Fatphobia does not start outside but it rather starts in the household itself. It's not those direct comments but rather those indirect comments like "Wear the looser T-shirt it fits you better, the other t-shirt kind of sticks to your belly ".This happens even though the "other" T-shirt is actually your size and the "looser" T-shirt is falling off your shoulder making you look like a box.

I come from a Latina family, and they're just as ruthless with the unsolicited comments. They really think they are doing you a favor 🤦‍♀️

As a brown girl that use to work at a makeup store so many women would not want to buy a powder or foundation because it had “dark” or “tan” in the name. I wasn’t offended because I love my skin but it really showed me who was colorist.

my best advice for unsolicited comments from family is when they tell me i gained weight i say "thanks!" and see their brains freeze and i mean it, i'm okay with gaining weight or losing it, and i'm not going to explain my life choices to someone i see once a year

It shows such a remarkable lack of boundaries to criticise people’s appearance. It’s toxic and unhealthy behaviour but it’s ingrained in some people. I completely agree that your uncle was projecting his feelings and concerns about his wife on to you. Thank you for your video, it should be required viewing!

When I was born, my Nani was unsatisfied with my nose, so she started to pinch it to the shape she wanted it to be... newborn. NEWBORN. And my parents thought this was an appropriate story to tell their child... when I was still a child. And not in a critical way, as if it was funny that her efforts were futile and I ended up with some sort of nasal monstrosity. 🤦‍♀Skinny jeans became a thing during my childhood/preteen years. My parents bought my first pair when I was in fifth grade. My mom's response to me wearing them at home: "Skinny jeans are not for your shape." Ma'am I AM TEN! WTF?!?!? What ten year old should EVER be thinking about flattering their body shape? istg. I had such a complex about my face and body for most of my life because of the constant comments about my face, body, weight etc. I'm now in my mid-20s and have a lot of self confidence about my looks on most days. It's the academic/intelligence that my self esteem is in the gutter for right now lol

I can’t stand when people use their rationale for hating overweight/obese people on advertising is that they are “unhealthy”. Where was that energy when the models like the Victoria’s Secret angels came out about having eating disorders? Marilyn Monroe is a seductive icon but was mentally ill the entire time. “Unhealthy” is just a sugarcoated way for people to say “I don’t find you attractive”.

Advice tell them: "I like my body the way it is, even if you don't. I'm happy with who I am, so your opinion does not matter much to me. OR: I like my body the way it is thick, or tin. So your opinion or preferences does not matter to me.

omg girl first of all I love u as a Indian girl it’s so comforting to see a fellow south Asian woman talking about these things online. ur story with ur uncle uncovered so many stories of my dad and uncles fat shaming me and making comments about my weight as a kid and i just started sobbing realizing where my past eating disorder came from. It is so important to be talking about these things bc it was so cathartic for me to hear a similar story from another brown woman, thank u

Ive had people: uncles, aunties and acquaintances tell me Im skinny and I would look better with a few kilos. My response was always speechless because every one of these is above the average weight according to their body type, and some are overweight/ obese and had the nerve to comment on my body ESPECIALLY when they barely see me or talk to me such as an acquaintance. By the way, I never commented on a person about their weight because I never cared about that. I care about a person's personality and how they treat me and others. But somehow they are allowed to comment because somehow skinny is not taken as seriously as being overweight. I dont even use the word Fat because it hurts people. My new response to "You look better if you ate" is "I love the way that I look" and for added rubbing it in "I can eat whatever I want" seems to do the trick. They act surprised because people are used to having everyone hate their body, they have never witnessed someone who accepted themselves. I think that someones weight whether skinny or overweight is none of ANYONE'S business. It shows you to be a nosy person who is disrespectful. No one will think that you care about their health, so keep your opinion to yourself, we have mirrors.

I was diagnosed with pcos at 12. I was almost 200 pounds, facial hair, deep voice, irregular painful periods, dealing with all that while your peers are calling you fat, asking why you look and sound like a boy, calling me slurs, that took a toll on me mentally. People still make comments on how I look because my chin/jaw is "manly" and I'm tired of getting judged because people can't comprehend a girl having a deep voice without a dick.

People-whether it’s friends/family or even strangers-are SO USED to talking about appearances that it truly does surprise me. Like people believe they’re not giving backhanded compliments (disguising rudeness) or just straight up being disrespectful until you return that same energy. And omg the EXCUSES “well you know what I meant”, “it’s just my opinion”, or “it’s not that deep”. But oh, I’m the bad guy when I return that same energy 🙄 People always say “y’all too sensitive” or “too woke” (people be throwing around that word so easily like a pebble 😭), but it’s just acknowledging your words.

Hi good morning from the UK, I wanted to say this video is a masterpiece. You've shared an analytical insights of today's society & the obsession that goes around some group of people who live delusional lives and how they consider others based on fake beauty, personality insecurity, celebrities influence society & everyday culture how people become invasive with our choices we make & some internet trolls writing nasty comments and body shaming others because we don't fulfil their expectations because who they like & follow. Anyone who is secure, full, ambitious and confident call the ones narcissistic & label them negatively . How pity this world has become when people believe hurt others based on their judgment & expressing mean thoughts it is a sign of freedom & strong personality in order to fulfil their egos by criticising others. Thanks a million for making this video. It's so informative & educational. I've learned a lot from you.

It's socialization and finding out what is acceptable in society. That is neither good or bad, just common standards people agree upon and that differs between different societies/cultures. Socialization is very important and beneficial and can hurt those that fall out of the "acceptable" standards. Hopefully as adults we have the freedom to and are able to find people that agree with our values.

Personnally, I feel the only appropriate way to comment on appearances is COMPLIMENTS tied to skill, to choice. For example, I love your taste in clothes, your makeup skills, your hairdo, stuff like that..

I feel for you... thats rough. The audacity of some family members. If they told me im fat i would happily say that life in the US is so comfortable and we have sooo many delicious foods and drinks that make life so rich and fun, that i cant say no 😂 life isnt worth living without enjoyment after all.

Great video!!!👏🏼👏🏼 The most beautiful appearance I see in people is confidence/self acceptance. We are all unique! Thank goodness.❤🥰

This content is needed Your whole channel actually!

Thank you for the great content.

Love your videos- keep making them. So refreshing ❤

Usual banger as always ! 😂

When i was a child everyone used to make fun of my lips 😭 and everyone gave me weird nicknames and now the beauty standards are changed and now they like my lips and want to get lip fillers but my childhood was ruined

I'm so excited for this vid! Originally I thought it would be about the idea of women keeping their mouths shut in order to be 'beautiful' or 'desired' a la 1950's house wife domesticity

In Pakistani culture healthy is gaining weight. And being skinny means malnourished and doesn’t eat enough 🙄 no understanding of age and metabolism rate. Most aunties to say stuff like this are overweight

i feel like with comments that family members say to each other regarding how they look comes off as not in a rude way, but in a “loving” way. Whenever one of my family members comments on another one’s appearance, like “oh you lost/gained weight” they don’t mean for it to come off as harsh. Ik sometimes my family can say things that they don’t think is mean and by all means i know what they’re really tryin to say, but sometimes it comes off as rude. i feel like it’s common in a lot of families. and idk how to tell them that cus ik they mean well😭

😂😂😂 I got the "healthy" comment myself in Pakistan....welcome back I said to myself but I was also genuinely amused at how typical and perdictable Aunties are.

A couple years ago my grandmother visited our home country, Portugal. When she got back, I went with my family to pick her up from the airport, she stoped me from hugging her and yelled out how fat I looked and how no Portuguese man would be attracted to a deformed woman.

Your uncle sounds like my late father. I never cried when he died...

What lipstick color are you wearing? It's a very pretty color

❤❤❤❤❤❤

I have heard people calling Marilyn Monroe fat.

You guys should check the comments of mukbang people who are skinny and people who are fat. One is sweet other one is puree hatred in the disguise of concern. Even if both are doing the same thing. Eating absolutely unhealthy.

I feel like you should make a video on brown peoples veiws on exercising. As its oddly looked down upon, but aunties still wish that they will lose weight with magic masalas. And even with themselves being not in shape they'll be degrading others even when they try.

16:06 that is a very horrible things to say to a child. Kids are vulnerable and most of the time they can't protect themselves and feels more confused, unloved and unwelcomed

My aunt told me to constantly hold my stomach tight… years of shallow breathing made me anxious.

im sorry but the auntie video bite of the healthy comment sent me screaming 🤣 😂 . in caribbean culture we say when someone has put on some weight, we straight up say that the person has gotten fat. 🤣 my dad has said that a person body is 'shot' 💀 i feel with these cultures it would be difficult for you if you are sensitive. I am sensitive so i just stay away 🤣 🤣

Tu reman words are said on purpose. To hurt to humble you. And yes family can do this too

9:50 Addison Rae is naturally pretty she does t need plastic surgery she aLReady has the perfect nose n lips n forehead.. that’s why she’s a happy person n an influencer

amazing

Sorry but being too plastic means the person him/herself is obsessed with the looks not the person who says “you’re too plastic” everyone else is acceptable unless you needed cosmetic surgery for health reasons in due point Kim Kardashian & her family looks way worse then before the money & fame got to them. This is my opinion.

So before making a comment about myself, that is about my insecurities only, I have to consider everyone else's feelings around me? Jeez, I am lucky that my friends are confident enough.

What is appropriate or not seems to be determined by a western lens. Like you said.. Your pakistani aunty SEEs you after a long time and says you've put on weight and that seems offensive to you. What if she said you look great? Would you still be complaining about about her commenting on your looks? How a person looks or the changes we observe is part of what we see and take in when we meet somebody. Whether we express it or not is a matter of cultural difference. Can't expect your pakistani aunty to be well versed in your american way of thinking. All that matters is intention I guess that which separates an observation from judgement. And if negative judgement on looks is inappropriate then I think positive judgement should also be.

No your uncle was creepy and looking at your body too much.