It turns out that there is such an important rule - the “first three minutes” rule. When parents in the family begin to follow this rule, they notice that it changes a lot in their relationship for the better.
The “first three minutes” rule is to always greet your child with such great joy, as if you were meeting a friend whom you have not seen for many, many years. And it doesn’t matter whether you returned from the store where you ran out for bread, came home from work, or returned from a business trip.
As a rule, everything that a child wants to share with you, he “gives away” in the first minutes of the meeting, and this is precisely the importance of not missing this time.
You will immediately notice those parents who intuitively follow the “first three minutes” rule. For example, when picking up a child from school, they always squat down to his eye level, hug him when they meet him and say that they miss him. While other parents simply take the child by the hand and say “let’s go” while talking on the phone.
When you come home from work, immediately pay all your attention to the child. Take off your shoes and run after the child. You have a few minutes to sit next to him, ask about his day and listen. Then you’ll go eat and watch the news. If you don’t pay attention to your child in this way, he will follow you all evening, demanding communication, attention, love.
It's not the amount of time that matters, but the emotional intimacy.
Sometimes a few minutes of heartfelt conversation means much more to your baby than a whole day spent with you, if your thoughts were elsewhere at that time. The fact that we are always in a hurry and preoccupied will definitely not make our children happy, even if we believe that we are doing it for the sake of them and their well-being.
For parents and children, the expression “time together” has different meanings.
For adults, it is enough for children to simply be next to them when they are doing something at home or going to the store. But for children, the concept of “time together” is looking eye to eye when parents sit next to each other, put away their mobile phones, exclude thoughts about hundreds of their problems and are not at all distracted by extraneous matters. A child will never trust if he feels that the parents’ priority at the moment of communication is something more important than him.
Of course, parents do not always have time to play together with their children, but in such moments, do only what the child wants. There is no need to offer him your options for free time. Time is fleeting, and before you know it, your sons and daughters will grow up, so don’t waste time and start building trusting relationships with them now.
Let the “three minutes” rule come in handy for this.
Author - Natalia Sirotich ( profile.php?...)
Cover illustration by Freya Blackwood
Timecodes:
0:00 Introduction
0:28 First three minutes rule
0:40 More about the rule
0:59 About parents
1:23 What should parents do?
1:39 Emotional intimacy
2:05 Time together
2:59 Conclusions
Ukrainian video - • Правило "перших трьох ...
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