I suppose you could put it like that. I put myself in situations where people look at me and say, "What do you think, you're the savior?". I see the spite in their eyes when I want them to stop seeking my help and start facing their own problems themselves so they can actually learn from their own mistakes. For some reason, it isn't as easy for people to pick up the broken pieces and build something tangible to heal their selves with as it is for me. Idk Y. I wish them all well though, as I do all for all of you here. God Bless you all and thank you Wenzes. You are amazing!

😁LoL, I can't remember my life ever being easy, not even in my early childhood. For me life has always been a sink or swim situation. The 1 lucky break I've gotten is that I either always feel being lonely or actually never feel bein' lonely. Ever since I can remember I never did mind playing on my own. Unfortunately I've gotten a baby brother and was forced by my parents to play with him, whether I wanted to or not. 😕So at home, where I should be safe, I never had any alone time. 🧠Another thing that complicated my life was that at an early age I intuitively discovered the difference between abstract concrete so it was easy to notice that while people say yes, they actually mean no. Which eventually lead to me not trusting anything other people said (knowledge) and put more trust in my own experience. So at around 7 I realised at an instinctual level that safety is an illusion, that *FEELING* safe literally has nothing to do with actually *BEING* safe. I guess that to non-INFJ life is either black or white where either black=safe or white=safe, while to me everything is gray and not safe. 😎Which as a child isn't easy to cope with, but I eventually learned to deal with this. Now it is easy for me to put everything into words and have my own philosophy, but when I was a child I only had abstract notions that either felt right or wrong.

Even before I knew I was an INFJ-T I thought and people around me thought my life was soo much harder!

I feel like it doesn't make it easier to talk to other INFJ's, because we push everyone to be better than they currently are, and that can get irritating lol

@@rjh7700 That's why I quit considering others pessimistic outlooks. They want to be "misery loves company" instead of "loneliness loves company."

By the way, my favorite book on systematic assertiveness training (WHEN I SAY NO I FEEL GUILTY VOL.2) the author gives one of our "Assertive Rights" as the right to say "I don't know.". Sometimes it needs to be said.

Your description fits me and my interactions with others (specifically one) to a tee right down to the anger(rage) I've encountered when I did decline by saying I don't know and not budging from what I was doing. Incredible the disgust that has arisen from that person(s). As you said my immediate assistance is expected, demanded etc. I don't stand my ground enough.

So. Important.

Try getting those same people to help an INFJ out. Probably not going to happen.

@@kencornwell Will never happen.

I absolutely love that, I'm going to refer yo if many times now, thank you 😊

​@@rachaelsummers7686 yes I love that too and at age 66 I have found that it is true. In the past I have gone to the nth degree to make sure something I already believed was true was actually true. Now because of life experience, I look at the situation, know what I should do or not and actually make the decision without having to live it. That recognition allows me to move forward without having to fight battles not worth my time 😊

❤️

I am also 60. Nope, you are not alone! lol

I'm 57 and finally learning about myself thanks to this wonderful lady.

But why so many people tell their selves , proudly they are InFJ.? For me sometimes I want to hide it. Because it so complicated and sometimes its too weak

consider yourself very lucky beeing an INFJ❤❤❤

I remember the first time I found out about this personality category system, I "really" thought I was completely alone in this (I was disappointed 🤣) . There are difficult times but also great times , but I learn more in difficulty

From one INFJ to another: have courage! 😃😃😃

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing ok.

We're all guilty of looking for things in all the wrong places. Were we should've looked is under our own nose. Your home is inside you, it's in your heart.

@@fazzaustralia8932 I agree, but it does get lonely sometimes.

@@MaryAYoung Yes it does.

Most restaurants would kick us out..

Hi Jason, I'm much older than you and still learning and growing. I recently converted to Catholic after reading the Catholic mystics for many years. They understand the meaning, gifts, and purpose of suffering. Also, realize that your relationship issues may not be your fault. After becoming widowed and abandoned by family, I've been shocked to realize how prevalent narcissism is, and how my own codependency plays into that. Ross Rosenberg is helpful if this applies to you. Blessings to you 🙏💝🌿

Nope, that’s not accurate. I can tell you for a sure fact that you may be able to get what you want in terms of what you want, not only salary but also scheduling/free time etc. when you wanted to be kept. It doesn’t have a whole lot to do about exact type but everyone is basically creating a personal brand. There’s some pointers that may help someone. Fundamentally, you have to be good at your job obviously but it’s more than that. It’s about perceived value as well which involves being a decent and high value person. (Not a pushover though) What I mean is you have to rise above a lot of things, like gossip, politics, complaining etc. and you need to have good manners and follow adequate social protocol. For instance, if you land up working with a person that you don’t normally work with. After, you should send them a msg/tell them that you appreciated working together, thank them for everything and say something like you would be happy to work together in the future.. even if they didn’t do much. Don’t ever engage in gossiping or character assassination of anyone no matter what, this is something that lowers your value and is simply being a bad person. If you see everyone gossiping don’t lower yourself to that level and don’t engage, even if you don’t particularly like the person they’re gossiping about, that does not justify gossiping and who wants to even know anything unpleasant about others. Don’t tell people how you feel about others, I know some people just know how to get under your skin but you need to take your venting outside somewhere else. Even if you happen to work with a person that you know is very difficult, and someone else mentions one of their negative traits to you, don’t engage in that as well. Say something like, ‘Interesting, sorry to hear that was your experience, working with me, I found this….’ and mention something positive that you found, because everyone has something positive. So don’t lie but protect everyone’s honor and reputation. Even if the other person never finds out, it doesn’t matter because it’s about maintaining your integrity. If someone tells you something unfairly negative that others believe about you, don’t react or pry even if it’s actually irritating. You need to be focused, honest, fair, kind, willing to help and motivate others to improve. From people you work with, you can ask and be appreciative of feedback which you then adopt if appropriate. And try to not lose your temper, I can remember 3 times I lost my temper and it felt like it undoes your value slightly. This really works over time for many, my husband also finds it very useful to apply. There’s not much to lose either way.

There are some INFJ groups on Facebook you can join. There is also the mobile app Boo where you can see the MBTI of the person you want to interact with. In the beginning it is interesting because of how fast you can connect to the other INFJ, but soon it becomes boring. It is like talking with yourself 😂 Also, we INFJ present ourselves to the world as open-minded people, but in reality, we are quite inflexible when it comes to accepting somebody else's advice. I prefer to talk to INFP. At least they can offer a very interesting prospective of the world and at the same time they are very skilled in entertaining you with their fun.

Much appreciated boss man

Hi Gia, I know you are asking help from Wenzes but if it is all right for you I would like to say sth on this as a child of an ESTP. If it started hurting this much, self transformation is about to start :) I wish you all the best!

@@MugeBSozer Thank you! What do you mean when you say it will cause self-transformation if you don't mind sharing?

@@iona-airen there are many videos from Wenzes on how to improve our lives. I hope they help you.

Your timing is Amazing.

Her timing can be eerie at times, huh!? lol

What is 1% of 8 billion? It's not your hometown... it's the internet.

Oh, and there are mistypes, and other types also like her videos, too, etc. Plenty of reasons. I very much believe that ISTPs could benefit from this kind of advice, as well.