"Being overwhelmed by just existing." Never heard anything more relatable in my life.

That survival voice over was perfection.

The fact that you got thru high school and college and have a great job, speaks volumes about your drive! I said from the moment I watched you that you were ADHD. I’m almost 50 and FINALLY got a dr to truly listen to me and help me. I have ADHD and wish I could have accomplished half of what you’ve done. Kudos to you Bea!!! Don’t be ashamed, Be Proud!!

Bea, we are enduring a pandemic. Please be kind to yourself. You're doing so well from when you first started. Being more self aware is a total win!!! Congrats on your diagnosis and use your Thrive membership to try organic and healthier food and snacks. Take care of yourself and we will be here whenever u choose to drop in😉💕💕💕

Oh sweet Bea, please get rid of the lillies! Most people dont know this (I didn't for the longest time), but all parts of lillies are lethally poisenous to cats. If that is what the yellow on cheddy was you may have saved him by rubbing it off with a wipey however since his fur still is stained there might still be pollen for him to ingest if that's what is in his fur. I really don't want to scare you, but please look it up and keep an eye on Cheddy. You might want to pre-emptively have him checked by a vet and the yellow shaven off or something.

"Why can't I be normal?" The theme of my negative self talk for most of my life. I'm 31 and I've had a recent ADHD diagnosis as well. And it is so helpful. Congratulations 🥳

It warms my heart seeing Doug bond with you over time. When you first got him, he seemed pretty content, but a little shy. Now he seems to light up when you talk to him.

“I’m overwhelmed just by existing” that hit home hard for me. I have felt like I was drowning here lately. Thank you for sharing your heart.

As a heads up, those lilies that Chetty rubbed up against are toxic to cats :(

The problem with introverts is I could use a friend like you who I connect with, but we would never become friends because we would be at home by ourselves drawing. So thank you KZfaq! 😂

If your plants get lopsided you can rotate them so that the “sad” side faces the sun and it will help stimulate growth on that side.

I would cry every year when people would sing “happy birthday” up untill my 15th birthday, just got diagnosed this year (at 31 years young) with ADHD. Glad I’m not alone because I always felt like the biggest asshole! Meds and therapy are a game changer 💙

If those are lilies, they’re highly toxic to cats! We have four cats (#crazycatlady) and I won’t let a single lily into the house because I’m so scared 😨

Reading all of the comments about other women, like myself, who were recently diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood warms me up, thank you for sharing.

“Mental prison” is totally relatable. I FEEL that. Also, you’re way too hard on yourself. I am too, that’s why I can see it in you. Also can totally relate to how wonderful professional validation feels. It’s like, oh, my experience/self is atypical, and I have plenty of reason for not coping the same way other people do. I’m glad you got answers and validation. 😊

Me, sitting here like “I literally thought she knew she had ADHD this whole time.”

Honestly never occurred to me that you hadn’t already been diagnosed. I think it is always so funny how others can see things in you that you don’t even know about yourself. I hope having the diagnosis helps you feel like you aren’t ever “wrong” in your reactions…just reacting to the best of your ability

Hey Bea, I can't tell very well from the close up but it looks like that flower was a lily, which is actually SUPER toxic to cats, especially the pollen. If it is a lily, please get it out of your house! I don't want to scare you, but I also don't want anything bad to happen to your cat. I also agree with what someone else commented that you may want to shave that area of Cheddy's fur that was stained and also keep a close eye on him. I don't know how long ago this video was recorded, but I would keep a close eye on him for a while and maybe even call your vet to see if he needs to have a checkup to be safe!

Bea, this video brought tears to my eyes! I got diagnosed with ADHD - primarily inattentive type last year at the age of 26. So many things make so much sense to me now about myself. I am so excited for you. Medication literally changed my life. I saw someone say once re: medication - it itself doesn't make you happier, but joy is so much easier to reach. And I find that to be so true. Good luck with your treatment!

I’m 23 and was finally diagnosed with ADHD last year. I’ve struggled with severe procrastination since elementary school onwards and never knew why. I constantly skipped classes in high school because of missing homework assignments. My stress levels were through the roof all throughout my life. No one including myself understood why I struggled so much. I only found out the symptoms of ADHD when I was looking up procrastination for the thousandth time. It was a godsend to finally know why simple chores felt like mountains to me and why I seemingly couldn’t function like other people.

I have always been called spacey, dreamy, weird, antisocial. My dad said recently “you never stick to anything” I have been managing, adhd, depression and anxiety for most of my life. Honestly the covid quarantine helped me to stop and focus on my mental and physical health in a different way. Scared about big changes coming up in a few weeks, hoping I can continue my healthier habits even as life gets busy. Thanks for continuing to share your journey, I know so many can relate! 🌈

I just got to the part where your kitty got stained yellow from a plant, if this is a lily or anything that grows from a bulb, please toss those since cats are severely susceptible to the toxins in the plant. My cat got into lilies once, and I really recommend checking with a vet if you see him feeling sick ❤️

Also a small note, monstera plants and lillies are toxic to cats. I recommend doing a little bit of research online for what plants are safe for cats and what aren't. :) I definitely felt that you had ADHD and after those earlier videos I started to look into it myself and I suspect I have it too. I have the psychiatrist referral and my doctor agrees that it's best I get evaluated, but at the moment I need to save for the evaluation, car registration and pay off my dental. :S The chair looks so good and your house is gonna look amazing! I am in love with your kitchen! I'm not a wood cabinet kind of gal but it looks so sleek with the black hardware and white subway tiles! :)

"Literally and physically killing the family tree" 🤣🤣🤣 You crack me up, Bea. Love your videos!

To echo the comments, I just got diagnosed with ADHD AND Bipolar so no wonder my doctor/therapists couldn't/didn't know how to help me for a really long time. Now at 28, I actually feel clear headed and I am able to do the things. I only hope the same for you!

B, as someone who weighs the same as you, has PCOS, struggles with depression and has been wondering if I may have ADHD (the likelihood is pretty high😅) ... it's so nice to be able to relate to someone with similar issues because I now know I am not struggling alone. I've been watching you since you started this channel and I just want you to know you're helping others like me and that we appreciate you 😁💛

You hit me with the "when you get your ADHD in control, a lot of symptoms that ADHD causes have the potential to lesson," because when I started meds for my ADHD my mood vastly improved and I was much energetic and the urge to binge dropped rapidly. I still deal with anxiety because that's personally the most detrimental on me physically/mentally, but ,my therapist putting me on my meds were a miracle.

When several women started talking about ADHD online I contacted my metal health care provider to find out if I had it. They had me fill in several pages of different forms. No ADHD, but some points in AQ 10. The doctor had me fill in AQ 50 and it looks like I probably have some form of autism with full points in inattentiveness. It's interesting what you find when looking into your mind at 29. Free healthcare is nice but takes a while. Let's hope I get the time to the place that researches autism quicker than the time for the place that takes care of me now ( 8 months). Luckily my depression can be managed on pills but waiting for times for months just felt like being left on my own.

Shortly before the panini started, we began the process of having my 7yo daughter diagnosed with adhd and “high functioning” autism. This sent me down a rabbit hole to learn more, particularly about how it presents in females and this is when I realized that *I* am most likely on the spectrum too. I am a 33yo mom of 2 and suddenly my whole life made sense. It’s shocking that I made it this far without anyone ever mentioning it because now that I know, it seems so blindingly obvious! ♥️ you Bea!!

“Am I socially responsible or vain” is absolutely me

When you were describing the symptoms of inattentive type adhd, I went, "holy shit!" cause you were describing me to a T. Then I starting crying cause now I know that I'm not crazy, defected, stupid or alone. There's a word that describes that I'm not lazy and that there's treatment. Thank you Bea, for downloading this video.

I went YEARS, struggling through life, knowing something was wrong, and just dealing. My mom and grand mother were both diagnosed with Bipolar, and the older I got, the more aware I got of my own symptoms. I could see it in me, and how it affected my life, and I continued to put off seeing a doctor even after I basically came to terms with the diagnosis myself. Self diagnose can be a very dangerous thing, but I’m a strong believer that if you feel something within, mentally or physically, is off, you should trust yourself. Surprising to no one, I was diagnosed almost immediately and have been on meds since thank god

This whole time I’ve wanted to say to you that I thought you had adhd but I didn’t want to offend. You are so much like my daughter and I, who have inattentive type adhd. Mine was missed until I was 40, and I suffered a great deal as a child in school because of it. My daughter wasn’t diagnosed until the 7th grade! Profoundly impacted her self esteem. The lack of dopamine or dopamine uptake that is a known factor in adhd is a likely factor in why I was a binge eater as well. Fatty, salty, sugary, greasy foods cause a release of dopamine. Hello?! We are not medicated, each by our own choice. But I am a successful adult and learned how to manage all my own symptoms without medication. My daughter likes how she is and doesn’t feel she needs to change anything to make her brain more like a neurotypical one. She accepts that there will sometimes be a mismatch between her environment and her mind. It all comes down to what will work for YOU! Support. You got this girl! There’s a great How To ADHD channel. Check it out. Love you girl! You are only labeled as not neuro-atypical because the linear thinkers wrote the DSM. There is nothing “wrong” with you, your brain or your emotions. Don’t bother reading books that tell you you are fucked up and have to fit in with the linear society. I recommend Lynn Weiss book “attention deficits disorder in adults”. We are with you! All emotions are welcome here!

“I am literally and figuratively killing the family tree” HAHAHHA YOURE SO FUNNY 😆

When you were sanding and sweeping up the dust from the chair it reminded me of all the times when I was younger and my grandpa would make so many things out of wood and I would beg to sweep up the shavings because I found it satisfying and I liked to spend time with him- so thanks for bringing those memories to the front of my mind❤️

Regarding the plant: We have one. They thrive on neglect and prefer smaller pots so they can remain root-bound.

I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD at 40 yrs old. It all makes sense. I’m learning so much. It’s hard to lose weight with ADHD too. I’ve been reading articles about the connection. Thanks for sharing!

Bea! So glad you're back! If that pollen is from a lily, it's suuuuuper poisonous to cats (like, fatally so). I'd wash it off ASAP (heck, if it was me, I'd cut that bit of fur off and get rid of the flower). If it isn't a lily, please ignore 😊 Xxx

I’m so so so proud of you for taking the steps to understand yourself! I was diagnosed adhd last year at age 29, after living my life with a brother who also had adhd but mine went unnoticed. I know the feeling of finally having validation of alll the things in your life you didn’t understand coming to the surface can be both overwhelming but also add a sense of relief. Sending positive thoughts as you continue on this journey! :)

Love seeing your paintings. You’re so creative. ❤️

I went to the hardware store a lot as a child, and those paint chip samples were very useful as film awards for Barbie dolls. A lot of the color names made reasonably good film titles. #weirdchildhoodstories

Bea!!! Lillies are super dangerous around cats. Please do what you can to actually wash that off his fur and get the lily out of the house. Keep an eye on him and get him to a vet if you see anything out of the ordinary.

Yay! Congratulations on the diagnosis!

Girl, I love your updates. I love how real you are. Keep doing you, sending love & support xxx

I was diagnosed with ADHD last week and I’m almost 48!

Just like a good mom would say” I was worried about you, no phone call, no text.what’s a mom to do! I’m totally with you on a little bit of green on the bananas

Yay! I'm so so happy for you, well done for being brave and taking the first steps!

Thank you for sharing this! Glad Douglas got his pup cup!

Welcome to the ADHD club! My psychiatrist also told me that when your ADHD is treated, your anxiety and depression can also get better, simply because you’re more focused, more organized, and more confident. Adderall comin in clutch! It actually has improved my quality of life too. Not completely, but it made it better. I didn’t think I needed to get treated because I wasn’t in school anymore, but when she told me that ADHD also affects executive functioning, I was like “oh….THATS why I need 3 days off in a row to do my laundry.” Bea, I swear to you, my first week on adderall, I cleaned out and organized my entire kitchen, meal planned, grocery shopped, and prepped in 2 days. I also had a crockpot meal going for dinner. And still had time to sit down and watch the new Game Grumps episodes, have dinner, and shower before bed. Before, that would’ve taken me at least 2 weeks to do. I will say though, at least with me, while I may be focused and I want to do something, I have to have a plan for that day, otherwise I’ll kinda sit in jumpiness, not knowing what to do. So I make to-do lists, they really help.

Is that flower a lily that dyed your cat? Lillie's are very toxic for cats and will cause kidney failure, just so you know and you can keep them out of reach 🙂

“I can’t will myself to do it” yup. That’s ADHD in a nutshell.

Girl!! You are so damn talented at art, I would love to see more of it in your vlogs

Lots of things are under-diagnosed in women, as women’s health has been routinely underfunded (the medical field is predominantly male staffed - changing, but not there yet!)

Btw get ready to possibly experience a lot of grief while you reflect and reframe your life through the lens your new knowledge. Not easy, but well worth it for the clarity!

Thank you for uploading. I was waiting updates from you.

I really loved seeing your little doodle paintings with the watercolor. I would be super into seeing what brand your new set is and would love to see more little paintings if you felt like sharing. I remember you telling us at different points you were creative, so its very nice to see some of your work pop in for a visit :)

Realize that “normal” is a construct. It’s our perception of ourselves vs. our perception of others. You are normal, just the way you are!! What’s unusual is the gracious and relatable manner in which you share your experiences! You’re actually quite extraordinary! Thanks for sharing- love your videos!

Douglas and Bea are truly made for each other

I have the inattentive type too. I’m so glad you have a diagnosis. It really helps with some sort of relief, to know there’s a name to the things we’ve been experiencing.

About the monstera! The like to be snug in their pot so only change if it's like "bursting out" of the pot. They like a bit of shade. My monsteras are also always thriving ^^

“all of the daddies in Lowe’s” so i’m not the only one who secretly scans hardware stores for the DILFs 🤣😅

I’m so proud of you. Been following for a long time. You inspire and confirm that every single person is important and indispensable.

You're so talented by the way, the pictures you paint in your journal are beautiful! And I'm so happy if you getting a diagnosis helped you!

Bea, I have always felt that we shared more than just our weight history. Much love from a fellow neurodiverse woman xx from a supportive place, aspergers is no longer a diagnosis, it is seen as ableist by the autistic community. Know that this diagnosis is just a prism to know, accept and love yourself. It will help you to find your tribe. You are so welcome xxx

Aww, Dougie's little paws during the walk... tippy taps 🥰

You give me hope. Thank you for being open about your struggles. ❤️

I really enjoy your posts. You’re very funny, honest and direct. Sharing who you are and how you’re dealing with life, good or not so good, is making a difference in many people’s lives. Thank you!

About the meds, we all need the same substances to be ok, some of us just have to get them from outside sources ❤️ good luck and I’m so glad you got this validation. You’re doing great!

My husband has ADD. He got back on medication to help him manage for a while but I think he’s back off of them again. I’m so proud of him of how he copes. I’ve learned how to communicate with him. I love him for him. All in. 19 years and counting. Hubby is not a social butterfly, but yet he is a team lead for his job. I’m sure it wears him out. BEA, I’m so proud of you. Keep up your hard work. I am with you for the long haul. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been having the hardest time too and I agree... just start!!! Now if I could just do that lol! Good for you for trying meds. You are amazing!!

I relate to so much of what you said here and appreciate you being so open. ❤️❤️❤️

I was diagnosed a couple of months ago at the age of 59. I have actually lost a small amount of weight (4 pounds in 6 weeks) because medication eliminated my compulsive snacking.

Meds have been life changing for me. I had no idea that things could be better. It was amazing! Also, my daughter used to walk around with a yellow nose from smelling flowers when she was a toddler. It was a funny time.

Your journal is so beautiful and inspired me to mess around with my inner creative. 😍 thanks for sharing. I gotta step up my self-love game.

I absolutely LOVE that you shared your art! It's so colorful and rich and creative!! I also started journaling in a moleskin around 3 years ago when I started going to therapy for PTSD. They're great for throwing down those thoughts/anxieties that keep circling and easy to carry around with you. I recently got medicated myself and have been exploring the world of art journaling/bullet journaling (I can't do the weekly spreads nope too much work for me)/writing daily and it's really helped to center myself. If you want to explore the world of journals, Archer & Olive and Notebook therapy have amazing 160 gsm light grid dot journals that I'm loving for my watercolors/gouache/pen art ( Archer & Olive was created by a woman who recognized the importance of journaling for mental health and she named her company after her cats need I say more 🥺). Best of luck on your mental health journey and it would be lovely to see more art if you feel comfortable enough to share!

Once, my coworkers sang happy birthday to me in the cafeteria. I stood up and left the room in total humiliation. I am so happy you got your official diagnosis. It is fantastic to just have the validation. I was 57 when I was officially diagnosed.

I think that white flower you showed was a lily, if so they're super toxic to kitties so watch out, plus the pollen stains like crazy! They are beautiful though!

Congrats on your diagnosis hon. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you breathe a little easier xx

So happy you have a diagnosis and can move forward with more clarity. Love your Mid-Century Modern vibe- excited for arrival of couch🕰

Also, you can just pinch off the pollen thingies from the lilies when the bulbs open. When I learned that it blew my mind lol. No more staining everything

The IUD ruined me with hormones and acne. It’s what pushed me to finally go off of birth control in general because I didn’t actually need it. Took a whole year for my body to figure itself out after going off. Hormone changes are no joke.

I really love how real you are, I will keep supporting you Queen! You can do this!

I'm so glad! Here to tag along the journey about what you find out and what helps etc., as the NHS in the UK is completely overwhelmed and I am yet to get an appointment myself.

rotate the plants a lil bit in a couple of days so that they grow more evenly ...... as they are getting sun only from one direction and the growth is leaning towards the sun

Mental health is such a journey in and of its own. It's really encouraging to see you prioritizing yours and continuing to discover ways to help yourself, even when it's scary or overwhelming. 💜 Keep going strong, Bea!

**conversation with Starbucks barista** 'And that's the banter of the day' Girl, same😳 🌬️🤍🖤🤍XoCher

I came onto the KZfaqs to ask how you're doing and BOOM a new vid!! Congrats on your diagnosis! Knowledge is power and this probably helps answer some questions you've had too. I actually looked into an ADHD assessment for myself a couple months ago and have taken no action. Maybe now's the time for me too. Thanks Bea!!

It was really interesting when you mentioned about how you get really easily overwhelmed by just existing and especially in social situations. My partner has Aspergers and this is something that he struggles with a lot as well. I know that it can be very difficult, but just know that you’re not alone. 💜

FYI..The pollen in your lily is HIGHLY toxic to cats 😬

❤️❤️❤️❤️ i hope this is a new, happier chapter in your life. I think knowing what you are dealing with and having any help will be great

I think your an awesone person Bea. Your working through so many issues in your life and still maintaining KZfaq and work. It makes a lot of sense that your emotions are up and down. Also love your art in your journal. I hope you give youself a lot of grace.. Love you and Your channel thanks for letting me be a part of it.

Oh yeah, the familiar feeling of crying in a parking lot. I'm so glad you got some answers and now can work towards improving your quality of life. Always rooting for you all the way from Brazil, Bea 💚💛

The yellow thing-plant is a Lilly. These are very toxic to pets. I suggest giving it away or in a closed room

So glad you talked about this. I got my Asberger's diagnosis this year too and it also felt like a weight lifted up from me. Highly suggest some great neurodivergent youtubers. I've gotten a lot of great tips to help with anxiety and social anxiety. I'm waiting to get another appointment to check on ADHD after hearing your story I realized I have a lot of similar symptoms and just want to know. My family dynamic has gotten so much better after teling them and helping them see how I need me time and that I may act in ways they think mean one thing but don't like your example. I would get very annoyed when we had plans change because it ruined the flow if my day and the plans in my brain but I often wasn't mad at them it was more like anxiety I just didn't know what anxiety was and would hold it in and self-harm to release anxiety. My family always thought I was just never nervous but I was in literal pain to the point I ended up with a chronic migraine disorder. I also used to like having no lights and hiding in small spaces because it gave me more control. My mom hated it and would stuff things in my closet so that I couldn't use it to hide and always turned on my lights. Now that the understand my quirks and needs a bit more we've had a much more harmonious and functional relationship.

I’m excited for you! When I got diagnosed and started my medication I quit binging almost completely. On the three days I missed I binged but other then that it’s been 5 months strong! I also don’t struggle with my dyslexia during the hours my medication is at it’s most potent. I hope it gives you the happiness I found. I do have to warn I went through a month extremely sad because I had waisted almost 30 years fighting to be happy and knowing it was so simple to fix and I just needed so help with my mental health. But trust me it’s amazing to feel normal even for a few hours a day.

I cried so much when I was diagnosed with ADHD because it was such a relief. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago and the medication was like flipping a switch, getting myself out of prison. Amazing! My relationships have improved because my family has given me a little more grace. I am not being a jerk, I am just trying my best! Sending you love 💗 and hugs 🤗

I HAD A STRONG FEELING. Your symptoms were so similar to mine and I wanted to say that maybe you had it but didn't want to make assumptions. The struggle with maintaining friendships, the lack of motivation sometimes, the anxiety, it's a looong journey. I'm so glad you got diagnosed!!

Hey I have ADD and am on the spectrum too! I'm so glad you were able to get a diagnosis. My best friend also has the same diagnosis. It's weird to look back on your life and see all the struggles in a different light after finding answers. Cheers to clarity moving forward!

Hello, my first time seeing a video here, and I love the vlog style and honesty. Thanks for sharing your journal, love the cut circle, what a great idea!

Can I just say how nice is to see you act with Douglas!! He is really loved. I can't have pets, but seeing you is soothing 😌 💕