I literally just learned how to care about myself and set boundaries without feeling guilty!! So wild. My life has completely shifted because of this. Thanks for the reminders ✨

So accurate! While doing an EFT session a month or so ago I realized my 15+ years of chronic pain & headaches has been my way of asserting boundaries for opting out of things I didn’t want to do but didn’t feel I could overtly state. I always needed a lot of personal space as a kid but never got it. My boundaries were always violated & I was always being told what to do EXCEPT when I was sick. Then I was given space, which is what I really wanted.

Your ability to use words to describe covert patterns and shine light on them by exposing them from the dark is a true gift.

I don't really want a career and I only work as many hours as absolutely required for my own survival. I find ways to avoid taking on too many jobs and responsibilities because what I really want is to live a part of my childhood stage where I felt like I'd missed out on the opportunity to be myself, with no expectations and be taken care of simply for existing. It is quite scary to know this about myself because it causes me to worry about how to support myself. I really just want to spend my life in play, so that I can bring wholeness and healing to the inner child aspect. Lately I have been focusing MAINLY on play and less on "work" and I feel like my inner guidance is actually informing me that I will actually make more money once I really embrace my need to play and fill my days with fun.

”If something doesn’t change, or you can’t make something happen no matter how hard you try, it means you are up against resistance. And that resistance is there for a very important reason. In fact, you’re up against two layers of resistance. 1. Your resistance to making the change/doing a certain thing or being a certain way because it opposes your personal truth (boundaries). 2. Your resistance to seeing the truth about yourself/ being honest with yourself and others about that truth you don’t want to see. Because this is the case, you must deal with this resistance and work to resolve it”. Teal. Thank you Teal 🌎

Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/the-covert-boundary-pattern-r534/

Man, this was a good one. That first example really hit home. My single mother was adamant that I be independent and belittled femininity, but I have always wanted to be a homemaker. I took got myself into a leadership position but feel very insincere about it even when I do an ostensibly good job because I'd rather not be expected to make money on top of caregiving and housework. I have let my body atrophy in order to get my husband to take on more gendered responsibilities because I felt like I would have to do everything if I didn't have some weakness preventing it. I'm overt about my desire now but still have to go through the motions until we can afford for me to be a full time domestic. I wonder how many modern identities are covert bids for relief from expectations. If you have a label, you don't have to directly assert them.

I found Teal in 2012 and her teachings about boundaries were a humungous part of how I healed from abuse, addiction, depression, and anxiety. My family saw my healing and it has been a huge part of their own inspiration to heal and we have become so much stronger together and continue to take important steps toward healing. I'm thankful for Teal every single day. With her teachings, I was able to discover an actual personality of my own and become an honorable person with real integrity.

There are some questions that you would benefit by asking yourself: What does my behavior (intentional or not) force other people to do or to not do? And what does that mean about what I truly want? Have I been trying to hide something from myself? Is there something I feel ashamed to admit to? If I could do or be anything at all right now with the snap of my fingers and people would not only be happy about it, but also consider me good for it, what would it be? If I could trade places with anyone else’s life with the snap of my fingers and people would not only be happy about it, but also consider me good for it, whose life would I want? What might be so bad about seeing what I don’t want to see about myself? What do people who have been experiencing my behavior keep reflecting to me regarding what it seems to them like I want? If I didn’t want to see something about myself and about why I am doing what I am doing, what would it be? ❤🙏🏻

Love it. Teal is the red pill of spirituality

My boundary says "do not lie to me." My sense of self is rooted in the knowing that I can be trusted with the truth. When I am treated like I am not allowed to know the truth, I feel hatred and resentment.

This video should have “career advice” in the title. Really helpful, thank you Teal 🙏

It is baffling the amount of new information your able to put out so often!

Hi Teal! Usually I never write comments but I wanted to say this for such a long time: Thank you so so much for every single video you've ever done!!! Words can't describe how much you have helped me (and therefore indirectly the people in my life) over the years! I don't know where I would be without you... I agree with you on everything I have heard you say so far and that is EXTREMELY rare for me. I never just believe anything but always check everything in my heart. When it comes to covert boundaries I think my skinpicking is the hardest thing for me to replace with real overt boundaries. But I am working on the pile of shame regarding my existence that is at the root of not being able to overtly live by what I want and don't want - and even hiding it from myself because it hurts too much to know what you want when you think you can never have it anyway, so what's the point... Anyway... Maybe you could do a video about skinpicking or BFRBs (body focused repetitive behaviors) in general?? I feel like they are on the rise and I know I am not the only one who would very much appreciate a video on this topic. Lots of love, Charly

Not even the whole hour ago I was thinking right about that issue you mentioned at very begining, issue, which on my opinion is the basis of all the illnesses, especially menthal, in our lifes, and it's the fact, we are taught, since the day we are born, to NOT be ourselves. From various reasons, like our parents fears, we won't be accepted, we will be rejected, bullied, not loved for who we are. "To fit into" society. So we learn to suppress, oppress and reppress parts of us we are told are not ok, or what we see is not likeable from reactions around us. And until we reach puberty, we loose ourselfs completely.

I feel like I’ve been mentally tormented around this very issue for weeks and have put so much contemplation to it. I feel like this is the review lesson for myself like the universe asking me “what did you learn this last cycle?” Thank you so much for this video

I love you, Teal. You’ve changed my life entirely for the better, although it is I who stepped into awareness, I couldn’t have done it without these videos ❤ changing the world one video at a time 🙏☺️

Teal, you have simply explained a concept many people including myself have been blind to and in effect suffering from. This gives me hope. Thank you awesome Teal. ❤️

I was expecting Matthew to have become a criminal due to the taboo nature of ambition and self interest instilled by his family. And had they not put ambition and self interest in such a bad light, he may have had a healthier relationship with "success". But due to the manipulatory nature of their parents they ended up raising a confused criminal.

This video really lends some new insights into the shadow self. I can see how a fractured consciousness creates a covert boundary that goes against what we know or want. To be more specific: Someone who's been traumatized can feel like they have NO BOUNDARIES at all, and therefore create a fractured protector persona that creates a boundary like a brick wall around them. This brick wall can come in many different forms. It could be from self-sabotage (this way no one or no thing gets near), it could be icy cold and emotionally vapid (again, it keeps everyone away), or it could be just the opposite and be a master manipulator so that it overly controls everyone and everything in its environment.

I truly want to not be alone. I want to be popular and needed and wanted and admired. And I have gone my whole life using my creative output as a means to make myself feel important and garner attention, and when that hasn't worked, because so much of my personality was intertwined in that... I have been using those creative outlets to TRY to fill the part of me that just wants people to like and love and care about me WITHOUT having to give myself a "big special thing" I do. Because I really don't know who I am anymore, as an adult, beyond doing those things. And I've struggled to meet that need for connection, often feeling like my value to others, however small, is always relative to what I can DO for them, or do to impress them. An thus I'm unhappy alone, I lost my creative passion, I always feel like I want more out of life, I feel utterly powerless to meet my OWN needs because beyond the need for connection, I'm not even certain what else I actually want or enjoy. So outside of time spent with others feeling connected, a lot of the time lately I've felt like I'm just doing whatever I can to "get by" when I'm alone... watching KZfaq videos, listening to music, just trying to entertain myself. And often I've felt directionless. Often I either just want to die, or to run away and start fresh somewhere, try to be a new person entirely, just keep trying until I find a new way of life that feels more aligned. I just try to follow whatever impulse feels a little bit better. I may not have even discovered the depths of myself completely, but I do feel this great depth and capacity for greatness beyond just "what I've done" - like there are so many other potential paths or passions or people out there who may share the same values and appreciate me without me even needing to disclose that I make films or art or whatever. I'd love to re-socialize myself without that prior concept of who I've been or who I've been TOLD I am. And that's going to mean I need to try new things, meet new people and continue to challenge my conception of WHO I AM to begin with.

Thank you for the video and its great examples. It resonates. I heard from Marshall Vian Summers - that you confirmed as well - that you should teach children to value their experience - but how many do that? He says that to teach your child to value their experience you should ask these questions from your children: What did you feel today in seeing this thing? How did you feel about being around these people? What are you feeling at this moment? I really resonate!

This information is so valuable...it actually is an eye opener for me....I do have a certain resistance..and nothing changes. Thank you so much for this! I will have to reflect on some things. Wow

Hits hard but it hits good🙂 thank you, I am big fan of your teachings!

Your videos are great when I need help with things. You are beautiful both inside and out and your eyes are amazing! Thank you for your knowledge.

I'm just here to tell you, that you are amazing, extremely powerful and that you can manifest anything. 😊 If you truly trust in it, your "biggest" manifestations are inevitable! 💖✨ And yes boundaries are important. Follow your inspiration, don't let naysayers discourage you! We were programmed to all be the same and to become powerless working bees. But the truth is, we can be way more than that. There are more than enough examples out there, of what you can achieve when you follow your path and don't let anything or anyone distract or discourage you. 😊🗝️

Wow - this makes so much sense and fills in so many blanks, it’s uncanny. Thank you, Teal! BTW - Learning or being taught this sort of subject matter in school vs. oh, say subjects like Latin or Algebra would have been profoundly useful. I can’t remember the last time I spoke Latin or solved a quadratic equation, meanwhile I have subconsciously, unknowingly resisted the/my ‘truth’, and in turn, created a lot of undue, unnecessary discomfort, pain and harm to myself and those around me. Ugh!Thank you Teal.

So grateful for you.sending love and support to all.namaste xo

I needed that!!!

Thank you so much Teal. I do have the boundaries issue with others. This is from how I grew up. 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you Teal. Perfect timing!

Thank you I just meditated for like an hour over this video. Really helpful information.

Sincerely thank full for your deep insight into understanding and dissecting the human condition on the highest levels, your videos are my daily motivation into my own awareness in relation to my surrounding. I WISH THE BEST OF BEST, YOU ARE A GIFT TO HUMANITY ❤

Teal, at age 57 I recently decided I'm just defective in these areas and I have failed over and over to change that and so I should just give up trying. I have been feeling so defeated and sad about that. I tried to explain it to my partner and myself but could not articulate exactiy, other than to say "I am failing at life and there is no solution to change it." THANK YOU so much for this video! It's life-changing and I'm so very grateful to you.

So enlightening, as always! Eternally grateful for you, Teal.

Seeing what I don't want to see about myself would make me feel miserable because I was often feeling miserable and abused and left behind in my family. I felt the weakest and nobody was willing to protect me and understand my point of view. I don't want to be weak but I often feel it and that's why I push people away.

Greatly explained as always! Thank you, Teal!

Every Saturday I get more out of your videos. Thanks for being here Teal. XO :)

People often say I want attention, want to be the best on the stage. Thas is true because being the best guarantees safety in a dysregulated family.

Wow! This was powerful. I recognie the overly control;ing parents who misguided me into being something I never wanted to be. I also recognie how I tried to do the same with my son - best intentions in mind. Weak boundaries have always been an issue for me. I have some work ahead of me to do - thank you so much for the enlightenment .

I'm so ready for your 2023 Predictions video. I'm guessing this next year's going to be a Wild ride. Your insights are always so helpful and great reminders to look within for the world/experience you're desiring.❤️🙏✨

Another piece of the puzzle, thank you so much Teal. Your crystal clear information lights up my path. Deeply grateful. Take care and lots of love XX ❤

You rock Teal and you are the best ❤️❤️❤️ I know you had your challenges and there are many forces in this world that probably would like you to fail but you are never going to do that simply because you are so very genuine ❤️❤️❤️ we are many more who love you than those who don’t ❤️❤️❤️

Another integration done in my psyche thanks to you Teal. Thank you thank you thank you 💗 I have no idea where I would be in life without your advices Wish you the best !

Wow Teal, your incredible wisdom on human behavior and the subconscious is out of this world! I love how you explain everything and the examples you give really hit it home. I thank you so much with all of my being! All my love, and wishing you the happiest of holidays! 🙏💖🤗

Your stories about different characters were so helpful to getting me to relate this concept to my own life and start to recognise similar patterns. There are some important decisions I've been struggling with and this helps provide clarity.

Amazing. The positions I'm putting myself subconsciously I've felt like are needed but hard to explain to my parents why. And this is such a great example putting it in words! A covert way to express the true self! Glad I found your videos Teal!

Thank you Teal! ❤ This was spot on for me today!

Mathew is the exact replica of me... even down to the wardolf education, being the forced servant of others, I've given till I have nothing left to give!

Right on cue for what's going on in my life, as usual.

Thank you so much. Now I have the beginning of my red thread. Finally. Thank you so much 🫶🏼

Thank you Teal, for this video you are still the best podcast on youtube 💋

Thank you Teal 💙

I liked this video it gave me lots to ask myself and be conscious of. 👍

Hi Teal merry Christmas. And merry Xmas to your team.💜. I listened to this video tonight . I listened to last 10 minutes and questions at least 25 to 30 times. It takes better shape for me this way. I also watched the other 3 and I was becoming and accepting the resistant part before you mentioned channeling. The love was real it really hit me.. ty for videos. Happy new year to all of you.

As I grew up, I wasn't allowed to have needs NOR boundaries ... nor emotions.

Wow thank you...I shared with all my female family and friends.

Really nice, Thanks

If I could be anything/anyone, I would be a badass teaching self-defence and boundaries and writing books about abuse from my personal experience.

Thank you 🙏🏻 thank you 🙏🏻 thank you 🙏🏻

Oh Teal, I love you so much.

Exactly what I need right now! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💎💎💎

Thank you dear Teal❤😊

I love you, Teal ❤️‍🔥

Thank you 🙏 i needed this ❤ lovelight to you!

VERY helpful info

Have a good week Teal 🙏😋

I was waiting for that smile.

My behavior forces people to feel bad about themselves because I always try to be the smartest. I believe that by being the smartest I get and deserve the most attention. I actually want people to see and hear my emotions, not my smart thoughts, but my feelings were rejected so many times that I am used to hiding them. I just want the truth to be heard.

Let’s see what the universe message for me this week

teal is more beautiful now than she was 10 years ago! how?💗💓💗

Good video.

The last story is me except I was molested or anything and I'm underweight instead of overweight. I already knew why I was dressing grubby. Thanks for the questions, I will think about this.

Wow, this is life-changing. 🙂 I deeply resonate with nr 1 and see now that my family background and maybe also the general performance society has pushed me into nr 2, maybe even the woman empowerment movement. Seeing this video I feel so much stress is going from me. I feel deeply relieved and at ease. 🙏.I really want to be in my own frame as well... wondering how it all goes together but I am sure step by step...feeling deeply grateful for this perspective... thank you thank you thank you :)

I would switch lives with Morticia Addams. She's unconventional but has a good life, supported by her family. I want a family and I want to be supported so I don't have to work, I want to be the energy center of the family. I want to make the home a home and I want people to feel uplifted and empowered by me. I want to have my own business helping women, without HAVING to have my own business to "support myself". Thank you. You showed my that the reason I have never been able to have a job and "support myself" is bc I associate it with loss of family. When I turned 16 it felt like I lost my family's support because "I could work now" despite the fact that I'm not put on this earth to "work" like a slave. I'm good at energetic things and making houses into homes and making people feel better. I'm REALLY good at that. I was never meant to work a "job", and have manifested myself out of every single job I've ever had within days to months. I absolutely hate working for other people especially when it does not align energetically with my soul purpose and what is actually most beneficial to me and them. I have, since I started working ended up leaving every job I've ever had except temporary creative projects like film and tv roles, artistic projects and the like bc that's what I'm good at. I even manifested a physical illness that prevents me from having a regular job. I now understand this better and can admit that I can go directly for what I want. I always feared having a small life. I want a simple life not a small one. I didn't realize I was associating having a family with having a small life.

I Am Grateful for teal swan

I appreciate you somewhat calling out Waldorf education. They definitely tell boys in particular that they have to be feminine and selfless. Been there.

This is extremely interesting

Teal, I’m experiencing extreme shakiness and doubt in my spiritual beliefs in these times. Can you please do a video on that topic? Have you ever gone through something like this?

So very helpfull

I do a lot of self work but I’m not naive enough to assume there are things I haven’t worked out yet . How do I work out if I have a covert boundary ? Have I got a covert boundary simply by deliberately following my own path and being clear with my boundaries and goals with others ?

Thank you Teal❤️❤️❤️ it becomes more and more clear

Incredible woman

Yeah exactly ☺️ thank you 💜

I'd like to know where the second exemple can be successful and be the right person in the right place.

Matthew was a Capricorn 😊

“Thea” got thrust into homelessness and was being haunted possessed and in and out of psychosis which is why she didn’t step up it’s not just pressure. She wanted to be a magician. Matthew is spot on except the greed thing. I wasn’t always so money focused but homelessness and the spiral that came with it made me solely focused on that bc I was terrified to be homeless. Sorry teal but these are me.

Love it

Epic video.

compromising on our own self's values and wants, based on our unconscious beliefs of worthiness/unworthiness.

I always asserted personal boundaries, that's why I got beat down, humiliated, raped, and abandoned.

17:10 oh this one is a good question

Please create videos with Spanish subtitles. I am an American Living in Ensenada Baja California Mexico and have a lot of Spanish speaking followers! Thank you!

Thanks 🥰

Wow! Just wow. Are you really taking me back years! Remembering how my mother seem to love my sister , who was 4 1/2 years older than me, and began taking drugs at a very young age, and stole from me, and from other people and manipulated her boyfriend to get what she wanted And was just all-around mean. I loved her anyway, and I always saw her pain… Her dad was in the Air Force. He was in a high-ranking position, but became a horrible alcoholic, and my mother suffered greatly before leaving him and I was even born. She finally left him after 20 yrs of marriage when my sister was just two years old and then never mentioned him to my sister although she would on occasion confide to me about him. I was born as a result of my mother sleeping with my father after her military first husband. He was madly in love w/ her and She married him because that was the thing to do in 1967 when you got pregnant. When I was four or five she met a man that she loved very dearly very dearly, but he died after 4 1/2 years of marriage. my dad loved me. I was his only child he loved me dearly and I loved him. The problem is my sister had no dad and I did. (Long, complicated story)So she hated me for that my whole life and last out of me in horrible ways really. She was blonde hair blue I eyes and beautiful. I had brown hair green eyes and was striking, as my family would say. I knew my sister was beautiful, but I was always content and happy with myself, because I felt like I was honest and pure in my heart. I didn’t steal, and I tried not to hurt people. The problem was, I always felt my mom loved her more. So I began to do drugs and even told my mom that I was to prove something to myself and ?? I really didn’t want to, but I did anyway and then became hooked. All to find out if being “bad” would ??? Anyway, now I’m just venting and speaking out loud I truth that I need to delve into before I can heal, Thank you though SO VERY MUCH for allowing me to remember where to possibly start healing!!! This is the first time I’ve found you here on KZfaq. I have been listening to a lot of stuff about the aliens being out there in our atmosphere and a lot of people commenting on how they want to ascendant thank you thank you and all this, and I always tried to take a positive message from what I would hear, but yet was very cautious And then feel bad because I’m not a believer just so much confusion I felt like I was losing my mind I guess I should stay… I feel like I’m losing my mind this morning, and yesterday I acted in despair and told my youngest boy, whom I love more than life itself, that I had finally quit using And it had been two months and I was so proud of myself and I just had to tell him the truth because I feel like I just can’t hold it in any longer. I don’t think he knew that I was on drugs, and I told him this after drinking hundred proof vodka And was very drunk. Now I haven’t heard from him in over two weeks and I can’t hardly take it a I’ve been contacting him out of despair and so when I saw your video about despair, it hit me like a ton of bricks. So I am not going to reach out to him until I am out of the state of despair and now I’m crying but I’m grateful I will continue to listen to your videos. I just wanted to say thank you and I said way too much I know, but I really do think you do!

9:47 He was raised to believe that money is the root is all evil, and he marries a CEO. Wow. And I thought I knew what "disaster formula" was.

Yes, I need a counselor I don’t even know where to start. If anyone has any suggestions, I would be so much very very grateful. At least I have a place to live a mobile home that I own. Thank goodness I’m grateful for that but I am on disability for severe fibromyalgia, etc. And can barely make ends meet I have $.27 to my name right now but deep inside I’ve always known I’m a warrior and I never give up will but I am also all alone. My mother passed away in 2018. she was my best friend and now I have no one sound so pathetic anyway… I’m grateful that I can just voice my feelings at this moment. Thank you.

May I ask, are you going to make a video regarding your predictions for 2023?

My awareness... Still a Force to Reckoned with ☝️😎 even in this skin suit 😊

super cool