Shaking and crying that the movies have NEVER depicted Bond’s ICONIC denim jacket with the leather patches

"I don't like eggs" said James Bond, MI5 agent, as he stood up from the table. Slipping on his shoulder holster, he briefly checked to make sure his signature weapon, a Glock 17, was secure and in place before smoothing over his bright red hair. First he'd have to get briefed by U on his mission, he thought, before heading over to the dry cleaners in his Vauxhall Velox to pick up his favorite formal outfit, a purple three-piece, and looking forward to his preferred libation; round after round of Jell-O shots.

One of the most frustrating things for me about this book is that what could have been an exciting plot element involving the shooting down of a passenger jet is simply mentioned as an afterthought in the last few pages. We could have had an exciting mid-air climax rather than the damp squib we ended up with.

Literary Bond liking eggs is the only thing that I know about Bond in the novels, so to hear him say that he hates eggs is very odd. It would be like movie Bond ordering a Guinness and would rather drive around exotic locations in a Fiat Doblo

13:10 "Keep the Order or Lenin, M- they already gave me one for the Zorin thing"

The "Moonraker" funko pop in the background 🙌🏻

It's charting the long term effect on special agents and their taste buds. Bond loves eggs in the Fleming novels, then he doesn't like them in the Gardner novels. By the Benson novels he is probably into Pot Noodles...

EA Games should make a video game adaptation for all the Gardner books lol.

The "is he / isn't he a Nazi" might also be inspired by the capture and arrest by Mossad of Adolf Eichmann, architect of the Holocaust who was hiding in Argentina. While they got the real man, there was briefly controversy over his identity at the time and it inspired a 1975 movie called "The Man in the Glass Booth" (which itself inspired an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine).

I love finding channels that are super super niche like this one, great Bond content man. Love it!

Hi Calvin, I recently read Horowitz's Trigger Mortis for the first time. It is interesting you mentioned in this video about invoking real life tragedies because (without mentioning spoilers) there is a chapter in Trigger Mortis involving a very detailed and often horrific account of a historic real life atrocity. I thought it was quite impactful especially as I'd never even heard of it before.

Fun fact: The American publisher of Gardner’s Bond books was so perturbed that he hadn’t stuck to the established formula that they did a heavy edit on it for the release on this side of the Pond. Something I only learned recently, which led to my picking up the UK edition (likely the one who’ve read) via Book Depository just before they closed down. I’d hoped to read it before the video came out but no such luck! I do have to say that Gardner had a career of espionage novels outside of Bond, which is part of how he landed the gig to start with and that he kept up while also writing his Bond books. That said, and with the added caveat that it’s been a good 15 years since I’ve read his novels by and large, Gardner struck me as an odd choice for a Bond continuation author. It’s never a world he seemed entirely comfortable writing in and his characterizations of Bond (partly by design) wandered far out of Fleming’s character. To the point that, as was the case with this one especially, they were more books featuring a spy named James Bond than James Bond books. Either way, this was an interesting experiment of a Bond book, whether it worked out or not.

As a fellow completist, it's always nice seeing that number tick lower and lower! Only 5 more to go, and then we're into Benson. And before you know it we'll be blasting through all the later books! It's funny how you've been stuck with Gardner for so long, and soon you'll be flitting from author to author with each new book!

So you’re saying you loved it

Yes, I agree it is a strange book. The first half is mostly set-up through briefings, I have no idea why French and Israeli agents were included, and it is never really explained why the KGB needed foreign agents to help infiltrate this terrorist group. Bond seems to be on autopilot ; he rarely reflects or analyses what happened or might happen, and I think this adds to how convoluted the narrative often seems.

13:41 Very good point man. I mean if the writer or artist won't put in the effort and keep in frame of mind that this is an established franchise and universe then maybe, then comes the question of, why carry on writing if you don't enjoy or care about that world? 15:22 no worries man, I think its great that your reading them in order. Although most of us experienced watching Bond movies in non chronological order, its nice to do at least the books in order to get a more nuanced experience! Heck, when watching Bond movies in order on ITV's '00Heaven season' in summer 1999, my perception of what Bond was changed quite dramatically! :) all the best

I can't help but wonder if Gardner meant _boiled_ eggs in that chapter you read out. You rightly point out that Bond practically lives off scrambled eggs throughout the Fleming novels. But in _Live And Let Die_ and _From Russia With Love,_ we learn that Bond is not the biggest fan of boiled eggs - hating egg whites, finding the very idea of a 'perfect' boiled egg amusing, and thinking the way they are cooked in America to look disgusting. Gardner even has another scene in which Nina notes that Bond is 'fussy' about the way boiled eggs are cooked. But in the passage you read out, he did not specify.

Another Gardner, find these so funny, love the reviews can’t wait, hope there’s no suspicious rugs

Bond wears a denim jacket with leather patches?! Did Gardner imagine him being played by Burt Reynolds?! Does Bond also love snakeskin boots? And line dancing? 😂

Thank you Calvin for reading these books so I never have to... I think I'd have lost my marbles way earlier in the series, but your reviews are at least always entertaining and humorous!

Glad to see how far down the rabbit hole I am at the Bonds lack of egg liking. I thought the same when I read it. So I’m hear for a several minute rant at that 😂

Hi Calvin, A bit off topic... I've been doing a whole Bond marathon during the past couple of months. As a Bavarian guy, I'm therefore watching the German dub which sometimes seems to differ from the original version. I found out a couple of funfacts which could be interesting for you concerning some plot holes you complained about in the past 1. TMWTGG While leaving the karate school by car and without Bond, Hip argues that he "has to save the girls" before coming back for James' rescue. I don't know if he does this in the English Version aswell but it could explain his weird actions. 2. Moonraker After their return to earth, the captain of the space marines mentiones that they saved two survivors: A tall man and a small woman It is therefore more or less canon that Jaws and Dolly definitely survived. 3. The living Daylights While fighting against Bond, Whitaker mentiones that he's wearing a bulletproof jacket and that James' shots are therefore useless. It is not true that Bond only went for the head (which would seem quite stupid concerning that Whitaker is only carrying a small shield) - but his enemy was invincible anyways... As I've only watched the German dub, I don't know if any of that is news to you. My suggestion that the versions could differ is only based on older reviews, comments and debates of yours. Greetings from Bavaria!

Well done for getting through The Man From Barbarossa...I think it took me 3 attempts before I did so. I like the Gardner Bond novels, but this is certainly a tedious entry in his series. I've always thought it strange that this was Gardner's favourite of his Bond novels, when it is widely regarded as the least enjoyable of his books by Bond fans.

I'm surprised Gardner didn't say that Bond has always carried a Berretta

Hi Calvin, and thanks for another very enjoyable review. As I have previously posted, I fully agree with your assessments of the strengths and weaknesses of the John Gardner Bond novels. To be completely fair though, Fleming himself was sometimes less than consistent when chronicling Bonds gustatory preferences. One example - In an early novel Fleming tells us that when between assignments in England Bond eats a good deal of " cold roast beef". However in You Only Live Twice, when Tanaka inquires if Bond likes beef Bond replies - stolidly, we are told - " No, I do not." Granted, Bond is newly traumatized by the murder of Tracy in the previous book. Perhaps they served beef at the wedding reception?

Im really glad somebody finally did reviews of Gardner’s work. I started reading Gardners Bond Novels in the late 80s while recovering from Mononucleosis. I couldn’t finish my home school studies but i read his novels voraciously😂 I never got to meet him but i did get a signed copy of The Man from Barbarossa from when he did a book talk/signing in Springfield, VA in 1991. I still have all his novels. Thanks again.

I think you're going to love the Benson and Horowitz novels, when you get there!

Thanks Calvin for the entertaining book reviews. I’ve tried but I’m not a big fan of Gardner’s Bond books. I recall enjoying his Boysie Oakes books more. Some day you should check out The Liquidator, it’s a mid 60s spy film based on the first Boysie Oakes book. The film stars Rod Taylor and Jill St. John in a role prior to DAF. It also sports a theme song belted out by Shirley Bassey that sounds like a cousin to Goldfinger. Cheers!

14:59 Thank you for doing these reviews and sticking at it as Gardner rarely gets talked about. I've watched all the novel reviews back when you were covering the original Fleming work and really enjoy them. At least the end is in sight of Gardner and more interesting stuff [especially when you reach the 'guest author' stage] is to come.

Yeah I tried reading it years ago and couldn't get through it. In case it makes you feel any better, the next one, Death is Forever, was one of my very favorite! I read that several times. I think we all agree that "Nobody Lives Forever" was the best. Yeah I can see "Brokenclaw" as #2. The rest were so convoluted (Role of Honor), dull (Licence Renewed), or weird (For Special Services...'gift of a daughter'??? I mean WTF??)

Thanks for the review. TBH I just cannot get interested in the Gardner novels. With the exception of LTK, GE and License Renewed, I’ve only read two Bond books of his and I gave up, and it is thanks to your reviews that have steered me away from pursuing the Gardner novels. I really cannot wait for your reviews of the post Benson era, when with the exception of Young Bond (which I’ve not read) and Carte Blanche (good luck with that one) were all set during the Fleming timeline.

I’m a fan of your channel and appreciate the fact that you’re reviewing all of Gardner’s books. I have read everything before and after Gardner and only read his first two. I should say Gardner has been the only person in the world who made me question my love of Bond… Kudos to you for persevering this long!

You have now outpaced me. I read two thirds of this one on my last holiday but somehow never finished it after returning home.

I keep a log of all the books I read, so I can tell you I read this book from 23/1/2020 to 29/1/2020. I can remember absolutely nothing from this book. I can remember where I was when I read it: I was working in the post room of a mobile phone company's head office, and I read it on my commute. Because it was January it was already dark by the time I got off work, and it was those halycon days of early 2020 where there were some rumblings of a virus in China or something but it probably wouldn't amount to much. But who cares? The new Bond film is only a couple of weeks away! But as for the book itself? Well I remember thinking it was cool reading something written during the time the USSR was collapsing. Often in history events are summarised in a few sentences (The USSR existed - then it didn't anymore) so reading something written during that time of uncertainty was a nice little time capsule. But as for the characters and events? All flushed out the memory chute. Which is odd for me - often when I look at a book I've read I can remember how the events played out in my head and I can recall my general thoughts on the book. I mean, I can do so for the next five Gardners. As I recall there's a rather cringey sex scene at one point? But that's not saying much because sex scenes are always cringey in prose because they describe everything in more detail than you ever want to know. Maybe this has stuck in my mind because, as I said, I was reading it on the train so I felt really weird reading it in public. But maybe such a scene was in one of the other Gardners.

I've binged all your John Gardner videos today. As a lazy completist myself I'm genuinely so grateful to you for persevering where others fear to tread 😅

Great video!!! Looove your book reviews! Keep ´em coming! Go on like that Calvin!

You should read/do some of the james bond newspaper comic strips because those can go totally bananas, like one story has a woman getting murdered by being bitten in the butt by a poisoned target seeking bat.

When i read these books i was never sure that Gardner understood what he was trying to do or that he understood who Bond is.

I have read all the John Gardner books up to seafire. I just can't bring myself to continue. You are correct on all accounts with Death is Forever. I had to keep a character sheet to keep all the names in line. It looked like I was trying to solve a murder.

My favourite John Gardner book has got to be Goldeneye I just loved the film and wanted to read the book adaptation 👍🏻

Hey so this is a weird suggestion, but there was this book series when I was a kid called Alex Rider, that was basically just James Bond for kids, which sounds dumb, but ultimately the only thing about it that was kid friendly was the toneing down of sex, while keeping the violence and even increasing it sometimes. The general idea is that this kid gets forced into MI6 because his uncle was their top agent and they needed a kid to sneak into a rich psychopaths compound because they think he is suspicious, and find out that he's trying to kill all the kids in britan with modified anthrax because he got bullied as a child. The rest of the series is full of even more crazy plots, like a nazi scientist trying to clone himself, or a rich guy crashing his own space satellite into a city to frame eco terrorists for it to decredit green energy. If you ever run out of bond books, it could make for a fun video idea.

Thanks Calvin! I love these gardener reviews! I have a tough time with them now, but in the 90’s as a teen I think I’d have loved them. And they still scratch a bit of the itch for me!

I remember a KZfaqr (possibly the Critical Drinker?) saying once that he wouldn't do book reviews because they don't really work on KZfaq. These Gardner book reviews really prove him wrong, as far as I'm concerned - I've never really thought about them before, but I always look forward to one of your videos about them, now!

Love your vids. Would love to see the Gardner books as movies

Love it, Calvin

Hey Calvin, love your videos. I have to admit, this is one of , if not my favorite Gardner novel. It is the first one i read of his though, so maybe a bit of nostalgia. However, I must say the egg comment is completely not Bond lol really makes you wonder if Gardner read some of the Fleming stories all the way through or just had like a list of highlights from the novels lol anyway loved the video.

Only three more of John Gardner's 007 novels before his second & final film novelization: *"GoldenEye",* the penultimate book of his novel series.

You've actually been far kinder to Gardner's novels as a whole than I am but yeah, this is my least favourite of his as well. The worst of a pretty bad bunch as far as I'm concerned. Well done for persevering. And with the change in Bond not liking bacon and eggs, I'm *sure* that Fleming once said Bond hated tea and Gardner has him quaffing it in copious amounts, but I might be misremembering that. It's been a long time since I read the Fleming books and even longer since I've read the Gardners, and I'm not rushing to re-read the latter at all

You're a brave man. I gave up on Gardner's Bond work long before this book came along...

I hope the denim jacket appears in the next Bond movie.

As much as I enjoyed the Gardner novels, the Bensons are a step up. The Union trilogy is brilliant.

Tom Clancy's 'The Sum of All Fears' which includes a plot thread about paranoia over the leadership of the Soviet Union featuring a Gorbachev figure was released on 14 August 1991. 5 days later on the 19th August, the coup d'etat attempted against Gorbachev began [which was foiled 2 days later]. Certainly Clancy with 'Sum' made far more impact than Gardner's book that year about the collapsing Soviet Union!

I'm actually amazed that you have never heard of Operation Barbarossa.

I'd like to do a Usual Suspects Reveal on this and looking at the books behind you, the next Bond novel will be: Shaken Bullets.

Once again we agree, Calvin.

Funnily enough as I was watching this review I received an email from Amazon with recommended books, and one of them was "The Man From Barbarossa"

I used to think you were doing God's work reading all the Gardner books, but now I suspect you might just be a Fleming-esque masochist. But your videos are brilliant and I love them.

"We're still doing this." 😂😂😂

While i havent read all the gardner books the next three you are going to read are gonna be amazing as they are some of my faves

I'm from Cleveland. Is that our first shout-out on this channel? 😂

Like the pandemic, we will get through this! 5 and counting… looking forward to brighter days ahead

Says a lot about how well the Gardner books sink in that you didn't remember the "Bond teams up with the KGB and Mossad and goes to the Finnish boarder for Nazi related intrigue" stuff was the writer rehashing Icebreaker.

Is Skyfall still your All Time High? Also, god help me i love QOS and Spectre, have a therapist i can talk to?

Hi Calvin Great video as always Yes it it not a good Bond novel I disliked it when I read it brand new. I had enjoyed most of the Gardner books up to the point you are at. You have four left including The Goldeneye novelization

Hi Calvin. You'll never believe it, but I got the job writing the next script for the Bond movies! Here is the memo: "Dear Dan, owing to a certain number of megalomaniacs running round the place building space bases and underground tunnels etc, we regret that you'll have to reboot the series from scratch. That way, Muskazon won't be able to sue us. Yours, ever loving and kisses, Babs." So here it is. [Pre-Titles][Scene 1] The Bond theme ends with a huge explosion. Fleming wakes up from a nightmare, were he was falling down an endless ravine. He drags one hand through his greasy wavy hair with one hand, while lightning a cigarette with the other. Then takes a medicinal dose of single malt, which still has last night's cigarette ash floating at the bottom of it. He exhales exhaustedly, before slowly rising from the couch, collecting his well tailored jacket and trench coat draped on the stand. Cycling from his flat in Highgate, the streets of London are a sea of smoke and rubble. Bombed out buildings still blazing, gas mains still exploding, people still screaming and exhausted from the night before. As he cuts down a side alley, suddenly Fleming hears the noise of a buzz bomb approaching. Looking this way and that, he races down the blazing alley hoping to out run it. Too late, he sees that it is in front of him, and quickly turns back in the opposite direction, just as the engines stop and the bomb lands behind him, blowing up the exit to the alley. In front of him, a wall collapses. He is trapped. Eventually a window explodes next to him, and he pulls the bike into a warehouse, and rides through it as everything collapses. Eventually riding out through the top deck of a bus that has crashed into the side of the building, and clattering down the steep spiral steps back to the street. By now the bikes flaming tyres have completely melted, and he stumbles off towards the city. < Main Titles> [Video Game Version: He gets into a WW1 tank and rampages through the city]

I need to starting reading so I can enjoy this videos.

This is Gardner really trying for a LeCarre type novel and it just doesn’t work for a Bond adventure. It goes in fits and spurts but it drags terribly and like you say it feels bloated and doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’ve not read the UK text which is supposed to be longer than the US text. There are some good bits but Death is Forever is his best later novel and has some surprising energy to it in spite of still having Gardner cliches.

Great review my friend, I noticed your Folio 007 collection on your shelf, may I ask if you’ve pre ordered the Folio special edition of Casino Royale? at £500, it’s a snip! LOL, cheers!

Out of all the iterations of Bond, literary Bond is always my favorite and yes, the Gardner run had some highlights but was overall very bland. They later novels had an interesting concept that I enjoyed in a love interest of Bond's turning into a partner and fiancé (spanning a few books) but the way Gardner ended it was so frustrating.

Strong man 💪 Mervellue Vines says you need to get your car back to the office this morning good day sir

I can't wait for you to get to Raymond Benson.

Hey Calvin couldnt agree more this was imoho the worst of the Gardners. Also lost track in the middle Portion of the book on what I was actually reading. Cant really say that the Gardners are getting better though. Sorry😅! Glad to hear btw that I am not the only one who is reading the books in order! I ve finished the Bensons now and must say that they are much better than the Gardners again imo. Make sure that you get the Gardner collection that include the short stories. Blast from the past is a very interesting one.

🎶 She said, there's something in the woodshed And I can hear it breathing It's such an eerie feeling, darling 🎶 .... Yes there is something in the woodshed, it's James Bond shooting off someone's face!

I think it's typical Gardner. There's a few good ideas but I didn't see it as a major departure. JG does continue to make Bond seem like a suspect and fussy bad guy from an episode of Miss Marple.

I've not managed to get beyond this novel in the Gardner series. My view is similar to yours. One cannot invest in the characters and the plot is utterly lacklustre. Beyond the foothills of these increasingly woeful books lie the sunny uplands of Sebastian Faulks, William Boyd and Antony Horowitz which will restore your faith in the continuation of the books beyond Fleming!

What is the piece that plays while rolling the patreon list at the end of the video? Thanks.

I wonder if some these stories have been sitting at the bottom of a cupboard written years before and Bond was added in

Hi Calvin - Regarding your comments about eggs - I think Gardner meant to suggest that Bond rarely ate eggs with bacon. After a five month break, I have resumed my Gardner re-read of his original Bond novels (I am excluding LTK and GE novelisations from this). I was interested to go into this knowing that Gardner thought so highly of this one. Many of his stories are very similar, hence my 5 month hiatus on the re-read. I liked the historical link and the 90s was probably the last decade you could do credible Nazi hunting stories. To contrast that, you had reference to the very current Iraq-Kuwait invasion and January war launched against Iraq. Did you notice that, despite using real politicians as characters in WLD a couple of years before, Gardner does not even mention the late Iraqi dictator by name? I liked only Bory as a character and found the rest to be Gardner prototypes. The main villain was not built up properly but his plot to nuke the West was a welcome use of large scale carnage. But I would rather we had seen it play out instead of wrapping up via exposition in the final chapter. There were too many characters and the TV crew cover was ridiculous. It was also really obvious who the waxy moustached Russian soldier was. What would have been really cool was to have Bond undercover for most of the book and someone else pretending to be Bond - and for those reveals to be kept from us for most of the story. Maybe some of the modern continuation writers have tried this? This book ranks poorly for me and I "hit a wall" after about 7 chapters, needing a few days to get my motivation back. In saying that, I actually enjoyed the mid-section. The climax was miscalculated because of the underuse of the airline switch idea. What a fantastic multi-chapter tale that should have been. Its weird, but sometimes I think Gardner believed he had to write to a production budget with some of his choices on scale, location and action. So my experience in this book was mixed - a strong first few chapters, then a big energy lull, a decent mid-section and a frustratingly restrained finale. Overall, its below average but has a few decent ideas, including mixing the historical with the very topical. Gardner was probably writing this book as the Gulf crisis unfolded I imagine. The timescales for that would be interesting to know. So my Gardner rankings are now: 1. NLF 2. SCRPS 3. WLD 4. ROH 5.FSS 6. IB 7. BKC 8. TMFB 9. NDMB 10. LR

I do believe this was one of Gardner's best ones. Yes, it's slow, far-fetched and has too many dialogues and reminiscences... but this whole idea of a Russian general staging a coup by means of a terrorist organisation and a fake trial is so crazy it makes it quite Bondish. After all, Fleming once said: "My plots are fantastic, while being often based upon truth. They go wildly beyond the probable but not, I think, beyond the possible..." And I think the plot of TMFB fits this definition.

Hi Calvin, it would be great to have your film music score ranking. Not themes, actual soundtrack

Say what you will about Gardner’s work, ups or down, he always has interesting premises and ideas in the work

Ah Calvin, you should just do the new book. It's okay to depart from chronological order when a new book drops. Would love to hear your take

This needs to be the next bond movie

I know this is not the subject of this video but I just wanted to say that I genuinely love Quantum of Solace.

Maybe he fervently eats eggs, but not eggs and bacon. you know, as a combination. Perhaps this is what was meant. Love these book reviews BTW.

I have to agree with your opinion on this book. IMO it i the worst of Gardner by far. COLD is awful as well but at tleast that one had some action and you can identifiy it as a Bond-story. Even if it has been years/decades since I have last re-read the Gardner´s I can still recall and summarize the main plot and some events of his books...except for "Man for Barbarossa" .I only knew that it was a slog to get throguh and bored me to death. As you have said, it was very talky. The rest of Gardner´s run is also not as good as his earlier books. I have a soft spot for Seafire although that one was very formularic. ... Wait till you get to the Benson novels, i am sure that you will enjoy those way more than Gardners.

Mervelle Vines I mean

To be honest, the idea that the character we're reading about is NOT James Bond is really interesting. Yes, it'd need to be written in a very specific and convincing way to work, but the thought of having little hints that the man we're reading about isn't the one we know is fascinating. Like maybe he doesn't like his eggs, asks for a vodka martini stirred, or just introduces himself as "James Bond" and not "Bond, James Bond".

This is by far my least favourite Gardner Bond book as it's simply boring. Bond teaming up with other foreign agents has already been used by Gardner in 'Icebreaker' and as you say Bond feels shoehorned into this story. Fredrick Forsyth ['Day of the Jackal'] blends real history with fictional characters far more successfully [this reminds me of his second novel 'Odessa File'].

I would love to hear your opinions about Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater. 😂 Even just the cinematics and story, totally Bond inspired.

Will you be reviewing Charlie Higson’s new book? I am halfway through and really enjoying it, though the deluge of modern references in it is… odd.

The Bond books that followed Flemings don't get any better I'm afraid. Everyone is reading the Higson book why not give yourself a break read Higsons and go back to Gardner after. It took me 2 days to read the latest. I find books about the films and the actors producers etc. more interesting than the fiction at lot of Bond fans like the literary side of things but they bring me more pain than pleasure. I feel your pain reading and reviewing these books. 😂

I too found the beginning compelling and the middle confusing (too many names) and boring (another doublecross lol).

Sounds like a bad attempt at a John le Carre novel. Gardner probably liked it because it was closer to real spy stuff. Double and Triple Crosses are par for the course. The reason people don't do stories about real spy stuff is that it's very complicated, but also very mundane and boring. JLC can just about do it, but I doubt Gardner can. There was a lot of attention on JLC and the likes of Frederick Forsyth in the 80s. so maybe Gardner thought he could pull off an intrigue-based Bond novel. Doesn't sound like he managed it, although of all the Gardner novels reviewed so far, the ones I haven't already read, this one interests me the most.

Fuck. Yes. I love this series

So, unrelated to the video but I couldn’t help but notice you haven’t reviewed Mission Impossible: Fallout. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on that masterpiece of an action film!

If you think this plot is complex the next one is more so but the death of the villain makes the book worthwhile. I think this is the best of his Nazi themed books. Can't wait till you get to Never Send Flowers one of his best books.

Such a shame. That whole Operation Barbarossa angle did sound like an awesome setup, and honestly should've been the heart of the entire story, but it seems Gardner just went off the rails with plots about nuclear weapons and Russian separatists and way too many characters... Incidentally, and I don't care about spoilers: how does that whole "kidnapped old possibly Nazi" plotline end? What is the big reveal?

If you think this one is bad, wait till you meet My Friend Flicka! She's coming soon . . .

There should be a film adaptation of this book.