It’s not about shaming people for having money, it’s all about the time we are living in right now. We are living in a silent depression no one is talking about so the over consumption that we once watched, is now tone deaf to struggling families

Don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% on board with the homesteading and slow-living lifestyles as that’s been my goal/dream since I was 12 years old, now as a 29 yr old and 4 kids with one on the way I’ve dipped my toes in but it looks NOTHING like the prairie dress-wearing moms who are gracefully gathering the eggs and baking bread. I do all that and more but the work load is insane. Also I have no childcare, no cleaning service and my husband works night and day. Getting up before the kids to do the chores, bottle feed the calf, and haul water in the heat/cold just to make it inside to start breakfast before they eat each other isn’t Instagram worthy. And my house is nice but no where near swoon worthy as the “homesteading” influencers. How do they have money for such beautiful homes AND that acreage AND all the farm things which are SO expensive?? Don’t even get me started on the “traditional mom” who live in the suburbs. I’ve fallen down the rabbit whole watching them and their beautifully perfect lives too (although it’s in different ways) and once they start building that new 3,000+ sqft home (which is inevitable) I have to bounce out. I have to remind myself that living on a couple acres with a family of 6+ in 1,400sqft is what I’m really grateful for and try to forget seeing people with unlimited budget for the biggest and best because it just makes makes me feel like I’m doing it wrong.

I feel lately this whole "KZfaq era" started fading. At least for me. I've been watching videos for more than a decade and I feel I have to get over it.

I'm also an over-preparer who spent a lot of time watching mom content. Then my baby was born with a life threatening illness and all the materialism and privilege is too glaring to be relateable anymore.

There are many people (myself included) who think it has *always been crass and in bad taste to flaunt your wealth not just during widespread financial hardship.

This is one of the most relatable videos I've ever seen. Literally no one is talking about any of this! I'm a "trad wife" myself, but the most authentic version of that you could imagine lol. I have a 2 year old and one on the way. I stay home full-time with zero income of my own and one of the biggest tasks for me is figuring out how to budget groceries for the week, so that we don't overspend and dip into other bill money. I do the primary caring for the kids and home while my husband works a 9 to 5. I'm blessed to be able to do this and I willingly took on this role. However, it's freaking hard! I wish I had the time and energy to bake bread everyday, raise chickens, and put myself together with a full face of makeup and a pretty dress, but that's just not reality. There truly aren't enough hours in the day! I do the absolute best I can for my family, but it can be very stressful and exhausting at times because there's so much to keep up with and not a lot of extra money to have an outlet, such as a vacation, or spa day, or even a date night lol The money that these wealthy influencers have definitely plays a role in their experiences as homemakers and we are definitely not the same. As much as their lives may look "simple and humble", many of them are just not. I will, however, take responsibility for looking to influencers for inspiration in my own life. Bottom line is we gotta stay in our own lane, work with what God has given us individually, and be grateful. Thank you for posting something real❤

Re Ballerina Farm, there was a New York Times feature on her competing in a beauty pageant (only a couple of weeks after giving birth). In the article she said she didn’t have childcare but then said she had a full time teacher to homeschool her children, a personal assistant and multiple farm hands. Her husband’s family is worth over $400 Million. This content is NOT relatable for anyone, and people should be aware when they consume this content that this is pure fantasy.

Thank you for freaking mentioning the fact that these moms AREN’T “just” stay at home moms. They are being deeply fulfilled by what they are doing online. And if they aren’t being fulfilled, they are getting paid. Like don’t tell me that you don’t need anything else to be happy etc etc when you’re staring at a camera chatting with me lolol Edit to add that I also can’t stand the ones that don’t fully comprehend just how epic it is to have a work from home husband who is like clearly very available during the day. They all address how “blessed” they are, but like man idk if they get how huge it is. Suddenly that big family you have is no longer manageable if he goes back.

Love this but the ad for $100 greens powder is an interesting choice lol

As a new mom I loved watching mom content. During early morning feeding sessions when I was exhausted it felt comforting to see other moms and what they were going through. Then I noticed most of the moms I followed lived very privileged lifestyles and were constantly complaining about first world problems. At a certain point it started to feel exploitative. Why do I need to know your child's full name and DOB? Many mom influencers are loose with personal information and it would be easy for creeps to know where they live. I've seen planner videos where they broadcast what activities their kids have with date and times. Your kids should not be content. I think some moms brush it off because they're able to afford to stay home because of vlogging. But that's wrong. They're trading their childrens' privacy for money. When I signed my son up for school I started to think about mommy vloggers and how weird it would be to go to school or out in public and meet strangers who knew personal things about me. There are so many risks in terms of sharing your kids personal information online and no advantages. Except for money, which is wrong.

I'm a stay at home mom and it is so hard. People online put out there that it's the most relaxing and slow and lovely life. And don't get me wrong it is amazing. It is so fulfilling and I wouldn't change it for the world. But financially it's getting harder, the kids are very young so it's a constant battle with a toddler that wants it now and a baby that needs it now, and some days my head is spinning so fast, I don't always have time to bake bread, I don't always have time to make a 3 course home cooked meal. It's hard work, it's repeat work, and to top it off there's very little adult interaction, so you drive your husband nuts talking his ear off 🤣🤣🤣 again, it's the best decision I made but I hate the momfluencers that make it look like a walk in the park.

“Even this ‘simple life’ is not one you can acheive.” You hit the nail on the head. That’s the feeling I’ve been getting with a lot of these ‘slow lifestyle’ influencers but hadn’t put it into words.

Being 56 I’m glad that I brought up my kids in a time where social media was not such a big deal because I think nowadays people are comparing themselves to the outliers not to people in their neighborhood. I only had to compare myself to people I lived around and sometimes that was hard enough so I can only imagine how I would feel especially as a new mom with so many insecurities I just saw people in my own socioeconomic condition doing what I was doing with the same struggles, messy houses etc. and I felt like I was doing OK

And some of the influencers with other financial resources (wealthy family/partners) can also afford literal teams of people to film them, set up lighting, edit content, prep social media posts, etc., not to mention the nannies/tutors/housekeepers/etc. It looks like it's just one mom doing it all but there's a giant team behind the scenes that's making this lifestyle seem attainable when that's far from reality.

One thing I’ve noticed that I can’t relate to with so many mom influencers is that many of them have husbands that work from home or work part time from home. My husband is gone from 5:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. and then works a second job a few days a week. I’ll wonder why I feel so alone and isolated compared to others moms and I have to remind myself that it’s just me with the kids most of the time.

Currently, the only social media I spend time on is youtube, where I can learn to do things I want to apply in my life. I work from home raising my 3 year old while my husband works in an office. I make my own bread, and I plan to learn more about homestead, not to follow an influencer but to take care of my family. Learning new life skills comes from watching other people. So I thank the internet for that, but I don't compare and contrast. I take and produce.

counterpoint to your tradwife worries: what if they do go to college, take out student loans, and then have kids and realize that they would be most fulfilled by staying at home but can’t because they have student loan debt that will take decades to pay off? i went to nyu ($80k a year) and i am lucky enough to be able to stay at home with my kids, but i know several women who would rather be at home but are forced to work by crippling debt. maybe seems like waiting on figuring out what you truly want isn’t such a bad idea. the decision to not go to school is reversible, the decision to take out debt isn’t.

I think with the way the algorithm is now it really took away that community that KZfaq had in all niches. it’s really unfortunate. I think this is why we’re getting lonely and lonely.

she says "im tired of influencers" and proceeds to have a built in ad about AG1 .. thats being an influencer

I'm not a mom but I am so tired of how monetized motherhood has become. I understand that having a child is a big event but it's annoying that once an influencer gets pregnant, they suddenly become a momfluencer. Like, I followed an influencer because I like seeing her hair tutorials and reviews and it then quickly turns into "unbox this stroller with me, link in bio!" "3 month update on baby, link in bio for all my baby recs!" I think there is definitely an over saturation of momfluencers, like just because you're an influencer doesn't mean you have to monetize your child or make content about it.

I LOVE this new content that you've been doing recently. It's so refreshing seeing someone online that shares the frustrations & struggles of the middle class with us

That first woman saying she doesn't care if a mom is going to a nail appointment, while she clearly has her nails done 😂 idc if they're stick on or whatever, that's still and unnecessary expense. And the second lady talking about driving a 2015 car.. as in less than 10 years old.. does she really think it's normal to have the latest model of a car? Like I drive an 06 Toyota and that to me is a NEW car. My previous car was a 99 Windstar. I drove that thing into the ground (which wasn't that long since it was a Ford lol) and I'll do the same with my Toyota. I don't worry about my kid's college because I have to worry about how I'm going to feed them right now, I don't have room to worry about them going to college. I get the frustration with unrelatable influencers, but there is ALWAYS someone in worse circumstances than you. I am incredibly grateful for my "old" van because I could have no car at all, and I've been there. I don't have an asthetic house, I have a house I'd be ashamed to show on the internet because it's 800sq ft, old, dingey, and falling apart in places because it's a poorly maintained rental. But I'm so grateful that I have a house. I've literally never been on an actual vacation, closest I've come to a vacation is staying at a hotel on the two day drive to my in-laws. But I'm grateful I even got to stay in a hotel because we've done that drive straight through. My point being, gratefulness is the only way to combat the bitterness and envy you might feel toward influencers who flaunt their wealth. By all means, you can unfollow them, block them, do whatever it takes, but they will still always be there and you will always have people better off than you in front of your face if you're on social media or youtube at all. So just be grateful for where you're at!

Thank you so much for this. So many people are struggling, and it’s really shown who’s tone deaf. You’re really great for speaking out on this.

I never buy anything from any content creator/social media salesperson. I do a great job of deciding what I want and need on my own .

One of the greatest things I ever did for myself was stop notifications from IG popping up on my phone, unfollowing out of touch accounts, and overall not using the app as much but deleting it from my home screen on my phone. I’ve essentially done the same thing with my KZfaq as well. There is way too much clickbait thumbnails about the gloom and doom of the world or on the other hand, too much clickbait of these extravagant lifestyles of families with 6 kids on their way to the Bahamas for a family vacation. I want real life content that is curated to my own reality. Which is also why I appreciate your content so much. It feels very raw and grounded - but most importantly it’s relatable.

Yeah, the Ballerina Farm loses all its shine when you peel back those layers and see it in the sunlight. For Hannah & her husband, farming is a hobby, it’s not their ride or die life.

I resonate so much with this video. I’m a social worker married to a teacher. We have three kids and some days it doesn’t feel like we’re even middle class, despite both having graduate degrees and working full time.

I think you come across as a lovely lady & you make some good points but at the same time I can't help but see the hypocrisy in your video. You're advertising AG1 - from an internet search a 30 day supply in the UK can be as much as £107 or 136 USD per month. I'm sure that while AG1 does exactly what it says it does this does not seem obtainable. That is £107 less to spend on your children's future education. In 18 years that would be (price protected) is £23,000 or 29,000 USD. I don't know but, assuming you keep buying AG1, that seems a lot of money.

I've unfollowed so many mom influencers because their videos just feel so pushed. You're by far my fav channel because you keep it so real, and you don't exploit the crap out of your kids. I appreciate your videos so much.

You named so much here. Thank you! Also interesting that around the time you said KZfaq mom culture seemed to be thriving (2017-2019) there was a huge surge in MLM participation on Instagram, at least from my perspective. Which in a way I think got people comfortable with selling themselves alongside a brand and normalizing it for others. Good or bad, I just find it so interesting to reflect on why it seems outdated and replaced by affiliate models now. Also it’s sad that trying to “normalize” unsustainable lifestyles online has undoubtedly perpetuated the cost of living crisis. Excessive consumption almost always results in human exploitation on whatever level and I think people are really starting to feel that. I hope there is a new way to show up authentically online in the future, especially for us moms to connect!

I found myself unfollowing some mom content creators when they would post videos of them unboxing hundreds of dollars worth of items sent to them for free. It just brings you to a different level. Like I wish brands would send me nice baby clothes cause I’ve announced my 10th kid on insta. 😅 thank you for making such relatable and down to earth content.

YES to the part about shorts revenue! I think a lot of people think that just because you do content creation for a living means that you’re filthy rich, but just as a peak behind the curtain: my most popular KZfaq short has 1.8 MILLION views and it’s made a whopping total of $53. There can be so much pressure to do more sponsorships and sell more through affiliate links because inflation has gotten so crazy and we have to keep up just to provide for our families.

I’m a first-time mom due in June. I’ve been watching a couple of momfluencers for a few years mainly for their minimalism content and recently started watching others more too. When trying to piece together my baby registry, it really hit me hard just how out of touch even the most realistic-looking minimalist momfluencers were. So all of a sudden I found myself realizing I had WASTED SO MUCH TIME consuming their content, being influenced to believe that the products they recommended were the ones that I needed that I then realized I just couldn’t afford.

this video just popped up and i am so glad I clicked on it. When I saw that the ballerina farm family has a whole ass business and sells a bunch of stuff…and then a filming crew for their videos I was immediately turned off. I can’t achieve any of that. I want to stay home with my kids and cook but if I did that we would struggle to pay our bills.

I was just thinking this very thing ! The thing that irks me the most is " shop shop spend shop"..." join me for my new decluttering series" 😂 Are you serious 😂😂😂to watch some mum-fluencer shop all day,then dispose of it within a year is BEYOND frustrating. I barely watch them these days

Being a mom is amazing but tiring. I have a lot of respect for the loving grannies of this world

Thank you for all the work and reflection that went into this video! I’ve been reading Momfluenced by Sara Petersen so I’ve been reflecting on my use of Insta a lot lately. She writes about the comfort we get from seeing influencers seemingly living their lives in a vacuum and, for me, that just isn’t bringing comfort anymore. It makes me feel more isolated in my struggles as a mother to see someone not grappling with big questions and worrying about what life will be life for their kids. I don’t have the privilege to live in a vacuum. And now that I say that, I bet a lot of black moms and indigenous moms and disabled moms and gender diverse parents (and the list goes on..) have been saying this for a while and I just haven’t been listening. Also really appreciate you thinking through the implications of including the advertisement in this video. If you hadn’t addressed it directly it would have been very frustrating but you used it to prove your point. You deserve to get paid for this labour, and unfortunately these platforms that rely on creators don’t give those creators many options to be fairly compensated for their work.

This is so relatable! I miss those good ol days as well. I’ve unfollowed most of the mom bloggers I used to love for these reasons and several have left KZfaq on their own accord, there is a void now that I miss very much in relating to other moms online. It honestly adds to the isolation that motherhood can have.

Thank youu for having a nuanced conversation about this as a creator in the motherhood space. I feel like a lot of the criticism comes from outside and it’s refreshing to hear an acknowledgement of the disparity and the constant pressure to literally and figuratively buy into a certain lifestyle. Creators should be paid for sure but I don’t want to sit and watch lifestyle advertisements that make it seem like it’s attainable for anyone. Love these thoughtful chat videos!

Loved your video. I wished these videos would have been available 32 years ago when my first child was born. My fifth is now almost 18 and my nest will be empty this summer. I picked my first up ever time she cried. The fifth I sleep trained during his afternoon nap. I would set myself an alarm I needed rest and I had learned to sleep through his crying. You can't take care of your children if you don't take care of yourself. I think being a mom is like the old Marine commercial, the toughest job you will ever love. It's so important to enjoy the little things when they are growing up because when you blink they are grown. I now have two grandbabies to spoil.

It's the first time I comment in a video and I feel I must. This is the most relatable video I've seen in a long time! Thank you for bringing some reality to KZfaq and motherhood. I have followed you since I got pregnant, and you are probably the only mumfluencers I still follow. Wish you all the best in life, only happiness and peace 💌 THANK YOU

This is so thoughtful and brave and truly helpful. I sat still and watched the whole thing… which I never manage to do. Awesome work, thank you. Super interested in the Tradwife follow up.

I really loved this! I'm so glad I got recommended this video (and thus your channel). I've always wanted kids, so I started following a lot of these youtubers (many that you showed clips of) years ago, but now that I'm getting married this year and am ready to have my own kids it does sadly seem like the space has changed, and many of those specific people have either changed their videos (no longer show their kids at all, including future pregnancies, for example). I wouldn't say it's gone entirely, but I'm glad I got to enjoy it before it shifted.

Omg yes please make a tradwife video. I've had so much trouble finding relatable homemakers online because we don't believe in the traditional gender roles thing in my house.

This is fascinating and you’ve done such an interesting analysis of this very nuanced issue. What an intelligent and thoughtful creator you are. (Also your hair is 🔥)

Thank you so much for this video!!! I enjoy TikTok and I’m a new mom, buts it’s so hard to find mommy channels that aren’t portraying something unrealistic or trying to sell me something. I want to start posting videos in hopes of finding some people like me who live a simple life and aren’t trying to sell something or be fake. It’s so refreshing to find your channel!

Thanks for making this video. Totally agree with the points you made in this video. I have been noticing a decline in interest even for myself who was super into family/mom videos back around 2017ish and prior. A lot of influencers I watched for years but like you mentioned, they shifted into different tax brackets and lifestyles that were not relatable for me especially since at the time I was working harder than ever to pay off debt to the point of completely burning out and it impacting my mental and physical health. I’m now fortunately in a different job and more stable place but still don’t find it as relatable despite wanting to start a family in the next few years. It feels privileged to even have a pet and to have a kid is EXTREMELY privileged, especially now days when people are barely making ends meet and not enjoying life (understatement of the year). This comes from someone with refugee parents and with friends whose parents are immigrants. We watched and dealt with the consequences of watching our parents work hard to make ends meet only to be emotionally absent from from our lives as a consequence. We don’t want to repeat the same pattern for our potential future kids and don’t want to bring life into this world without knowing we can give them a better life that we currently have. I don’t think things will change until the wealth inequality gap closes. Appreciate you for opening up the conversation and being real!

Thank you for starting these conversations Ashley! I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and I can truly say that your vlogs (along with Megan Acuna’s vlogs) have been *the* most useful, meaningful, and comforting content for me over the last few years as I’ve contemplated parenthood. You talk about motherhood with such nuance and it makes me feel like I can still be myself as I become as mom. I’m really enjoying these recent videos!

Okay YES YES YES Ash! I cannot agree more. As a motherhood influencer, and an autistic woman, I find it really hard to discern genuine opinion from sponsored content sometimes. In my own content I always include a disclaimer because I find that personally helpful. As always, I love your content ❤️

I needed this video! 😊 thank you for speaking on this!

Spot on! I truly love this informative content you make latetly. The thoughts you express are very relatable 🙂

Thanks for sharing! Yes I loved the old vlog style content of mom influencers but I respect that isn't as safe or fair to the kids anymore, so this shift is natural and appreciated by me still.

OMG Mama Alia was my lifeline in 2019 when I was struggling with breastfeeding. So glad to have had that support and feel less alone! Anyone after real life house cleaning content, I love Remi Clogg. She has a small house in England and just chats away to her audience while cleaning up her house (and her house is proper messy to start with, not staged messy).

Everything you said totally resonated with me. I seriously agreed with everything. And you look absolutely STUNNING. I love your hair. I haven’t watched your videos in a long time but I remember when your hair was short. It’s so gorgeous and shiny.

Great video! I appreciate all the insights. I agree that I need to have ONE thing for me as a stay at home mom, and that’s okay! Also- there was quite a bit of echo in the audio. I also agree that when I became a mom I found mom related videos so helpful to see it’s normal my baby was up every 2-3 hours!

Loved this! Thank you for creating and sharing Ashley. Really appreciate hearing your voice :)

I will say for Christmas in my family when we have presents under the tree, there are 15+ family members that get together for Christmas and open presents which is why it looks like so many

I think it is by far my favourite video you have ever made, thank you :D I laughed, I was nodding along and had so much to relate with. 2024 is my(almost) instagram-free year actually, because I'm having my second baby and I don't want to be raising him/her by other people's "insta standards" I can't even watch the "minimalist baby essential" videos on youtube this time that I enjoyed with my last pregnancy because they feel so "sell-y" with things that no minimalist actually needs(and I already have the bare minimals from last time.) Still love your content though, thank you!

Your honesty/authenticity is refreshing! For me, on top of financial considerations, the hyper-consumerism content seems in dissonance with the increasing environmental crisis. I have unsubscribed from several account because it didn't resonate with my values and seemed so disconnected with the state of the world.

Loved this breakdown! I have such torn feelings about this because I really do feel like moms get the most hate out of all content creators. I know some of it is warranted but a lot of is so nit picky. Anything and everything is criticized to an unhealthy level. I’m happy to see people more cautious about sharing their kids. I’m also happy for the people who share the honest truth. I don’t even think I can afford a car from 2015.. like a 2015 car is a NEW car for me😬🙃 especially with the rise of interest rates. I loved how @kileanrodriguez shared her getting an older vehicle and how that’s what they can afford right now. That is what I love about motherhood content. It’s village that many of us don’t have. It’s the mom creator’s video about potty training I can watch while folding laundry when my friend can’t get back to me via phone call. I love it all. I hope this niche community can survive healthier and stronger because many of us really rely heavily on these platforms to feel less alone in this world.

I've never though of being a Mum, and I've never been in that space. But I have enjoyed nowadays seeing happy families caring for babies and children, it's so wholesome. I enjoy hearing discussions about the spaces, and hearing these mothers thoughts. I'm more into ethics discussions though, and the short term happy/hard-but-worth-it days and skits. They've always tickled my fancy.

I feel so conflicted about "mom content". On one hand, as a mom myself, I like knowing I'm not alone in my struggles. I like it when I can look forward to certain milestones of my kids, and know that everything is a season. But on the other, I started to feel extremely odd watching content that featured children. In the sense that I'm a stranger to these people, why do I know so much about their kids? I don't even know that much about some of the kids in my own extended family! I think this may have been exasperated by getting a weird comment on a short video I posted of my 1 year old at the time by a complete stranger. I love watching how others handle parenthood - but without knowing everything about their children, without it being about wbat the kids did that day. The mom content I gravitate towards now is people sharing parenthood from their perspective - like your videos. Where I can connect and relate to the creator, and apply it to my own life because it doesn't depend on what the kids are doing. When I can hear about what struggles may be upcoming as my child grows, but without actually seeing another child go through those struggles. When it feels like I'm listening to a friend tell me it'll be ok, that I'm not alone. I want a few minutes of my day to not be about kids - but I still want to hear about other motherhood perspectives! Its a weird balance for sure. Plus not being able to relate to the majority of people who make motherhood content, it leaves me feeling lonely again. I don't have many people I know who have kids, so often can't have these conversations, or see the different perspectives. I think made harder by the fact I'm so far from "traditional" motherhood (I work outside the home, I'm not religious, housework feels like torture, I'm not 100% fulfilled serving my family, I have my own hobbies that I prioritize, tattoos, etc) so any content that feels like that just doesn't interest me at all. It's complicated for sure! I don't envy anyone who is having to go through this huge shift, I'm sure it's stressful from the content creation side, especially when thinking about finances and trying to redefine content and whatnot.

Loved this one, so many interesting points! I’m a lifestyle microinfluencer myself, but I’m only able to do it, because my husband has a great salary. I don’t try to hide this and we don’t live luxuriously, but we are better off than a lot of people and sometimes I do wonder if my content is relatable or helpful to other women. Can’t wait for your tradwife video! Also, loved watching the bird feeder in the window 🥹

What I find interesting is the different perspectives around influencers becoming "unrelatable." I'm lower income, I have 2 toddlers, I have WIC, we just bought a manufactured home that needs work as our first home, and recently it was decided by the govt that we no longer qualify for food stamps. It puts us in a scary position. But it still was never off-putting for me to realize that Ballerina Farms was "well off". I honestly kind of figured that was the case, and she has never pretended anything. I was never drawn to her content because I was convinced that she was in the same tax bracket as me, i just appreciated the presence she brought to social media. I consider it a part of victim mentality when we immediately learn of someone having more than us (and more money) and suddenly "it's unattainable! How dare they lead us on..." nobody was lead on to believe anything. And Hannah has said before that she rarely cooks from scratch like that, and when she does, it is for a video and it takes several hours or days. I think we choose to fill in the blanks with false stuff sometimes as the viewers. Many people also outright lie, but I feel like all of social media is some curated extension of humanity where people generally put forth the things they want other people to see. It is weird and manufactured as a whole, and we tend to do that in real life too, but in different ways. Regardless, I do agree that it's good to curate your online experience and if you dont care to see particular people's posts, then absolutely unfollow.

It’s not at all disturbing to think of young women making different choices for their lives than 4 year college. One of the main themes on all the birth boards I’ve been on has been “I desperately want to stay home but can’t because of my student loans”. Young women need to take the whole of their lives into account when deciding what career path to pursue and someone should be honest with them that their priorities WILL change as they get older.

This was said perfectly! Thank you for sharing this!

I agree they all are now saying “day in typical mom life” when they have all kinds of things that are not typical. I don’t begrudge wealth or making money but it gets old when people in really nice houses with help from hired help, family , etc tells us how “normal” they are. I have been getting in to decluttering (do every few years ha!) and less consumerism and I’m already unfollowing so many because they all try to tout themselves as “relatable” or “how to declutter and style a small home” or tout being more mindful about consumerism and then have so many hauls and are the opposite of being relatable.

Agreed. The thanksgiving/Christmas time, when I was stressed to a point I have never been before financially, made some of my absolute favorite influencers totally unrelatable, and I ended up unfollowing them because it was infecting my mind with depressive thoughts way too much. Everyone is past just “budgeting”, it’s now become pure survival.

Surprisingly refreshing!! Thank you for sharing! It's so funny that you pointed out the stove in the background. I always notice how things look behind the person and it can be really discouraging because I don't have that fancy stove, I don't have that expensive shiplap all around my house, I don't have a spare bedroom to make into my child's playroom or my office/craft room. I don't have all matching appliances or mad money to go on multiple vacations or buy 30 acres of land with ocean or mountain views. It's good to be reminded that most people do not live that way and that's okay. Comparison can cause a lot of pain so I see why a lot of people are removing certain people from their follow/subscribe list.

I used to watch a bunch of mom influencers when I was struggling to conceive my first. Somehow watching and day dreaming about what I thought motherhood would look like for me was an escapism along with the pandemic. Now that I have a healthy baby and the world around seems so cruel, the last thing I want to see is someone’s seasonal clothes haul and ads overboard. I unfollowed sooo many people within the last year for various reasons, but this video felt like you got it right on the dot

Thanks for making this video! Really enjoyed watching it, was waiting for someone to make a video like this!

I live in my inlaws basement in 223 square feet. Many years ago my husband lost his job and fell into a deep depression so I started a small business as doing full time work gave me extreme anxiety attacks..I had 3 jobs at one point but life is also worth living. Slowly I paid off our cars, college debt and any other debts we had. Once he did get a job we started saving so much more. Yes we could of moved out a 1.5 years ago but we've decided to save for 1 to 2 more years because the cost of living would make it so each year would take us 10 years to save outside of here. Way before the pandemic I was already shopping the discount grocery store, freezing meat when on sale and getting powdered and dehydrated products. The pair of shorts i'm wearing right now are 11 years old. We put off having kids and now we are older so we have entertained the idea of beings DINKS because we have been in every circumstance. Sickness, family emergencies, car accidents, all sorts of crap...we want a house but I don't want a 2k plus payment. Just living near California makes things expensive. I don't want to see the desperation selling in videos. I don't want the fakeness. The Mom vlogs/videos make me feel less lonely being in this basement and that's why I like them. I have always felt the disconnect but even more so as time goes on.

I really appreciate your content. I have definitely seen the extreme increase of influencers. I also noticed celebrities have been upping their game too which makes me think even the rich are trying to survive this economy.

Thanks for this video. Very interesting take. A while ago I was looking up working mom routines and cleaning routines and I realized there are almost no full time, out of the house, working mom content. All I found was sahm or work from home mom life. And I thought to myself, where are these moms? And I concluded they’re probably like me- working full time while also doing all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing during their off work times… ain’t nobody got time to blog that. Which for me, made all these cleaning routines feel so unattainable and not worth the follow.

First time seeing your account, and couldn’t agree with it more! Especially about your tradwife spiel lol, I’ve been a SAHM and regularly reminding myself that what I see, is not real life! I’d say my favourite creator in that genre is farmhouse on boon, not relatable BUT she’s very transparent which I really appreciate! Also love de-influencing video trends.

Lovvvvve this style of your content. Been watching you since 2020 when I became a mum myself and I found your OG momfluencer content to help me during that life transition. Very refreshing to hear you be so honest about the fact this content is now dyinnnng. Also made me laugh when you included the sponsor but it's cool that you're just like hey I need money 🤣 your realness is great, thanks for being you.

'Influencer Delulu!' so true, so funny. I may be the only non-mom following you, but I do appreciate your videos and perspectives on today's culture. I am a teacher... and just trying to get a window on what's happening for others. I often feel like the world of 'people with families' sort of disappears from view (for obvious reasons) when I am not in the classroom or out of the house. Not all of us end up being moms, but still care. I wonder if subscribing means I will suddenly freak out the KZfaq algorithm that is controlling what I see.

I don't even use Insta or TikTok and I feel ad overload. Even streaming services that I pay for now show ads! I am so sick of it all I want to just quit everything! I am tired of these cheap, dramatizes ads of products being faked to look like they do things that make no sense. Like the skinare items that show skin magically looking perfectly smooth or that it pulls all the blackheads out so you can just wipe them away. And seeing someone with a $100+ manicure showing off some tacky thing they want you to buy is just like... I know you don't really use this thing.

I got a lot out of this, thank you for making this video !

This was an excellent video- the realest

Unpopular opinion: it’s weird to be mad at an influencer for making more money and now having a lifestyle that is “not relatable” when we (the viewers/consumers) are the ones that are making that lifestyle possible for them. We gave them their lifestyle and now we 💩 on them for it. I’m particularly talking about the creators that started from middle class or lower not the ones who have always had money.

I am a sahm by choice but I often have felt shame and guilt because I’m not “monetizing social media” but if I am so exhausted of people selling something then why would I want to do that?? I think you are so spot on that we are all tired of being sold to and we are tired of following people who are no longer relating to real life. Thank you for speaking up about these topics that are true and real life!! ❤

It is so refreshing to hear you admit that you don’t necessarily want to push ads, but it’s what you have to do to afford this hobby. I wish everyone was honest!

This is SO refreshing!!!!! Finally a REAL conversation about influencer moms/tradwives!

One of your best videos yet! Love the content, keep pushing the standards. Xoxo

This feels like an old style video and I’m so here for it. Also even though you had a sponsor in the video you didn’t have ads every 5 minutes in the video which is something that is more common than not these days.

New viewer here!! Can I just say that your kitchen behind you is absolutely gorgeous 😍 love the warm tones!

I'm really into these types of videos lately. Great job !

Another video that hits home! Its annoying to watch these creators that are constantly posting what they just bought knowing all my household can afford is bills and groceries.

This was fantastic, thank you

I agree that it is difficult to find truly relatable and genuine momfluencers without products being pushed onto you in every video. Very interesting video!

Love listening to these videos of yours! I think for "the rest of us" it's about awareness. There's never a time that I'm clicking on a video and thinking "wow, what a perfect life" and not acknowledging: ok they were fully gifted half of that ultra expensive room makeover in order to post about a company, or realize these people literally live off of their huge subscriber count and sponsorships because they made the account in 2010... unattainable. Somehow, it doesn't take away anything for me and I can just enjoy the videos for what they are and think "lucky them". I do curate pretty hard what I watch on KZfaq though, and I mostly only give the time of day to truly middle class, normal people on IG reels. That said, I'm sure this is exactly to your point that the ultra wealthy trad wife influencers are getting less meaningful engagement from every day people. But I don't think I ever bought into the nonsense to begin with, I guess. 😆 Always love watching your content! ❤

I love this video and the gen alpha video! So insightful and to the point. Please make more like this! Do you have more videos on your patreon like this? Also yes definitely do a trad wife video- it definitely glamorizes being a SAHM and the beautiful trad wife life seems very unattainable when you have student loans and cannot live off of one income because the monthly loan payment is more than either one of our monthly incomes.

Charlotte really helped me a couple years ago when I had my first. She's really the sweetest❤

You have no idea how broken and guilty I felt for not having my life fulfillment coming solely from being a homemaker mom like I saw all these beautiful videos portraying.

I agree. I used to watch mommyvlogs 5 years ago when i was home with my firstborn. It helped me feel a little less lonely and seen. But once my 2nd baby came 2 years later, i started feeling less connected because i didnt feel like i had all my shit together and watching them meal prep and have a beautiful home became discouraging.

such a great video...!

Heya, totally agree with you and saw the content shift myself! Also, the creators I started watching few years ago now have multiple children, some already in school and for personal reasons, don't want to vlog them anymore which I totally understand. In looking for content, they moved away from vlogs to 'perfect homemaker's life' type of videos. I miss the old school vlogs too 😢

You really put it into words nicely. I used to watch KZfaq mommy blog content and feel good, now I get fed TikTok’s of ideal mommy content and feel shitty.

I agree that the home life and all the bells and whistles is too much, it is not realistic. As you mentioned the trips, the shopping, the decorating and over the top production is just not real. Then some whine about all the work they have to do to post a video for us and how they are wore out, well stop why make subscribers feel like they are responsible for their life choices. Enough said!