the scientific names for everything.

"(when)... I got a paper cut from a radioactive census form, giving me all the powers of a census."

...my parents were murdered and raped ( in that order) by a loon with a camera.

I thought it was in Florida. Am I the only one who thought that?

@Bigfoot Self Important people with cameras. That's who made Census Man. that was his mother in that clip we saw.

What's a hard drive, precious? Oh. You meant HDD. Right, a zip drive is not a hard disk drive. It's not really an FDD, either. Flash wasn't a thing yet (and let's face it, she won't be impressed with your "data rate"). We'll just have to call it a "senior citizen with a stripper" drive. It wants to be hard, but the damn thing won't work.