The Difference Between Serial Cheating and an Affair

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The Difference Between Serial Cheating and an Affair

Рет қаралды 21,970

3 жыл бұрын

There is a saying that "once a cheater, always a cheater." For some this is true and they become serial cheaters. However, if both partners are committed to restoring trust and honesty, an affair can just be an affair. Restoring that trust is hard work, however, and requires incredible humility and awareness. This video talks about the differences between someone who made a horrible mistake and someone who has a toxic, destructive habit.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.
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Пікірлер: 44

@matheletsie4395 2 ай бұрын

Thanks,you just described my husband...He is a serial cheater

@jalisa8236 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you. This video is spot on a serial cheater, always end up cheating again and again with many different people.

@nezisgarden 4 ай бұрын

Serial Cheaters are hopeless. Have self respect. Never allow opportunist into your life. Love yourself first so you can have a good life.

@lorrainebuono8824 7 ай бұрын

Please don’t think you’ve got the unicorn and they will stop because they love you and the family life they created with you. That will just trap you for longer and break your heart even deeper. In my experience and with friends’ scenarios, they will eventually leave you for one of their conquests. They will blame it on your inability to communicate, or not keeping the house clean or some insignificant fault they have to underline of yours, so you feel you did something to lose them. It is not your fault!! They are disordered and this is who they are and will always be. They do NOT change for the next one either. Cut your losses and leave. It’s so incredibly painful, but there is peace on the other side of abuse and you will get there. Their life will not pan out, no matter how great it looks on the surface.

@amandamarie1086 Жыл бұрын

Found out about multiple transgressions throughout our marriage. Has expressed remorse but still can’t give me access to his phone, email, makes it so I can’t see his friends on social media etc. it’s heartbreaking 😔

@bossent.9575 Жыл бұрын

Save yourself the heartbreak, just found out my spouse has been cheating again! For 2 years with someone he claims is only a friend yet can not produce me one text message ect to verify this because his text messages has been deleted. Yet his phone records show all day and night communication with this person

@amandamarie1086 Жыл бұрын

@@bossent.9575 I’m so sorry

@bossent.9575 Жыл бұрын

@@amandamarie1086 it's ok his lost 😊

@jct3439 6 ай бұрын

Leave. Worse case scenario you could end up feeling so unloved thay you slip up and cheat too. It’s the worst

@Leavetheguntakethecannoli Ай бұрын

That isn’t remorse. True remorse means making changes which you state he is not. Run. You are giving him the green light that his behavior is forgivable and he also probably respects you less for taking him back knowing what he’s doing.

@juanitadudley4788 Жыл бұрын

I'm no shrink, but in my nonexpert opinion, this sounds like narcissism at the very least

@rmorse5293 10 ай бұрын

You summed it perfectly. Every where we went, she was on the make. It didn't matter where or who at dinners, parties, even family reunions were ok for her, and even a family funeral . "Yuke." She would walk 10 feet in front of me, so it looked like we weren't together, I caught her making eyes and gestures even while we were walking, holding hands. Complete phyco and needs help. Whatever you do, don't marry anyone who shows the signs she mentions in the video. Trust me, your life will be nothing but an embarrassing hell on earth.

@mjohnstonflying 11 ай бұрын

My wife worked for the PD, endless amounts of officers. She didnt need online or parties. Even some of the officers met me and shook my hand.

@mjohnstonflying 11 ай бұрын

Yes she can be transparent but I can never know what happens while at work.

@Seabass2478 8 ай бұрын

Makes perfect sense. Closure video right here!

@bradleywesterford3587 Жыл бұрын

how about someone who cheated in their prior relationship, but swore up and down that they would never do that again, because they learned their lesson and don't want to be 'that kind of person' but then cheated on their current partner after 8 years?

@nezisgarden 4 ай бұрын

Still hopeless. Don’t buy it

@americandad4864 Жыл бұрын

I heard a lot of excuses but one , maybe the cheater is just a selfish asshole !

@jensbornagain 2 ай бұрын

I had a discussion in pre marriage cousoling with my husband and I made it clean that strippers was cheating one year after marriage I found out he had one at his bachelor party. So I left. He talked me back and swore he would never do it again. Long story short he did. And the when I found out about his affair and massive porn use I also found out he had been going to strip clubs behind my back many times after is it fair to say that is serial cheating ? I was never told the truth still to this day.

@Gotoworkkk 9 күн бұрын

Well, hopefully you left him far behind

@lilaccilla 9 ай бұрын

addiction to attention from women I believe .and addition to the high of getting away with it .

@DoubtingThomas333 2 жыл бұрын

This is a great video. Thank you very much.

@elizabeththomason1582 15 күн бұрын

My husband at the time, said to me, "Every one I dated wanted to marry me, yuck!" I believed he was not talking about women in the past he dated, but at the time he said this. This was a Freudian slip. He did not want to marry any of the women he was cheating with, he only wanted to use them for sex. He was using all the women he had sex with. He eventually ran off with another woman. I should have sent the other woman flowers for enticing him out of the house.

@amc3964 6 ай бұрын

Lowest of the low.

@keora15 10 ай бұрын

😭😭😭😭😭😭I MARRIED A SERIAL CHEATER. I AM SICK TO MY STOMACH AND MY DAD REFUSES TO LET ME LEAVE

@lorrainebuono8824 7 ай бұрын

It’s not up to your dad. You are being abused and have every right on earth to protect yourself. Your father may have to go too, if he fails to support you. Infidelity is abuse,listen to no one but your own gut and protect your life. Your father’s opinion means absolutely nothing!!

@anissaholmes4495 4 ай бұрын

If this is biblical thing with your Dad, Jesus said you can leave and divorce your marriage to a cheater without any moral penalty. You will be free to remarry. The cheater on the other hand will have to answer for his/her misdeeds.

@williamripple686 Жыл бұрын

Mary Jo, How many separate APs would identify a spouse as a serial cheater? As opposed to a spouse who simply made "only" four mistakes, with one being a year-long affair?

@MaryJoRapini Жыл бұрын

I think a partner who cheated and then did not make major boundary changes to never do it again, is a serial cheater. It speaks poorly of their character and I would not trust them again.

@williamripple686 5 ай бұрын

My wife claims the four guys she slept with, that happened to come to light, are all there are. I am 99.99% sure that's a lie. On an occasion years ago, I demanded she tell me of her affairs unknown to me. She responded, "I won't answer that question ". I then said, "at least promise you won't have any affairs in the future". Her response: "I can't make that promise". And those are direct quotes, burned into my memory. When she said that, it utterly destroyed me and was our divorce. We are now basically roommates and trust has never returned. I doubt there are more than ten guys beside myself that could stay with a wife like mine, but there are extenuating circumstances. Of course you are correct, in a relationship, trust is more important than love.

@tonrobert3391 2 жыл бұрын

I agree 100% with this video

@Gnomesmusher 8 ай бұрын

A lot of these characteristics sound like they're more likely to be male traits (i.e. seeing hookups as a conquest), do female serial cheaters also view them like this?

@LocPham-kw5ut 5 ай бұрын

Female serial cheaters seek validation and security

@matinaki1644 Ай бұрын

There are no significant differences between the two sexes, despite what some may say. The main difference is that women do not feel that entitled due to the subordinate position of the female sex in society. Men were always viewed as more "privileged" in that matter. There is no psychological or biological difference though. Everything is a matter of character (upbringing, childhood etc).

@matinaki1644 Ай бұрын

Just think of women like Catherine the Great of Russia. Didn't she hold great power? She had a main lover (Potemkin) whom some say she even married in secret, and she had many lovers. She didn't mix her feelings for Potemkin with the carnal pleasure she had with other men. This proves that her access to such power (a queen in her own right, not a consort as she was in the beginning) led her to operate in this way.