The Gifts of Heartbreak, Conscious Relating & Sourcing Inner Freedom - Andre Duqum

The Gifts of Heartbreak, Conscious Relating & Sourcing Inner Freedom - Andre Duqum | Deja Blu EP 116

Рет қаралды 24,817

Күн бұрын

Click here to check out Andre’s Podcasting Course!
www.podcastpurpose.com/deja-blu
Use Code: BLU at checkout
Hello Beautiful Blubirds, Andre Duqum is the host of the Know Thyself podcast and someone I have spent 3 years in an intimate relationship with. Join us as we open up about what it means to navigate life beyond intimacy, while co-creating and weaving together from the heart.
We also have a surprise handpan set for you beautiful humans to enjoy at the end.
Get cozy and come along our journey with us.
This podcast is sponsored by: MUD/WTR
Use Code BLU to save $20 off your purchase (and receive free goodies too ;)
mudwtr.com/blu
MUD/WTR is a coffee alternative consisting of 100% organic cacao, ayurvedic herbs and functional mushrooms. With just a fraction of the caffeine found in coffee, you get energy, focus and immune support without the jitters, crash or poor sleep.
===
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
1:52 MUD/WTR Sponsor
3:05 Welcome
6:25 Andre
9:07 Navigating Grace in community
12:36 Holding a safe space to process
15:35 What it means to truly listen
20:22 What it means to take full ownership of your experience
24:08 The other relationship
24:49 Blu's reclaiming
30:05 Freedom in the face of any relationship
38:25 Connecting to something greater than ourselves
45:56 What has led to Andre's deep spiritual integration
51:06 Relationships as a clean mirror to see your reflection in the other
56:39 The importance of genuine brotherhood and reverence for the feminine
1:02:07 Listening to the greater intelligence
1:12:05 Freedom into unconditional love
1:18:55 Andre has been working on a course!
1:23:43 Thank you
1:25:23 Play and Pray
1:26:36 Closing
1:27:50 Playing the Handpan together
===
André Duqum developed a passion for story-telling through content creation early on when he realized the power it can have on people. Video storytelling has the capacity to be a tool that uplifts & inspires or it can spread unconsciousness and fear.
Having a strong calling to contribute to the rise in consciousness that is happening on this planet, he created Meraki Media - a production company aimed at uplifting the voices of societies’ game-changers, rule-breakers and light-workers.
Connect more with Andre: www.knowthyself.one
===
Blu is a motivational speaker, artist, musician & host of the Deja Blu Podcast with over 4 million listeners worldwide, interviewing some of the most prolific spiritual leaders of our generation. She is the co-founder of Florescence, a modern mystery school which connects a global community of women in sisterhood through online sharing circles & in-person events.
BLU:
/ bluofearth
www.bluofearth.com/
www.florescence.earth/
DONATE TO THE DEJA BLU PODCAST:
www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted...

Пікірлер: 125

@elaa1934 7 ай бұрын

Andre's biggest gift to himself and the world is his absolute presence and stillness, he offers so much with that alone. And Blue, you are everything your 7-year old version ever wanted you to become. Love this space.

@lornaelizabeth6290 7 ай бұрын

I recently met up with two of my previous partners. One from 10 years ago and one from 5 years ago. What I have realised is I had carried so much pain with me of my own abandonment or disappointment. We could speak openly, and what was nice and really liberating is that the love and respect actually never really went away. It was covered in dirt (fear & pain) it I hope will help me in my journey of healing. Thank you guys for everything you do! 💚🌀🔥

@HeartOfLightning 7 ай бұрын

That's a beautiful comment. Thanks for sharing and good luck with your healing journey 🙏💚🌞

@kimhoart 7 ай бұрын

This video made me tear up. I really felt Blu's love for Andre and I felt Andre's love for Blu. You guys are wonderful beings sharing your vulnerabilities and authenticity in this. It's an inspiration to see continuous growth from you guys. Thank you for your Beauty, Love and Unity individually and together. Keep weaving your magic for the world to see :) P.s. This is defo the way to play the hang drum. Your wavelengths are undeniable

@carlokashanre7392 7 ай бұрын

The handpan was the best! In those few musical minutes you transferred more of the beautiful energy of your relationship as it is now than in the hours of talking. Please make this a part of your future podcasts together. Thank you for showing love, beauty, and creativity.

@BabyMango 4 ай бұрын

I agree. That part made me cry! Every part felt like a metaphor for the stages of their love

@ashleyj2073 7 ай бұрын

Simply amazing when 2 luminaries can share their deepest insights and be unapologetically themselves….and that hand pan was the best cherry on top! Thanks as always to you both 🫶

@sejal01010 7 ай бұрын

The handpan playing and music was just sooo magical and so beautiful , Thank you Blu and Andre❤

@sallywashington3691 7 ай бұрын

I was wondering why Blu's set looks so much like Andre's. He built the darn thing!

@carblessliving5136 3 ай бұрын

I get the impression Blu was more into him that he was into her. He is very sober, guarded and measured in everything he says and he reflects on their relationship with a lot of distance, while she is still raw amd hurting. She's looking to him for affirmation and validation of the love she experienced in that relationship, but he's not giving it, his heart has severed ties to hers. This is actually painful to watch..my heart breaks for her..its clear that he's the one who ended it.

@bethelebony9388 25 күн бұрын

Yep I felt that vibe in their interview on Andre’s channel. Blu is so sweet, and expressive of her vulnerability towards him. She loves him still, but his heart is now distant from her 😢

@constancewalsh3646 3 ай бұрын

Less than a week ago I discovered Blu. I felt such an aversion, I knew there was something important for my own healing. Her long blond braids, beautiful shining face, her wacky laugh so like mine... and a perfection that was nearly intolerable. I was profoundly envious of her beauty, her incredible life-force, her success, her Airstream trailer! Then all of a sudden I see "Goodbye" on her site. The woman is Charlotte, unrecognizable from Blu. My heart melts. No braids, no gypsy dress; a plain, open, serious face. She is telling us she is leaving her interview life, and describes the life she dreams of. I melt, fall in love. She has described my own life exactly. Now she is here with Andre. What?? they were together?? It is she who lets it all bleed, and that laugh which I now adore punctuates words of honesty and emotion that blows me away. Without knowing anything of these two, I know everything. As for my initial resistance to her, I understand that it is for me to own the Golden Shadow that is the plight of so many women who deny their own beauty and creativity. All this happened fast and so rightly. May Blu find true love and happiness with her destined Beloved. With infinite thanks to these two giving souls, and to the big holy that guides us all.

@user-qg2je9ld2c 7 ай бұрын

All Andre’s beautiful qualities Blu emotionally expressed were so well articulated ..I felt the same sentiments as he beautifully hosted Doctor Joe ….pure perfection ! Thank You 🙏 Thank You 🙏 Thank You 🙏 I have Zero Social Media … Deja Blu and Know Thyself are my only true weekly gifts to myself. Today’s offering is the most magical double whammy of pure delight in every way! Thank You 🙏 Thank You 🙏 Thank you

@redpat8832 7 ай бұрын

I think even Dr Joe was blown away at just how tuned in Anddre is! 🙏❤️‍🔥

@user-qg2je9ld2c 7 ай бұрын

@@redpat8832 True ! Andre’s perfect in asking extremely deep, provocative,forward thinking questions & very attentively listening..” What Say You ? “ still makes me smile !

@greggdenike1376 4 ай бұрын

❤Kudos Andrei n Blu, Super Mirrors🎉

@foxfiregal 17 күн бұрын

34:00 Leadership from Behind the Throne ❤ Give unconditionally the opportunities we most desire for ourselves 👑

@anastasiiapavlova2840 7 ай бұрын

I absolutely love your emotions Blu! You are 100% open and not ashamed at all! Everyone should learn from you❤

@AwakeThriving 7 ай бұрын

Two wonderful humans, two beautiful, special souls ✨❤️❤️✨

@margaretbooth384 7 ай бұрын

This was like a healing therapy session for their relationship

@lilianabreceda3730 2 ай бұрын

Love it ❤ all people who we cross are catalyst. You guys are awesome❤

@dancingriverwonderful9786 5 ай бұрын

Andre is so humble sincere and genuine what a blessing to be in his presence 🙏🪷✨

@simoneerceg7116 7 ай бұрын

Thank you Andre for supporting and giving space to our men, it is so important and been scarce for too long. ❤❤❤

@sepidehnamvarrad9258 6 ай бұрын

The hand pan part brought tears to my eyes ❤

@ChristinaDRaju 7 ай бұрын

Two of my favorite souls together! I love Blu's playful Spirit and Andre's wisdom. Absolutely loved watching and listening, including the wonderful playing. You guys rock 💛

@myronschabe 7 ай бұрын

Yes, watching the journey of this relationship of being 'exes' is truly inspiring and interesting...I have always found it so strange that the default is that exes are not friends nor can you express love to them ( especially if they are in new partnerships) ...when one realizes there is no separate self this territorializing of the psyche is a very weird thing...a new paradigm is in order and I truly appreciate watching this modeled in the two of you. This is lion heart stuff :)

@lilywandawaugh 7 ай бұрын

Oh wow the handpan made me cry, the beautiful chemsitry between you is sooooo gorgeous ❤

@rosediamond39 7 ай бұрын

I found this one really beautiful and honest... I too like to stay in contact with men I've had an intimate connection with and we've both always found it extremely beneficial.... to actually see two people who are in the public eye doing it is quite encouraging. I can feel into the energy that was created in your partnership and it's soul mates... Divine partnership can be deceptive. Because truly our divine partner is ourselves... We all have MANY soul mates each with a special gift to give on our journey. A relationship that lasts a week can be just as potent as a marriage that lasts a lifetime. It's the quality of a connection over the quantity of time spent on it that seems most important. Can you accept another without trying to change them. Can you be vulnerable and let them see all of you without trying to hide your bad habits. This is the true test. How much can you love? Blu, Andre.... You both LOVE ❤❤ thank you for sharing x

@innerpeacewithdenise111 7 ай бұрын

This is so beautiful. Thank you both so much. So refreshing to hear the honesty, vulnerability, wisdom and truth, spoken respectfully from the heart with care, compassion and consideration for self and for the other and to feel the obvious love in the room. Well done you two! Truly grateful for you both ❤️❤️❤️

@healer81 7 ай бұрын

Just to let you know Blu, even though Andre channel is bigger, I'm a bigger fan of you and I find you have a lot more to offer. Not to take anything away from Andre

@sharaswitala6296 7 ай бұрын

I don’t watch Andre..sorry but I love Blu

@Infinityflowyoga 7 ай бұрын

Another intense cry for me. Your story and the energies you both bring to connection, enables kindred souls to connect deeply with themselves. We can relate in multiple if not all of these experiences at certain stages of our life. Beauty ❤

@Raven-nx8ex 7 ай бұрын

Such a lovely and heart felt delivery of what it is to be an awake human in the essence of it's nature through looking within and doing the work. This is such a sacred podcast full of gifts to help us all in whatever ways our souls may be reaching outward and inward and then communing with others and creating communities so that we may become our highest selves and live from our hearts. Thank you so deeply Blu and Andre. The resonance and tones from both your hands upon the handpan was divine.

@midigi6850 7 ай бұрын

I loved watching you both play the handspan, you make beautiful music together ❤

@jacquiroche6507 7 ай бұрын

thank you for your tears Blu

@DariaZeev 7 ай бұрын

Thank you Blu! It’s so good to have you back, I really like your podcast, you have wonderful energy. Best of luck ❤

@user-eq3ke2gk6c 6 ай бұрын

Omg when you were crying and he was just looking at you with Love... Sighhhh, so beautiful! Humanity at it's true loving core

@Alaskaventureswithbrodie 7 ай бұрын

Love all of this. Would have loved to hear a little more of Andre speaking. I feel like he has so much to offer as well as you Blu. 🙏🏻💜

@amandalemus 7 ай бұрын

Loved it!!!!!!! You are amazing Blu!!!! Love you! ❤❤❤❤❤

@reyjes 6 ай бұрын

Maybe because of my Scorpio sun, I found it so hard to watch this video without just bursting into tears every time you spoke, Blu; and I send you all of my love.

@ilyatownsend2824 7 ай бұрын

You guys😭this was ✨... And you just couldn't have wrapped it up in a better way

@femtheogens 7 ай бұрын

The end is awesome ❤

@amandalemus 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for gifting us this RELATIONSHIP MASTER CLASS! Love you both!!! ❤❤❤❤

@rimaz1111 7 ай бұрын

simply thank you 🙏🏼❤️

@andybalogh2252 7 ай бұрын

❤I love you both so much! I almost started crying for the hand pan but i stopped because i didn't want to ruin the energy💙 That filled me with so much life and i can't explain it💚 i just wanna give you both a squeeze! You guys are Superheros💜✨

@ronjasvane 7 ай бұрын

The brotherhood touches me deeply! I am so teared up, cause it makes me soooooo happy!

@angalmeida29 7 ай бұрын

We love you Blu and I resonate a lot with you ! Andre and Blu u both were meant to meet and help each other

@Terradecuralifecentre 7 ай бұрын

Tears of joy and heart expansion! What it feels like to be living with humility truth love... You both rock... ❤

@alicehousby7360 7 ай бұрын

Beautiful. Thank you both for putting more of the genuine good stuff out there... loved the handpan to top it off, magic souls weaving and creating more magic xx

@TTS8070 7 ай бұрын

Good lawwwd my tears rolled right along with yours ❤ such love!!!! Y’all are two very special souls!

@BELLANONNA2011 7 ай бұрын

So inspirational guys ❤

@codesofwisdom 7 ай бұрын

You guys created pure magic at the end there! Thank you sharing your gifts Andre & Blu

@kendylouwhoo 7 ай бұрын

Blu, I love your tears. They mean so much to me to witness that openness and beauty ❤

@thegaiaguardian144 7 ай бұрын

Your podcasts get me every time! Always tears of gratitude flow for the way you both share. Magnificent lights illuminating the world. Deep bow and love to you both!

@erikahespinozah5160 7 ай бұрын

Really appreciate this conversation. Thank you both. 🙌

@coolbreeze5683 7 ай бұрын

Looking forward to watching this. I've watched a few of Andre's interviews on his channel and realized I don't know too much about him since he does a great job at making the interviews about his guests and hasn't talked too much about himself. He's such a calm and lovely soul.

@risperkariuki1459 6 ай бұрын

Beautiful 😍. Thank you so much.

@nathananderson8720 7 ай бұрын

This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my KZfaq channel 9 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,307 subs and > 1,000 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.

@ForestChaplain 7 ай бұрын

Yes! Life is music and poetry, no need to chase, expresssssssss yo’ Self ❤

@sherrilawrence662 7 ай бұрын

SO beautiful and you're right...much needed in the world 🌎 the heart centered vulnerability and courage shown here in this episode ❤

@ginap.7431 7 ай бұрын

Emphasis on “GIFTS!” This conversation , as well as so many others you each have through your own podcasts, are so reaffirming snd nurturing to my soul… thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Funny you spoke of funhouse mirrors.. two days ago I was moving through a challenging process and journaled about funhouse-mirror reflections. Every opportunity I have to reflect on and transmute how I respond to these challenging moments with someone I love dearly is a gift and also is an opportunity to be the up-leveled change I wish to see and also attract more of into my life, as you both (each) have. So very inspiring❤

@souljourney937 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing....it's always a pleasure and so refreshing to see how relationships can end and continue on as a different kind of genuine love! Thank you for playing the handpan it was beautiful 😍

@mikahakk1 6 ай бұрын

Awesome. Displaying your experiences here enables so much learning for all.

@empowerment.artist 7 ай бұрын

How did André discover self development? Was he always interested in the esoteric or did something wake him up? How was it for him to go through the excruciating pain of ego death(s)? What has been his biggest struggles in life, and what does he fear the most? For many of us, the 10-15 years of inner work mainly deals with deep trauma. And if there are struggles with focus and with procrastination over a long time whilst doing attempts at the inner work, meditating daily and cutting out an array of stimuli, it's likely because there is more in the shadow to tidy up. Some journeys to inner or outer success, (or hopefully both in harmony) are longer than other's and that's OK.

@user-qg2je9ld2c 7 ай бұрын

Woooooooooo Hooooooooo! Merci Beaucoup 🙏

@veneciavortex 7 ай бұрын

15 minutes in and wow… we’ll said! such a beautiful conversation exploring and articulating what listening is, what our embodied loving nature looks like and how it acts

@serious_russian2270 6 ай бұрын

So funny Blu mentioned her signs fighting one another. I also feel like the Aries in me is like "Whaaaa lets laught and play and communicate and be open and then Aquarius in me gets tired of that stuff, shuts me down from getting together with people in order to restore that social battery. So relatable

@crystalallen1072 7 ай бұрын

Thankyou you so much Beautiful to witness......!

@SoulWhisperCreations 6 ай бұрын

So beautiful✨So healing💖The handpan session was deeply powerful to witness... More than I could ever express into words... With so much love and gratitude to you both...Thank you🙏

@johanaloha 7 ай бұрын

No one is special because we are each and all Unique. You are 2 very intelligent and loving unique beings so it makes this (almost intimate) conversation very special and highly vibrant. Thank you for sharing and let's all let go of the past to welcome the evolution of our hypersensitivity, again and again! 🎉🎉

@ronjasvane 7 ай бұрын

Yes! and we want more of André

@sharaswitala6296 7 ай бұрын

No thanks..Andre is irritating and I just feel so much spiritual ego..just saying

@ronjasvane 7 ай бұрын

Really? That's interesting@@sharaswitala6296

@Kris_-yq9xv 6 ай бұрын

If every man in this world had at least half of André's self awareness, self reflection, discipline in life and love to give, this world would be already such a great place to live. And Iam not putting him on a pedestal, we are all human with our own flows. Just saying. ❤️

@Sweet-Aloha 7 ай бұрын

phenomenal ✨🎶❤️‍🔥🎶✨

@sharaswitala6296 6 ай бұрын

He seems so closed and guarded in the heart…blu wide open

@carblessliving5136 3 ай бұрын

I also see that. He's counts every word and is aware that online content lives forever, and she's just pouring her heart out.

@anammarreiros 7 ай бұрын

Genuinely beautiful ❤ both of you

@corinaprinkeycp 7 ай бұрын

💜 beautiful

@sharaswitala6296 7 ай бұрын

Blue..your all heart and soul. You have respect for him but the heart is guarded, just saying

@debrajosephs 6 ай бұрын

Haven't seen a hand pan before. Very cool.

@A_Womans_Worth 7 ай бұрын

Handpan session was fire, what did I even just watch 🤯

@beautyandthesavage 7 ай бұрын

♡

@Milei1000 7 ай бұрын

Anybody watching this in Paris? :) Would like to connect with like-minded people.

@magik-mana 7 ай бұрын

Hello lovely person in Paris seeking beautiful caring people. I'm a southerner living close to Béziers so a bit too far for a local share and I very rarely go to Paris but I just wanted to wish you the best in finding your circle. 🔹️🟢🔹️

@idabergmann5270 7 ай бұрын

people share (if they share) what they've got. so blu, in my eyes, you have so much love and you are so generous, honest, beautiful, funny, you are the high priestess in my eyes, the healer, the artist, so feminine, longing to be the empress - and i wish you so much this perfect match, this man who is ready and strong and wonderful. when you feel not good enough in a relationship, it's of course honorable and important to take full ownership, and it also shows that something is not quite right (for ex. if one person in the relationship is always interested in others... they are not ready and they are not the ones). so, you learn your lesson and find a person who knows what he/she wants. andre, for me, was more the polished version here and not really ready to share more than his wisdom, haha, he 'only' shared his wisdom. but, he was not vulnerable at all and not truly honest. but/and he has other things to offer and he shared that and that is a lot (and feels a little rigid to me.. [g] sorry, i've this protective part in me.. and you made blu cry) thank you both. love 💜

@idabergmann5270 7 ай бұрын

the music at the end was amazing ❤

@sharaswitala6296 6 ай бұрын

He’s not ready he’s still hurt or working on it

@jojothelion94 7 ай бұрын

The hand pan was very impressive for the majority of the performance

@achyleftistwitch 7 ай бұрын

I'm a Scorpio rising, and Leo sun so Blu and I can relate a bit 😅😅

@goddess9 7 ай бұрын

great podcast. wish andre got to speak more though :D

@alexandrasonya7951 7 ай бұрын

Beauties❤

@TriaaSimanis 7 ай бұрын

hello, I just followed your Chanel.🤩 If I may ask, can you show me both of your hearing aids?🙏

@mariahalizee 7 ай бұрын

i found blu through aubrey marcus and have been following her ever since. soooo happy to see your content again. thank you for sharing parts of you with us 🖤

@renee7113 7 ай бұрын

Same and I found Andre through blu and his podcast is amazing also.

@evawilldrive 6 ай бұрын

if there is a genuine love it is self love.

@dorispolzhofer9288 7 ай бұрын

❤

@madeleinemoreland277 7 ай бұрын

Hey Blu, long time listener. I really appreciate your soul and the content of your work. I hear what you are saying about the middle east and how your work for the collective is working on yourself and within your communities, but that sounds like spiritual bypass to me. I hope you reflect and come to a new conclusion about how you can use your voice to breathe love and empathy into human issues. genocide is not nuanced, and it is okay to call out genocide for what it is... sending love ❤️ 🍉 edit: Thank you for speaking out on instagram. thank you.

@ednilean 7 ай бұрын

💕💕💕💕

@divinegraphicdesigns 6 ай бұрын

🙏🙏🙏

@kbadgie 7 ай бұрын

♥

@BlackCrowesB-Sides 7 ай бұрын

Great podcast, audio could be louder :) Tried mastering the audio track? I can help if you need :) Cheers!

@MicheleGuillemette-vj5fd 7 ай бұрын

🇨🇦

@ThaTurdBurglar 7 ай бұрын

I was once in love

@xonoghoroe9848 7 ай бұрын

Don’t fear losing your romantic partners. Who’s to say once you meet up again spirit side they’ll even look like the “form” they took for their human experience. That’s what I recently came to.

@katiewennechukthomas 5 ай бұрын

I don't believe for a minute she's over him. It seems she wants to win him back through this very conversation. I don't blame her but sheesh!

@evawilldrive 6 ай бұрын

so have you listened to yourself talking about him from the perspective as if you are talking to yourself?

@konibogi 7 ай бұрын

@blisswkc3344 Ай бұрын

💯☘️♾☮️🙌♥️💖❤️🙏😇🌈🍀🙇🏽‍♀️

@silnthunder 6 ай бұрын

JUST MEET UP WITH 6, 7 OR 8 OF YOUR FRIENDS LLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I LOVE YOU HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS, BUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. YALL ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO VERY "BLESSED" IN YOUR GROUPS AND THAT, AND YEAH MAYBE YOU ARE RARE, HOW DOES THAT ACTUALLY HELP ????????????

@evawilldrive 6 ай бұрын

yall are too much into dialogues, to sometimes be aware of: I believe in myself, I am happy to be me. I am thankful for myself. I respect Myself. I love myself. I accept myself compeltely. I take a good care of myself. I gratefully create (and co create) a quality holistically healthy lifestyle. I am gratefully succedeeing. I BLESS MYSSELF!. I AM perfect in MY Perfection. love u i'll shut up now.

@shiningone--Dijana 7 ай бұрын

9:23 the love in his eyes !

@Kylie-wc4gx 7 ай бұрын

So, who decided to break it off?

@sharaswitala6296 7 ай бұрын

Doesn’t matter really.. but I think Blu really used it to heal.Andre wants to be a sage star

@Kylie-wc4gx 7 ай бұрын

@@sharaswitala6296 but I want that hot tea to sip on

@carblessliving5136 3 ай бұрын

Looking at how they interact, it seems to me like Blu is still in love with him and he's totally over her. I suspect he broke it off. I watched their joint interview on his channel and she seems quite clingy and needed a lot of validation from him during their relationhip and all he wanted was an equal partner, not a "fan girl". Even in this interview she looks like she wants him back and he has a lot of distance already.

@evawilldrive 6 ай бұрын

i've had enough of you speaking for anybody else but only be responsible for yourself: responsible for oneself in words, spoken and thought words, will get all the mental people to practice respectfully on all other levels as well, on a physical, emotional, and any psychic level. and you still all need to pay me. not just you but all of you.

@ronjasvane 7 ай бұрын

I can't help but feeling that you are so beautiful together, so why on earth are you not in a romantic relationship? :D