Thank you 🌹

Any man can find any women attractive just look at internet artists drawing fat girls, muscle girls,gremlin disaster girls because they are attracted to them to destroy the myth of objectively attractive people

PLEASE, you, and EVERYONE, if you haven't already, embrace the One True Only God YHWH Jehovah, Only One Jesus Christ His Only Begotten Son and Lord and Savior of our souls and the Only One Holy Spirit. God is good. God is love. Jesus is Lord. Jesus IS coming. Your soul depends on it! I have seen God act in my life. He saved my soul, changed my heart, changed my mind, helped people through me, took care of people in my life, people I hurt before I found God. God is the only reason I was able to reconcile with my dad before he died. God worked through Jesus Christ to save our souls. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. Be baptized in The Holy Spirit, and if He wills, water as well. Repent of your sins, accept God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit into your heart, that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, that all who believe on Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Jesus Christ is The Way, The Truth and The Life. No one comes to the Father Jehovah God but through Him. Not long after I got saved I prayed to God for help understanding the Holy Bible, and that same day someone knocked on my door asking me if I wanted to understand the Bible. The Holy Bible says, "love thy enemy", "turn the other cheek", "If your enemy is hungry, feed him", "if he is thirsty, give him a drink", "pray for those who persecute you", "do not repay evil for evil". LORD willing, all humans may commit sin of almost every kind (gay, straight), and that's wrong, and all humans sin, as God tells us through the The Holy Bible, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." The Holy Bible also says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Quite disappointed by you and several other KZfaqrs promoting a game that has a loot box aka gambling mechanic and shoves it down your throat at all times. The core game idea is fun enough, the story is meh, but serves its purpose, but over a few days of playing it, it introduces a new feature to spend money on every day. „oh x must actually like and play this, surely it must be an ethical mobile game that doesn’t exploit its players“ - you’re promoting a product and I should’ve known better than believe an ad read even when coming from a fav creator.

Thank you for time-stamping your ad! I appreciate you.

They can’t be the change they want.

You couldn't have said it better. I can't deal with criticism anymore. Even if valid in some cases, I'm just sick of it. Let's just all live.

Yeah, that's too bad. It's trying to mold all women now into a 1950's trad wife. If you're not that then you're a "pick me". Some women are better with a drill than they are with an oven. Some women make great plumbers .. And yeah, some women play video games really well. It's not done to impress a man. And that's what ultimately separates a pick me from a normal person. Are you doing what you're doing because you like it?

@@awe_possumcriticism won't stop and in all honesty it shouldn't. idk man just accept that you'll have to deal with it.

and it didn't lost meaning, it is just being massively misused. this isn't the same. people will always find a way to shame women who do not fit the norms and expectations of femininity as long as you guys keep believing in and reinforcing gender essentialism.

I got called a pick me for climbing to get something instead of asking for help. No winning

omg don't even get me started on short tiny girl envy, I had that when I was younger and the psychosis runs DEEP

I remember when "Shake It Up" made a whole episode about Zendaya being tall and Bella Thorne being a lot shorter, and for some reason one part that I thought about was the overacted rage of her having to give people stuff from higher shelves. The only obvious way to fix it, is to hold people up when they need something 😂.

Fr, specially because architectures use the average male height as the standard, so shelves being too high is actually structural sexism.

@@homosapien7316 i prefer to climb than to ask too and i get called a pick me and a try hard and blah blah blah. there literally is no winning

that last one hit hard, you aren’t trying to be “quirky” you’re just struggling :(

If anything, that friend who used your vulnerabilities to hurt you showed their true colours. I'm so sorry for this, bc I too deal with the same struggles especially (I grew up with this in my family too). You're not alone, and I hope for you to find a kinder kin soon🖤

Rooting for you.

I would've told her (the girl who said the last one) shes an insensitive monster and the reason people don't like her is probably cause shes this insufferable. Lacking emotional intelligence at her big age is CRAZY too. You aren't alone girl.

According to the second thing, almost every guy in Scotland in the past is a pick me girl

and 90% of the time its a word black people have been using for years and then white people specifically take it and over use it and then complain about it being overused. like remember bae?

You're right, I've seen a video of a guy just saying he loves his girlfriend and wants to take her out for birthday and she apologized for making him feel like he had to He got called a simp and she got called a pick me I was WTF?!?!

Yeah I remember when any man who didn't vehemently hate women was called a "simp"... Dark times...

I mean you can even go further than that, 10 years ago if someone called someone else a Nazi, I would think "oh I should avoid that person" now I think "are they actually a Nazi or did they disagree with you on a political topic so now you're vilifying them?"

@@thekicker2517 Same with Communist, Socialist, and Marxist. : (

this

Woman: has confidence Society: what a bitch

far too many ppl: “OMG! Everyone _exists!_ Not just YOU! You’re not _special!”_ me: **slowly backs away**

"So you agree? You think you're really pretty?"

"ya think ya better than me? "🍸(splash) -HIMYM

I notice this comes up with the kardashians a lot it’s a paradox I notice in a lot of my otherwise ‘feminist’ friends. ‘Kim kardashians sets dangerous beauty standards she should be held responsible for the way her appearance affects people and triggers dysmorphia, EDs, low self esteem…’ but like, what? So you’re saying Kim k needs to either cater her appearance to your preference or you’re saying she should be punished for the way her appearance makes you feel? Or she shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house? Feminism should never involve controlling the way other women look or what they do with their own bodies though

​@dollinterrupted thank you. The kardashian discourse is rooted in misogyny although there valid points. Also love ur username I'm getting tattooed 🤪.

@@dollinterrupted I had a roommate who starved herself because I weighed less than her.. some women can't exist around other women apparently.

Did she also say why? Or is it just a blank statement without any reason behind it outside of - because?

@@lenaramoon4617 I suspect the issue ran deeper than jealousy over your weight. Eating disorders just don't work like that.

lol what that doesn't even make sense

@@amsyjo You can just breathe and someone can call you a "pick me" nowaday

Fun tip for microwaved butter pasta, if it's just butter and salt on it, add some parmesan cheese after microwaving. (Assuming you don't already do that) Definitely unfortunate that you got criticized for being genuine though.

As Chappel Roan once said: "You should break up!" If your partner acts bored around the things youre really interested in. She might not like it, but least she should lisent & pay attention to it. Do that with my little brother when he talks about WWE , or my parents when I overdump about musicals.

@@barbicel No, I'm not going to dump my wonderful kind girlfriend just because she isn't interested in guitar gear.

​@@barbicelI feel like this is only applicable when it's with EVERY interest

⁠I love how the internet overwhelmingly tells people to break up with their SO for…literally anything. Good for you for making clear how ridiculous that is. If you think your SO has to like EVERYTHING you like, something is wrong. Guitar gear is one of those hobbies that is really interesting to the people who like it and incomprehensible to those who aren’t into it. My wife can relate to your girlfriend.

Solid advice here👍

exactly!!! the assumption of heterosexuality absolutely oozes from every single one of these videos. the one that ripped on bisexual women just said the quiet part out loud

THIS. I just watched a video on "Hawk Tuah" girl (writing that hurts) and this one weirdo tiktoker was like "we love this girl because she has a personality unlike all you half dressed bitches!! it's all about making us laugh!!" yet she's constantly harassed to start an Only Fans and has even been approached by Playboy. It's so defeating.

I'm genuinely concerned that eventually just being a heterosexual woman will be considered "pick-me-girl."

LITERALLY UGHHH

gonna say, Queer women get completely forgotten about in the D I S C O U R S E . Just because you're not overly feminine does not autolatically make you gay/queer obviously but people forget maybe some girls really ARE just tomboys and really DO just relate to/prefer male freinds and it's not a performance.

Sistemico sexismo. Muchas personas están miedo de chicas inteligentes jajaja

It's a rigged game. I'm at the point where I do whatever the hell I want, people will complain no matter what.

Wow it's almost like women are responsible for bullying and ostracizing other women 😳 I've talked about this very thing for a long time and ironically I got called a pick me for bringing attention to female bullying and what it looks like.

Wow it's almost like ♀️ are responsible for bullying and ostracizing other ♀️ 😳 I've talked about this very thing for a long time and ironically I got called a pick me for bringing attention to female bullying and what it looks like.

Yep that's pretty much it.

Saying "friendo" honestly time to shut up permanantly

@@Younghoulhead Not sure what’s going on in your life but take a deep breath… it’s not that deep.

You sound like anton chigurh when you say "friendo"😂

Honestly this fucking annoyed me so much. So like a few years back their were two women (can't remember the names, will look it up and add in the edit) one was a lesbian who pretended to be a man for a little bit just to see how it goes and the other talked to men's rights groups, both came to the conclusion that being a guy is generally pretty mentally taxing and not having the privilege of governmental support systems and NGOs that women have access to is horrible and miserable. They were vilified, called "pick me"s, misogynists etc. just for talking about issues that men face. Edit: first woman is Norah Vincent, she wrote a book called self made man. Second one was Cassie Jaye, she made a documentary called "The Red Pill".

😢😢😢😢 so sad Womp womp😂😂😂

Oh, you don't even have to be over 35 to be called a Karen. Basically any women of any age that expresses a strong opinion or stands up for herself is called a Karen nowadays. It's basically just become another way to tell a woman to 'know your place'.

"Karen" isn't gender or age specific anymore. "Karen" now just means anyone who is _beyond_ entitled. The reason this stereotype originates from entitled middle aged white women in America is because they're the most privileged and pampered, hence entitled, group of people in recorded history...on average. 🙂👍

@@katiem.3109no that's not a karen

100%, Karen is just a misogynistic slur used primarily by men (but pick-mes as well - in this case actual pick-mes) to say "STFU woman". I work in customer service. Male customers are definitely more entitled but there is only a gender specific slur for bad female customers? Misogynists just keep finding new ways to perform & use misogyny.

@@EstherBuiuuu No it's not. You are still being called a Karen.

Exactly! A LOT of misogyny comes from narrowing women down to a stereotype and this helps misogyny by doing that.

​@@sistermadrigalmorning233 a lot of "misogyny" from men comes from looking around and not liking what they see. However men dont call women pick me. Women are competitive and will do as much as they can to destroy other women to gain higher social status as social status is women's most coveted desire. Women will call other women a pick me to attempt to degrade others.

That is the BEST way to put it. There's no perfect mold, we're all unique and different. Being like other women is wonderful. Women are beautiful, strong, powerful, and will listen to your deepest confessions in the girl's bathroom while helping you reglue your eyelash and safety-pinning your broken strap to your dress. When I was super young and had only just gotten my cycle a month or so before, I went to the mall with a friend and got my period there. I realized I didn't have pads and the box in the bathroom was empty. So 10-yr-old me announced to a crowded bathroom: "Does anyone have a pad? I can't wear tampons." Immediately, every woman in there started looking in their purses, and about three girls found some and brought them to me at the same time. I ended playing "eenie meanie minee mo" to pick because I didn't want to make any of the girls feel bad, and had the whole bathroom giggling. I chose one, and crisis averted. My point is, if THAT'S what other women are like, then I am absolutely like girls.

So truueee

​@winniethepooht5776 not all women are like that. you just refuted your point that "we're all individuals".

Should any of this even be labeled?

Yes and male features too

I know right, we really went backwards in terms of having rigid ideas about gender expression. Not that I wanna go back to 10 years ago in which women who liked to dress feminine could be criticized as "dressing for male validation," but the same claim seems to be happening for the opposite type of expression. I do think that it's actually more likely to be the case that if someone dresses "not stereotypically feminine" they're more likely to be doing that for their own self interest, rather than the other way around. But, people should just be allowed to do whatever the fuck they want.

@@Olivetree80 I agree. I'm non-binary (she/they) and enjoy many "male" interests like DIY electronics, electronic music production, computer programming, video games, etc. Not because I want attention, but because I think tech is cool. And I don't get along that well with average women because I don't get along with the hyper-social nature of most of those groups. I'm on the spectrum so there's that too. It's sad that even as a trans person (born male), I was pressured into femininity and expected to trade one box for another. And many of my gal pals would bring me down for my introversion and deeper interest in tech. I would love to have friends who could nerd out instead of expecting me to process complex social signals. Also, on a semi-related note, I don't like that a lack of makeup is sometimes seen as a sign of depression.

No because the point was to slow people be who they are! Hyper feminine, girls into male interests , girls into make up , girls not into make up are allowed to exist with out degrading each other! That was the point! Let people do what they are interested with out it being a negative. Labels are just to explain the basic external vocabulary of something. It’s not the rule to negatively shame them! That’s it!

Spot on

that's not true though. I'm the epitome of gender conforming: I'm a housewife and mom with long hair, makeup, high heels and flowy dresses every day. I love gardening and cooking/baking. Guess what I was called a lot at university?

sorry I didn't mean your experience isn't true, I just meant that the "pick me" term is not just used to exclude non-conforming women, it's used to exclude the hyperfeminine as well. Everything that deviates from the norm even slightly.

I think you'll find the opposite happens. A lot. Do research. Hell, asks other gender confirning individuals in the street what they think a "pick-me" girl is. I guarantee you won't because that somehow makes you feel threatened just being in their presence, but also I guarantee you won't because you know that even gender conforming people will debunk your POV on a ratio that is embarrassing to admit.

I don't think this comment said anything to indicate that it's Only used against GNC women. This woman is just lamenting her own experience with it. I don't quite identify as butch but I'm also GNC and also experience this tension with other women sometimes. It's feels like in order to show that you're one of the girls you have to perform femininity in a specific way. There's this attempt at women showing solidarity with and relating to each other by talking about 'girlhood' and 'womanhood' as if it's this homogenous experience. In many ways I do experience positives from this, but it can also alienate people who don't feel they fit in. The "pick me" thing absolutely gets used to target women who aren't feminine enough. The whole thing about being a woman friends with men = "pick me." The assumption that a disinterest in certain hobbies many women enjoy = a judgment of them, misogyny. I know feminine women experience it as well, but that's not what this comment is about. ​@@wolfsmaid6815

And also, men are also often nasty to GNC women. It's not like it's saving us from misogyny from either side.

Exactly! I think it probably stems from more of a bullying standpoint, and when someone can’t use something to hurt you anymore, they get frustrated because it was never about the height, it was about making you FEEL small.

Little guy ND small man r so cute actually

Lil gent

me too! I'm also like, a 164cm tall guy, and while it still does make me dysphoric, I am starting to embrace it - especially because I also like being cute, though that may not apply to everyone xD

Love that for you ❤!!! Keep making them uncomfortable 😂

How dare you exist and interact in a social situation. (Sarcasm)

That's so annoying. I hope you told him to piss off. Continue being the hilarious queen I'm sure you are.

There is no winning. If you’re quiet and shy you’re a pick me trying too hard to be cute. If you’re loud and talkative you’re a pick me and attention seeker. If you exist as a girl you’re a pick me because whatever you do that attracts attention is pick me behavior

What was the joke

Had a similar interaction a couple of years back. A guy in my school (who really liked make-up) asked me what make-up I wore. I said I didn't wear much make-up because I didn't enjoy how it felt, and he told me I was a pick me.. Apparently, answering a question honestly means you're seeking male validation...

EXACTLY thank you. she is most likely making it all up though.

@@feltfrog oh definitely. Like either that, or she is actually delusional.

Yeah at one point it stops being a coincidence

Wow that's insane 😮

I hate hate hate the current trend of astrology=feminine and good and if you disagree you're a misogynist.

that’s absolutely awful yet at the same time very very funny in a weird warped way

Same energy with me reading about art and some girl randomly asked who is the boy i am trying to impress... Ma'am can't women have interests???????

How's the progress on your book?

Excellent point

Which is utterly ridiculous because Megan thee Stallion is extremely stunning, every time I see her I’m just like damn lol

there's also misogynoir in that case :-/

Some of that is white privilege, and some is skinny privilege. Taylor's a bit of a waif, despite her height. Tall women are viewed as more acceptable by society if they're very thin. Those of us tall women who have curves or muscle, are not given that leeway.

Meg has the most feminine body ever! Anyone calling her a man is straight up jealous 👏

I don't think labels are the problem. Labels is how we organize concepts in our heads and make it less chaotic. I think the issue is the lack of empathy for each other and the lack of empathy is a consequence of our miserable lives where all we want is someone to blame for it.

if only 😭😭

The comment section would be empty. Though, now that you say it, that does sound nice

@@anjetto1 the comment section would be empty for at least 45 min after upload ;) (I'm not through the video yet. just hate all "first" and "babe wake up" and "when I see [channel name i click" noise)

As I write this the video came out 46 minutes ago and is 46 minutes long, so any comment older than 10 seconds ago is automatically invalid... unless they used 2x speed.

@@RoamingAdhocrat oh. I hate people who comment about a subject that gets talked about later. Lol

I often feel like the people who take the most joy out of dunking on "not like other girls" girls aren't feminists but high school bullies delighted to have a socially acceptable excuse to continue hating on nerds and weird kids

Are you me?🤧

@@NewtieTimesSix Fing this a thousand times this

What the..., that's really messed up! in my honest opinion there's no 'like other girls' or 'like other boys', everyone is unique and different in a way even twins. I was also like this, as my mom always said it was like I am living in my own world to the point she was afraid I have autism 😅 Anyone expecting girls to have the same personality should get themselves checked, we aren't clones, we have different lives and experiences, having the same interests doesn't make you the same, so 'like other girls' is bullshit which mean this pick me trend is also bullshit.

We would have been friends, i would find the quite ones that read and befriended them by asking about their book

That sucks. Sometimes when I don't know how to bring things up like that, I go about asking the other person questions about how they view it; I think it helps (obviously done in a nice way, but I'm sure you will since she's your friend) to get into a discussion about opposing views without causing anyone to feel attacked (hopefully). So, if it were me, I might ask something (in a friendly tone, of course) like: what scenario might exist where someone doesn't want to do whatever thing (in this case tan) and NOT be a pick-me. Or, since you're friends, you could just ask if she would really classify you as a pick-me; does she think that's how you are (probably not or she probably wouldn't be friends with you, since she seems to have some disdain for the pick-mes), and if not, then can't she trust that you just truly don't want to tan or do whatever else? I don't know. That would just be my approach. :S Good luck with your friend. I'm sure she cares about your feelings, so you can always just straight up say, "I don't want to sound bad for bringing this up, but it kind of bothered me" blah blah. Okay, sorry for typing so much.

Blend in and be part of the group? Basic. Stand out and be an individual? Pick-Me. Sorry, Sweaty, thems the breaks 💅

Pick me Melanoma, choose me

your friend ironically is acting more like a pick me by criticising you for not wanting a tan lol

You deserve better friends...

Shiny shoes are wonderful…especially if they light up!

@@ruthspanos2532 and or have wheels~! man those were certainly.. _some_ days. i wonder how many kids went to the hospital because of those things for them to just disappear all of the sudden (edit: for the shoes to disappear not the kids!)

Really cool that you caught your own double standard. You're doing a great job

You could you say you had to..... LET IT GO ;)

i love that you were able to self reflect and make a change for her sake! makes me so happy to hear that :)

Mocking girls for being "different" is just being mean and misogynistic, it's awful that it's become a trend :( I hope you've found a better community now!

@candlecord yes! Thank you :)) my boyfriend at the moment loves to hear me yap and I love when he does the same! I'm still friends with the person who mocked me because they grew as a person, as I did too. Tbh I think she probably saw those videos of pick me girls a lot on her fyp and didn't quite understand what it was. Thanks for your comment, have a nice week ^^

@@victoriafraga2222 Aw that's so nice to hear that you have someone to yap to, and that your friend has grown out of that mentality! I will admit I also fell victim to it when I was younger, but we grow and we learn :) you have a wonderful week too, cheers!! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for saying this. It's not quite the same experience for me, but I remember when another girl told me anime is for guys just because Im a girl who likes anime. I was also once told that I'm not feminine just because I like anime and video games even though I very much love to dress up and wear cute clothes. It's so frustrating because you just can't do anything without having some sort of label attached you. It's like people think women can only have hobbies that are just shopping and makeup and if we deviate for that even for a bit, suddenly we are a "pick me"or "unfeminine" I feel like this whole pick me trend has devolved in such a way to just further alienate women against eachother. Anyways thats all, sorry for the long rant, I just wanna say I agree w u a lot, also love your Jojo pfp

Man I don't know what's up with that friend I would absolutely love someone info-dumping about video games with me. It's pretty sad that your friend reacted like that. But cool that she grew and learnt from that.

The funny thing is, I see this used against bi/pan/queer women in queer spaces too, as "straight girl behaviour." Even among lesbians, there's sometimes this idea that women are responsible for constantly monitoring ourselves to see if a man could sexualize our behaviour, and carefully abstain from any behaviour that could be perceived as being "for men".

As a lesbian, this is something I wish would be brought up more in the discussions on pick me as a sexist insult. Because I feel like we're going to be labelled as a pick me really fast no matter how we're presenting ourselves. The masc lesbians are going to be accused of trying to be one of the boys for approval while the more femmes are going to be accused of seeking male approval through adhering to gender roles. I've been accused of being a pick me and it's always just awkward when I point out to people that I'm a lesbian. Because there's inevitably some sort of double-think these people bring up on why it still a valid insult to throw. It's also worth noting that, even if a girl/woman is doing something to attract a guy, there's not really anything wrong with that. The issue has always stemmed from tearing down other women or denying her own humanity to make herself more noticeable or desirable.

Another thing people forget to consider...some girls really do relate to and prefer to be friends with guys. I had to go to an all girls school for high school and one thing I was forever kinda disappointed about was there were no guys to be friends with. It's not that I wasn't friends with girls beforehand,it sucked I didn't really share interests with anyone, I found it hard to relate (granted this is was also mostly because I had confined myself to one group of peers within the school but it still felt weird to be fenced off from like, an entire gender, 50% of all people) trying to beat the tomboy out of girls is a rite of passage it seems.

@@takingaghostdump2026 even when heterosexuality is out of the question, masc woman are still given side-eye (even from queer women!) because it's assumed to be a performance, an ex once told me I "had a fascination with masculinity" which...didn't really ring true. Sure there were times I'd indulge in buying some "MAN-PRODUCT" with a little ironic glee (like I was sneaking into the "no girls allowed" club house...tee hee!) but otherwise no, this is really just my natural state and not something I really think about all that much (except trying to decide what outfit I'm going to wear at any given time so that's one thing I have in common with the "girlies")

@@91Vault There must have been other girls who were like you though? Genuinely kind of curious. You can't have been the only one out of hundreds.

100%. Our obsession with therapising others, especially women, manifests in new methods of policing their behaviour. Besides the whole pick-me thing, I noticed similarities with the whole Oxford study ordeal, where every Asian woman dating a white guy is inheretly burdened with internalised racism. The social media rooted infighting needs to stop.

Nah fuck you imma keep hatin

I also think this applies to a lot of men. The borderline between toxic people and masculinity, and confused people who are just trying to exist in a dystopia nightmare, is getting a lot fuzzier. This is worse for women including trans women but not a feminine only thing.

So true. why can't people just..exist?? lmao ppl are so far up in their heads, everyone just needs to chill out

Halfway into this video I was thinking this. Like...I really don't care about all these girls and women on TikTok calling themselves or each other pick me or anti pick me or whatever. I've given up trying to understand what is happening and why.

also, notice how all the girls that are called pick-mes are conventionally attractive. i bet if they looked average or just different from beauty standards they wouldn’t get called out so heavily because they wouldn’t be considered as big of a ‘threat’

white internet challenge: don't ruin/warp AAVE phrase we just heard. (no successes yet, I'm so sorry) edit: I think that meme came from youtube channel, but there's a fair chance I'm demonstrating the issue?

If you wouldn't mind could you give me an example of slang/phrases that's been used for centuries that is now popular? I'm not being combative btw I'm just curious English is my second language

@@catsinburg8626 Green fn (originated from nba 2k but then branched out from there fn stands for fuck nigga), rizz (kai cenat popularized it to white audiences but its kinda old still, short or charisma), blud (super old, a term to use for a RELATIVE not just somebody you know), unc (old man, similar to oldhead), jit (to refer to somebody younger than you), Gyatt (literally from Jamaican patois, it just means God), Bomboclatt (jamaican patois, its kinda just a ! in usage, not an ajactive) Those are only the ones off the top of my head too

​@@catsinburg8626that's kind of a tough question, as most of the slang words from 100s of years ago are just normal words now! You can watch the entomology nerd's channel for content explain this kind of thing But I think the point the original commenter was trying to make this that this phenomenon of aave becoming mainstream and then just being seen as 'youth slang' has been going on for centuries, or at the very least decades, which is absolutely true unfortunately

​​@@catsinburg8626fine, finna, dip, dap, lit, turn up, bro, sis, cool, salt, shade, slap, crib, funk....

They're called "Twi, Twa, or Mbuti," now.

@@darlalathan6143 That's a mouthful. Can I not just pick one?

Furtive Pygmy, so easily forgotten...

​@@darlalathan6143Mbuti is NOT a pygmy! Omg

@@vexedlex8230 don’t pick one 😬 ask which group the person belongs too

In conclusion, being a woman is tiring 🙃

I love this quote ❤ thanks for adding it

What are you even talking about? I have an actual life with things to do, and simply cannot be bothered to care in the slightest about what every woman in my line of sight is doing.

This is interesting in a twisted way. Is fitting in to one particular “male fantasy” a problem? Even by chance? That’s next level hate..

@@calebh373it’s about living under the patriarchy. The quote is not literal, it is saying that unfortunately everything a woman does is judged by the patriarchy. Of course we are people and we have lives and interests and relationships that have nothing to do with men. But arguably, philosophically, everything a person (all genders) does or is expected to do is a response to (either an acceptance or rejection of) the patriarchy.

Same! Although, I’m not even sure what my gender is, I just know I don’t feel it the same way cis girls/women do.

@@nijuurokufirst of all, mafuyu pfp second of all, same idk what I am 😭

I lost a bunch of weight and cried when I got called a basic white girl. Not because it hurt my feelings. But because for once I was seen as one of the other girls.

Oh my god, as another neurodivergent girl, EXACTLY. Every time I see the phrase "not like other girls" I mentally say to my self "Yeah I'm not like other girls. In fact I'm not like other people." Because living in society makes me feel "othered" every single moment of my life. Just makes me wonder how many of those labelled this way are just NDs.

exactly. pain is the right word :(

This is so well put and important!

💯

@VVillle Dahling, my Mommy Dearest is a freaking narc I'm NC with. If by some cosmic joke it does happen, _then_ I might subscribe

Honestly any woman-specific insult, even if it's calling out an actually bad phenomenon, ends up devolving into legitimate misogyny. See: Karen, not like other girls, pick me girl, etc.

I saw a girl who said she didn’t like a fucking strawberry dress and she got called a pick-me girl

So, who is labeling these women? Are those mysoginist women, or even mysoginist men? Generally my understanding of slightly 'alternative' women is that they are respected and loved by many, only sad, envious people would ever dare to criticize them and the criticism would be as unjust as it would be false. The only real example I have seen in my lifetime has been women that are having trouble empathizing with other women, but not with men. Basically these women are socially insecure and turn to men (who due to finding them attractive) will give them the honest attention they desire. This basically results in them having a few less boundaries, being more touchy with men and generally being well liked, which causes envy with other, more well adjusted women, who see them as a danger or unfair competition. The very basic explanation is: Women are complex beings, while men are relatively straightforward. It makes sense for women to slightly adhere more to the less complex sex, as she can predict the (positive) results of her behaviour far better than with the other more complex sex. Also, it is very hard to find a man that actively 'hates' women. The only men that hate women, are the ones that have had their ego destroyed many times by women and the few that see them as simple playthings and has no respect for them. Both aren't exactly common examples and a tiny minority amongst the population.

​​@@pinobluevogel6458 truly well-adjusted women do not see other women as competition. If anything, most women with at least some sense of self-security move on if they ever encounter belligerence from another woman for no discernible reason other than simply existing. Also, misogyny does not manifest itself in simple feelings of hatred - it's moreso in actions and prejudice.

Men and women do not hate on women in similar ways most of the time. When women hate on women, in my experience, it is more as if they are comparing themselves to the other woman and trying to put her down to gain validation for herself. When a MAN hates on a woman, it is typically a product of patriarchy, such as "evalutating" a woman's "worth" with stereotypically female hobbies such as cooking, cleaning, raising kids etc. ans for younger men it all boils down to sex/body count, believing she's"lost her worth" if she's slept with someone etc., aasuming that the female sex by default is over emotional/incompetent/less logical/inferior compared to male rationality/inferior compared to male strength etc. While insecure women do adopt similar methods to put down other women, they typically don't play into the generalising aspect because that would put THEMSELVES in the "inferior" ring, which is precisely what they're trying to AVOID. I don't exactly register the tone of this comment very well, but stop trying to make it seem like only women hate women. It is true and does exist the other way around, insecure men hate on men and women, insecurewomen hate on men and women, it is not an argument. ​"Well adjusted" men and women do not bother living for external validation by insulting others like these types. @@pinobluevogel6458

Literally

as a neurodivergent woman with plenty of female friends(i used to have none and also be bitter about it), yes it can be hard but there are plenty of women who’s friendships don’t consist of just “feminine shit” or talking about men. i have a lot of friends i just play video games with or make weird ass jokes. it’s not always an excuse and there are other women like you, this is kind of the epitome of pick me to be honest 😂😂 even though you’re not meaning for it to be and i understand that. you ARE able to make friends with women i promise and it’s okay to be bitter but at some point you have to help yourself mama ❤❤❤ there are more neurodivergent women than you would think!! 😂😂😂😂

@@smellytoad666 hows what they said " the epitome of pick me" if they werent looking for male validation, just find it easier to talk to men, theyre autistic and thats their experience that just happens

Did you even understand what she (I'm assuming she) meant? It's clear that it was because men are reasonably straight forward with how they act, whereas women aren't typically as easy to understand as a neurodivergent person. It wasn't about interests, it was about social cue.

@@daliam8715 She's not entirely wrong. Men almost never pretend to be friends with you if they don't really like you, that's by and large a female friend thing. one-on-one I'm more likely to be friends with women but in groups, especially if you don't personally get to hand-select every member of the group, I would strongly prefer to be in more mixed-gender spaces

@@user-xm5ry2ld1j I was on the website instead of the app on my mobile, so it didn't tag the person who I was actually replying to so you probably missed what I said. I agree with that person, but disagree with the person who says that this way of thinking is pick me behaviour.

A family member of mine raised her children alone bc the father was an abuser and she is against financial aids for single moms?????

​@@van_ol1056 Not sure why they believe welfare and government assistance is a lavish lifestyle

@@van_ol1056 it's "I suffered, so should you" mentality

@@AShreads55 that's the thing, in my country there's financial aids for single moms and people who haven't worked for a while get a very cheap apartment paid plus money for food. She got those things yet votes for a right wing party that wants to make those aids much lower bc they want to force women to not divorce or leave their husbands bc "traditional family" 😭

@van_ol maybe she realized what she did was wrong. people can have personal growth, you know?

@VVillle she already died 8 years ago checkmate fella

Yesssss this so much!

​@VVillle my mother died 20 years ago

That's why the term lost all power because it's treated like "gay" is for guys. Since gay as a derogatory term been popping back up as of late. It it's basically the male pick me now. Men like cooking = gay Woman like it = pick me. Basically both come from people doom scrolling talking shit on people's being normal.

They will pit women against each other at any turn. Women can’t relax

Were there any actual answers to the question?

@@_.-._.-Y0K0-._.-._ there may have been, i didn't look at every single comment

@@skyhideaway well okay, I will say there is a difference between asking for makeup tips and asking "how do you do this thing everyone does and that I can't do because of a medical condition?". *Because one has an answer, **_the other one answers it's self._* And when you ask questions you already know the answer to, there's typically a negative reason for it that is up for interpretation. And when people are CONSTANTLY being told something is bad and stupid, they will autofill that. *_Asking open ended questions gets you open ended results and this is the internet we're talking about which runs on algorithms and shit._* It's like telling a joke poorly, it is also kinda on the person who told the joke. *You do have to think about what you are communicating, **_especially when communicating with total strangers out of any interpersonal context._* Edit: BASICALLY, there was infact a better way to express that and without secondary social cues to indicate tone _that does infact sound like something you could say to mock people who wear makeup._ So yes people shouldn't dog pile and jump down people's throats, *but also you should probably keep in mind the void you are screaming into can hear what you're saying **_and definitely has opinions about that._*

@@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty you don't even know how the person worded their question, i just paraphrased it here. so unless you've seen the exact video i'm talking about, everything you just said is invalid.

​​​@@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty Friendly reminder that sensory issues are most common in neurodivergent people, and you are talking about understanding social cues, which neurodivergent people are a lot less likely to be able to do. You are very likely criticizing a neurodivergent child for acting like a neurodivergent child. Don't place the blame on the kid for not picking up on the social cues you feel she should already know. Even if she is neurotypical, everyone learns things at different paces. She asked a simple question, and she deserved a simple answer without hostility

"White Knight" is a similar, much older term. It is an inversion of your definition of "simp" here. It describes a man who is "soft" and "feminist", who defends femininity but for performative reasons, and not because he actually cares

This! I was actually coming to the comments to remark on this.

Oh yeah. It got so ridiculous that guy loving his wife/girlfriend and making her suprises or gifts is called "simp".

My man is constantly called a simp by both friends and family because on some occasions he has decided to do feminine things with me (which he obviously cannot enjoy because he is a boy 😒) he has told them that when he decides to do things with me he does it at own will and that I never force him and they still call him whipped and a simp

Right!! Now it's used as an insulting way to describe a man that shows any amount of support/love for women. Even their own girlfriends, wives, best friends... It's so pathetic it's like if you treat women as human beings you're a simp.

​​@user-xr7ci8tf3e anti choice feminism and telling women that they ONLY like pink and ONLY shave because of social conditioning is definitely not the answer pookie.

​@user-xr7ci8tf3e We are constantly operating under a patriarchal society with sexist/misogynist undertones. There's nothing we can do about that. Is cooking for your husband wrong because it's traditional and commonly used as a sexist way of controlling women? I don't think so. Choosing NOT to cook for your husband out of fear that it's a "sexist action" in my opinion, is letting the patriarchy control your actions, and can actively stifle women from having their own interests. This is actually very relevant to the ideas expressed in the video! I spent years denying my own individuality because I believed it was rooted in sexism. I will not do that any longer. I WANT to be a "princess" and I WANT a knight in shining armor. Clearly this is historically tied with sexist ideals, but that doesn't make the desire itself wrong or sexist. You may associate them together all you want, but in my opinion, true feminism is allowing women to choose to do what they desire (such as wear white at their wedding or cook for their husbands, or do neither of those things) without judgement.

Especially queer women. If anything, I’m doing it for women’s attention. I guess it technically works if they call me a pick me because I did get their attention lol

@@flyingfox3296 That circles into women not knowing how to cook for themselves. So many actions that would be for a woman to gain her on independence from others end up locking her into other female stereotypes of being "useless" So it ends up being a catch-22. Either she knows skills that COULD be used when she gets married yet that doesn't mean she IS learning them to just serve somebody else and or it's against her will. Like we all need to learn how to take care of ourselves somewhat. Like her learning to be self-reliant is a "pick me move" is mind-numblingly stupid.

It’s anti intellectualism and lazy thinking really

I agree so much. I was a tomboy towards the end of middle school and felt so alienating, bacause I had a hard time joining into conversations that revolved around feminity and in my class it was a high time of bad boy romance, loads of Make up and interest in guys. I always felt like I had to prove myself, because it just wasn't for me, but I felt alone with my interests and behaviour.

agree agree agreeee. i'm a femme lesbian, and i grew up hating the color pink, and i still mostly don't like it as an adult. and the horrible things some of these "girls girl"s say about women/girls not liking pink or not liking dresses/skirts are just... wow. like what if some girls hate pink, not because they want to appeal to men, but actually because the color pink is HEAVILY associated with traditional femininity and has ties to heteronormativity? why is it considered a "performance for men" to talk about our experiences with having traditional femininity and heteronormativity pushed down our throats since childhood?

@@zeybani exactly 💯 💯💯 they never wanna acknowledge the heteronormative elephant in the room

​@VVilllebot

I personally don’t experience my femininity like I wish because I can’t afford to look effortlessly girly or alt or whatever. It is goddamn privileged discourse either way and they need to garner real problems

Even adhd has become a buzzword and is probably about have the same fate as this word right ?

​@@advsreeharivsthe hive of buzzwords only seems to be growing

⁠​⁠@@advsreeharivs Nah. The difference is that object permanence is a function that you grow into. Not having it only applies to babies and if you still don’t have object permanence as a grown adult, that should be very concerning as it would imply you were very developmentally stunted to not have at an older age. This is a true buzzword. ADHD is nothing compared to object permanence being a buzzword.

@@tetrakis7755 bro why did you think I don't have object permanence

@VVillle No, it’s a competition and I’m winning

@@JizzaTony It's a bot, just don't respond.

@VVillle bot

Yesh I feel like the whole trans discourse is further perpetuating gender stereotypes.... Just because a guy likes makeup and barbies doesn't mean he's a girl!

op, b4 the wrong kinds of ppl swarm ur replies emboldened by the most recent one: no, this is not trans people’s fault. Trans people are some of the loudest advocates on the planet for allowing ppl to do whatever they want w/o having their identity dictated to them on the basis of these hobbies/fashion styles/etc - it’s kind of the entire point. Please stop blaming us for your own/parents’ own/educators’ own ignorance when they don’t bother to learn beyond their stereotypical ideas of what being trans/nb is and teach it to others (Edit: I get there’s odd exception like the trans woman on tiktok who tried to claim Kurt Cobain was definitively a closeted trans woman himself, but I’m at pains to point out that I only learned abt the drama because of the many, many other trans people who pulled her up on how this was wrong to do lol)

if only this idea was more common 😭

Imagine a world where people actually thought that way. Yeah, it’s not gonna happen, not anytime soon.

They might need to hear this in Fortnite terms 😅😅

​@cheesecakelasagna 'stop assuming bad intention and ignorance of women'...uhh skibidi... rizz..? idk im a millennial

INCLUDING MEN (Please don't take this personally, it wasn't. Unless you're exactly the type of person who needed to hear this.

Exactly my thoughts. We're seeing so many videos on a daily basis from people we don't know in the slightest that it's easy to take most of them literally. I'm sure there is a double standard between sexes when it comes to comedy, I find myself reinforcing that by accident sometimes too, but if I'd see the same joke told by a male comedian I never saw before while he has a straight face... I'll also assume he's just being misogynistic. If there's no indication in the title or the description of the video that it's satire, how am I supposed to know for sure? And even when you have disclaimers, sometimes your content gets reposted without the context so it's impossible to tell how genuine it is.

absolutely agree. i've seen too many people spouting that sort of thing genuinely/seriously. i would never have picked it up as satire if it hadn't been stated later - maybe the autism doesn't help, but i'm going to take that sort of thing at face value unless it's made clear that it's satire. i'm glad she was joking, but it wasn't clearly a joke, so it landed as a justpearlythings ripoff instead of an interesting and humorous critique.

Yeah, when I saw it in this video (not actually the original video, but from what I got it's literally like that) I got the impression that she was projecting and talking about someone specifically. There are too many videos of strangers on the internet who are 100% serious when they do something like this... It was really hard to spot the satire. But, to be fair, she said that she was not in control of the edit, so I'm gonna blame also whoever edited the video in that way. Like, maybe I would still not get the joke but, with a better edit, I would at least get it was satire.

I think it makes perfect sense and is funny? Like, she's describing *a New York dude's ideal girlfriend*, not a real girl. The way she says "I'd love to meet her" sorts of implies that such a girl might not even exist in the real world. Idk, I thought it was fairly obvious that she was making a joke about what men think they want?

Right. Sometimes people do just want something to be angry about, but sometimes you miss the context and risk taking it seriously. I missed the beginning part on my first listen through, which as @jaynestrange said was an important part of knowing it's satire. As always, missing context isn't always an individual's fault and I think it's a big part of why the Internet is such a big place for conflict to arise.

Alarm sounds off in the background.

Truly, all human squabbles can be reduced to like 10 archetypes

Thought you were talking about the youtuber Fake Gamer Girl for a sec

oh my god, you ressurected memoriess that were burried DEEP

Omg. My channel was literally an example of this

Not like other girls has 100% always been like that. Before diagnosis, that's basically just what i called it LOL.

What I’ve noticed is that many women will often go full circle and act as though other girls will always have your back, and talk about girl code as if its gospel, which never reasoned with me. As another undiagnosed autistic girl, I was often beaten down and made fun of by both men and women alike, which makes me confused. Women are so complex, and all of us are different. Is it not inherently backwards to assume all women are on our side when that is clearly not true?

@@justausername5749 Yes, saying stuff like that when it's clearly not true is part of the unspoken rules.

reading your comment was such a relief on my heavy heart bc this is exactly how I feel as an autistic girl and I can’t put it into words lol.

I feel this

I feel like women should be free TO BE WHO THEY ARE.

To quote Ke$ha - “We R who we r…DJ turn it up”

right. it's just making fun of masculine women/women with masculine interests all over again. can we pls just let women be😭

It really bothered me too, because I think the pick me trend came from seeing like. Misogynistic representations of women as shallow and vapid etc and wanting to pull away from that (albeit, in a way that's also misogynistic), so being the opposite of that is just. Being that misogynistic representation of what a woman is. Like, let's just get rid of all of it

@@fundiptimes I agree so much.

I've seen it be used to refer to any marginalized group that kisses up to their opressers in a way that involves throwing members of their own community under the bus.

@VVillle prommy?

@VVillle why are you google translating what you want to say in sanskrit

Same, I used it exclusively when I see women idolising men to the point where they could do no wrong or be seen as human, but would disrespect women and never believe in their capabilities. Also anyone remember when tradwives used to be part of the tumblr BDSM kink space, now they're pushing other women into their kink when they're on tiktok, wild.

​​@VVilllejokes on you buddy. My mom literally did get killed in a car accident 4 months ago. Will subscribing to your chitty channel magically friggin resurrect her?

@@lily-xj3hv I relate to this 🖤

It's hard being a teen who doesn't fit the mold and people forget that a) sometimes those sentiments are coming from real feelings of isolation and frustration and b) we tend to deal with frustration by letting it out on others (targeting the individuals that engage with "girl" culture rather than the wider society that tried to box you in) it takes time to develop understanding and nuance.

Exactly. It’s just rationalization for bullying. Same old dance dressed up in a new covering.

Skill issue

Yes! I've seen this myself!

This is so true 😭 Like I was once called a pick me on instagram because I said that I’m a short girl. Which is straight up facts because I am short. (I'm 150cm) So I was just telling the truth. But people just stick the "pick me" label on me.

The problem here is that being different doesn't make you better. The hate for the trope was uncalled for because it was just validating girls who were attacked and shamed for being non traditionally feminine

@@beyond.thepages_4’11” in freedom units

I never liked the trend

No you are third

@@eslem.4 shhhhhhh

Is Pearl really that incredibly stupid? Like everything I've seen seems to show that she could very well be incredibly stupid, but are we sure it isn't an act given her apparent success grifting from dumb men?

Her prize is an alpha bro who will cheat on her.

I don’t know. She’s like a comic pick me…

the subway girl is the patient zero of the modern pick me movement for sure, specifically because shes a comedian. I fucking hate comedians lol

I genuinely think Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and TikTok in particular have had an enormous negative impact on society as a whole.

Same lol. I just hope yt doesn't devolve into something like that. It's the only thing I use.

People in IG are so mean

But I'm starting to see it here too so were screwed either way

Which translates to "we need to get off the internet, as it works within the very concepts of tags and microcultures, hence reinforcing them", something only scifi writers can dream off.

This is shitty behavior in general obviously but one of her reasons being that you don’t shave your legs is WILD cuz that doesn’t even align with the male gaze 😭

Yeah, there are a lot of neopagans that preach gender essentialism. It drives me mad. Every time I try to learn more about paganism I'm met with repackaged misogyny and transphobia.

Not shaving legs is pick me?! Ermm wtf.

How to actually love yourself as a woman is embracing your body and not changing your body to please others. You do you girl. Loving your body and expressing yourself how YOU want is the healthiest thing you can do. 💜

I thought not shaving was seen as a feminist thing 😂 gosh we really can not win

That's how you shrunk in the first place 🧐

@@jazzenriquez9827 ha!! 💜💜💜

I'm also 5'2", making me an inch taller than my mother, and like 4 or 5 inches taller than HER mother, so I've internalized an image of myself as this hulking giant, towering over other women. It's always such a shock when someone comments on how "short" I am. Tall, short, average... it's all so subjective!

As someone of a similar height, it does make it harder to see in crowds or even in some theaters.

Oh, good! Are my towels done drying yet?

The only women who pick their names are celebrities and trans women!

I’m pretty sure that one was directed at Ariana for the Slater thing but who knows with some of these people

Just in general, names, size, body type, lowkey skin color, there are just so many things you cannot change included in these definitions. Not that putting people down for what they like or chose to do is much better.

In Polish almost every female name ends with an A. We also have a big bunch of names that start with A. All in all, we have a limited number of names so it is hilarious to think that some rando perceives the majority of Polish women to be pick me due to our rigid naming traditions, lol.

Great point. I think looking to literature for examples of performative gender and performative gender criticism is very useful, because helps prove this is neither new nor particularly difficult to get our head around. Lizzie does have negative thoughts about women in general (and is not the only Austen character to do so, although they do not exempt themselves from the general criticism), but the criticism of her by Caroline is targeted. Caroline feels the need to do this because she knows Darcy is more into Elizabeth than her and she dislikes her family and is a big jerk and she's trying to discredit Elizabeth in the eyes of Darcy but also (as a backup) win back her sense of superiority. The whole scene perfectly encapsulates everything that can go into these exchanges and why people do it. It's all about our internal sense of validity and superiority, which is (in women's lives) so often judged by how successful they are with men. This is especially the case when women's lives hinge on their relationship to men, as they do in Jane Austen's universe. Caroline, although she has no reason to worry about money or her future given her immensely wealthy and loving brother, is nevertheless growing older without having yet successfully secured someone who she feels is worthy of her station in life and thus completed the thing women are expected to do in order to achieve true success and transition to the superior state of "married woman" which holds more power and validity than the "unmarried woman" in her society.

@victoriafisher1923 yes, I agree: Caroline is accusing lizzie of trying to make herself look superior when that is exactly what Caroline's doing

Yeah, it’s almost like this has been happening since the dawn of humanity. Well maybe not the DAWN of humanity but at least once we started getting comfortable and needed to come up with reasons to hate each other.

I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS. I have been a feminist since I was young and when this phrase became popular "I'm just like the other girls" I kept wondering what it meant. Girls are all beautiful in their own ways and to group them all as one fails to see us once again as human beings and individuals. We are our own people. I learned this was in response to men hating on "stereotypical women" which is hard to imagine on it's own because there is no stereotypical woman. This phrase felt like it was playing into whatever the hell men believed about us.

"I'm an ANTI pick me girl" oh. So you're. Not like those women? You're not like the other women? You specifically a want praise and attention for being not like those other women, who are bad? Hmmm if only there was a phrase for that-

I’m glad it’s getting talked about as someone who grew up with the “not like other girls “ trope being big in books and then irl being annoying, but also felt uncomfortable how a lot of “girl power” /pop feminism response put down girls who actually don’t like makeup or feminists who would challenge actually possibly sexist standards. Especially neurodivergent women/girls or those who just aren’t always on trend

What? How is pottery pick me? Isn't that the most girly girl thing atm??

People who have nooooo hobbies because they can't get into anything get so mad when they see people being happy fr. Unless it's someone they can date and latch on to and then it's all "I love people who share their hobbies and passions with me!" like ok that's all good and well but where are yours

As a professional potter, interested to hear that me and my entire customer base are damned by this criteria

@@lyndonwesthaven6623welcome to the patriarchy, it blows

@bingonight1504 I mean, that's how I am with music. I don't have huge selection of songs that are "mine." But I love it when people share what they love with me. Those songs become very precious to me. I don't see how that's a bad thing?