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“Watching Adam Sandler movies” Her biggest sacrifice

cool girl are basically literally just considered pretty tomboys Edit: thanks for the likes

Tbh Elle Woods in Legally Blonde is one of my fave characters bc she remains true to herself in her femininity but she learns to stand up for herself and finds her own ambition and doesn’t depend on a man for her happiness.

In the comments many wrote that the cool girl fantasy might be an outcome of men suppressing their homosexual tendencies. But I have a different approach. I think they want to get a girl without improving themselves, learn about new topics, get out of their comfort zone and develop an equal perspective to humankind.

“I’m not like other girls. I like chicken nuggets and play video games”

I told my guy friends that telling a girl she’s “different than other girls” is not a compliment and they literally could not comprehend why.

It's so funny when they say shit like "I cannot believe you read comic books" Yeah, it's almost as if girls are human beings with interests.

Wendy from Gravity Falls is a cool girl that appeals to women and girls, in my opinion. She's empowering, confident, and is not afraid to stand up for herself, especially to guys when they've done something wrong.

I'm a cool mom. I go on alcohol benders and forget to feed my kids.

“I’m not like other girls.” Me: *Wow that sucks, girls are so awesome.*

internalized misogyny is very true. i remember a few years back when i directly associated "feminine" to "bitchy", and disliked very feminine girls for that reason, and participated in slutshaming. We get taught so many misognist ways of thinking as we grow up. We all wake up at different times. And some never wake up

Interesting, that the "cool girl" became the "I'm not like other girls" then became the "pick-me girl". I still have a problem feeling overly feminine or girly. I still want, above all, to play videogames and watch dark movies and hang out with guys. But I don't look like what they expect me to look like. I ain't no Jennifer Laerence or Megan Fox lol

Part of the problem is also the, "I prefer a woman who can eat a whole burger for breakfast" and, "I hate it when girls wear makeup" type guys who treat women who are more feminine as somehow inferior.

"I never wore pink" that horrid line sums it up

i like how in HIMYM, robin’s identity as the not-clingy “cool girl” is eventually what turns guys off in most of her relationships. it shows how men might like a girl who’s cool and independent and has more masculine interests, as long as he can have the more dominant role in the relationship. even if HIMYM starts out with robin as a smooth, dream-like cool girl, we really see her dorky, emotional and more flawed sides in later seasons and that’s rly good of the writers (ofc they ruined it in the finale....)

I was the ‘cool girl’ in my 20’s. It was all a lie; I AM inherently a tomboy and have a lot of what’s generally considered ‘masculine’ interests. But I acted like I didn’t want a relationship or anything serious because I wanted to be the ‘catch’, I also hid a lot of my own ‘nerdy’ interests to not come across as weird. All this while simultaneously wanting to guard myself when these men ultimately decided we were ‘better off friends’. “Yeah, no, no, that’s cool, I was actually thinking the same thing, you know…” As far as me not wanting anything long-term, nothing was further from the truth. I wanted love, but groveled to make myself more appealing. And do you know who you end up with when you lower yourself or do the whole ‘pick me!’ schtick to find companionship? Assholes and narcissists. Not the ‘we didn’t work out so he’s terrible’ labeled narcissists. Genuine narcissists that expect you to shrink as they grow and for you to reflect their likeness. Luckily, I met my husband and he saw me for who I really am. He helped tear down those walls I’d built up and allows me complete emotional access when I’m feeling vulnerable, instead of me having to bottle it up and openly mock myself for *feeling*. He WANTS me to talk about MY interests, teach him different things, and I reciprocate that. That is what I was looking for while reducing myself needlessly for idiots. Ladies, REAL men are out there, not just dude bros that essentially want one of their homies in a woman’s body so they don’t have to put in any romantic work. Honestly be your true self; you don’t want a half-vested partner that thinks your inability to consume cold pizza and game 6 hours a day, is a flaw. Because you know what? Fuck them; I AM cool. And yes, I do like football, but I don’t feel the need to wear a football jersey five days a week to prove it now.

“Just because some cute girl likes all the same bizarro crap you do... that doesn't make her your soulmate." - One of the best lines from 500 Days of Summer

Im not like other girls... I’m Joseph Stalin.

I just love the poetic justice. Amy was sick of pretending to be the cool girl that Nick liked. Besides, he cheated on her anyway. So, in the end she forces him to be the guy that she wants.

men: 'she's so hot she is just like a guy' me: just date a guy you coward

“I want you to be a size 0 but also eat pizza everyday, never go to the gym and don’t care about your health at all”. Sure, fam.

"The man's ideal girl is a girl that doesn't make him try hard" WOOF truer words have never been spoken

I’ve always wondered about how I don’t act “feminine “ but never fit in in those cool girl tropes. Im neither of them and It should be normal because we’re individuals who doesn’t have to completely fit in the stereotypes men made

In my personal opinion, a cool girl isn't what Hollywood plays her out to be. She's a girl who doesn't worry about what other people, including boys, think of her, says & does what she enjoys she likes without a care. That's what a cool girl should be depicted as.

men be like wow i've never met a girl who listens to music before

"SHES ONLY COOL SO LONG AS SHES COMFORTING NOT CHALLENGING TO MEN"

cool girl is only cool until she’s better or smarter than him, in front of others 😂

I think the anime Nana does an excellent job of portraying the cool girl and girly girl trope. Our two main characters are representative of each trope respectively but the show doesn’t try to elevate one girl over another. Instead, the show portrays the dynamic between the two and we follow them as they grow into best friends and deal with relationships and challenges. They may look and act differently but they deal with the same problems.

Cool Girl is the frat boy's version of the manic pixie dream girl

“I cant believe you read comic books, i mean youre a girl” yea I’m not like other girls, i can read. Most women are literally phisically unable to read comic books but not me!! Im such a cool girl

When I was in my twenties I used to be a DJ at parties, and the guys that dated me really expected me to be that trope for some reason. but every time we had a minor disagreement they were shocked to find I was a person with expectations and opinions, not a moving sexual fantasy. I wish I had this video back then because it felt so alone and hard to put into words.

6:15 Actually I feel like Scarlett Johannson’s portrayal of Black Widow was somewhat of a subversion of the cool girl trope. Yes she’s considered beautiful by the male (and some female) characters and displays other “cool girl” tropes but despite that she manages to maintain completely platonic relations with her male coworkers. This is especially noted with Clint Barton whom is considered her best friend. In fact in Winter Soldier, Natasha is seen wearing a necklace in the shape of an arrow. This was noted by the directors to have been a gift given to here by Clint as a token of their friendship. And keep in mind that Clint is a MARRIED man with a wife who knows of their friendship and has allowed this woman to be an honorary aunt to her three children. Now you might be wondering how this is a “subversion”. It’s a subversion because I find that saying woman can’t display (traditionally) masculine characteristics is in of itself unrealistic and would be very limiting in writing a character. Woman can know how to fight. Woman can drink beer. Woman AND men can have completely platonic relations with one another. It’s not like she hasn’t also shown (traditional) feminine traits as well. In Winter Soldier she’s constantly trying to play matchmaker for Steve and other women she tries to set him up with. In Age of Ultron her and Clint have a conversations regarding decorating in the Barton household, etc. Her backstory and job are certainly fantastical, but as a woman, she’s not a “cool girl.”

Basically: Men want to date themselves

"The cool girl doesn't get angry." SO true! And when a girl does get angry, she's labelled as "crazy." Not entitled to her emotions, as all humans should be, but "crazy."

I HAVE ALWAYS loved pink and have been ultra feminine, I STILL DO love pink and is still ultra feminine and WILL ALWAYS love pink and be ultra feminine💗✨🌸💅🛍🍒 so kudos to all my girls who have supposedly gone through this phase. I couldn't be the "cool girl/tomboy" even if my life depended on it or if I tried.

Everyone just stop scrutinizing women for the way they act, talk, dress, look, and wear. This trope is worth analyzing when it's on screen, because it represents our own cultural standards and our perception of different people (and are often written by men). But real people like Jennifer Lawrence or Chrissy Teigen are not "tropes" or written characters to represent something; that's just their personalities.

cool girl monologue points out how you can spend your whole life being a man's ideal and he'll still cheat on you

Personally, after spending my pre-teen and early teen years "not being like other girls" (being a nerd and being into martial arts) I understood that thinking those things made me better than other girls and to be so comfortable mocking traditionally feminine things, was deeply misogynistic, and so now in my young adult stage I embrace that being openly feminine and liking traditionally feminine things, doesnt make me less serious or less valid as a person, I embrace my tomboy-ish persona as much as I embrace my girly persona, and both make a duality that truly makes me happy, and I have found boys who hate that I'm feminine as much as I have found men who hate I act "like a man", and well, who cares when you are performing the real you?

To be fair, Robin from HIMYM was raised that way. We see that she would have prefered being a normal girl than basically a boy. She moved with her mom and could finally express her feminine side. In the last season, Lily tried to organize a hen party for her, but she didn't have female friends. Because she _didn't know_ how to appeal to women

The first time I read the Cool girl monologue in Gone Girl it blew my mind , I had just gone through a break up and had No Idea what had happened and then so many things about how I acted based on what I thought he expected of me just clicked, that sh!t is harmful and I'm glad we're evolving past it

“Don’t be too fat, or too thin, or too dark, or too light. Don’t be too sexual, or too chaste, or too clever, or too stupid. Do all this while looking devastatingly beautiful, but don’t harbour any traditional feminine qualities. Be yourself, but make sure you fit in.” Gosh, it’s exhausting!

Guys use to think I was "a cool girl" when I worked at a gun shop. I never had the heart to tell them that I'm not actually all that into guns and I like to wear dresses and do embroidery in my free time and also I'm a lesbian.

Also, I went to film school. TRUST me when I say the men writing these movies truly have the gall to create these tropes. What was worse was seeing all of the insecure film nerds date the dancers at my school and treat them like garbage. And then go on to become these writers and directors in the film industry with an extremely warped perspective and continue to perpetuate the "Cool Girl" or "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" tropes

Whats with guys who barely put effort into themselves always being the most picky about girls Also they don't want a "cool laid back girl who never gets angry" they don't wanna face the consequences of their actions

Cool girl trope - not available in plus size.

When you’re objectively attractive, being unkempt and messy gives you character and seems more like an aesthetic choice (baggy clothes, messy hair, etc.) When you’re not as attractive, those same qualities are regarded as laziness and failure to practice basic hygiene.

liking some of the things that “cool girls” like isn’t bad, it’s bad when you make your whole personality trait.

this video felt like therapy

EVERY girl goes through "I'm not like other girls" phase. Only later you understand that all girls (and people in general) are different in their own way. Good video.

I tried hard to be cool girl when I was a teen, I missed the “hot” part though so it didn’t work out 😂😂

Okay I see what the problem is, but at the same time loving things typically “manly” or being a tomboy is not a bad thing since personalities, hobbies etc don’t have a gender. I’ve always been a bit tomboyish so I usually relate with these type of female characters. The problem ofc is the male gaze in general

I will say this for Lily from Black Swan, she spends most of her screen time genuinely trying to befriend another woman who is too hard on herself, all the while giving Nina much needed advice for how to let herself be imperfect and not be under the boot of people like Leroy and her mother.

The least realistic thing about Mary is that she likes someone who chews with their mouth open

The whole “not like other girls” thing is stupid. There’s nothing wrong with women expressing femininity, likewise, there’s nothing wrong with women expressing masculinity. The same goes for men, they should be able to express masculinity and femininity however they want. We should all be able to be what ever we want to be regardless of the social norms that we never asked for.

I know cool girls, and men do fawn over them but don’t actually value their humanity and eventually lose their patience with them when they realize they have real human female emotions.

This just made me realize something. I grew up as a tomboy (due to internalized misogyny) and I still am (I try to be more open-minded toward girly things though). Sometimes when guys find out I'm into manga and video games, they act like it's so unique (for girls...) and say they want to date someone like me and that's just a huge turn off to me. I always felt like they don't actually acknowledge who I am, they just project a fantasy onto me and expect me to perform. I love video games and manga but I hate talking to men about it because they will just annoy me.

More evidence as to why Legaly Blonde is the best movie

“You are not like other girls” something my gyno told me when she saw in an ultrasound I’ve got an inverse uterus, only 20% of women have if like that, Christ.

Sometimes I think the problem is not media depictions, but the way we always establish everything we see on media as the ultimate "standard". Why can't we just separate the fictional things we see on media and things that we have in real life?

When I was in high school I was trying so hard to not be “like other girls”. It’s only a few years ago that I realised how misogynistic that was and that I was only doing it to please men. I’m happy I realised that and grew out of it. You’re going to get criticised if you try to be the cool girl and appeal to men, you’re going to get criticised if you detach yourself from that. So if you get criticism either way, why not do whatever the hell you want.

A cool girl should be: Someone that is nice to people That is all.

It’s only cool that a girl like food when she’s extremely hot and thin.

While I wasn't aware of it at the time, I spent my entire teen years betraying myself in the hopes of being the "cool girl" to the point where I couldn't even decipher who I really was, or what I actually liked and wanted to be. It's devastating to look back on but I just hope that by shining light on the ridiculousness of this trope, other young girls/women wont fall into this unattainable trap.

Oh and the title character from Daphne Du Murier's Rebecca seems to me to be the earliest example of the 'Cool girl' (she is implied to have been 'not like other girls', having the 'spirit of a boy', doing what she wants, actually being quite masculine but in a beautiful feminine woman's body, and not caring about anything) but actually being evil and pretending implying again that the cool girl is all an act, and is put up against the second Mrs De Winter who is the ultimate uncool girl.

Another characteristic of the cool girl is that she is somehow only attracted to extremely mediocre men, i.e. the protagonists. Funny how that is.

It’s just annoying that people don’t accept women as multifaceted beings. You always have to be in a box. You can drink beer and obsess about makeup at the same time. You can rock out to Mandy Moore and watch football at the same time. Women are just as complex as people expect men to be.

I really wish I would have watched this video as a kid. It would have saved me so much heartache

I don't understand how we know both Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lawrence were performing a personality. How do we know they're both inauthentic?

it’s actually crazy how many girls have gone through the “tom-boy hating pink and all things girly” phase

The gone girl monologue is soo iconic I remember being absolutely shook the first time I saw it. Completely blew the cool girl trope apart and changed cinema in my opinion

Women need to just be themselves and demand more. The moment we stop settling by being others' expectations, we lose all of our own expectations and become miserable or divorced. It's time to just be ourselves from the beginning and expect people to be okay with that because you won't settle for the ones that aren't. Trust me, you'll be surprised how it works.

I spent many years of my life trying to be this "cool girl". Now I'm happy because I'm finally showing my real me without thinking I'm boring :D

men just need to realize they wanna date their bros

I believe a lot of women went through the "I'm not like other girls" phase and thought we were being feminists, standing up for girl power and stuff. It took me a while to understand that's not feminist at all, it's actually misogynist.

I actually reject Megan Foxs character in transformers being characterised as a cool girl. She has these interests, but these are her things and in the scene shown in the opening she actually talks about how not liking her more extensive skill set is a phenomenon with guys she dates.

A lot of people are comparing the Cool Girl to the Tomboy Trope. And while they may be similar in some ways, I don’t think The Cool Girl is the same as a tomboy, considering the Cool Girl is a lot more feminine while the Tomboy is a lot more masculine. And also including the fact there are entirely different videos on the two. If you want to know the major difference between the two, I’d suggest watching “Tomboys Explained” by Professor Lando

“I wanna date a girl who’s like one of the guys” don’t be a coward, just date one of the guys!

Mila Kunis has made a whole career playing cool girls. Edit: I'm not saying that's all that she's good for, just that's where she now makes the big bucks.

“None of these things matter unless the girl is supremely beautiful”. THIS.

ok, so I watched Gone Girl the other day and was pretty much blown away, but I do have to admit that the thing that got me was more-so the story, and the overall narrative about relationships in general. I don't think I ever got to reason as much the direction of the cool girl trope as after the end of this video. this was eye-opening and humbling. Thanks!

aw anne hathaway saying "it came true" while looking at her award is so pure :( why would people dislike her, she's genuinely a sweetheart without trying to be everyones favourite

they want a cool girl who doesn’t just “order a salad” but then if a fat woman loves food everyone’s a doctor 😐😐

@12:08: Indeed, if a woman should be praised for being "not like other girls", a man should therefore be praised for being "not like other guys".

I don't think it's exactly fair to claim that every single girl ever that could fall into these personality traits is faking it

Cara Delevigne was also “ a cool girl”. In a world of femenine models she was the “ fun bit awkward but still gorgeous exception ”, playing videogames and eating a whole pizza before Victotia’s secret fashion show while other girls starve themselves and did a lot of work out, but of course still being skinny and perfectly beautiful for the show. Adding that she is bisexual and man have fetishized so much lesbian relationships , became her the complete male fantasy. It was after she cut her hair, took a feminist speech and started to look and being less of a perfect woman for man that she became her true self

You forgot to mention how when Megan Fox tried to have a voice outside of the "Cool Girl" trope and show agency within her own life was fired from her film series for being too "controversial". What Hollywood did to her was an atrocity.

"The cool girl" also has femininity. A girl can like sports, muscle cars, and comics and still be feminine.

At this stage I don't even know who I really am

Anne Hathaway was wronged. She didn't deserve all that hate.

I think that the cool girl is a way for guys to visually get what they want while simultaneously putting in minimal effort because the cool girl is down for whatever.

Guys invented "cool girls who are their bro" Girls invented "romantic guys who prioritize them all time" But i personally think rom-coms are gradually improving

Human beings are complex. You cannot label someone as "the cool girl" or "the good girl" or even "the bad boy" and expect them to fit that label fully and display all the characteristics. People dont work like that

When a guy tells you you’re not like other girls he’s basically saying he thinks very small of women, and you fall into the less intimidating, liberal, strong woman, he’s afraid of. He’s not worth it then. Just run sis.

I remember seeing Megan Fox's character in Transformers and just LAUGHING out loud at how painfully unreal her character was. She wasn't even an attempt at a real person. She was just a conglomeration of male insecurities come to life. IRL, I've noticed that plenty of guys HATE girls who share their interests because they 1) assume the girls are putting it on to get male attention, and 2) can't reconcile being attracted to someone who might actually challenge them.

You can't even imagine how much this video has changed my perspective

Ok, i understand that this hot girl with traditionally male interests pops up as a male fantasy in films and literature BUT, calling this out as a female personality invented by men means that everytime a woman strays from the traditional female personality pattern we can now turn around and say: look at her, she's being fake, she's pretending to be someone she's not just to please men. And that is problematic on a whole other level!

It’s so interesting because Jennifer Lawrence started to come across as annoying at the same time Anne Hathaway was “redeemed”

The “cool girl” is evolving into “relatable, funny person”

Brilliant analysis, thank you! This is fascinating and reflects alot of experiences in my own life